Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Coven of the Rose ❯ Chapter 06 ( Chapter 6 )
[ A - All Readers ]
By: CRose 
Non Anime: Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Comedy | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 08.26.2006 | Pages: 6 | Words: 7.3K | Visits: 2.1K | Status: Completed
Non Anime: Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Comedy | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 08.26.2006 | Pages: 6 | Words: 7.3K | Visits: 2.1K | Status: Completed
DO NOT IN ANY WAY TAKE THIS STORY SERIOUSLY, IT'LL GIVE YOU A HEADACHE AND CAUSE SQUIRRELS TO SPONTIANIOUSLY CUMBUST. THE SQUIRRLES ARE REBELLING…RUN RUN FOR YOUR LIVES…THEY'VE GOT FLAME THROWERS!
AGHAAAAAAAAA!
This is my version of a Harry Potter revenge fic, but after a couple of years in Azkaban he's not quite sane anymore. He has some sanity left, but it doesn't really affect him anymore.
(If you spot any spelling or grammar mistakes, please let me know. I've read through this thing so many times that I just don't see them after the twentieth read through. I know there are a couple in there that I missed. Thanks)
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Coven of the Rose
Chapter 06
By CRose
© 2006
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As a special type of magical snake, Quint could pull off a number of unique magical effects. This made his breed of snake prized by Parsletounge users everywhere. Because the snakes were highly intelligent and able to think for themselves, they rarely stayed with a parsletounge user for very long, they were a peaceful snake after all.
When the call came from Harry Potter asking not for a bond of servitude, as so many had asked for, but a favor instead, Quint was intrigued. Humans used, profited, and discarded everything in their paths. The little snake had been baffled to find that this parsletounge user was different. Instead of an aura of darkness and hatred, what he sensed was more along the lines of amusement and exasperation.
Even after only a few minutes Quint realized that the human hadn't been right in the head, but even then his actions didn't really seem right either. Humans destroyed and crushed everything in there lust for power and greed. The boy played pranks and disrupted the economy to suit his own ends. Humans killed and laughed about it, the boy glued officials to the wall and tickled them until they couldn't take anymore, then went to play a game of Twister with the local champion.
The boy was an enigma. Even stranger was the boy's request. The disillusioned snake slithered around the large tree using its tongue to taste the air and make sure nothing nasty was going to eat him. He was close, very close to his goal, and it would only be a matter of time before he would have the his mission fulfilled. Musky scents filled the air as the snake slowly made its way further into the forest glen towards a large cave dug into the side of a hill. A small amount of smoke wafted out of the entrance. A potential warning to what may lay within.
If the snake could have cackled, it would have.
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"Sir, the girl is here." Scar informed him.
"Thank you, could lead her here?"
"Of course sir." The elf said and popped away.
Harry wasn't sure he was ready to meet Hermione just yet, but he had to do it at some point and now was a good time for him. He was in-between plans at the moment.. He set up her portkey to work when she was alone as well, that way she couldn’t bring anyone along without him knowing about it. The door to the dinning room opened and Scar let Hermione into the room. He was a bit surprised to find that she wasn't wearing wizarding robes.
Instead, she was wearing what a lot of muggle girls were wearing these days. A pair of tight waist hugger jeans that showed off her curves and a cut off t-shirt that gave him a nice view of her bare stomach, overall she didn't look half-bad. She froze in place as she spotted him nibbling on some toast, her jaw hanging wide open.
"Shouldn't that be my reaction. That outfit would cause Ron to faint." Harry said as he waived to a chair. "Pick a chair and sit down. Scar can have something to eat her in a few minutes."
The bushy haired girl flew across the room and tackle hugged him. They ended up on the floor a few feet away with Hermione hugging him for all she was worth. "I missed you!"
"Air! I need Air!" Harry gasped.
She squeaked and let him go, glaring at him. "HARRY POTTER!"
"I missed you too." Harry said as he rose to his feet.
"Why haven't you contacted any of us?"
"And be put back in Azkaban? Hell no, that isn’t going to happen." He snapped. "I've got plans in motion that can't be pulled off from that island. I have to be free."
Rising to her feet, she made her way back to the table and sat down next to him. "Well, you've certainly been making a name for yourself. Fred and George are having a ball."
"I haven't even talked to them." Harry admitted. "It's been too dangerous. I almost didn’t invite you here, but I needed someone to talk to, I've been talking to myself way to much."
Hermione nodded. "Well maybe we can get some of the others here too."
"Not Dumbledore or Snape, I'm way too angry with either of them right now to think straight."
"I've been wondering why you haven't done anything to either of them. All these pranks though…"
"I'm a second generation Marauder Hermione, what else am I doing to do? Kill people? That would only make what Ron wants to believe true."
She looked away.
Two elves appeared. One sat a small meal out before them and vanished. The other one though stood out in his little green robe. He bowed to Harry, who sighed, and a held up a small ball."
"What's that?"
"Part of my army. The little one here just finished his team's mission for me." Harry explained. "You can take the next couple days off. Excellent work."
"Thank you sir." The elf said and popped away.
"W-What did he do?"
"I have several teams working around the clock. The little one just finished setting up tomorrow's prank in Knockturn Alley."
She gasped. "What are you going to do?"
"What the Ministry should have done long ago." Harry said and chuckled a little.
"What's that?"
"Why allow graduated muggle born wizards and witches to shop of course. Part of my plan is to force some much needed common sense down the throat of everyone that thinks they can take away all my rights just because I'm not in school anymore."
"Harry, you can't do that."
"I'm an escaped criminal Hermione, of course I can, they took away all the rules and rights I was willing to fight for when they arrested me. When Dumbledore left me to rot in prison. It's amazing the kinds of people you find in that prison Hermione. What they put in the history books doesn’t even come close to telling the truth."
"What do you mean?"
Harry took a minute to eat a little of his dinner. "Well, while some of the prisoners there are criminals, did you also know that about a third of them never committed a crime?"
"Harry, they are sentenced to prison by the Wizengamot. The law is very specific about that."
"You would think it worked that way, that's what the books say after all." Harry said. "But the ones I'm talking about are sent there, and forgotten about. Like Fudge's last two opponents, both were framed on flimsy evidence and sent to Azkaban to await trail, they've been there over thirty years now. Forgotten by the public, who were told they went away in shame after losing."
Hermione was gaping.
"Or how Dumbledore tossed several people in there for not doing what he told them to do. The list goes on and on Hermione. While some of them may have been telling me lies, I don't think that many of them could do it."
"So all these…pranks are payback?"
Harry laughed. "Nope, it's FUN! Look how confused people are. It's great. The Wizarding world doesn't know what to think. They're so complacent that they've learned how to deal with dark lords that kill, corrupt politicians, and anything else that is 'normal' for them. Do something they don’t' expect though and they fall to pieces."
"People are saying you're insane."
Harry shrugged. "Who says I'm not? After two years in Azkaban with a Demontor camped outside the cell door you don't survive without losing a little of your mind."
"But…"
"You see, I know I'm a little loopy, but I'm not quite as bad as everyone thinks. You see, I'm supposed to save the whole world form Voldemort. Right now, I couldn't care any less about the little blow hard and merry band of back seat drivers. I've even been reducing the Dark Log's ranks a little over the last week."
It was time for Hermione to be surprised again.
"I've been relocating them from around the city. It's really easy to locate a death eater too, they all have that little tattoo on their arm."
"That Dark Mark is resistant to tracking spells Harry."
Harry nodded. "Yep, but the magic that produces the Dark Mark is simple to track. Voldemort made the shape impossible to track, but not the spells that incorporate it."
Hermione was gaping again. Harry was starting to wonder if he should do something to her again. She didn't seem to be paying attention. She started sputtering.
"The wizarding world is far to complacent Hermione. They expect everything handed to them without putting any effort into it. Fudge can just point at someone and have them thrown in prison. Dumbledore has been using Hogwarts to mold the minds of children so that when they become adults they will all look up to him."
"Harry, you can't believe that." Hermione said.
"Hah! Of course I believe it. Didn't you ever look into how Hogwarts was run a few hundred years ago? What the main classes were?"
"What do you mean?"
"It's been very subtle, a very long term plan, but wizards a hundred years ago could over power any wizard around today. The average wizard back then was almost fifteen times stronger than anyone around today. Dumbledore canceled core classes that on the surface helped round out magic use and power. Take physical fitness for example, something nearly all wizards shun, yet our strongest wizards today are Aurors. Even Dumbledore keeps fit, Voldemort can last for hours dueling against average weak wizards."
"But Harry…"
"He's been manipulating things around him all his life Hermione. Look how he does nothing for muggle born students. They graduate and find that they can't get jobs and doors that were open last year are closed to them now that they've entered the work force."
Hermione nodded.
"When you're a student they want your money, but after you graduate, they don’t need your business anymore. And look there, coming around the corner, a whole new year of muggle born children to take money from." Harry said sarcastically.
"You aren't just getting revenge are you?"
"Hell no." Harry said with an evil grin. "That's where you come in. It's time to lead a revolution against these out of shape pigeons. I need a partner that can help me construct faster and more elaborate attacks. Even better, I'll even hire you to do it. What do you say?"
"Where are you going to get the money for that? You don’t exactly have access to your vault or have a job."
"Steal it of course. It's amazing what you can find when you know where Voldemort gets his money from." Harry explained. "I've got a little friend looking into it for me as we speak."
"You're going to pinch V-Voldemort's money?" Hermione asked in a horrified and awed whisper.
Harry started cackling. "I'm going to drain him dry and toss the carcass out on the lawn for the worms to play with." He held up a galleon. "Maybe I should put my picture on them just to let people know it's mine?"
What can a genius say to that?
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Got money to hide? Give it to goblins to guard, for a fee of course. Don't want to involve greedy little monsters that would sleep with gold if were given even a third of a chance? Just do as they do, dig a hole, cast some spells in a weird language, get a couple of dragons, and there you go. One well guarded vault full of money.
Quint slithered down the edge of the wall and peaked around the corner at the end. A large dragon was about five inches away glaring at him with smoke wafting from his mouth. Giving the large dragon a respectful nod, the little snake flapped its wings a little and rose into the air to land on the dragon's snout. "Hello." I hissed.
"Leave this place before I eat you in a single gulp brave little idiot snake. You do not belong…" The dragon trailed off and froze in place.
"As big as a human house and just about as intelligent." Quint grumbled as it finished hypnotizing the large beast with a wave of its tail.
It turned around and stomped its way down the hidden path, expertly avoiding several traps that even Quint would've missed from ground level. Why isn't that a nice and cozy acid pit, or what looks suspiciously like a large blender. And Quint wasn't even going to think about the large round bolder wedged up against the ceiling on a little ramp. A couple of minutes later they entered into a large underground cave. There was no sign of the other dragon, but Quint could smell him.
Sitting in the middle of the cave, surrounded by wards that would kill anything that they touched, was what looked like a small hut made out of stones. Quint's magic, with a bit of Harry mixed in for flavor, allowed him to see that the little hut was far more than expected. He ordered the dragon to go and inspect the vault and it lumbered forward, using a password to get around the wards.
Slithering off the great beast's nose, he dropped to the floor and made his way across some sand. He wasn't heavy enough to set off any traps here. Using the dragon had allowed him to avoid all the big deadly traps. Falling rocks, delayed blast death curses, and a whole host of other things. Moving up to the door, he took several minutes to figure out how the spells overlaid the stonework and focused. As his tail started to glow, he tapped the door with his tail and gave a little shove.
Quint cackled as the spells started to collapse. His breed wasn't know as the Parselesque Viper for nothing. They had knack for pulling off the impossible.
"It's time Master." Quint hissed and felt a surge of magic fill his little body.
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"Harry, how are you going to do this?"
"Well while I was rotting in prison, going mad of course, the Dark Log of the East continued to send me visions through my scar. He showed me memories of his past, various meetings, and lots of other things. One of the random things I picked up was how he got his money. He can be frightfully intelligent at times, even I have to admit that."
"How? I've always wondered."
"As with everything it comes down to his followers. He had all of them put a small gem on a pedestal in their vaults at Gringotts. This gem transfers, under the goblin's noses, a certain percentage of the gold that flows into each of the vaults. All these galleons then appear in his hidden vault deep in one of the magical forests."
"It would have to be impossible to even get close to."
Harry nodded, but grinned even wider. "For a human yes, completely impossible, even with the key to the wards. He's pulled off a magnificent bit of magic there. So I sent a friend instead."
"A house elf?"
"Nope, he accounted for them too. They die the instant they appear according to his memories."
"Then how?"
"I summoned a Parselesque Viper."
"A…what?"
"Ah, Hermione, I thought you of all people would understand." Harry looked gleeful as he tried to sound saddened by her ignorance.
"HARRY POTTER! DON'T…" She coughed. "…you start that with me. I can't know everything."
Instead of answering he took a few minutes to finish his dinner and watched Hermione squirm. He couldn't help grinning some more. "A Parselesque Viper is the ultimate magical familiar for a parsletounge speaker. By summoning one I gave him a sliver of my magic, or a chunk in this case, and all the knowledge the little beast could handle. Right now it could defeat anybody given a few minutes to plan. It's intelligent and we even speak the same tongue."
A quiet rumbling started to shake the house and Harry's eyes gleamed a little more in the sunlight. It was time. He channeled a powerful surge of magic through his bond to the Viper. He loved it when a plan came together. Now why was he craving jello all of a sudden?
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The snake's tale rose up and the tip began to glow brightly. Making a waving motion, it sent a beam of magic at the dragon as it started to wake up from its trance. The beam of magic quickly reduced it down into a mouse. It squeaked and rook off running for the exit. There was still no sign of the other dragon though.
Laughing, Quint waved his tail at the stone box and sent a blasting curse crashing into it. The whole side just crumbled to powder. Its Master's power was truly a thing to behold and Quint was still amazed that the boy wasn't completely evil. Moving forward, Quint was sure that certain alarms were going off now the vault was open.
Once inside even it had to gaze in awe at all the gold. Closing its eyes, the snake began to glow as it built up a powerful spell. Then, pointing with the tail, a beam of magic fired out and hit the front wall of gold. Flying up, it landed on top and looked proud as the magic washed over the entire chamber and the gold started to vanish in large chunks.
Within ten minutes the entire chamber was emptied of gold. The snake appeared in a large room as the gold poured in from dozens of openings in the ceiling. House Elves swarmed around the chamber to see what was going on, making sure all the gold went to the right areas. Harry didn't want anyone crushed by all that gold after all.
After a quick breather, Quint took the air and vanished in a burst of fire. An elf collected a couple of fallen feathers and placed them in Harry's study with the other two collected earlier. The snake appeared above Harry and landed on his head. It looked incredibly proud of itself, almost smirking.
"Hello Quint." Harry said, setting the snake on the table.
"Master Harry, I have completed my task."
Ignoring Hermione for the moment, Harry conjured a fat mouse and gave it to the snake. It was more than happy to eat right there.
"What's he saying?"
"Contented sighing. It's the first meal he's had in a few days." Harry explained as he rubbed the snakes head.
"Want to see what he brought back?"
"Lots of gold I assume?"
"Yeah, but its lots of gold. One has to look at all that gold to appreciate it." Harry said as he got up and adjusted his green robe. "It's almost time for me to make an appearance too. I can't let the old men get complacent."
Hermione sighed and nodded. She still wasn't sure what to think about all this, but Harry did have some kind of plan in motion after all. "Lead the way. This should be interesting at least."
"I should hope so."
Just as they were about to arrive at the room, Harry stopped and snapped his fingers. A House Elf was there instantly. Harry reached into his pocket and handed the small ball to the elf. "Please take this to that house where we found the muggle family and make sure it goes off at the right time. Someone should be there any time now."
"Of course Master." It said and vanished.
"A little snapper."
Hermione looked confused again.
"You need to read more Batman comics."
Now she looked irritated.
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His name was William Skerretglom, a thirtieth generation pure blood. He stood in front of the little house where his Master was having several muggles prepared for a Revel. The Master hadn't held a Revel since he returned to full power, but now he felt it was time to start getting things back into full swing again. Will could recall almost twenty years before when The Master terrorized the world and it brought back good memories.
Torturing muggles until they wet themselves, making them crawl around the house like dogs, raping the teenage girls and boys. Those were the days. Unfortunately the death eaters guarding the muggle family hadn't brought them by last night. Will could still feel the pain from all the curses he endured.
He moved down the walk and onto the porch. All the curtains were closed and he couldn't hear anything going on inside the house. That meant that the Repelling Charms and Silencing Wards were up in full force. A wave of his wand confirmed those and several others as well. He didn't recognize a couple of them though.
At the same time he also detected a couple of odd spells on the door and walls of the house. Spells that The Master didn't use normally. Tapping the door with his wand, he said the password, and watched it open with a quiet click.
"At least that's normal." He muttered to himself.
Of course that’s when the giant tongue reached out of the doorway, wrapped around him, and yanked him in. William didn't have time to scream as the tongue swung through the house, passed a sheep stuck by it's horns to the wall, only to be thrown down into the basement. He vaguely heard a loud belch that made the house rumble and door closing.
"What the hell is going on here?" Will snarled as sailed through the air and landed in some water in the basement. It was about three feet deep and rather stagnant. Soaking wet, he stood up and tried to shake some of the water out of his two hundred galleon robes with gold trim and anti staining charms woven into each thread.
He spun to the side a he spotted some movement from the corner of his eye. All he could see were little ripples in the stagnant water. Standing out of the water were four dead potion stands. Whatever was in them seemed to have solidified as well. The smell was bad enough that he decided that going back upstairs would be a good idea.
Turning around, he faced the stairs and stopped dead in his tracks. A head surfaced nest to his let and looked up at him. It wasn't a human head. It was a Hippopotamus head that opened its mouth and he screamed. Sitting in the back of the thing's throat was Nina's head!
"Will, help me?!" She screamed.
The Hippo head closed and the thing dove beneath the water.
"What the hell is going on here?" He babbled, backing towards the stairs.
He felt the thing brush by his ankle and gave a little squeak. Scrambling for the stairs, he heard a splash, then a roar, and IT HAD HIM BY THE FOOT!
"NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Will screamed as he was pulled backwards. The Hippo moved forward, straddling him, opened its mouth wide so he could see whatshername's face again, and leaned forward.
"Will, help me!" She begged again as the Hippo mouth encircled his head and bit down with a snap. His body glowed suddenly and turned into a little blue and pink Ermine. Will the Ermine, fell over with a faint, landing in the water with a small splash.
The woman/Hippo heard a noise and turned around to see another of those Green Robed House Elves standing on the counter. Its glowing green eyes stood out from under the hood as it watched them. She could tell it was smirking. It reached into the pouch all of them carried with them and pulled out a large green sphere filled with some kind of dark substance.
She heard more voices upstairs, but didn't know what to think as the sphere flew across the room and landed on the stairs and shattered. The elf vanished with a little pop just as the dark substance started to grow and writhe…
Meanwhile, upstairs, Kingsley and Mad 'Eye' Moody along with about five junior Aurors were responding to a tip. The first clue that any of them had that something was the sheep hanging on the wall, still struggling to get tree. Kingsley and Mad Eye paled as they realized that this might be a Potter attack.
"We better be careful people, this might be Potter's handy work.
Suddenly hundreds of leafy green tentacles shot out of the basement and wrapped the Aurors up completely, lifted them into the air, and started playing toss. At first they were too shocked to respond much, but then Kingsley suddenly found himself being flung right under a miniature Hippo.
"RUN, RUN FOR YOUR SANITY!" The dark skinned man screamed. He managed to land on the floor, roll to his feet, and started hopping for the front door. Some of his men tried and failed completely.
"BHAAAA!" The sheep yelled.
From the outside the house seemed to smirk as it shuddered once and rose up on a pair of chicken legs, looked around, and raced down the street. Inside the house everything started falling over and flying around. The tentacles started throwing around everything.
"AGHAAAAAAAAAA!" Ten Aurors, a Hippo, Sheep, and barely conscious Ermine screamed in fear. The House continued running late into the night. It only took time to stop at Number Four Privet Drive and take a leak on the roof. Once that was gone, all that water from the basement, it raced off across the country.
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At the same time, every alarm in the Ministry that detected magic in muggle areas started to go off. Up in his office, Fudge the Skunk downed another calming potion. He was haggard, worn out, and down right pooped. Ever since Potter's visit, the ministry had been falling apart one piece at a time. They still hadn't managed to undo whatever he did to the fountain and now the thing had developed a shark invasion. No one wanted to get near the thing now.
Now the little memo airplanes had started dive bombing people and seemed to be attracted to both Lucious and Umbridge for some reason. He hadn't seen either one of them for days. Not after they were chased after the building covered in paper cuts. Now the alarms were going off and he just knew that Potter was behind it.
His temporary secretary poked her head into the office. "Sir?"
He ignored the clothes pin on her nose. Magic didn't seem to lesson the smell wafting off his skunk man body at all and everyone was avoiding him. "Send a team to take care of it."
She nodded, having already done that the instant the alarm went off.
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Hermione could only stare up at the large wall. Lights and colors were flashing across her face that her features couldn’t be seen. Shock didn't cover this little revelation. Harry had set up the master bedroom as a kind of monitor room. Instead of using televisions or computers, he'd used scrying mirrors of every shape and size.
Every mirror held a different joke that was taking place at that instant. It was currently snowing inside the headmaster's office. Bill Weasley couldn't figure out why that goblin over there had taken such an interest in the back of his pants. Snape had developed a Doxy invasion in his potions lab. The minister was turning into a skunk.
There was a house on chicken legs doing a cross country dash with it's tongue lolling out. She could just make out people and plants through the windows. Harry stood beside her and grinned. "I didn't even come up with half of these, the elves do it themselves. Though I take credit for the house. I heard about it once when I was a kid."
Hermione could only gape as Ollivander's wands started pairing off and drumming themselves on anything solid. This included Olivander himself, who was soon cowering under his counter. Then Hermione gasped and punched Harry in the arm. "I can't believe you did that!"
"What did I do?"
She pointed at a mirror off in the corner. Turning to the side he took a minute to look it over and started laughing. Lockhart's singing Valentines Day dwarves had invaded Durmstrang and Beauxbatons. They could only watch in horror as rather wide dwarves wearing pink leotards and fairy wings, smoking cigars, and bad attitudes started slapping students around to get them to declare their love.
Harry blinked. "That's a great idea, but it ain't mine."
"Who else could have done it!?"
Suddenly Dobby is looking up at them and giggling like a schoolgirl. "Dobby did it."
Harry grins. "Excellent work! Spread the chaos!"
"I can't believe you would let him do that!" Hermione yells.
He shrugs. "That house idea wasn't working anyway, I needed something better and those dwarves will do the job."
Hermione could only palm her face and sigh in defeat.
"Now let's go count my mountain of gold and see just how much Quint brought us." Harry said. "Though the sight of a school full of French girls cooing over those dwarves is rather enticing…" He leered.
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Knockturn Alley, never has there been a hive of such filth and scum that deserved what was about to happen to it. Those residents who understood the ebb and flow of people that moved through the alley were the first to notice that something wasn't quite right, but they couldn't figure out what it was. The knowledge was more instinctive than something that could be seen.
Evil isn't known for being observant. So when over a hundred House Elves in green robes appear in random spots through out the alley, no one really notices. House Elves are furniture after all, something to be ignored until its needed. This was something the majority of Knockturn Alley was very good at. Werewolves, Vampires, and Pure Blood monsters stalked the streets. House Elves knew all of this as they started to sprinkle glittery dust on the buildings.
Harry was quite proud of this invention. From his point of view, the magical world rarely created anything new anymore, so his quest for revenge was proving to be quite easy. The dust looked harmless enough and might even be something for muggle girls to play with. Of course he'd been forced to decrees the effect a bit after a couple of tests.
Of course, it only took about twenty elves to spread the dust. The others had various jobs to perform that took most of the night. As with every building encountered so far, Harry just couldn’t leave them alone. These morons were just way to complacent. They needed lots of wake up calls to get them off their asses. Hell, after everything he'd done so far all the Ministry had done was put a price on his head and assign several Aurors to his case.
They were all brainless twits. Harry had even been looking out in case the Department of Mysteries decided to send some people after him. So far they'd been quiet though. As long as they stayed that way he would leave them alone. If they had anyone in Knockturn Alley, they would have started to see strange sights staring a couple of hours after midnight.
Werewolves started acting like, well dogs, jumping around, chasing balls and cats, peeing on walls, and driving shopkeepers mad. At the same time, Vampires started to develop what could only be described as 'fang ache' and a craving for strawberry jam. Groans and howls filled the area of evil by three in the morning and the prostitutes, what few of them were around, were hiding under their beds. They knew the signs.
As tempers shortened fights started up and spilled out into the Alley itself from several bars. By four in the morning a full blown riot was taking place. Shops were closing down, doors locked, and shops hidden from sight as the Werewolves and Vampires fought. No one really noticed in the confusion, but there were no killings, though not from lack of trying.
Aurors swarmed into the alley at half past five in the morning. By this time most of the combatants were down and the fighting had stopped. As with so many things, riots like this did happen from time to time on their own, but this time we know different. As the last Auror entered Knockturn Alley everyone skidded to a halt as loud popping noises filled the alley and everyone looked towards the roofs.
A hundred green robed House Elves, with glowing green eyes and mouths, stared down at the rioters. Someone screamed "Potter!" and the chaos turned to panic as the whole of Knockturn Alley lit up in a giant green glow that quickly spread through out the entire alley, covering everything, including the people. The Elves dodged spells fired at them by the Aurors and others.
The Vampires raided a nearby store and emptied it of jam and toothache medicine. The Werewolves suddenly developed severe case of fleas and were quickly taken down. Smoke started to pour off the buildings, out windows, and fill the streets.
With Elves popping all over the place, the Aurors didn't see Harry Potter appear at the mouth of the alley. He walked towards the nearest store and calmly blasted a hole in the wall. He ignored the Aurors in the background as they started laughing insanely. That's what the dust did when it turned into smoke. Just a simple modification to a laughing potion, anyone could do it. The Book of Knowledge or BK said so in easy to follow instructions.
Behind him a two story mutant iguana started stomping its way through the alley, much to those residents that hadn't succumbed to the gas yet. Harry looked around and saw that he was in a shop that had an entrance facing into both alleys. One in Knockturn and another facing into Diagon Alley for better business.
He grinned as he spotted half a dozen people cowering under tables, some of the started to whimper as he eyed them. "This is what I mean, look at them, just a little bit of anything out of the ordinary and they just fall to pieces." He apparently said to himself.
A man screamed, jumped up, and leveled his wand. "Avad…" The man's voice turned into a high pitched squeak as his body seemed to shrink in on itself until the only word that came out of it's mouth was "Quack!"
"Yes I had to turn him into a Goose."
"Because it has more intelligence that these losers. Who knows, he might even find a mate and not contaminate the gene pool." Harry said with a nod. The Goose fainted.
The owner peaked out from the side of the bar. "Potter, we don't want any trouble..."
Harry cocked his head to the side. "Isn't that cute, the sniveling worm has a backbone, and yet he caters to murders and psychopaths." He looked to the air beside him. "I don't care, it's not like I'm going to kill any of them. How can learn a lesson when their dead?"
Spinning on his heal, Harry's staff appeared in his hand and he twirled it over his head with one hand as he cast a spell. It took ten minutes for people to come out of hiding. Which triggered the spell. With a burst of white and green light, something fell from the ceiling, landing with a splat. Everyone could only stare at the three foot long mutant slug.
"GWARAAAA!" It said cutely, opened it's mouth, and gob of grayish white mucus flew out and pinned a victim to the wall. The screaming began from there.
Out in the alley again Harry surveyed the several hundred people unable to stop laughing and grinned. As he walked, occasionally stepping over a cackling werewolf or Auror, he took a few seconds to blast away illusions and doors to businesses. His elves made sure that no one got close as they tossed around WWW products at those unaffected by the gas.
"No I don't think I'm going to far. These idiots have gotten away with this crap for far to long. It's time to make them feel a little of what they dish out to others." Harry said as he heard a window shattering. He looked up to see a half dozen bludgers heading his way. As they flew at him, intent on causing damage, they exploded in mid air.
With a wave of his hand, Harry's own floating devices appeared out of nowhere and started strafing the alley. Every now and then they would find someone marked with a Dark Mark, hit them with a fired spell, and teleport them to Harry's holding cells. With another wave the laughing werewolves were instantly transfigured into dog form. He took a second, before transforming one of them, to step on his chest.
The uncontrollable laughing did nothing to hid the sudden fear in the man's eyes as Harry grinned, then frowned and looked to the side. "Where did you get the idea that I'm going to kill people? Really? Have I ever killed anyone? No, yet you insist on telling me not to kill these peons." Harry snorted. "Me and you are going to have to discuss your trust issues 'moine."
As Harry stepped off the man he suddenly transformed into a Snuffaluffaguss. "No I'm not going to explain where I come up with this stuff. I'm insane, the insane don't explain things. They just do things and get called eccentric."
"What do you mean 'where are all the books?' I'm taking them of course."
Harry shrugged. "They're probably stolen anyway, who cares, anyway, think I've got everything I need."
He glanced down at the laughing Auror under his foot and wondered what else he should do. With a shrug, he vanished in sparkly wave of light and a high pitched humming sound that sci-fi geeks around the world would instantly recognize. And the Auror, well, he appears to have turned into a rather large squirrel. The giant Iguana pokes its head up from behind a building, a bag of trash hanging from its mouth and snuffs, looking down at the squirrel.
It runs for its life.
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To be Continued…
Notes: This chapter just didn't want to flow right. I had to cut and rewrite that scene in the basement at least three times and the thing just didn't work. What I have is disappointing and not as good as I'd hoped, but eventually I was forced to move on. At least I was able to bring an Ermine into the story. If you know the Manga Negima, you know why Will became an Ermine.
Nod.
Harry's reign of terror continues…and what the hell is it with squirrels in this story…even I don’t' know
AGHAAAAAAAAA!
This is my version of a Harry Potter revenge fic, but after a couple of years in Azkaban he's not quite sane anymore. He has some sanity left, but it doesn't really affect him anymore.
(If you spot any spelling or grammar mistakes, please let me know. I've read through this thing so many times that I just don't see them after the twentieth read through. I know there are a couple in there that I missed. Thanks)
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Coven of the Rose
Chapter 06
By CRose
© 2006
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As a special type of magical snake, Quint could pull off a number of unique magical effects. This made his breed of snake prized by Parsletounge users everywhere. Because the snakes were highly intelligent and able to think for themselves, they rarely stayed with a parsletounge user for very long, they were a peaceful snake after all.
When the call came from Harry Potter asking not for a bond of servitude, as so many had asked for, but a favor instead, Quint was intrigued. Humans used, profited, and discarded everything in their paths. The little snake had been baffled to find that this parsletounge user was different. Instead of an aura of darkness and hatred, what he sensed was more along the lines of amusement and exasperation.
Even after only a few minutes Quint realized that the human hadn't been right in the head, but even then his actions didn't really seem right either. Humans destroyed and crushed everything in there lust for power and greed. The boy played pranks and disrupted the economy to suit his own ends. Humans killed and laughed about it, the boy glued officials to the wall and tickled them until they couldn't take anymore, then went to play a game of Twister with the local champion.
The boy was an enigma. Even stranger was the boy's request. The disillusioned snake slithered around the large tree using its tongue to taste the air and make sure nothing nasty was going to eat him. He was close, very close to his goal, and it would only be a matter of time before he would have the his mission fulfilled. Musky scents filled the air as the snake slowly made its way further into the forest glen towards a large cave dug into the side of a hill. A small amount of smoke wafted out of the entrance. A potential warning to what may lay within.
If the snake could have cackled, it would have.
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"Sir, the girl is here." Scar informed him.
"Thank you, could lead her here?"
"Of course sir." The elf said and popped away.
Harry wasn't sure he was ready to meet Hermione just yet, but he had to do it at some point and now was a good time for him. He was in-between plans at the moment.. He set up her portkey to work when she was alone as well, that way she couldn’t bring anyone along without him knowing about it. The door to the dinning room opened and Scar let Hermione into the room. He was a bit surprised to find that she wasn't wearing wizarding robes.
Instead, she was wearing what a lot of muggle girls were wearing these days. A pair of tight waist hugger jeans that showed off her curves and a cut off t-shirt that gave him a nice view of her bare stomach, overall she didn't look half-bad. She froze in place as she spotted him nibbling on some toast, her jaw hanging wide open.
"Shouldn't that be my reaction. That outfit would cause Ron to faint." Harry said as he waived to a chair. "Pick a chair and sit down. Scar can have something to eat her in a few minutes."
The bushy haired girl flew across the room and tackle hugged him. They ended up on the floor a few feet away with Hermione hugging him for all she was worth. "I missed you!"
"Air! I need Air!" Harry gasped.
She squeaked and let him go, glaring at him. "HARRY POTTER!"
"I missed you too." Harry said as he rose to his feet.
"Why haven't you contacted any of us?"
"And be put back in Azkaban? Hell no, that isn’t going to happen." He snapped. "I've got plans in motion that can't be pulled off from that island. I have to be free."
Rising to her feet, she made her way back to the table and sat down next to him. "Well, you've certainly been making a name for yourself. Fred and George are having a ball."
"I haven't even talked to them." Harry admitted. "It's been too dangerous. I almost didn’t invite you here, but I needed someone to talk to, I've been talking to myself way to much."
Hermione nodded. "Well maybe we can get some of the others here too."
"Not Dumbledore or Snape, I'm way too angry with either of them right now to think straight."
"I've been wondering why you haven't done anything to either of them. All these pranks though…"
"I'm a second generation Marauder Hermione, what else am I doing to do? Kill people? That would only make what Ron wants to believe true."
She looked away.
Two elves appeared. One sat a small meal out before them and vanished. The other one though stood out in his little green robe. He bowed to Harry, who sighed, and a held up a small ball."
"What's that?"
"Part of my army. The little one here just finished his team's mission for me." Harry explained. "You can take the next couple days off. Excellent work."
"Thank you sir." The elf said and popped away.
"W-What did he do?"
"I have several teams working around the clock. The little one just finished setting up tomorrow's prank in Knockturn Alley."
She gasped. "What are you going to do?"
"What the Ministry should have done long ago." Harry said and chuckled a little.
"What's that?"
"Why allow graduated muggle born wizards and witches to shop of course. Part of my plan is to force some much needed common sense down the throat of everyone that thinks they can take away all my rights just because I'm not in school anymore."
"Harry, you can't do that."
"I'm an escaped criminal Hermione, of course I can, they took away all the rules and rights I was willing to fight for when they arrested me. When Dumbledore left me to rot in prison. It's amazing the kinds of people you find in that prison Hermione. What they put in the history books doesn’t even come close to telling the truth."
"What do you mean?"
Harry took a minute to eat a little of his dinner. "Well, while some of the prisoners there are criminals, did you also know that about a third of them never committed a crime?"
"Harry, they are sentenced to prison by the Wizengamot. The law is very specific about that."
"You would think it worked that way, that's what the books say after all." Harry said. "But the ones I'm talking about are sent there, and forgotten about. Like Fudge's last two opponents, both were framed on flimsy evidence and sent to Azkaban to await trail, they've been there over thirty years now. Forgotten by the public, who were told they went away in shame after losing."
Hermione was gaping.
"Or how Dumbledore tossed several people in there for not doing what he told them to do. The list goes on and on Hermione. While some of them may have been telling me lies, I don't think that many of them could do it."
"So all these…pranks are payback?"
Harry laughed. "Nope, it's FUN! Look how confused people are. It's great. The Wizarding world doesn't know what to think. They're so complacent that they've learned how to deal with dark lords that kill, corrupt politicians, and anything else that is 'normal' for them. Do something they don’t' expect though and they fall to pieces."
"People are saying you're insane."
Harry shrugged. "Who says I'm not? After two years in Azkaban with a Demontor camped outside the cell door you don't survive without losing a little of your mind."
"But…"
"You see, I know I'm a little loopy, but I'm not quite as bad as everyone thinks. You see, I'm supposed to save the whole world form Voldemort. Right now, I couldn't care any less about the little blow hard and merry band of back seat drivers. I've even been reducing the Dark Log's ranks a little over the last week."
It was time for Hermione to be surprised again.
"I've been relocating them from around the city. It's really easy to locate a death eater too, they all have that little tattoo on their arm."
"That Dark Mark is resistant to tracking spells Harry."
Harry nodded. "Yep, but the magic that produces the Dark Mark is simple to track. Voldemort made the shape impossible to track, but not the spells that incorporate it."
Hermione was gaping again. Harry was starting to wonder if he should do something to her again. She didn't seem to be paying attention. She started sputtering.
"The wizarding world is far to complacent Hermione. They expect everything handed to them without putting any effort into it. Fudge can just point at someone and have them thrown in prison. Dumbledore has been using Hogwarts to mold the minds of children so that when they become adults they will all look up to him."
"Harry, you can't believe that." Hermione said.
"Hah! Of course I believe it. Didn't you ever look into how Hogwarts was run a few hundred years ago? What the main classes were?"
"What do you mean?"
"It's been very subtle, a very long term plan, but wizards a hundred years ago could over power any wizard around today. The average wizard back then was almost fifteen times stronger than anyone around today. Dumbledore canceled core classes that on the surface helped round out magic use and power. Take physical fitness for example, something nearly all wizards shun, yet our strongest wizards today are Aurors. Even Dumbledore keeps fit, Voldemort can last for hours dueling against average weak wizards."
"But Harry…"
"He's been manipulating things around him all his life Hermione. Look how he does nothing for muggle born students. They graduate and find that they can't get jobs and doors that were open last year are closed to them now that they've entered the work force."
Hermione nodded.
"When you're a student they want your money, but after you graduate, they don’t need your business anymore. And look there, coming around the corner, a whole new year of muggle born children to take money from." Harry said sarcastically.
"You aren't just getting revenge are you?"
"Hell no." Harry said with an evil grin. "That's where you come in. It's time to lead a revolution against these out of shape pigeons. I need a partner that can help me construct faster and more elaborate attacks. Even better, I'll even hire you to do it. What do you say?"
"Where are you going to get the money for that? You don’t exactly have access to your vault or have a job."
"Steal it of course. It's amazing what you can find when you know where Voldemort gets his money from." Harry explained. "I've got a little friend looking into it for me as we speak."
"You're going to pinch V-Voldemort's money?" Hermione asked in a horrified and awed whisper.
Harry started cackling. "I'm going to drain him dry and toss the carcass out on the lawn for the worms to play with." He held up a galleon. "Maybe I should put my picture on them just to let people know it's mine?"
What can a genius say to that?
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Got money to hide? Give it to goblins to guard, for a fee of course. Don't want to involve greedy little monsters that would sleep with gold if were given even a third of a chance? Just do as they do, dig a hole, cast some spells in a weird language, get a couple of dragons, and there you go. One well guarded vault full of money.
Quint slithered down the edge of the wall and peaked around the corner at the end. A large dragon was about five inches away glaring at him with smoke wafting from his mouth. Giving the large dragon a respectful nod, the little snake flapped its wings a little and rose into the air to land on the dragon's snout. "Hello." I hissed.
"Leave this place before I eat you in a single gulp brave little idiot snake. You do not belong…" The dragon trailed off and froze in place.
"As big as a human house and just about as intelligent." Quint grumbled as it finished hypnotizing the large beast with a wave of its tail.
It turned around and stomped its way down the hidden path, expertly avoiding several traps that even Quint would've missed from ground level. Why isn't that a nice and cozy acid pit, or what looks suspiciously like a large blender. And Quint wasn't even going to think about the large round bolder wedged up against the ceiling on a little ramp. A couple of minutes later they entered into a large underground cave. There was no sign of the other dragon, but Quint could smell him.
Sitting in the middle of the cave, surrounded by wards that would kill anything that they touched, was what looked like a small hut made out of stones. Quint's magic, with a bit of Harry mixed in for flavor, allowed him to see that the little hut was far more than expected. He ordered the dragon to go and inspect the vault and it lumbered forward, using a password to get around the wards.
Slithering off the great beast's nose, he dropped to the floor and made his way across some sand. He wasn't heavy enough to set off any traps here. Using the dragon had allowed him to avoid all the big deadly traps. Falling rocks, delayed blast death curses, and a whole host of other things. Moving up to the door, he took several minutes to figure out how the spells overlaid the stonework and focused. As his tail started to glow, he tapped the door with his tail and gave a little shove.
Quint cackled as the spells started to collapse. His breed wasn't know as the Parselesque Viper for nothing. They had knack for pulling off the impossible.
"It's time Master." Quint hissed and felt a surge of magic fill his little body.
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"Harry, how are you going to do this?"
"Well while I was rotting in prison, going mad of course, the Dark Log of the East continued to send me visions through my scar. He showed me memories of his past, various meetings, and lots of other things. One of the random things I picked up was how he got his money. He can be frightfully intelligent at times, even I have to admit that."
"How? I've always wondered."
"As with everything it comes down to his followers. He had all of them put a small gem on a pedestal in their vaults at Gringotts. This gem transfers, under the goblin's noses, a certain percentage of the gold that flows into each of the vaults. All these galleons then appear in his hidden vault deep in one of the magical forests."
"It would have to be impossible to even get close to."
Harry nodded, but grinned even wider. "For a human yes, completely impossible, even with the key to the wards. He's pulled off a magnificent bit of magic there. So I sent a friend instead."
"A house elf?"
"Nope, he accounted for them too. They die the instant they appear according to his memories."
"Then how?"
"I summoned a Parselesque Viper."
"A…what?"
"Ah, Hermione, I thought you of all people would understand." Harry looked gleeful as he tried to sound saddened by her ignorance.
"HARRY POTTER! DON'T…" She coughed. "…you start that with me. I can't know everything."
Instead of answering he took a few minutes to finish his dinner and watched Hermione squirm. He couldn't help grinning some more. "A Parselesque Viper is the ultimate magical familiar for a parsletounge speaker. By summoning one I gave him a sliver of my magic, or a chunk in this case, and all the knowledge the little beast could handle. Right now it could defeat anybody given a few minutes to plan. It's intelligent and we even speak the same tongue."
A quiet rumbling started to shake the house and Harry's eyes gleamed a little more in the sunlight. It was time. He channeled a powerful surge of magic through his bond to the Viper. He loved it when a plan came together. Now why was he craving jello all of a sudden?
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The snake's tale rose up and the tip began to glow brightly. Making a waving motion, it sent a beam of magic at the dragon as it started to wake up from its trance. The beam of magic quickly reduced it down into a mouse. It squeaked and rook off running for the exit. There was still no sign of the other dragon though.
Laughing, Quint waved his tail at the stone box and sent a blasting curse crashing into it. The whole side just crumbled to powder. Its Master's power was truly a thing to behold and Quint was still amazed that the boy wasn't completely evil. Moving forward, Quint was sure that certain alarms were going off now the vault was open.
Once inside even it had to gaze in awe at all the gold. Closing its eyes, the snake began to glow as it built up a powerful spell. Then, pointing with the tail, a beam of magic fired out and hit the front wall of gold. Flying up, it landed on top and looked proud as the magic washed over the entire chamber and the gold started to vanish in large chunks.
Within ten minutes the entire chamber was emptied of gold. The snake appeared in a large room as the gold poured in from dozens of openings in the ceiling. House Elves swarmed around the chamber to see what was going on, making sure all the gold went to the right areas. Harry didn't want anyone crushed by all that gold after all.
After a quick breather, Quint took the air and vanished in a burst of fire. An elf collected a couple of fallen feathers and placed them in Harry's study with the other two collected earlier. The snake appeared above Harry and landed on his head. It looked incredibly proud of itself, almost smirking.
"Hello Quint." Harry said, setting the snake on the table.
"Master Harry, I have completed my task."
Ignoring Hermione for the moment, Harry conjured a fat mouse and gave it to the snake. It was more than happy to eat right there.
"What's he saying?"
"Contented sighing. It's the first meal he's had in a few days." Harry explained as he rubbed the snakes head.
"Want to see what he brought back?"
"Lots of gold I assume?"
"Yeah, but its lots of gold. One has to look at all that gold to appreciate it." Harry said as he got up and adjusted his green robe. "It's almost time for me to make an appearance too. I can't let the old men get complacent."
Hermione sighed and nodded. She still wasn't sure what to think about all this, but Harry did have some kind of plan in motion after all. "Lead the way. This should be interesting at least."
"I should hope so."
Just as they were about to arrive at the room, Harry stopped and snapped his fingers. A House Elf was there instantly. Harry reached into his pocket and handed the small ball to the elf. "Please take this to that house where we found the muggle family and make sure it goes off at the right time. Someone should be there any time now."
"Of course Master." It said and vanished.
"A little snapper."
Hermione looked confused again.
"You need to read more Batman comics."
Now she looked irritated.
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His name was William Skerretglom, a thirtieth generation pure blood. He stood in front of the little house where his Master was having several muggles prepared for a Revel. The Master hadn't held a Revel since he returned to full power, but now he felt it was time to start getting things back into full swing again. Will could recall almost twenty years before when The Master terrorized the world and it brought back good memories.
Torturing muggles until they wet themselves, making them crawl around the house like dogs, raping the teenage girls and boys. Those were the days. Unfortunately the death eaters guarding the muggle family hadn't brought them by last night. Will could still feel the pain from all the curses he endured.
He moved down the walk and onto the porch. All the curtains were closed and he couldn't hear anything going on inside the house. That meant that the Repelling Charms and Silencing Wards were up in full force. A wave of his wand confirmed those and several others as well. He didn't recognize a couple of them though.
At the same time he also detected a couple of odd spells on the door and walls of the house. Spells that The Master didn't use normally. Tapping the door with his wand, he said the password, and watched it open with a quiet click.
"At least that's normal." He muttered to himself.
Of course that’s when the giant tongue reached out of the doorway, wrapped around him, and yanked him in. William didn't have time to scream as the tongue swung through the house, passed a sheep stuck by it's horns to the wall, only to be thrown down into the basement. He vaguely heard a loud belch that made the house rumble and door closing.
"What the hell is going on here?" Will snarled as sailed through the air and landed in some water in the basement. It was about three feet deep and rather stagnant. Soaking wet, he stood up and tried to shake some of the water out of his two hundred galleon robes with gold trim and anti staining charms woven into each thread.
He spun to the side a he spotted some movement from the corner of his eye. All he could see were little ripples in the stagnant water. Standing out of the water were four dead potion stands. Whatever was in them seemed to have solidified as well. The smell was bad enough that he decided that going back upstairs would be a good idea.
Turning around, he faced the stairs and stopped dead in his tracks. A head surfaced nest to his let and looked up at him. It wasn't a human head. It was a Hippopotamus head that opened its mouth and he screamed. Sitting in the back of the thing's throat was Nina's head!
"Will, help me?!" She screamed.
The Hippo head closed and the thing dove beneath the water.
"What the hell is going on here?" He babbled, backing towards the stairs.
He felt the thing brush by his ankle and gave a little squeak. Scrambling for the stairs, he heard a splash, then a roar, and IT HAD HIM BY THE FOOT!
"NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Will screamed as he was pulled backwards. The Hippo moved forward, straddling him, opened its mouth wide so he could see whatshername's face again, and leaned forward.
"Will, help me!" She begged again as the Hippo mouth encircled his head and bit down with a snap. His body glowed suddenly and turned into a little blue and pink Ermine. Will the Ermine, fell over with a faint, landing in the water with a small splash.
The woman/Hippo heard a noise and turned around to see another of those Green Robed House Elves standing on the counter. Its glowing green eyes stood out from under the hood as it watched them. She could tell it was smirking. It reached into the pouch all of them carried with them and pulled out a large green sphere filled with some kind of dark substance.
She heard more voices upstairs, but didn't know what to think as the sphere flew across the room and landed on the stairs and shattered. The elf vanished with a little pop just as the dark substance started to grow and writhe…
Meanwhile, upstairs, Kingsley and Mad 'Eye' Moody along with about five junior Aurors were responding to a tip. The first clue that any of them had that something was the sheep hanging on the wall, still struggling to get tree. Kingsley and Mad Eye paled as they realized that this might be a Potter attack.
"We better be careful people, this might be Potter's handy work.
Suddenly hundreds of leafy green tentacles shot out of the basement and wrapped the Aurors up completely, lifted them into the air, and started playing toss. At first they were too shocked to respond much, but then Kingsley suddenly found himself being flung right under a miniature Hippo.
"RUN, RUN FOR YOUR SANITY!" The dark skinned man screamed. He managed to land on the floor, roll to his feet, and started hopping for the front door. Some of his men tried and failed completely.
"BHAAAA!" The sheep yelled.
From the outside the house seemed to smirk as it shuddered once and rose up on a pair of chicken legs, looked around, and raced down the street. Inside the house everything started falling over and flying around. The tentacles started throwing around everything.
"AGHAAAAAAAAAA!" Ten Aurors, a Hippo, Sheep, and barely conscious Ermine screamed in fear. The House continued running late into the night. It only took time to stop at Number Four Privet Drive and take a leak on the roof. Once that was gone, all that water from the basement, it raced off across the country.
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At the same time, every alarm in the Ministry that detected magic in muggle areas started to go off. Up in his office, Fudge the Skunk downed another calming potion. He was haggard, worn out, and down right pooped. Ever since Potter's visit, the ministry had been falling apart one piece at a time. They still hadn't managed to undo whatever he did to the fountain and now the thing had developed a shark invasion. No one wanted to get near the thing now.
Now the little memo airplanes had started dive bombing people and seemed to be attracted to both Lucious and Umbridge for some reason. He hadn't seen either one of them for days. Not after they were chased after the building covered in paper cuts. Now the alarms were going off and he just knew that Potter was behind it.
His temporary secretary poked her head into the office. "Sir?"
He ignored the clothes pin on her nose. Magic didn't seem to lesson the smell wafting off his skunk man body at all and everyone was avoiding him. "Send a team to take care of it."
She nodded, having already done that the instant the alarm went off.
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Hermione could only stare up at the large wall. Lights and colors were flashing across her face that her features couldn’t be seen. Shock didn't cover this little revelation. Harry had set up the master bedroom as a kind of monitor room. Instead of using televisions or computers, he'd used scrying mirrors of every shape and size.
Every mirror held a different joke that was taking place at that instant. It was currently snowing inside the headmaster's office. Bill Weasley couldn't figure out why that goblin over there had taken such an interest in the back of his pants. Snape had developed a Doxy invasion in his potions lab. The minister was turning into a skunk.
There was a house on chicken legs doing a cross country dash with it's tongue lolling out. She could just make out people and plants through the windows. Harry stood beside her and grinned. "I didn't even come up with half of these, the elves do it themselves. Though I take credit for the house. I heard about it once when I was a kid."
Hermione could only gape as Ollivander's wands started pairing off and drumming themselves on anything solid. This included Olivander himself, who was soon cowering under his counter. Then Hermione gasped and punched Harry in the arm. "I can't believe you did that!"
"What did I do?"
She pointed at a mirror off in the corner. Turning to the side he took a minute to look it over and started laughing. Lockhart's singing Valentines Day dwarves had invaded Durmstrang and Beauxbatons. They could only watch in horror as rather wide dwarves wearing pink leotards and fairy wings, smoking cigars, and bad attitudes started slapping students around to get them to declare their love.
Harry blinked. "That's a great idea, but it ain't mine."
"Who else could have done it!?"
Suddenly Dobby is looking up at them and giggling like a schoolgirl. "Dobby did it."
Harry grins. "Excellent work! Spread the chaos!"
"I can't believe you would let him do that!" Hermione yells.
He shrugs. "That house idea wasn't working anyway, I needed something better and those dwarves will do the job."
Hermione could only palm her face and sigh in defeat.
"Now let's go count my mountain of gold and see just how much Quint brought us." Harry said. "Though the sight of a school full of French girls cooing over those dwarves is rather enticing…" He leered.
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Knockturn Alley, never has there been a hive of such filth and scum that deserved what was about to happen to it. Those residents who understood the ebb and flow of people that moved through the alley were the first to notice that something wasn't quite right, but they couldn't figure out what it was. The knowledge was more instinctive than something that could be seen.
Evil isn't known for being observant. So when over a hundred House Elves in green robes appear in random spots through out the alley, no one really notices. House Elves are furniture after all, something to be ignored until its needed. This was something the majority of Knockturn Alley was very good at. Werewolves, Vampires, and Pure Blood monsters stalked the streets. House Elves knew all of this as they started to sprinkle glittery dust on the buildings.
Harry was quite proud of this invention. From his point of view, the magical world rarely created anything new anymore, so his quest for revenge was proving to be quite easy. The dust looked harmless enough and might even be something for muggle girls to play with. Of course he'd been forced to decrees the effect a bit after a couple of tests.
Of course, it only took about twenty elves to spread the dust. The others had various jobs to perform that took most of the night. As with every building encountered so far, Harry just couldn’t leave them alone. These morons were just way to complacent. They needed lots of wake up calls to get them off their asses. Hell, after everything he'd done so far all the Ministry had done was put a price on his head and assign several Aurors to his case.
They were all brainless twits. Harry had even been looking out in case the Department of Mysteries decided to send some people after him. So far they'd been quiet though. As long as they stayed that way he would leave them alone. If they had anyone in Knockturn Alley, they would have started to see strange sights staring a couple of hours after midnight.
Werewolves started acting like, well dogs, jumping around, chasing balls and cats, peeing on walls, and driving shopkeepers mad. At the same time, Vampires started to develop what could only be described as 'fang ache' and a craving for strawberry jam. Groans and howls filled the area of evil by three in the morning and the prostitutes, what few of them were around, were hiding under their beds. They knew the signs.
As tempers shortened fights started up and spilled out into the Alley itself from several bars. By four in the morning a full blown riot was taking place. Shops were closing down, doors locked, and shops hidden from sight as the Werewolves and Vampires fought. No one really noticed in the confusion, but there were no killings, though not from lack of trying.
Aurors swarmed into the alley at half past five in the morning. By this time most of the combatants were down and the fighting had stopped. As with so many things, riots like this did happen from time to time on their own, but this time we know different. As the last Auror entered Knockturn Alley everyone skidded to a halt as loud popping noises filled the alley and everyone looked towards the roofs.
A hundred green robed House Elves, with glowing green eyes and mouths, stared down at the rioters. Someone screamed "Potter!" and the chaos turned to panic as the whole of Knockturn Alley lit up in a giant green glow that quickly spread through out the entire alley, covering everything, including the people. The Elves dodged spells fired at them by the Aurors and others.
The Vampires raided a nearby store and emptied it of jam and toothache medicine. The Werewolves suddenly developed severe case of fleas and were quickly taken down. Smoke started to pour off the buildings, out windows, and fill the streets.
With Elves popping all over the place, the Aurors didn't see Harry Potter appear at the mouth of the alley. He walked towards the nearest store and calmly blasted a hole in the wall. He ignored the Aurors in the background as they started laughing insanely. That's what the dust did when it turned into smoke. Just a simple modification to a laughing potion, anyone could do it. The Book of Knowledge or BK said so in easy to follow instructions.
Behind him a two story mutant iguana started stomping its way through the alley, much to those residents that hadn't succumbed to the gas yet. Harry looked around and saw that he was in a shop that had an entrance facing into both alleys. One in Knockturn and another facing into Diagon Alley for better business.
He grinned as he spotted half a dozen people cowering under tables, some of the started to whimper as he eyed them. "This is what I mean, look at them, just a little bit of anything out of the ordinary and they just fall to pieces." He apparently said to himself.
A man screamed, jumped up, and leveled his wand. "Avad…" The man's voice turned into a high pitched squeak as his body seemed to shrink in on itself until the only word that came out of it's mouth was "Quack!"
"Yes I had to turn him into a Goose."
"Because it has more intelligence that these losers. Who knows, he might even find a mate and not contaminate the gene pool." Harry said with a nod. The Goose fainted.
The owner peaked out from the side of the bar. "Potter, we don't want any trouble..."
Harry cocked his head to the side. "Isn't that cute, the sniveling worm has a backbone, and yet he caters to murders and psychopaths." He looked to the air beside him. "I don't care, it's not like I'm going to kill any of them. How can learn a lesson when their dead?"
Spinning on his heal, Harry's staff appeared in his hand and he twirled it over his head with one hand as he cast a spell. It took ten minutes for people to come out of hiding. Which triggered the spell. With a burst of white and green light, something fell from the ceiling, landing with a splat. Everyone could only stare at the three foot long mutant slug.
"GWARAAAA!" It said cutely, opened it's mouth, and gob of grayish white mucus flew out and pinned a victim to the wall. The screaming began from there.
Out in the alley again Harry surveyed the several hundred people unable to stop laughing and grinned. As he walked, occasionally stepping over a cackling werewolf or Auror, he took a few seconds to blast away illusions and doors to businesses. His elves made sure that no one got close as they tossed around WWW products at those unaffected by the gas.
"No I don't think I'm going to far. These idiots have gotten away with this crap for far to long. It's time to make them feel a little of what they dish out to others." Harry said as he heard a window shattering. He looked up to see a half dozen bludgers heading his way. As they flew at him, intent on causing damage, they exploded in mid air.
With a wave of his hand, Harry's own floating devices appeared out of nowhere and started strafing the alley. Every now and then they would find someone marked with a Dark Mark, hit them with a fired spell, and teleport them to Harry's holding cells. With another wave the laughing werewolves were instantly transfigured into dog form. He took a second, before transforming one of them, to step on his chest.
The uncontrollable laughing did nothing to hid the sudden fear in the man's eyes as Harry grinned, then frowned and looked to the side. "Where did you get the idea that I'm going to kill people? Really? Have I ever killed anyone? No, yet you insist on telling me not to kill these peons." Harry snorted. "Me and you are going to have to discuss your trust issues 'moine."
As Harry stepped off the man he suddenly transformed into a Snuffaluffaguss. "No I'm not going to explain where I come up with this stuff. I'm insane, the insane don't explain things. They just do things and get called eccentric."
"What do you mean 'where are all the books?' I'm taking them of course."
Harry shrugged. "They're probably stolen anyway, who cares, anyway, think I've got everything I need."
He glanced down at the laughing Auror under his foot and wondered what else he should do. With a shrug, he vanished in sparkly wave of light and a high pitched humming sound that sci-fi geeks around the world would instantly recognize. And the Auror, well, he appears to have turned into a rather large squirrel. The giant Iguana pokes its head up from behind a building, a bag of trash hanging from its mouth and snuffs, looking down at the squirrel.
It runs for its life.
oooooooooo
To be Continued…
Notes: This chapter just didn't want to flow right. I had to cut and rewrite that scene in the basement at least three times and the thing just didn't work. What I have is disappointing and not as good as I'd hoped, but eventually I was forced to move on. At least I was able to bring an Ermine into the story. If you know the Manga Negima, you know why Will became an Ermine.
Nod.
Harry's reign of terror continues…and what the hell is it with squirrels in this story…even I don’t' know