Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Ultimate Sacrifice ❯ Part 5 ( Chapter 5 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Karen from KanaDUH 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Hentai / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.18.2002 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 562 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Hentai / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.18.2002 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 562 | Status: Work In Progress
Warnings: yaoi, angst, AU, alternating POV's
Pairing:1x2, 1+R (nothing romantic though), implied 3+4
Disclaimer: Would I still be working if I owned GW?
Archive: GW on the Sanctuary Anywhere else, please ask first. Feedback: Send comments, good and bad, to lady_yaoi @ hotmail.com (remove spaces)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AC 200
[Relena POV]
"Trowa, you're sure?" Oh please, I prayed, say you're sure... say you investigated this... say it's truly Duo.
"100 percent? No, Relena." His eyes, or I should say 'eye' since the other is still covered by that ever-present bang, meets mine through the vid-link. The intenseness of this gaze froze the breath in my lungs. "But I don't think it could be anyone else. Neither does Quatre. No one else has ever called him 'Blondie'.
Trowa's words sent a flood of relief through me, easing a tenseness I didn't realize had been so strong. "Please send me everything, Trowa. I'll get it Heero the minute he steps off the shuttle."
The emerald green eye staring at me narrowed noticeably; I knew what was coming. "Where is he?" Yup, I was right. Trowa's lion-like growl no longer frightens me; I've grown to find it endearing.
"Same place as last year. Then he was going to help Wufei."
"Damn idiot. He'll get himself..." The solitary green eye closed briefly and its owner drew a deep, hopefully calming, breath.
"He knows. As awful as it sounds, that possibility is what keeps him going now." The chime of incoming e-mail split my attention for a moment. I pressed the receive button, directing the incoming message to the printer. "This," I held up the printed copy, "should help... give him some hope. At least there's a good chance Duo is still alive somewhere."
"Is that good or bad?" The question didn't shock me as much as it would have done a year ago. "I'll let you know," I answered softly, painfully. "Tell Quatre I said hello."
"I will. Call us if you need help, if anything... happens." Trowa severed our connection before I could say anything further.
Glancing at my watch, I noted I could meet Heero's shuttle if I left right now. He was due back at 4:30 and it's a forty-five minute drive to the spaceport. I'd just make it.
Pargan, my ever-faithful, never-seeming-to-age, personal assistant had me on the road in record time. Not by myself, of course; Pargan drove, I rode and Manon guarded. Manon is my personal guard when Heero is unavailable. A situation that's occurring more and more as of late.
A heavy sigh from me elicited a raised eyebrow from Manon. She knows some of what's going on with Heero, why she's been taking his place more, but not all. I don't think the others - Trowa, Quatre, Wufei - know all the details. But I do. Shit, I wish I didn't sometimes. But then, Heero would probably be dead.
Trowa's words came back to me and I thought about them. Was it good or bad if Duo was still alive... somewhere? If Heero, or one of us, couldn't find him then the question was moot. If Duo was dead, Heero wouldn't be with us much longer either. If Duo was still alive, but unfound... well, I doubt Heero would be alive much past the next anniversary of the wars end.
How can I sound so sure? I've seen the hell he's living in. I know what's going on inside his head. At least, that which he shares with me. Some days, I think I'm his thread to sanity.
Before the war ended, after our chat in the park, a new Heero emerged. The stone-faced, unemotional boy was replaced by one who smiled and occasionally joked around. It took time, but there was a human being under the Perfect Soldier shell, and Duo had been the one to coax him out. It was obvious to everyone around those two that Duo loved Heero - I'd go so far as to say worshipped - and Heero cared deeply for Duo in return. From fleeting, heat-filled glances to wide soft smiles, it showed. Sometimes, it was hard not to be jealous of the way Heero looked at Duo. Not so much because I wanted Heero - part of me will always - but that Heero had found the singular person who he was destined to. Lord, I'm such a sap when it comes to love.
Which is why Duo's sudden disappearance floored everyone... and damn near killed Heero. But I understand why Duo did what he did better than anyone else, except maybe Trowa. For all Duo's talk and apparent strength, his opinion of himself was pretty low. It wasn't until six months after he left that I figured it out though. Before then, I didn't know much about Duo's background. Once I did however, his actions made sense in a twisted way. Not that my insight was much help to Heero. All that mattered to him was Duo was gone and couldn't be found.
And God, did we try - all of us. And tried, and tried... Heero was right when he said 'if Duo didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be.' It was almost a year before the others gave up; well, not gave up, but eased up considerably. Life, for them, had to go forward. Wufei was needed more and more at Preventors, Trowa and Quatre at Winner Enterprises. Heero doesn't hold it against them, but I think he was surprised when I didn't back off. I know for a fact the other guys were. What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic... and Heero needs someone to support him and understand why he can't slow down.
Well, no one - not even the Perfect Soldier - can go full tilt forever. When the anniversary of the wars end was upon us for the second time, Heero lost some of his steam. And, unfortunately, a lot of his will. If you look in eyes now, you can see how much a chore living has become for him. When life becomes a chore, you're not destined to be around long. Somehow, some way, you'll find a way to end it - consciously or not.
Heero's doing it in combination. He can't put a gun to his head, or a razor to his wrist - and he has tried on more than one occasion - so instead he takes on what I call suicide missions for the Preventors. The higher the risk of death, the more he likes it. I guess death on a mission sits better with him. I can't pretend to see a major difference - I don't - but it's not my place to understand. Every time he goes off with Wufei, I say goodbye like it's the last time I'll see him. One day it will be... and that chills me to the bone.
The doorway to Heero's emotions that Duo opened cannot be shut. Oh Heero tries, in public at least, but behind closed doors… I've tried my best to be there for him, offer a shoulder to cry on, a calm voice to anchor to when the hurricane of feelings gets to be too much, but even I won't be able to help Heero for much longer. I hope this lead pans out; I don't want to lose the boy I call my best friend.
A gentle shake rouses me from my thoughts. Manon's soft voice informs me that we're at the spaceport five minutes ahead of Heero's shuttle. Clutching the printout firmly in my hand, mainly to reassure myself I still have it, we trek to the terminal to await Heero.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TBC
Pairing:1x2, 1+R (nothing romantic though), implied 3+4
Disclaimer: Would I still be working if I owned GW?
Archive: GW on the Sanctuary Anywhere else, please ask first. Feedback: Send comments, good and bad, to lady_yaoi @ hotmail.com (remove spaces)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ultimate Sacrifice
AC 200
[Relena POV]
"Trowa, you're sure?" Oh please, I prayed, say you're sure... say you investigated this... say it's truly Duo.
"100 percent? No, Relena." His eyes, or I should say 'eye' since the other is still covered by that ever-present bang, meets mine through the vid-link. The intenseness of this gaze froze the breath in my lungs. "But I don't think it could be anyone else. Neither does Quatre. No one else has ever called him 'Blondie'.
Trowa's words sent a flood of relief through me, easing a tenseness I didn't realize had been so strong. "Please send me everything, Trowa. I'll get it Heero the minute he steps off the shuttle."
The emerald green eye staring at me narrowed noticeably; I knew what was coming. "Where is he?" Yup, I was right. Trowa's lion-like growl no longer frightens me; I've grown to find it endearing.
"Same place as last year. Then he was going to help Wufei."
"Damn idiot. He'll get himself..." The solitary green eye closed briefly and its owner drew a deep, hopefully calming, breath.
"He knows. As awful as it sounds, that possibility is what keeps him going now." The chime of incoming e-mail split my attention for a moment. I pressed the receive button, directing the incoming message to the printer. "This," I held up the printed copy, "should help... give him some hope. At least there's a good chance Duo is still alive somewhere."
"Is that good or bad?" The question didn't shock me as much as it would have done a year ago. "I'll let you know," I answered softly, painfully. "Tell Quatre I said hello."
"I will. Call us if you need help, if anything... happens." Trowa severed our connection before I could say anything further.
Glancing at my watch, I noted I could meet Heero's shuttle if I left right now. He was due back at 4:30 and it's a forty-five minute drive to the spaceport. I'd just make it.
Pargan, my ever-faithful, never-seeming-to-age, personal assistant had me on the road in record time. Not by myself, of course; Pargan drove, I rode and Manon guarded. Manon is my personal guard when Heero is unavailable. A situation that's occurring more and more as of late.
A heavy sigh from me elicited a raised eyebrow from Manon. She knows some of what's going on with Heero, why she's been taking his place more, but not all. I don't think the others - Trowa, Quatre, Wufei - know all the details. But I do. Shit, I wish I didn't sometimes. But then, Heero would probably be dead.
Trowa's words came back to me and I thought about them. Was it good or bad if Duo was still alive... somewhere? If Heero, or one of us, couldn't find him then the question was moot. If Duo was dead, Heero wouldn't be with us much longer either. If Duo was still alive, but unfound... well, I doubt Heero would be alive much past the next anniversary of the wars end.
How can I sound so sure? I've seen the hell he's living in. I know what's going on inside his head. At least, that which he shares with me. Some days, I think I'm his thread to sanity.
Before the war ended, after our chat in the park, a new Heero emerged. The stone-faced, unemotional boy was replaced by one who smiled and occasionally joked around. It took time, but there was a human being under the Perfect Soldier shell, and Duo had been the one to coax him out. It was obvious to everyone around those two that Duo loved Heero - I'd go so far as to say worshipped - and Heero cared deeply for Duo in return. From fleeting, heat-filled glances to wide soft smiles, it showed. Sometimes, it was hard not to be jealous of the way Heero looked at Duo. Not so much because I wanted Heero - part of me will always - but that Heero had found the singular person who he was destined to. Lord, I'm such a sap when it comes to love.
Which is why Duo's sudden disappearance floored everyone... and damn near killed Heero. But I understand why Duo did what he did better than anyone else, except maybe Trowa. For all Duo's talk and apparent strength, his opinion of himself was pretty low. It wasn't until six months after he left that I figured it out though. Before then, I didn't know much about Duo's background. Once I did however, his actions made sense in a twisted way. Not that my insight was much help to Heero. All that mattered to him was Duo was gone and couldn't be found.
And God, did we try - all of us. And tried, and tried... Heero was right when he said 'if Duo didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be.' It was almost a year before the others gave up; well, not gave up, but eased up considerably. Life, for them, had to go forward. Wufei was needed more and more at Preventors, Trowa and Quatre at Winner Enterprises. Heero doesn't hold it against them, but I think he was surprised when I didn't back off. I know for a fact the other guys were. What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic... and Heero needs someone to support him and understand why he can't slow down.
Well, no one - not even the Perfect Soldier - can go full tilt forever. When the anniversary of the wars end was upon us for the second time, Heero lost some of his steam. And, unfortunately, a lot of his will. If you look in eyes now, you can see how much a chore living has become for him. When life becomes a chore, you're not destined to be around long. Somehow, some way, you'll find a way to end it - consciously or not.
Heero's doing it in combination. He can't put a gun to his head, or a razor to his wrist - and he has tried on more than one occasion - so instead he takes on what I call suicide missions for the Preventors. The higher the risk of death, the more he likes it. I guess death on a mission sits better with him. I can't pretend to see a major difference - I don't - but it's not my place to understand. Every time he goes off with Wufei, I say goodbye like it's the last time I'll see him. One day it will be... and that chills me to the bone.
The doorway to Heero's emotions that Duo opened cannot be shut. Oh Heero tries, in public at least, but behind closed doors… I've tried my best to be there for him, offer a shoulder to cry on, a calm voice to anchor to when the hurricane of feelings gets to be too much, but even I won't be able to help Heero for much longer. I hope this lead pans out; I don't want to lose the boy I call my best friend.
A gentle shake rouses me from my thoughts. Manon's soft voice informs me that we're at the spaceport five minutes ahead of Heero's shuttle. Clutching the printout firmly in my hand, mainly to reassure myself I still have it, we trek to the terminal to await Heero.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TBC