Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Two Can Play ❯ Round One ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: For the four *billionth* time, they all are not mine.

Author's Notes: Don't ask me where this story came from because I have
no idea. It's probably the after effect of breathing in all the bug
spray my brother and I perfumed my room with, trying to kill a
cockroach. That stuff is lethal. Anyways, I hope things in this story
aren't too wacky and that characters aren't too out of sync. We killed
the bug, by the way. One down, literally trillions to go. Orginally,
this story was posted as twelve parts at a different site. I hope you
like it.

Dedication: To my friends. My support system.

****

Two Can Play

by Kristen Elizabeth

****

"Heero...I've been doing a lot of thinking. When I was on L4 last week
for the signing of that trade agreement, I took a walk in a park
Quatre recommended. I saw this couple, about our age, having a picnic.
I must have watched them for half an hour. They looked so very much in
love. And something occured to me." Relena Peacecraft looked up into
Heero Yuy's deep blue eyes. "I think I'm ready to spend the night with
you."

Heero blinked. And then blinked again. "Really?"

The former Queen of the World blushed. "Really. I love you. And I want
to be with you...like that." She looked down at her suede shoes. "I
can't ever imagine being with another man."

There was a long pause as Heero desperately fought for something to
say that wouldn't sound too relieved or excited, but would also have
no chance of being misinterpreted as a 'no'. "So...tonight then?" As
soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them.

A shadow flickered across Relena's face. "Well, I wasn't really
thinking that we'd...jump right into it. I mean, I've never....and
you've never...." Her eyes widened. "Have you?"

Heero shook his head. "No. I haven't."

Relena seemed relieved. "Then we should take things slow." She smiled
with innocent seduction. "But not too slow."

"Not too slow", Heero repeated. Her fingers were playing with the top
button of his shirt. "How slow is not too slow?"

Still smiling, she rose up on her toes and kissed him lightly. "I have
no idea", she replied. "I suppose we'll just have to feel our way
though it."

"Feel our way through it", he echoed. Her hands were guiding his to
her hips.

Relena's lips were on his jaw. "Take every step one at a time."

"One at a time." Without her help, his hands slid down the linen
covering her backside.

"And trust ourselves not to get in over our heads."

"Over our..." The door to Relena's office flew open suddenly. Heero
backed up a step, removing his hands from the Vice Foriegn Minister.

Relena touched her bottom lip before turning to face the uninvited
guest. "Millardo. What are you doing here? I thought Miss Noin had you
on vacation."

Millardo Peacecraft's eyes narrowed a bit as he examined the couple.
He looked them both over for any signs of mischief. Undone buttons,
mussed hair. When he found nothing, he relaxed a bit and replied to
his sister's question. "Noin and I returned early to help you prepare
for the conference."

"The conference?" The memory came to her after a minute. "Oh yes!! The
conference. I had almost forgotten."

Her brother frowned. "It's not like you to forget something this
important, Relena."

"Well, I've been distracted lately." Relena's eyes darted to Heero, a
motion that did not go unnoticed.

Millardo's gaze darkened. "I can't imagine why."

Relena cleared her throat. "Thank you for reminding me. Now, if you'll
excuse us, Commander Yuy was just briefing me about the state of
security."

"And knowing Commander Yuy, I'm sure the briefing will be thorough."
Millardo backed up through the doors.

Her shoulders relaxed once the older man was gone. "Do you think he
suspects anything?"

Heero nodded. "Let him suspect. You're not a child anymore, Relena."

She raised an eyebrow. "I know. A child would definitely not be
thinking the thoughts about you that I'm thinking right now."

His arms encircled her body, pulling her in for a kiss. "Anything you
feel like sharing?"

Relena laughed. "You're a much nicer guy when you know you're going to
get laid."

"Speaking of that..." Heero's fingers cupped her breast. "How will we
know when we're not getting in over our heads?"

She thought for a long minute, hard to do with Heero gently kneading
her breast. "After the conference, there will be a ball. The night of
the ball.....everything will be perfect."

"Perfect." Heero's tongue traced the inside of her mouth. "I'm looking
forward to..."

"Incoming!!!" Duo Maxwell burst into the office, without warning.
Heero and Relena broke apart again; Heero's face melted into a scowl.
"Oh, don't look so happy to see me", Duo continued. "Hey...did I
interrupt something?"

"No", Relena sighed. "No, of course not. It's not like the door was
closed or anything."

"Oh wait..." Heero's voice was deadly. "It was."

"Sheesh....wrong side of the bed this morning?" Duo's smile was
wicked. "Or was it *not* waking up in bed that was the problem?"

Heero pointed to the door. "Out. Now."

"What did I do??"

"Out."

Sulking and muttering curses, Duo left the office, slamming the door
behind him to make his anger known. Alone again, Heero reached for
her. Their kiss was deep and passionate, but rather than fulfilling,
it left them both with an ache that would need to be filled soon.
Without knowing it, Heero began backing her up towards the couch. His
fingers worked her silk blouse out from her skirt.

"Heero...", she mumured as she felt the couch against the back of her
knees. "What happened to slow and steady?"

"It doesn't win the race." He ran his hands up her smooth back,
reaching for the clasp holding her brassiere together.

Relena leaned her head back when his tongue began to trace patterns on
her throat. "Is that what this is?" She pulled herself together enough
to push him away. "A race?"

Heero blinked and licked the corner of his mouth. "Um..." He searched
for the right answer. "No?"

"Are you answering or asking?"

There was a pause. "It's taken me four years to come to terms with
what I feel for you, Relena."

"And what do you feel for me?" She touched her lips. "Is it lust or
love?"

Heero's brow crinkled. "They're not the same?"

****

"So....she kicked you right out of the office, eh?"

"You make it sound much worse than it was. We had a slight difference
of opinion that resulted with me leaving to give her time to cool
down." Heero looked down at his beer bottle. "Yes, she kicked me out."

Duo bit his lip to keep from laughing out loud. "What did you do to
make her so mad?"

"Nothing", Heero insisted. "She told me was ready to..." He stopped.
"Why am I telling you this?"

"Because you know I'm the master when it comes to women."

Trowa Barton snorted into his rum and Coke. "Tread carefully, Heero.
You are talking to the man who tried to pick up girls at a Take Back
the Night rally."

"Cute." Duo flipped the taller man off. "Listen...you know I'm the
only one fit to give you this sort of advice. I mean, who else is
there? Trowa and Quatre don't even like girls. And Wufei thinks
they're inferior. You're stuck with me, Yuy. Deal with it."

Heero picked up his beer. "Why do I not feel confidant?"

"Let me put it this way." Duo took a swallow of his own beer. "I've
had sex. You have not."

"Hmph", Heero replied.

"That was a cheap shot", Quatre Raberba Winner reprimanded their
braided friend.

"Have you had sex?", Duo retorted. Quatre looked at Trowa and blushed
furiously. "Don't answer that." Duo turned back to Heero. "If you want
to get laid, first you have to worm your way back into her good
graces. That won't be too hard; the girl's crazy about you."

"So...I should..." Heero forced the unfamiliar word out of his mouth.
"...apologize?"

"Something like that, yeah."

Heero thought for several long minutes as he nursed his drink. "I can
do that."

"I don't know....are you sure? I mean, an apology takes a lot out of a
guy. All that groveling and begging....I don't think you can do it."
Duo's eyes lit up as a thought flashed across his brain. "Say....why
don't we put a little money on it?"

"You mean, like a bet?", Heero asked. Duo nodded. "No. I won't put
money on my relationship with Relena." Duo slumped back into his
chair. "However", Heero continued. "I will say that if I have
not...been with Relena by Christmas, I will..." He hesitated.

"You will wear a pair of her panties to the office and casually tell
Lady Une what you have on under your uniform", Duo supplied.

Trowa lifted an eyebrow. "You have way too much imagination for your
own good, Duo."

"Fine", Heero agreed, shocking them all. "But, if Relena and I *have*
had sex by Christmas, you will cut your hair."

Duo's jaw fell open. "Oh fuck no. No, no, no. You can mess with
anything else, Heero. You can make me stand in the middle of the
office, wearing nothing but Hilde's panties and a smile, but don't
mess with the hair!"

Heero smiled. A smile on Heero Yuy was a frightening thing. "The hair
will be cut or the bet's off." His friend sucked in a massive breath
and nodded reluctantly. "It's settled then. Now, it's time to do some
groveling." Leaving his beer, Heero left the bar.

Quatre shook his head. "Miss Relena will not like this if she finds
out."

"She won't find out." Duo grinned evily from behind his beer. "She
won't be having sex either. Not before Christmas anyways..."

Trowa took a long sip of his drink. "I don't know. We've all seen
Heero when he's determined. I think you had better start thinking
about what kind of new hairstyle you'd like."

"You don't think I can do something as simple as this?" Upon seeing
Trowa shrug, Duo gulped the last of his beer. "Care to make a wager on
that?"

"A bet within a bet. Kinky."

"Fifty dollars says I can keep the little lovebirds from getting
horizontal", Duo declared.

Trowa set his glass down. "A hundred dollars says you can't."

"Two hundred dollars says Miss Relena finds out and decides to join a
convent", Quatre sighed, picking up his tea cup.

"Then it's settled. Two hundred dollars." Duo jumped off his barstool
and tossed down a few dollars to cover the drinks. "Excuse me. I have
a relationship to thwart."

Quatre watched him leave the bar. "Do you think he can actually do
it?"

"I'm not sure", Trowa replied. "Want to make a bet?"

A fresh blush spread on the blond man's cheeks. "All right. If you
win, I'll sleep with you."

Trowa was interested. "Really? Not slumber sleep, but....*really*
sleep with me?" Quatre nodded. "What if I lose?"

Quatre smiled innocently. "I'll sleep with you as a consolation
prize."

"A win-win situation." Trowa brought Quatre's fingers up to his lips.
"I like it." He kissed one finger. "Let the games begin."

****

****

"Miss Relena. There's a delivery out here for you."

Relena Peacecraft looked up from a mountain of paperwork. Setting down
her pen, she sighed. Someone delivering more paperwork, most likely.
Wonderful.

"Please just bring it in, Jenny", she called to her secretary.

A minute passed before the younger, blond girl appeared in the
doorway, half hidden behind a massive bouquet of sterling roses.
"Um...Miss Relena...help?"

Relena jumped to her feet. The heady scent of roses filled the air.
She breathed deeply as she helped Jenny move the bouquet to an empty
coffee table on the other side of the room. "They're absolutely
gorgeous", she whispered.

"They're your favorite, aren't they, Miss Relena?"

"Yes." Relena touched one light purple petal. "They are. I didn't
think anyone else knew...." She stopped. One other person did know
what her favorite flower was. Relena groped under the bouquet until
her fingers touched the small, attached card. Her hands shook a bit as
she opened it and read.

**You have my apologies. Meet me for dinner. You know the place and
the time. Heero.**

"Who is it from, Miss Relena?" Jenny's eyes shone. "A secret admirer?"

"Not quite." Relena tucked the card back into its little envelope.
"What does my schedule look like tonight?"

Jenny ran for her desk planner. "Um...." She flipped a few pages.
"Your brother penciled in dinner at eight, but nothing before or after
that."

Relena ran the edge of the envelope against her lips. "Tell Millardo
I'll have dinner with him and Miss Noin another night. If he asks why,
tell him something urgent came up."

"Where will you be, Miss Relena?"

The Vice Foriegn Minister smiled dreamily. "I'll be at the wharf. Pier
46. Seven thirty sharp."

****

"Let me get this straight. You want me to ask Heero what his plans are
for the evening...in the greatest detail possible?" Chang Wufei leaned
back in his chair and twirled a pencil around his fingers.

Duo nodded. "Exactly. See, no big deal."

"What's in it for me?", Wufei asked.

"Um...the warm fuzzy feeling in your heart that is knowing you helped
a friend in need?" Catching Wufei's look, Duo amended his offer. "I'll
do your paperwork for a week."

Wufei tapped the pencil against his chin. "Two weeks. Dictations and
field notes included." Reluctantly, Duo nodded. "I suppose I could ask
him a few questions."

Duo grinned broadly. "I knew you wouldn't disappoint me, buddy!"

"Not that I'm worried or anything, but this isn't part of some plan
against Yuy that will backfire and end in physical pain, is it?"

The braided man made a scoffing noise. "Have a little faith in me."

Wufei snorted and picked up the report he had been working on.
"That'll be the day."

Duo watched as Wufei busied himself with his work. He fidgeted until
he could take it no longer. "What are you waiting for?? I need to know
now!!"

"I refuse to drop everything to do your bidding, Maxwell." Wufei's
eyes slanted.

"I'll do the paperwork for you...right now, if you'll just find out
what I need to know." Duo desperately reached for Wufei's files.

The Chinese man watched him with a careful eye. "Remind me again why
*you* can't ask him for the information yourself? And just why is it
so damn important, anyways?"

"I'm afraid that is classified."

"Yeah. Right." With a noiseless sigh, Wufei stood up. "I want all
these reports finished by the end of the day, Maxwell."

Duo flicked a salute. "You're a good man, Chang Wufei."

Grumbling under his breath, Wufei made his way down the hallway to
Heero's private office. As Chief of Security for Relena's
administration, Heero enjoyed such perks as a private office, while
Wufei and Duo made do with cubicles in the main office. Wufei knocked
on the door, but instead of waiting for a reply, opened the door.

Heero was at his desk, talking to his communicator. "...don't forget
to bring out the necklace when you bring dessert. Chocolate cheesecake
with strawberry sauce. Not raspberry, strawberry. That's very
important."

"Big plans tonight?", Wufei casually asked.

The other man looked up, then looked back at the screen. "Thank you
for your help." He turned the communicator off. "Is there something
you wanted?"

Wufei raised his shoulders. "Just...um...making conversation."

Heero gave him a wary look. "All right..."

"So..." Wufei walked further into the office. "You're taking your
woman out tonight?"

"Yes." Without elaborating, Heero picked up a file from his desk and
opened it.

Wufei was about to give up, but something made him press further. It
wasn't guilt for the fact that Duo was doing his paperwork in addition
to his own. Taking a breath, Wufei continued. "Where are you taking
her?" When Heero gave him a strange look, he hastily added, "I've been
thinking about asking that woman out and I'm looking for ideas about
where to take her."

Heero shook his head, amused. *That woman* was Sally Po, chief of the
Preventer medical division. The animosity between her and Wufei was
legendary; the sexual tension, unprecedented. Heero sighed and gave
in, if only for Sally's sake. Left on his own, Wufei would probably
take her to a fencing match for their first date. "I'm taking Relena
out to dinner at the restaurant we went to on our first date."

"And where is that? The restaurant."

"It's a little seafood place called Bridget's on a pier down at the
wharf." His face softened. "Relena loves seafood."

Wufei rolled his eyes, but managed to maintain his pretense of
interest. "What pier is that? It sounds like a place that woman would
like."

"Um...forty-six", Heero replied. "We meet at seven thirty because
that's the time we both arrived at the restaurant, even though we had
agreed to meet at eight." A hint of a smile played on his lips. "We
both couldn't wait until eight."

"What about after dinner? Any special plans?" Wufei's tone was more
suggestive than he intended.

Heero shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Nothing *too* special. I
thought we'd go back to my place, have a drink..." He trailed off.

Wufei caught on. "I get it. Well...." He took a step backwards. "I
have paperwork waiting." *And a stupid man doing it for me.*

The other man nodded in reply. Wufei closed the door to Heero's
office. Duo was waiting in the hallway. "Well??", he asked
impatiently.

"You can't possibly be done with all that work, Maxwell."

Duo made a face. "Keep your boxers on...I'm taking care of it. Now
tell me what Heero said." Wufei repeated Heero and Relena's plans for
the evening, including the bit he had heard about jewelery and
cheesecake. When he was through, Duo's face spread into a wicked grin.
"Excellent."

Wufei recognized the look as one that Duo had when he played practical
jokes. "I think it's time you told me what's going on around here."

"Nothing's going on", Duo replied, far too innocently.

"So...you wouldn't mind me mentioning to Heero that you were very
interested in his plans for the evening?"

"Don't do that!!" Duo calmed himself. "Tell you what...how would you
like to make a quick fifty dollars?"

Wufei raised an eyebrow. "What do I have to do?"

"Never, *ever* mention any of this to Heero...for any reason. And be
prepared to do more spying in the future." Duo held out his hand.
"Deal?"

Their handshake was awkward, but Wufei agreed. Fifty dollars was fifty
dollars, loyalties or not. Grinning, Duo practically skipped down the
hallway to finish Wufei's paperwork. Wufei shook his head. "Why do I
feel like I just sold my soul to the devil?"

"There is no devil", a voice behind him said. Trowa stepped out from
the shadows. "How would you like to make a hundred dollars on top of
Duo's fifty?"

Wufei crossed his arms over his chest. "And what would I have to do
for *that* money?"

"Call Heero tonight around eleven. Ask him how his evening was. If he
replies at all negatively, casually mention Duo's name somehow in
connection, but don't make it too obvious. Agreed?"

"Agreed", Wufei answered without hesitation. "On the condition that
someone tells me what the hell is going on."

"Don't worry." Trowa slipped back into the shadows. "All will be
revealed at the proper time."

Wufei stood in the hallway for a long minute. "They're all
unjustifiably insane."

****

"Yes...my name is Heero Yuy. I have a seven thirty reservation for
tonight."

"Of course, Mr. Yuy. Is there something I can do for you?"

Duo smiled back at the hostess. "I made some special arrangements for
tonight, including dessert."

The woman on the screen looked down at her books. "Yes. Chocolate
cheesecake with strawberry sauce, right?"

"Well...no. See, I made a mistake. I do want the raspberry", Duo told
her. "My girlfriend hates strawberries."

"Ah, I see. I'll definitely change the order then. Chocolate
cheesecake with *raspberry* sauce."

Duo grinned again. "Thank you so much."

"You're very welcome, Mr. Yuy. We'll see you at seven thirty." The
communicator screen blanked out and Duo began laughing.

"That's for messing with the hair!", he announced.

"Duo?" His longtime girlfriend, Hilde Schbeiker, appeared from the
living room of their apartment. "Who's messing with your hair?"

He jumped to his feet. "You could if you wanted to make me a very
happy man."

Hilde pursed her lips. "I don't know...have you been a good boy
today?"

"No", he replied honestly. "I've actually been very naughty. But it's
for a good cause."

"Hmm...as long as you don't get into any kind of trouble, I guess I
don't mind if you're a little bad." She wrapped her arms around his
neck and gave him a long kiss.

Duo kissed his way over to her ear. "Hey babe....how would you like to
go out tonight? Heero's told me about this great seafood
restaurant..."

****

****

Heero arrived at the restaurant five minutes early. He wanted to be
the first thing Relena saw when she stepped out of her limousine.
Although they had not spoken since their fight earlier in the day, she
had not refused the invitation or sent the flowers back, crushed and
stepped on.

He supposed that was a good sign.

Nervously, he tugged on his tie with his free hand. The damnable
article of clothing was choking him. Before he quite knew it, he had
ripped it off. He undid a button on his shirt and stuffed the tie into
his jacket pocket just in the nick of time. Relena's limousine
appeared at the other end of the pier. A man got out and opened
Relena's door, allowing the Vice Foriegn Minister to step out.

His palms were sweating. She was wearing the same outfit she had worn
nearly a year earlier on their very first date. An ankle-length floral
print skirt with a slit up to the middle of her thigh and a clingy,
nearly see-through silk top. Her long hair was down around her
shoulders; her face lit up upon seeing him.

Relena held her breath, but could not hold back her smile. He was too
adorable, waiting patiently with a single sterling rose in his hand.
She briefly wondered if perhaps he had been trained for this, the art
of romance. It seemed to be one more thing he was perfect at. She
signaled to her driver that he was free to leave and started down the
pier.

"Here." Heero held out the rose when she reached him. "One more."

She took the flower and lifted it to her nose. "Thank you, Heero. As
if the ones you sent earlier weren't lovely enough."

He reached for her hand. "I meant what I said in the card. You have my
apologies for this morning."

"Forgiven, forgotten." She squeezed his fingers lightly.

"Come on", he said, gently pulling her towards the restaurant. "Our
table is waiting."

"What other surprises do you have up your sleeve for tonight, Heero?"

Heero shrugged. "I suppose you'll have to stay through dessert to find
out."

****

"Come on!!! We're late!!!!"

"Cool your jets", Hilde mumbled around her lipstick tube. "We're not
late for anything. They'll still have food when we get there."

Duo looked down the pier then back at his watch. It was nearly eight
thirty. "You don't understand, Hilde. We need to get inside now!!"

"Okay...." Hilde threw her lipstick back into her handbag. "What has
gotten into you? First you offer to take me out to a restaurant that
doesn't have a drive-thru and now you're acting like if we don't get
there in the next two seconds, you'll implode. Duo...this is strange
even for you."

"I'm just starving!" Not a total lie; he was always hungry. "Are you
done, babe? Cause I thought you looked good before you started
fiddling with that stuff."

Hilde smiled, kissed his nose and wiped away the lipstick residue.
"You are adorable. Let's go; I'm kind of hungry, too."

When they reached the restaurant, Duo held the door open for her. The
maitre'd greeted them warmly. "Good evening. Table for two?"

Duo's eyes scanned the restaurant, eventually finding what he was
looking for. Heero and Relena were tucked into a small, private corner
of the main dining room. It looked as though they were just finishing
their salad. "Yes, two", he replied. "Can you please seat us over
there?" He pointed to a table that was well out Heero's range.

"This is lovely, Duo", Hilde commented as they followed a waiter to
their table. She took a seat facing Heero and Relena.

He fidgeted. "Um...babe....can I have your seat?" It would not do for
Heero to glance their way and catch sight of his unmistakable hair.

She gave him a puzzled look, but slipped over to the other side of the
table. The waiter handed them menus and left. Hilde's blue eyes pored
over her menu. "Everything looks wonderful, Duo. Oh look...they have
lobster."

"Yeah...lobster." Duo peered over his girlfriend's shoulder, intent on
the couple across the room. A busboy was clearing away their salad
plates as a waiter set the main course in front of them. He grinned.
Only one more course until dessert...

****

"I don't know. It's obvious that the orphanage program is important,
but I feel like being chairman of the committee is too
time-consuming." Relena sipped her wine. "Do you think I'm stretching
myself too thin?"

Heero set down his fork. "You've realized what the rest of us have
known for a long time. There are only twenty-four hours in any given
day and you can't spend all twenty-four of them worrying about
everyone else in the entire world."

She smiled. "I'll take that as a 'yes'. And I'll be telling the
committee that they need to find a new chairperson in the morning.
They'll still have my support, but not as much of my time."

"What new project will you be taking on to make up for it?"

"You know me too well", she laughed. Her eyes sparkled in the
candlelight. "Who knows? Maybe you'll be my new project..."

He lifted his own glass of wine. "I'm not sure if I like being thought
of as a project."

"Oh...you'll like what I have in mind", Relena assured him. Her tone
was unbearably intimate. Heero fought to keep his libido suppressed.
He cleared his throat as a waiter appeared.

"Are you ready for dessert, Mr. Yuy?", the man asked.

Heero looked at Relena; she nodded slightly. "I think we are." The
waiter left and a busboy began clearing away their dinner plates.

"What did you order for dessert?", she asked hungrily. *Please let it
be chocolate...*

He leaned forward. "How does chocolate cheesecake with strawberries
sound?"

"Heavenly." Relena tilted her head to the side and studied him.
"Whatever's gotten into you, I really like it."

The waiter came back with a dessert tray. On it was a chilled plate
with a generous slice of a very rich cheesecake, swirled throughout
with chocolate. A thick, red sauce topped the dessert, sliding down
the sides. Next to the plate lay a long, velvet box. Heero reached for
it.

"When I saw this, I thought of you." He pushed it into her hands.

Relena's eyes were misty as she opened the jeweler's box and lifted
out a delicate gold necklace. A small heart hung from the chain. "Oh
Heero....it's so beautiful."

He stood up and walked behind her chair. Taking the necklace from her,
he opened the clasp and fastened it around her slender neck. "It's
better than a teddy bear, anyways."

"Don't you dare." Relena lightly slapped his hand. "I love that bear."

Heero sat back down. "It looks good on you."

She touched the locket. "Thank you so much, Heero."

The waiter set the plate of dessert between the two of them and handed
them each a fork. "Enjoy."

After the waiter left, Relena forked up a bite of the cheescake.
"Mmm...heavenly was right. This is incredible." She scooped up another
bite and held it out. "Try it."

His lips closed around the fork, but he barely tasted anything. He was
too intent on watching her face. It was only after he swallowed that
he noticed what he was eating. "Um...Relena. Does that sauce taste
like strawberries to you?"

She looked at the plate. "No, come to think of it. I think it's..."
She licked her fork. "Raspberry."

Heero's face became pale. "Raspberry? But....I asked for
strawberry...."

Relena's forehead crinkled. "It's all right, Heero. They must have
misunderstood. I like raspberries, too, I promise."

"No, you don't understand..." Heero swallowed heavily. "I'm...allergic
to raspberries."

****

Hilde sighed dramatically. "This has been such a perfect evening, Duo.
Why haven't you taken me here before?"

Duo forced his eyes away from the far corner of the room. "Um...cause
Heero just told me about it, babe." He looked back to see Heero
jumping to his feet. Relena stood up as well and put her hand on his
shoulder. Their conversation was rapid and worried. He looked at the
abandoned dessert tray and could barely hold back his evil grin. He
returned his attention to his dinner, thoroughly satsified with
himself.

"Speaking of Heero..." Hilde glanced up from her soup. "Isn't that him
and Relena running out the door?"

His head swung around to see the couple making a hasty exit. "Gee...I
hope it wasn't something he ate."

"God, like raspberries. Remember the time I made those muffins and
forgot to tell him what was in them? He had a rash for two days and
he's not eaten anything I've ever made since then." Hilde shook her
head.

Duo bit the insides of his cheeks, desperately trying not to burst out
laughing. "Eh...it didn't kill him. Didn't even really hurt him. Just
made him *really* uncomfortable for a few days."

"Well.." Hilde lifted her spoon to her lips. "If they had a romantic
evening planned, I'd say that's definitely off."

This time, nothing could stop Duo from laughing.

****

"Am I all red yet?"

Relena chewed on her lower lip as she tried to plan out a tactful
answer. "Not completely", she finally replied.

Heero scowled. "Give me a few minutes."

"Oh, Heero." Relena sighed. "How come you never told me you were
allergic to raspberries?"

"It didn't seem..." He searched for the right word. "...masculine."

Despite the situation, she laughed. "Silly." She planted a light kiss
on his lips. "You only had one bite. Maybe it'll go away in a few
hours. I can wait..."

Heero shook his head. "You don't grasp the severity of my allergy.
I'll be this way for days." He looked at his arms. "Red and..."

"Splotchy", she finished. "But not contagious, right?" Her fingers
trailed along his arm, suggestively.

"Relena, my memories of our first time should not include calomine
lotion." He covered her hand and moved it away. "We're going to have
to put this on hold."

Sighing again, Relena nodded. "Can I at least help you put on the
lotion?"

As much as he wanted to say yes, Heero shook his head once more. "If
you do, I won't be able to stop myself."

"So, this is goodnight?" Relena's expression was one of
disappointment, but understanding. She gently kissed him. "I'll let
myself out and call a cab."

"Relena", Heero called out when she reached the door to his apartment.
"You're one in a million."

"Try to get some sleep and call in to work tomorrow. I'll be calling
to check up on you." She blew him a kiss and closed the door behind
her.

Punching the couch cushion, Heero stood up and went in search of some
calomine lotion. When he had the pale pink bottle, he flopped back
onto the couch. His skin was a brighter shade of red; he cursed out
loud.

Just as his hands were full of the pink lotion, the communicator
beeped. Wiping the excess onto his itching arms, he punched up the
call. "Make it quick", he told the person before he even saw who it
was.

Wufei blinked up seeing Heero in various shades of red and pink. "Need
I even ask how your evening was?"

Heero's eyes were murderous. "I'm covered in a rash, spreading pink
lotion onto my entire body. And to top it all off, I'm alone at eleven
on a Friday night after a big date. How do you think things went?" He
softened. "It was great until dessert."

"That's too bad." Wufei paused as something clicked in his brain.
Dessert.... "Duo was so sure you'd have a good time."

"What did you say?" Heero's tone was cool and deadly.

Wufei continued, almost gleefully. "Oh, Duo just mentioned that you
were looking forward to the date. Something about dessert being your
favorite thing in the whole world." He shrugged. "You know Duo."

"Oh yes. I know Duo. But even I underestimate him...." Heero looked
down at his arms. "Wufei...if I were ever on trial for murder, would
you testify on my behalf?"

"I suppose it would depend on who you murdered." Wufei gave a half
smile. "Take care of that rash." The communicator became blank.

Heero stood up in the middle of his apartment, ignoring the urge to
scratch every inch of his skin. "So....it's a war you want, Duo." His
fists clentched. "Then it's a war you're going to get...."

****

To Be Continued