Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Winning Duo ❯ Chapter 19
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Calic0cat 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.01.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.8K | Visits: 1.3K | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.01.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.8K | Visits: 1.3K | Status: Completed
*****************************
Title: Winning Duo
Chapter: 19/?
Author: Calic0cat <calic0cat@fastmail.fm>
Story Started: Jan. 2003
Genre: Yaoi, Romance, Humour, Angst
Pairings: Working towards 1x2x5; 3x4; 6x9; others may be implied
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: OOC, Swearing, Shifting POV, Threesome
Archives: At Mediaminer.org under Calic0cat. Anyone with archive permission for my other fics can help themselves; anyone else, please ask.
Disclaimer: Duo and Heero and the rest of the GW gang aren't mine. This story is. Nuff said.
Notes: Starts one year after Endless Waltz. POV changes frequently.
'Thinking'
"Speaking"
*** Time passing or scene change
Author's Notes: I usually write 1x2x1, so a 1x2x5 is a first for me (well, writing one is - I've been reading them for quite a while now, that's the *only* threesome I actually *like*). Feedback is appreciated.
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Wufei sat at the table, stunned. What the hell had just happened? Belatedly, he jumped up, nearly falling as he had forgotten that he was still wearing roller blades. "Duo! Duo, wait!" he called vainly after Duo's rapidly moving form.
Returning to the table, Heero heard Wufei's shout and saw Duo speeding off down the path. With a feeling of dread, he demanded, "What happened?! Where's Duo going?"
"I... I don't know! We were sitting at the table and I was talking and then suddenly he just took off!"
"What happened just before that?" Heero urged. He was impatient to follow Duo, but he needed *some* idea what was going on first! Otherwise he might just make whatever was wrong even worse.
"There was this dirty, smelly person who came by the table and asked for a light. Duo said he didn't have one, and the man left," Wufei summarized. He shuddered, adding, "He stumbled against me as he did - ugh! - then walked away and pulled something out of a *garbage can* and started *eating* it! I asked Duo if he saw what the man was doing. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!"
Shit. "Wufei, what *exactly* did you say?" Heero demanded urgently, dumping his food on the table.
Thinking back, Wufei answered, "I said, 'Duo, did you *see* that? He's eating something out of the *garbage*!! That is absolutely the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my *life*! How could anyone *do* that?!' Then he said something about not everyone having a choice and just took off!"
Shit, shit, shit. Heero's suspicions about Duo's past crystallized into certainty. 'Dammit, I should have at least given Wufei a vague idea what I suspected earlier. I *know* he would never have hurt Duo like that if he'd had any idea at all what his words would do...'
Heero yanked Wufei's hotdog and drink away from him and dumped them on the table with his own, then grabbed his arm and dragged him along the path in the direction Duo had fled. "Wufei, you have *no* idea what you just did," he growled, "and that is the *only* reason that I have not knocked you flat on your ass by now."
Wufei stiffened at Heero's tone and tried to wrench his arm out of the iron grip currently towing him along the path at an alarming rate. "What the hell are you talking about, Yuy?" he demanded.
Heero avoided answering the question directly. Instead, he said, "I told you earlier to ask me about L2 later on. Well, here's the brief version.
"The L2 colony cluster is quite simply the worst off of all the colonies. As a whole, it's poor, rundown, dirty, and poorly managed. Some colonies within the cluster are absolute hellholes.
"L2 was notorious for rebelling against the Alliance's stranglehold and it shows. Whole cities are nothing but war zones; buildings that would be condemned and destroyed elsewhere are still in use because they're better than anything else that's available. Hundreds if not thousands of people ranging from small children to the elderly end up living on the streets, scrounging out an existence that's difficult, dirty, and usually very short. They sleep in alleys and broken-down buildings, eat whatever they can scrounge from the garbage or steal."
Heero paused for a moment before moving from fact to conjecture. Conjecture that he was now 99% certain was correct, but conjecture nonetheless. "I think that Duo may have been one of those people."
Wufei stopped struggling against Heero's grip, allowing Heero to tow him along even faster. Oh no. "Oh god. What have I done?"
"Fucked up," Heero answered grimly. "And I have to take some of the blame on this too. I should have taken the time to explain as soon as I realized you had no idea what L2 was like." 'Too many secrets and not enough communication. That's going to have to change and *fast*.'
Meanwhile, Wufei was having similar thoughts. Suddenly, his "wait and see" attitude regarding his suspicion that Duo wanted *both* of them - or rather, *had* wanted both of them before he'd shot off his mouth about something he had no real understanding of, he corrected himself unhappily - seemed like an incredibly *bad* idea. "I don't know if it will even matter now," he said as they neared the rental booth, "but I realized earlier today that Duo doesn't - didn't - want to choose. He wants - wanted - *both* of us."
Wufei nearly fell as Heero jerked them both to a stop. "*What?!*" Heero exclaimed in disbelief.
"He loves and wants both of us. Or *did* before I fucked up. He is - was - only really happy when we're *both* with him," Wufei explained. He hesitated a moment before adding carefully, "And I would not be entirely adverse to such an arrangement."
That shocking revelation led Heero to reevaluate the past few days himself. What Wufei said about Duo was indeed correct. He *was* happiest when they were both there. Heero's own thoughts the previous day - that he wished there was some way for things to work out so that none of them ended up hurt and alone - came back to him. Unorthodox as they were, three-way relationships were not entirely unknown. And sharing Duo would be far better than losing him. And he genuinely liked and respected Wufei; it was not as if he were considering entering a three-way relationship with the man he loved and a complete stranger.
"I would not be either," Heero said simply before turning to cover the last few feet to the rental shop.
After confirming that Duo had indeed already returned his skates, they returned their own. Like most booths along the beach, the rental shop carried some basic beach items such as sunscreen, towels, and totes as a sideline to the rental business. Heero bought a large beach tote to put the plushies in for easier handling.
"You might want a first aid kit too," the clerk suggested. "That friend of yours must've taken a few pretty hard spills; his hands were all scraped up and the safety gear was awfully dirty."
Wufei's face whitened and he hurriedly turned and walked away. Standing well away from the counter, he distantly registered Heero's voice questioning the clerk regarding anything *else* he might have noticed. Like which way Duo had went.
'He hadn't fallen at *all* before. He always managed to catch his balance and stay on his feet. But now, he was too upset and in too much of a hurry to get away. Dammit, Chang, when are you going to learn to keep your damn mouth *shut* about things you know nothing about?!'
O had warned him again and again that being smart didn't mean anything. It was what you did with that intelligence that mattered. And after all this time and all the mistakes he'd made, he *still* hadn't learned his lesson. 'Arrogant. You're still the same arrogant, spoilt brat that you were back then.'
Wufei closed his eyes against the insistent stinging at the backs of them. Would Duo forgive him *again*? He hadn't known that he would hurt Duo with his words; certainly he hadn't *meant* to hurt him. But he'd been judgmental and self-righteous, making assumptions about that man that he'd had no business making. Never stopping to consider that there could be *reasons* for his behaviour. 'If Heero is correct and Duo *did* live on the streets, he will believe that I will react the same way towards *him*. That I'll be disgusted by him. Oh god Duo, I'm sorry!'
What was he going to do? How could he even *begin* to make this up to Duo? 'I love him; it doesn't *matter* what his past was like. I *care* about it because I care about *him*; I need to understand it so that I don't make a mistake like this again; but it certainly doesn't affect the fact that I love him!' Didn't Duo understand that? He'd *told* Duo that he loved him... 'Yesterday...' Wufei realized in shock, eyes snapping open again. 'Yesterday at the amusement park. But... not since then?' Frantically, he went back over the previous afternoon and evening as well as today. Surely he must have said it again at least *once*...
'But I *didn't*,' Wufei finally acknowledged, suddenly feeling very cold and ill.
Satisfied that there was nothing else the clerk could tell him, Heero slipped the recommended first aid kit and several flashlights with batteries into the tote along with the plushies and turned to join Wufei. His brow furrowed in concern as he realized that Wufei had his arms wrapped around himself as if trying to ward off a chill. The other youth's colour wasn't very good either. "Wufei?"
"Heero, have you told Duo that you love him since your explanation yesterday?" Wufei asked quietly, still gazing off into the distance.
"Of cour..." Heero stopped in mid-word. He *had*, hadn't he? A quick review of both days' events said otherwise.
"Fuck," Heero swore, furious at his oversight.
"I haven't either," Wufei admitted in a subdued voice. "Heero, we have to stop doing this. We just keep piling mistake on top of mistake. And Duo's too unsure of us to speak up and tell us what he wants. What he *needs*."
Heero nodded. "Agreed. We have to sit down - all three of us - and talk this out. Tomorrow - shit, tomorrow we're supposed to be doing those demos and training..." he remembered abruptly. Not good. They needed to get this settled before anything *else* went wrong. And he didn't think they'd get everything straightened out tonight. The last traces of sunset were already fading and they were clearly going to need the flashlights he'd bought just to try and find Duo. Taking one out, he handed it to Wufei, then pulled another out for himself.
"In a few hours, it'll be morning in Sanc. You're Une's favourite; call and get her to reschedule the sessions for - Friday, maybe. If she doesn't want to reschedule, then just tell her we're both sick and taking the day off," Heero decided as they started walking along the beach. Une would probably not be very happy with the last minute change in plans, but it couldn't be helped. And since neither of them made a habit of that sort of thing, she probably wouldn't get *too* upset. He hoped. Or they'd end up getting stuck manning the recruitment booth the next time a university held a job fair, one of Une's favourite punishments for those who had pissed her off once too often.
"Okay," Wufei answered. He would not ordinarily be amenable to such dereliction of duty, but under the circumstances, he felt that trying to salvage his relationship with Duo was far, far more important than a few training classes and demonstrations. "Did the clerk know where Duo went?" he asked.
"Just that he headed up the beach in this direction," Heero answered. "Though the clerk *did* mention that there's a cluster of rocks jutting out into the ocean up this way that have a reputation as a great sunset watching spot. Knowing Duo's fondness for sunsets, I would not be surprised to find him there. Have you thought about what you're going to say when we *do* find him?"
Thought? Yes. Decided? No. Wufei told him, "I have not quite decided yet. To some extent, it depends on how he reacts to me." They strode along in silence for a few minutes before Wufei said hesitantly, "Heero... if Duo will let me... will you be hurt if I kiss him? I don't know how else to prove that I'm not disgusted by him... I don't think words are going to be enough..."
Heero's breath caught at the question. He overrode his instinctive reaction that yes, of course he would be hurt, *he* wanted to kiss Duo first, dammit! 'I said I would be willing to share. Can I stand by that decision when the sharing is reality, not just words?' He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, mulling his answer over carefully. Finally, he said, "I don't know. I think you're right; words won't be enough and kissing him is probably the best way to prove your feelings. But..." Heero's voice trailed off for a moment, then he continued, admitting, "But it probably will sting a bit. You do realize that what we're talking about is probably Duo's first kiss, judging by what he said before?"
Stunned, Wufei realized Heero was correct. He hadn't even been thinking about that aspect of things; his only concern had been finding a way to convince Duo that he was not disgusted by him. Before he could say anything, though, Heero continued speaking.
"But maybe it's best that way anyway. You can give Duo *his* first kiss. He can give me *mine*," Heero concluded with a tiny shrug. There would be a great many compromises that would need to be made if they really were going to have a three-way relationship; this was only the first. And both he and Wufei would have to learn to watch the other together with Duo without being hurt or jealous.
"Thank you," Wufei responded softly. Maybe... maybe they really *could* make this work. If, that is, Duo was even still interested in doing so. If he hadn't finally made one mistake too many, hurt Duo once too often, and ruined his own chance at happiness.
As they neared the cluster of rocks that the clerk had mentioned, Heero caught a glimpse of something pale out towards the tip, where the spray from the breaking waves would reach. "Duo was wearing that long-sleeved white shirt over his T-shirt for sun protection. If that's him out there," he pointed towards that light-coloured blur, "he must be soaking wet!' Heero broke into a run, Wufei right behind him.
***
Duo shivered and pulled his legs up against his chest more tightly. He knew that he really should move. Go back to the beach, back to the hotel. Get out of his wet clothes, clean and dress his scraped hands, wrap the wrist he'd probably sprained the last time he fell, pack his things, and get the hell out of Dodge.
But he couldn't quite bring himself to actually *do* it. And now that the sun had completely set, he would have to wait a bit for his eyes to adjust to the dark just to make his way back across the rocks to shore.
'Why am I not on a shuttle back to L2 by now?' There really was no point in staying, bachelor auction contract or not. Why keep torturing himself with glimpses of what might have been his if he just... 'If I just hadn't been a dirty, smelly street rat who lived off what he could steal or pick out of other people's garbage. Might as well wish for the moon; I'd have a better chance of getting it,' he thought bitterly. It was perfectly clear how Wufei would react to his past; he didn't dare hope Heero's reaction would be any better.
'Though his past *was* at least a little closer to mine than Fei's...' No. He had lived on maybes and dreams for too long. It was time to face reality. If Hilde ever found out all his secrets, she probably wouldn't be quite so willing to treat him as her kid brother either.
Duo bent his head forward and pressed his face against his legs again, trying to hold back the tears threatening to break through his control. He hadn't cried since Sister Helen died; he wasn't about to do it now. Just because his dreams of love and a home were dying again, that was no reason to give in and cry...
Crying didn't change anything. It *didn't*.
But as the first sob tore its way out of his chest, Duo realized that it didn't matter. This time, he couldn't stop it. He was too worn down, too cold, too hurt, too *everything*. This time, the tears would not be denied. And he quit trying.
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Title: Winning Duo
Chapter: 19/?
Author: Calic0cat <calic0cat@fastmail.fm>
Story Started: Jan. 2003
Genre: Yaoi, Romance, Humour, Angst
Pairings: Working towards 1x2x5; 3x4; 6x9; others may be implied
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: OOC, Swearing, Shifting POV, Threesome
Archives: At Mediaminer.org under Calic0cat. Anyone with archive permission for my other fics can help themselves; anyone else, please ask.
Disclaimer: Duo and Heero and the rest of the GW gang aren't mine. This story is. Nuff said.
Notes: Starts one year after Endless Waltz. POV changes frequently.
'Thinking'
"Speaking"
*** Time passing or scene change
Author's Notes: I usually write 1x2x1, so a 1x2x5 is a first for me (well, writing one is - I've been reading them for quite a while now, that's the *only* threesome I actually *like*). Feedback is appreciated.
#################################################
Wufei sat at the table, stunned. What the hell had just happened? Belatedly, he jumped up, nearly falling as he had forgotten that he was still wearing roller blades. "Duo! Duo, wait!" he called vainly after Duo's rapidly moving form.
Returning to the table, Heero heard Wufei's shout and saw Duo speeding off down the path. With a feeling of dread, he demanded, "What happened?! Where's Duo going?"
"I... I don't know! We were sitting at the table and I was talking and then suddenly he just took off!"
"What happened just before that?" Heero urged. He was impatient to follow Duo, but he needed *some* idea what was going on first! Otherwise he might just make whatever was wrong even worse.
"There was this dirty, smelly person who came by the table and asked for a light. Duo said he didn't have one, and the man left," Wufei summarized. He shuddered, adding, "He stumbled against me as he did - ugh! - then walked away and pulled something out of a *garbage can* and started *eating* it! I asked Duo if he saw what the man was doing. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!"
Shit. "Wufei, what *exactly* did you say?" Heero demanded urgently, dumping his food on the table.
Thinking back, Wufei answered, "I said, 'Duo, did you *see* that? He's eating something out of the *garbage*!! That is absolutely the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my *life*! How could anyone *do* that?!' Then he said something about not everyone having a choice and just took off!"
Shit, shit, shit. Heero's suspicions about Duo's past crystallized into certainty. 'Dammit, I should have at least given Wufei a vague idea what I suspected earlier. I *know* he would never have hurt Duo like that if he'd had any idea at all what his words would do...'
Heero yanked Wufei's hotdog and drink away from him and dumped them on the table with his own, then grabbed his arm and dragged him along the path in the direction Duo had fled. "Wufei, you have *no* idea what you just did," he growled, "and that is the *only* reason that I have not knocked you flat on your ass by now."
Wufei stiffened at Heero's tone and tried to wrench his arm out of the iron grip currently towing him along the path at an alarming rate. "What the hell are you talking about, Yuy?" he demanded.
Heero avoided answering the question directly. Instead, he said, "I told you earlier to ask me about L2 later on. Well, here's the brief version.
"The L2 colony cluster is quite simply the worst off of all the colonies. As a whole, it's poor, rundown, dirty, and poorly managed. Some colonies within the cluster are absolute hellholes.
"L2 was notorious for rebelling against the Alliance's stranglehold and it shows. Whole cities are nothing but war zones; buildings that would be condemned and destroyed elsewhere are still in use because they're better than anything else that's available. Hundreds if not thousands of people ranging from small children to the elderly end up living on the streets, scrounging out an existence that's difficult, dirty, and usually very short. They sleep in alleys and broken-down buildings, eat whatever they can scrounge from the garbage or steal."
Heero paused for a moment before moving from fact to conjecture. Conjecture that he was now 99% certain was correct, but conjecture nonetheless. "I think that Duo may have been one of those people."
Wufei stopped struggling against Heero's grip, allowing Heero to tow him along even faster. Oh no. "Oh god. What have I done?"
"Fucked up," Heero answered grimly. "And I have to take some of the blame on this too. I should have taken the time to explain as soon as I realized you had no idea what L2 was like." 'Too many secrets and not enough communication. That's going to have to change and *fast*.'
Meanwhile, Wufei was having similar thoughts. Suddenly, his "wait and see" attitude regarding his suspicion that Duo wanted *both* of them - or rather, *had* wanted both of them before he'd shot off his mouth about something he had no real understanding of, he corrected himself unhappily - seemed like an incredibly *bad* idea. "I don't know if it will even matter now," he said as they neared the rental booth, "but I realized earlier today that Duo doesn't - didn't - want to choose. He wants - wanted - *both* of us."
Wufei nearly fell as Heero jerked them both to a stop. "*What?!*" Heero exclaimed in disbelief.
"He loves and wants both of us. Or *did* before I fucked up. He is - was - only really happy when we're *both* with him," Wufei explained. He hesitated a moment before adding carefully, "And I would not be entirely adverse to such an arrangement."
That shocking revelation led Heero to reevaluate the past few days himself. What Wufei said about Duo was indeed correct. He *was* happiest when they were both there. Heero's own thoughts the previous day - that he wished there was some way for things to work out so that none of them ended up hurt and alone - came back to him. Unorthodox as they were, three-way relationships were not entirely unknown. And sharing Duo would be far better than losing him. And he genuinely liked and respected Wufei; it was not as if he were considering entering a three-way relationship with the man he loved and a complete stranger.
"I would not be either," Heero said simply before turning to cover the last few feet to the rental shop.
After confirming that Duo had indeed already returned his skates, they returned their own. Like most booths along the beach, the rental shop carried some basic beach items such as sunscreen, towels, and totes as a sideline to the rental business. Heero bought a large beach tote to put the plushies in for easier handling.
"You might want a first aid kit too," the clerk suggested. "That friend of yours must've taken a few pretty hard spills; his hands were all scraped up and the safety gear was awfully dirty."
Wufei's face whitened and he hurriedly turned and walked away. Standing well away from the counter, he distantly registered Heero's voice questioning the clerk regarding anything *else* he might have noticed. Like which way Duo had went.
'He hadn't fallen at *all* before. He always managed to catch his balance and stay on his feet. But now, he was too upset and in too much of a hurry to get away. Dammit, Chang, when are you going to learn to keep your damn mouth *shut* about things you know nothing about?!'
O had warned him again and again that being smart didn't mean anything. It was what you did with that intelligence that mattered. And after all this time and all the mistakes he'd made, he *still* hadn't learned his lesson. 'Arrogant. You're still the same arrogant, spoilt brat that you were back then.'
Wufei closed his eyes against the insistent stinging at the backs of them. Would Duo forgive him *again*? He hadn't known that he would hurt Duo with his words; certainly he hadn't *meant* to hurt him. But he'd been judgmental and self-righteous, making assumptions about that man that he'd had no business making. Never stopping to consider that there could be *reasons* for his behaviour. 'If Heero is correct and Duo *did* live on the streets, he will believe that I will react the same way towards *him*. That I'll be disgusted by him. Oh god Duo, I'm sorry!'
What was he going to do? How could he even *begin* to make this up to Duo? 'I love him; it doesn't *matter* what his past was like. I *care* about it because I care about *him*; I need to understand it so that I don't make a mistake like this again; but it certainly doesn't affect the fact that I love him!' Didn't Duo understand that? He'd *told* Duo that he loved him... 'Yesterday...' Wufei realized in shock, eyes snapping open again. 'Yesterday at the amusement park. But... not since then?' Frantically, he went back over the previous afternoon and evening as well as today. Surely he must have said it again at least *once*...
'But I *didn't*,' Wufei finally acknowledged, suddenly feeling very cold and ill.
Satisfied that there was nothing else the clerk could tell him, Heero slipped the recommended first aid kit and several flashlights with batteries into the tote along with the plushies and turned to join Wufei. His brow furrowed in concern as he realized that Wufei had his arms wrapped around himself as if trying to ward off a chill. The other youth's colour wasn't very good either. "Wufei?"
"Heero, have you told Duo that you love him since your explanation yesterday?" Wufei asked quietly, still gazing off into the distance.
"Of cour..." Heero stopped in mid-word. He *had*, hadn't he? A quick review of both days' events said otherwise.
"Fuck," Heero swore, furious at his oversight.
"I haven't either," Wufei admitted in a subdued voice. "Heero, we have to stop doing this. We just keep piling mistake on top of mistake. And Duo's too unsure of us to speak up and tell us what he wants. What he *needs*."
Heero nodded. "Agreed. We have to sit down - all three of us - and talk this out. Tomorrow - shit, tomorrow we're supposed to be doing those demos and training..." he remembered abruptly. Not good. They needed to get this settled before anything *else* went wrong. And he didn't think they'd get everything straightened out tonight. The last traces of sunset were already fading and they were clearly going to need the flashlights he'd bought just to try and find Duo. Taking one out, he handed it to Wufei, then pulled another out for himself.
"In a few hours, it'll be morning in Sanc. You're Une's favourite; call and get her to reschedule the sessions for - Friday, maybe. If she doesn't want to reschedule, then just tell her we're both sick and taking the day off," Heero decided as they started walking along the beach. Une would probably not be very happy with the last minute change in plans, but it couldn't be helped. And since neither of them made a habit of that sort of thing, she probably wouldn't get *too* upset. He hoped. Or they'd end up getting stuck manning the recruitment booth the next time a university held a job fair, one of Une's favourite punishments for those who had pissed her off once too often.
"Okay," Wufei answered. He would not ordinarily be amenable to such dereliction of duty, but under the circumstances, he felt that trying to salvage his relationship with Duo was far, far more important than a few training classes and demonstrations. "Did the clerk know where Duo went?" he asked.
"Just that he headed up the beach in this direction," Heero answered. "Though the clerk *did* mention that there's a cluster of rocks jutting out into the ocean up this way that have a reputation as a great sunset watching spot. Knowing Duo's fondness for sunsets, I would not be surprised to find him there. Have you thought about what you're going to say when we *do* find him?"
Thought? Yes. Decided? No. Wufei told him, "I have not quite decided yet. To some extent, it depends on how he reacts to me." They strode along in silence for a few minutes before Wufei said hesitantly, "Heero... if Duo will let me... will you be hurt if I kiss him? I don't know how else to prove that I'm not disgusted by him... I don't think words are going to be enough..."
Heero's breath caught at the question. He overrode his instinctive reaction that yes, of course he would be hurt, *he* wanted to kiss Duo first, dammit! 'I said I would be willing to share. Can I stand by that decision when the sharing is reality, not just words?' He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, mulling his answer over carefully. Finally, he said, "I don't know. I think you're right; words won't be enough and kissing him is probably the best way to prove your feelings. But..." Heero's voice trailed off for a moment, then he continued, admitting, "But it probably will sting a bit. You do realize that what we're talking about is probably Duo's first kiss, judging by what he said before?"
Stunned, Wufei realized Heero was correct. He hadn't even been thinking about that aspect of things; his only concern had been finding a way to convince Duo that he was not disgusted by him. Before he could say anything, though, Heero continued speaking.
"But maybe it's best that way anyway. You can give Duo *his* first kiss. He can give me *mine*," Heero concluded with a tiny shrug. There would be a great many compromises that would need to be made if they really were going to have a three-way relationship; this was only the first. And both he and Wufei would have to learn to watch the other together with Duo without being hurt or jealous.
"Thank you," Wufei responded softly. Maybe... maybe they really *could* make this work. If, that is, Duo was even still interested in doing so. If he hadn't finally made one mistake too many, hurt Duo once too often, and ruined his own chance at happiness.
As they neared the cluster of rocks that the clerk had mentioned, Heero caught a glimpse of something pale out towards the tip, where the spray from the breaking waves would reach. "Duo was wearing that long-sleeved white shirt over his T-shirt for sun protection. If that's him out there," he pointed towards that light-coloured blur, "he must be soaking wet!' Heero broke into a run, Wufei right behind him.
***
Duo shivered and pulled his legs up against his chest more tightly. He knew that he really should move. Go back to the beach, back to the hotel. Get out of his wet clothes, clean and dress his scraped hands, wrap the wrist he'd probably sprained the last time he fell, pack his things, and get the hell out of Dodge.
But he couldn't quite bring himself to actually *do* it. And now that the sun had completely set, he would have to wait a bit for his eyes to adjust to the dark just to make his way back across the rocks to shore.
'Why am I not on a shuttle back to L2 by now?' There really was no point in staying, bachelor auction contract or not. Why keep torturing himself with glimpses of what might have been his if he just... 'If I just hadn't been a dirty, smelly street rat who lived off what he could steal or pick out of other people's garbage. Might as well wish for the moon; I'd have a better chance of getting it,' he thought bitterly. It was perfectly clear how Wufei would react to his past; he didn't dare hope Heero's reaction would be any better.
'Though his past *was* at least a little closer to mine than Fei's...' No. He had lived on maybes and dreams for too long. It was time to face reality. If Hilde ever found out all his secrets, she probably wouldn't be quite so willing to treat him as her kid brother either.
Duo bent his head forward and pressed his face against his legs again, trying to hold back the tears threatening to break through his control. He hadn't cried since Sister Helen died; he wasn't about to do it now. Just because his dreams of love and a home were dying again, that was no reason to give in and cry...
Crying didn't change anything. It *didn't*.
But as the first sob tore its way out of his chest, Duo realized that it didn't matter. This time, he couldn't stop it. He was too worn down, too cold, too hurt, too *everything*. This time, the tears would not be denied. And he quit trying.
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