Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ To See You Again ❯ Comforting Words ( Chapter 42 )

Chapter 42: Comforting Words

 

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Duo relaxed against me as I returned to the couch after making us both an omelet to eat for breakfast. I made sure to stuff it with mushrooms and shredded sharp cheese to give it the best flavor. Duo hadn't said anything since the phone rang, but he's more than happy to curl up beside me and snuggle with me now that he's calmed down.

 

He eats quietly as we watch some reruns of old cartoons and family comedies. He smiles up at me every once in a while after he eats a few bites then turns back to the TV to watch the show. I think he keeps making sure I'm really there and not just some illusion.

 

I eat my own omelet and watch Duo in this quiet setting away from everyone and everything.The bathroom was done airing out a few minutes ago and after telling Duo where I would be, I wandered in the room to clean it up. The instant I went in, I threw away the bottle scrubber, still in utter shock that Duo would use such a thing to clean his insides. That thought still pained me, but when I asked Duo if he wanted me to take him to the doctor he shook his head no.

 

The damage he did to himself I still couldn't assess because he didn't want to leave the couch or enter our bedroom. I could see how he would associate the bedroom with his rape, but not leaving the couch at all left me a bit worried. I wanted to see how badly he hurt himself and if I really did need to call a doctor to look at him.

 

Duo seriously needed to stop blaming himself for what happened even though once we would talk it over he would seem fine. I didn't realize that because of these people calling the apartment and threatening him, Duo's new found safe world with me, had just become his new imprisonment.

 

The bathroom was easy to clean, but the things I saw in that shower stall shook me to the bone. Duo waited for me patiently on the couch and then made sure I had plenty of room to sit down. I gathered him in my arms and sat him in my lap after he was finished eating. He just snuggled and got comfortable like he normally did, but I could tell he wasn't at all balanced.

 

For starters, he made sure my arms stayed around him even as he twisted and turned trying to find a way to stay comfortable and seemed to slouch against me instead of just leaning backwards. Secondly, I was always in his vision, and he would strain his neck to see me if I didn't let him know where I was. Thirdly, whenever a loud noise sounded Duo would jump, shake, and tremble in my arms until he knew what the noise came from.

 

The noises I could stop, but Duo's reaction to them I couldn't. A few hours passed and Duo finally nodded off to sleep. I made sure to watch him carefully, in case he was gripped by a nightmare and needed to be brought out of it. His eyes moved rapidly under his lids and he would begin to sweat uncontrolably when a nightmare approached.

 

Sometimes I could talk him out of nightmares with soft words of comfort, but not today. Today was different from any other time Duo had ever gotten nightmares and so I made sure he knew it was me that was with him and no one else. I softly stroked his long tresses and his face with light touches while I cuddled him to my chest to keep him warm. Duo's skin would go cold when a nightmare grasped him in its clutches and I was determined to keep him from going all the way under.

 

By keeping Duo close to me the whole time, I finally got to see how much everything had been affecting him. There were dark circles beneath his eyes and some wrinkles on his forehead would crease from worrying too much. I kissed his forehead lightly after I discovered them and kept trailing my hands through Duo's hair while he slept. Hoping that he wouldn't lash out again like he had this morning.

 

He slept for two hours before finally waking up fully. I lost count how many times I tried to soothe him in his sleep, but I was ready to do anything for him and I wanted to know what he dreamed.

 

Duo's eyes fluttered before he woke up and looked at me for a second then looked away. "Hey. What's the matter?" I whispered softly to him. He just shrugged and laid his head back on my shoulder. I didn't want to be mean, but he had to talk about it even if he didn't want to. "Duo tell me about your dreams?"

 

"I wouldn't call them dreams." He replied bitterly.

 

"Nightmares then." I amended. "What are they about?" I pressed a bit. I wanted to wait for him to tell me of his own free will, but this pity party had to stop. This attitude, I feared, was going to cause Duo to pull something else that would end in self inflicitions.

 

"Heero, please..." Duo begged.

 

"Please what? Duo you have to talk to me about this. How can I help you if you won't speak to me?"

 

Duo closed his eyes tightly then said in a pained voice. "Because if I do, you'll try to make it better and you can't. I know how good you are to me Heero and I know you say I'm not dirty..."

 

"Duo-" I warned, but Duo cut me off. His eyes pleading with mine to make me understand that this was important.

 

"Just listen. If you knew everything, I know you'd find some way to go after them and I- I can't let you do that."

 

"If someone's hurting you, I am going to go after them! I won't let anything or anybody hurt you."

 

"I know that. I know that, Heero and it scares me that you love me that much. But I can't bear the thought of them doing the same thing they did to me as they would you!" Duo smacked a hand over his mouth and shut his eyes tight.

 

"That's what you're most afraid of isn't it? That I'd be taken away from you and used for someone else's pleasure? Is that what your nightmare was about?" I asked already knowing that had to be it. Duo couldn't look at me, but I felt the tremor run through him. "Duo, I promise you I'll be careful. I'm here with you now and I don't even know what these guys look like so I can't go after them, alright?" Duo didn't speak, but the slight head nod was enough.

 

I stroked his hair and looked around the room. The clock read 12:05 and Duo was still only wrapped in a towel. No wonder he was snuggling into me so much. He was probably freezing. "Come on Duo let's get you into some clothes." Duo hesitated and looked at me for a minute before I offered some encouragement. "I'll dress you if you want me to."

 

"Sure." I slid him off my lap and onto the couch before standing up. My legs were going numb from Duo laying on them so long, but I wouldn't tell him that. Stretching a bit to let my muscles go back to their normal functions and I cracked my neck to loosen it up from its stiff position, I felt good to go and held out my hands to Duo. He took them and I helped pull him to his feet and noticed something peculiar, Duo was wincing.

 

"Are you okay? Want me to pick you up?" I looked him over and noticed Duo was standing oddly, like he didn't want to stay on both feet at once. "Duo?"

 

"I'm fine Heero." He gave me a small smile and took a hesitant step forward and I heard him hiss in pain. I furrowed my brows at him and he noticed. "Okay, maybe not so fine."

 

"Let me see." I tried to keep the worry out of my voice and failed miserably.

 

"Heero it's-"

 

"No! I want to see what you did to yourself and now!" I wrapped an arm around him and gently bent him over, letting him hold onto the end of the couch. I kneeled behind him and unwrapped the towel only to hear Duo hiss again. Slowly, I peeled the towel off him and saw with much alarm that he was bleeding! "Oh Duo!"

 

Now I knew why he wasn't sitting up straight and had been leaning into me without fully sitting up. His ass was bleeding and not just a little. He was bleeding quite a bit! Probably not enough to be life threatening, but enough to have me worried.

 

"I'm getting you clothes to wear and then I'm taking you to the doctor's." I folded the towel in half and placed it back on Duo's rear before carefully scooping him up.

 

"How are you going to do that?" He asked somehow managing not to sound pained. "I'm bleeding, I know that."

 

"Why didn't you say something?" I asked as I laid him down on the bed then went to get a hand towel, a pair of baggy sweats, socks and a sweatshirt with a hood to dress Duo in. Hopefully the outfit would keep him warm and the towel in his pants wouldn't be noticeable. I was so wrapped up in trying to dress him, I almost missed the answer.

 

"I didn't want to burden you." He said softly.

 

"You aren't a burden, Duo. You just need someone to look you over. I'm calling Sally to see if she can take you." I reached for the phone and dialed.

 

"Oh great now another one of your friend's will know how messed up your boyfriend is!" I smirked at that. Duo had met Sally before he was my lover and became acquaintances with her. They weren't really friends, but I was sure Sally considered Duo as one, even if Duo didn't realize it. She picked up on the third ring.

 

"Hello, this is Sally Po speaking. How may I help you?" Her sweet voice spoke on the other end.

 

"Hey Sally, it's Heero."

 

"Hey. What are you doing calling here? Did you manage to injure yourself this time?" She joked. Sally knew I rarely hurt myself, let alone admit to it.

 

"No, not me. My boyfriend, Duo, is hurting."

 

"How so? What's his condition?" Clinical as always. She got straight to business.

 

"He's bleeding from the rectum. It isn't severe, but I'm worried. Can we come down so you can check him out?"

 

"Absolutely. Come as soon as you can. I'll set up a room for you."

 

"Thanks Sally. Bye." I hung up, not waiting for her dismissal and got to work finishing up dressing Duo. He pulled on the hoody by himself and I switched the towels and then got him into a pair of boxers to hold it in place. The sweats came last and amazingly I couldn't tell Duo had anything wrong with him.

 

I pulled on a shirt and tugged on my jacket, grabbed my wallet, placed it in my back pocket and the keys I gave to Duo, then picked him up once more. "You're really gonna carry me down the stairs and out to the car?" He asked nervously.

 

"Unless you think you can walk all the way or come up with a better plan, let me hear it now." I asked as I walked through the door and Duo locked the door behind us. He held onto my keys in one hand and wrapped his other arm around my neck with the other as I walked down the flight of stairs to my car.

 

I propped Duo up in the passenger side then got behind the wheel and we were off.

 

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The drive to Sally's clinic wasn't long at all since it was only six blocks away. Duo chose not to say anything the entire ride and I couldn't really blame him. He was probably embarrassed as hell and didn't know what to say. I was silently grateful for the silence now, since I didn't know what to say either.

 

I pulled up directly in front of the clinic and Duo faced the curb as well as the entrance to the building. I got out and pulled him gently into my arms and walked in through the automatic door. Catherine, Trowa's sister I found out from Trowa, worked here with Sally as a receptionist and was more than a little surprised to see me walk in carrying Duo.

 

"Heero, Duo, what happened?" She asked alarmed. I was about to tell her when Sally butted in.

 

"Yes do tell." Sally stood calmly in the hall and looked at the two of us with a critical eye.

 

"I thought you would be so kind as to tell us?" I questioned her back. She nodded and give us a small smile.

 

"Why don't you come right back here with him Heero?" She led the way down the hall and soon I stood in an imaculately clean room with cabinets of supplies and a cushioned table that was propped up. Gently I leaned over and set Duo down on it. "You said he was bleeding from his rectum, can you undress him for me?"

 

"Sure." I nodded and untied Duo's shoes and removed his socks and placed them on the floor, then carefully propped up his hips and slid his sweats and boxers down. Sally helped me get them completely off and laid them across a chair before turning back to us.

 

"Duo, we're going to place you on your side alright?" Duo nodded, his face bright red as Sally and I positioned him. I gently removed the hand towel and Sally gasped as she saw the crimson hue stain on the cloth I held. She took the towel from me and put it in the sink. It could be thrown out or washed later, now was the time to help Duo.

 

Sally pulled on a pair of laytex gloves and pulled out some lubericant and opened it on the bed that Duo was laying on. "This might feel cold Duo, but it's just my fingers okay?"

 

"Okay." Duo softly replied as Sally lubed her fingers and carefully worked them inside Duo.

 

"Can you raise your leg up for me Duo?" Duo raised his leg and I watched as one of Sally's fingers disappeared inside Duo. I stood behind Duo and caressed his braid and watched worriedly as Sally pulled out her finger and added more lube. Her fingers had blood on them. Duo's blood.

 

I could see concern mar Sally's features as she inserted another finger gently and probed around Duo's insides. Duo gasped softly in pain and I gently caressed his face with my fingers, trying to comfort him.

 

Sally removed her hands and threw away the gloves a few minutes later. She gave me a look that seemed like she was trying to see inside my soul and read what was there. I shook off that feeling and turned back to Duo. "So what's causing him to bleed?" Sally sighed and leveled me with her eyes.

 

"There's some small tears inside his channel and what feels like scratches covering all around the rectum that are causing him to bleed. They aren't too bad and should heal within a week, but I recommend you don't have sex for a while. Any increasing pressure can tear him more, and might lead to infection." I looked over at Duo and saw him curl in on himself tighter.

 

"Do you have any creams or antibiotics that you want him to take?" I asked. "We won't have sex and I promise I'll administer the medication to him myself."

 

"That will be acceptable. I'll go get a cream that will help heal you faster, Duo. Heero can you come with me please?"

 

"Of course. I'll be right back Duo." Duo just nodded as I slid a hand down his braid before leaving the room with Sally.

 

We went into the storage where the medicines were kept and Sally wheeled on me there since Duo couldn't hear.

 

"What happened him Heero? Those scratches couldn't be from having sex unless you got a piecing on your cock that was sharp as a knife! What caused those tears and scratches Heero?" She asked urgently. I swallowed hard.

 

"He did it to himself Sally. I didn't get any piercings and we didn't have rough sex, that kind of thing doesn't appeal to me at all. I would never do anything to hurt Duo, you know that!"

 

"Then how did he hurt himself like that?"

 

"With the kitchen scrub brush that's used to clean bottles. He took it this morning and... cleaned himself with it." Sally looked at me with horror at my revealation. I couldn't blame her, I felt the same way when I found out.

 

"He told me he had to get clean and I would hate him if he didn't. He believed he was dirty inside and needed to clean himself out for me. I don't know what to do Sally. He keeps having nightmares and I just-I just don't know what to do for him except be there for him." I told her softly.

 

"That's all you can do, I'm afraid. Let me get the cream and let's head back to him." She said gently as her eyes looked up and down searchin for the ointment. "There it is." She exclaimed, finding it and handing it to me. "It needs to be applied three times a day, for about a week. I'll set you up for another apointment so I can see how he's doing."

 

"Thanks Sally." I walked back into the room and saw that Duo hadn't moved. Stepping closer, I could see the stream of tears flowing from his closed eyes. Bending down, I kissed his temple and nuzzled his cheek with my nose. "Hey baby." I whispered to him so only he could hear me. Sally walked over to one of the cabinets and got out a small bag of cotton balls and wraps of gauze.

 

"Let's stop that bleeding." She unwrapped a bit from the gauze roll and opened it so it was wider then placed five cotton balls inside it and wrapped them up with more gauze then pulled on another pair of gloves. "This is going to feel a bit awkward Duo, but I'm going to insert some gauze into your rectum so you won't bleed everywhere. I promise, I'll be careful." Duo just nodded again as Sally did as she said she would and gave the rest to me just incase.

 

When she was done, I dressed Duo again while he remained limp. I pocketed the cream, gauze, cottonballs, and some extra gloves and thanked Sally. Before she left, she told me the visit was free of charge and whispered in my ear to take as much time as I needed with Duo. I didn't want her to do that, but I knew there was no point arguing with her and was grateful that I wouldn't have to carry Duo out when he was upset.

 

I sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Duo's bangs out of his eyes. "Duo, we should get home, but I won't take you if you're not okay yet."

 

"I'm fine." He pouted and hurried and sat up, which was the wrong thing to do. He yelped in pain and cringed as he laid back down.

 

"In a hurry? You shouldn't be." Duo breathed in deeply a few times before looking straight into my eyes.

 

"Why do you put up with me?" He asked seriously.

 

"Because I love you and you're mine and no one else's. It's my job to take care of you when you're not at one hundred percent." I smiled for him and was surprised when he returned it with one of his own. I was shocked even more when he reached out and pulled me down to him. His warm lips kissed my own and I kissed him back gently.

 

"Let's go home." Duo suggested. "I'm hungry."

 

"That sounds more like the normal you than anything else you've been saying lately." I teased.

 

Duo looked sad and embarrassed then ducked his head. "I'm sorry I keep caring on and doing all of this... shit. I can't help it. I kept having this nightmare where you left me and then when I found you, those mother fuckers had you kneeling on the ground and were raping you!"

 

This was the nightmare he wasn't telling me about. He kept it locked inside and was so sullen this morning when I found him. Sullen and scared and frightened!

 

"I couldn't do anything but watch as they kept fucking you and them saying I brought this on you! I wasn't there to stop them from having you! They wanted me, but you wouldn't let them, and they took you instead and made me watch! When I woke up next to you, I felt awful and dirty. I used that scrubber to punish myself for letting them do that to you!" He wailed, looking as if he was about to cry again.

 

My eyes widened. He did it to punish himself?

 

"Duo-"

 

"I had to. I felt as if I was covered in filth and they had come in me again and tainted me. I had to get it out of me and I didn't even realize it was just a dream. It was just a dream, but it felt so real. I promise I'll wake you up if it happens again, Heero. I swear I will."

 

"I know. I'm so sorry you had to suffer alone."

 

"My fault." He slapped a hand on his chest to demand it. "It was my fault!"

 

"It was both our faults. Don't take the fall for it alone. If I had woken up sooner you wouldn't have hurt yourself." I told him gently, trying to convince him though it was going to be a hard struggle. He shook his head and opened his mouth to tell me different, but I just tapped a finger over his lips.

 

"Let it go. Just let it go. I'll help you heal Duo. I'll help you get over it so you don't pull this kind of crap on me again. I love you so much and I don't want to see you hurting." I kissed his forehead and pulled him into my embrace, making sure he was still leaning back so not to aggrievate his injuries.

 

"Thank you Heero, for caring and loving me." I kissed his cheek and pulled back. "Can we go home?"

 

"You better believe it."

 

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TBC...

 

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