Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Ultimate Sacrifice ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Karen from KanaDUH 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Hentai / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.12.2002 | Updated On: 07.14.2002 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 798 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Hentai / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.12.2002 | Updated On: 07.14.2002 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 798 | Status: Work In Progress
Warnings: yaoi, angst, AU, alternating POV's
Pairing:1x2, 1+R (nothing romantic though), implied 3+4
Disclaimer: Would I still be working if I owned GW?
Archive: GW on the Sanctuary Anywhere else, please ask first. Feedback: Send comments, good and bad, to lady_yaoi @ hotmail.com (remove spaces)
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AC 196
[Heero POV]
"I think we got to him in time. He'll be okay."
Sally's words acted like a balm upon my heart. Breath I didn't know I'd been holding whooshed out of my lungs and I sagged against the bed. The bed that held a broken and bruised Deathscythe pilot. Looking down at him, I felt my heart constrict again. He looked like shit - who wouldn't after being tossed in an OZ prison for 3 days - but it was nothing I hadn't seen before. Why was it affecting me so differently this time?
"You're sure?" Quatre's soft voice pierced through my thoughts.
Sally didn't need to say anything. Her eyes said what her voice could not... 'I hope so'.
It felt like a fist was squeezing my heart now, and I found it increasingly difficult to draw a full breath. Dammit, what hell was wrong with me? What is this I'm feeling? Helplessness? Is that what it is? Why, dammit!
Suddenly, I felt the overwhelming need to be out of that room. Away from the broken body of my friend… away from the house… away from myself. If I ran far enough and fast enough, I could leave this strange pain behind. Right?
When I finally collapsed, out of exhaustion I'm sure, I found myself in a small park. Where, I couldn't say. All I knew for certain was the pain in my heart was still there.
It was, ironically, Relena who found me sitting in that mystery park. She'd been present at the safe house when Wufei'd brought Duo back. And I say ironically because the conversation that followed her arrival was one I never thought I'd have with her. Ya, even the Perfect Soldier can engage in conversation sometimes... when the circumstances are right.
"You want to tell me what that was all about?"
I didn't bother to look at Relena, or ask her what 'that' was. I hoped my silence would make her go away.
"Something's going on inside you, Heero. You need to talk to someone."
Silence wasn't working so how 'bout short answers. "Hn."
"I'll assume that was a 'no'. No to me, or no to talking in general?" I risked a quick glance at the persistant girl sitting next to me. Something about the expression on her face, the determined set to her jaw maybe, made me realize she was not going to leave me alone.
"Ah, I see. That would be a no in general," Relena stood, and I hoped it meant she was leaving me alone. No such luck; she sat right back down, this time in front of me. "Well, tough. Something has upset you and you need to talk to someone."
"Omae o korosu."
"Death threat me all you want, Heero, but I'm not leaving until you tell me why you ran from Duo's bedside." I tried not to flinch as her small hand touched my arm. "I can't stand to see you in pain, Heero. I care about you."
'I care about you.' Duo had said those words to me too. 'It's what friends do - care for each other.' Duo was my friend... did this make Relena my friend too? Friends talked to one another didn't they? At least, that's what Duo told me, and tried to get me to do on numerous occasions. Sometimes I did... sometimes I didn't. Did I want to right now? A gentle nudge from my heart told me yes, I needed to... even if it was Relena.
"Why'd you run away, Heero?"
"I... don't know."
A soft hand brushed my cheek, gently prodding me to look up. "I think you do." Clear blue eyes, in a face framed by honey-colored hair, stared at me and tried to read the swirl of emotions I'm sure was residing in my eyes.
"No, I don't. I don't understand what... I'm... feeling." I felt my hand rub against my chest, like it could magically ease the constricted feeling still around my heart.
"It's called love."
Love? Wasn't love supposed to feeling giddy? Joyous? I said as much to Relena, earning me a small sad smile.
"Most times, yes." Her hand dropped from my face to rest in her lap as she drew back slightly from me. "But not always. When you love someone, you feel their pain, disappointment, sadness. And when they're hurt as badly as Duo is, you feel more than that. Helplessness, deep sorrow, anger... at yourself for not being there or doing something to prevent it."
Helplessness... anger... love. Do I love Duo? As a friend, yes I suppose I do.
"It's more than that, Heero."
My head jerked upwards. Did I say that out loud? I felt a glare form before I could stop it.
"Search your heart. You're in love with Duo, you have been for a while," she blew a loose strand of hair from her face, and I had to wonder why Relena was saying this to me. After all, isn't she the girl who's been following me around like a lovesick puppy since the day I met her?
She looked at me with overly bright eyes and I realized she was bravely trying not to cry. Knowing how she feels about me, this has to be one of the hardest conversations she's ever had. "I know... I know I won't ever matter to you the same way Duo does. I understand that now. Duo, he has claim to part of you I can never hope to have... never stand a chance of getting. And... and I only want your happiness. Let me help you, please, as a friend."
Help me. Could she really help me? "How?" I asked.
"Talk to me. Let me help you understand what you're feeling."
The sun set and rose before we finally stopped talking, before she fell asleep trying to help me understand the maelstrom of emotions cascading through me. Duo had taught me a lot it seems. I just didn't know how to sort, categorize... deal, with everything he'd taught me. Relena helped me understand myself, my emotions and how much I needed Duo to be a part of my life. She called Duo my soul mate - the one person in this universe who was destined to be my one and only. She said she'd seen it the in the way I look at him when I thought no one was watching, the way he looks at me... the way I'd reacted to his injuries when Wufei brought his broken body back to the house.
For a 'stupid onna', as Wufei would so eloquently put it, Relena's pretty damned smart. And, I think, could be a good friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TBC
Pairing:1x2, 1+R (nothing romantic though), implied 3+4
Disclaimer: Would I still be working if I owned GW?
Archive: GW on the Sanctuary Anywhere else, please ask first. Feedback: Send comments, good and bad, to lady_yaoi @ hotmail.com (remove spaces)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ultimate Sacrifice
AC 196
[Heero POV]
"I think we got to him in time. He'll be okay."
Sally's words acted like a balm upon my heart. Breath I didn't know I'd been holding whooshed out of my lungs and I sagged against the bed. The bed that held a broken and bruised Deathscythe pilot. Looking down at him, I felt my heart constrict again. He looked like shit - who wouldn't after being tossed in an OZ prison for 3 days - but it was nothing I hadn't seen before. Why was it affecting me so differently this time?
"You're sure?" Quatre's soft voice pierced through my thoughts.
Sally didn't need to say anything. Her eyes said what her voice could not... 'I hope so'.
It felt like a fist was squeezing my heart now, and I found it increasingly difficult to draw a full breath. Dammit, what hell was wrong with me? What is this I'm feeling? Helplessness? Is that what it is? Why, dammit!
Suddenly, I felt the overwhelming need to be out of that room. Away from the broken body of my friend… away from the house… away from myself. If I ran far enough and fast enough, I could leave this strange pain behind. Right?
When I finally collapsed, out of exhaustion I'm sure, I found myself in a small park. Where, I couldn't say. All I knew for certain was the pain in my heart was still there.
It was, ironically, Relena who found me sitting in that mystery park. She'd been present at the safe house when Wufei'd brought Duo back. And I say ironically because the conversation that followed her arrival was one I never thought I'd have with her. Ya, even the Perfect Soldier can engage in conversation sometimes... when the circumstances are right.
"You want to tell me what that was all about?"
I didn't bother to look at Relena, or ask her what 'that' was. I hoped my silence would make her go away.
"Something's going on inside you, Heero. You need to talk to someone."
Silence wasn't working so how 'bout short answers. "Hn."
"I'll assume that was a 'no'. No to me, or no to talking in general?" I risked a quick glance at the persistant girl sitting next to me. Something about the expression on her face, the determined set to her jaw maybe, made me realize she was not going to leave me alone.
"Ah, I see. That would be a no in general," Relena stood, and I hoped it meant she was leaving me alone. No such luck; she sat right back down, this time in front of me. "Well, tough. Something has upset you and you need to talk to someone."
"Omae o korosu."
"Death threat me all you want, Heero, but I'm not leaving until you tell me why you ran from Duo's bedside." I tried not to flinch as her small hand touched my arm. "I can't stand to see you in pain, Heero. I care about you."
'I care about you.' Duo had said those words to me too. 'It's what friends do - care for each other.' Duo was my friend... did this make Relena my friend too? Friends talked to one another didn't they? At least, that's what Duo told me, and tried to get me to do on numerous occasions. Sometimes I did... sometimes I didn't. Did I want to right now? A gentle nudge from my heart told me yes, I needed to... even if it was Relena.
"Why'd you run away, Heero?"
"I... don't know."
A soft hand brushed my cheek, gently prodding me to look up. "I think you do." Clear blue eyes, in a face framed by honey-colored hair, stared at me and tried to read the swirl of emotions I'm sure was residing in my eyes.
"No, I don't. I don't understand what... I'm... feeling." I felt my hand rub against my chest, like it could magically ease the constricted feeling still around my heart.
"It's called love."
Love? Wasn't love supposed to feeling giddy? Joyous? I said as much to Relena, earning me a small sad smile.
"Most times, yes." Her hand dropped from my face to rest in her lap as she drew back slightly from me. "But not always. When you love someone, you feel their pain, disappointment, sadness. And when they're hurt as badly as Duo is, you feel more than that. Helplessness, deep sorrow, anger... at yourself for not being there or doing something to prevent it."
Helplessness... anger... love. Do I love Duo? As a friend, yes I suppose I do.
"It's more than that, Heero."
My head jerked upwards. Did I say that out loud? I felt a glare form before I could stop it.
"Search your heart. You're in love with Duo, you have been for a while," she blew a loose strand of hair from her face, and I had to wonder why Relena was saying this to me. After all, isn't she the girl who's been following me around like a lovesick puppy since the day I met her?
She looked at me with overly bright eyes and I realized she was bravely trying not to cry. Knowing how she feels about me, this has to be one of the hardest conversations she's ever had. "I know... I know I won't ever matter to you the same way Duo does. I understand that now. Duo, he has claim to part of you I can never hope to have... never stand a chance of getting. And... and I only want your happiness. Let me help you, please, as a friend."
Help me. Could she really help me? "How?" I asked.
"Talk to me. Let me help you understand what you're feeling."
The sun set and rose before we finally stopped talking, before she fell asleep trying to help me understand the maelstrom of emotions cascading through me. Duo had taught me a lot it seems. I just didn't know how to sort, categorize... deal, with everything he'd taught me. Relena helped me understand myself, my emotions and how much I needed Duo to be a part of my life. She called Duo my soul mate - the one person in this universe who was destined to be my one and only. She said she'd seen it the in the way I look at him when I thought no one was watching, the way he looks at me... the way I'd reacted to his injuries when Wufei brought his broken body back to the house.
For a 'stupid onna', as Wufei would so eloquently put it, Relena's pretty damned smart. And, I think, could be a good friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TBC