Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ What I Really Meant to Say ❯ What I Really Meant to Say ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own the Gundam pilots, but I wish I did cause then I could do whatever I wanted to them, like cut Duo's hair… joking. I also don't own this song it belongs to Cindy Thompson and not me.

Author's Notes: This is story takes three years after the Endless Waltz the Gundam Pilots are all 20. This story contains a lemon, and it's my first lemon so pleassssseee go easy on me about it.

What I Really Meant To Say

Heero sighed and looked down at his watch, he had ten minutes before his shift was over. Heero stood up and stretched, pulling his arms over his head. Everyone around him stopped to stare at him as he did this. Everyone in the office at one time or another had tried to flirt with the young computer technician and all had been turned away. They all wanted to get closer so this enigmatic youth that always seemed so sad.

Heero went back to work unaware of all the stares he was getting. As the last minutes of his shift ticked by he felt his mind wander back to the days after the Marimea incident. Three years ago they were all happy, all the Gundam pilots and their close friends. Everybody was happy for different reasons. Quatre and Trowa were moving in together, Wufei and Sally were getting married, and then there was Duo and himself. He shook himself from the train of thoughts; he didn't have time to think. He got up and gathered his things together, grabbed his jacket and left the building. He then went into a small restaurant across the street. He entered and had to wait to be seated; as he waited he looked around the restaurant and gasped as he spotted a familiar figure sitting at one of the tables.

//It caught me by surprise

When I saw you standing there

Close enough to touch

Breathing the same air//

He turned away before the person could see him. The waiter soon came and brought him to one of the tables. He sat down and was told someone would come to serve him soon. Having nothing to do he picked up the menu and was about to read it when a familiar voice broke through his thoughts.

"Heero is that you?" He turned toward the sound of the voice and regretted it as he came looked into playful indigo eyes. "It is you Heero! I'd recognize your face anywhere." The owner of those eyes stood up from his table and came to sit at Heero's. "How've ya been Heero and what are you doing here?"

Heero forced himself to smile at his unexpected guest. "Hi Duo. I'm doing just fine. I've been keeping busy you know getting an apartment, working, dating, and all that. As to why I'm here I live here in fact I work just across the street. What about you?"

//You ask me how I've been

I guess that's when I smile

And say I'm just fine

Oh, but baby I was lyin'//

Duo looked really surprised and a little hurt at this, but he quickly covered it up with a smile. He then began to talk about all the stuff that was happening to him. ."Wow! That's great Heero; sounds like you've got a great life going here. Me, well I've been working as a politician for the last year, it's a really hectic job I tell ya. As to why I'm here I just came in to town picking up some important stuff for..." Heero drowned out Duo's words as he remembered the last time he had seen his braided love.

//What I really meant to say

Is that I'm dying here inside

And I miss you more each day

There's not a night I haven't cried

And baby here's the truth

I'm still in love with you

Yeah, that's what I really meant to say//

~ "Heero you know you're a great friend and all and I really care about you but… but there's someone else. Someone I really love. I hope you'll understand and forgive me." Duo said as he turned to leave.

"Duo!" Heero called to him desperately. "Will you at least tell me who it is? That's all I'm asking of you. Can you tell me for old times sake?"

Duo turned to face him, "Heero I'm in love with Relena." Then he turned and walked out the door leaving a stunned and heartbroken Heero behind. ~

Duo getting up woke him from the painful memory. "Well Heero It's time I go, you know how Lena can get when she doesn't get what she wants." Duo shrugged his shoulders in defeated manner. "Well see ya later buddy, keep in touch will ya?" With that Duo left the restaurant after paying his bill.

//And as you walked away

The echo of my words

Cut just like a knife

Cut so deep it hurt

I held back my tears

Held on to my pride and watched you go

I wonder if you'll ever know//

Heero sat there for five minutes after Duo left, before he couldn't stay there anymore. He stood up, left a twenty on the table, and then raced out of the restaurant. He didn't bother looking as he ran towards his apartment, memories coursing through his head.

~ "You'll always be with me won't you Duo?" a smile. "Heero you couldn't make me go if you wanted me to."~

~ "Hey! Heero get of that old computer of yours and come cuddle here with me, I'm starting to feel jealous." A small laugh, "Duo, nothing could take your place in my heart."~

Heero ignored the stares he was getting from the people around him as he raced to his apartment, tears streaming down his eyes. When he finally arrived, he unlocked the door and ran to his room.

//What I really meant to say

Is that I'm dying here inside

And I miss you more each day

There's not a night I haven't cried

And baby here's the truth

I'm still in love with you//

Heero through himself onto his bed and wept as long forgotten moments came back to haunt him. One of those moments was the last time he and Duo made love.

~ "Heero you really need to laugh more, it makes you look so cute." Duo said as he pulled Heero into a hug. "God. I swear you're the most beautiful thing in the world." He said huskily, as he kissed Heero passionately. Heero looked at Duo as their lips parted, and smiled. Duo looked into Heero's eyes and kissed him again. His hands fumbled for the buttons of Heero's pants when he found them he pulled them down. Heero meanwhile was taking of both their shirts, breaking their kiss only for a few seconds. Duo finally got Heero's pants off, and then proceeded to take of his own. He smiled up at Heero pointed to the drawer, then lowered his face to Heero's mid-section and completely took Heero's erection into his mouth. Heero gasped at the sensation and reached over into the drawer of desk for the lube. When he found it he nearly dropped it as Duo began sucking on his erection. "D-Duo, I want you in me now!" He said to his lover. Duo sat up and looked at Heero. "Are you sure your ready?" Heero nodded, and handed Duo the lube. "Alright Hee-baby." He then opened the jar scoped some lube onto his fingers and began to prepare Heero. "Duo koi as much as I appreciate you caring about my comfort and all… I need you in me now!" Duo needed no other urging as he slathered his cock and thrust into Heero's body. "Damn Heero you're so tight. God I love you." He said as he began thrusting in to Heero. They both felt their orgasms coming, and before they knew it they both came crying out each other's name. ~

//What I really meant to say

Is I'm really not that strong

No matter how I try

I'm still holding on

And here's the honest truth

I'm still in love with you

Yeah, that's what I really meant to say//

Heero sobbed more as he remembered what happened the next morning. He shook his head and stood up walking over to his dresser and digging around in it. When he finally found what he was looking for he took it out of the dresser and sat down on the bed again. He looked down at the gun in his hands for a minute or to before bringing it up to his head. He looked over at the picture of Duo on his dresser and smiled sadly, "Duo I'll always love you." Then closing his eyes he pulled the trigger.

//That's what I really meant to say//

Notes: OH MY GOD!! Did I just write that????? I had no idea when I started this that I was going to kill Heero; it hadn't even crossed my mind. *Sniff* … Well I guess what's done is done. Review and tell me what you think.