Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ To See You Again ❯ Healing ( Chapter 46 )

Chapter 46: Healing

 

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The beep of the machines were the only sound in the room for now. Duo lay sleeping on the bed, but even though I knew he was breathing from the steady rise and fall of his chest, it didn't stop me from worrying.

 

We brought Duo in last night and were surprisingly taken in immediately when we stumbled into the emergency room. I didn't know how bad Duo was. I knew he was going to live, that was certain, but with everything else... My heart was hammering too fast to even listen to it.

 

The receptionist was nice enough and lead me down in a room so I could place Duo on a stretcher. I wanted to go with him as they rolled Duo away to be checked out, but I couldn't. An older nurse explained there would be too many people in the room with him and they didn't want me to get in the way.

 

She lead me out into the waiting room where Quatre and Trowa were filling out Duo's paperwork. I was partially glad they were taking care of it. Even though Duo and I had been together for months we still didn't know each others medical histories or social security numbers. It hurt a little that I wasn't as trusted with that information and Quatre and Trowa were.

 

They smiled a bit at me as I sat down next to Trowa. We had to wait an hour before a nurse came and got us. I took the chair closest to Duo's bed and watched him just breathe and lay there. The tears had stopped, but that was only due to the sedatives the staff had drugged him with. A doctor came in a little while later and demanded to know what had happened. Trowa took the man aside to explain things.

 

I couldn't do it. I was afraid to touch Duo and hurt him more.

 

Quatre saw my hesitance and took my hand and placed it on top of Duo's. It startled me to feel how cold Duo's hands were and Quatre smiled at me and told me to warm Duo up before leaving the room to help Trowa.

 

Duo was hooked up to an IV that pumped him with saline and another that joined it that looked like antibiotics. Gently, I lowered the side rail and laid my head next to his shoulder, but not touching it. I kept a tight hold on Duo's hand and even when I drifted off to sleep, my hand stayed clasped to his.

 

When I woke up, I was surprised to feel a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. Quatre sat in the other chair across the expanse of the bed on Duo's other side. He also had Duo's hand in his, I noted and found myself looking for Trowa.

 

"He went to get us some coffee. He'll be right back." Quatre said softly to me. I nodded and he continued. "I put that blanket on you. I didn't want you to get cold either and besides you needed the sleep."

 

"What did the doctor say?" I asked. I had to.

 

"Duo will make a full recovery. He has two bruised ribs that have been bandaged since they were a bit fractured and the doctor doesn't want to take any chances. His rectum was torn quite a bit, but that can be expected after..." Quatre stopped and closed his eyes for a moment. "I've seen him go through this before and even then it was bad."

 

I could imagine how he felt, to see his best friend get raped and yet Quatre didn't know about the other rape incident and didn't see what happened to Duo in his old bedroom last night. I shook that image away and focused on Quatre instead.

 

"This time he's injured worse, but he's better off." I was about to open my mouth to protest, when Quatre added. "Because now he has you."

 

"Quatre's right." I turned my head and saw Trowa walk in with three cups coffee and bagels on a tray, as well as some bottles of water. He sat them down on the table at the foot of Duo's bed, then leveled me with his eyes. "He has you Heero and he loves you. You can help him get over this and accept it."

 

"What if I can't?" I saw understanding in their eyes. They knew what I was thinking. "I'll try to get Duo to bounce back into his life again, you know I will. It's just going to take him a long time to get over this."

 

"We know it will. Duo's pretty strong though. When he wants to do something, he tries his hardest and does it to the best of his ability." Trowa stated.

 

"And what if he doesn't want to?"

 

"Well, then it's your job to see that he does." Quatre added. "We had to do it before, but neither of us are his lover, as much as we do love him. You can do it because you know Duo in ways that we can't. Don't worry about it now. We have plenty of time to do that later."

 

"Agreed." I whispered and gazed back to Duo's still form.

 

"How about some coffee Heero?" Trowa offered me a cup, I took it and sighed, thinking about the whole hellish night we had. Trowa gave me a worried glance and I smirked sheepishly.

 

"No matter what you guys say. I think I'll worry now and later. I just want to take Duo home and wrap him in my arms. I want to keep him safe from everything, even if all I can do is try." I told them softly and sipped at the coffee. Duo called it liquid brown heaven, it was a small comfort that I remembered that. How I wished that he would just open his eyes and ask for some.

 

xxxx

 

Quatre and Trowa went in and out of the room all day. They made sure I ate even though I didn't feel like it. They only pushed me because they could focus on me, since Duo slept all day.

 

The doctor came in to check on Duo in the afternoon when he made his rounds. Quatre and Trowa asked him some questions and even though I wanted to, it wasn't necessary. Both of them asked the doctor everything I had wanted to say and he answered each question to the best of his ability. He left after reassuring us that Duo would be fine, physically at least. He recommended a psychologist and gave us her name and office number. Quatre tucked it away in his wallet and stated that we should try to help Duo first. Duo never trusted doctors before and he probably wouldn't speak to a shrink at all no matter what the doctor recommended.

 

The guys stayed longer than I thought they would and took me down to the cafeteria for dinner, though I was hesitant to leave Duo. They persuaded me and asked the nurses to get us if Duo woke up and told them where we would be. I ate automatically, not even tasting the food. Quatre tried to keep a friendly conversation going, but I wasn't up to it. It just didn't feel the same without Duo's rapid fast chatter and comments to accompany it.

 

We walked back to the room and Trowa and Quatre chatted a bit, that is until they had to go to Silver Scythe. Quatre told me he arranged for a cot to be put in the room so I could stay with Duo and promised to bring me some clothes to change into. I felt gross, but I couldn't make myself leave to take a shower. I would only have my clubbing clothes to change back into any way.

 

The orderlies rolled in the cot at nine and fixed it up for me while I still sat holding Duo's hand. They put sheets on the bed and left me a towel, a gown and pajama pants on top of it, which surprised me a little. I hadn't expected to be given them. When they went to leave a nurse came in to check on Duo. She shot something into his IV and gave me a smile before she bid me good night and left.

 

I debated with myself for a bit then set Duo's hand gently on the bed and picked up the hospital clothes. At least now I had something to sleep in and could take a much needed shower.

 

The shower was nothing to brag about, it was after all a hospital shower. However, I couldn't have cared a less. I would be clean. I unwrapped the soap and scrubbed my entire body down, washed my hair with shampoo and even put in the conditioner after I rinsed the shampoo out. Being clean definitely felt much better than being sweaty and dirty.

 

The pajama pants were cotton so I didn't mind not having any underwear on. I didn't bother with the gown since I rarely wore a shirt to bed unless it was a tee shirt. Duo probably didn't have any on either since he was only dressed in a hospital gown in the bed. He slept the entire day and even now, I hoped he would open his eyes. I was tired and knew I had to sleep.

 

The cot was close enough to the bed that I could reach out and touch Duo when laying down. I knew this because I tested it. Duo didn't move as I brushed my fingers along his arm. A sudden urge came over me to kiss him and I gave into it willingly.

 

I bent over him and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and then his nose before briefly claiming his lips with my own. Those lips were warm, but a bit chapped. I would go get him some lip balm in the morning or call Quatre to bring it for me. Crawling back into the cot, I couldn't help but feel lonely and a bit cold. Duo had been sleeping next to me for a few months now, and his absence didn't go unnoticed.

 

An ache grew in my chest to just climb into bed with Duo, even though I knew I couldn't. If he were to wake up with me in there with him, he might think he was still at his old apartment with... them. That caused a shiver to go up my spine and I shook myself for thinking about it. I finally contented myself with watching Duo's face until sleep claimed me and the nightmares began.

 

My subconscious has always liked to toy with me and my unconscious was no better. I dreamed that Duo was still in that room with those men, only this time, I was there too. I was strapped the the wall, naked and in the same position that Duo had been in when I found him. A collar was placed around my neck that held me upright and I had no choice but to watch as those four men molested and raped Duo again and again.

 

I was helpless. I couldn't move to save him or look away as they did those awful acts to him again. My arms strained to get the cuffs off, but as much as I pulled the tighter the cuffs became. Duo screamed for me to help him. Begged me to save myself if I couldn't and leave him there to die. I realized with a start that he was quickly moving away from me and being pulled into the darkness. Then there was silence and only my own screams resounded.

 

How could I have failed him?

 

A blood curdling scream filled my ears, but I could see nothing. Then my vision filled with the color of violet and I knew I wasn't dreaming.

 

My eyes snapped open and I awoke to a sudden, sharp gasp that could only be coming from Duo. He was sitting up in bed, panting hard, trying to get some breath back into his lungs and looking around the room with wide scared eyes. He was also sweating profusely, and I could see that the moisture was coming through the hospital gown he wore.

 

Sitting up slowly, I bent and brushed my finger against his arm. His head snapped towards me and he held his breath, looking at me as if he couldn't believe I was real.

 

"Duo, it's just me." He kept staring at me in disbelief, while I tried to explain. "We're in the hospital, you're safe now. Quatre, Trowa, and I brought you here. The doctors say you'll make a full recovery." Duo started breathing again, panting in a way that I thought sounded like he was going to cry. It surprised me when his eyes closed and he turned his face away from me. He was saying something under his breath and I strained to hear it.

 

"Now you've seen how much of a slut I am." He had whispered. I was out of bed and climbing behind Duo in a matter of seconds, barely having time to remember about his fractured ribs.

 

Duo stiffened a bit as I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his hair. "Don't ever call yourself that again! You aren't anything like that, not to me! I love you!"

 

"How can you? They raped me, made me theirs and I couldn't stop them."

 

"Why didn't you get me or tell me they were at the club? I would've kept you away from them." I asked, pulling Duo to rest against my chest.

 

"Because they-" He stopped.

 

"Because they what?"

 

"They would taken you with them instead if I didn't. They would've raped you too, just like I dreamed they would. I couldn't let that happen! I love you too much to let them do it to you Heero!"

 

"You did it to protect me." I realized with a start. He went through hell again just to protect me!

 

"I had to, even if you don't want me anymore, and how can you?" His voice began to take on a high pitch and tears flowed freely from his eyes. "How can you want me when you can't even fuck me now?" He whispered and bowed his head. Not want him anymore?

 

"I have never fucked you, Duo. We made love each and every time. Our relationship isn't based on sex or anything in regards to the act. We don't have to have sex, especially not until you're healed up completely. There is more than one way to be intimate and it has nothing to do with sex or making love. I still want you Duo, more than anything, so stop thinking like that!" Duo just stared at me throughout my small speech and lowered his eyes when I stopped. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but in this room at the moment.

 

"You need to rest and recover your strength. Are you in any pain?" He shook his head. "Do you want me to keep holding you?"

 

"I want you to, but I don't deserve-" I covered his mouth with my hand and slowly lowered his shaking body to the bed. My left arm, I placed across his belly and my right was under the pillows beneath Duo's head. I kissed his lips gently and then his forehead. Duo didn't react to them much except for his eyes fluttering a bit. I kissed his cheek gently, tasting his salty tears before speaking again.

 

"You do deserve me and I deserve you. We need each other and I'll take care you whenever you need me. I promised you. Don't you remember? Now isn't any different." I kissed his cheek again and nuzzled my nose in his hair. "Just sleep. I'm right here."

 

Duo nodded off eventually and I dozed a bit, but didn't fall asleep entirely. Partially because I wanted to monitor Duo while he slept and ease any nightmares he may be having. He had at least three that I knew of and eased them with soft caresses and words. Duo curled against my body like he always had, which relieved me more than I would have liked to admit.

 

I was afraid he wouldn't want to be touched or held after this incident. Afraid that maybe he would cringe away whenever I would try to touch or kiss him. However, I was glad when he was cuddled against me, if not more so than he used to. Duo even wrapped his arms around me in his sleep. I made sure he didn't pull at his IV too much and tucked his head underneath my chin to lay on my chest.

 

He didn't stir the rest of the night.

 

xxxxx

 

The sun rose in the sky like it did every morning and like it did on some days, the light shined directly in my eyes. A nurse came in around five and thankfully twisted the blinds so they would direct the sunlight to the other side of the room instead of my eyes. She was a bit surprised to see me in bed with Duo. Okay, that would be an understatement.

 

She was shocked to find the two of us in the same bed and was about to say something when I pressed a finger to my lips and pointed down at Duo. Any comment she might have said died on her tongue. She came over and checked the IV, shot some painkillers in the IV site and noted how much saline was still in the bag that hung next to the bed. (1)

 

Duo mumbled something in his sleep and I stroked his braid and kissed his forehead. The nurse got a soft look in her eyes and bent down to whisper in my ear.

 

"You're good medicine for him." She smiled at me and I smiled back before she walked out the door and shut it with a barely audible click. Duo slept most of the morning and didn't even wake up when Trowa and Quatre came to visit.

 

Quatre came in first, holding a bag that was probably filled with clothes for me and noticed what was going on in the room. He turned to Trowa with a hushing motion of his fingers before entering in the rest of the way. Trowa had a vase of red roses in his hands and set it down on the table before sitting down next to the bed.

 

"I didn't expect you to jump in bed with Duo this fast Heero." Quatre remarked quietly. I glared at him, this wasn't a time to joke, but Quatre amended it by his next words. "He's having nightmares isn't he?"

 

"Yes."

 

"I had to hold him whenever he slept after what happened with Alex. Trowa, too when I couldn't be around or the both of us would laying on each side of him to hold him so the nightmares wouldn't be so bad. It makes him feel safe."

 

"I know." I stared down at Duo's closed eyelids and gently pushed back his bangs to kiss his forehead.

 

"Mmm..." He moaned a bit then nuzzled against my chest with his cheek. It won a smile from me and the guys as well.

 

"We ran into the doctor on the way to the room." Trowa said softly and reached out to run his fingers down Duo's braid.

 

"Oh really? What did he say?"

 

"Duo has to stay here for a the rest of the week. Mostly it's to observe him and makes sure that his ribs won't shift and hurt him any more than they probably already do. I'm surprised he's curled up on his side like that." Trowa said and eyed the bandages wrapped around Duo's chest. He could only tell because the gown gaped in the back and he could see them from where he was sitting.

 

"The doctor told us before, his ribs were fractured only on the right side, so he can lay on his left side without hurting himself." I informed him. I had paid attention when they spoke to him. I just didn't add to the conversation.

 

"I must have not heard that." Trowa sighed a little bit louder than I think he intended, but it was enough. Duo's eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly, which he instantly regretted. His arms wrapped around his right side and he instantly laid back down on me.

 

"Ugh." He groaned and panted as the pain of sitting up so fast seized him. I gently stroked his arm and kissed his temple as he tried to calm down and relax again.

 

"Shhh... It's alright Duo. Quatre and Trowa are just here to visit you."

 

"Kat?" He panted and looked for him and then smiled at him. It was a pained smile, but it was still a smile.

 

"Hey there, Duo. You have to stop jarring your wounds like that or they'll open up again." The blond chided.

 

"Always the mother hen. It's good to see you again though. I didn't know if I was ever going to." He voice trembled a bit and Quatre got up and stroked his hand down Duo's cheek before leaning forward and kissing Duo on the forehead.

 

"But thanks to Heero you can. We just want you to get better and stop giving everyone a scare." He kissed him again and then sat on the bed next to my hip. Trowa scooted forward and took Duo's hand in his own and ran his thumb across the backs of Duo's fingers. Duo turned his head and smirked at him.

 

"Wherever Kat is, Tro is right behind him." I sat back a bit so Duo could sit in between my legs and lay back against me so he could be comfortable. "Thanks Heero. I gave everybody a scare didn't I?"

 

"Yeah, you did. But we found you and you're safe now. No one can get you with us here, I promise." Trowa kissed his hand tenderly before laying it back on the bed.

 

"Why do you all put up with me?" Duo wondered out loud. I wrapped my arms a little tighter around him and shared a look with our friends.

 

"Because we love you, and you love us." I said softly against his cheek. Duo sighed a little then turned and kissed me softly then pulling away a bit to rest his head against mine.

 

"I do. I love all of you, even if I don't deserve it."

 

"Listen to me Duo and listen good," Trowa started to speak, his voice soft, yet dead serious and commanding. "You deserve us no matter what has happened in the past, the present, and even in the future. You are our friend, and even more than that even though there are no words to describe it. You belong with us and we love you unconditionally no matter what. Understand? No matter what.

 

"I want you to promise us that you'll stop saying all this 'I'm unworthy' crap you're spewing, because none of it is true. Quatre and I have known you since middle school and Heero knows you more intimately then we can, so if you think we don't know who you are, save your breath. We know who you are and how we feel towards you. We won't change our minds about you just because someone used you."

 

I had never heard Trowa speak this way, to Duo or anybody else, but I could see how his words broke through to Duo. He heard them, loud and clear.

 

"You're still our friend, you're still Heero's boyfriend, lover, soul mate, what have you. Nothing about you has changed you beyond repair. Nothing! Okay?"

 

Duo was quiet them spoke. "What about the rapes?" He sounded miserable and I could feel him shaking in my arms.

 

"Nothing Duo." I whispered in his ear. "I made you mine and you made me yours. Nothing has changed that. I desire you always, but I want you to heal. I couldn't keep you safe from them because you didn't tell me. You chose to protect me from them by going with them and having them use you instead of letting them have me."

 

Quatre and Trowa didn't know about this and their eyes widen at the revelation.

 

"You protected and I'm forever grateful that you did that for me. But, if I had the opportunity to kill the bastards I would have."

 

"Actually Heero, you put that guy in the hospital. The cops were here with him. He's under lock and key, but that beating you gave him did almost kill him. Most of his ribs are broken with a lot of internal swelling and you broke his jaw, besides his hands and fingers. The doctors doubt he will be able to use them again." Quatre told me.

 

"Well if he ever comes near Duo again, I'll finish the job." I promised.

 

"No chance of that I think. If Duo testifies in court then all of them could serve life sentences."

 

"Then it's over?" Duo asked eyes hopeful.

 

"If you testify to a judge, yes. It would be over."

 

"I'll testify, but only if..."

 

"We'll be right beside you." Quatre said and eased Duo's fears.

 

"Then I promise to stop blaming myself." Duo said and settled in my arms, the tense muscles finally relaxing somewhat.

 

"We're glad to hear it." I said and squeezed him gently. Duo just sighed and asked how the club was. He wasn't back to normal, but we could work on that.

 

Quatre and Trowa stayed all morning long until the nurse that checked on Duo earlier came in and brought a basin of water with her as well as a towel and washcloth.

 

"I'm afraid you gentlemen must leave until Mr. Maxwell has been bathed and gets new bandages for his cuts and ribs." The nurse told them. Quatre smiled at her and said they had to leave anyway. He leaned down and gently hugged and kissed Duo good bye and then let Trowa do the same.

 

"We'll call you later Heero." Quatre promised as he headed out the door. I nodded to him and then was alone with the nurse and Duo.

 

"Do you want to help me bathe him?" She asked, but Duo looked at her warily.

 

"Can't he just wash me himself?" He asked and smiled at her. I knew that smile. It was the smile that could make me melt when he beamed it at me. The nurse scanned him with her eyes then sighed.

 

"I suppose so, but make sure to call me back in after you're finished. I need to fix your dressings." She handed the washcloth and towel to me and I took them. She pulled the curtain around the bed so even if someone came in the room, no one would see Duo naked. I heard the door click closed and began helping Duo out of his gown.

 

"I guess I do need a sponge bath with all these bandages. I think they were trying to make me into a mummy." Duo remarked as I slowly removed all the ones on his chest and thighs. There was still another one to be removed. The one wrapped around Duo's penis. Duo must have seen me hesitate since he reached down and removed it himself and winced. "Guess we can't have sex either way, can we?"

 

"Duo, don't." I soaked the washcloth in the soapy water and began to gently wipe him down and clean his cuts. Most of them were no longer bleeding but needed to be covered to prevent infection. Duo stayed still as I cleansed his penis and testicles and I noted that most of the cuts weren't that deep. They were cuts that were meant to hurt painfully and I was a little annoyed at myself that I didn't castrate the bastard like I wanted to.

 

I patted Duo dry with the towel and called the nurse back in. I watched as she bandaged Duo so I would know how to do it later. I couldn't wait to get him home.

 

Only a few more days, but to me it seemed like an eternity.

 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

 

TBC...

 

Thank you to those of you that have reviewed: Serena429(Hugs you!), Jenna (Welcome and thanks for the review!), XtoxicXtearsX (I love the pen name. Very cool and thank you!), Nikkler (You make my day! Hugs you!), ZaKai (You review on most of my fics. Thank you some much for the feedback, it's nice to know that people like my work.), Yaruna (Welcome and keep reviewing. More on the way. No worries.), LiZzard (Thank you for posting on two sites! *huggles* I love the feedback!), DK_Joy (You're awesome. The fact that you reveiw whenever you can makes it worth it. Thank you so much for the support.), Anissa32 (you switched sites! O_O That's okay though. I'm glad to hear from you.), Nita-sama (You are awesome! I wish I could kill off the bastards, but we wouldn't want Duo to suffer more, do we? Thanks for the comment. *Hugs*), Rose Fury (I'm glad you came back and don't worry there's always time to catch up. And I promise, they'll do a bit more rotting. Heh heh.), ShinigamiGirl (*makes sure to lock the bastards up and throw away the key* check. ^_^ Thanks so much!), Lady of the Rose and Rain (I hope this chapter satisfies your question. Thank you and See I updated! ^_~) Moon Wizard (Here's an update! I hoped you like it. It's not so much a cliffhanger this time see. *Points at the last sentence* *grin*) Thanks to all my reviewers! *Hugs you all!*

 

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(1) IV site- [aka] the angio catheter or where the IV goes directly into the patients' hand. (I learned this from my mom since she is a Medical Technologist. She draws blood out of people for testing, but also helps with IV's.

^,....,^