Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Untitled ❯ Honey, don't pat the rabid alien. ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Half an hour had passed without an appearance from either Heero or Duo and yet, the group had gained several more......things.
had now gained a living puppet, a flying rug, 2 ugly sisters and 50 out of 101 dalmations (Quatre was still cold so the 51 absent dogs were now wrapped firmly around blonde's shoulders).
cautiously approached the black-haired princess, afraid she was going to jump him. Clearing his throat, he held out his hand towards her. "Onna! Where are my Tim Tams?!"
onna looked him up and down before launching herself at the Chinese pilot.
Skirts went flying up, tissue boxes scattered and shoes removed themselves from their owners as a bundle of bright coloured fabric and two black-haired females landed with a 'thud'.
looked on with mild interest; he preferred the guy on guy action to the girl on girl. Next to him, a red high heel landed in the hands of Zechs.
am I supposed to do with this? I already have my stilettos."
of the ugly sisters overheard his question and piped up." Speaking from experience........thanks to Cinderella. That bitch......" An elbow in her side prompted her to stop her ranting."Ahem. As I was saying, if the shoe fits, throw it out the window."
there's no window~ows!" The blond whined."Can I throw it at the clown?"
handy."
the advise, Zechs chucked the shoe at Trowa, where it rebounded of his bang of cemented extra bouncy hair and hit the talking puppet, who was claiming it was Elvis's re-incarnation and broke it's growing............
Tro-baby, has that wooden thing got an expanding hard on?"
Quatre, that's its nose."

heart-broken whimper interrupted their conversation."Oops, I broke it!"
turned to the other blond."You broke it, how did you break it?"
just sorta snapped off..."
on the ground, twitching, was a pile of splinters and woodchips where the wooden boy's elongated nose used to be.
loud scream tore from the inside of the cottage and echoed over the forest, sending birds and animals into a fear induced dash. A second later, Duo's voice came booming at them.
my daddy?!?!!"
by Heero's cry of "ME!!, I'm yo daddy!"
who had recovered from his molestation, started the desperate search his tissues.
of the little men turned to another in confusion."The braided one is with his father? And what does his mother think about that?!!?" In which, the other dwarf just muttered,"Sick bastards."
cutie! You're a sweetie-pie aren't you?!? Yes you are! Yes, yes you are!!"
ARGG!!" Was the response.
ignored the drool and teeth of the little blue thing and knelt down to pat it.
don't pat the rabid animal."
Quatre! Look at it! It's so cute and fuzzy and....IT BIT ME!!"

just sighed and walked away mumbling something that went along the lines of 'Don't listen to me but if you turn into some Ewok (AN. The little Star Wars bear critters!) gone wrong don't come running to me coz I'm not into bestiality.....'

handed his llama an apple that he found on the ground before looking around for his two recently turned female lovers. Strolling to the purple hovering carpet thing, he bowed elegantly and asked if it had seen the missing persons. Said rug just folded itself in half and swung itself side to side. The OZ leader raised an eyebrow."Wow, a carpet that can give itself a blowjob. That is one flexible piece of material!"
the thing to itself, the ginger-haired man swung around in time to see Zechs and Wufei stumble out of the nearby bushes looking extremely ruffled with twigs in their long hair.
up to them, he pointed to Wufei's dress and voiced his observation."Is it supposed to be that colour? I thought your clothes were red, not blue?!?"
bushed and then battered his eyelashes at the man."They got mixed up at the drycleaners, we each grabbed the wrong garment when we picked them up."
those people! Well anyway, Dragon, ice blue is not your colour. I suggest you both go and switch them back, those tree's over there should provide you both with enough cover."
madly, they exchanged a look and ran to where Trieze had suggested, leaving dust in their wake.


alot of screaming, banging and lines of "OH YES!!", "MORE!", and "LOOK HEE-BABE! IT'S WARM AND SHINY AND IT SQUISHES BETWEEN MY FINGERS!!" (AN. *Cough cough* If ah..... you know what I'm referring to...) the two sex-bunnies made an appearance, wearing each others clothes.
never sleeping in any of those beds again." One of the midgets whispered to another."I don't know which one they used but I'm not taking the risk of it being mine."
say it's the broken one." Duo cut in.

draped a lazy arm over his lover."You know, we tried mama's bed and Papa's bed but we never got around to the baby bears bed."
if you're volunteering to dress up as Goldilocks."
where is a blond wig? Hey Quatre! Can I shave your hair so I can use it?!"
blond looked at his golden locks before running for his life yelling "NO! Trowa likes it!!"
a lingering look at Duo's behind, Heero took after the Arabian waving a pair of scissors, from his spandex of course.
back here!! I /need/ your hair!! If it doesn't come from your head I'll get it from some other part of your body!............... Using duct tape!!!"
threaten me!!"
not threatening. I'm *persuading*."
CAN"T GET THIS DAMN BRA OFF!!! HELP ME ZECHS!!" Everyone stopped dead at the sound of Wufei's shout.
Quatre cease all movement, and that his attention was now focused at the sound of rustling and groans coming from behind a load of tree's, Heero quickly grabbed a piece of blond hair and snipped a bit of it off.
At Heero's shout, Quatre spun around and landed a painful kick to the Japanese boy's groin. "OOWW!!! Are you nuts?!? You damn near broke my favourite joystick!!" He squeaked, doubling over.
you right." He huffed before breaking into tears and dashing off to tell his boyfriend the terrible news about his hairs fate.


once again from behind the bushes, Wufei and Zechs smoothed out their rumpled clothing and entered the group. Joining half way through a conversation about the pro's and con's of being able to pleasure ones self (courtesy of the flying carpets display), their entrance went unnoticed.
if I can do it alone, there would be no use for Quatre."
ain't going to back out now, unlike you Trowa, I'm not flexible enough to do it by myself so I need you."
you like to show me how much you need me??" Trowa peered out from under his bangs and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
a flash of blurry Gundam pilots, they were gone.
dwarf turned to another. "Oh god. Not them as well!?"
which the response was."Why don't we try it and see what all the fuss is about?"
little legs ran as fast as they could towards their little house -- and bedroom.
watched as his obsessions toddled off to do dirty things with each other...... And followed.



hours later, a horrible noise made itself heard. Looking around, Wufei noticed the beeping sound coming from a trail of clothes leading into the cottage. Grabbing Zechs hand, he dragged the blond with him to investigate.
is that god awful noise?" Blocking his ears, Zechs hid behind Wufei as they carefully approached the offending article of clothing of which the sound was emitting
up Treize's trouser pants, Chang checked the pockets and brought out a mobile phone."I wonder, does Treize know his thing is beeping?"
lightning count leaned over Wufei's shoulder to look at the caller ID. "He does."
do you know that?"
the caller is Lady Une. Which means he's ignoring it."
Who else's number does he have in there?"
frowned in frustration as he tried to find the address book. Games, no. Calculator, no. Reminders, no. Clock, no. Ah, here we go.
Anyonamis 1800-drunken-I-love-my-wine1800-Nataku-justiceMaxwell 1800-dead-sexy-death-godYuy 1800-ring-me-and-I'll-kill-youUne 1800-peace-is-KILL-better-than-BULLSHIT-war-BASTARD-skitzo1800-I-am-carryin g-out-my-fathers-willmates 1800-call-me-short-but-don't-forget-I'm-at-the-right-height-to-bite-your-ba lls1800-I-love-Zechs-but-can-say-it-any-other-way-other-than-I-love-youWinn er 1800-outer-space-has-gone-crazy-not-mePeacecraft/Dorlin 1800-HEEEEEEERROOOOOOOOOOOOO-I-love-you-kill-meBarton 1800-.........-...........-............-!sexy boy 1800-mask-no mask-Millardo-Zechs-earth-colonies-hmmmmm

sexy boy??"
you know it." A quick wiggle of her hips and a toss of blond hair were used to prove Zechs's point.
know, being a woman isn't so bad when I get to look at you like that." Wufei ran an appreciative eye over Milliardo's feminine body.
did the same to Chang before adding, "Same goes for you."
to go join Treize?"
up for it."
you would be if you still had your heat rod." A light smack landed on Zechs's ass before a skilled hand grabbed the front of his........... her........... whatever's dress and pulled towards the cottage.


away, Quatre and Trowa were in a thorough liplock and Duo and Heero were, well, going at like rabbits to put it lightly.
to them was a totem pole of dwarfs, covered by a rug that was tired of being alone to have fun and a blue bear alien thingy jumping up and down on top of the assorted
just say they're never going to get away from the singing, dancing and happiness.
not any time soon anyway.
at all.
Nope. Not going anywhere...................





All done!! *Pats self on back* This is my first complete multi-parter!!those who didn't get it, or just didn't pay much attention, here is the list of credits:

white as herself.
seven dwarfs as themselves.
(from Aladdin) as himself.
(Lilo and Stitch) as the blue bear looking thingy.

Dalmations as Quatre's new piece of clothing. (Hope Disney doesn't want them back. Quat's kinda attached to his new fur coat)
of course........ (Drumroll please)

YuyMaxwellBartonWinnerChangMarquise/Milliardo Peacecraft as the Gundam Pilots.introducing...Kushrenada as the midget obsessed, llama riding, Oz leader.


there you go. *Bows*was so /bad/! Such a waste of your time. Oh well, live with it.