Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Wayward Souls ❯ Entry 3: Like a Perfect Princess ( Chapter 3 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Xander B 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Angst / Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 07.23.2008 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 470 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Angst / Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 07.23.2008 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 470 | Status: Completed
Wayward Souls
Warnings: Angst, swearing, LEMON, YAOI, OOCNESS, WAFF, prostitution, slight Relena-bashing, possible violence, Heero POV, darkness, violent sex, possible suicide attempts, drug/alcohol abuse, etc...
Entry 3: Like a Perfect Princess
(Heero)
The drive home was silent, no sound but the inhaling and exhaling of my breath against the backdrop of outdoor noise. I ignored the sound, my mind conjuring flashbacks of what I'd just done to the one I had once called my best friend. It was disturbing to think that I could do the things I did to him. I sighed heavily, desperately trying to convince myself that I had done nothing wrong. Duo was a prostitute after all. It's not like he wasn't used to this kind of thing.
I tried to push the thoughts to the back of my subconscious, refusing to pay them any more attention. I had other things to think about, like what I was going to say to Relena when I got home. She was probably worried sick. I couldn't believe how easily I would be able to set her concerns to rest. She would hardly bat a lash at my excuses, taking them for truth. I shook my head. It was sickening how simple it was for me to use them both.
I drove the distance back to our palace, the overly decorated mansion making my eyes ache. I parked the car in the underground lot as per usual and locked it on my way out before taking the elevator upstairs to where my girlfriend would be waiting patiently for me. I smiled grimly. What kind of boyfriend was I? The sick kind, obviously. I wasn't even sure if I loved her. Well, of course I loved her, but I wasn't sure in what way.
I supposed it was in the same way and older brother loved and protected a little sister. It's not like I wanted to fuck her or anything, not that she wouldn't want me to. I just couldn't imagine doing what I did to Duo to her. It made my stomach turn just thinking of the possibility. She was too innocent, too naive. I sighed again as the elevator pinged, alerting me to the fact that I had arrived on the ground floor to our luxurious home.
I toed off my brown shoes and padded down the hallway before taking the enormous staircase upstairs to our wing. I knew where she'd be waiting for me, in our bedroom, as always. She never failed to be in there when I came home late and she was never asleep. I opened the door noiselessly and wandered into our large room, the huge canopied oak bed occupying the middle of the room and most of one wall, an entertainment area just across from the foot of it and a gigantic armoire next to the balcony doors on the left side of it. Relena sat in a plush chair to the right of it in front of a desk that held her reports and mine.
She looked relieved when I entered the room, sighing as though she'd been holding her breath since I'd last left. I wondered idly what she thought about when I was away. I didn't ask her of course, I just wondered silently. She moved to stand, her silky fine sandy gold hair falling softly against her shoulders and back. She was beautiful, which made things ever stranger for me. I didn't understand why I didn't want her the way I wanted him.
Relena was far from unattractive. He face was thin with sharp aristocratic features, smooth skin and bright cerulean blue eyes. She was curved like women should be with full breasts and hips. I couldn't figure out why I didn't want to jump her. It's not like she would even object if I tried. She often tried to seduce me, but my excuse was always that I wanted to be wed first. What a poorly plotted plan to keep her at bay. What would happen once we were actually married, when I was obligated to touch her like that?
She smiled brilliantly at me, her straight, white teeth showing her happiness that I was once again home safely with her. I smiled falsely back at her, hiding any thoughts streaming through my tortured psyche. How much therapy did I need, really? It was a question I asked myself often, but never answered for fear of the truth. She hugged me, slim, pinkish arms wrapping around my neck easily as she tiptoed to reach me. Her rosy lips pressed against mine chastely in greeting. I held her as well, letting my arms pull her in, resting around her tiny waist, not as tiny as his, but still thin. He lips were plumper than his, but I chose not to recall what they felt like.
I fulfilled the kiss dutifully before releasing her. She smiled happily. “So how was your drive?” she questioned easily, her girlish voice no longer grating on my ears. I shrugged nonchalantly.
“It was peaceful. What were you doing while I was away?” I inquired lightly, knowing she would take the bait and change the subject from me to her. She was just like a perfect princess, loving the spotlight.
“Oh, I read a bit and watched that program on the history network, you know the one that they made about OZ and the Gundams. It was very interesting, although I don't think they got all of their facts correct about the five of you,” she spoke thoughtfully. She was probably right about that. The media rarely got their facts straight when discussing what had taken place during the war, and just what kind of roles we Gundam pilots had played. I nodded to her words, acknowledging what she'd said.
“You know how the media is Relena; they hardly ever know what they're talking about,” I replied, moving to peel off my shirt and undo my pants before tossing them down the laundry shoot. She watched me shyly, stealing glances from the corners of her eyes. I smirked slightly. “I'm going to shower, we can talk after if you like,” I offered with a soft smile, mostly for her benefit.
“Of course,” she said enthusiastically, a bright smile on her lips. I nodded and headed for the bathroom suite off the side of our room. I thought about her as I stood beneath the heady spray of the spacious shower.
She was still such a little girl to me, even though we were both the same age, both considered adults now at the age of eighteen. She still seemed so soft, so unused. It was odd to think that she wanted the same kinds of things that I did. How could I imagine that she wanted to have sex? And certainly not the way that I did.
I wondered what she would think if she knew about Duo, if she knew the way that I treated him. I wondered what she might say if I told her, if he would even believe it. She liked Duo; I remembered that much. I pondered if she would still like him if she knew that he got to fell me inside him? I thought about it and I pondered whether or not she'd blame him for it. It was strange to think that she might.
I washed sufficiently before stepping out of the shower and drying myself with the far too plush towels. I wrapped one securely about my waist before returning to our room, not even thinking anything of my partial nudity in front of Relena. I walked immediately to the armoire and opened the drawers on the bottom, picking out a pair of pajama bottoms quickly. I could feel her watching me, those pretty blue eyes catching all of my movements. I wondered what kind of naughty thoughts she was having as she gazed at my body. I dressed quickly, turning my back to her.
“Heero, what are those?” she asked suddenly. I had no idea what she was speaking of. I turned to face her, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
“What are what?” I questioned for clarification. I didn't see anything. She pointed to my back.
“Those marks on your back. They look like scratches or cuts or something. You weren't fighting with anyone were you?” she sounded so worried. I frowned.
'God damn him' I cursed inwardly, realizing what marks she must have been referring to. The little slut had left claw marks down my back. I was furious. He'd probably left them there on purpose, knowing she'd see them. I collected myself, reigning in my temper before answering her.
“Oh, they must be from earlier when I was fixing the car, I scraped my back on the concrete of the garage. It's nothing to worry about,” I lied easily, not breaking eye contact with her. She blinked at me for a moment, taking in the information.
“You should be more careful Heero. What if you had gotten an infection?” she asked rhetorically. I shrugged even though she really wasn't expecting an answer. She sighed and shook her head in that 'boys will be boys' kind of way. I grinned at her to put her at ease and climbed onto the bed.
“Why don't you come lay with me and we'll talk for a bit?” I suggested, hoping to distract her. It worked, like I assumed it would. She beamed as she crawled into the downy bed with me. I even put my arm around her, letting her rest her head against my chest.
“Heero?” she called quietly.
“Hm?” I acknowledged.
“I'm planning to have a small get together to reminisce about the war. I'm going to invite all of the Gundam pilots to come. I want to see them all again. It's been so long after all. And won't it be so nice to catch up with them?” she informed exuberantly, happy with the plan she'd concocted. I wasn't so sure I wanted Duo to come here. It would be too tempting, not to mention that he wasn't exactly guest material these days.
“That sounds nice,” I replied supportively, smearing a fake smile on my face. She snuggled closer to me, pleased that I agreed with her.
“I just need to get in touch with them all, Wufei, Quatre and Trowa shouldn't be too hard to get in contact with since Wufei works with the Preventers still and Quatre has his company,” she thought for a moment, nibbling on her fingertip, “I'm pretty sure that Quatre can get in touch with Trowa for me too.”
I nodded, running a hand through her hair simply to keep myself from fidgeting than any sign of affection. Relena leaned into the caress and sighed contentedly. She was living in such a fantasy world, not that I had led her to believe it was anything but real.
“How do you think I'll get a hold of Duo? Do you have any idea where he might be Heero? He's no longer at Hilde's,” she spoke glumly. I breathed in a deep breath before speaking.
“Well, I could probably find him for you,” I replied softly as if I didn't already know exactly where he was.
Relena smiled widely, completely ecstatic that I was willing to help her out with her plot. I moved a little to turn off the light. I'd let her think whatever she wanted. It's not like it would do her any harm or anything. I held her as she settled in.
“Goodnight Heero,” she yawned as she laid her head in the crook of my neck. I sighed.
“Goodnight Relena. Sleep well,” I said quietly, letting my body relax, but stay on the alert just in case.
It was after all my job to make sure nothing happened to her highness. I hardly dreamed that night, images of Duo against the glass of his window swirling throughout my mind every now and again. I didn't move as much as I could so that I wouldn't disturb Relena as she slept, but I was restless. I wasn't sure I could handle Duo and Relena at the same time. What if he said something to her? Would he do that?
I was so concerned about it that I nearly didn't wake up when the alarm went off. I jerked as though it had actually startled me. I let out a breath and got up, readying myself for work swiftly. I searched around for my wallet, going through the pockets of my jeans from the night before. It wasn't anywhere that I looked. I even went into the bathroom in search of it. I grumbled to myself as I tried to retrace my steps since I'd last seen it.
Belatedly I came to the conclusion that I had left it at Duo's. I slammed things around in the bathroom angrily. How had I been so careless? I couldn't believe I'd actually left it there.
That meant that I would have to go back and see him sooner than I had planned. I wondered what he would do when I showed up so soon. Maybe he'd be frightened or maybe he would be pissed. Or maybe he would be expecting it. It was hard to know for sure. Duo was always a bit of an enigma.
I huffed as I left Relena to ready herself in our room and made my way to the security office. I checked all of the necessary computers and cameras before barking orders to the watch guards and the other security personnel. I thought it was humorous; they must have believed that I was such an asshole and I thought that they were right.
Throughout the day, I reached for my wallet more than once, cursing every time I did. I'd have to go back to his motel as soon as possible, otherwise Relena would become curious enough to ask where the bloody thing had got off to. It was obvious that I had lost it.
The guilt had been thrust to the back of my mind, once again becoming nothing more than a nagging feeling. I didn't even need to spend time justifying it to myself. It was as though it was becoming easier and easier. What sort of sicko did that make me? How did raping someone become easier? How did it become simpler to forget what I did to the one who loved me unconditionally?
I still didn't fully comprehend why Duo let me do the things I did to him. It wasn't like he couldn't fight back, not that he would succeed in throwing me off, but I mean, he could try to take legal action pr something. I wondered if he ever thought about it. Did he think of sending me to prison? Would he do it given the chance?
I somehow doubted it. He hadn't done it yet and I didn't think he ever would; he was in too deep now. He couldn't escape me, not even if he wanted to.
TBC...
Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. There will be more to come soon, I promise. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks.
Angel
Warnings: Angst, swearing, LEMON, YAOI, OOCNESS, WAFF, prostitution, slight Relena-bashing, possible violence, Heero POV, darkness, violent sex, possible suicide attempts, drug/alcohol abuse, etc...
Entry 3: Like a Perfect Princess
(Heero)
The drive home was silent, no sound but the inhaling and exhaling of my breath against the backdrop of outdoor noise. I ignored the sound, my mind conjuring flashbacks of what I'd just done to the one I had once called my best friend. It was disturbing to think that I could do the things I did to him. I sighed heavily, desperately trying to convince myself that I had done nothing wrong. Duo was a prostitute after all. It's not like he wasn't used to this kind of thing.
I tried to push the thoughts to the back of my subconscious, refusing to pay them any more attention. I had other things to think about, like what I was going to say to Relena when I got home. She was probably worried sick. I couldn't believe how easily I would be able to set her concerns to rest. She would hardly bat a lash at my excuses, taking them for truth. I shook my head. It was sickening how simple it was for me to use them both.
I drove the distance back to our palace, the overly decorated mansion making my eyes ache. I parked the car in the underground lot as per usual and locked it on my way out before taking the elevator upstairs to where my girlfriend would be waiting patiently for me. I smiled grimly. What kind of boyfriend was I? The sick kind, obviously. I wasn't even sure if I loved her. Well, of course I loved her, but I wasn't sure in what way.
I supposed it was in the same way and older brother loved and protected a little sister. It's not like I wanted to fuck her or anything, not that she wouldn't want me to. I just couldn't imagine doing what I did to Duo to her. It made my stomach turn just thinking of the possibility. She was too innocent, too naive. I sighed again as the elevator pinged, alerting me to the fact that I had arrived on the ground floor to our luxurious home.
I toed off my brown shoes and padded down the hallway before taking the enormous staircase upstairs to our wing. I knew where she'd be waiting for me, in our bedroom, as always. She never failed to be in there when I came home late and she was never asleep. I opened the door noiselessly and wandered into our large room, the huge canopied oak bed occupying the middle of the room and most of one wall, an entertainment area just across from the foot of it and a gigantic armoire next to the balcony doors on the left side of it. Relena sat in a plush chair to the right of it in front of a desk that held her reports and mine.
She looked relieved when I entered the room, sighing as though she'd been holding her breath since I'd last left. I wondered idly what she thought about when I was away. I didn't ask her of course, I just wondered silently. She moved to stand, her silky fine sandy gold hair falling softly against her shoulders and back. She was beautiful, which made things ever stranger for me. I didn't understand why I didn't want her the way I wanted him.
Relena was far from unattractive. He face was thin with sharp aristocratic features, smooth skin and bright cerulean blue eyes. She was curved like women should be with full breasts and hips. I couldn't figure out why I didn't want to jump her. It's not like she would even object if I tried. She often tried to seduce me, but my excuse was always that I wanted to be wed first. What a poorly plotted plan to keep her at bay. What would happen once we were actually married, when I was obligated to touch her like that?
She smiled brilliantly at me, her straight, white teeth showing her happiness that I was once again home safely with her. I smiled falsely back at her, hiding any thoughts streaming through my tortured psyche. How much therapy did I need, really? It was a question I asked myself often, but never answered for fear of the truth. She hugged me, slim, pinkish arms wrapping around my neck easily as she tiptoed to reach me. Her rosy lips pressed against mine chastely in greeting. I held her as well, letting my arms pull her in, resting around her tiny waist, not as tiny as his, but still thin. He lips were plumper than his, but I chose not to recall what they felt like.
I fulfilled the kiss dutifully before releasing her. She smiled happily. “So how was your drive?” she questioned easily, her girlish voice no longer grating on my ears. I shrugged nonchalantly.
“It was peaceful. What were you doing while I was away?” I inquired lightly, knowing she would take the bait and change the subject from me to her. She was just like a perfect princess, loving the spotlight.
“Oh, I read a bit and watched that program on the history network, you know the one that they made about OZ and the Gundams. It was very interesting, although I don't think they got all of their facts correct about the five of you,” she spoke thoughtfully. She was probably right about that. The media rarely got their facts straight when discussing what had taken place during the war, and just what kind of roles we Gundam pilots had played. I nodded to her words, acknowledging what she'd said.
“You know how the media is Relena; they hardly ever know what they're talking about,” I replied, moving to peel off my shirt and undo my pants before tossing them down the laundry shoot. She watched me shyly, stealing glances from the corners of her eyes. I smirked slightly. “I'm going to shower, we can talk after if you like,” I offered with a soft smile, mostly for her benefit.
“Of course,” she said enthusiastically, a bright smile on her lips. I nodded and headed for the bathroom suite off the side of our room. I thought about her as I stood beneath the heady spray of the spacious shower.
She was still such a little girl to me, even though we were both the same age, both considered adults now at the age of eighteen. She still seemed so soft, so unused. It was odd to think that she wanted the same kinds of things that I did. How could I imagine that she wanted to have sex? And certainly not the way that I did.
I wondered what she would think if she knew about Duo, if she knew the way that I treated him. I wondered what she might say if I told her, if he would even believe it. She liked Duo; I remembered that much. I pondered if she would still like him if she knew that he got to fell me inside him? I thought about it and I pondered whether or not she'd blame him for it. It was strange to think that she might.
I washed sufficiently before stepping out of the shower and drying myself with the far too plush towels. I wrapped one securely about my waist before returning to our room, not even thinking anything of my partial nudity in front of Relena. I walked immediately to the armoire and opened the drawers on the bottom, picking out a pair of pajama bottoms quickly. I could feel her watching me, those pretty blue eyes catching all of my movements. I wondered what kind of naughty thoughts she was having as she gazed at my body. I dressed quickly, turning my back to her.
“Heero, what are those?” she asked suddenly. I had no idea what she was speaking of. I turned to face her, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
“What are what?” I questioned for clarification. I didn't see anything. She pointed to my back.
“Those marks on your back. They look like scratches or cuts or something. You weren't fighting with anyone were you?” she sounded so worried. I frowned.
'God damn him' I cursed inwardly, realizing what marks she must have been referring to. The little slut had left claw marks down my back. I was furious. He'd probably left them there on purpose, knowing she'd see them. I collected myself, reigning in my temper before answering her.
“Oh, they must be from earlier when I was fixing the car, I scraped my back on the concrete of the garage. It's nothing to worry about,” I lied easily, not breaking eye contact with her. She blinked at me for a moment, taking in the information.
“You should be more careful Heero. What if you had gotten an infection?” she asked rhetorically. I shrugged even though she really wasn't expecting an answer. She sighed and shook her head in that 'boys will be boys' kind of way. I grinned at her to put her at ease and climbed onto the bed.
“Why don't you come lay with me and we'll talk for a bit?” I suggested, hoping to distract her. It worked, like I assumed it would. She beamed as she crawled into the downy bed with me. I even put my arm around her, letting her rest her head against my chest.
“Heero?” she called quietly.
“Hm?” I acknowledged.
“I'm planning to have a small get together to reminisce about the war. I'm going to invite all of the Gundam pilots to come. I want to see them all again. It's been so long after all. And won't it be so nice to catch up with them?” she informed exuberantly, happy with the plan she'd concocted. I wasn't so sure I wanted Duo to come here. It would be too tempting, not to mention that he wasn't exactly guest material these days.
“That sounds nice,” I replied supportively, smearing a fake smile on my face. She snuggled closer to me, pleased that I agreed with her.
“I just need to get in touch with them all, Wufei, Quatre and Trowa shouldn't be too hard to get in contact with since Wufei works with the Preventers still and Quatre has his company,” she thought for a moment, nibbling on her fingertip, “I'm pretty sure that Quatre can get in touch with Trowa for me too.”
I nodded, running a hand through her hair simply to keep myself from fidgeting than any sign of affection. Relena leaned into the caress and sighed contentedly. She was living in such a fantasy world, not that I had led her to believe it was anything but real.
“How do you think I'll get a hold of Duo? Do you have any idea where he might be Heero? He's no longer at Hilde's,” she spoke glumly. I breathed in a deep breath before speaking.
“Well, I could probably find him for you,” I replied softly as if I didn't already know exactly where he was.
Relena smiled widely, completely ecstatic that I was willing to help her out with her plot. I moved a little to turn off the light. I'd let her think whatever she wanted. It's not like it would do her any harm or anything. I held her as she settled in.
“Goodnight Heero,” she yawned as she laid her head in the crook of my neck. I sighed.
“Goodnight Relena. Sleep well,” I said quietly, letting my body relax, but stay on the alert just in case.
It was after all my job to make sure nothing happened to her highness. I hardly dreamed that night, images of Duo against the glass of his window swirling throughout my mind every now and again. I didn't move as much as I could so that I wouldn't disturb Relena as she slept, but I was restless. I wasn't sure I could handle Duo and Relena at the same time. What if he said something to her? Would he do that?
I was so concerned about it that I nearly didn't wake up when the alarm went off. I jerked as though it had actually startled me. I let out a breath and got up, readying myself for work swiftly. I searched around for my wallet, going through the pockets of my jeans from the night before. It wasn't anywhere that I looked. I even went into the bathroom in search of it. I grumbled to myself as I tried to retrace my steps since I'd last seen it.
Belatedly I came to the conclusion that I had left it at Duo's. I slammed things around in the bathroom angrily. How had I been so careless? I couldn't believe I'd actually left it there.
That meant that I would have to go back and see him sooner than I had planned. I wondered what he would do when I showed up so soon. Maybe he'd be frightened or maybe he would be pissed. Or maybe he would be expecting it. It was hard to know for sure. Duo was always a bit of an enigma.
I huffed as I left Relena to ready herself in our room and made my way to the security office. I checked all of the necessary computers and cameras before barking orders to the watch guards and the other security personnel. I thought it was humorous; they must have believed that I was such an asshole and I thought that they were right.
Throughout the day, I reached for my wallet more than once, cursing every time I did. I'd have to go back to his motel as soon as possible, otherwise Relena would become curious enough to ask where the bloody thing had got off to. It was obvious that I had lost it.
The guilt had been thrust to the back of my mind, once again becoming nothing more than a nagging feeling. I didn't even need to spend time justifying it to myself. It was as though it was becoming easier and easier. What sort of sicko did that make me? How did raping someone become easier? How did it become simpler to forget what I did to the one who loved me unconditionally?
I still didn't fully comprehend why Duo let me do the things I did to him. It wasn't like he couldn't fight back, not that he would succeed in throwing me off, but I mean, he could try to take legal action pr something. I wondered if he ever thought about it. Did he think of sending me to prison? Would he do it given the chance?
I somehow doubted it. He hadn't done it yet and I didn't think he ever would; he was in too deep now. He couldn't escape me, not even if he wanted to.
TBC...
Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. There will be more to come soon, I promise. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks.
Angel