Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Wayward Souls ❯ Interlude 1: The Man I Thought I Knew ( Chapter 7 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Wayward SoulsWarnings: Angst, swearing, LEMON, YAOI, OOCNESS, WAFF, prostitution, slight Relena-bashing, possible violence, Heero POV, darkness, violent sex, possible suicide attempts, drug/alcohol abuse, etc...Disclaimer: I own nothing. God, I wish I did. Interlude 1: The Man I Thought I Knew(Relena)When I first met Heero Yuy, I was sure that he needed me. I couldn't believe that he wanted to die in the war, that he thought his life was expendable. No one, especially not a teen-aged boy should think so morbidly. I made it my personal mission to help him, to bring him out of his lonely existence. I was naive then. I loved him from the moment we met, his gun trained on me, blue eyes looking lost and dangerous. I was young then, stupid with childish fairy tales and make believe. When the war ended and he came to me, I was more than willing to let him into my life. I'd wanted him for so long by then. I thought that things would change, that I would be able to change him from the stoic and stony soldier to a loving and compassionate prince. In my fantasies, Heero was the perfect knight in shining armor, and maybe he was, sort of, when he first came to me. It didn't last though; the disappearances began only a few months afterward. At first I believed every word, every excuse, every lie he told me. I wanted so badly to believe in us, in what we could have, but it began taking its toll. Heero would disappear late at night, be gone for hours and come home with strange marks and an air of irritation. He'd withdraw, sometimes for days, for weeks when it first began. I knew what it meant, but I refused to acknowledge it. He never took me as a lover, even though for all intents and purposes, we were more or less a couple. We were even engaged according to public knowledge. That's what I wanted. When I asked why we hadn't moved into the realm of lovers, Heero said, so sincerely too, that he wanted to wait until we were married. I accepted it as truth, but the nagging voice of doubt in the back of my mind was doing it's best to convince me otherwise. He was obviously seeing someone else. There were too many loopholes in his stories, too many excuses for his absences. He must have thought me so stupid, since he tried to convince me that the long scratches on his back were scrapes. I know what scrapes look like and the long, winding, angry red markings were anything, but scrapes. But I allowed it to go on. I was too afraid, afraid of losing him, of being alone, of knowing that he didn't truly love me. Then, a strange thing happened, Heero and I became lovers. I had hoped that giving my innocence to Heero would prove to him how much he meant to me, but I couldn't help, but feel he was somewhere else the entire time we made love. And I hated him. How could he use me in such a way? I wanted to confront him, ask him who his whore was on the side, but I was not brought up to be so crass. Instead, I planned to use the reunion I had orchestrated in order to perhaps understand him better or at the very least to be rid of him. I wanted to speak to the only people who understood Heero Yuy more than I did. The other Gundam Pilots knew him better than anyone, especially Duo. I had once been jealous of Duo's close bond with Heero, but I had since grown out of such childish envies. Duo was now what I considered to be a close personal friend, even if we didn't see each other often. I looked forward to seeing him again.Heero's behavior after he went to meet with Duo was strange and led up to our first sexual encounter which later struck me as odd. I brushed it off, opting to wait and speak with the long haired man when he arrived for the reunion. I wasn't expecting him to bring someone with him, but I was happy to see him not alone. Duo deserved to be loved. I had to wait until late into the night to speak with Duo privately; what I wanted to speak to him about was for his ears only, not those of Heero or Duos' new companion. I took him into my private study and sat him down on the reading sofa, seating myself next to him closely. He seemed a little distracted so I called his name and held his hands to steady my own as his attention turned fully to me. I felt like I was about to confess a deep dark secret and I suppose I was in a way. “I–I think Heero's having an affair,” I'd finally said it, getting the secret out into the open; it felt like a weight being lifted. Relief washed through me. Duo's eyes went impossibly wide, making them look brighter than usual. “What do you mean?” he asked softly. I nibbled my lip.“He's been disappearing randomly since he first came here, but lately it's become so frequent and the marks he comes home with... I mean, he must think I'm some kind of idiot not to notice, to believe that they are scrapes when they are clearly nail marks. And we finally made love for the first time just last week, but it felt like he wasn't there the whole time. I know it; he's been seeing someone else. Tell me I'm not crazy Duo?” my voice rose in pitch and his hands squeezed mine comfortingly. “You're not crazy love,” he replied with a sad smile. I pulled my hands away and covered my face with them, tears burning in my eyes. I'd known it all along, but who knew admitting it would be so devastating. “How could I be so foolish?”Duo sighed, sidling closer to me and wrapping a warm arm around my shoulders. “You're not foolish, just--” he paused for a second, “Hopeful.” I sobbed then, my shoulders shaking with the force of it. Duo whispered softly to me.“Heero's always been a bit of an asshole. You deserve better,” he said confidently. I smiled through my tears, sniffling. I was glad I had told Duo. He was always so good at comforting people. “What am I going to do?” “Well, first you're going to give me a hug, then we're gonna have some tea and a few laughs, then we're gonna go to bed,” he grinned brightly and it was contagious, my watery smile turning into a grin as well. How did he always know just what to do?“Duo, how do you always know just what to say to make things look brighter?” I asked, leaning against him and wiping at my eyes with the sleeves of my pajamas. “Just talented, I guess,” he replied, but it sounded strained. I didn't ask about it, but obviously my admission had not only upset me. It must be hard to hear that your best friend is having an affair on your other close friend; that's what I thought then. He hugged me tightly and then he pulled me to my feet and held my hand as he lead me from the study and down to the kitchen. He sat me at the island and brewed chamomile tea for me. We sat and chatted about nothing of consequence. I asked about his new companion and Duo was happy to oblige me. Halfway through my second tea, a thought dawned on me, “Duo, would you stay the night with me?”“Relena, I--” he looked shocked and confused and then I got it. I laughed, “Oh no! I don't mean it like that. It's just that, I'd rather not sleep in the bedroom with Heero and I don't want to be alone either,” I corrected and he looked relieved. He chuckled, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. “I suppose I can do that,” he replied after a moment, his smile back in place. “Randy won't mind?” I questioned, not wanting to make problems for him. Duo shook his head. Just then, the door opened and Heero came in clad only in plaid pajama bottoms. He looked at us sternly. “There you are Relena. I was worried,” he said, looking between Duo and I strangely. Duo wouldn't look him in the eye. It was rather odd. I'd never known Duo to back down so easily. I shook it off. “Duo and I were just catching up some more,” I replied easily. His brow furrowed as his stare landed on Duo. It made me uncomfortable the way he glared at him as though he'd done something wrong. “Duo and I are going to have a slumber party Heero. You can go on to bed by yourself, can't you?” I asked, uncaring whether or not my voice sound pleasant or not. I wasn't happy with him and it was only right that he should know it. “Relena, I don't think that's appropriate.”“Nonsense Heero, Duo is a close friend and besides, he's not the least bit interested in me like that, you know that,” I said, lifting my tea for another sip and to hide my malicious smile. He looked frustrated, “I won't be able to protect you properly,” he was grasping at straws. I didn't understand why he was so adamant about it. Was he so sure I would have an affair on him? Guilty conscience Heero? I pursed my lips. “I'm sure Duo is just as capable of keeping me safe. He is a Gundam pilot as well, after all. And besides, I'm a big girl now. I can make my own decisions Heero. I'm spending the night with Duo in one of the guest rooms and that's final.” Hah! Take that, you lying bastard!Heero was taken aback, speechless. I'd never spoken back so rebelliously before. I didn't break his gaze as I stood.I touched Duo's shoulder, gaining his attention. “My tea's gotten cold Duo, let's head up to bed,” I suggested, turning my gaze from Heero finally and focusing solely on the braided man. He looked up at me and smiled slightly, nodding before letting me pull him up from his seat. We brushed passed Heero without another word. The shock was still written over his face, mouth hanging slightly open. I wanted to laugh, but I managed not to. Duo and I went straight up the stairs and into one of the many guest rooms. We didn't say anything as we climbed into bed and settled in. Duo let me cuddle close to him, even wrapping an arm around me and letting me rest my head on his chest. It was like being in the embrace of an older brother. And I wished not for the first time that he had been the one to steal my heart. I sighed; it just wasn't meant to be. “Thank you for everything Duo. That was liberating,” I said softly, snuggling under his chin. His hand ran through my hair.“No worries. Now go to sleep Queenie; it's gonna be a busy day tomorrow.” I nodded, closing my eyes. Just as I was dozing off, I felt Duo shift a bit and his hand ran through my hair again. “You deserve so much better,” he whispered, leaning and placing a chaste kiss to my forehead, “we both do.” I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but I was too far gone to dwell on it much as I fell into sleep, safe and sound in my best friend's embrace. “Sleep well Relena. Dreams are the best escape.”TBC....SOOOOOOO SORRY for the delay... I've been very busy and with four roommates, privacy is hard to come by. I like to write in private, so I haven't had much of a chance to update anything. I am hoping to be able too very soon though. Pray that my internet gets put in my room so that I can lock myself in and write all day. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far and I hope you will continue to do so. I really like feedback. I hope everyone enjoyed this little snippet of Relena's psyche. She's involved in this tangled mess, so I thought it was only fair that she have a chapter or two throughout. Randy may also get one. I haven't decided yet. Let me know what you think. Next chapter will be Heero's reaction to the whole fiasco, meeting Randy and dealing with an assertive Relena. I hope you all enjoyed it. R&R please and thanks. Ja! Xander