Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Women Aren't So Weak, Wufei! ❯ Chapter 15

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter 15: Women Aren't So Weak Wufei!

*warning* this story is definitely going to contain some mature themes, thus the rating. They are not so much about sex or anything...well, they are about the female sex...and some, uh, things we have to deal with *cough*time of the month*cough*. There's also some profanity.

*disclaimer* I DO NOT OWN GUNDAM WING OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS!! Unfortunately...If I did, the series would not have ended where it did. It would be much longer and a lot more would have happened...

Sorry this took forever to get out...I seem to be saying that a lot lately, huh? Well, anyway, it's pretty long to make up for the wait, and I think it's funny...hopefully it is. CHECK OUT MY BIO WHEN YOU GET DONE READING THIS! IT'S ON THE AUTHOR'S PAGE!!!!



"You have GOT to be kidding me." Quatre looked from the outfit that was laid out on the bed to the girls in the doorway, and back again incredulously. "You want ME to wear THAT in PUBLIC??"

"Uh...w-well...yeah," Hilde stuttered. "Why? Don't you like it?" Quatre looked at her like she was crazy.

"NO I don't LIKE it!! Look, I've put up with a lot this last week, but this is going too far! Where would I even wear something like THAT?!"

"You haven't put up with jack shit, Quat," Duo said, stepping out of the bathroom in his new ensemble. "I mean, you had a one-piece bathing suit, you didn't get into any guy trouble, you never got your period..." Duo trailed off and frowned. "Actually, absolutely NOTHING embarrassing happened to you this week. That's so not fair..."

"Duo?" Trowa asked from Wufei's top bunk. "What the HELL are you wearing?" Duo blushed and looked down at himself.

"Oh, well you see...um...they told me to wear it!!" he exclaimed, pointing to the girls who were still standing in the doorway. "And I'm tired of arguing! To hell with it all!"

"Well I think it looks good, Duo," Sally spoke up.

"Why thank you," Duo replied, curtsying slightly. He was wearing skin tight, black leather flares with a royal blue tube top that left nothing to the imagination. A silver choker adorned his neck, while several other silver bracelets hung from his wrists. His hair was in its normal braid. Quatre groaned.

"Fine! Since Duo's wearing...THAT...I guess I'll wear this... But did you have to choose PINK? I'll look like a life size Barbie doll!"

"Heh, that was the point," Dorothy said, shoving Quatre into the bathroom before he could retort.

"Hey guys, how does this look?" Relena asked, entering the room. Wufei followed at a much slower pace, with Midii behind him, occasionally giving him a slight push to keep him going.

"We thought Wufei's swim suit looked great earlier, so we decided to just go with that look again." Midii said, looking at the Chinese teen. Wufei scowled, and looked around the room to see who all was there. He was dressed almost the same as Duo, only his top was deep red and his jewelry was gold. His hair was pulled into a high ponytail.

"I hate acting like a big doll for them to dress up," Wufei commented to Heero, as he walked over to stand by him. The trigger-happy teen just nodded in response.

"Ok, who's next?" Midii exclaimed, clapping her hands together. Trowa and Heero both looked at each other and groaned, before following the two blondes out of the room.

"Where are we going anyway?" Duo asked, plopping down on a bed to pull on his black platforms. Hilde glanced at Sally, who in return looked towards Dorothy.

"I guess we can tell them now," Dorothy shrugged. "We're going clubbing." Duo paused, and both he and Wufei blinked.

"Uh, eh-heh, excuse me? Dost my ears deceive me? Did you just say we're going...clubbing? As in...at a dance club? Dancing? Where there are tons of other drunk GUYS? Have you, by any chance, gone completely insane??" Duo asked calmly. Wufei, on the other hand...

"WHAAAT?!? Baka onnas!! I REFUSE to go to a stupid dance club!"

"But Wufei! You're already dressed for it! Come on, we won't go for TOO long," Sally said.

"Yeah, Duo. You can deal with one more thing as a woman. And we'll keep all those drunk guys away from you," Hilde teased.

"Not funny," Duo snapped.

"I really don't like this you guys," Quatre said angrily as he stepped out of the bathroom. Duo tore his glare away from Hilde to see what the blonde was wearing. Both of his eyebrows shot up.

"Whoa, Quat! Um...wow, ok. Can I call you Skipper?"

"Shut up," Quatre growled. He stepped more into the room, wearing a white miniskirt and a tight, hot pink halter-top. On his feet were a pair of Relena's pink platform sandals. His blonde hair fell in natural curls down his back and framed his face. Before anyone could say much else, Heero and Trowa returned to the room with Relena and Midii close behind.

"Have you figured out where we're going yet?" Trowa asked. He was wearing a pair of low-riding jean flares and a shirt similar to Quatre's, only it was forest green and covered in gold glitter. It didn't cover his whole stomach, so some of it was showing. He also had on several gold bracelets, and his naturally curly hair had also been left down.

"Yeah," Heero added. He jutted a thumb over his shoulder. "They wouldn't tell us." He had on a baby blue T-shirt that had the word "Angel" printed across the front in royal blue, sparkling letters. It had a low neck and fitted him tightly, riding up slightly to show his stomach. The jeans he was wearing were similar to Trowa's, except they were a darker blue. His hair was pulled back into a half ponytail.

"Hey! How come everyone else gets to wear pants?" Quatre complained.

"Um, hell~oo? I'm wearing a skirt," Hilde said.

"Yeah, same here," Midii added. Duo ignored them and answered Trowa instead.

"We're going to some dance club or something," he said. Heero, Trowa, and Quatre went deathly silent.

"Pardon?" Trowa finally said. Heero and Quatre just groaned.

"Well guys, now that you're all ready, let's go!" Sally said, dashing out the door before anyone else could question where they were going. Duo followed her.

"This. Sucks. Ass," he mumbled. None of the other guys seemed to disagree with him.

* * *

Some time later, the group walked into a dance club located on the boardwalk of the beach. As soon as they made it through the door, they could feel the floor vibrating from the volume of the music that was pouring out of the speakers. A barrage of smells hit them, ranging from smoke to alcohol to cheap perfume and everything else. It was great, or the girls thought so anyway, smiling widely and eagerly shoving their way towards the dance floor.

"Um, guys? It just occurred to me, that we're only seventeen, so we can't even legally drink yet, and um...well..." Quatre trailed off, glancing around warily.

"Quat, don't worry so much. Sally took care of it," Duo said, unconsciously starting to move with the beat of the music. A small smile was working its way onto his face.

"What do you mean? She's only nineteen," Quatre replied.

"Keep it down, will ya?" Duo snapped quietly. "You don't need to announce it to everybody. She got us fake I.Ds."

"Yeah, by taking advantage of Preventor resources," Wufei snorted. Quatre's eyes widened.

"And they all agreed to this? Even Relena?"

"Apparently," Duo mumbled, not really paying attention.

"She's on vacation," Heero spoke up. "Remember?"

"Oh," Quatre said meekly.

"And did you see that sign?" Duo asked excitedly. "Once we're in, we can get drinks without I.Ds. This is supposed to strictly be a twenty-one and older bar."

"I hope we don't get caught."

"Stop worrying, Quatre!"

"Maybe Relena didn't even know," Trowa mused.

"Do you know where they went?" Quatre asked, peering out into the crowd.

"Who cares," Wufei muttered, heading towards the bar.

"There they are!" Duo shouted, pushing his way through the crowd. Heero and Trowa turned to follow Wufei. Quatre stood uncertainly for a moment before rushing to catch up with the guys at the bar. When he finally got there, he plopped down on one of the stools next to Trowa.

"Quatre," Trowa said, not looking up from his drink. "I thought you went with Duo. What took you so long?"

"Well I got lost in the crowd, and I got pinched by those guys over there about five times! They kept calling me Barbie (A/N: Did I mention that I DO own Barbie?...J/K!!!!)!" Quatre complained, his face bright red from embarrassment.

"You got pinched?" Trowa repeated faintly.

"Um...yeah, you know..." Quatre paused to brush some hair back from his face. "I didn't realize how crude some men can be." Trowa just shook his head at the naivety of the young blonde. "What are you drinking?" Quatre asked suddenly, looking at the glass Trowa was holding. Trowa shrugged.

"Dunno, I just asked for something strong, and they gave me this. It's actually pretty good."

Quatre was quiet for a second before he said, "Order me one."

* * *

Elsewhere in the club Duo had completely forgotten his current condition and was dancing wildly with the music. Hilde, Sally, and Dorothy were with him, but Relena and Midii had wandered off somewhere in the crowd. The four of them were sweating from every pore by now, but were having a blast. Duo hair was coming out of his braid and sticking to the sides of his face, but he totally ignored it. He was so detached from everything that he didn't notice when a pair of masculine arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him close. In fact, he just started grinding with the body behind him without a care in the world. It wasn't until the volume of the music lowered so an announcement could be made about some contest that Duo registered the rock hard body behind him. He instantly froze, wondering how the hell he had gotten into this position. One of the hands wrapped around his waist traced across his stomach and down the outside of his thigh, causing Duo's eyes to widen.

"Shit!" he exclaimed, breaking out of the hold he was in. He whirled around to look at whom he'd been dancing with. The man was obviously stark drunk, because, he was blinking bewilderedly down at his hands wondering where the beautiful woman he'd just been dancing with had gone. Duo didn't even hang around to slap him, though he felt he should have. Instead, he glanced around wondering where Hilde and them had wondered off to. 'Maybe they're at the bar,' he thought to himself. Pushing through the crowd, he made his way to where he thought the others were.

* * *

"Did you see how he was dancing with that guy?" Hilde whispered, still mingling in the crowd with Dorothy and Sally.

"Unbelievable," Dorothy whispered back.

"I don't think he even realized it," Sally spoke up.

"And damned if that guy wasn't freakin' hot!" Hilde exclaimed.

"Yeah, go figure," Dorothy mumbled.

"Did you see the look on his face though, when Duo broke away from him," Hilde laughed.

"Yeah!" Sally said, laughing too. "He was so drunk he didn't even realize him standing right in front of him. It was pathetic!"

"I'm surprised Duo didn't notice in the first place," Dorothy said, looking thoughtful. "Him being a Gundam pilot and all. He's supposed to have great senses or something." Hilde shrugged.

"They do half the time, but the other half...well, let's just say Duo can be as clueless as a brick sometimes."

"Oh, and just when does THIS happen?" Sally asked playfully, nudging Hilde in the ribs with her elbow. The smaller girl blushed.

"Don't make me say it," she said, smirking. "I believe you can figure it out." The three laughed and continued dancing.

* * *

"No."

"Please?"

"Nu-uh."

"Come on, how many times are you going to make me ask you?"

"..."

"I'm not going to give up."

"You're wasting your breath."

"Babe, come on, just ONE dance."

*smack* "Do NOT call me babe," Heero growled at the guy's back as he finally walked away, holding his cheek. Heero just sighed looking down at his hand. "I never thought I'd be the one doing the hitting," he mumbled. Wufei snorted at him.

"You should have smacked him ten minutes ago when he first asked you," the Chinese teen mumbled, sipping some of his drink.

"Hn."

"Hey guys!" Heero and Wufei groaned, turning to look at the braided beauty who bounced up to the bar they were at. Wufei blinked his eyes a few times, trying to get rid of the double of Duo that had suddenly appeared in his vision. "Man, you guys should really be out on the dance floor. They're playing some AWESOME music. I like, totally forgot who I was for a while," Duo babbled, plopping down on a seat next to Heero.

"Hooray for you," Heero deadpanned. He drank the rest of his drink in one gulp and slammed the glass down on the counter. "Gimme another one," he told the bartender who was standing in front of him. His voice was beginning to slur.

"Are you sure? That's your fifth one," the man said, looking warily at the girl in front of him. He'd seen how she slapped that one guy.

"I said, gimme another one!" Heero growled, reaching for his gun. Unfortunately, he discovered it wasn't there. "Damn it..."

"Heero, Heero, Heero," Duo sighed. "I never thought I'd see you like this. We haven't even been here an hour yet!" Heero just glared at him. Beside him, Wufei slammed his glass down on the bar too.

"One more over here too," he demanded. Duo sighed again, and stood up.

"I think I'm gonna go talk to Trowa and Quat," he said, walking quickly down to the opposite side of the bar. He found them in the same condition as Wufei and Heero. In fact, Quatre was probably worse.

"Hi Duo!" the blonde boy-turned-girl chirped. "Where've you been?"

"I was dancing," Duo said warily, glancing at Trowa. He just shrugged.

"Don't look at me. He's only had two drinks."

"Man, what are you guys drinking?" Duo asked incredulously.

"We don't know!" Quatre chirped again. "It's really good though! Here, try some!" He shoved his drink into Duo's face. Duo instinctively took a step back before taking the drink that had been thrust at him. He sniffed it warily, and then took a tentative sip. It burned the back of his throat as he swallowed it, and he made a face.

"Not bad...really strong though," Duo said, handing it back Quatre.

"That's what we asked for," Trowa said.

"Oooooh, look! There's Dorothy! Let's go dance with them!" Quatre said excitedly, jumping off his seat.

"I wanted something to drink though," Duo whined. Quatre shrugged.

"Come on then, Trowa!" Without waiting for him to answer, Quatre grabbed his arm and dragged him off the stool.

"Ack! Wait! Duo, help!!" Trowa screeched, trying to get back to the bar. But Quatre proved to have an unnaturally strong grip. Duo just waved as Trowa was dragged off into the crowd. Not wanting to sit by himself, he moved back down the bar to where Wufei and Heero were. They were busy talking to someone else though, and Duo couldn't help smirking at their conversation.

"Damn it, I said no!" Heero exclaimed, glaring out of the corner of his eye at another guy who had come to pester him.

"Here, I'll buy you a drink," the guy said hopefully.

"The drinks are free!" Heero yelled, turning to look, er, GLARE at the guy head on. That was a mistake. Unlike the previous guy, this one was actually good looking. VERY good looking, with his deep blue eyes and naturally blonde hair. He obviously was at the beach often, probably a surfer since he was tan and had bulky muscles. Heero's eyes widened slightly, and he gulped unconsciously.

Beside him, Wufei noticed this and started quoting Duo from earlier, murmuring, "Swapping spit under the stars," as he drank from his newly refilled glass. Heero heard him, and instantly turned away from the guy, his eyes hardening.

"Well fine. As much as I hate to be turned down by a pretty woman, I can deal." The guy stood up and walked away, or so Heero thought until he sat down on the other side of Wufei, where Duo had been standing. "How about you?" Wufei choked on his drink as it went down the wrong tube.

"Smooth move, Wu-man," Duo mumbled, pounding on his back. He was leaning on the bar in between Wufei and Heero, since the other guy had taken his seat.

"Excuse me?" Wufei said, once he recovered.

"Wanna dance?" the man asked again.

"Eh, I don't think so."

"Seriously?"

"Oh yeah."

"Man, I don't think I've ever been turned down so many times," the guy mumbled. He looked over at Duo.

"What about you? Would YOU like to dance with me?" Duo looked up from the drink he had ordered.

"Who, me? Oh, I just got back from the dance floor, so I'm kind of tired right now. Maybe later?" he said, smiling sweetly. The blonde guy nodded.

"Works for me." He didn't go anywhere though, and instead ordered a drink from the bar. Wufei and Heero gaped at Duo.

"What?" he asked defensively.

"That guy asked me about fifteen times, and he only asked you once before backing off," Heero said. "How do you do that?" Duo blushed.

"Well, eh-heh, that's the excuse I usually get from girls when I bother them," he said, lowering his voice so no one else would hear. Wufei smirked.

"Go figure," he mumbled.

The guy hung around for almost fifteen minutes, but when Duo showed no signs of getting up to dance again, he finally left. The three released a collective sigh of relief, but unfortunately the seat was not left empty long. A tall, lanky, blonde woman with forest green eyes that matched Trowa's sat down as soon as the other man stood up. Simultaneously, another woman with clear blue eyes and short black hair leaned onto the bar on the other side of Heero. Duo, Wufei, and Heero eyed them suspiciously.

"We saw how you handled those men," the blonde said, her voice deep and husky.

"Veeery impressive," said the other one. The guys said nothing, but the women continued, undeterred.

"So we came to a conclusion," the blonde said again, leaning over as if to spread some juicy gossip. The movement allowed an ample amount of cleavage to show.

"And what would that be?" Duo asked, seemingly uninterested. The two girls shared a look and smirked.

"Wanna dance?" asked the blonde, lowering her voice a notch.

"Excuse me?" Wufei coughed as his eyes shot wide open.

"You know," the blue-eyed woman said teasingly. She trailed one of her manicured fingernails up the back a very shocked Heero. "We could do some frrreeak-dancing," she continued, leaning into Heero and smacking her lips as if she was about to eat some gourmet food. The weight of her body caused Heero to snap back to reality, and he abruptly jumped off the bar stool, his eyes wide. Wufei followed, only he got off the stool a bit less ungracefully. Well ok, he actually FELL off. The two women ignored them and closed in on their last prey, namely Duo as he suddenly became trapped by two stools at his sides and the girls in front.

"Eh...eh-heh, um, I don't swing that way," Duo said meekly, backing away from the probing stares. He felt as if they were stripping him with their eyes, which they probably were.

"Oh really?" the black-haired beauty asked.

"Then WHY weren't you dancing with those guys? Even I can admit they were hot," the blonde added.

"Um...well, I HAVE a BOYfriend, so, uh, I couldn't dance with them! Yeah..."

"Where is he?" the blue-eyed one asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Oh...you know...probably off dancing with another woman!" Duo laughed. It sounded very fake. "I mean, you know how men are...alllll....cocky...and...full of themselves...and stuff..." he trailed off, and offered them a hopeful smile.

"Oh yes, I know EXACTLY what you mean," the blonde said, feigning sympathy. "Which is why you need to come with US. We'll show you what a good time REALLY is." Duo's eyes widened even more.

"Ah, no really! That's ok! Oh, look! There he is right now. Uh...FRED! Fred honey, come here!" With that, Duo shoved both girls aside and sped out into the crowd.

"Damn!" the blonde sighed, snapping her fingers.

"We almost had her," said the other. They were left sulking at the bar.

(A/N: Hope that didn't offend anyone...)

Elsewhere...

"AHHHH!!!! How could you guys LEAVE me like that?!" Duo screamed. He'd finally found Wufei and Heero in the crowd. He couldn't tell if they were actually dancing or just pretending to dance though, so he ignored their weird swaying. Maybe the alcohol had finally caught up with them and they were just drunk...

"Sorry Du-chan," Wufei slurred, leaning on Heero's shoulder for extra support.

"Ya, we like, thought you could totally handle them," Heero added. He hiccupped before continuing. "You know...POW!" He swung at an invisible enemy to visualize his statement. Duo raised an eyebrow.

'Yep, they're drunk.' As soon as he thought this, Wufei hiccupped. 'Stark drunk.'

"Where's *hiccup* Sally?" Wufei asked. Then he paused. "And the others too," he added as an afterthought. Duo shook his head.

"I don't know, but I think we should go find them and get you guys home."

"No!" Heero shouted out, looking alarmed. "Wanna dance. Want...another drink..."

"How many did you have?" Duo asked warily. Heero appeared to be in deep concentration for a minute, before shrugging. "The bartender said you were on your fifth when I went to see Trowa and Quat," Duo said helpfully. Heero nodded.

"I los' track *hiccup* aroun'...seven. *Hiccup* I think..."

"Shit..."

"An' I had one'mo than 'im," Wufei slurred proudly.

"I don't get it," Duo murmured. "You two were fine a second ago. That stuff kicks in pretty abruptly." He paused and looked around for second. "Ok, guys, Stay. Right. Here. I'm going to find the others. I WILL BE RIGHT BACK," Duo said, slowly and loudly so they would hear him. They both nodded. Duo turned and walked deeper into the crowd, looking for the girls. He didn't have to look long, and found them all dancing in a big group. Even Quatre was with them, but Trowa stood off to the side looking awkward. The green-eyed teen spotted Duo and immediately started towards him.

"Quatre had two drinks and I swear he's lost it," Trowa said when he reached Duo.

"How many did you have?"

"Three." Duo nodded.

"Well, Wufei and Heero had an unknown amount but they lost track around seven. They're completely out-of-it."

"I think it's about time we headed back," Trowa said slowly, looking at the group of dancing females behind him.

"Yeah, we definitely should. I'm tired of getting hit on by guys AND girls," Duo spat. Trowa raised an eyebrow.

"GIRLS hit on you?"

"They saw us refusing guys and jumped to conclusions."

"Aah... Well, let's go tell them we need to leave now," Trowa said, referring to Sally and the others. Duo nodded, and they went to gather the girls. It didn't take much persuading, because they were all tired. Except for when Quatre started bawling because he didn't want to leave the dance floor. They almost had to drag him out. Almost... When they finally got to where Duo had left Heero and Wufei, they found them both dancing crazily. They'd formed quite a crowd. Whether it was because people actually wanted to watch them or they were just avoiding their flailing arms was unknown.

"Should have brought my camera," Duo muttered. When Heero and Wufei saw their group they broke out into wide smiles. It was kind of scary. Both of them had to be dragged off the floor similarly to Quatre, but they finally got them home and into bed.

The next morning was not pretty. All the bathrooms were occupied, and sounds of people retching and complaining could be heard all over the house. But I won't go into those details. ( ^_^ )

* * *

For the last few days they were on vacation, the group spent their time doing various things. While it was light out they usually stayed down at the beach. They went on a boat tour one day, and on another day they rented jet skis. At night they either went out to eat or went to a movie. They avoided the dance clubs, though mainly for the guys' sake. The last night they were there, Tuesday, was one of the best. There was a fair on the boardwalk of the beach, and they'd decided to go to it after they finished their souvenir shopping. It was a lot of fun, and they stayed out really late, so they all came home exhausted. Happy, but exhausted. Without a second thought, they'd all fallen asleep.

The next morning, Wufei was awakened by extremely loud yelling from downstairs. Groaning, he fished his glasses case out from under his pillow and groggily put the glasses on. The first thing he noticed was that he was the only one in the room. A quick glance at the clock told him it was only 9:30. He winced at that the fact that he thought it was "only" 9:30. Two weeks ago he would have been furious at himself for sleeping so late. Lately though, he and the other guys' internal clocks had been shut down.

"Well not today apparently," Wufei mumbled to himself. He slowly climbed out of bed and jumped to the ground, landing nimbly on his feet. The second thing he noticed that morning was how the sheets of the others' beds were thrown everywhere, like they'd been in a hurry. For a brief second he was worried that something had happened, thus the reason for all the yelling, but the third thing he noticed was that the yelling actually sounded more like...cheering? Curiosity quickly took hold of Wufei and he made his way downstairs after a quick glance in the mirror to make sure he was presentable. Well, ok, it wasn't THAT quick, he actually had to stop and brush his hair and straighten out his pajama pants and matching spaghetti-strapped shirt. But after that, he headed downstairs.

Wufei found the sources of all the noise in the living room. He blinked wearily a couple of times before asking, "What are you all so happy about?" He pulled off his glasses and rubbed an arm across his eyes, not noticing how quiet the room had gotten. Then he put his glasses back on and looked at the occupants in the room for the first time. His jaw dropped.

Standing before him were the girls and the other guys who were actually...GUYS. Shock settled in as Wufei looked at the people in the room whose wide-eyed expressions matched his own. They had every right to be happy, he realized vaguely. They were men again. Granted they all looked funny wearing girls' pajama pants that were way to short on them and spaghetti-strapped shirts. But still, they were MEN.

There was just one problem with all of this.

Wufei was still a girl.



Hoo-boy. Well, I've been planning this part for a while. It's for all of you out there who, way back when I first started this, thought I should have only turned Wufei into a girl. So am I mean or what? Are any of you even still reading this? I know I'm taking forever to get these new chapters out, but there's midterms and projects and homework and sports...I'm swamped. There's only one more chapter left, and then a REALLY short epilogue. Actually, it's already written. It's just this little humorous blip showing once again how mean I can be. ^_^ Please review!!!! Tell me what you think. Love you all! Oh! CHECK OUT MY AUTHOR'S PAGE!!! YOU CAN GET UPDATES AND OTHER NEWS THERE! I JUST RE-DID IT!!!!

*~Maxine~*