Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ To See You Again ❯ Faith ( Chapter 48 )

Chapter 48: Faith

 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

 

As I walked back to the apartment that Duo and I have shared for a good chunk of the year, I think of how much of a rollercoaster our time together has been. A lot of the things we did together was all for Duo's sake. Even more so was the bond we had developed and the healing he had to go through to get his head on straight. He had gone through so many changes that I had to change too, and learned a lot of things that I didn't know about myself. I had done it all for him, because it was what he needed.

 

Duo needed to know that he wasn't alone anymore. He had to understand that I wasn't going to turn into Alex. Alex was in prison. He didn't just suddenly show up once again to come and ruin Duo's life with me. It was because of those bastards that Duo had lost the confidence he had once held in himself. Trying to rebuild it was going to take a long time. But what was worse, he had lost his confidence in me at the worst of times.

 

I had let him down. I hadn't been able to protect him from the rapists that he was willing to go with because of his fear that they would take me away from him. And I was stuck within the guilt that welled up from what those actions had caused him to bear through once again.

 

At least, he didn't suffer alone.

 

I can't recall my exact thoughts now that we have settled back into our routine. The only big change being that I haven't initiated sex since he'd been hurt and it was eating at him. The conversation he had with Trowa made me realize I was treating him like he was made out of spun glass. Ever since his breakdown I had tried to do anything I could do for him, but refused to act in any way that might remind him of how those bastards treated him. Duo just ended up getting more and more upset with each passing day and I hadn't noticed until he wanted to know if I had taken another lover since he was the 'broken toy.'

 

Needless to say, his depression scared me. He would be moody on some days and on others... he just did whatever I told him, as if he were a slave and I was his master.

 

I didn't want to be his master. I wanted my Duo back. My lover that had as many rights and reasons to be treated equal as any other person on the street would.

 

When we had gotten back from our date last week, I had finally seen what I was missing. Duo even tried to crawl into my lap when we got home that night and I think he would have tried something if he hadn't passed out as soon as I moved him and his head hit the pillow.

 

I hadn't slept at all that night. Thoughts spinning around in my head over and over with no beginning or end to them and sadly, there was not a single answer to the problem I was facing.

 

Duo moved a lot in the night and when I curled his body into mine all the tension bled out of his and he buried his face in my neck and finally was able to relax. Even in sleep, his body knew my touch and welcomed it and my guilt increased even more. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and continued to think well into the pre-hours before dawn and finally thought of a plan I would have to do, even though I knew I might not like the results.

 

Tonight was a bit different than most nights. Duo had cooked our dinner and cleaned while I was at work, although he should have been at the club. When I asked him about it he just smiled and said Trowa and Quatre could handle it and they had given their permission to take the night off.

 

I knew they had.

 

The smells that wafted from the kitchen were heavenly and I told Duo this as well. He just shrugged at me then came to give me a welcome home kiss. His lips tasted salty and I knew it wasn't from anything he ate. I knew the taste of his tears all too well, but I let him go and went to change into some more comfortable clothes. As I went down the hall, I saw Duo sit at the kitchen table and put his head in his hands looking a little shaken. I had to stop myself from rushing back in there and sweeping him into my arms and demanding he talk to me, but my plan wouldn't allow it.

 

I stripped quickly and tossed on a pair of well-worn jeans and a soft cotton shirt. The apartment was warm enough to wear a tee shirt and I intended to for what I had planned. For all things considered though, I wasn't stupid. I knew how bad this could go and had called Quatre and Trowa while I was at work to tell them about my plan.

 

Quatre didn't like it one bit, but Trowa... Trowa and I both knew it was about the only thing that just might work. Quatre argued with me until I explained in detail what I was going to try and if all went to hell, I needed him to help me put Duo back together. He grudgingly agreed and I bought the necessary items I needed.

 

"Heero? Is everything all right?" Duo asked on the other side of the door, shaking me back from my thoughts.

 

"I'm fine. I'll be right out. Why don't you scoop out what you've been cooking?" I called back to him while pulling off my socks.

 

"O-okay." He said softly and his footsteps sounded as he walked away. I took a deep breath a tried to steady my nerves and do what needed to be done. I took out the items from my briefcase and put them in the bedside table then went to see what Duo cooked up.

 

Duo placed the portions of what we would eat for dinner and put the rest to the side for seconds. His back was turned to me and I came up behind him to nibble on his neck in the way that drives him crazy. I could feel the shiver that went up his spine as I licked the spot behind his ear and slipped my arms around his waist to pull him against my chest. He tilted his head to allow me more access and I took advantage of it. Trembling in my arms as I tasted his skin, he stayed silent and allowed me to do whatever I wanted to with his body. He was so deprived of my touch it seemed that he wanted to be reassured in any way possible.

 

After a few minutes of gently kissing him, I helped him sit in his chair and took the seat next to him. He smirked at me before turning his attention back to his food. We ate in silence. Duo would glance up at me now and then but wouldn't say anything to me. I caught him biting his lip more than once when he thought I wasn't looking. When I was about to eat the last bite I complimented him and he blushed from my praise.

 

"Who taught you how to cook this?"

 

"Quatre. He taught me way back in high school. He was the only one out of the three of us who could cook something and not burn it. Trowa knew how to make certain dishes from other cultures but other things just stumped him. He always managed to make desserts though. That was his true talent besides being a good performer."

 

"So what was your best talent? You make a pretty good dessert and I think I want some." I said a bit harsher than I would ever have. Duo looked up at me with bright worried eyes, but didn't say anything. He merely nodded and I went and grabbed his wrist.

 

"Now, where should we do this?" I asked aloud and pulled Duo over to the counter and shoved him against the it with my body. I grinded hard against him and felt him shiver in response. "Do you want it Duo? Should we try some new positions? Maybe take you bent over this counter hard and fast? I know that sweet pucker of yours missed me." I watched as Duo's eyes widened and he started to shake.

 

"Heero? Why are you...?"

 

"No, the counter won't do. How about on the floor? You're still flexible. Trowa even said you could put your feet behind your head. Now that would be an interesting position, don't you think?"

 

Duo shook his head and tried to disagree, but I wouldn't let him utter more than a few words at a time.

 

"Heero, I can't do that anymore. It would hurt too much."

 

"Hurt too much? But don't you want to satisfy me? Don't you want me to stick it in you and pound you until I bleed you raw?"

 

He looked at me in fright. Unable to believe I had said I wanted to hurt him.

 

"Why would you do that to me?"

 

"Because it's what you want." I slid him to the floor intending to play out what I had said only to be pushed away and knocked over by Duo's strong legs.

 

"What are you talking about? I don't want that. What's wrong with you, Heero? How can you even say that to me?!" He practically screeched at me and scrambled to get away from me. I was two seconds behind him as he hurried into the bedroom only to realize where he had headed. I shut the door behind me and locked it. Duo's panic increased and I could see how he was eyeing up the window. It was his only possibility of escape since he knew he couldn't get passed me. As I stalked closer to him, he took the opportunity that was open and lunged for the window, only to be caught around his middle and dragged over to our bed. He started thrashing around to get away from me. Finally realizing that he was no match for me he got desperate and tried harder to break free.

 

I got him to the bed and sat on his chest holding him down with my weight and my knees preventing his arms from hitting me. I leaned over and tugged open the bedside table drawer and took out two short silk ties and wrapped him around both his wrists. Then took out the handcuffs that were in there as well and snapped one loop around his wrist before weaving the other end through the metal spokes in the headboard and secured his other wrist in its confines.

 

Duo was whimpering in fright by the time I shifted to sit on his hips and started to undo his pants. He pulled ineffectively at his hands trying to slip the cuffs off, yet I knew he couldn't. I made sure they were good and tight. When he figured out that he couldn't get free, the blind panic filled his eyes even more, he noticed what I was doing and tried to buck me off of him. My gut clenched painful as that sick feeling wrapped around my stomach. I wanted to end this but knew I had to see it through until the end. Hoping beyond anything that Duo would respond the way I hoped he would finally let go of all that he was feeling.

 

He thrashed and kicked trying to remove me, but he couldn't. I tugged his pants off and threw them on the floor then just looked at him. Tears were streaming down his face, his chest heaving in great pants of air and his thighs clenched tightly together to prevent me from doing what he knew was going to come next.

 

I smirked at him playfully even as it turned my stomach and crawled onto the side of the bed. Duo was ever so still and I had to wonder if he was going to kick me, but he remained still even as I caressed him. My fingers trailed down his thighs and calves then slowly back up the inside part of his legs as much as I could and cupped his genitals that lay limp against his thigh.

 

"You're so very beautiful, Duo. I know you missed me. You didn't let me get to do you a third time like I wanted to in your apartment. Trowa knocked me out before I could make you feel good again. Don't deny it. You want me in you." I whispered to him and watched his eyes fill with a haunted look. I knew he was remember who would say those words to him. Who made him so broken at times that all he could do was sit down and cry until he had no more tears left to shed.

 

"It'll be just like it was before you're new boyfriend came into your life. You don't need him. You've got me to fill you whenever you need something shoved into you." I saw the name that formed on his lips and knew he was no longer seeing me above him. He was seeing him.

 

He thought Alex had come back to rape him all over again.

 

Just like I thought he would.

 

"Come on, baby. You know you want it. Open those thighs for me." I tried to coax him to do it, like Trowa said Alex would have. Quatre said Alex sometimes called Duo 'baby' and it was effecting him deeply. Duo's entire body was trembling in fright, his eyes tracking every sweep of my hand and tightening the pressure of his thighs to keep them closed and prevent me from reaching my target.

 

I began to intensify my touch and began to try and separate his thighs only to have him clench them even harder until I crawled over him and shoved them apart quickly and sat in between them.

 

"Get away from me Alex! GO AWAY!" Duo screamed and then kicked me hard, right in the stomach. "You know nothing about Heero! NOTHING! He loves me more than you ever did! He didn't rape like you did! You sick twisted fuck! Leave me the fuck alone and get out of here!"

 

Duo raged and thrashed and soon his wild movements caused the chain to groan and the handcuff chain broke in half and he stood up over me and looked just about ready to deck me if I didn't comply with his demands. I quickly got up and got out of there, silently happy that Duo was finally standing up to what he was afraid of. I unlocked the bedroom door and fled, snatching my keys on the way out so I'd be able to get back in later and went for a walk to give Duo time to calm down.

 

I hope he has.

 

The staircases are silent at this late hour. I went to the park that's down the street from my apartment and just sat on the swings, hoping Duo didn't hate me for doing what I knew had to be done. All of this time that I spent with Duo has been so incredible, sometimes I forget where we started out.

 

No. I take that back. I didn't realize how much pain he hid from me until our entire world started crashing down around us. One phone call that had devastated Duo to the core and ripped all of his strength out of him, leaving me to be his pillar of strength and unending source of love for him to come home to. I can't even imagine how empty I would be without him. His faith in me coming to save him in his time of need never wavered, nor did his love or loyalty to me. There is no other man I would rather have than my Duo.

 

I finally get to my door and listen for any sign that Duo's in there. The light from the living room shines underneath the door and I at least know he left the light on. The door is locked as I expect it to be. As I open the door, I note that nothings out of place, at least nothing in the living room or kitchen, the bedroom however...

 

Slowly, I made my way to the bedroom, hoping to find that Duo is still in there. To my utter relief he was, just sitting on the bed with his head in his hands sobbing. I made sure that my footsteps were a bit louder than normal so Duo would hear me. He did and turned to me with red, watery eyes. I collapsed to my knees in front of him and hugged him tightly around his waist. He grasped at my shoulders just as tightly. I allowed him to cry, to shower me with his tears and pretend that those salty drops were washing away the torment I had put him through.

 

"I forgive you. I realized who you were when you left the apartment. Shit Heero, I really lost it didn't I? I really thought you were Alex. Thank goodness you're not though. I might have killed you." He said in a mere whisper.

 

"You needed to let it out, Love. You needed to free yourself from him once and for all." He sniffed loudly trying to stop the tears that wouldn't stop forming.

 

"And how am I supposed to do that Heero?" I smiled gently at him and caressed his hair as I got the key to the handcuffs and freed his wrists from their confines. Red welts appeared on his skin where the metal had rubbed too harshly against the silk and bruised his exposed skin. I softly kissed the hurts that my actions had caused and then gazed into his teary violet eyes.

 

"I know what you have to do, if you'll let me help you." He nodded and reached for me once more letting me know that my plan didn't make him fear me. It was one of my worst fears, along with Duo breaking down entirely that I worried about. But my fear was unfounded and Duo molded against me as we lay down on our bed and cuddled each other. Trying to put behind the actions of the night.

 

"So when will you tell me this plan of yours?" He asked quietly as he drifted off to sleep.

 

"First thing in the morning, I'll tell you what I think you have to do." I kissed his forehead and nuzzled my nose in his hair before watching his eyelids droop and sleep claimed my beautiful lover.

 

xxxxx

 

Duo wasn't too thrilled with the idea, but after I explained to him every reason why I thought it needed to be done, he agreed. I made the arrangements near noon and we were on the road by one o'clock. It was a three hour drive to where we had to go and I tried to keep Duo's mind distracted while I drove. We played a few travel games and after that event passed, I started to sing to him with the music on the radio. He blushed and then sang with me until he saw the fence of sharp metal that arose before us.

 

The guards buzzed us in after they searched us and I proved who I was with my ID. Duo squirmed as we went through the channels and papers we had to sign before the last step in my plan could take effect.

 

When we finally reached the last set of doors we had to go through, Duo snatched up my hand squeezed. I entwined our fingers and squeezed back letting him know I was still with him in every step he had to take. I nodded to guard when I felt Duo was ready and he took a deep breath before entering the room. There he was, sitting behind a triple thick glass window was the fearsome devil that had haunted Duo's life for so long.

 

With a final squeeze to my hand, Duo sat in the chair in front of the glass and picked up the phone that hung next to the window and spoke into the receiver.

 

"Hello Alex."

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

TBC....

 

A/N: I've been working on this chapter for what seems like forever since my muses didn't want to work with me and college life has just been a pain in the ass lately. But I love all my readers and since so many of you poked me, my muses finally agreed and ta da, an update. My final projects are coming up fast so another chapter to this might be put on hold. Hopefully, not as long as the last holding period, but long enough to cause some mobs to form. Eh... maybe. *runs off to work on her paintings before the muses flee*

 

Please review and tell me what you thought and thank you's go out to everyone who reviewed and poked me to start writing again and close to finishing this. *HUGS!!!!*