Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ You've Got a Friend in Me: The 1x5 Side Story ❯ For Love ( Chapter 1 )

Warnings and such follow, please read them, they're kinda important.

Nikki :-P

Name: For Love (1x5 Side Story)

Series: You've Got A Friend in Me

Archive: My site. Anywhere else is fine! Just tell me where ya are!

Rating: PG-13 in this part (for language and implied yaoi)

Genre: ...uh...Romance? Maybe? Not really in this part though...

Key:

*Thought*

-Character Comments-

~Time~ (Flashbacks and such)

~~~~ Scene Change or Break

Warnings:

Nothing much in this part *but* if you read this part you have to be warned for the *Next Part* kay? If yaoi bugs ya (I mean real yaoi here folks! like lime, almost lemon!) then I would skip this all together.

Now about *This Part* like I said, nothin' much: Curses -English and Japanese- and Implied Yaoi that's 'bout it...

Disclaimers: I don't own 'em. I don't own the show. I don't own the characters. I'm not making money at all! So um...don't sue me. Yeah that would be bad...

For Love

~The 1x5 Side Story from You've Got A Friend in Me~

Part One

~I~ Chapter One ~I~

Heero's POV

He let me drive. He never lets me drive.

I look over to where Wufei is sitting, just staring out the window.

*Why is this bothering me? It's not like we ever talked much anyway.*

More silence. I find myself wanting to say something.

*Why do I think I have to apologize? I didn't do anything.*

"What's wrong?" I ask finally. I still can't make myself sound concerned. In a way I'm not. I just come off sounding exactly how I fell, annoyed.

He doesn't turn from the window. "Nothing," he says.

I take it literally. I know him that much, or so I think. He isn't one to 'beat around the bush' as they say. Everyone knows that with most people 'nothing' usually means something, but it just wasn't him, at least that's what I thought.

~~~~

As soon as we got home he went straight to his room. Odd, isn't it? For lovers to have separate rooms? Lovers. Like we could be called that. Love was never the point. So what is the point? I never really asked. It doesn't matter anyway.

So how did it happen? It might have been lust, Wufei is attractive, there isn't any question, or comfort, which was more likely. He had the same problem as I did, we didn't fit any where besides the battlefield.

But in any case, it did happen. And now...now where do we go? There isn't a point. I don't love him, and I doubt he loves me. Why would he? How could he? No, it would never happen, it's always the same. It can't change. It's been too long...

~Flashback~

I never told anyone about him. That I knew where he was, and that I knew he would betray us.

Or did he? Could fighting for Mariemaia be seen as betrayal?

But I knew. I knew long before he did. Because I know how he feels, never feeling like it's over. Never feeling whole. Orders always taken, missions to complete. Without task, what good are we to the world? We are followers, soldiers, pawns, nothing more. So I knew, I knew that he had to make a decision, and had hoped to change his mind. But how could I? I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing either.

So I met him. I hoped that in persuading him, I would feel better about my own choice. Either that or have him persuade me to his point of view. I needed orders.

I was sitting in a tree, watching him in hiding. He was practicing out in a field, trees surrounding an open meadow. He brought his sword down in long sweeping motions. A dance. I couldn't tear my eyes away; it was beautiful, and deadly.

After few more arcs he stopped and bowed. He straightened and called out: "What do you need?"

I wasn't surprised; I all ready knew he had good instincts. I noted that he still had his weapon ready. I jumped down, landing cat-like on the grass.

He turned to the spot where I landed. "It's you," he said. There was no hint of surprise or relief in his voice.

"I need to talk to you," I said.

Though I stood up, I remained far from him. He still had the blade in his hand.

He noticed my eyes flicking to his sword but didn't drop it. "Fine then, talk, I'm listening."

"I'm unarmed," I said.

"Then it looks as though I have the advantage."

After all this time he still doesn't trust me, that's okay, I don't trust him either.

"You are going to accept," I said.

"They came to you as well?" he asked.

The Barton Foundation, they had come to all of us, I assumed. They wanted the Gundams, and hopefully the pilots.

I nodded, answering his question.

"I would never give Nataku to the wrong hands," He said.

"So you're going. You're going to fight for them?" I asked.

He looked off, a distant look in his eyes. "Nataku was meant for the battle field, I belong there as well."

"That's sad," I said. "It's sad that you have grown so accustom to something you hate, that you can't live without it."

He looked at me sharply. "Is it not the same with you? Do you really wish for this all to end? What will you do then, Yuy?"

I was silent.

He knew exactly what my answer was. I didn't know. I had no idea what I was to do after the war, if I lived through it.

"Exactly," he went on. "I'm doing exactly what I wish, can you say the same?"

"They're wrong and you know it," I said angrily.

He nodded. "Only in the darkness, do you learn to appreciate the light," he said. "I have to know what is wrong, if I want to learn what is right."

I nod.

"Then you understand?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Then will you come with me?" he asked.

I tried to determine what he meant. Did he want me to come with him? Or was he trying to get allies for Mariemaia? It didn't matter. It was too late anyway.

"I don't have Zero."

"What?" he looked shocked, maybe he thought I felt the same for Zero, as what he felt for Nataku.

"It's gone, I sent it to Quatre."

He was staring at me, the grip on his sword tightened.

"They would still accept you," he said quietly.

"I'm not going. They're exactly what we've always been fighting, I can't give up, I can't turn my back on my mission."

I was on the ground in a second. He had me pinned down, his face was inches from mine and furious.

"How dare you," he whispered harshly. "I would never turn my back. I never went with the mission. I was fighting for Nataku and no one else! And I've completed that! I'm fighting for what I believe in, I still need to learn what Justice is. You are fighting for what people tell you to! Don't you get it? You're just a toy for others to play with. I doubt you ever thought without someone ordering you to do it."

I kneed him sharply in the stomach. He doubled over, his grip loosening on my wrists. I flipped him over so that his wrists were pinned behind his back, his face an inch away from the grass.

"You are only fighting for yourself," I said. "Killing hundreds just so you'll feel better. You're just like Treize."

I watched his reactions to my words. I suddenly felt cold. I expected him to get angry, start yelling and trying to get away, I was dead wrong. He looked calm, I wondered if he even heard me.

I was about to ask, when he spoke in a low voice: "Treize Khushrenada was a better man then you or I would ever hope to be."

In my shock, I let my hands loosen. He took the advantage. I was to the ground before I could blink.

"You hated him. You killed him!" I yelled, trying in vain to get him off.

"True, I still hate him. You don't understand, Treize fought for what he believed was the right thing, for what he thought was just, and he died for it, there is no greater honor then that. But you wouldn't know of that. I wouldn't put it past you to kill a woman as she slept." [1]

I jerked to the side, setting him off balance. We were up at the same time, both crouched, ready to attack.

~End Flashback~

~~~~~

I heard his door close upstairs. I was sure now that something was wrong.

I shrug.

*He'll tell me if it's important.*

I sigh and head for the couch.

A moment later I got up and went to my computer.

I played solitaire for a good three seconds.

*What's wrong with him?* I thought, as I turned off the screen. *If there was something wrong he would come out and say it.*

I tapped my foot and stared at the blank screen.

*This isn't like him...*

I got up and walked to the stairs.

~~~~~

~Flashback~

"Why are you here?" Wufei asked, still crouching ready.

"I came to talk you out of going," I said, ready for his attack.

"Did you really believe you could? Or did you just do it to appease your pacifist girlfriend?"

I rushed forward but he was ready for me, he easily flipped me on to my back. Before breath returned to me, he had me on my back, my arms pinned down, the same position I had him in earlier.

"What?" he whispered in my ear. "Are you offended? Did I get it wrong? Maybe it was the other Peacecraft...is that it? Are you just Zechs' little play thing?"

I growled deep in my throat. "No" I said calmly. "Because unlike you, I don't fuck the enemy."

I braced myself ready for the blow. I was surprised when it didn't come. His breath was on my neck again, it made my stomach flip.

*What is he doing to me?!?*

"That's a shame," he whispered, his lips lightly brushing against my ear.

He freed my arms and I could feel his weight lift off of me. I noticed I wasn't breathing and forced myself to start again. I got up. He had already retrieved his sword and was putting on his white overcoat.

"What was that supposed to mean?!" I yell to his back.

He turns and looks at me calmly. "Nothing, it was just a thought. But you just said yourself..."

He trailed off as I stalked toward him.

~End Flashback~

~~~~~

I knocked on Wufei's door for the third time. Still no answer.

*Why is the door locked?*

I wasn't sure if he always locked it. I hadn't been in his room for months, and even then it was probably just to ask him something.

I raised my hand to knock again when it opened. Wufei glared at me silently.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Why would you think anything's wrong?" he asked.

Why did I? Every reason I had come up with on the way here fled my mind.

"You seemed upset," I said simply, I couldn't think of anything else.

"I'm fine," he said and closed the door.

I was torn. Wufei wasn't one to play games. To the point, that was always his way. So why did I have this feeling? Why did something seem wrong?

~~~~~

~That Night~

I flicked off my computer screen and headed upstairs. I was about to pass Wufei's room on the way to mine when I noticed the light coming from the bottom of his door. I frowned and checked my watch: 2:43. That was odd, Wufei should be asleep by now; he wasn't much of a night person.

I tried the door, locked. I shook my head.

*It's fine, you're just getting paranoid.*

With a nod, I dropped my hand from the doorknob and walked to my room.

~II~ Chapter Two ~II~

Wufei's POV

I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, my hands behind my head. A sigh escapes my lips as I look over at my clock.

*It's past three. When was the last time I stayed up this late? Most likely during the war...The war...Heero.*

I had effectively kept him from my mind for ten seconds.

*It's getting worse.*

"Why?" I whisper. "It was fine until..."

*Stop talking! Can't our see it's making it worse? He's making you weak! Next thing you know, you're on the floor crying like a child.*

"No," I say through clenched teeth. "I won't cry."

*Stop thinking about him!* my mind screamed at me.

I tried to oblige...but it was getting worse...

~~~~~

~Flashback~

I collapsed on the grass near him, my energy spent. After I got my body under control, -enough to breath properly- my mind went wild.

*What the hell did you just do?* it asked.

*Oh gods...I just-*

*You just fucked Heero Yuy!*

On the outside I was calm, under control. On the inside I was a mess.

*How could I? That-that was...*

*Dishonorable! You were too weak to fight your own hormones! You shamed yourself again, Chang.*

It took all the strength I had left to push myself off the ground. I retrieved the clothes that had been thrown to the side. I dressed myself quickly, aware that his eyes followed my every movement. Grabbing my katana I walked away.

I left him there, without glancing back once.

~End Flashback~

~~~~~

*So maybe it wasn't exactly 'fine'*

I glance at the clock again. Almost four.

*Where is the time going? Why can't I sleep!?*

I sit up in bed and put my head in my hands.

*It's my only option isn't it? I have to leave.*

I get up and start to pack my things.

~~~~~

~III~ Chapter Three ~III~

~The Next Morning~

Heero's POV

I close my door behind me, running my fingers through my wet hair. I start to walk towards the stairs when something strikes me wrong. I look around, half expecting an OZ soldier to jump out at me. Wufei's door catches my eye; it's closed.

*Why isn't he practicing?*

I knock on his door, nothing. Leaning closer I can faintly hear the water running. A sly smirk crosses my features.

*So what if he missed a day? I can finally catch him in the shower.*

But when I try to open the door I find it locked again...or still.

"Kuso," I curse under my breath.

I hold back the temptation to get some of my old lock picks and head down to get some breakfast.

~~~~~

I ate slowly, waiting for him to come down. I was almost done when he finally did. I waited for him to sit down, but all he did was grab a breakfast bar [2] and walk back to his room.

The only acknowledgment he gave me was a nod when he walked in.

*He could just be in a bad mood, it wouldn't be the first time, it'll pass.*

~~~~~

~IV~ Chapter Four ~IV~

Wufei's POV

I drew a deep breath and said a silent prayer. This was going to be hard.

*But I can't just leave him...not again.*

Another deep breath and I push open the door leading to "our" room.

A small thing, more like a closet. But the memories were almost too much to bear. A comfortable armchair in the corner, where I would sit and read, and a bookshelf, I had all ready taken my books from it, I'm not surprised that he didn't notice.

Then there was "his" corner, a simple desk with his computer sitting on top. Memories of cold nights, reading until I almost fell asleep. He would always notice somehow, and close whatever he had up. He would walk over, that familiar half smile, a gleam in his eyes...those memories alone made me want to give up and stay.

I shook my head.

*Focus.*

I cleared my throat.

His head turns slightly but he goes back to the screen.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked.

I flinch.

*No, he's not concerned; he probably just missed you last night. Stay strong, it's for honor.*

"We need to talk Yuy." I kept my voice completely calm.

He nods and flicks of the screen. His chair swivels, but seeing that I'm still standing he does as well.

"I'm leaving," I said.

*Gods that was hard.*

"Will you be back?" he asked.

*No, there's no concern in his voice. Well, I guess that makes this easer.*

"No," I said.

*I guess not.*

"Why?" his voice was flat.

*It's his eyes. I have to keep eye contact, but it's hard. I will not be the weaker one!*

"Because this is wrong and you know it." I had rehearsed this moment all night as I packed.

"Wrong?" he asked, the faintest of smiles on his lips.

*Damn him! He's amused! He thinks this is a joke?*

"Wrong!" I yell, my rehearsed speech going out the window. "And I can't live like this anymore! You don't love me, so what's the point? All we do is eat, work and..." my voice trails off.

*Sex, Wufei. It's just sex.*

"...All it is, is emotionless sex. Doesn't it bother you? That that's all we've become? A casual fuck to pass the time?"

"It never bothered you before," he said calmly.

*Damn him! .... No...Shit!*

I could feel the tears threaten. My eyes were stinging.

*I will not cry! Not in front of him! Not ever! Just breathe, Chang.*

"I tried to push it away before," I said after I was under control. "I tried to pretend it didn't bother me. But when we went to the party, and I saw how happy everyone was, I noticed just how wrong I felt. This isn't right. I can't keep this up...Heero I-" I stopped.

*When was the last time I called him by his first name? Out loud anyway.*

I hadn't noticed I was looking down.

*Damn.*

I forced myself to look back into his cold blue eyes.

*Nothing, no flicker of emotion at my saying his name, nothing...*

Now it was harder.

"I realized something else," I continued. "I realized why it hurt me so much."

*Stay calm.*

"I've fallen in love with you," I said calmly, keeping all of my emotions in. "I'm leaving because I know you don't feel the same, I've known for a long time."

I couldn't take it anymore. If I stayed any longer, I would take it back. I had all ready packed my car, all that was left was the coat I had draped over my arm.

Trying my best not to slam into the door, I left. He didn't follow me.

To Be Continued...

[1] Don't be mad at the woman thing! It just seemed like somethin' 'fei would say!

[2] You know, the ones that taste like cardboard and glue.