Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Ultimate Sacrifice ❯ Part 2 ( Chapter 2 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Karen from KanaDUH 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Hentai / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.16.2002 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 696 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Hentai / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.16.2002 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 696 | Status: Work In Progress
Warnings: yaoi, angst, AU, alternating POV's
Pairing:1x2, 1+R (nothing romantic though), implied 3+4
Disclaimer: Would I still be working if I owned GW?
Archive: GW on the Sanctuary Anywhere else, please ask first. Feedback: Send comments, good and bad, to lady_yaoi @ hotmail.com (remove spaces)
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AC 197
[Duo POV]
It's over. The war that has consumed us for two years is finally over. And, so I fear, is something else. Something more precious to me than my own life.
What could mean more to me than my own life? The exhausted, injured boy I'm holding in my arms - Heero Yuy. The shining light in my otherwise dark existence.
Ever since the last time I was captured by OZ, and worked over by some over-enthusiastic guards, there's been a change in Heero. Where he would ignore my obvious flirtations, he started responding to them. Where he would tell me shut up, he listened. When he called me 'baka' it was no longer with the scorn and annoyance I've grown so used to hearing. It's like the word became his pet name for me, a term of endearment only he could use. I wondered what had changed, what I'd done or not done to bring about this change in Heero.
One quiet sunny day I found out. With a smile I'd never seen grace his face before, Heero told me felt something for me. He didn't know what to call it - given his limited experience with emotions, I wasn't surprised. But I didn't care; I'd willingly, gladly, accept and cherish anything he felt for me. Staring into the endless cobalt-colored pools of his eyes, I felt like God had finally heard my prayers. At that moment, I didn't think life could get any better.
I was wrong. I've never been so glad in all my life to be wrong. When Heero drew me into his arms, I forgot how to breath. When he shyly brushed his lips against mine, I forgot how to think. And when he deepened the kiss, pulling me tighter against his hard body, my heart forgot how to beat.
Sister Helen once told me that when I met the person who God had destined as my soul mate, my soul would tell me so. Right then, wrapped in Heero's arms, our tongues dancing against one another, it felt like my soul was fairly screaming at me.
Later that same day, alone in the room we shared, we made love. There is truly nothing in the world, in the universe, that can describe the feeling of such an intimate act when love is involved. As a prostitute I'd had sex, but I'd never 'made love' before. Snuggled up beside my lover, basking in the afterglow of the most intense orgasm I'd ever had to date, I knew my heart and soul was lost to the Perfect Soldier. I promised myself that for as long as I lived, I'd do anything, everything, to bring happiness and joy to his life, even at the expense of my own.
My vow is six months old now... and I still mean it. I never lie, not even to myself.
Relena rushes up to us, a medical team following close behind. Her worried eyes meet mine, and I do my best to reassure her Heero is not terribly injured. She loves him; you can see it in the way she tenderly takes his hand in hers and gently touches is face.
The medical team shoos us both away so they can work on Heero. I take the opportunity to observe Relena more carefully, solidifying my assumptions and the vague plan that's been half formed in my head for a few weeks now.
Over the course of the last few weeks, Heero has been meeting with Relena. Not secretively, as he might have done if he were fooling around on me, but openly. Relena has always been a very important piece of the peace puzzle, as we Gundam pilots have been. It made sense for the two of them to plan, strategorize, whatever. I accompanied Heero the last time they met, 3 weeks ago, and almost wish I hadn't.
I don't know when he stopped despising her and started treating Relena like a human being, but it was clear by the way he spoke to her, smiled at her, appeared generally at ease and comfortable in her presence that he had. It was then I noticed how well he would fit into her world, how well she'd fit into his life blunting the harsh edges he'd developed through years of training with Doc J and war. The boy of war and the girl of peace. A perfect compliment and balance to each other.
I realized Heero deserves more than I could give him. I mean face it, what could an orphaned, ex-thief, ex-prostitute, war veteran possibly give Heero? His whole life had been filled with violence, like mine, so why should he spend the rest of his life with that reminder? Relena... Relena is the better person for him. She's not just a symbol for peace, she _is_ peace. The horrors of war... death... endless struggle... hasn't invaded her soul like it is mine. Relena's clean, untainted soul is what Heero deserves... no, needs. Her light, her goodness can, and will, wash the horrors from him. And she loves him. Gawd, that hurts to admit... but she does.
I do too. But I can offer him nothing besides that. I used to think that love was enough; for me it is, but for Heero... What would his life be like with me? Seriously, think on that. My only real skills are piloting a Gundam and stealing. I have no concrete plans for what to do with myself now that the war is over. Oh sure, I have the pie-in-the-sky plans - the ones where Heero and I shuttle off to the stars, or plant ourselves on a tropical beach... those plans may have got me through the war, but they're not for real.
So I must keep my promise.
--------------------
It's been a week now since the war officially ended. You sure couldn't tell by the flurry of activity around Sanc though. I suspect 'clean up operations' will take another month at least.
Quatre was also injured in our final battle, worse than Heero who escaped with minor cuts and scrapes. Us Gundam pilots, minus Heero who's been working closely with Relena, have taken turns sitting by Quatre's bedside keeping his spirits up. Not that he needs anyone other than Trowa when it comes right down to it. But Blondie is my second best friend so where else would I be? It's not like Heero's been around a whole lot.
'k, that sounds bitchier than I intended. Blame it on lack of sleep, but it's the truth. For the last week, Heero and Relena have been meeting with the loosely formed ruling council determining what needs to be done, or not done as the case may be. He doesn't get back to our suite until the wee small hours of the morning, and he's gone again after a few short hours of sleep. He's exhausted, but I know how important all this is to him. So I bite my tongue and say nothing. At least I can curl up beside him and enjoy a few precious hours holding him close, even if he's hardly aware of my presence.
And working closely with Relena will, I hope, strengthen whatever bond is forming between them. I hope Heero will grow to love her as much as I love him. I mean that, at least in my head; my heart continues to scream out its denial of that statement.
----------------------
End of the week, and Heero is finally taking a break. Here, in our room, in my arms... oh God I love him, love what he does to me, how he makes me feel.
Our lovemaking is act of desperate passion. I vow to re-memorize everything about my lover this night... our last night. The way his soft lips feel against mine... his hands running through the unbraided waterfall of my hair... the way the calluses on his hands set my skin a-tingle when they brush over my flat stomach... the soft wetness of his tongue licking at my neck then drifting downwards to lap delicately at my nipples... the explosion of pleasure the merest touch of his arousal against mine sets off... the glorious feeling of togetherness when he thrusts into me... the ultimate oneness of our souls when we climax together. Every sensation, every touch, I commit to memory.
Laying nestled in the arms of my one true love, my face pressing into his neck, my arms and legs twined with his, I don't want to leave... ever. But I know I must - for his ultimate happiness requires the ultimate sacrifice on my part. What's that saying? 'If you love something set it free...' I have to set Heero free. I don't want to... I need him so much.
Heero places a light kiss on the top of my head; a small, satisfied smile graces his lips as he pulls me closer. "I love you, Heero," I whisper. There's no reply, there never is. This is also why I must leave. His actions seem to say he loves me, but that's probably just a misinterpretation on my part. There are never any words to confirm his love for me.
It doesn't take long for Heero to fall asleep. I don't... I can't. If I don't leave tonight I know I'll never will. I feel a chill when I gently snake my way out of Heero's arms and bed. Is it the chill from the room or the ice forming around my heart that I'm feeling? I dress quickly, quietly stuffing my meager possessions into the worn duffel bag I fell to Earth with two years ago. A quick note to Relena, entrusting Heero to her, is my second to last act before leaving. My last act is to unclasp the chain around my neck and place it around Heero's. The gold cross glitters warmly against his almond skin; I have to resist the urge to run my fingers through the tousled hair framing his face. He's so beautiful it breaks my heart. Goodbye Heero... I love you... forever... always...
Slipping quietly out the door to our suite, I glide silently down the hall towards Relena's room. A flip of my wrist ensures the note I wrote is well under her door and not likely to be missed. Unlike me, who I'm sure no-one will really miss in the end.
The few servants still up at this late, early?, hour pay me no notice as I leave the estate. The clang of the huge gates behind me, the ones at the end of the long driveway, shatters the last of my control and I give in to the anguish and despair I'm feeling. Death, I'm convinced, would be less painful than this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TBC
Pairing:1x2, 1+R (nothing romantic though), implied 3+4
Disclaimer: Would I still be working if I owned GW?
Archive: GW on the Sanctuary Anywhere else, please ask first. Feedback: Send comments, good and bad, to lady_yaoi @ hotmail.com (remove spaces)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ultimate Sacrifice
AC 197
[Duo POV]
It's over. The war that has consumed us for two years is finally over. And, so I fear, is something else. Something more precious to me than my own life.
What could mean more to me than my own life? The exhausted, injured boy I'm holding in my arms - Heero Yuy. The shining light in my otherwise dark existence.
Ever since the last time I was captured by OZ, and worked over by some over-enthusiastic guards, there's been a change in Heero. Where he would ignore my obvious flirtations, he started responding to them. Where he would tell me shut up, he listened. When he called me 'baka' it was no longer with the scorn and annoyance I've grown so used to hearing. It's like the word became his pet name for me, a term of endearment only he could use. I wondered what had changed, what I'd done or not done to bring about this change in Heero.
One quiet sunny day I found out. With a smile I'd never seen grace his face before, Heero told me felt something for me. He didn't know what to call it - given his limited experience with emotions, I wasn't surprised. But I didn't care; I'd willingly, gladly, accept and cherish anything he felt for me. Staring into the endless cobalt-colored pools of his eyes, I felt like God had finally heard my prayers. At that moment, I didn't think life could get any better.
I was wrong. I've never been so glad in all my life to be wrong. When Heero drew me into his arms, I forgot how to breath. When he shyly brushed his lips against mine, I forgot how to think. And when he deepened the kiss, pulling me tighter against his hard body, my heart forgot how to beat.
Sister Helen once told me that when I met the person who God had destined as my soul mate, my soul would tell me so. Right then, wrapped in Heero's arms, our tongues dancing against one another, it felt like my soul was fairly screaming at me.
Later that same day, alone in the room we shared, we made love. There is truly nothing in the world, in the universe, that can describe the feeling of such an intimate act when love is involved. As a prostitute I'd had sex, but I'd never 'made love' before. Snuggled up beside my lover, basking in the afterglow of the most intense orgasm I'd ever had to date, I knew my heart and soul was lost to the Perfect Soldier. I promised myself that for as long as I lived, I'd do anything, everything, to bring happiness and joy to his life, even at the expense of my own.
My vow is six months old now... and I still mean it. I never lie, not even to myself.
Relena rushes up to us, a medical team following close behind. Her worried eyes meet mine, and I do my best to reassure her Heero is not terribly injured. She loves him; you can see it in the way she tenderly takes his hand in hers and gently touches is face.
The medical team shoos us both away so they can work on Heero. I take the opportunity to observe Relena more carefully, solidifying my assumptions and the vague plan that's been half formed in my head for a few weeks now.
Over the course of the last few weeks, Heero has been meeting with Relena. Not secretively, as he might have done if he were fooling around on me, but openly. Relena has always been a very important piece of the peace puzzle, as we Gundam pilots have been. It made sense for the two of them to plan, strategorize, whatever. I accompanied Heero the last time they met, 3 weeks ago, and almost wish I hadn't.
I don't know when he stopped despising her and started treating Relena like a human being, but it was clear by the way he spoke to her, smiled at her, appeared generally at ease and comfortable in her presence that he had. It was then I noticed how well he would fit into her world, how well she'd fit into his life blunting the harsh edges he'd developed through years of training with Doc J and war. The boy of war and the girl of peace. A perfect compliment and balance to each other.
I realized Heero deserves more than I could give him. I mean face it, what could an orphaned, ex-thief, ex-prostitute, war veteran possibly give Heero? His whole life had been filled with violence, like mine, so why should he spend the rest of his life with that reminder? Relena... Relena is the better person for him. She's not just a symbol for peace, she _is_ peace. The horrors of war... death... endless struggle... hasn't invaded her soul like it is mine. Relena's clean, untainted soul is what Heero deserves... no, needs. Her light, her goodness can, and will, wash the horrors from him. And she loves him. Gawd, that hurts to admit... but she does.
I do too. But I can offer him nothing besides that. I used to think that love was enough; for me it is, but for Heero... What would his life be like with me? Seriously, think on that. My only real skills are piloting a Gundam and stealing. I have no concrete plans for what to do with myself now that the war is over. Oh sure, I have the pie-in-the-sky plans - the ones where Heero and I shuttle off to the stars, or plant ourselves on a tropical beach... those plans may have got me through the war, but they're not for real.
So I must keep my promise.
--------------------
It's been a week now since the war officially ended. You sure couldn't tell by the flurry of activity around Sanc though. I suspect 'clean up operations' will take another month at least.
Quatre was also injured in our final battle, worse than Heero who escaped with minor cuts and scrapes. Us Gundam pilots, minus Heero who's been working closely with Relena, have taken turns sitting by Quatre's bedside keeping his spirits up. Not that he needs anyone other than Trowa when it comes right down to it. But Blondie is my second best friend so where else would I be? It's not like Heero's been around a whole lot.
'k, that sounds bitchier than I intended. Blame it on lack of sleep, but it's the truth. For the last week, Heero and Relena have been meeting with the loosely formed ruling council determining what needs to be done, or not done as the case may be. He doesn't get back to our suite until the wee small hours of the morning, and he's gone again after a few short hours of sleep. He's exhausted, but I know how important all this is to him. So I bite my tongue and say nothing. At least I can curl up beside him and enjoy a few precious hours holding him close, even if he's hardly aware of my presence.
And working closely with Relena will, I hope, strengthen whatever bond is forming between them. I hope Heero will grow to love her as much as I love him. I mean that, at least in my head; my heart continues to scream out its denial of that statement.
----------------------
End of the week, and Heero is finally taking a break. Here, in our room, in my arms... oh God I love him, love what he does to me, how he makes me feel.
Our lovemaking is act of desperate passion. I vow to re-memorize everything about my lover this night... our last night. The way his soft lips feel against mine... his hands running through the unbraided waterfall of my hair... the way the calluses on his hands set my skin a-tingle when they brush over my flat stomach... the soft wetness of his tongue licking at my neck then drifting downwards to lap delicately at my nipples... the explosion of pleasure the merest touch of his arousal against mine sets off... the glorious feeling of togetherness when he thrusts into me... the ultimate oneness of our souls when we climax together. Every sensation, every touch, I commit to memory.
Laying nestled in the arms of my one true love, my face pressing into his neck, my arms and legs twined with his, I don't want to leave... ever. But I know I must - for his ultimate happiness requires the ultimate sacrifice on my part. What's that saying? 'If you love something set it free...' I have to set Heero free. I don't want to... I need him so much.
Heero places a light kiss on the top of my head; a small, satisfied smile graces his lips as he pulls me closer. "I love you, Heero," I whisper. There's no reply, there never is. This is also why I must leave. His actions seem to say he loves me, but that's probably just a misinterpretation on my part. There are never any words to confirm his love for me.
It doesn't take long for Heero to fall asleep. I don't... I can't. If I don't leave tonight I know I'll never will. I feel a chill when I gently snake my way out of Heero's arms and bed. Is it the chill from the room or the ice forming around my heart that I'm feeling? I dress quickly, quietly stuffing my meager possessions into the worn duffel bag I fell to Earth with two years ago. A quick note to Relena, entrusting Heero to her, is my second to last act before leaving. My last act is to unclasp the chain around my neck and place it around Heero's. The gold cross glitters warmly against his almond skin; I have to resist the urge to run my fingers through the tousled hair framing his face. He's so beautiful it breaks my heart. Goodbye Heero... I love you... forever... always...
Slipping quietly out the door to our suite, I glide silently down the hall towards Relena's room. A flip of my wrist ensures the note I wrote is well under her door and not likely to be missed. Unlike me, who I'm sure no-one will really miss in the end.
The few servants still up at this late, early?, hour pay me no notice as I leave the estate. The clang of the huge gates behind me, the ones at the end of the long driveway, shatters the last of my control and I give in to the anguish and despair I'm feeling. Death, I'm convinced, would be less painful than this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TBC