Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Trowa Complex ❯ Epilogue; We Will Meet Again ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: The Trowa Complex

Pairings: 1x3, 4x5, 2xOC

Warnings: Character death...yeah, that's it for this chapter..Er..sorry?

--A Few Years Later...--

Heero and Trowa had been together for a while and had, beyond that one night, taken things slowly to ease Trowa into a normal, truly loving relationship. A few months after they'd gotten together, after their yearly physical, they discovered that something was quite off with the uni-banged pilot. He wouldn't be staying with them as long as they'd like to have together.

They had all thought, during the wars, that they would die young, but after the wars things had changed. Quatre and Wufei were living together now and Duo was quite happy with another boy he'd met a while back. They had all seemed to be living perfectly happy, normal lives that they never would have guessed possible while they were gundam pilots, fighting for the colonies. That one physical, that one test result that said 'positive', however, ruined everything for Heero and Trowa.

Even with the best doctors and the best medication, the HIV had progressed into AIDS rather quickly, and Trowa was dying. He managed to live a full three years before his visits to the hospital became more frequent and more alarming. Eventually, after a few months of that, he finally passed, leaving Heero a broken shell of a person.

The day of Trowa's funeral was bright and sunny, Heero noticed as he glowered out the window of Quatre's limousine. It was entirely too cheery of a day considering what had happened, what they had all gone through. What he had gone through. In the back of his mind, he knew rationally that it wasn't the world plotting against him, but that didn't stop him from hating it any less.

His eyes burned, all the tears he'd cried in the last few days making them hurt, and all the tears he wished he could still cry making them red and puffy still. He couldn't help but to think about Trowa's last moments, as he sat there by his bed in the hospital. The way Trowa looked over at him and smiled when he said his last words. 'I love you and I'll always be with you..' He'd smiled! He didn't have the right to smile to him during a moment that completely crushed Heero's spirit. But he did nonetheless, and it was as comforting as it was painful, knowing that Trowa would be alright when he left.

The most painful thing was that, as Trowa smiled and spoke, he didn't look as fragile as he was. He looked like the young man that Heero had known through the wars, always tough and strong and invincible. But he wasn't invincible, and it killed Heero to know that, as he spoke, he died, and he left Heero for good. He'd lied to Heero when he died. Trowa wasn't there, like he'd said he would be.

They pulled up to the cemetary, having foregone a service as Trowa had requested. He wasn't a religious man, and he hadn't wanted his friends to listen to what he felt were just petty words to make people feel better about their own deaths. They got out of the limousine and went to where his headstone was and to his 'grave'.

It was just a small hole, really, two feet deep with an urn filled with Trowa's ashes. But it was where he rested nonetheless, and it was next to where Heero planned to rest years from now. It was where most of Trowa rested, actually; a small part of him was always with Heero, in a small pendant he wore around his neck on a chain that Trowa had given him for Christmas one year. Heero refused to completely part with his love, instead keeping him with him always, in any way he could.

They all stood there, paying their silent respects to Trowa, their silent clown. Heero, one hand clasped to his pendant, kept re-reading the gravestone in silence, wishing desperately that it wasn't real. That it wasn't Trowa's name engraved there and that it wasn't his ashes buried there.

The quote was what Trowa had said when it became clear that he was not going to live for much longer. He refused to have Heero grieving for him for the rest of his life, but Heero couldn't help himself. His love was gone, had left him because of the disease that that bastard had given him the one, last time he'd been raped. The one time that Heero was listening, and didn't help him soon enough. God, he wished he could take it back, take it all back. That he could go back in time and kill Cain before he raped Trowa that last time and confess to him then just how he'd felt for the emerald-eyed pilot.

But he couldn't. He could wish all he wanted, but he could never change all that had happened to them. And in truth, he wasn't sure if he wanted to really. Knowing they'd had so little time together, the two of them made sure to make every moment they had together count. They took vacations and spent time with the circus, Trowa's adoptive family. He knew that if they hadn't had so little time together, they wouldn't have enjoyed the time they did have quite like they did.

The others had moved back from the grave, ready to leave, but stayed just a few feet behind Heero, letting him stay there for a moment longer with his privacy. He didn't know how long they waited before they stepped forward again. Duo wrapped an arm around Heero's shoulders, and Wufei stood next to him, a hand on his arm. He glanced, briefly, at them, before turning his attention back to the gravestone.

"He wouldn't want you to stay here and mourn him for the rest of his life. He loved you, and would want you to remember him and move on.." Wufei looked over at him, then squeezed his arm sympathetically before leaving Duo to speak to him alone, taking Quatre's hand and walking with him to the limo.

"Heero..." Duo paused, then sighed, gently but persistantly turning Heero's chin with his hand so that Heero was looking him in the eyes, "Heero, you have to move on. If you keep thinking about him like this, with just sadness. Do you want to taint the memory of him like this?" Duo suddenly smiled, looking less stern and more happy, though his voice was serious just the same, "Come on, Heero. Look at how nice it is today; do you want to waste a day like this when Trowa would have dragged you out of the house and made you have some fun? Let's go celebrate the memory of our best friend, okay?"

As Duo grinned and dragged him off, Heero looked back just once on the grave of his love, and found himself smiling a little bit. They were right; he couldn't sit around moping for the rest of his life. Trowa would hate to have his memory soiled with despair. A beautiful, bright, sunny day like this would have Trowa celebrating, and so, Heero would celebrate for him. With him.

A/N: It took a little longer than I'd expected before I could get myself in the mind frame enough to write this. I didn't want to make it too sad and I think I succeeded pretty well. I wanted to just display Heero's feelings about what happened, and have the ending as happy as possible, considering. Anyways, a final thanks to all of my wonderful reviewers, I love you all, and I appreciated the feedback. Please, let me know what you thought about the finale here, hm?

1 - I'm not sure exactly where my friend found this quote for me, but she had said it was on an icon she'd found on livejournal.com, so I'd just like to make sure everyone knows that I did not create that quote, and I'd like to at least try to give credit where it is due.