Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Passing Notes ❯ A Cloak And A Note ( Chapter 5 )

I had been sitting in the library for another hour after Draco left just thinking. It seemed that these days I was more lost in thought than I ever had been. My thoughts, no matter how they began, always lead me to him. I wondered how his day was going, how he was doing in his school work and now, as I sat mindlessly flipping the pages of my book, I wondered if we would ever speak again.

I didn't know what I expected from this makeshift friendship. I truly enjoyed conversing with him, for what particular reasons I could not pinpoint, but I did enjoy it. It was stimulating, new, and ever so intriguing. So the idea of it never commencing again was all but heartbreaking

But he had seemed so torn and confused. At the time I thought his reaction was due to my response. I had taken a risk and had written something I would deem now as out of character. I was shocked that he had called me beautiful. It had truly thrown me through some loops. And as I sat writing I went with instinct instead of reason. I had picked up my quill with a type of determination and had written, before I could think about it any better, `they don't have to know if we don't want them to. We could keep it between us.'

I had sent the snake on his way, cringing at what his response could be. Soon my nervousness had overtaken me and I was quickly following the snake. Another shock came when I noticed he was all but one meter away from me. That, naturally, sparked my curiosity. Why had he been so close and had not dared to just sit with me? Had he sat so close on our previous conversation?

I am a naturally inquisitive being and as these thoughts gathered in my brain I took the chance to examine him. He seemed so forlorn and deep in his thoughts I could only begin to imagine. He leaned his elbows on the desk and cradled his head in his palms. As he thought, he would make small noises only lending me a glimpse into his emotions. From what I had heard he was not pleased with whatever he was thinking and that had made me feel worse. I hadn't intended my response to be so upsetting. I actually didn't know what I intended with my response but I knew I did not want him upset. When he pushed his chair back and seemed to be readying himself to leave I knew I had to step forward and say something.

“Leaving so soon?” I leaned against the bookshelves, trying to keep my legs from turning into jelly. I was so nervous, had my response truly given him such a terrible mood? He had glanced at me, then at his bag before returning back to look at me. He seemed to be contemplating his choice of words and when he spoke I was able to feel the extent of his trouble.

“I thought it best to cut our conversation short.” I didn't wish to show it but that response had wounded me. I was such a fool, taking such an uncalculated risk by saying such things. How could I have been so stupid?

I gathered my Gryffindor courage and steadied my voice, “And why would you want to do that? Was it something I said?” He wasn't looking at me and it unnerved me more. Had my words really been that bad? I knew it was rather forward of me to say those things but never had I imaged that it would turn out this badly. I moved forward so that I could try and see into his eyes. I just needed to know what he was thinking.

It was then that he spoke, as if knowing the intense desire I held for answers. “No, it was something I thought of while sitting here.” I should have known. Speaking with him never calmed my thirst for understanding when it came to him. Though I learn more about the elusive Slytherin, one answer only brought about more questions.

I was so unsure about all of this. Soon doubt began to trickle into my thoughts. What if this was a horrible mistake? Should I really be risking so much to speak to someone I barely cared for? But I knew the answer to that question at least. Since our first encounter he had slowly been intruding upon not only my thoughts but my heart as well. Though I hated to admit it I held some sort of affection for my childhood tormentor and even if it troubled me I could not turn away from him, from this.

I decided to continue asking questions in hopes of gaining some sort of definitive answer so with nerves clear in my tone I asked, “And what was that?”

He stared down at me then, finally looking at me. I wish he hadn't. His stance, his look, everything brought me back to the moment when we first kissed and I could feel my hands itching to touch him. I took a deep breath and fisted my hands, trying to compel them to remain at my side. I had hardly pained attention to him when I felt his hand on my cheek.

It was as if he had shocked me. I looked right into his eyes as his fingers brushed my cheeks. I could feel them warm under his touch, whether that was the reason behind it I was not sure. His hand then moved from my cheek to my ungodly mass of hair. His fingers idly played with a ringlet that had escaped from the confines of my bun. He seemed so far away as he studied my hair. It was as if he wasn't even standing before me. It was then that he turned his gaze away and prepared to speak.

“We are truly playing a dangerous game and I just realized how dangerous it really is.” I thought of his words as I followed his lead and moved my eyes to his chest. I had never given much thought to what would happen if our meetings were to be discovered. I guess Harry and Ron would not be pleased, certainly not Ron. Harry might give me a chance to explain but Ron would be more livid than when I had gone to the Yule Ball with Viktor. I thought harder about his words and then realized the danger he would be in if this were to be revealed.

This game as he called it was much more threatening to him than to me. I can just imagine what would happen to him if his fellow Slytherin's would say if they caught wind of this, let alone what his father would say. I sighed and reached up to caress a button on his shirt. “Yes, I suppose we are.” But I couldn't let go of what we had begun to build. I didn't know what to say, what to do but I knew that I did not want this to be the last of our conversations. They had just begun, and I was just now starting to see the man I saw our first night. I just had to know, “Is that so bad?”

He seemed to be completely out of sorts as he spoke. “I honestly don't know. You are everything I have been taught to hate, yet here I am, seeking you out. And while I think of you I am turning into something I don't know if I want to be.” I looked at him as he spoke, and when he shut his eyes I felt him drawing away. My mind was racing with questions but the one I couldn't get was, “What are you becoming?”

I wasn't prepared for his answer; I don't think anything could have prepared me for his answer. He took a deep breath and when the words left his mouth I felt as if I was being struck. “A blood traitor.”

I wrapped his cloak around me as I looked at the place he once stood. I rubbed my face in it, smelling the expensive cologne I had come to find as my comfort. I had lived in my own world since the day he kissed me and in that world I had forgotten of his blood ties. Whenever I spoke to him I never thought of blood or the war, it was as if I had forgotten it all and just enjoyed the moments we shared. But to have reality hit me so hard and suddenly had left me sitting, thinking of the reality of it all.

All my thoughts kept bringing me to the same conclusion; this would be the last time I spoke with the youngest Malfoy. He was right, continuing to have these encounters would not be wise and though I had come to love them dearly I could not have him risking anything for me. We would remain as we were, two people on completely different sides of the spectrum; yet, there was a catch. I still held possession of his cloak.

I sighed and let the cloak fall loosely around my body as I began to gather my things. Returning it to him would be troublesome, as I did not want our meetings to be known. I couldn't just walk up to him in the great hall and hand it back to him. I suppose I could owl it back to him using a school owl. No one would know it was me who sent it and he would have his cloak back without us having to meet again.

I finished packing as I removed his cloak from my shoulders. Yes, that would be the most logical solution. I took his cloak and folded it neatly. I would send it with the morning post and then I could put everything behind me and remember it as a fleeting moment.

The next morning I woke early and prepared his robe for delivery. I wrapped it in parchment and tied it with a hair ribbon of lavenders'. She had so many I doubt she would notice one missing. I prepared myself for the day then marched out to the owlery. As I tied the package to the owl's leg a sudden wave of longing washed over me. I had grown attached to the garment, as silly as that may be. I had slept with it every night. The smell it held, the soft feel of the fabric, it was so comforting to me that I would miss it. It was my last connection to him, my last reason for every seeing him again and I was sending it to him in a way so that we would not meet.

I doubted my plan. What if I should give it to him, what if he was insulted by me not returning it to him in person? But as those thoughts came I knew they were my wistful fantasy. The way he left the night before, it was clear that he did not desire another meeting so with a treat to the owl I watched as he took off to deliver my last message to Draco.

I don't remember returning from the great hall, nor do I remember placing the food I was now eating on my plate. I do remember when Harry and Ron joined me for breakfast because it was at that moment that the questions began.

“'Mione, you feelin' all right?” It was Ron. I hadn't realized that I was so down until Ron had spoken to me. Him being the less observant of the two I knew if Ron could notice my melancholy state then so could everyone else.

I shook my head and gave him the best smile I could muster. “Of course Ronald, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?”

Harry was the one to answer that time. “Because you called him Ronald and you only do that when you are either upset or lying.” Though I loved my boys greatly Harry's intuition was sometimes more trouble than good.

I kept my sunny demeanor as I shook them off, “Please I am fine really, I just have so much on my mind with school and your silly potions book.” I knew mentioning the book would make Harry leave the topic alone. He knew my displeasure in him using the Half Blood Prince's side notes very well and would not want to make an argument of it with so many ears present.

Ron snorted as he shoveled food onto his plate and began to eat. We soon fell into our regular morning chatter as the post came. Though I tried I couldn't keep my eyes from going to my lost conversation partner. I had the feeling that by sending it by post I was not doing the right thing and I just had to know his reaction. I watched as owl by owl flew past until suddenly my package fell into his morning oatmeal. The look of shock did not go unnoticed by his mates, as Parkinson seemed to badger him about who it was from.

When he opened it the whole lot of Slytherins around him became quite loud as a million questions were shot at him at once but through it all his eyes meet mine. I couldn't tell the emotion he held in them. Was it hurt, gratefulness, or something completely different? From such a distance I could not tell but I knew he was giving me a look. As quickly as the look came it turned as he went about answer the questions from his peers.

I still didn't feel right, all day I was wondering if I had done the right thing by sending it through the post. Parkinson had made a huge fuss about it the whole day. Everywhere I seemed to turn her annoying chatter filled the air. If it wasn't questions of who had it, it was questions about his supposed infidelity to her. I had heard him on more than one occasion state that it was none of her business who he was with but that never sufficed the girl's curiosity.

The more I heard her talk about it the more I came to the realization that I had made a mistake. I should have just sent it to him that evening instead of making a big spectacle out of it by sending it with the post. Or I should have done as my instinct told me and brought it to him myself. By the end of the day I needed to get away from everything and just forget about Draco.

It was harder than I thought. The more I didn't want to think about him the more I thought about him. Soon I was drifting off into daydreams where we were speaking by the lake, or hiding away in an empty classroom discussing the mishap that was sending his cloak. So when I opened my eyes to see him sitting across from me in the library I took it as being another of my fantasies.

“Must I honestly continue to daydream about this?” I spoke aloud, assuming that if it was my daydream I could say anything I wanted without consequence.

“Oh, so now you are day dreaming about me Granger? This is a surprising development.” It was the sound of his voice that indicated this was no dream. It sounded like it always did, cold, haunting, and ready to burn me.

I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the verbal lashing I knew accompanied that tone. “Not that it is any of your business Malfoy, but why would I dream about an insufferable git like you?”

It was like our meetings had never occurred. He sat there, calculating smirk plastered across his face as his eyes showed the thought he was placing into his retort. “I would rather be an insufferable git than a know-it-all little muggleborn.” Whatever I planned on saying in return instantly vanished as the word I had been expecting never came. I looked at him, wondering what was happening when he spoke again. “I have orders to bring you to professor Snape's office. He would like to speak with you.”

I rose without a word, wondering not only what Snape wanted but why Malfoy had not called me a Mudblood. Maybe our conversations had changed him and he was still the Draco I had known in our meetings. I followed him wordlessly toward the DADA classroom wondering what was going on; when we entered the Snape-less classroom I was more confused than ever.

I looked about; trying to deduce what was going on when he spoke. “There wasn't a more private way you could have returned my cloak to me or did you enjoy watching me be harassed by Pansy?”

I turned to look at him, unable to think. “Ummm… I thought we were meeting Snape.” I instantly wanted to smack myself, here he was, the boy I had wanted to speak with since we parted yesterday and all I could say was `where's Snape'?

He seemed a bit perplexed by my lack of understanding, understanding of what I wasn't sure. “Snape left this afternoon, we are free to speak here without interruption. Now, did you enjoy watching me squirm under Pansy's questions?”

I felt my heart leap at the answer. He had sought me out; he didn't want it to end. “No, I just saw it as the best option at the moment.” I looked down at my feet, which had suddenly become fascinating. “After you left the night before I thought that was the end of our meetings.”

“It was.” I winced at his statement, though I wish I hadn't. I could feel him looking at me but I didn't want to meet his gaze. I felt stupid, I was so happy when I found he wanted to speak to me only to find out he just wanted to know why I had made such a big thing out of returning it. I shifted my weight as I continued to feel his eyes on me. I had the largest urge to leave at that moment. My cheeks were a bit flushed with the embarrassment I felt at my excitement and I did not want to be around when he realized it and mocked me for it.

I was about to run when I looked up to find him standing in front of me. I gasped in fright, not even noticing he had moved. He looked down at me with his haunting gray eyes and I felt my knees begin to grow weak. He moved his hand to my face, just as the night before, as he just stared right into my eyes. “I never planned on seeking you out again but last night, I couldn't sleep. I just kept thinking about you and everytime I thought of not speaking with you again it made me feel so uneasy, like I was making a mistake. And when my cloak came in the post I couldn't help but be a bit hurt…”

“I just didn't want to upset you! I really thought it was the best plan but then I thought about it all day and Parkinson was making such a fuss and I just felt so uneasy about giving it back to you and I thought that way no one would catch me giving it to you and it would just be easier and I felt like you didn't want to see me again even though...” I was cut off in my babbling when I felt his lips crash to mine.

It had been so long since I had felt his lips on mine and it felt more amazing than the first time. I stood there, his hands cupping my face and just kissed him as he kissed me. Soon my arms came back to life and wound themselves around his shoulders. I didn't know what we were doing, or where we would go from here but I was glad to be here.

@@@@@@@@@@@@

Pansy looked around Draco's room annoyed. “How could he do this to me. I gave him EVERYTHING!” She tore his room apart looking for something to give her proof that Draco was with another woman. She spotted his bag on his desk chair and grabbed it. She threw the flap open and saw two folded pieces of colored parchment. She pulled them out and looked at the green one first, Shock overcoming her face as she read. “Draco, what are you doing?”

AUTHOR NOTE!!: Hello, PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!! I have two jobs now so free time is hard to find. Plus when I'm not working I am just not inspired to write cause work SUCKS MY SOUL AWAY!! But I was inspired by the story “Burning Hunger” by Vashka. It is just such a good story and really just inspired me to write which brought this chapter so good read her or his stuff cause it rocks my socks. Oh and PLEASE REVIEW!!! Your reviews really inspire me. Please tell me what you think, your ideas about what should happen next cause I am always changing my ideas and your reviews really just give me the boost to write so please inspire me!! Also love to my wonderful beta's Ted and Stephanie!! I HOPED YOU ALL ENJOYED THE CHAPTER!!!