[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter 5 – Moony's Apology pt 1

“Yes he is, and I'll be there the whole way encouraging him.” said James with a smirk on his face.

Sirius grabbed the closest object he could find and threw it at James. Unfortunately for James and himself this happened to be one of those 1,000 page dictionary's that Sirius had been using to look up some of the “Scholarly” words, putting a second Marauder into the hospital wing for a broken nose that night.

Walking by himself to the Gryffindor Dormitory. Sirius thought about a couple of words he had heard throughout the day a few he had just learned like douche bag or amychesis. He turned a corner and almost ran into a group of fifth year Ravenclaw girls. He stopped to listen to their conversation, staying a safe distance so he wouldn't be noticed (He's been known to cause a few riots with his “Gorgeousness”).

“Omg like, typhlobasia is so old fashioned! So cliché it's been done like a bazillion times! Now amomaxia thats hot. Like in all capital letters.” The girls around her giggled and some blushed.

Sirius not understanding some of the words went up to them and asked politely, “Excuse me ladies, would one of you mind explaining to me what typhlobasia and amomaxia mean?”

The girls all blushed deeply, one particularly shy girl was pushed to the front, volunteered by her so called “Friends”. “Umm, well... I'm sorry! I can't tell you Master Black! Master Lupin told us not to that you were to figure it out on your own. All I can tell you is that your answers are on either the Hogwarts or Hogsmade land.” She bowed and ran away from Sirius, her group of friends following in her steed, some smiling apologetically while others snickered softly under their breaths.

Sirius shook his head and sighed. All the girls in the school grew accustomed to calling the Marauder's Master after an extraordinary prank they had pulled in order to get a terrible teacher fired and (Get ready to gasp in shock) it was Remus' idea. Sweet lil Remus, who knew he had it in him? Anyway let's get back on track.

Sirius made his way cautiously towards the front doors leading to the lands outside. He had no idea what was in store for him. All he knew was that Remus was involved and that he could very well be so greatly embarrassed that even he the almighty Sirius Black would be too ashamed to show his face.

Shaking those thoughts out of his mind, Sirius snuck through the front entrance and onto the grounds. He found a note floating just above his head. Curious as to what it held, Sirius opened the letter and saw a paper inside. The words written on the paper were in Remus' elegant script.

Dear Padfoot,

Go to Hogsmade and board the train. From there you are to walk to compartment 13, before entering though you must cast a disillusionment spell on yourself or it isn't going to work. Upon entering you are to stay put until whatever it is that is there leaves, and from there you are to go to Madam Rosemerta's and get a bottle of fire whiskey. Last but not least Padfoot , bring the fire whiskey to the Astronomy Tower, where there will be a surprise for you.

Your best friend for life,

Moony

P.S.- No Padfoot this isn't a prank this is me saying sorry for being angry at you for something as ridiculous as a howler from a house elf... even if it was in front of the whole student body. Well c'mon Padfoot what are you still doing here? get a move on. You have to be in compartment 13 in twenty minutes. Also this letter will explode in 5 ... 4... 3... 2... 1...

Poof!!

Sirius jumped back from the smoke, and started moving towards Hogsmade, deciding that the shrieking shack was the fastest way there. Turning into his animagus form he trotted towards the huge killer tree. Luckily for him the tree hadn't noticed his presence and he was able to slide into the hole at the base of the tree without any trouble.

Turning back into his human form he walked to the room where Moony transformed every full moon. Looking out of a single window, Sirius noted that there was about 5 days left before the next one appeared.

Sighing Sirius opened a padlocked door at the back of the room, “Alohamora!” the door opened loudly squeaking in protest. Sirius walked out of the room locking the door behind him, making sure it was secure so Moony wouldn't be able to get out.

He quickly made his way towards the train station just down down the hill from the shack . Upon arriving he put a disillusionment spell on himself, he slowly made his way towards compartment 13 and hid above the benches so he had a good view of what is to come. Seeing another note, he picked it up and read it.

Padfoot,

I know I didn't say this earlier but make sure you place a silencing charm on yourself and only yourself.. you got me Pads? Only yourself. Thats all enjoy the show.

you friend, Moony

“Why would I have to put a silencing charm on myself for?” Sirius questioned softly, shrugging he cast a silencing charm on himself and waited for whoever or whatever was coming. Little did he know was that he was in for a big surprise, one that no one could possibly imagine.

Remus had, unfortunately been lying. This was not an apology. This was complete and utter pay back.

Chapter 6 – Moony's Apology Pt2

Previously on Professor Moony's Explanation of Inappropriate Words to one Sirius Black

“Why would I have to put a silencing charm on myself for?” Sirius questioned softly, shrugging he cast a silencing charm on himself and waited for whoever or whatever was coming. Little did he know was that he was in for a big surprise, one that no one could possibly imagine. Remus had, unfortunately been lying. This was not an apology. This was complete and utter pay back.

Barely forty seconds later, two voices echoed down the empty train. Sirius' eyes widened considerably. “Merlin, Remus did NOT just set me up for-”

And then Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape walked into the compartment. Sirius began cursing in every language he knew, and the boys sat down right underneath the luggage compartment. Sirius yelled and turned his head, but no matter what he did, he still had a perfect view of the two boys beneath him. Sirius, not being the brightest, of course, did not close his eyes, and so he saw whe Lucius and Severus began to get closer and closer together.

NON-SLASH PEOPLE, BAIL OUT HERE. SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU SEE NON-SLASH WELCOME BACK!!

No ones POV Really

Severus Snape glared at Lucius Malfoy as the blond haired boy pulled him into compartment 13 of the Hogwarts Express. “What the bloody hell are we doing here Lucius? Better yet what are we doing here in the middle of the night?” asked Severus as Lucius pushed him onto the bench next to him. him. Lucius sighed and sat next to the black haired youth, “Can't you for once just shut up and kiss me?” he asked slightly annoyed.

Getting the idea Severus pulled Lucius to him kissing him roughly, pulling the boy closer still using his hand, using his free hand he began unbuttoning the Vella boys robes. As the last button was freed, Severus pushed the the robes slowly off Lucius' shoulders kissing anywhere skin was being revealed.

Lucius buried his face into Severus' hair inhaling the smell of plums and some kind of foreign scent he couldn't quite identify. Whoever said Snape needed to wash his hair obviously had no idea what the hell they were talking about, his hair was soft like silk and not a bit greasy. It took Lucius a moment to realize that he had been hurting Severus because he had somehow unknowingly slipped his hands into Snape's hair and was pulling on it roughly. “I'm sorry.”

“It's fine.” Lucius suddenly stopped Severus, and started to undress him. Roughly he pushed Snape's robes off of the boys shoulders and slowly dragged his fingers up and down Severus arms making him groan quietly. Roughly Lucius pulled Severus into a rough kiss once again.

Lucius pulled away from Severus gasping for breath, leaning against the other boys shoulder for support. Severus seeing this as a sign of weakness pushed the vela so that he was under him. Pressing himself close to Lucius he could feel the boys heartbeat and his growing arousal. Feeling like teasing the boy Severus slightly brushed Lucius' lips with his before pulling up to watch in amusement as the boy under him glared daggers.

Severus smirked knowing that he was in complete control of Lucius. Leaning down he gently bit Malfoy's pulse point making him gasp softly, “Severus. Why do you tease me so?”

Choosing to ignore the question, Severus slowly started sucking on Lucius' most sensitive bits of skin. Right under his left ear, his Adams apple, that spot right above his left collarbone... you get the point. Underneath him Lucius shuddered violently as warm wet tongue and lips teased him gently almost as though they were just a figment of his imagination.

“Severus…” Lucius was about to become forceful if he didn't stop this soon.

Severus pulled Lucius closer by his hair and slipped his teasing tongue into Lucius' mouth, scraping his tongue over Lucius' teeth. Lucius thrust his his up grinding his hips against Severus', satisfied when a deep groan vibrated through Lucius’ mouth.

Severus slipped his hands under Lucius' shirt slipping said shirt over Lucius' head and latching his mouth onto Lucius' nipple, switching his attention to the other one every couple of minutes.

Lucius undid Severus' belt buckle and fumbled for the button and zipper of his trousers. It was a bit hard to do anything, with the warm hands teaing his skin and Severus' teasing tongue sucking his skin in his most sensitive spots.

Breaking off for breath, Severus slipped his hands hands down Lucius' body and started to remove the trousers that hide the rest of Lucius' body from him. Barely touching him, Severus quickly discarded all clothes, throwing them on top of the luggage compartment were their robes were thrown.

Lucius was in pain, he needed release… Now! Severus deciding that he tortured Lucius enough, nuzzled Lucius’ neck and grabbed his wand from the floor pointing it towards Lucius' arse. Muttering a spell he threw the wand haphazardly on the floor not thinking about how much pain Lucius' might be in he slammed himself harshly into the tight ring of muscles and deeply into Lucius' body.

The force of Severus' thrusts made Lucius groan loudly and dig his head into Severus' shoulder, grabbing the taller boys shirt tightly in his hands. Lucius panted, letting his head fall back against the Bench. Severus’ shirt was rubbing just the right way against his cock. Just a bit more and… sigh. Without losing pace Severus' changed their their position position slightly so that he hit that bundle on nerves deep inside continuously with his rhythmic thrusting.

A few more well placed thrusts and Lucius came to his release, biting Severus shoulder in the process but Severus was too preoccupied with the pleasure coursing through his body to care. Only when he finally caught his breath did he glare angrily at Lucius for leaving a big bright purple bruise on his shoulder.

NON-SLASH, WELCOME BACK

Sighing the boys put their robes and trousers back on and started towards the exit. “Severus?”asked Lucius curiously

“Yes Lucius? What could you possibly want?”

“Do you get the feeling we are being watched?”

Severus and Lucius turned around and looked all around the compartment.

“Nah it must have been your imagination, C'mon we have to go before Slughorn does bed checks.”

The two boys walked out of the train unknowing of the horror they just released on the poor Sirius Black.

Sirius, shaking stumbled out of the compartment. He rubbed his eyes, violently trying to scrub the images out of his head. He fell to his knees and emptied his stomach of everything, and that's a hell of a lot of stuff, onto the floor. Sirius made it off the train and onto the lawn near the lake before realizing that the images still flashing through his head wouldn't leave by natural means, he headed for Hogsmade.

In the quiet little town, he sat down at the bar in the Three Broomsticks. Rosemerta took one look at Sirius, and handed him a fire whiskey, and a bowl of stew. “I won't fight you over it today, Black, you look like hell.”

Sirius mechanically swallowed the fire whiskey, and ate the stew. He stared into space, reliving the events of the compartment. Madame Rosemerta put a second bottle on the table, and bent to retrieve a fallen napkin. This reminded Sirius, with a jolt of the letter from Remus. He scooped up the bottle, and headed to the Astronomy Tower, desperately praying that Remus wouldn't do anything else.

Chapter 7 – Moony's Apology pt.3

Previously on Professor Moony's Explanation of Inappropriate Words To One Sirius Black

Sirius, shaking stumbled out of the compartment. He rubbed his eyes, violently trying to scrub the images out of his head. He fell to his knees and emptied his stomach of everything, and that's a hell of a lot of stuff, onto the floor. Sirius made it off the train and onto the lawn near the lake before realizing that the images still flashing through his head wouldn't leave by natural means, he headed for Hogsmade.

In the quiet little town, he sat down at the bar in the Three Broomsticks. Rosemerta took one look at Sirius, and handed him a fire whiskey, and a bowl of stew. “I won't fight you over it today, Black, you look like hell.”

Sirius mechanically swallowed the fire whiskey, and ate the stew. He stared into space, reliving the events of the compartment. Madame Rosemerta put a second bottle on the table, and bent to retrieve a fallen napkin. This reminded Sirius, with a jolt of the letter from Remus. He scooped up the bottle, and headed to the Astronomy Tower, desperately praying that Remus wouldn't do anything else.

In the Astronomy Tower, Remus waited in the shadows for the tormented boy. With him, he had his wand, and the moment Sirius rounded the corner he was ready to obliviate his mind. Unfortunately when Sirius was happening around said corner Remus had just come upon a hilarious part in his book, this resulted in said boy hysterical laughing while casting the spell on the other said boy. Thus instead of Remus saying “Obliviate!” like he was supposed to he said “Obvirate!”, which now leads to a new and very confusing problem. You see because now Sirius has turned Bisexual.

This is rather hard to understand for many reasons one being the fact that this has only happened twice in the whole history of the Wizarding world once was with the one and only Albus Dumbledore and the other well lets just say he is a very old grumpy guy with a stupid cat and works like a janitor (Yes I am talking about Filtch)

Sirius froze, and glared at Remus. The trauma of the change of hormones in Sirius' brain had temporarily suppressed the memories of Lucius and Severus, and then Sirius realized, "Oh Merlin, he is hot" Then Sirius slapped himself. "No, that is your best friend. He is so not hot... Okay, yes he is- NO! Bad Padfoot. Remus is so hot! No, he is NOT hot. Wait, now I'm confused."

Remus gasped in shock, and Sirius realized that he had just been having a conversation with himself out loud. "Sirius, do you mean to say that you like me?" Remus demanded.

"Um-NO! I mean, well, yes. No! Yes... I mean- Remus, what do I mean?" Sirius asked.

The lycanthrope blinked a few times and then replied, "I think you mean that you have no idea what you mean, Pads."

Sirius grinned, "EXACTLY!" Then, realizing he was still very confused, Sirius cocked his head to the side and whined, "Remus, explain what I mean to me?"

"Yes, and no." Remus said, just to confuse poor Sirius even further. "See, it started when you realized you think I'm hot, and ended where you tried to convince yourself that I'm not."

At that point, Sirius started humming "This is Why I'm Hot" which he had heard over the summer at Remus' house, and he just gave up trying to understand the inner workings of his brain, which his brain decided was a good idea.

Inside Sirius' Brain

Ten mini-Siriuses run around a large empty space with several pieces of parchment and quills. One pulls a wand and torches the paper which reads "Try to have Remus explain my brain" The mini-Sirius yelled, "C'mon people, Memory is still on vacation, and I need Emotion to tone down the lust a bit. Common Sense, remind him this is his best friend!"

Another mini-Sirus yelled, "Report from the heart! We have a love cycle coming on for the best friend. Cool the lust and turn up the love boys, we're in for a rough ride!"

All the mini-Siriuses tried in vain to reverse the effects of Remus' spell gone wrong, but nothing would work. The mini-Sirius' were all so busy, that Big Sirius glazed over while they worked, and fell asleep on Remus' shoulder while he was explaining some of the words Sirius had previously begged to know.

Chapter 8- The Brains

“So that is what amomaxia means, Sirius. By the way, sorry about- SIRIUS!” Remus had just realized that Sirius was asleep when the drool hanging from the black haired boy's mouth seeped through his shirt.

Sirius' Brain

“Boss, we have a code white. The best friend is poking us. Get Consciousness up off his fat arse, he has work to do.” One mini-Sirius called.

Another mini-Sirius, off asleep in the corner, got poked awake, and he yelled at the eyes until they got sick of him and opened, Subconsciousness smirked and snidely remarked, “I don't ever go to sleep Consciousness.”

Consciousness retorted, “Well, all you do is nag. I actually keep him running for hours on end. Go sketch a dream or something productive.”

A mini-Sirius scribbling away on a parchment growled, “Break it up, the best friend needs a response.”

Consciousness hurried away to do his job, and Subconsciousness settled into the back of the very empty room. A noise echoed, and Memory jolted out of the corner, vomiting and scrubbing his eyes violently. Reaction instantly began mimicking him and Big Sirius did whatever Reaction decided to do.

“Sirius! Hey, Sirius, look I'm sorry about the train. I think I may have been going a little-” Remus broke off as Sirius began vomiting and scrubbing his eyes. He cleaned up the remains of what had been formerly contained in Sirius' stomach and rubbed his friend's back soothingly. “I guess you haven't forgotten then.”

Sirius' Brain

Memory look horrified. “Like I could ever forget witnessing that horrid - thing! That bloody scarred me for life!” Reaction mimicked this as well, and then mimicked Consciousness in falling over, dead asleep.

Remus' Brain

Behind rows of neatly stacked and labeled wooden cabinets, ten seamlessly working mini-Remuses paused in shock as Sirius keeled over into the space where his upchuck had been moments before. Common Sense poked Reaction and told him, “Well, get him to the Hospital Wing. Pomphrey is the only one who can do anything for him right now.”

Reaction nodded, and got Sirius up to the Hospital Wing. Mischief quickly scribbled a few things down for a story to get Sirius treated for everything and as soon as Reaction got them up to the dorm, Consciousness fell asleep.

Chapter 9- Remus and The Spoon

THE NEXT DAY...

Sirius bounded out of the hospital wing and into the Great Hall with no memory of the night before (as usual) and ate enormous amounts of food (as usual) but today when Remus walked into the Hall he didn't reprimand Sirius for his bad manners. In fact, Remus simply stared at Sirius and groaned. “Too awake...”

Sirius looked up from his mountain of food and said, “Wemus ruts vongr?” through a mouth full of food.

“Everyone is so awake. Even you, and after last night's events I'm surprised you aren't in a coma. I woke up at three in the morning with a chocolate all over me and I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out why.” Remus said as he plopped his head down on his arms. Sirius frowned, "Why what happened last night that you were covered in chocolate?"

What happened last night in Remus' brain...

Obsession was rocking back and forth in his corner of Remus' brain and moaning about how he had absolutely nothing to do. Consciousness, who was trying to sleep, got angry, and threw a chocolate bar at him. "Eat that and leave me alone!"

Reaction stared at Obsession, and poked Subconsciousness. "Come on, let's get the Big Guy some chocolate from the kitchen. It's been too long for Obsession over there to go without any, so it's about time."

Subconsciousness, Remus' darker side, nodded, and had Remus' body go and eat some chocolate. Obsession grinned happily as more and more chocolate appeared before him, and Reaction gleefully imitated him, coating Big Remus in melty chocolate.

In the Great Hall...

Remus sighed, and, not knowing what had happened replied to Sirius, "I have no idea. Anyway, what do you remember about last night?"

Inside Sirius' Brain

Memory rocked back and forth, remembering the night before, but unable to say anything. The other 9 mini-Siriuses glanced at Memory and told Big Sirius that he had no clue.

In Real Life...

"Hmm, can't remember, Remus. It's almost like my memory is half dead." Sirius had no idea that in his brain, Memory was beginning to turn an unhealthy shade of blue.

Sirius' Brain

After resuscitating Memory and telling him that whatever it was that he couldn't say wasn't important-after all Sirius forgot things all the time- the Siriuses turned on the magical version of a CD player, and put it on repeat. Music filled Sirius' brain, and the mini-Siriuses began dancing to Cause I'm Blonde by Julie Brown. Without realizing it, the mini-Siriuses started singing along.

In Real Life...

James walked into the Great hall for breakfast and stared at Sirius. "Sirius, mate, are you okay?"

Sirius looked up, and said, "Yeah, why?"

Lily leaned over from the other side of James, and said, "As much as I don't like Potter, I have to say it. I think he's right. You're singing 'Cause I'm Blonde' by Julie Brown. That's nearly the girliest song in existence."

Sirius denied it of course, saying things along the lines of "Why on earth would I be singing a muggle song?" or "Do you really think that I would sing that type of muggle song, even if I knew any?"

The groups silence was enough to reassure him that yes, yes he actually would. Sirius determined to prove the threesome wrong looked around the room. By chance one of Sirius' old one night stands walked by. "Yep still hot." He muttered softly to himself. Suddenly an extremely hot Ravenclaw boy passes by..

Inside Sirius' Brain

Lust looked at the Ravenclaw boy and said, "Man, He's so Fucking hot!" Reaction copying Lust said out loud, "Man, he's fucking hot!" resulting in Big Sirius saying the exact same thing. Thought said softly, "Maybe I am Bi?" Once again troublesome Reaction made Big Sirius think out loud, "Maybe I am BI?"

Thought glared at Reaction and threw the nearest object at Reaction. Which had just happened to be a knife (Please kids don't try this at home). Luckily for both Reaction and Big Sirius, Reaction was able to dive out of the way in time.

In Real Life...

Sirius jumped up so fast, it resulted in him falling flat on his face. Remus, James and Peter looked at Sirius wearily. “Oh Sirius. Not again you have to stop doing that!” said Remus. “Ugh, thats the bell we had better get to History of Magic.”

Sirius took a detour running to the kitchens in order to get a snack for History, where the Marauders usually had an after breakfast snack (thats the only way they are able to stay awake). Seeing as Sirius was 10 minutes late to class he had to sneak in quietly, slipping as quietly as possible into the last empty seat in the room. The one that just happened to be next to Remus.

Inside Sirius' Brain

Thought looked through Sirius' eyes, the windows to the outside world. “He's beautiful,” said Thought softly. Emotion shuddered as it felt a tingling sensation all through its “body” Reaction who was lingering close to Emotion jumped up and ran out of the imaginary Hogwarts Castle that resided in Sirius' mind. Heading towards the imaginary one eyed witch. “Dissendium.”

Reaction skipped through the tunnel towards Hogsmade, when he came to the cellar of the imaginary Honeydukes he skipped down the stairs and looked at the many displays of chocolate. Finally selecting a chocolate bowl with a assortment of chocolate sweets and it even came with a little chocolate spoon.

Reaction paid the imaginary cashier. Once that was finished Reaction skipped happily towards Hogwarts once again.

In Real Life...

“He's beautiful,” said Sirius softly. Sirius shuddered as he felt a tingling sensation travel all through his body. Suddenly he jumped up and ran out of the classroom. “Mr. Slack where are you going?” yelled the history of magic teacher.

“To the bathroom sir!” Heading towards the imaginary one eyed witch, he whispered. “Dissendium.”

Sirius skipped through the tunnel towards Hogsmade, when he came to the cellar of Honeydukes he skipped down the stairs and looked at the many displays of chocolate. Finally selecting a chocolate bowl with a assortment of chocolate sweets and it even came with a little chocolate spoon. Sirius paid Mrs. Honeyduke and skipped his way happily towards Hogwarts once again.

Meeting the rest of the Marauders at the end of class they all made their way towards Gryffindor tower. On their way Sirius stopped Remus and pulled him around a corner. “Sirius what are you doing?”

Sirius took out the package from behind his back and handed it to Remus. “Happy Birthday, Remus” he said a nervous smile playing on his lips.

Remus looked at Sirius wearily for the second time that day. “Sirius, it's not by birthday.”Sirius sighed softly. “Just open it please.”

Remus took the package from Sirius and carefully opened gift (This was Sirius after all), and gasped as he saw what was inside. Suddenly Remus ran back around the corner and ran as fast as he could the rest of the way to Gryffindor Tower. Remus ran through the portrait hole, sat in the cozy chair next to the fire and started eating the chocolate.

Sirius, James and Peter ran as fast as they could to catch up with their werewolf friend. They ran through the portrait hole and watched as Remus polished off all of the chocolate, only the spoon was left.

Sirius laughed softly and went to sit next to Remus, “Hey Rem like the cho-” he was cut off by Remus jumping out of his chair, huddles in a corner and holds the spoon tightly to his chest, “No! My spoon, MINE!”

Sirius, James and Peter put up their hands and backed away slowly. “Remus are you okay?” asked Peter softly.

“My spoon!” Remus repeated.

James and Peter glared at Sirius, “What did you do.”

Chapter 10 – Untitled

Previously on Professor Moony's Explaination of Inappropriate words to one Sirius Black

Last time on Professor Moony's Explaination of Inappropriate words to one Sirius Black

Sirius, James and Peter put up their hands and backed away slowly. “Remus are you okay?” asked Peter softly.

“My spoon!” Remus repeated.

James and Peter glared at Sirius, “What did you do.”

AND NOW.......

Sirius held up his hands in surrender, “Nothing! I swear!”

James and Peter gave Sirius a disbelieving look, and Sirius said, “Look, I really didn't do anything to Remus, I have no clue about what happened.”

Remus snapped out of his spoon-protecting trance and remarked, “You never do, Pads. You never do.”

In Remus's brain...

Obesession grabbbed the bowl of chocolate and instantly ran away from the rest of the mini-Remus's who were trying to get the chocolate away from him. As Subconsciousness and Reaction teamed up again, Reaction mimicked Obsession perfectly as Subconsciousness advanced on him. Obsession hid his chocolate spoon, the only part left, and yelled, “My spoon! Mine! My spoon!”

The three boys silently agreed that they were never going to ever mention that incident again. Going up to the dormitories, the four marauders started talking about the Transfiguration exam to come that afternoon. After reviewing for the test at Remus' insistence, the boys walked to Transfiguration together, and sat in a group at the back of the room.

A grueling double Transfiguration period and a seemingly never-ending mid-term later, Remus, Sirius, Peter, and James started the trek to dinner. Halfway down a staircase, Peter's leg vanished into a trick step. As Sirius and James began to pull with all their strength on their friend's arm, Remus muttered the Summoning Charm. Peter flew out of the step and as Remus ducked, right over the third floor banister. Running to the Entrance Hall, Remus and Sirius conjured a stretcher beneath the unconscious boy, as James ran to tell Pomphrey to expect them.

Poppy Pomphrey pointed to a bed and sighed, “Only you four could have an accident like this the one day the banister net charms are disabled for repairs.”

Peter's Brain

“Consciousness!” a mini-Peter shook another mini-Peter who was lying on the floor. Feeling was sobbing in a corner over all the broken bones in Big Peter, and Reaction just lay on the floor in shock. Subconsciousness took over command. “Somebody get us out of shock and into healing A.S.A.P. Wake up Consciousness, and get endorphins pumping, and I want to see the Big Guy eating in an hour at the most!”

Remus and Sirius quietly left the Hospital Wing before they could get roped into chores, as James had been. The poor Marauder was already glazing over.

James' Brain

Pictures of Lily Evans were coating the walls where Obsession flew around looking at each one, trying to impress them all by doing tricks to catch the snitch he was chasing. Memory was babbling to Consciousness about that time Lily had smiled in Big James' general direction, and Subconsciousness had taken over the easy task of moving potions into alphabetical order. Reaction was glazed over, listening intently to Memory while staring at one particular picture of Lily in a bathing suit with her friends by the lake.

As Sirius and Remus walked down the corridor, their sides brushed together more than strictly necessary, though both had yet to apologize, they were both uncertain about what was going on, that is, until it became a game. Remus got jostled to the degree where he had to take a step slightly to the side, and then hip checked Sirius toward the wall. The taller boy retaliated, and the pair tried everything short of magic to trip or otherwise ram the other into the wall or floor.

About five meters from the common room, Remus succeeded in sending Sirius to the floor, but was brought along and he landed on top of Sirius. Their arms automatically wrapped around each other, and their heads collided.

Sirius' Brain

Lust was bouncing around, excited and happy. Reaction, ready to help Lust, to the dismay of Consciousness, caught Remus, and held him against Big Sirius. The rest of the brain stopped functioning to watch as Lust and Reaction took over the whole body, and when Remus' head collided with Big Sirius'...

Remus' Brain

Reaction held securely onto Sirius, and Lust did a victory dance before he and Reaction took over the entire brain. Somewhere in the back, behind the filing cabinets, Consciousness and Common Sense protested faintly, but they were forgotten entirely when Remus's head crashed into Sirius'...

END OF CHAPTER... To the reviewers.... No, I'm just JOKING. I was going to end the chapter here, but then I realized how short it was, and that it's Sunday. So onward!

Remus and Sirius' lips connected and Sirius began kissing Remus tentatively until Remus responded. The kiss became deeper and deeper until Remus ran his tongue along Sirius' bottom lip. Then their tongues continued the battle their lips had started. Sirius finally pushed his tongue past Remus' and explored the other boy's mouth. When they drew apart for breath, their brain's kicked in, and they scrambled apart.

Remus' Brain

Common Sense was in a rage, and he beat Lust into a filing cabinet, while Consciousness scrambled for something to say. Anything. Anything at all.

Sirius' Brain

Common Sense threw a temper tantrum, being that he was at least half the size of most of the mini-Siriuses and the other half of his size had seemed to make Lust grow to nearly double the size of the other mini-Siriuses. Consciousness ignored Common Sense, and tried to figure out what the hello he could say to fix this bloody mess.

As both Sirius and Remus sat on opposite sides of the hallway, a batty Ravenclaw... something Lovegood ran by shouting about a Nargle trying to take away his Common Sense. The boys raised eyebrows, and were about to say a few extremely rude things to try and change the topic from the tension the previous one had held when a Nargle of all Merlin forsaken thing flew by throwing powder on the two of them.

The mini-Remuses and the mini-Siriuses leapt from their brains and into real life. Suddenly, there were twenty more people in the hallway.

THE REAL END

A/N: This is Lily here, I had some trouble with this chapter, and sorry it's a little short, but this should give Jp some great ideas. I know I'm already planning some crazy stuff to happen. In advance, I'd like to say that yes, that was Luna Lovegood's dad.