Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Wayward Souls ❯ Entry 2: Like a Well-Oiled Machine ( Chapter 2 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Xander B 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Angst / Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 07.14.2008 | Pages: 2 | Words: 4.0K | Visits: 511 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Angst / Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 07.14.2008 | Pages: 2 | Words: 4.0K | Visits: 511 | Status: Completed
Wayward Souls
Warnings: Angst, swearing, LEMON, YAOI, OOCNESS, WAFF, prostitution, slight Relena-bashing, possible violence, Duo POV, darkness, violent sex, possible suicide attempts, drug/alcohol abuse, etc...
Author's note: I would like to thank Niu and dark_amathyst for their supportive reviews. I was a little afraid that people wouldn't particularly enjoy this fic, so thanks for letting me know that at least a few people would like for me to continue it. Thanks again guys. Also, thanks to Yacumo for your review. I assure you that Duo will not be saved by Wufei. This fic is a 1X2 and will remain one. ^.~
Entry 2: Like a Well-Oiled Machine
(Duo)
I sat on the frigid cold floor for what could have been hours, not really knowing or caring how long exactly. I sobbed wretchedly on the floor below the window, my hands over my damp face, hiding away my shame. How could I keep letting him do this to me? I didn't know why it was so hard to stop him, not that I was strong enough to actually force him off of me, but I couldn't understand why my body betrayed me the way it did. It always reacted to his brutal touch, craving it even. I felt sick.
I stood up on shaky legs, wincing at the twinge of burning pain in my backside, the small of my back aching with bruising. I sighed heavily, gritting my teeth against the obvious pain that radiated from my lower body. He'd raped me. Wasn't that what they called it when someone fucked you without your permission? Not that anyone would believe it if I told them, especially not when my body shuddered in anticipation of his touch like some rutting slut.
I stumbled towards the seedy bathroom, closing the door as much as it would allow, not actually clicking shut properly. I groaned as I looked at my reflection in the cracked and filthy mirror. My hair was hardly held within the confines of my plait and my eyes looked bloodshot from my tears, red-rimmed and puffy, my neck and shoulder littered with bite marks and hideous burgundy hickies. I looked away angrily, not able to see the evidence of him on me.
I leaned over and turned the shower on, the water sputtering indignantly for a few moments before turning on fully, the water spraying sporadically out of the rusted shower head. I hissed as I stepped beneath the chilly onslaught as it gradually warmed up. Stupid old pipes! I cursed inwardly as I stood shivering. The remains of his sticky semen mixed with my blood ran down the insides of my thighs and slid into the drain in a milky, pinkish stream.
I closed my eyes against the sight of it, the evidence being to much to handle. I scrubbed at my skin furiously, hoping to get the feel of his lingering hands off of me and the smell of his sweat. God damn him. I hated him and I loved him. I wished he'd just leave me be. He had her now, why couldn't he just let me go?
I'd loved Heero for ages, developing the crush when we'd first met during the war a few years ago. And at eighteen I still loved him, the crush had developed into so much more. It was so complex and so fucked up now. I hated what he did to me and I hated it even more that I let him do it. How could I let him do the awful things he did to me. I didn't comprehend why he even needed to. He had gone with Relena and he had stayed with her. I didn't get why he couldn't stop seeing me, tracking me down and ruining me the way he did. I figured he must have been some kind of sadistic bastard, just loving to watch me break.
And every time I thought he'd finally be gone for good, after months of not hearing from him or seeing him, he'd just show up out of the blue. I'd wake up to the pounding on my door and thinking it was a customer or a disgruntled friend, I'd answer the damn thing. There he'd be, standing before me in my doorway looking lost and desperate. I'd even move around in hopes of losing him. Every time he came to me, he told me it'd be the last time, like he actually believed it would be and I believed him. God knows why I believed him, but I did. And I'd think, 'Thank God.' But then just weeks or even months later he'd return, hoping for another quick roll in the hay.
I was pathetic. I was a whore, a prostitute and I didn't even charge the bastard for the things he did to me. I damn well should have too. Half of my johns weren't even as rough as him. I unraveled my hair as I thought about it. I hadn't wanted things to turn out like this, hell I hadn't even thought they could turn out like this. I always assumed we'd just stay together, the five of us after the war had ended, but I was naïve. I knew it.
I struggled to untangle the knots that had formed throughout my long hair and not for the first time, I contemplated ripping it all out of my head. I couldn't stand myself. How was it that I had fallen so completely low? How had I lost all contact with the ones I called friends, the ones I'd trusted with my life? And how in the hell had the one I'd called my partner end up raping me on a regular basis?
The questions were not easily answered and it wasn't the first time I had asked myself them. In fact, I asked them pretty frequently, almost daily. I turned off the spray and stepped out, dripping water carelessly over the grimy tiled floor of the tiny bathroom before making my way back out into the dank room. I tried to hold my breath, refusing to breath in the aroma of sex and Heero. My stomach turned as I failed miserably, inhaling a deep breath. “I hate you,” I repeated even though he was long gone, seeing Heero's forgotten wallet laying on the floor by the bed. I laughed bitterly to myself. That meant he'd be back again soon.
I shook my head, dressing in a ragged t-shirt and a pair of worn out black jeans that were faded to a dark gray with the knees ripped out and a hole in the back pocket. I sighed, bending over stiffly, my abdomen rebelling against the movement painfully, to pick up the brown leather wallet from my dirty carpeted floor. I rifled through it, perusing Heero's various cards and Ids. I gave another huff of hot air as I browsed his money compartment, the bills catching my eye. He wouldn't miss a few, I decided before delving in and taking out a couple hundreds.
I grinned. It served the asshole right for leaving the damn thing hear in the first place. Besides, I figured he owed me. I moved awkwardly through the room, picking up one boot by the bed and the other by the door before yanking them on and grabbing my keys, shoving them into my pocket with the bills. I headed out the door, locking it behind myself, leaving Heero's half-empty wallet on the night table. I took the stairs two at a time as I left.
I ambled out onto the lonely street, heading for the drug district instinctively. I needed a little pick me up now that Heero was gone. I stopped at a convenience store and picked up a pack of cigarettes before making my way to the familiar square of streets where the dealers and the junkies hung out. I searched for someone I recognized, only having to look for a few minutes before picking Randy out of the alleyway. He stood under the orange light of a flickering street lamp.
I walked towards him quickly, almost desperately. I wasn't some junky, but I needed it bad. I wondered what he'd have for me this time. I hoped it was something that would get me right fucked out of my mind, so I could forget for just a little bit. I was glad it was Randy; he always had good shit on him. Always. I smiled at him charmingly. Randy was a good dealer, not to mention he had a thing for me. He wasn't all that bad to look at really either. He was tall, probably like six foot at least and he had a pretty stocky build, muscular and all. He had pretty green eyes that spoke of like on the streets and nice lips with dirty sand-coloured hair that fell in jagged spikes around his face and neck.
He smirked as I came towards him. “Well, well, look what the gutter spit up this evening,” he said good naturedly, looking me up and down, a hungry glint in his eyes. I grinned and shrugged.
“How's business Randy?” I asked, watching him and lowering my lashes sensually. Randy was an easy one to play. He shifted from one foot to the other.
“It's been good, but I've been lonely since you stopped comin' 'round,” he answered, his eyes catching mine easily.
“What you got for me tonight Randy?” I questioned, glancing at his coat, knowing he must have his stash in the pockets. He shrugged one shoulder.
“That's a loaded question Angel. You know I got several things for you,” he replied cheekily, waggling his eyebrows suggestively at me. I shook my head.
“I mean something that will make me fly,” I elaborated impatiently. He smirked.
“I could take you flying baby, just say the word,” he said laughingly. I chuckled as well.
“You try too hard, anyone ever told you that?” I questioned, raising a single cinnamon shaded brow at him.
“Never have to try this hard for anyone but you Angel,” he answered, using my street name again. I shook my head once more, smiling.
“Yeah, yeah, so you say. So really, you got anything or what?” I asked bluntly, trying to get back on topic. Randy nodded.
“Yeah, but it's gonna cost ya'. You got cash?” he asked, watching my, his sea-green eyes focusing on my crotch indiscreetly. I snorted.
“Yeah, I do so pull your eyes back up to my face sweetheart,” I replied, crossing my arms over my flat stomach.
“Aww, you're no fun Angel. When you gonna let me take you to heaven without this shit?” he inquired, pulling a little baggy of white powder from his coat pocket and waving it in front of me.
“Maybe when you are a paying customer,” I answered, snatching the little bag from his fingers and looking at it in the light. “What is this, coke?”
He nodded, “Yeah, fine cut too, not even laced with anything. And what if I don't charge you nothing for this?” he said suggestively. I raised both brows. Cocaine this fine and pure wasn't cheap. Where did Randy get off giving it to me for free?
“What, you want to fuck me for just a bit of blow?” I reiterated, hoping to comprehend what a great deal it would be.
“Yeah. You interested Angel?” his voice was excited despite his best attempts to sound casual.
“Maybe,” I said unsure if I should or shouldn't make the deal.
“Look Angel, you know I've been wanting your tail for months. I'll make you a deal. Whenever you want something to make you fly, I'll give it to you for free, you just let me have a little taste of you now and then. How's that sound?” he was quite the salesman, I thought as I looked him up and down.
“Whenever I want it?” I questioned skeptically. He nodded.
“Whenever you want baby,” he agreed, putting out his hand. I nibbled my lip for a second in thought, weighing my options. Drugs weren't exactly, especially not the good stuff that Randy sold. I smiled after a moment and nodded my head. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up. I shook his hand.
“You got a deal blondie, but you can't play with me tonight,” I said, gazing at the taller man in the dark blue coat. He cocked his head to the side.
“Why's that?” he asked curiously, stepping closer to me. I shrugged, standing my ground firmly.
“Well, I had a bit of a rough customer earlier. Give me two days recuperate and you can come by,” I answered simply as I dug into my coat for a scrap piece of paper and a pen. I ended up scribbling the address on a ripped piece of the cigarette package and handed it to the blond. He grinned wolfishly, lust swirling in the green depths of his eyes.
“Alright Angel, I'll see you then,” he acknowledged. I nodded, bidding him a farewell with a wink.
I walked away from him, swaying a little, the cocaine tucked safely away in my pocket for when I got back home. I'd never tried it before, but I'd heard good things about it. I practically jogged, mind you a little oddly with the soreness in my ass, back to my motel room. I tried my damndest not to think of Heero either, not that I succeeded.
When I got back to my place, it still smelled like his stupid cologne and the gunpowder scent that never seemed to leave him. I grumbled to myself as I turned on the lamp, taking off the shade so that it would be brighter and fining some kind off hard surface which ended up being a hardcover copy of the bible that was seemingly mandatory in every motel and hotel room. I used one of the laminated cards in Heero's wallet to separate the blow into lines and then I used the hollow tube from my pen to snort it off the good old book. My nose felt dry almost immediately and I rubbed it in irritation, but nothing happened at first. I packed up the rest of the coke back into the clear baggy and stuck it back in my front pocket.
It took almost fifteen minutes before I felt the drug take effect. I lit a cigarette, taking a drag and letting the poisonous smoke fill my lungs easily, enjoying the euphoria that had come over me thoroughly. My body felt numb, the anesthetic quality of the drug taking effect, my limbs tingling with every touch. It was an interesting and completely exciting experience. My skin felt like it was electric even as it itched slightly. My mind fogged, my thoughts muddled, meshing and mixing together in sparking contrast. I groaned in my euphoric state, my entire body feeling far too sensitive suddenly as the nicotine from the cigarette increased my high, making the cocaine more potent. I laid back on the single, rumpled bed in the corner of the room, my fingers running over my skin ticklishly, sending shivers through me. I was feeling way too damn good to notice much of anything as the hours ticked by.
By the time I came back to myself, it was halfway through the day and Heero still hadn't come for his wallet. I wondered idly if he had left it on purpose, so he'd have an excuse to come back, probably just so he could fuck me raw again. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, rubbing the heels of my palms into them, already craving the euphoric feeling of the coke in my system again. That stuff was addictive, just the feel of it under my skin. I groaned, sighing heavily as thoughts came back to me.
Heero was so different than he used to, or at least that's what I tried to convince myself of. But the truth was that he was the same as he'd always been. He was like a well-oiled machine. He never changed; it wasn't in his programming. He was all gears and wiring after all. I chuckled, imagining that Heero was actually metal beneath his skin, even though it wasn't possible. It was awful thinking about him the way I did. I was like some kind of lovesick schoolgirl the way I obsessed over him. He was gorgeous with his messy dark locks, sharp oriental features, tall, tanned, muscular body and those stunning Prussian blue eyes. Why couldn't he have a personality to match his looks? I was so unfair.
He hadn't always treated me quite the way he did now. He had always been a jerk to me, sure, but he'd never raped me during the time we'd spent together in the past. I wondered what had changed. Where had the lonely 'Perfect Soldier' of the Wing Gundam gone? I'd always assumed that Heero would be different, maybe more normal after all the war shit ended, but he was worse if anything. He played Relena off as his pure princess, pure as snow, she was. And he let her hang off his arm, looking to all the world like a perfect royal couple. The princess and the knight in shining armor. I snorted. Yeah right!
Heero was no knight in shining anything. He was a cold, heartless bastard and he liked it that way. No one knew that he and Relena's relationship was nothing but a cheap farce, some kind of sad play with easily performed roles for the two of them. They were like puppeteers with the whole world on their strings. It was sickening to think how easily they fooled everyone. I wasn't so simple. I knew better. I knew the dark side of Heero Yuy.
I knew he never fucked Relena they way he fucked me. I knew he never even talked dirtily to her, his sweet little girl. She'd be appalled if she knew the ways and places he'd fucked me in. She'd look away if she could see the way he touched me so ruthlessly. His love was the most brutal. She be sick if she could see the marks he marred my skin with, if she could hear the names he called me when I wouldn't spread for him. He never failed to remind me of my chosen career as a whore, not thet he ever had to pay me. The little shit took what he wanted for free.
I wondered in the back of my mind what excuse he'd tell her this time, how easily she would gobble up every word he spouted. It was pretty ridiculous to think that a woman as intelligent and politically sound as Relena would fall for such cheap excuses. But what was it they said about love, oh yes, it was blind. And it was so blind that if you were trapped within it's grasp, that you'd even let the one you loved fuck you raw and leave you bleeding every time they came to call. You'd let them dirty you up right good and still be craving more.
I spoke from experience on that one. I'd loved Heero for so long, it felt like there never was a time that I didn't. It made me ill to think that I let him do whatever he wanted to me as long as I could pretend that he loved me back for just a little while. But in reality, if you loved someone, you certainly didn't rape them and fuck them without preparation. Heero was one sick son of a bitch, that was for sure. And he knew I loved him, that was probably the worst part of the whole ordeal. He knew it and he got some fucked up thrill from exploiting it, humiliating me and using me like some kind of toy, like a little doll.
God I hated him for making me feel the way I did. He made me feel ashamed of myself, sickened by my own reflection. He made me remember what I was, nothing more than some common whore, just like I had been meant to be. It's not like I was good for much else anyway. Nobody wanted a washed up Gundam pilot these days. I suppose I could have done the scrapyard thing with Hilde, and I tried to, but the first time Heero had shown up, I knew I couldn't let her see the things he did to me. I ran after that and I never stopped, not that Heero didn't find me every time. I wondered when he'd finally quit chasing me. Whenever he finally got bored with me, I supposed or maybe when I was dead in a ditch somewhere, overdosed on drugs or killed by a john who went to far.
I sat up, setting up another line, hoping to rid myself of the thoughts that were overpowering my brain. I didn't waste time snorting the fine whitish powder into the membranes of my nose, sniffing several times as though my nose were running and I supposed it probably was. I lit up another cigarette, assuming it would produce the same result as the night before. And it did.
Euphoria was some kind of blessing, cutting off my thought processes, making my body float. I touched myself again, trailing my own hands and fingers over my body, enjoying the tingling shock waves that shot through me with every caress. I hardly remembered the rest of the day, even though I was sure I did nothing but touch myself and snort coke. I didn't even eat, the drug suppressing my appetite. I was glad; I didn't feel like going out for food anyways, even though I had money for it. Heero's money that is.
TBC....
There is the second chapter. I will just let all you readers know that I plan on hoping back and forth between Heero and Duo'd POV for alternating chapters, at least for the time being. I hope you all enjoyed the second installment and keep the lovely reviews coming. Also, the facts about the cocaine are true. It's a pretty scary drug. Duo just hasn't figured it out yet. Cocaine has qualities that work as appetite-suppressants and also as an anesthetic which causes a numbing feeling. Also, when cigarettes are smoked, the chemicals and nicotine increase the high that comes from the drug, which is why a lot of users become chain smokers when they are high. The drug causes damage to the nervous system when used for long periods of time and the body easily becomes used to it, making the user need more and more to achieve the same high as their first time. Seizures, strokes, and cardiac arrest are some of the major results of its prolonged use. And as for all of Duo's touching of himself, cocaine can also produce sexual related side effects, the body becoming hypersensitive to touch.
Now that you are all somewhat educated, I will leave you with a piece of advice, don't do coke, it's a bad idea all around. Thanks again for all the reviews and expect updates asap.
Angel
Warnings: Angst, swearing, LEMON, YAOI, OOCNESS, WAFF, prostitution, slight Relena-bashing, possible violence, Duo POV, darkness, violent sex, possible suicide attempts, drug/alcohol abuse, etc...
Author's note: I would like to thank Niu and dark_amathyst for their supportive reviews. I was a little afraid that people wouldn't particularly enjoy this fic, so thanks for letting me know that at least a few people would like for me to continue it. Thanks again guys. Also, thanks to Yacumo for your review. I assure you that Duo will not be saved by Wufei. This fic is a 1X2 and will remain one. ^.~
Entry 2: Like a Well-Oiled Machine
(Duo)
I sat on the frigid cold floor for what could have been hours, not really knowing or caring how long exactly. I sobbed wretchedly on the floor below the window, my hands over my damp face, hiding away my shame. How could I keep letting him do this to me? I didn't know why it was so hard to stop him, not that I was strong enough to actually force him off of me, but I couldn't understand why my body betrayed me the way it did. It always reacted to his brutal touch, craving it even. I felt sick.
I stood up on shaky legs, wincing at the twinge of burning pain in my backside, the small of my back aching with bruising. I sighed heavily, gritting my teeth against the obvious pain that radiated from my lower body. He'd raped me. Wasn't that what they called it when someone fucked you without your permission? Not that anyone would believe it if I told them, especially not when my body shuddered in anticipation of his touch like some rutting slut.
I stumbled towards the seedy bathroom, closing the door as much as it would allow, not actually clicking shut properly. I groaned as I looked at my reflection in the cracked and filthy mirror. My hair was hardly held within the confines of my plait and my eyes looked bloodshot from my tears, red-rimmed and puffy, my neck and shoulder littered with bite marks and hideous burgundy hickies. I looked away angrily, not able to see the evidence of him on me.
I leaned over and turned the shower on, the water sputtering indignantly for a few moments before turning on fully, the water spraying sporadically out of the rusted shower head. I hissed as I stepped beneath the chilly onslaught as it gradually warmed up. Stupid old pipes! I cursed inwardly as I stood shivering. The remains of his sticky semen mixed with my blood ran down the insides of my thighs and slid into the drain in a milky, pinkish stream.
I closed my eyes against the sight of it, the evidence being to much to handle. I scrubbed at my skin furiously, hoping to get the feel of his lingering hands off of me and the smell of his sweat. God damn him. I hated him and I loved him. I wished he'd just leave me be. He had her now, why couldn't he just let me go?
I'd loved Heero for ages, developing the crush when we'd first met during the war a few years ago. And at eighteen I still loved him, the crush had developed into so much more. It was so complex and so fucked up now. I hated what he did to me and I hated it even more that I let him do it. How could I let him do the awful things he did to me. I didn't comprehend why he even needed to. He had gone with Relena and he had stayed with her. I didn't get why he couldn't stop seeing me, tracking me down and ruining me the way he did. I figured he must have been some kind of sadistic bastard, just loving to watch me break.
And every time I thought he'd finally be gone for good, after months of not hearing from him or seeing him, he'd just show up out of the blue. I'd wake up to the pounding on my door and thinking it was a customer or a disgruntled friend, I'd answer the damn thing. There he'd be, standing before me in my doorway looking lost and desperate. I'd even move around in hopes of losing him. Every time he came to me, he told me it'd be the last time, like he actually believed it would be and I believed him. God knows why I believed him, but I did. And I'd think, 'Thank God.' But then just weeks or even months later he'd return, hoping for another quick roll in the hay.
I was pathetic. I was a whore, a prostitute and I didn't even charge the bastard for the things he did to me. I damn well should have too. Half of my johns weren't even as rough as him. I unraveled my hair as I thought about it. I hadn't wanted things to turn out like this, hell I hadn't even thought they could turn out like this. I always assumed we'd just stay together, the five of us after the war had ended, but I was naïve. I knew it.
I struggled to untangle the knots that had formed throughout my long hair and not for the first time, I contemplated ripping it all out of my head. I couldn't stand myself. How was it that I had fallen so completely low? How had I lost all contact with the ones I called friends, the ones I'd trusted with my life? And how in the hell had the one I'd called my partner end up raping me on a regular basis?
The questions were not easily answered and it wasn't the first time I had asked myself them. In fact, I asked them pretty frequently, almost daily. I turned off the spray and stepped out, dripping water carelessly over the grimy tiled floor of the tiny bathroom before making my way back out into the dank room. I tried to hold my breath, refusing to breath in the aroma of sex and Heero. My stomach turned as I failed miserably, inhaling a deep breath. “I hate you,” I repeated even though he was long gone, seeing Heero's forgotten wallet laying on the floor by the bed. I laughed bitterly to myself. That meant he'd be back again soon.
I shook my head, dressing in a ragged t-shirt and a pair of worn out black jeans that were faded to a dark gray with the knees ripped out and a hole in the back pocket. I sighed, bending over stiffly, my abdomen rebelling against the movement painfully, to pick up the brown leather wallet from my dirty carpeted floor. I rifled through it, perusing Heero's various cards and Ids. I gave another huff of hot air as I browsed his money compartment, the bills catching my eye. He wouldn't miss a few, I decided before delving in and taking out a couple hundreds.
I grinned. It served the asshole right for leaving the damn thing hear in the first place. Besides, I figured he owed me. I moved awkwardly through the room, picking up one boot by the bed and the other by the door before yanking them on and grabbing my keys, shoving them into my pocket with the bills. I headed out the door, locking it behind myself, leaving Heero's half-empty wallet on the night table. I took the stairs two at a time as I left.
I ambled out onto the lonely street, heading for the drug district instinctively. I needed a little pick me up now that Heero was gone. I stopped at a convenience store and picked up a pack of cigarettes before making my way to the familiar square of streets where the dealers and the junkies hung out. I searched for someone I recognized, only having to look for a few minutes before picking Randy out of the alleyway. He stood under the orange light of a flickering street lamp.
I walked towards him quickly, almost desperately. I wasn't some junky, but I needed it bad. I wondered what he'd have for me this time. I hoped it was something that would get me right fucked out of my mind, so I could forget for just a little bit. I was glad it was Randy; he always had good shit on him. Always. I smiled at him charmingly. Randy was a good dealer, not to mention he had a thing for me. He wasn't all that bad to look at really either. He was tall, probably like six foot at least and he had a pretty stocky build, muscular and all. He had pretty green eyes that spoke of like on the streets and nice lips with dirty sand-coloured hair that fell in jagged spikes around his face and neck.
He smirked as I came towards him. “Well, well, look what the gutter spit up this evening,” he said good naturedly, looking me up and down, a hungry glint in his eyes. I grinned and shrugged.
“How's business Randy?” I asked, watching him and lowering my lashes sensually. Randy was an easy one to play. He shifted from one foot to the other.
“It's been good, but I've been lonely since you stopped comin' 'round,” he answered, his eyes catching mine easily.
“What you got for me tonight Randy?” I questioned, glancing at his coat, knowing he must have his stash in the pockets. He shrugged one shoulder.
“That's a loaded question Angel. You know I got several things for you,” he replied cheekily, waggling his eyebrows suggestively at me. I shook my head.
“I mean something that will make me fly,” I elaborated impatiently. He smirked.
“I could take you flying baby, just say the word,” he said laughingly. I chuckled as well.
“You try too hard, anyone ever told you that?” I questioned, raising a single cinnamon shaded brow at him.
“Never have to try this hard for anyone but you Angel,” he answered, using my street name again. I shook my head once more, smiling.
“Yeah, yeah, so you say. So really, you got anything or what?” I asked bluntly, trying to get back on topic. Randy nodded.
“Yeah, but it's gonna cost ya'. You got cash?” he asked, watching my, his sea-green eyes focusing on my crotch indiscreetly. I snorted.
“Yeah, I do so pull your eyes back up to my face sweetheart,” I replied, crossing my arms over my flat stomach.
“Aww, you're no fun Angel. When you gonna let me take you to heaven without this shit?” he inquired, pulling a little baggy of white powder from his coat pocket and waving it in front of me.
“Maybe when you are a paying customer,” I answered, snatching the little bag from his fingers and looking at it in the light. “What is this, coke?”
He nodded, “Yeah, fine cut too, not even laced with anything. And what if I don't charge you nothing for this?” he said suggestively. I raised both brows. Cocaine this fine and pure wasn't cheap. Where did Randy get off giving it to me for free?
“What, you want to fuck me for just a bit of blow?” I reiterated, hoping to comprehend what a great deal it would be.
“Yeah. You interested Angel?” his voice was excited despite his best attempts to sound casual.
“Maybe,” I said unsure if I should or shouldn't make the deal.
“Look Angel, you know I've been wanting your tail for months. I'll make you a deal. Whenever you want something to make you fly, I'll give it to you for free, you just let me have a little taste of you now and then. How's that sound?” he was quite the salesman, I thought as I looked him up and down.
“Whenever I want it?” I questioned skeptically. He nodded.
“Whenever you want baby,” he agreed, putting out his hand. I nibbled my lip for a second in thought, weighing my options. Drugs weren't exactly, especially not the good stuff that Randy sold. I smiled after a moment and nodded my head. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up. I shook his hand.
“You got a deal blondie, but you can't play with me tonight,” I said, gazing at the taller man in the dark blue coat. He cocked his head to the side.
“Why's that?” he asked curiously, stepping closer to me. I shrugged, standing my ground firmly.
“Well, I had a bit of a rough customer earlier. Give me two days recuperate and you can come by,” I answered simply as I dug into my coat for a scrap piece of paper and a pen. I ended up scribbling the address on a ripped piece of the cigarette package and handed it to the blond. He grinned wolfishly, lust swirling in the green depths of his eyes.
“Alright Angel, I'll see you then,” he acknowledged. I nodded, bidding him a farewell with a wink.
I walked away from him, swaying a little, the cocaine tucked safely away in my pocket for when I got back home. I'd never tried it before, but I'd heard good things about it. I practically jogged, mind you a little oddly with the soreness in my ass, back to my motel room. I tried my damndest not to think of Heero either, not that I succeeded.
When I got back to my place, it still smelled like his stupid cologne and the gunpowder scent that never seemed to leave him. I grumbled to myself as I turned on the lamp, taking off the shade so that it would be brighter and fining some kind off hard surface which ended up being a hardcover copy of the bible that was seemingly mandatory in every motel and hotel room. I used one of the laminated cards in Heero's wallet to separate the blow into lines and then I used the hollow tube from my pen to snort it off the good old book. My nose felt dry almost immediately and I rubbed it in irritation, but nothing happened at first. I packed up the rest of the coke back into the clear baggy and stuck it back in my front pocket.
It took almost fifteen minutes before I felt the drug take effect. I lit a cigarette, taking a drag and letting the poisonous smoke fill my lungs easily, enjoying the euphoria that had come over me thoroughly. My body felt numb, the anesthetic quality of the drug taking effect, my limbs tingling with every touch. It was an interesting and completely exciting experience. My skin felt like it was electric even as it itched slightly. My mind fogged, my thoughts muddled, meshing and mixing together in sparking contrast. I groaned in my euphoric state, my entire body feeling far too sensitive suddenly as the nicotine from the cigarette increased my high, making the cocaine more potent. I laid back on the single, rumpled bed in the corner of the room, my fingers running over my skin ticklishly, sending shivers through me. I was feeling way too damn good to notice much of anything as the hours ticked by.
By the time I came back to myself, it was halfway through the day and Heero still hadn't come for his wallet. I wondered idly if he had left it on purpose, so he'd have an excuse to come back, probably just so he could fuck me raw again. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, rubbing the heels of my palms into them, already craving the euphoric feeling of the coke in my system again. That stuff was addictive, just the feel of it under my skin. I groaned, sighing heavily as thoughts came back to me.
Heero was so different than he used to, or at least that's what I tried to convince myself of. But the truth was that he was the same as he'd always been. He was like a well-oiled machine. He never changed; it wasn't in his programming. He was all gears and wiring after all. I chuckled, imagining that Heero was actually metal beneath his skin, even though it wasn't possible. It was awful thinking about him the way I did. I was like some kind of lovesick schoolgirl the way I obsessed over him. He was gorgeous with his messy dark locks, sharp oriental features, tall, tanned, muscular body and those stunning Prussian blue eyes. Why couldn't he have a personality to match his looks? I was so unfair.
He hadn't always treated me quite the way he did now. He had always been a jerk to me, sure, but he'd never raped me during the time we'd spent together in the past. I wondered what had changed. Where had the lonely 'Perfect Soldier' of the Wing Gundam gone? I'd always assumed that Heero would be different, maybe more normal after all the war shit ended, but he was worse if anything. He played Relena off as his pure princess, pure as snow, she was. And he let her hang off his arm, looking to all the world like a perfect royal couple. The princess and the knight in shining armor. I snorted. Yeah right!
Heero was no knight in shining anything. He was a cold, heartless bastard and he liked it that way. No one knew that he and Relena's relationship was nothing but a cheap farce, some kind of sad play with easily performed roles for the two of them. They were like puppeteers with the whole world on their strings. It was sickening to think how easily they fooled everyone. I wasn't so simple. I knew better. I knew the dark side of Heero Yuy.
I knew he never fucked Relena they way he fucked me. I knew he never even talked dirtily to her, his sweet little girl. She'd be appalled if she knew the ways and places he'd fucked me in. She'd look away if she could see the way he touched me so ruthlessly. His love was the most brutal. She be sick if she could see the marks he marred my skin with, if she could hear the names he called me when I wouldn't spread for him. He never failed to remind me of my chosen career as a whore, not thet he ever had to pay me. The little shit took what he wanted for free.
I wondered in the back of my mind what excuse he'd tell her this time, how easily she would gobble up every word he spouted. It was pretty ridiculous to think that a woman as intelligent and politically sound as Relena would fall for such cheap excuses. But what was it they said about love, oh yes, it was blind. And it was so blind that if you were trapped within it's grasp, that you'd even let the one you loved fuck you raw and leave you bleeding every time they came to call. You'd let them dirty you up right good and still be craving more.
I spoke from experience on that one. I'd loved Heero for so long, it felt like there never was a time that I didn't. It made me ill to think that I let him do whatever he wanted to me as long as I could pretend that he loved me back for just a little while. But in reality, if you loved someone, you certainly didn't rape them and fuck them without preparation. Heero was one sick son of a bitch, that was for sure. And he knew I loved him, that was probably the worst part of the whole ordeal. He knew it and he got some fucked up thrill from exploiting it, humiliating me and using me like some kind of toy, like a little doll.
God I hated him for making me feel the way I did. He made me feel ashamed of myself, sickened by my own reflection. He made me remember what I was, nothing more than some common whore, just like I had been meant to be. It's not like I was good for much else anyway. Nobody wanted a washed up Gundam pilot these days. I suppose I could have done the scrapyard thing with Hilde, and I tried to, but the first time Heero had shown up, I knew I couldn't let her see the things he did to me. I ran after that and I never stopped, not that Heero didn't find me every time. I wondered when he'd finally quit chasing me. Whenever he finally got bored with me, I supposed or maybe when I was dead in a ditch somewhere, overdosed on drugs or killed by a john who went to far.
I sat up, setting up another line, hoping to rid myself of the thoughts that were overpowering my brain. I didn't waste time snorting the fine whitish powder into the membranes of my nose, sniffing several times as though my nose were running and I supposed it probably was. I lit up another cigarette, assuming it would produce the same result as the night before. And it did.
Euphoria was some kind of blessing, cutting off my thought processes, making my body float. I touched myself again, trailing my own hands and fingers over my body, enjoying the tingling shock waves that shot through me with every caress. I hardly remembered the rest of the day, even though I was sure I did nothing but touch myself and snort coke. I didn't even eat, the drug suppressing my appetite. I was glad; I didn't feel like going out for food anyways, even though I had money for it. Heero's money that is.
TBC....
There is the second chapter. I will just let all you readers know that I plan on hoping back and forth between Heero and Duo'd POV for alternating chapters, at least for the time being. I hope you all enjoyed the second installment and keep the lovely reviews coming. Also, the facts about the cocaine are true. It's a pretty scary drug. Duo just hasn't figured it out yet. Cocaine has qualities that work as appetite-suppressants and also as an anesthetic which causes a numbing feeling. Also, when cigarettes are smoked, the chemicals and nicotine increase the high that comes from the drug, which is why a lot of users become chain smokers when they are high. The drug causes damage to the nervous system when used for long periods of time and the body easily becomes used to it, making the user need more and more to achieve the same high as their first time. Seizures, strokes, and cardiac arrest are some of the major results of its prolonged use. And as for all of Duo's touching of himself, cocaine can also produce sexual related side effects, the body becoming hypersensitive to touch.
Now that you are all somewhat educated, I will leave you with a piece of advice, don't do coke, it's a bad idea all around. Thanks again for all the reviews and expect updates asap.
Angel