Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ What if... MSTed ❯ What if...Relena actually managed to marry Heero? ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

What If… - MSTed



What If… - MSTed
Written by Lady Celestia
MSTed by Kaen-chan


Kaen: My first pathetic attempt at MSTing…
All: Hell yeah!
Kaen: Thanks to Lady Celestia for allowing me to butcher her fanfic… figuratively speaking.
All: Hell no!
Kaen: ……I own Gundam Wing
All: Hell no!
Kaen: … Heero is Ririna's sekushii koibito…
Relena: Hell YEAH!
Heero: HELL NO!
Kaen: Are those two phrases the only ones you know?
All: Hell yeah!

Side note that will not be interrupted by crude vulgar assents or declinations…: Since the whole MSTing was do large in Bytes, I decided to break it down into five parts, since Lady C wrote five disturbing 'what ifs' ^^;;


//What If...The Unanswered Questions

Hirde: ::hums the X-file theme::
Heero: ¬¬ ::gritting teeth::
Duo: What if… I married Wu-man?
Wufei: I'd file injustice

//By Lady Celestia

Duo: ::playing a harp and humming along to it::
Heero: Shut up already!
Duo: Hey, can I be blamed for being able to show my music capabilities?
Wufei: Yes.

//Just an idea that popped into my head...

Relena: ::bouncing around in a pink rabbit suit::
Duo: Look! KODAK MOMENT!
Dorothy: *click*

//so many situations that I'm SURE you'd all like to know

Heero: Not really…

//...just kidding.

Trowa: … suuuuuuuuure…

//This is another one of those insane ideas that come to me when I'm either 1)drunk on Nestea,

Quatre: And just how old is she???

// 2)feeling horrible and sleepy,

Heero: Insomnia… That's how Dorothy lost her pupils.
Dorothy: WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT INSOMNIA???

//or 3)so stressed out my mind starts coming up with crazy things.

Duo: And the next thing you know, they start crawling and going forth with evolution!

//This is a combo of numbers 2 and 3...

Relena: ::counting on her fingers::

//I ran out of Nestea. Enjoy, and please email me!

//*** What if...Relena actually managed to marry Heero? ***

Heero: I'd shoot her at the alter.

//"Koibito! Aishiteru! *glomp*" Relena squealed as she attached herself to Heero like a flea to a dog (which is what she is).

Relena: Koibito! Aishiteru! *glomp*
Heero: *twich*
Duo: Guess not, na… 'koibito'? ::cackles::

//"Relena, get OFF me!" Heero screamed as he tried to pry Relena off.

//"But Hee-chan, I'm your wife!" pouted Relena.

Relena: ::Takes out a name tag, write WIFE on it, sticks it on::
Lady Une: ::mimics Relena's voice:: That title does not suit you ooooooooone bit! ::pulls out gun and shoots the name tag off::

//"Gagging and drugging me and dragging me down the aisle unconscious is NOT marriage, we are getting a divorce!" Heero screamed.

Duo: Why'd you ever let her drug you?
Heero: ::twitches::

//"D...Demo...WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! HEERO, IF YOU DIVORCE ME, I...I...I'll KILL MYSELF!!!" Relena screamed, hoping to knock some pity into Heero...or make him deaf.

Trowa: The latter
Heero: ::blinks:: What did you say?

//"Oh, really? You promise?" Heero asked, raising an eyebrow.

Duo: ::dressed as Relena:: Of course I do!

//Relena glared at him and dragged him into the bedroom. "Heero Yuy, you are sleeping on the BED tonight!" She threw his pillow and blankets from the couch into the bedroom.

Heero: Me? In the same bed with her??? ::whimpers::
Hirde: ::hums the funeral song::
All: SHUT UP ALREADY!

//"Wait...I LIKE the couch..." Heero said.

Heero: With its velvety comforters and Snuggles.
All: oO;; ::back away::

//"Too bad."

Wufei: I'm a bad boy!

//"NOOOOO!!!" Heero screamed and bolted out the door.

//"HEERO, COME BACK HERE...NOW!!!" Relena screamed chasing after him.

//"Divorce agency, divorce agency..." muttered Heero as he flipped through the yellow pages in the closet, his current hiding place.

Heero: ::ticks of his fingers:: And I've also hid in the bathroom, the oven, and washing machine, under Zero's feet…

//"Kuso, what is this? 1-800-6..." Heero read as he dialed the number on his cell phone. "8...7...wait, that's a...1? SHIMATTA!!!"

Quatre: Don't you have better eyesight than that?
Heero: …

//He threw the phone book down in frustration.

Hirde: ::stomps foot:: Like omigod! I broke a nail!

//He couldn't read numbers that small in the dark.

Trowa: … =^-.-^= meow…

//Then...he called the one number that he knew too well...

Duo: Hi, I'd like to order an extra-large, with three kinds of cheese, no mushrooms…
Hirde: Would you like fries with that?

//"Hello, you have reached Charter," said the voice at the other end of the
line.

Dorothy: ::tele-marketer voice:: Would you like a free brochure to our wonderful facilities?

//"Hi, you have to help me, there's an insane woman after me!" Heero replied.

Wufei: Who can turn into a chicken when there's a full moon!

//"Please give the address of the patient."

Heero: She's the foreign minister dammit!
Hirde: ::turns to Relena:: I thought you were well known.
Relena: So did I…

//"6028 Ne..." Heero began when suddenly...

Duo: The boogie man appeared!

//Light flowed in and Heero squinted to see,

Quatre: I think you need glasses.

// only to find that Relena was glaring down at him with a sadistic grin and insane eyes. "Oh, koibitoooooooo...heheheheh...."

Heero: Didn't we already go through that part?

//"No, DON'T HURT ME!!!"

Duo and Hirde: ::scream like valley girls:: No! You'll, like, ruin my, like, perfect hair!

//"MUAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Dorothy: Can you actually do that?
Relena: Of course… ::coughs:: heeheeheeheehee.
All: ¬¬;;

//"Help, please help me!" Heero screamed into the phone...*click* *beep, beep, beep*

Duo: Let us pray for our fallen friend. ::bows head::
Others: ::follow suit::

//"Hello? Hello, sir, are you still there?" asked the voice on the other end of the line.

Hirde: Of course I'm still here silly. ::giggles::

//Lesson to learn: Don't marry a stalker.

Heero: Ninmu Ryoukai.
Relena: ::pops up:: Koibito! Aishiteru!


To Be continued…

Well mina-san (I probably don't respect all of you out there, but for the sake of propriety…) here's the first MSTed probability… If you liked it, good. If you think it sucks, well too bad. To read Lady Celestia's original 'What if…' I think she's posted it up again…

Oh, and email me at kirui01@hotmail.com now… no more shi_no_kaen01@hotmail… Cause I'm not checking it! XD

And don't bother flaming me… Lady C gave me her permission and approved of it. So there, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeda! :Þ