Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Winning Duo ❯ Chapter 20
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Calic0cat 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.02.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.7K | Visits: 1.4K | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.02.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.7K | Visits: 1.4K | Status: Completed
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Title: Winning Duo
Chapter: 20/?
Author: Calic0cat <calic0cat@fastmail.fm>
Story Started: Jan. 2003
Genre: Yaoi, Romance, Humour, Angst
Pairings: Working towards 1x2x5; 3x4; 6x9; others may be implied
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: OOC, Swearing, Shifting POV, Threesome
Archives: At Mediaminer.org under Calic0cat. Anyone with archive permission for my other fics can help themselves; anyone else, please ask.
Disclaimer: Duo and Heero and the rest of the GW gang aren't mine. This story is. Nuff said.
Notes: Starts one year after Endless Waltz. POV changes frequently.
'Thinking'
"Speaking"
*** Time passing or scene change
Author's Notes: I usually write 1x2x1, so a 1x2x5 is a first for me (well, writing one is - I've been reading them for quite a while now, that's the *only* threesome I actually *like*). Feedback is appreciated.
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Heero jammed the tote between a couple of rocks. Hopefully it was far enough up the beach that it would be safe there for now. He didn't want it getting in the way while they went clambering over those rocks to find Duo.
As Heero turned to climb up onto the rocks, Wufei reached out and caught hold of his arm. "I think... I think I'd better stay back a bit. If he sees me and tries to run again..." It hurt to admit it, but Duo might take off again if he spotted him. And these jagged, slippery rocks were no place for something like that.
The depth of his sympathy for the pain in Wufei's voice surprised Heero. Impulsively, he pulled Wufei towards him in a one-armed, awkward hug. "You didn't mean to hurt him. Once we've reassured him and he's had a chance to calm down, he'll understand that."
Though initially startled by Heero's move, Wufei was grateful for the awkward attempt at comfort. "I hope so," he responded. "But..."
Heero shook him gently. "No buts. Have a little faith, Wufei. Duo *will* understand. Now come on, let's go get him."
As Heero released him, Wufei said gratefully, "Heero - thank you."
Heero nodded in return, then started climbing up the rocks with Wufei close behind him.
***
Duo's throat hurt, his chest ached, and his eyes burned. He was cold and exhausted; yet he still couldn't stop the great, gasping sobs choking him. He needed to get back to shore, but at this point he wasn't even sure if he *could*. For one thing, his vision was too blurred with tears to see the way back over the rocks even if there was enough moonlight to guide him. And he was so stiff and sore and tired that climbing and jumping back the way he had came seemed an impossible task.
A faint sound carried over the noise of the breaking waves and his own sobs. 'Oh god,' he thought in horror, 'it can't be... please, no...' The sound reached him again. Heero, calling his name.
Duo fought desperately to get his crying under control. 'I can't let him see me like this...' But all he managed to do was turn the tearing sobs into sobs interspersed with painful hiccups. His control was shot all to hell and he was out of time to rebuild it.
Coming up behind Duo, Heero called his name again. He didn't want to startle him. The rocks were too slippery to be jumping around on. He caught a glimpse of a pale face, wet hair straggling across it, as Duo glanced back at him, then quickly hid his face against his legs again. 'Oh Duo...' he thought unhappily. 'Why haven't you come back to shore?' The spray from the waves was surprisingly heavy and cold, a periodic shower rather than a mist. As he neared Duo, he realized that the slender form hunched before him was shaking. And not just with cold, either. 'Duo's... crying?!'
He had never, *ever* seen Duo cry. Not when he was beaten, or shot, or being stitched up. 'But *we've* managed to do this to you...' And Heero knew damn well that it was "we", not "Wufei". This wasn't *just* a result of Wufei's unknowingly hurtful words. This was a result of the past few days filled with glimpses of happiness interspersed with mistake after hurtful mistake on the part of himself and Wufei. 'And that's without even taking into consideration the two years before that of believing that we didn't want him...'
Heero shot a quick glance back over his shoulder. Wufei was standing and waiting nearly halfway back to shore. Ready to join Heero if needed, but keeping his distance until they were certain that his presence would not cause Duo to bolt again.
"Duo," Heero repeated, reaching out to touch Duo's hunched shoulder. Duo flinched away from his touch, sending a sharp stab of pain through Heero's heart. "Duo, look at me," he said firmly.
Slowly and reluctantly, Duo raised his head and turned it to meet Heero's eyes. He was prepared to see disdain there; after all, Heero had found him bawling like a baby and soaking wet because he was too foolish to get away from the water. Instead, he found sorrow and regret. "What?" he tried to ask, but it came out as a croak instead; his throat was raw and his voice hoarse from crying.
"Wufei told me what happened. Duo, I've *been* to L2; I know what at least some parts of it are like," Heero said.
'Oh god, he's *guessed*,' Duo thought in sudden panic. Despite his earlier determination not to count on a positive reaction from Heero, some small trace of hope had lingered. Hope that, if he handled his explanation just right, Heero *might* possibly be able to overlook his past. If Heero had figured it out on his own, any chance of that was probably gone.
"Duo, how could you possibly think that anything in your past would affect my feelings for you? Is your opinion of me really that low? Do you really think that I'm that shallow?" Heero genuinely *was* a bit hurt that Duo was so ready to assume the worst of him. He knew that his own past actions might not have left Duo with much faith in him but it still hurt to have that lack of faith confirmed.
Duo's eyes went wide at Heero's pained questions. He had never thought of it *that* way. He shook his head frantically, his voice still refusing to cooperate. It was *his* past that was the problem, not their reactions!
"I love *you* for the wonderful, caring person you are. I'd like to know about the events that shaped that person, but knowing about them certainly won't make me stop loving you," Heero told him firmly.
Heero was abruptly nearly knocked out of his crouch and onto his back as Duo flung himself against his chest, clutching desperately at Heero's shirt and hiding his face against Heero's neck. Heero managed to keep from going over backwards but only barely. He eased himself down onto his knees and brought his arms up around Duo, gently rubbing his back the way that Wufei had shown him earlier that afternoon. 'God, he's *soaked*! And so cold... We've got to get him back to the hotel and warmed up...' Heero beckoned for Wufei to join them.
"Duo, Wufei didn't know anything about L2 until I told him a few things after you ran off. He didn't mean to hurt you. He's afraid that you'll never forgive him; that he's lost you for good," Heero said carefully. "I told him that he was wrong; that you would forgive him; that he hadn't ruined his chance with you."
Duo's grasp on Heero's shirt tightened and he pulled his face away from Heero's neck, straining to see Heero's face in the dimming light from the discarded flashlight beside him. He was certain that he could not have heard Heero correctly. 'Fei's afraid I won't forgive him? He still *wants* me? What did Heero *tell* him about L2?' he wondered dazedly. 'Does he really understand how ugly my past is?' Then, an instant later, '*Heero* told *Wufei* that he hadn't lost his chance with me? But...' If Heero loved him and wanted him, why would he try to reassure *Wufei*? Unless... A faint spark of hope flickered back to life. Had they somehow figured out what he really wanted?
Bringing his lips very close to Duo's ear, Heero said, "You don't have to choose, Duo." He pulled away slightly, just in time to catch a glimpse of Duo's face as it lit up with hope.
Wufei arrived just in time to see that same flare of hope cross Duo's face. Dropping to his knees beside the other two, he said, "Duo?"
Duo flinched at Wufei's voice and hid his face against Heero's neck again. Despite Heero's encouraging words, he kept remembering the look on Wufei's face and the tone of his voice as he said "*disgusting*" and imagining that look and tone being directed at *him*.
Pain lanced through Wufei as Duo cringed away from him and hid his face against Heero. He gave Heero a despairing look. Heero glared at him and mouthed, "Have faith." Drawing a steadying breath, Wufei reached out and touched Duo's shoulder lightly. "Duo, please... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you! Please, give me a chance to make it up to you..."
'Fei sounds upset... Maybe...' Duo turned his head and cautiously peeked through his wet, tangled bangs at Wufei. With two flashlights now providing light, he could see a bit more clearly. And Wufei *did* seem pretty upset...
Duo shifted slightly in Heero's arms, turning a bit more towards Wufei and slowly raising his head. He was grateful that the sobs had finally died down while Heero held him and he now only had the occasional hiccup left to embarrass him. Though he was pretty sure that his red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks would clearly give away what he'd been doing anyway.
'He's been *crying*...' Wufei realized, horrified. 'I made Duo *cry*...' He had never seen Duo cry before, no matter how badly he'd been injured, no matter how badly awry a mission had gone. 'But everyone has a breaking point... He was already half-sick from tension this morning... Then this afternoon and evening had been so wonderful; we were all so happy and relaxed...' His words would have been a sucker-punch coming on top of the fun they'd all been sharing. "Duo, I'm sorry. I had no business being so judgmental about a person I knew nothing about, a person in a *situation* I knew nothing about. I certainly never meant any of what I said to apply to *you* - but I had no right saying it about *anyone*."
Encouraged by the fact that Duo was still listening, Wufei raised his hand to gently brush dripping strands of chestnut out of Duo's eyes. "I am not disgusted by you, Duo. There is nothing you could tell me about your past that would make me stop loving you."
Duo closed his eyes and leaned his cheek against Wufei's hand, pressing it in turn against Heero's shoulder. Wufei sounded sincere. And his touch was as gentle and caring as before. Maybe...
"I love you and I always will. Duo, may I kiss you?" Wufei asked, then held his breath, hoping desperately that his gamble would pay off. That Duo would take the kiss as the reassurance and promise it was meant to be.
Duo's eyes flew open at Wufei's request. Wufei wanted to kiss him? *Now*? When he was soaked with saltwater spray and dirty and messy from falling and crying? He opened his mouth to reply, then remembered whose arms he was in. Heero had said that he didn't have to choose, but surely letting Wufei kiss him while he was literally in Heero's arms was a bit much to ask...
Heero felt Duo tense in his arms in response to Wufei's question. He also felt the indrawn breath that was choked off before turning into an answer. Making a guess at the reason, he repeated, "Duo, you don't have to choose. It's okay. I promise. You can give me *my* first kiss, okay?"
"Okay," Duo managed to choke out. He could hardly even recognize his own voice, it was so rough and hoarse. And that single word was enough to leave him fighting off a cough as his raw throat protested. Meeting Wufei's eyes, he simply nodded, not daring to try to speak again.
This was going to be - damn awkward. Wufei gave Heero an apologetic look. Duo had a death-grip on a handful of Heero's shirt and didn't seem to intend to let go. Which meant that he was going to have to lean in front of Heero and kiss Duo while he was still in Heero's arms.
Heero gave Wufei a reassuring if slightly wry smile as he shifted Duo so that he could move one arm out of the way. Despite his earlier expectation that it would sting to see Wufei kiss Duo, he really wasn't going to mind what was about to happen. Not if it took the pain out of both Duo's and Wufei's eyes and voices. He had not been surprised by how much he felt Duo's pain. But it *was* surprising how much it hurt to see Wufei's. He had not expected that. It raised questions that he was not prepared to consider too closely just yet.
Wide-eyed, Duo watched Wufei's face for any sign of hesitation or revulsion. He *wanted* to believe everything was going to be okay. That both Heero and Wufei still loved him and wanted him, regardless of his past. But after the number of times he'd let himself get his hopes up only to have them dashed again, it was damn hard to believe.
Inching closer until his knees were pressing tightly against Heero's, Wufei leaned over. The anxiety in Duo's eyes drove him to repeat firmly, "I love you," before pressing his lips to Duo's. He was afraid for a moment that he would overbalance and end up falling on Duo, but strong fingers were suddenly gripping his shoulder and supporting him. 'Heero...' Trusting Heero to look after the practical end of things, Wufei concentrated on trying to pour all of his love for Duo into the kiss. Trying to show Duo how much he cared. Yet it remained a closed-mouth kiss. No sucking or licking or nibbling. No seeking tongue or teasing teeth. Just lips moving gently against lips. This kiss had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with love and tenderness.
Duo's lips softened and responded to Wufei's kiss. Once it became clear that Wufei genuinely *did* want to kiss him, Duo had feared that Wufei would move too fast, ask for more than he could give right now. He was just beginning to accept that he was loved and wanted; he needed time to adjust to that knowledge and to restore some of his faith in that love. Time to rebuild his battered trust.
Wufei's kiss, chaste but warm and tender, reassured Duo that he would have that time. That there was no rush; they loved each other and that was all that mattered right now. Everything else could wait until the time was right.
As Wufei finally drew back from Duo, he said once more, "I love you, Duo." Heero's fingers left his shoulder and he abruptly became very aware of the hardness of the rock under his knees and the cold seeping into him as the wind blew across his wave-dampened clothing. He realized with a start just how cold Duo's lips had been, how cold and wet *Duo* must be. "We need to get back to the hotel and get warmed up," he said, struggling to rise on stiff and uncooperative legs. Once standing, he held out a hand to help Duo up.
Duo reluctantly released his handful of Heero's shirt, caught hold of Wufei's hand, and tried to stand. "Tried" being the operative word. He made it halfway up before quite simply running out of energy. He sank back to the rock on suddenly rubbery legs. 'Oh *shit*,' he thought wearily. "How the hell am I going to make it back if I can't even stand up?" he muttered, keeping his voice low to avoid irritating his raw throat.
Having briskly rubbed the circulation back into his own legs, Heero rose and offered his hand to Duo as well. Together, he and Wufei managed to haul Duo to his feet again, but it became clear after only a few feet that he simply didn't have the energy left for this. "Look, we can either keep hobbling along and get back to shore in an hour or so," Heero pointed out, "or you can let me carry you and you'll be back at the hotel enjoying a nice warm bath by then."
Utterly humiliated, Duo gave in. "A warm bath sounds awfully good about now..." he croaked out hoarsely. As Heero went to lift Duo into his arms, he added, "Heero, just go ahead and use a fireman's lift. I'll feel like an idiot anyway, at least you'll be able to move faster and balance better that way."
Heero paused before following Duo's instructions. Looking Duo straight in the eyes, he said firmly, "Duo, needing help and accepting it doesn't make you an idiot. Denying that you need it and refusing it when it's offered does. After all, you're not going around setting your own broken bones, are you?" he teased.
Duo choked off a snicker. He was a little bit afraid that if he started laughing, he might not be able to stop. "No, but I *have* been using a wrist that's probably sprained," he admitted, triggering off a bout of coughing as his throat protested. "Bent it the wrong way the last time I fell on the way back to the rental place."
Wufei winced at the reminder of how upset Duo had been. Even if Duo had forgiven him, it would be a long time before he forgave himself for his ill-advised words and the hurt they'd caused.
***
Back at the hotel, it didn't take long to get Duo into that warm bath. Heero waited outside the door in case he needed help while Wufei took a quick shower in the suite's other bathroom. Then Heero went off to shower while Wufei helped Duo wash his saltwater-laden hair in the sink. Trading off again, Wufei headed off to call Une then to the kitchenette to heat up some canned soup since none of them had actually eaten their evening meal. Meanwhile, Heero tended to Duo's scraped hands and wrapped his sore and swollen wrist.
"You still need to tell us about your past, you know," Heero said quietly as he finished wrapping Duo's wrist. "Not tonight - your throat's too sore and you're exhausted. But we *do* need to know, if only so that we don't end up accidentally hurting you again."
Duo closed his eyes, then nodded. He wasn't looking forward to dredging up even more old memories, but Heero was right.
"We're cancelling the training and demos for tomorrow - no, actually, it's today now - so that we can all get some of this straightened out. We need to work out exactly what each of us wants and needs from this relationship if we're going to make it work. Oh, and Wufei has a surprise for the evening, so you'll want to be rested up," Heero continued. Catching Duo's anxious look, he assured him, "You'll like it. And all three of us are going - Wufei bought me a ticket too, even before he figured out that you didn't want to have to choose between us."
Wufei returned with the soup just then and there was silence for a while as they all ate. Duo ate almost mechanically, mulling over a request he would like to make. It wasn't exactly a *need*, and he didn't want either of them to take it the wrong way, but... Reaching a decision, Duo rose and found a pen and paper. Quickly, before he could lose his nerve, he scribbled out a note. He didn't think his voice was up to this much explanation; particularly not if he wanted it to recover enough to talk about his past later on. He handed the note to Heero and waited anxiously.
Heero read it through, then handed it to Wufei before nodding in response.
Wufei read the note as well, then said, "Of course, Duo. You have only to ask, you know." He smiled warmly and added, "We love you and want you to be happy. Unfortunately, neither of us has been doing very well at that so far. It will make things a great deal easier for all of us if you *do* ask."
Duo nodded in acknowledgement. He didn't think there were a lot of things that were important enough to him to actually make a point of asking for; but he would try to keep Wufei's request in mind. This time though, the request *had* been important to him. He was trying very hard to believe Heero's and Wufei's assurances; but it was difficult. This - would help. He hoped. As long as they really understood what he was asking.
A short while later, Duo lay in bed, tensely waiting. Had they understood? As first Heero, then Wufei, came into the room wearing jogging pants and t-shirts and slipped into bed on either side of him, Duo gradually relaxed. The amount of clothing that they were wearing when he knew perfectly well that they usually only slept in boxers confirmed that they had indeed understood what he wanted. That he wanted them all to sleep together. *Just* sleep. Nothing more.
Curling up with his head pillowed on Heero's shoulder and Wufei tucked against his back, Duo drifted off to sleep with real hope in his heart. Hope that maybe, just maybe, everything really *was* going to work out okay. That those he loved *did* love him in return. That they *could* make a home and a life together. Maybe...
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Title: Winning Duo
Chapter: 20/?
Author: Calic0cat <calic0cat@fastmail.fm>
Story Started: Jan. 2003
Genre: Yaoi, Romance, Humour, Angst
Pairings: Working towards 1x2x5; 3x4; 6x9; others may be implied
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: OOC, Swearing, Shifting POV, Threesome
Archives: At Mediaminer.org under Calic0cat. Anyone with archive permission for my other fics can help themselves; anyone else, please ask.
Disclaimer: Duo and Heero and the rest of the GW gang aren't mine. This story is. Nuff said.
Notes: Starts one year after Endless Waltz. POV changes frequently.
'Thinking'
"Speaking"
*** Time passing or scene change
Author's Notes: I usually write 1x2x1, so a 1x2x5 is a first for me (well, writing one is - I've been reading them for quite a while now, that's the *only* threesome I actually *like*). Feedback is appreciated.
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Heero jammed the tote between a couple of rocks. Hopefully it was far enough up the beach that it would be safe there for now. He didn't want it getting in the way while they went clambering over those rocks to find Duo.
As Heero turned to climb up onto the rocks, Wufei reached out and caught hold of his arm. "I think... I think I'd better stay back a bit. If he sees me and tries to run again..." It hurt to admit it, but Duo might take off again if he spotted him. And these jagged, slippery rocks were no place for something like that.
The depth of his sympathy for the pain in Wufei's voice surprised Heero. Impulsively, he pulled Wufei towards him in a one-armed, awkward hug. "You didn't mean to hurt him. Once we've reassured him and he's had a chance to calm down, he'll understand that."
Though initially startled by Heero's move, Wufei was grateful for the awkward attempt at comfort. "I hope so," he responded. "But..."
Heero shook him gently. "No buts. Have a little faith, Wufei. Duo *will* understand. Now come on, let's go get him."
As Heero released him, Wufei said gratefully, "Heero - thank you."
Heero nodded in return, then started climbing up the rocks with Wufei close behind him.
***
Duo's throat hurt, his chest ached, and his eyes burned. He was cold and exhausted; yet he still couldn't stop the great, gasping sobs choking him. He needed to get back to shore, but at this point he wasn't even sure if he *could*. For one thing, his vision was too blurred with tears to see the way back over the rocks even if there was enough moonlight to guide him. And he was so stiff and sore and tired that climbing and jumping back the way he had came seemed an impossible task.
A faint sound carried over the noise of the breaking waves and his own sobs. 'Oh god,' he thought in horror, 'it can't be... please, no...' The sound reached him again. Heero, calling his name.
Duo fought desperately to get his crying under control. 'I can't let him see me like this...' But all he managed to do was turn the tearing sobs into sobs interspersed with painful hiccups. His control was shot all to hell and he was out of time to rebuild it.
Coming up behind Duo, Heero called his name again. He didn't want to startle him. The rocks were too slippery to be jumping around on. He caught a glimpse of a pale face, wet hair straggling across it, as Duo glanced back at him, then quickly hid his face against his legs again. 'Oh Duo...' he thought unhappily. 'Why haven't you come back to shore?' The spray from the waves was surprisingly heavy and cold, a periodic shower rather than a mist. As he neared Duo, he realized that the slender form hunched before him was shaking. And not just with cold, either. 'Duo's... crying?!'
He had never, *ever* seen Duo cry. Not when he was beaten, or shot, or being stitched up. 'But *we've* managed to do this to you...' And Heero knew damn well that it was "we", not "Wufei". This wasn't *just* a result of Wufei's unknowingly hurtful words. This was a result of the past few days filled with glimpses of happiness interspersed with mistake after hurtful mistake on the part of himself and Wufei. 'And that's without even taking into consideration the two years before that of believing that we didn't want him...'
Heero shot a quick glance back over his shoulder. Wufei was standing and waiting nearly halfway back to shore. Ready to join Heero if needed, but keeping his distance until they were certain that his presence would not cause Duo to bolt again.
"Duo," Heero repeated, reaching out to touch Duo's hunched shoulder. Duo flinched away from his touch, sending a sharp stab of pain through Heero's heart. "Duo, look at me," he said firmly.
Slowly and reluctantly, Duo raised his head and turned it to meet Heero's eyes. He was prepared to see disdain there; after all, Heero had found him bawling like a baby and soaking wet because he was too foolish to get away from the water. Instead, he found sorrow and regret. "What?" he tried to ask, but it came out as a croak instead; his throat was raw and his voice hoarse from crying.
"Wufei told me what happened. Duo, I've *been* to L2; I know what at least some parts of it are like," Heero said.
'Oh god, he's *guessed*,' Duo thought in sudden panic. Despite his earlier determination not to count on a positive reaction from Heero, some small trace of hope had lingered. Hope that, if he handled his explanation just right, Heero *might* possibly be able to overlook his past. If Heero had figured it out on his own, any chance of that was probably gone.
"Duo, how could you possibly think that anything in your past would affect my feelings for you? Is your opinion of me really that low? Do you really think that I'm that shallow?" Heero genuinely *was* a bit hurt that Duo was so ready to assume the worst of him. He knew that his own past actions might not have left Duo with much faith in him but it still hurt to have that lack of faith confirmed.
Duo's eyes went wide at Heero's pained questions. He had never thought of it *that* way. He shook his head frantically, his voice still refusing to cooperate. It was *his* past that was the problem, not their reactions!
"I love *you* for the wonderful, caring person you are. I'd like to know about the events that shaped that person, but knowing about them certainly won't make me stop loving you," Heero told him firmly.
Heero was abruptly nearly knocked out of his crouch and onto his back as Duo flung himself against his chest, clutching desperately at Heero's shirt and hiding his face against Heero's neck. Heero managed to keep from going over backwards but only barely. He eased himself down onto his knees and brought his arms up around Duo, gently rubbing his back the way that Wufei had shown him earlier that afternoon. 'God, he's *soaked*! And so cold... We've got to get him back to the hotel and warmed up...' Heero beckoned for Wufei to join them.
"Duo, Wufei didn't know anything about L2 until I told him a few things after you ran off. He didn't mean to hurt you. He's afraid that you'll never forgive him; that he's lost you for good," Heero said carefully. "I told him that he was wrong; that you would forgive him; that he hadn't ruined his chance with you."
Duo's grasp on Heero's shirt tightened and he pulled his face away from Heero's neck, straining to see Heero's face in the dimming light from the discarded flashlight beside him. He was certain that he could not have heard Heero correctly. 'Fei's afraid I won't forgive him? He still *wants* me? What did Heero *tell* him about L2?' he wondered dazedly. 'Does he really understand how ugly my past is?' Then, an instant later, '*Heero* told *Wufei* that he hadn't lost his chance with me? But...' If Heero loved him and wanted him, why would he try to reassure *Wufei*? Unless... A faint spark of hope flickered back to life. Had they somehow figured out what he really wanted?
Bringing his lips very close to Duo's ear, Heero said, "You don't have to choose, Duo." He pulled away slightly, just in time to catch a glimpse of Duo's face as it lit up with hope.
Wufei arrived just in time to see that same flare of hope cross Duo's face. Dropping to his knees beside the other two, he said, "Duo?"
Duo flinched at Wufei's voice and hid his face against Heero's neck again. Despite Heero's encouraging words, he kept remembering the look on Wufei's face and the tone of his voice as he said "*disgusting*" and imagining that look and tone being directed at *him*.
Pain lanced through Wufei as Duo cringed away from him and hid his face against Heero. He gave Heero a despairing look. Heero glared at him and mouthed, "Have faith." Drawing a steadying breath, Wufei reached out and touched Duo's shoulder lightly. "Duo, please... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you! Please, give me a chance to make it up to you..."
'Fei sounds upset... Maybe...' Duo turned his head and cautiously peeked through his wet, tangled bangs at Wufei. With two flashlights now providing light, he could see a bit more clearly. And Wufei *did* seem pretty upset...
Duo shifted slightly in Heero's arms, turning a bit more towards Wufei and slowly raising his head. He was grateful that the sobs had finally died down while Heero held him and he now only had the occasional hiccup left to embarrass him. Though he was pretty sure that his red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks would clearly give away what he'd been doing anyway.
'He's been *crying*...' Wufei realized, horrified. 'I made Duo *cry*...' He had never seen Duo cry before, no matter how badly he'd been injured, no matter how badly awry a mission had gone. 'But everyone has a breaking point... He was already half-sick from tension this morning... Then this afternoon and evening had been so wonderful; we were all so happy and relaxed...' His words would have been a sucker-punch coming on top of the fun they'd all been sharing. "Duo, I'm sorry. I had no business being so judgmental about a person I knew nothing about, a person in a *situation* I knew nothing about. I certainly never meant any of what I said to apply to *you* - but I had no right saying it about *anyone*."
Encouraged by the fact that Duo was still listening, Wufei raised his hand to gently brush dripping strands of chestnut out of Duo's eyes. "I am not disgusted by you, Duo. There is nothing you could tell me about your past that would make me stop loving you."
Duo closed his eyes and leaned his cheek against Wufei's hand, pressing it in turn against Heero's shoulder. Wufei sounded sincere. And his touch was as gentle and caring as before. Maybe...
"I love you and I always will. Duo, may I kiss you?" Wufei asked, then held his breath, hoping desperately that his gamble would pay off. That Duo would take the kiss as the reassurance and promise it was meant to be.
Duo's eyes flew open at Wufei's request. Wufei wanted to kiss him? *Now*? When he was soaked with saltwater spray and dirty and messy from falling and crying? He opened his mouth to reply, then remembered whose arms he was in. Heero had said that he didn't have to choose, but surely letting Wufei kiss him while he was literally in Heero's arms was a bit much to ask...
Heero felt Duo tense in his arms in response to Wufei's question. He also felt the indrawn breath that was choked off before turning into an answer. Making a guess at the reason, he repeated, "Duo, you don't have to choose. It's okay. I promise. You can give me *my* first kiss, okay?"
"Okay," Duo managed to choke out. He could hardly even recognize his own voice, it was so rough and hoarse. And that single word was enough to leave him fighting off a cough as his raw throat protested. Meeting Wufei's eyes, he simply nodded, not daring to try to speak again.
This was going to be - damn awkward. Wufei gave Heero an apologetic look. Duo had a death-grip on a handful of Heero's shirt and didn't seem to intend to let go. Which meant that he was going to have to lean in front of Heero and kiss Duo while he was still in Heero's arms.
Heero gave Wufei a reassuring if slightly wry smile as he shifted Duo so that he could move one arm out of the way. Despite his earlier expectation that it would sting to see Wufei kiss Duo, he really wasn't going to mind what was about to happen. Not if it took the pain out of both Duo's and Wufei's eyes and voices. He had not been surprised by how much he felt Duo's pain. But it *was* surprising how much it hurt to see Wufei's. He had not expected that. It raised questions that he was not prepared to consider too closely just yet.
Wide-eyed, Duo watched Wufei's face for any sign of hesitation or revulsion. He *wanted* to believe everything was going to be okay. That both Heero and Wufei still loved him and wanted him, regardless of his past. But after the number of times he'd let himself get his hopes up only to have them dashed again, it was damn hard to believe.
Inching closer until his knees were pressing tightly against Heero's, Wufei leaned over. The anxiety in Duo's eyes drove him to repeat firmly, "I love you," before pressing his lips to Duo's. He was afraid for a moment that he would overbalance and end up falling on Duo, but strong fingers were suddenly gripping his shoulder and supporting him. 'Heero...' Trusting Heero to look after the practical end of things, Wufei concentrated on trying to pour all of his love for Duo into the kiss. Trying to show Duo how much he cared. Yet it remained a closed-mouth kiss. No sucking or licking or nibbling. No seeking tongue or teasing teeth. Just lips moving gently against lips. This kiss had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with love and tenderness.
Duo's lips softened and responded to Wufei's kiss. Once it became clear that Wufei genuinely *did* want to kiss him, Duo had feared that Wufei would move too fast, ask for more than he could give right now. He was just beginning to accept that he was loved and wanted; he needed time to adjust to that knowledge and to restore some of his faith in that love. Time to rebuild his battered trust.
Wufei's kiss, chaste but warm and tender, reassured Duo that he would have that time. That there was no rush; they loved each other and that was all that mattered right now. Everything else could wait until the time was right.
As Wufei finally drew back from Duo, he said once more, "I love you, Duo." Heero's fingers left his shoulder and he abruptly became very aware of the hardness of the rock under his knees and the cold seeping into him as the wind blew across his wave-dampened clothing. He realized with a start just how cold Duo's lips had been, how cold and wet *Duo* must be. "We need to get back to the hotel and get warmed up," he said, struggling to rise on stiff and uncooperative legs. Once standing, he held out a hand to help Duo up.
Duo reluctantly released his handful of Heero's shirt, caught hold of Wufei's hand, and tried to stand. "Tried" being the operative word. He made it halfway up before quite simply running out of energy. He sank back to the rock on suddenly rubbery legs. 'Oh *shit*,' he thought wearily. "How the hell am I going to make it back if I can't even stand up?" he muttered, keeping his voice low to avoid irritating his raw throat.
Having briskly rubbed the circulation back into his own legs, Heero rose and offered his hand to Duo as well. Together, he and Wufei managed to haul Duo to his feet again, but it became clear after only a few feet that he simply didn't have the energy left for this. "Look, we can either keep hobbling along and get back to shore in an hour or so," Heero pointed out, "or you can let me carry you and you'll be back at the hotel enjoying a nice warm bath by then."
Utterly humiliated, Duo gave in. "A warm bath sounds awfully good about now..." he croaked out hoarsely. As Heero went to lift Duo into his arms, he added, "Heero, just go ahead and use a fireman's lift. I'll feel like an idiot anyway, at least you'll be able to move faster and balance better that way."
Heero paused before following Duo's instructions. Looking Duo straight in the eyes, he said firmly, "Duo, needing help and accepting it doesn't make you an idiot. Denying that you need it and refusing it when it's offered does. After all, you're not going around setting your own broken bones, are you?" he teased.
Duo choked off a snicker. He was a little bit afraid that if he started laughing, he might not be able to stop. "No, but I *have* been using a wrist that's probably sprained," he admitted, triggering off a bout of coughing as his throat protested. "Bent it the wrong way the last time I fell on the way back to the rental place."
Wufei winced at the reminder of how upset Duo had been. Even if Duo had forgiven him, it would be a long time before he forgave himself for his ill-advised words and the hurt they'd caused.
***
Back at the hotel, it didn't take long to get Duo into that warm bath. Heero waited outside the door in case he needed help while Wufei took a quick shower in the suite's other bathroom. Then Heero went off to shower while Wufei helped Duo wash his saltwater-laden hair in the sink. Trading off again, Wufei headed off to call Une then to the kitchenette to heat up some canned soup since none of them had actually eaten their evening meal. Meanwhile, Heero tended to Duo's scraped hands and wrapped his sore and swollen wrist.
"You still need to tell us about your past, you know," Heero said quietly as he finished wrapping Duo's wrist. "Not tonight - your throat's too sore and you're exhausted. But we *do* need to know, if only so that we don't end up accidentally hurting you again."
Duo closed his eyes, then nodded. He wasn't looking forward to dredging up even more old memories, but Heero was right.
"We're cancelling the training and demos for tomorrow - no, actually, it's today now - so that we can all get some of this straightened out. We need to work out exactly what each of us wants and needs from this relationship if we're going to make it work. Oh, and Wufei has a surprise for the evening, so you'll want to be rested up," Heero continued. Catching Duo's anxious look, he assured him, "You'll like it. And all three of us are going - Wufei bought me a ticket too, even before he figured out that you didn't want to have to choose between us."
Wufei returned with the soup just then and there was silence for a while as they all ate. Duo ate almost mechanically, mulling over a request he would like to make. It wasn't exactly a *need*, and he didn't want either of them to take it the wrong way, but... Reaching a decision, Duo rose and found a pen and paper. Quickly, before he could lose his nerve, he scribbled out a note. He didn't think his voice was up to this much explanation; particularly not if he wanted it to recover enough to talk about his past later on. He handed the note to Heero and waited anxiously.
Heero read it through, then handed it to Wufei before nodding in response.
Wufei read the note as well, then said, "Of course, Duo. You have only to ask, you know." He smiled warmly and added, "We love you and want you to be happy. Unfortunately, neither of us has been doing very well at that so far. It will make things a great deal easier for all of us if you *do* ask."
Duo nodded in acknowledgement. He didn't think there were a lot of things that were important enough to him to actually make a point of asking for; but he would try to keep Wufei's request in mind. This time though, the request *had* been important to him. He was trying very hard to believe Heero's and Wufei's assurances; but it was difficult. This - would help. He hoped. As long as they really understood what he was asking.
A short while later, Duo lay in bed, tensely waiting. Had they understood? As first Heero, then Wufei, came into the room wearing jogging pants and t-shirts and slipped into bed on either side of him, Duo gradually relaxed. The amount of clothing that they were wearing when he knew perfectly well that they usually only slept in boxers confirmed that they had indeed understood what he wanted. That he wanted them all to sleep together. *Just* sleep. Nothing more.
Curling up with his head pillowed on Heero's shoulder and Wufei tucked against his back, Duo drifted off to sleep with real hope in his heart. Hope that maybe, just maybe, everything really *was* going to work out okay. That those he loved *did* love him in return. That they *could* make a home and a life together. Maybe...
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