Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Shots in the Dark ❯ TGD 1-B ( Chapter 20 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted 
characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I 
make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and 
any original characters created by me herein. The following 
was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for 
sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big. 
 
For the love of all, vote on the poll!  Stop being lazy and 
vote people! 
 
The Goddess Dilemma, Gold Edition 
 
By: Driver Jim Ohki 
 
*Day Two* 
 
Life in the Tendo residence had permanently changed.  Without 
Genma around to disturb the sleep of others, many had slept in 
for the first time since the arrival of the Saotomes.  
Breakfast was a sorted affair; Kasumi was busy constantly 
creating food for consumption by somebody.  With the 
assistance of a couple of the others present, including Ranma 
who had a spontaneous wanting to help, the dishes were clean 
and put away in record time.  The groups mingled, having 
decided that the house interior was a good neutral ground. 
 
The phone rang, and Nodoka being herself answered it.  She was 
most surprised by WHO was calling, however. 
 
“Moshi moshi, Tendo residence,†she said into the receiver. 
 
“Nodoka, how are you?†asked an older male voice on the other 
end.  She could hear the smile over the phone by the tone of 
the voice. 
 
“Dad?†was said with surprise.  It was not the secret of the 
century that Nodoka and her ‘father’ werenâ€&trade ;t on speaking terms 
of late. 
 
“Yes dear, it’s me,†he replied, the mirth still present in 
his voice.  â€œIs my grandson available?†
 
“C er . . . certainly,†stuttered Nodoka, as she carefully set 
the receiver down so not to drop it.  Then she quite literally 
flew out of the house, bowling over the entire assembly of 
women that were admiring her son as he performed a new kata.  
He saw her coming, and prepared for a collision.  She did 
indeed hit him, but Ranma leaned left and twirled his mother 
around to prevent either of them from falling. 
 
“Mom, what is it?†asked a concerned Ranma, noticing the wild 

---

look in his mother’s eyes. 
 
“ Your grandfather would like to talk to you,†she said in a 
rush, having regained her footing to pull Ranma into the house 
at top speed.  He had a surprised look on his face at the news 
that not only was at least one of his grandparents alive, but 
wanted to talk to him. 
 
“Hello?†carefully asked Ranma into the phone, as Nodoka 
bounced around in the background.  Too bad at this point a 
fight of sorts had broken out on the other end of the line. 
 
“LET GO!†shouted one female voice, while another could be 
heard in the background crying. 
 
“YOU LET GO, YOU MONSTER WOMAN!†roared yet another female. 
 
“Please don’t fight,†said a female child. 
 
“I was on the phone first,†spoke an older male voice, “please 
give it back.†
 
“STOP IT RIGHT NOW!†reverberated not only through the house 
on the other end of the line, but the Tendo residence as well.  
This voice was of a younger male, somewhere around Ranma’s age 
if he guessed correctly.  And it was faintly familiar as well.  
But it had been at least thirteen years since that voice was 
heard.  There was a rustle of cloth on the other end of the 
phone, followed by a “Hello?  Anybody there?†
 
“ This is Ranma Saotome,†said the boy, “With whom am I 
speaking?†
 
â€&oelig ;Ranma, good to hear from you.  This is your grandfather, 
Katsuhito Masaki.†
 
“Grandpa?&acir c;€ asked Ranma as his audience from outside literally 
crowded in to listen to the conversation.  They were 
unprepared for a snort from the boy, followed by, “Yeah right.  
Pops told me over and over again that all of my grandparents 
were dead.†
 
“Clearly, that is not the case,†calmly responded Katsuhito, 
“In fact, I want you to talk to your uncle.  Noboyuki, say 
hello to your nephew Ranma.†
 
There was a shuffling on the other end of the phone, followed 
by what sounded like the biggest nerd ever talking.  Oh wait, 
that would be one of the bigger Hentai’s talking. 
 
â€&oel ig;Ranma!  Are you there?†asked Noboyuki, who could practically 

---

be heard jumping in place while waiting for the answer.  Ranma 
looked cock-eyed at the phone, not quite understanding why he 
was getting such a reaction from the man on the other end of 
the line. 
 
“Yeah, whadoya want?†responded Ranma very carefully, not 
wanting to be set up for anymore fiancées or trouble.  Taking 
a look around him reminded the boy that he had enough 
problems, especially with the outfits of the people from the 
past.  While he was used to short Chinese style dresses, the 
black number on Xianghua with matching black thigh-high boots 
nearly caused a nosebleed.  After all, he DID have a nice view 
since she had one leg propped up on a randomly appearing chair 
. . . to prevent cramping.  â€˜Hmmm, commando . . .’ thought 
Ranma, while waiting for the person on the other end to stop 
with the hysterics. 
 
“Ranma, it is you!†exclaimed Noboyuki, “We had thought that 
no good brother of mine would have gotten you killed.  Oh 
thank heavens!†
 
“Wait a minute,†said Ranma, “You’re my dad’s brother?† The 
aura of anger reappeared in the room, mostly from the NWC.  If 
Genma had a brother, would he be as bad as the panda man 
himself? 
 
Sounds of another scuffle broke out on the phone, accompanied 
by lots of shouting . . . female shouting.  To see if the 
readers pay attention to the Tenchi OAV’s, guess who said 
what. 
 
“I need the phone!†
 
“Please don’t fight!†
 
â&e uro;œHow rude!†
 
“Children these days.†
 
“Who are you talking to father?†
 
“MIYA!!&aci rc;€ 
 
That last one did it.  While Ranma could handle simultaneous 
shouting and such nonsense from women, the one thing he feared 
the most had just spoken. 
 
“C-C-C-C-cat!†exclaimed Ranma, as he leaped to the ceiling.  
Even over the phone, the sounds of the beast would and could 
scare the living shit outta him.  The phone was dropped to 
Nodoka, who tried to make sense of the gibberish coming from 

---

the phone.  She caught partial pieces of the bedlam on the 
other end, until what sounded like a young man shouted for the 
fighting to stop again.  Instant silence, followed by said 
young man speaking into the phone. 
 
“Who is this?†
 
“This is Nodoka Saotome,†she said, noting the sharp intake of 
breath, “And whom am I speaking with?†
 
“SAOTOM E!†roared the voice, “Wait . . . Nodoka?  As in 
Ranma’s mother Nodoka?†
 
“Yes,â&e uro; she replied, losing patience with the young man on the 
other end of the phone.  â€œThis is the last time I shall ask:  
Who am I talking to?†
 
“My name is Tenchi,†he responded, “Sorry about not giving you 
my name earlier, but . . .†He was interrupted by somebody on 
his end of the line.  â€œOh . . . okay, grandpa.† Now directly 
speaking to Nodoka, he said, “Is Ranma there?  We heard his 
screaming something about a cat and wanted to make sure he was 
all right.†
 
By this point, Ranma had come down from the ceiling, making a 
two point landing.  He was watching his mother, to determine 
if he should get back on the phone or not.  Noticing the 
subtle come here finger waggle, he sauntered back over to her.  
He carefully took the receiver from her grasp, and slowly 
moved it to his head. 
 
“What’s going on here?†demanded a new voice, from right next 
to Ranma’s ear.  No, the phone receiver had yet to be placed 
there, so it came as such a surprise when the phone sprouted a 
head.  Said head (ooh, a rhyme) had wild cyan hair, going 
every which way as it tapered towards the back.  Faint ‘crab 
legs’ of hair came from behind the face, obscuring the ears.  
Ooh, yeah . . . let’s not forget the yellow cat slit eyes. 
 
Ranma nearly screamed in soprano when the phone had sprouted 
the head, let alone when it began to talk.  That had simply 
come out as a “GAH!!†as the phone receiver was thrown across 
the room.  Then he caught sight of her eyes . . . 
 
“AAAGGGHHH!!!†faded off in the distance as Ranma made a break 
for it.  Those eyes belonged to the demons of lore, one of 
three things that could actually terrify Ranma Saotome.  In 
his rush to vacate the scene, he had quite literally scooped 
nearly every female present into his wake. 
 
The remaining few at the Tendo Dojo, including the mystery 

---

head, could only blink-blink at the retreating back of the 
boy. 
 
“And he defeated Nightmare?†asked Kilik of Siegfried, who was 
the most bewildered of the situation. 
 
“Must have been a fluke,†he replied, not wanting to take his 
eyes off of the direction Ranma had gone.  He smirked at a 
hidden thought, which confused the others present.  Being in 
rare form today, Siegfried decided to enlighten those present 
before they ran off after the boy. 
 
“There is a small part of me that feels sorry for that boy,†
he told the others as he had a seat.  â€œAfter all, Cassandra is 
not . . . male friendly.†
 
THUD! 
  “Please wait for me to finish before falling down.  Now then, 
if he survives the gauntlet known as Cassandra, Xianghua will 
have a thing or seven hundred to say.†
 
THUD! 
 
Th e man formerly known as Nightmare paused to pointedly look 
at the others who apparently were wearing greased socks on 
hardwood floors.  They just couldn’t stay standing . . . or 
seated.  Once those remaining were situated properly, even 
that head in the phone, he restarted his thought. 
 
“Xianghua is by nature a flirt, as is apparent by her attire,†
he explained, “But beyond that, nobody truly knows.  Well, a 
couple of us might know, but have been sworn to secrecy with 
the promise of death . . .†he was staring at Kilik, who was 
finding something on the floor interesting.  â€œOh yes,†resumed 
the once Azure Knight, “I know all about that.  But it is not 
the here or now.  If Xianghua or Cassandra don’t take him 
apart, Taki most certainly will.†
 
“Why is that?†asked Nodoka, “My son is many things, but even 
with his foot-in-mouth disease acquired from his father he 
tries to treat all women with respect, no matter what they 
have done to him.  He may fire off insults, but as I have seen 
since I found him, Ranma has a hard time expressing how he 
feels unless he is happy . . . or angry.  His father was a 
partial success with Ranma, but he left his son’s emotional 
development behind with me the day I let him leave with my boy 
. . .†
 
“Shit,†swore Kilik, drawing a few evil looks, “That would 
mean that when they get a glimpse into the complexities in 

---

that boy’s mind . . .†
 
THUD! 
 
That ’s right, everybody fell over again.  Even those on the 
other end of the still active phone fell over, as the mystery 
head was doing a wonderful job with relaying what was going 
on.  This may very well be one part of the formula to being a 
chick magnet . . . being honest, even if it tends to go into 
the brutal range from time to time.  After all, those familiar 
with Ranma know that he is a horrible liar.  Sure, he bends 
the truth from time to time to minimize the hurt he would feel 
later, but it never even went into the white lie range. 
 
That and the fact that the lucky bastard doesn’t even have to 
shave to look good . . . 
 
“OH HAPPY DAY!†shouted Soun as he returned from upstairs, 
followed two seconds later by the lake he had created by 
crying ‘water falling’ down the stairs. 
 
“Huh?†was repeated in stereo. 
 
“The schools have been joined!†wailed Soun, as he bounced 
about the room.  This had the adverse effect of hosing 
everybody present.  Once secured on the floor with ninety feet 
of rope, from where it came from unknown, those present stared 
at the man behaving like a two year old. 
 
“What are you rambling about?†demanded Nodoka, itching for 
the blade that she had given Ranma.  Soun was near Genma on 
her least favorite people list, and just talking to the train 
wreck that the Tendo patriarch was almost gave her a migraine. 
 
With an amazing feat of strength, mostly from something happy 
happening to his daughters,  the rope binding the hyperactive 
meat-head on the floor went flying across the room in various 
pieces.  Soun was lost to all reasoning, all sanity as he 
started dancing around the house again.  Akane, being one of a 
few females left in the Tendo house, was trying her best to 
hide from the embarrassment caused by her father.  That was 
until he dropped a sheet of paper in his bouncing about, which 
drifted right into her face. 
 
THWOK 
 
â€&o elig;Huh?  What’s this?†she asked of the room, knowing that there 
would be no response since the only person that did know was . 
. . doing the Macarena?  And horribly, to boot.  Deciding to 
ignore the flailing of her father, Akane read what he had 
dropped and shit a brick. 

---

 
“I’L L KILL HIM!†she roared, making a break for the door.  She 
didn’t get very far however since she tripped over Ivy, who 
had tried her hardest to get out of the way.  As both went 
down in a tumble of arms and legs, the piece of paper floated 
over to the head in the phone, who thought the situation was 
one of the funniest she had ever seen. 
 
“Eh?  What have we here?†she asked, which drew the attention 
of those present onto the document.  It had landed face up, 
and was easily readable.  Nodoka, Siegfried, Kilik, Maxi, 
Yunsung, Ivy after she got out from under the pressure cooker 
known as Akane, Lucia and Belldandy crowded around the 
document, reading it. 
 
MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE. 
 
That was what was across the top of the paper, getting a few 
raised eyebrows in confusion.  Not from the title of the 
document.  No, that would make this fic boring as all get if a 
simple title like that caused confusion.  It was the names 
listed after the title that had earned the look.  And before 
looking down there, remember this is NOT a serious fic.  I am 
bizarre, and so are my fics. 
 
As they watched, the simple piece of paper turned into a 
holographic display, making the small print big for the group 
now gawking at what was probably the most bizarre thing they 
had ever witnessed. 
 
HUSBAND: Ranma Saotome (Aqua transsexual, 
human/god/demon/alien hybrid (File CLASSIFIED)) 
 
Wife One: Nabiki Tendo (Mercenary, human (File Viewable)) 
 
Wife Two: Kasumi Tendo (Peacemaker, human (File Viewable)) 
 
Wife Three: Ukyo Kuonji (Cook, human/god hybrid (potential 
unknown) (File Viewable)) 
 
Wife Four: Xian Pu A.K.A Shampoo (Cook, Warrior, human/demon 
hybrid (potential unknown) (File Viewable)) 
 
Wife Five: Urd Odinsdotter (Goddess, troublemaker, god/demon 
hybrid (DANGER!  DANGER!  File Viewable)) 
 
Wife Six: Peorth Christchild (Goddess, French, goddess (File 
Viewable)) 
 
Wife Seven: Hild Demonsqueen (Demon Overlord, Yin to the Yang, 
unknown origins (File CLASSIFIED)) 

---

 
Wife Eight: (Blank until decision is made by family listed) 
 
“Oh, and Tenchi thinks he has it rough,†quipped the head in 
the phone, returning those present to . . . well, the present.  
People were edging away from Nodoka, who had stars in her eyes 
and was mumbling about grandchildren.  When everybody face 
vaulted, the signature of the person who authorized such a . . 
. convoluted thing was seen.  And thus began the biggest 
‘Crouch of the Wild Tiger’ in history. 
 
After all, you do NOT insult Kami-sama, no matter how bizarre 
the situation gets.  The Almighty has his reasons for doing 
something like this.  It would take time for them to be known, 
like if the children of such a large relationship would grow 
up to pilot giant organic robots or something else as 
farfetched. 
 
Still, Kami-sama had to drive his point home.  So with a small 
charge in it, he sent forth a lightning bolt. 
 
ZZAAPP!! 
 
THUD!&nbs p;
 
And the house was quiet for some time to come, since everybody 
was unconscious.  Even Belldandy, who had had an impure 
thought concerning the . . . arrangement, so the only person 
that could translate the message accompanying the bolt was out 
like a light. 
 
Meanwhile, in Juuban . . . 
 
“MOON TIARA MAGIC!†
 
“Jesus Christ, they won’t stop!†complained Ranma as he dodged 
another of those magic attacks.  The two who did attempt to 
physically fight him found nothing but air and on occasion a 
fiancée with a surprise.  Urd, Peorth and Hild were staying 
out of it, even though they were laughing at the ridiculous 
outfits the ‘Sailor Scouts’ were wearing. 
 
“Would you stand still and die already?†quipped one of the 
brunette attackers, one who did have some skill in the Art.  
What was her equally ridiculous name again . . . Jupiter?  Or 
Stupider?  Bah, unimportant detail.  Fight now, if somebody 
left conscious talk later. 
 
“VENUS LOVE ME CHAIN!†
 
“Fuck off and die!†returned Ranma, a vein appearing on his 

---

forehead.  This caused more than a few of the people around 
him to back off with a sweat drop on the back of their heads.  
As the chain of hearts came within range, Ranma simply batted 
it away, ironically tying up the one known as Sailor Moon. 
 
“Enough of this,†growled Cassandra, who while laughing 
internally at the stupidity of the girls attacking the group 
simply because they had dropped out of warp right next to 
them, was getting tired of NOT trying to kill the opponent 
like the old days.  She blurred into motion, bowling through 
these so-called protectors of love and justice. 
 
By a twist of fate, the Scouts had been grouped together after 
that attack, apparently to try a team attack on somebody since 
individual attacks weren’t working.  Ah, but the joys of 
having a magic user . . . 
 
“Here I go!†shouted Karin, while twisting left to right to 
left, finishing with her left hand pointed at the Scouts.  The 
magic sensitive people could feel the power of a demon in use, 
then they saw the effect of said magic.  Starting at Karin’s 
feet to the Scouts was what appeared to be rotten bone, one on 
each side spaced five feet apart.  Then the attack hit the 
Scouts, splitting into ten bones, closing like a trap on all 
of the Scouts. 
 
“Ouch,†groaned a Scout with green hair, who was replaying the 
attack in her mind.  While it was ONE attack, it had hit her 
and her allies four times.  And the evil they felt when the 
attack hit was unbelievable. 
 
The entire purpose of the attack was to cause damage.  
However, crickets could be heard chirping once the dust had 
settled.  Well, silence following an “ACK!†sound, usually 
indicative of a naked or exposed girl in the vicinity of one 
Ranma Saotome.  The entire group of people with Ranma tried 
their best to ignore the now under clothed Scouts. 
 
“How was I supposed to know that would happen?†nearly cried 
Karin, who had fallen to her knees.  The crests she still 
carried had apparently been corrupted by the Master of 
Perverts.  The last time she had used the attack, known as 
Evil Born, it had NOT shredded specific areas of clothing. 
 
“Donâ€&trad e;t worry about it,†said Taki, who had appeared from 
nowhere, “What counts is that they don’t seem to be aware of 
their predicament yet.  They are highly confused about us and 
our intentions.  All we did was defend ourselves when they 
attacked.†
 
Insert a draft here. 

---

 
The Scouts looked down, and as one screamed.  Not just a 
scream of embarrassment, but one of bloody murder and 
sacrilege.  After all, Ranma did get a view.  When he heard 
the pitch of the scream, Ranma reengaged the warp drive back 
to Nerima, making sure to grab his followers . . . and would 
be followers . . . and general future potential friends . . . 
ugh, fic outta control!  Mayday!  She’s goin’ down! 
 
Back to Nerima, land of psychos . . . 
 
The head in the phone was gone, after making sure it was hung 
up.  Of course, because of a certain mental link to a certain 
insane scientist/goddess, the spatial coordinates of the Tendo 
house were known.  But enough of that, that group will make an 
appearance later.  Better than just a reference, anyway.  
Unlike the Sailor Scouts, who will NOT ever be appearing 
again. 
 
Those remaining were busy gawking at the holographic document 
still present in the living room.  Even Soun had no idea that 
it could do that.  Small conversations would burst forth from 
time to time, interrupting the silence.  The noise was quickly 
shot down by the youngest Tendo daughter, who would growl at 
anybody who spoke of the . . . contraption that was out to 
ruin her life.  After all, it’s always Akane, Akane, Akane! 
 
Not in this fic. 
 
BLAM 
 
And that would herald the return of Ranma, King of Weirdness! 
 
SMASH, OWIE 
 
Ranma came into the living room at warp seven point five, 
effectively running over Akane who wouldn’t move since she was 
pissed off at the pig-tailed man.  Of course, when he did stop 
those caught in his wake, arms, hair, and the sisters Tendo 
attached to his midsection lost their momentum. 
 
CRASH 
 
And on top of Akane they fell, creating a massive twelve body 
pile-up. 
 
The males in the house could only blink-blink, before 
guffawing on the floor.  They had listened to Akane go on and 
on about how the world was in her orbit for the last thirty 
minutes, only to have Ranma enter her orbit like an asteroid 
and crash onto planet Akane, spreading the joys of female to 

---

female contact for all to see. 
 
This of course confused Ranma.  Even though he had had many 
offers during the past few years to partake in the pleasures 
of the female flesh, even with the curse, he had no idea what 
it would look like . . . 
 
Okay, for those that are thoroughly confused, I will attempt 
to explain this scene.  What we have here is a classic case of 
thermal expansion coupled with extreme velocities plus no 
protection from air resistance.  Well, three DID have the 
option to provide said protection but chose not to for 
entertainment purposes. 
 
Too bad those three just noticed the hologram . . . 
 
Anyway, back to the subject at hand.  When traveling at 
excessive speeds, on a mild day, say around sixty-five degrees 
Fahrenheit, with no protection from the air, you get static 
friction.  A good example would be opening a car window at 
seventy miles an hour on the freeway.  Imagine if you will, 
accelerating to a hundred miles an hour.  The friction gets 
worse. 
 
Moving faster than the sound barrier with only the object 
moving using ki to shield himself from the wind left something 
to be desired . . . for certain people. 
 
Can we say lack of proper clothing?  Yes, we can.  While 
Ranma’s ki had created a vacuum, effectively bringing the 
women with him with no effort, it did not shield them from the 
wind . . . and thus, we have the solution to our problem in 
the form of eleven mostly naked women. 
 
“D’OH!&ac irc;€ exclaimed Ranma, once he understood what some of the 
guys at his old school had been talking about with Akane being 
a lesbian. 
 
Of course, she could have been red from anger, but it was hard 
to see past Ukyo’s bare bottom mere inches from her face.  
Ooh, look . . . breasts.  Lots of exposed breasts, that happen 
to be very nice indeed. 
 
“That was fun Ranma!†cheered Kasumi, who was on the top of 
the dog pile . . . thus she missed most of the entire 
situation. 
 
“Is it drafty in here, or is it just me?†wondered Nabiki, who 
looked perplexed as to why there was a draft.  The walls were 
intact, except for Ranma’s entry point.  The doors and windows 
were shut.  Then she felt it when Cassandra moved. 

---

 
Skin to skin contact, in an area that shouldn’t be touched by 
an unauthorized user.  After leaping to the ceiling, which had 
the effect of scattering the pile of bodies about the living 
room, Nabiki realized the predicament that was shared amongst 
them all . . . except for the Goddesses and Demon that were 
laughing at the scene. 
 
All that laughing stopped immediately when Akane leapt to her 
feet in righteous anger, battle aura flared to maximum. 
 
“RANMA, YOU PERVERT!†she screamed, charging at him with the 
Mallet of Doom pulled back for a vicious uppercut.  Ranma 
raised an eyebrow at her, wondering if it was all that bad.  
Just because the guerilla was jealous of her own sisters for 
having better looks than her, he wisely thought to avoid the 
swing.  This had the adverse effect of making Akane fall down, 
since her balance was lost at the lack of contact that was 
expected. 
 
THUD! 
 
As Akane went down, Ranma caught sight of the holographic page 
displaying his latest course change in life.  He felt a 
magical discharge while reading and rereading the display, and 
noticed when the women with him had crowded around that they 
were clothed again. 
 
Eyebrows to the sky!  Ranma, Kasumi, Nabiki, Ukyo, Shampoo 
(who had been mysteriously silent), Cassandra, Taki, Xianghua, 
Urd, Peorth, Hild and Karin all had at least one eyebrow 
raised in confusion.  Most of them, for seeing a technology 
that wasn’t even dreamed of in their time was part of it.  For 
all of them, it was a multiple marriage authorized by Kami-
sama himself that blew their mind. 
 
“Well, this is news to me,†quipped Ranma, taking it in stride 
as usual.  That in itself nearly caused a face vault, but the 
message being read by Urd and Peorth would definitely leave 
some ripples in the water.  They quietly talked to Belldandy 
and Hild, confirming that what their eyes had told them was 
indeed there.  Not that they had any doubt in Kami-sama, but 
still when things go off the radar like this it’s good to have 
confirmation. 
 
“Ranma ,†began Urd, “We have . . . news for you.  While we 
cannot go into excessive detail about this marriage 
certificate from on high, we have been asked to relay a 
message to you.  It’s really more like a greeting, and 
honestly it confuses me.†
 

---

Ranma started waving his hands side to side, before he went 
down in a heap.  That’s right folks, Akane the Terrible had 
risen from her position on the floor and clobbered Ranma . . . 
when he wasn’t looking.  She had a satisfied smirk on her 
face, even with death glares coming from various places around 
the room.  Not being dense to the situation, she spoke up. 
 
“Pervert.  You just got what you deserved for doing that 
perverted move and exposing my sisters.  I bet Wonderslut over 
there was going to say that you are going straight to hell for 
eternity!  HA!†
 
BAM!  THWOK! 
 
“WRONG!â&eur o; exclaimed Ranma, after belting Akane while she was 
off in lala land, fantasizing about being free of the freak.  
Mind you, he didn’t hit her with the force he normally hits 
things, like Ryoga.  He just nudged her, even though it had 
enough force to launch Akane out the back door and into the 
koi pond.  Looking around at more than a few surprised faces, 
he elaborated on the situation. 
 
“She hit me while my back was turned,†said Ranma, “And now we 
are even.  Although she was looking right at me, in her mind 
she was on her own world.  I have had enough of being walked 
on by her and that was the last straw.  If she was one-one 
thousandth the martial artist she claims to be, she should 
have either A.) given me a challenge letter or B.) given me 
advanced notice as to her attack so I could defend myself.  
She’s gonna end up killing somebody one of these days if she 
doesn’t stop with the smash first ask questions never 
attitude.†
 
&acir c;€œShe really shouldn’t have done that,†intoned Kasumi, while 
turning a slight frown at Ranma, “Just the same as you 
shouldn’t have retaliated. Although, it was deserved.†
 
“Ranma,& acirc;€ spoke Urd, drawing the conversation back onto herself 
before some other bizarre thing happened, “Kami-sama sent a 
message for you. He says ‘Welcome to the family son. We shall 
meet soon’.†
 
â€&o elig;ARGH!†screamed Akane from outside the house after she 
surfaced in the koi pond.  The scream was continuous as she 
ran inside the house in search of her target, Ranma.  However, 
she was unprepared to find him ignoring her in favor of 
solving the mystery of the cube. 
 
Immediately after sending the wayward Tendo daughter out the 
back door into the pond, Ranma had turned around to hear the 
announcement from Urd.  While he had heard her, his line of 

---

sight was on something else.  Hanging from Karin’s neck was a 
cross that looked like it might be the key to the lock on the 
cube. 
 
Of course, his gaze was misunderstood since the cross, while 
on the outside of her shirt, was hanging between Karin’s 
breasts.  But before the explosion of the usual 
misunderstanding could happen, he spoke. 
 
“May I see that?†Ranma asked, indicating the cross.  Karin 
looked down and noticed for the first time that the cross 
wasn’t tucked safely away inside her shirt.  Looking back up, 
seeing Ranma indicate the lock on the cube, spurred her into 
removing it from her neck. 
 
“Please be careful with it,†she said in a quiet tone, “Yuri 
gave me this cross, and it’s all I have left of him.†
 
Nodding in understanding, Ranma held the cross with his index 
finger and thumb just under the cross tier.  While doing that, 
he turned the cube so that the lock was facing upwards and 
gently inserted the key.  It fit like a glove, and since it 
was not fully recessed, he was able to attempt to turn it.  
While trying going to the left had no result, going to the 
right returned dividends when the lock moved on its own after 
a gentle nudge.  Making sure not to drop the cube in surprise, 
he set it down on the floor and stepped back to see what would 
happen. 
 
It’s didn’t take long, for once the lock stopped turning the 
sides opened and folded flat.  Nobody present was prepared for 
when the cube finished opening, a door with no frame appeared 
in the middle of the living room.  Once the shock of that wore 
off, they heard Karin mumble something about ’familiar’ before 
she stepped up and opened it.  Ranma, feeling a sense of dread 
and foreboding, immediately followed. 
 
Nobody else had the chance to move after that, for once Ranma 
entered the door it slammed shut. 
 
“Well,â&eu ro; said an amused Hild, “that was certainly interesting.  
Can‘t wait to see what happens next.  Tea anyone?†
 
“Tha t’s my line,†whined Kasumi, while she headed into the 
kitchen to get the tea service. 
 
--(Beyond the door)-- 
 
“I knew it,†declared Karin to her only audience.  Both she 
and Ranma took in the sights of this realm.  It was most 
certainly bleak, with a near constant moaning noise coming 

---

from everywhere at once.  There were three doors in this 
‘foyer’, each made of stone; one to the left, one straight 
ahead and the last one to the right.  The floor tiles looked 
like gravestone markers, which unnerved Ranma. 
 
“What is this place?†he wondered, while trying his best to 
learn how to fly.  It was highly unnerving to be walking on 
the markers of long dead and forgotten people . . . or is that 
demons?  The dialect used on the tombstones was unreadable to 
Ranma, a long dead language that would take years to 
translate. 
 
“Yuri called this place the Graveyard,†answered Karin, 
noticing that Ranma was extra fidgety in concern to the floor 
tiles.  â€œHow it can exist with him being dead is beyond 
anything I could think of.†
 
“Karin . . .†whispered a voice from everywhere and nowhere, 
followed by the sounds of the door straight ahead opening.  
Both looked up and saw the invitation to enter deeper into the 
realm.  With sidelong glances at each other, both decided to 
proceed into the next area.  This area was as bleak as the 
last, but only had two doors again made out of stone.  Ranma 
was on full alert after entering this place, since he could 
now feel a presence.  It didn’t feel like an evil spirit or 
anything along those lines.  Instead it was more of a sad 
soul, a warrior’s spirit, wanting to get its last regret out 
before moving through Valhalla to Einherjar. 
 
The door on the left opened on its own, and Karin began to get 
nervous.  This was the second time she had entered that door, 
and she knew what lay beyond . . . a mirror realm, similar to 
a place visited by Yuri in his travels. 
 
Following immediately behind her, while trying not to look 
down at the shapely posterior wiggling as she walked, Ranma 
felt that presence get much stronger.  He came even with her 
after passing through the latest door and the two had a 
conversation without words.  With a simple nod of the head, 
both headed through the mirror realm. 
 
“Karin . . .†came the voice again, this time much stronger 
than before.  She led the way, with Ranma following close 
behind, through what looked like an office to a room that was 
set up for a demonic summoning.  Burning candles surrounded a 
pentagram on the floor, in front of a large mirror.  Ranma 
took his eyes off the mirror for no more than two seconds when 
he heard Karin gasp.  Snapping his head around to look at the 
mirror again, he saw what had made her gasp. 
 
In the mirror was not their reflection.  Standing before them 

---

was Yuri Hyuga. 
 
--(Waking World)-- 
 
The sounds of a jackhammer reverberated throughout the 
neighborhood as Akane, in a fit of rage and impishness, 
decided to take it upon herself to remove the door from the 
middle of the living room.  Nobody dared to stop her, as the 
last attempt resulted in a demolished wall.  Not from a person 
flying through it, but from Akane losing control of the sixty 
pound hammer. 
 
It danced on autopilot, since Akane had locked the trigger in 
the ‘on’ position.  Everybody had dove for cover as the 
contraption that imitated the Baksai Tenketsu waltzed through 
the couch, the table, Urd’s foot, then came to a rest after 
the debris falling from the wall smacked the trigger. 
 
Akane ignored Urd’s blatant abuse of the American language 
(censored to keep the lower rating), picked up the hammer and 
started again.  The cube and cross had blended in with the 
floor, creating an impenetrable shield in the process just in 
case some fool got the wrong idea to attempt removal with 
somebody inside. 
 
And here we have The Fool, Akane Tendo!  Oh look, so pissed 
off at the failure to beat the door out of her house, she’s 
breaking out explosives. 
 
“GODDAMNIT!â&euro ; she swore, failing to notice the divine guests 
twinge at that particular expletive.  The Demon Queen, 
however, was rolling around on the floor moaning in ecstasy 
since all of the negative emotions coming from one person 
acted like a hundred fold aphrodisiac. 
 
Of course, Akane the Almighty Fucktard missed that too.  
Nabiki and Kasumi tried to at least move Hild into a bedroom 
for privacy reasons, and had found themselves being . . . 
being . . . found Hild’s hands going into places they 
shouldn’t have.  Even if they were married, nobody had had the 
opportunity to discuss that type of contact.  Not like either 
of the elder sisters Tendo would acknowledge that the contact 
felt good.  But I digress, time to give Uber-Bitch more air 
time. 
 
“FIRE IN THE HOLE!†shouted Akane, trying to make use of what 
was left of the couch for shelter.  The equivalent of a half-
block of C4 detonated, blowing the walls off the lower floor 
and launching a few people out said missing walls. 
 
“CRAZY BITCH!†screamed the natives, deciding that now would 

---

be a good time to retreat and regroup.  The group from the 
past, minus a now unconscious Lucia, figured that now is a 
good time to do some exploring.  Might as well see what has 
happened since their time passed. 
 
Hild had her seventh orgasm, making what was left of the house 
shudder and creak in protest to the shear amount of abuse it 
had received in the last ten minutes. 
 
“War counsel,†declared Nabiki, dragging the people from their 
time, the divine and the one unconscious paperweight into the 
remarkably untouched dojo.  Yes, it’s time to give some NORMAL 
PEOPLE (GASP!) air time. 
 
Once everybody was situated, the glances began.  Even though 
Nabiki had called a war counsel, she seemed to not have 
violent ideals. 
 
“My kitchen . . .†moaned Kasumi, as she surveyed the damage 
from the safety of the dojo.  A sense of dread, along with a 
chill, went up, down and sideways across the spinal columns of 
those present.  They followed her gaze, taking note of the 
refrigerator laying upside-down in the koi pond.  Oh look, 
there’s a pot hanging from a tree. 
 
DUN-DUN-DUN! 
 
Silence reigned supreme for all of five seconds as the 
enormity of the destruction was digested by the minds of those 
looking at the spectacle that was created by the youngest 
Tendo sister. 
 
“Ho boy,†spoke Xian Pu, reminding a few people that she WAS 
there.  â€œThis no good.  Kitchen Destroyer destroy whole house.  
She out of control.†
 
“Really?  What was your first clue?†chimed in Ukyo. 
 
The war counsel broke down into two groups of arguments.  In 
one corner, there was the elder sisters, Ukyo and Xian.  In-
between bickering amongst themselves, they would bat around 
ideas on how to curtail the untamed beast known as Akane.  In 
another corner on the other end of the dojo was the divine, 
the demon (who was positively glowing and had been teleported 
out of the house), and the still out of sorts Lucia.  They 
were having a tough time coming up with ideas since Hild was 
for Akane to keep going. 
 
All commotion stopped when there was another explosion, 
followed by swearing, and a cry of “MY HOUSE!†
 

---

--( Graveyard, Mirror Castle)-- 
 
“Karin, we were never met to be,†said Yuri, in a flippant 
Ranma tone.  â€œYou knew how I felt about you . . . about Alice 
. . . and in the end, there was no gain.†
 
Ranma was getting irritated with the fuckstick in the mirror.  
He now had a rough idea of what others thought of him after 
watching somebody else talk like that.  All he could hear in 
there was ‘me, me, me, me, me’.  But since this was not of his 
doing, Ranma decided to stay quiet for now. 
 
“Yuri,†sadly asked Karin, “Did your mother ever show you this 
picture?†
 
Both Yuri and Ranma looked at it, read the back, looked at it 
again, looked at Karin, and suffered mental shutdowns due to 
overload. 
 
“But . . . but . . . you . . .†stumbled Ranma, pointing from 
Karin to Yuri and back. 
 
“H-h-h-ow?!†stuttered Yuri, for once at a loss of infuriating 
things to say. 
 
“I don’t know, but time is short,†answered Karin.  For some 
odd reason the whole place would shake and rumble from time to 
time.  â€œYuri, tell us what we need to know.†
 
It was then that the mirror cracked . . . 
 
--(Waking World)-- 
 
“SUCCESS!†cheered Akane as the door was chipped.  Of course, 
it had taken a seven pound block of dynamite to do it, but it 
was progress.  Not noticing that Soun had appeared at random 
to check in on his daughters and son-in-law, she began setting 
up a small nuclear device to finish the job. 
 
Of course, since this is Akane Tendo, miss ‘I-can’t-fark-
anything-up-e ven-without-practice’, the results of the device 
wouldn’t be known for about . . . ten minutes. 
 
Just before detonation, the door spilled its contents out in 
the form of Karin and Ranma.  It then faded out of existence, 
taking the bomb with it, leaving the cross that was quickly 
scooped up by Karin.  When it did detonate, it did so in 
subspace. 
 
At just the right frequency to destroy one half of a certain 
scientist’s lab . . . 

---

 
Back to the present, the Goddesses that were now ‘attached’ to 
the mortal plane for some time decided to lend a hand in 
fixing the house.  More to the point, it was Belldandy since 
she was more in tune with nature and the Wa of any structure. 
 
Of course, Kasumi and her one surviving frying pan had a thing 
or twenty to say to Akane for such reckless behavior.  Nobody 
wanted to intervene on that since Kasumi would turn the pan on 
them. 
 
“Youâ& euro;™re rubbing off on her,†stated Nabiki to Ranma, as he 
watched with total fascination.  This Kasumi he could really 
learn to like.  Not the anger that seemed to have surfaced, 
but the way she moved screamed natural talent in the Art.  
Begin the mental list in Ranma’s mind: one. 
 
“Ranma,†said a timid Karin, catching everybody’s attention.  
This woman was too proud to be THAT timid.  â€œShow them.†
 
“Show us what?†questioned Urd, not liking were this was 
going.  Ranma had yet to fully digest the wish into himself 
yet, which meant that any more ‘upgrades’ could do significant 
harm to the young man. 
 
Ranma struck his ‘traditional pose for fighting’(®©â„&ce nt;), calling 
upon something deep within.  Even the group from the past, 
that had just walked in the door, froze in shock.  After a 
light show that blinded even the divine for two seconds stood 
what could only be described as one of the fallen. 
 
Seraphim. 
 
More precisely, Dark Seraphim. 
 
Ranma’s features had stayed mostly the same.  The only things 
that changed was his height, nails and hair style.  Now 
towering over everybody at seven foot one, he stood there with 
his arms crossed daring somebody, anybody to attack.  His hair 
stood on its own, not unlike an inverted paint brush but more 
like a spiked do.  The ends of his fingers and toes, more 
precisely the nails, turned into jet black claws.  The add-on 
for this look would be the wings. 
 
Black wings with talons in the joints that allowed the wings 
to fold in half, with a shorter set coming out of his tailbone 
area. 
 
“What is thy bidding, my master?†cowed the divine present. 
 
Insert face vault.  Especially since Urd being Urd spoke into 

---

a metal trash can, creating a Darth Urd voice. 
 
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,†said Ukyo, not phased in the least by the 
imposing figure towering over everybody.  At least until she 
took in the last detail.  One that was easily missed since 
there was a crowd blocking a good view of Ranma . . . and his 
current form’s desire to have no clothing on. 
 
“PERVERT!† 
 
“Good, I wanted to test this attack out,†spoke Ranma, 
motioning for Akane to lead the way outside and for anybody 
who wished to watch to stay the HELL away. 
 
Akane launched into her predictable attack pattern, which was 
creating sonic booms.  Ranma dodged, weaved, smacked her face 
with a wing, then took to the skies with a simple declaration. 
 
“For the Child . . .†
 
“SEEK SHELTER!†roared Peorth, as she and her fellow divine 
set up the strongest shield they could.  Even Hild assisted 
with the shield, awed at the shear amount of power that was 
now emanating from Ranma.  The rest of the women present 
simply looked up from behind the barrier, and watched as the 
wings that had formed a cocoon opened and Ranma crossed his 
arms in an X fashion. 
 
Akane shit herself immediately.  She was held in place by some 
magical force, and could feel the pain coming.  Her head was 
free to move, and she knew when to expect the attack as Ranma 
opened his arms wide, fists closed.  Twin energy charges 
appeared, one on each fist.  He then fired them in her 
direction, igniting the power build up from below. 
 
KKKRRROOOOOOMMM!!! 
 
A nd there is one thirty hit attack, with a few surprises 
installed for extra goodliness.  Surprise one: Soun, being 
himself, had stepped in front of Akane to block the attack.  
Two: it didn’t matter, since this attack was inclusive of all 
enemies.  Three: while it didn’t knock either of them out, it 
did leave an abnormality in the form of a continuing combo.  
Meaning that the flying chair, courtesy of Nabiki, just added 
on to the damage already assessed by Ranma/Seraphim. 
 
After watching Soun and Akane fall on top of each other, Ranma 
landed and reverted back to his normal look.  Complete with 
clothes, much to the disappointment of several of the on-
lookers. 
 

---

“WHAT A RUSH!†he exclaimed, drawing more than one surprised 
glance in his direction.  Seeing the glances, he elaborated.  
“The Saotome school is aerial based.  Now that I have the 
knowledge on how to do it, I can fly!†
 
“Great, another ego boost,†quipped Nabiki with a smile.  Nods 
all around to that statement left an incredulous Ranma slack-
jawed. 
 
“Câ€&t rade;mon,†he nearly pleaded, “I’m not that bad, am I?†
 
THUD! 
 
&aci rc;€œBELL!†shouted the Goddesses, Demon, elder Tendo sisters, and 
Ranma.  Noting that it looked like she was asleep, they moved 
her inside to a newly repaired couch. 
 
“Not bad,†said Kasumi, noting the positions of everything.  
“Although now I’m gonna have to relearn where everything is.  
The couch is two inches away from its old location!†
 
THUD!  Yep , face vault. 
 
“Anyway,†said Cassandra, “It’s getting late.  After all that 
excitement, we still have no idea on sleeping arrangements.†
 
Insert blinking owlishly for five seconds. 
 
“Grab a seat,†ordered Nabiki of those present that would be 
staying.  Meaning everybody other than Nodoka and a still out 
of it Soun and Akane.  She noticed that a large portion of the 
female populace, including herself, waited for Ranma to pick a 
spot, which had his back against the front of the couch, then 
they crowded around him.  Bell was shifted into a sleeping 
while sitting position, making room for Urd on her left and 
Peorth on her right.  Hild adopted the top of the couch back, 
laying across it in a way that her feet were behind Urd.  
Kasumi and Nabiki flanked Ranma, the former on his left and 
the latter on his right.  To Kasumi’s left sat Xian, while 
Ukyo sat to the right of Nabiki. 
 
Confused?  I know I am, and I have a LONG way to go . . . 
 
Karin elected to remain standing, but she chose to do so 
behind the couch directly behind Ranma’s location.  Lucia 
groaned at the bizarreness of these people and walked outside 
to chat up Nodoka . . . and probably protect the entry way 
from Soun and Akane. 
 
The Soul Calibur team sat across from Ranma and his flankers, 
but the women took the front row.  Not in close enough 

---

proximity to have legs get tangled, but the quarter moon 
formation did flow around Ranma.  Once everybody was situated, 
meaning Ranma was in the middle of a sea of women, the glances 
started.  Most were in his direction, like he would have any 
say in the matter. 
 
Times change, and Ranma is about to get a one-oh-one course in 
changes. 
 
“What? †he asked of the crowd, noting that the few other men 
present couldn’t decide if they should just bounce out of the 
house or not. 
 
“Ranma,†answered Nabiki, “This house is pretty much yours.  
Yeah, my father’s name is still on it, but it’s only a matter 
of time since he had already declared the schools joined.†
 
“Okay . . .†drawled out the pig-tailed young man.  One random 
thought about water drifted across his mind but was squashed 
for the current predicament.  â€œWho all is staying here 
anyway?†
 
Ooh, bad idea.  In the sense of Ranma’s back-up, in the form 
of the few remaining testosterone plants, got up and walked 
out the back door.  He sweated at their response, noting that 
the number of people present still outnumbered the room count 
in the house.  Even with quadruple bunking, it was going to be 
tight.  And, in his mind anyway, he still had to have a room . 
. . unless they didn’t mind sharing with a short, well-endowed 
redhead. 
 
“We ll, with this,†stated Kasumi as she broke out the holy 
parchment known to Ranma as the CERTIFICATE, “We are going to 
have to renovate the house anyway.  There is just no possible 
way to get eight people into ONE of the bedrooms.†
 
“KASUMI! †shouted Ranma in surprise, “You’re going to go along 
with -†the rest was cut off by a dozen female hands, not 
wanting a repeat of the last time somebody questioned Kami-
sama. 
 
“She does have a point,†said Urd, “we females do need our 
space.  Even if it’s only to be temporary, this house is just 
too small.†
 
“And our magic reserves are just too low,†added Peorth, 
noting that a few of the people present had that look in their 
eyes. 
 
Cue the insane laugh! 
 

---

“Kodachi?!â&e uro; shouted the NWC, searching for the insane gymnast.  
The rest of the females present, including a now wide awake 
and alert Belldandy, looked all around the room to find the 
source of that laugh.  To the Goddesses and Demon, a shared 
thought went through their minds: ‘That sounds familiar.’ 
 
They didn’t have to wait long for the source of the laugh to 
make a grand entrance.  Poppers, confetti, actual fireworks 
went off in the background as the populace took in the sight 
of the apparent ten year old girl cackling madly. 
 
“I have found you at last, my new guinea pig!†exclaimed the 
girl, while attempting to dive into the sea of women to get at 
the target.  Attempted, as in was thwarted by said sea 
standing up from their spots on the floor creating a humanoid 
barrier. 
 
“WASH U!†came a male voice from outside, making the girl pause 
in her attempts to get at Ranma.  This of course bought time 
for everybody to turn their heads in the direction of the 
front door.  There stood a young man, about the same age as 
Ranma, wearing blue jeans with a polo shirt.  Over the shirt 
was a coat with the Masaki family emblem on the left breast. 
 
“TENCHI!†roared Ranma, barreling out of the prison of female 
bodies.  None too politely to boot, either.  In his haste to 
get to his cousin, his hands had more than once found . . . 
certain aspects of the female anatomy to touch, squeeze and 
push. 
 
Instant blushing sea of women!  Especially considering that 
all eyes had been on Ranma when he began his escape to 
freedom.  At least that is what he looked at it as.  Suddenly 
having choices scared Ranma, not that he would admit it.  This 
distraction would be a nice change of pace while he thought. 
 
The cousins met, and immediately took it outside. 
 
Sweat-drops for all, not understanding what it was with Ranma 
and family members getting together just to beat the shit out 
of each other.  Just image what a family reunion would be 
like!  But still, not wanting to miss out on this little get-
together everybody calmly filed out the front door into the 
yard. 
 
“GOOD!&aci rc;€ roared Ranma as he swatted Tenchi’s bokken away for 
the fifth time.  Everybody, from both sides, stood to watch 
the ‘sparring’ match with jaws on the ground.  A large chunk 
of the reason was that Tenchi, who had kept tabs of his 
cousin’s skill level over the years, was already in the 
Juraian Battle Armor.  Ranma, for a new twist, had his own 

---

bokken out and was matching the Juraian Swordplay presented by 
his cousin. 
 
Meaning over by the van were two Juraian nobles with their 
eyes narrowed.  This pure-bred of Earth should NOT know the 
techniques unique to the Royal House. 
 
“C’mon Tenchi,†goaded Ranma, “Crank it up.  I know you can do 
better than this!†
 
“All right,†responded the other young man, “But this is going 
to hurt you more than it will me.†
 
“HA!  BRING IT!†yelled Ranma, ready for anything.  He wasn’t 
ready for Tenchi to jump away, store his bokken, and produce 
three wings of light in front of his person in the span of two 
seconds.  Two of the three wings pulled back over his body, 
while the third transformed into a sword.  Nothing like 
breaking out the Light Hawk Armor/Sword. 
 
Ranma reached inside a subspace storage pocket at produce 
Excalibur.  Then came the next shock as he became Dark 
Seraphim, twirling the sword around to get a feel for the 
weight distribution in this form. 
 
“What the hell . . .?!†demanded Tenchi, only to have a clawed 
hand swish by his head.  Those watching could tell that that 
move was an attention grabber, not actually meant to connect.  
The combatants squared off, swords at the ready. 
 
The tension in the air had became so thick it could be seen.  
Ranma and Tenchi eyeballed each other, not letting any of the 
distractions by either side give the other an opening for 
attack.  Tenchi nearly shit himself when the seven plus foot 
tall demon across from him smirked and took flight. 
 
“MOVE!†shouted both sides at Tenchi, but he was too riveted 
by what was happening to actually follow that command.  Then 
the sword that was in the hands of Ranma appeared directly in 
front of his face, pointed straight down with the flat of the 
blade facing Tenchi.  He finally sprung into action when the 
sword’s eyes opened, with a look of mischief present. 
 
Too late, for Ranma had found a surprise in the subspace 
pocket and the only way to test it out was to awaken the 
Judgment Ring. 
 
What the Judgment Ring is, is just that.  A ring, with hit and 
strike areas.  The number of these areas depends on how many 
maximum hits a person can do.  For example, in the game, Karin 
has a four-hit maximum ring while Yuri has a five-hit maximum 

---

ring.  Some of the rings are spaced nice and even, insuring 
that the strike areas are selected.  Some of the rings are 
downright disgusting, since the spacing is all wrong. 
 
Now then, the only way to score a ‘Ring Perfect’ is to hit the 
strike areas in the ring.  There is a secondary level for 
that, called a ‘Ring No-Miss’.  That means that the hit areas 
were selected, or that in trying for a Ring Perfect, the user 
got too happy and selected too soon.  The hit areas are always 
first, before the strike areas. 
 
What Ranma had found, that could only work on a Judgment Ring 
was a key.  A key that could halt time and allow the Ring to 
continue around.  Of course, the ring was already confused 
since Ranma’s maximum hits could truthfully go into the 
thousands.  So it settled on a ten-hit maximum, plus the key.  
Power over shear number. 
 
A Seventh Key, allowing the ring to continue up to seven times 
around with hit/strike area successes.  Of course, there was 
another key in that storage pocket, but Ranma had a feeling 
he’d better save it for something big.  The Eternal Key was a 
one of a kind item, and it would be foolish to use that up on 
anything less that Saffron-level opponents. 
 
Once Ranma had used the key, the only way out was to 
intentionally miss a hit/strike area.  He was not known to 
throw fights, even sparring sessions, and he truthfully 
shoulda asked Karin about it before experimenting with 
something like the Ring or the Keys. 
 
To everybody but Ranma, time stopped.  Literally, since for 
the Ring to continue seven times it takes about thirty 
seconds.  Then time resumed, and Ranma charged into Tenchi’s 
space and delivered seventy hits at one-eighth of his normal 
power.  That was still enough to lay his cousin out, and 
encourage his entourage to attack. 
 
It was pure bedlam.  Ranma found himself in a bad way after 
having laid his cousin out.  His entourage, that consisted 
mostly of women, didn’t take to the idea that Tenchi was just 
handed his ass.  Even though he had returned to his normal 
state, Ranma was dodging for all he was worth. 
 
Then part of his entourage entered the fray, evening the odds 
a little bit.  Xian and Ukyo came out, weapons swinging.  They 
each caught one of the opposing females off-guard, pulling 
them off of Ranma.  From the house next was the ever quiet 
ninja Taki, stealthily attacking what many would call a bubble 
head. 
 

---

While all of this was happening, the oldest of Tenchi’s group 
had maneuvered himself close to Ranma to truly test his skill.  
Tenchi had already come to, but appeared to be too dazed to do 
anything at the moment.  The old man himself noted who was 
fighting who, in what sector of the yard. 
 
Yard (Front Gate): Ukyo Kuonji versus Ryoko Hakubi 
 
Ukyo was not as hard pressed as she feared she would be with 
this one.  Her opponent had gotten sloppy after about a minute 
of trading blows without much success.  Ukyo’s Battle Spatula 
was holding up to the energy sword of Ryoko, mostly because of 
the sloppiness.  They danced back and forth around the area 
just inside the front gate, neither truly gaining the upper 
hand. 
 
Yard (Dojo): Xian Pu versus Ayeka Jurai 
 
Ah, the match made in heaven.  Nothing like having a young 
woman with purple hair do battle with a young for her species 
woman with violet hair.  Xian was using her trusty bonbori’s 
while Ayeka was doing something that did earn the attention of 
Ranma: using her fists.  It is little known throughout the 
galaxy that Ayeka has always been the scrapper of the family.  
An added bonus was her energy shield, which deflected some of 
the attacks from Xian that would have connected.  Just like 
the battle at the Front Gate, neither combatant was gaining 
the upper hand. 
 
Yard (House - backyard entry): Taki versus Mihoshi Kuramitsu 
 
What the hell is this?  Mihoshi is still on her feet?  Yep, 
and there’s one frustrated Taki to boot.  Mihoshi had donned 
her Galaxy Police battle suit, and was trying to avoid using 
her gun for such a weird fight like this.  Ever thankful that 
her opponent was only trying for a knockout instead of a 
fatality, Mihoshi ducked, dodged, and counter-attacked at 
random.  She too had earned the attention of Ranma, as he 
could tell that once the blonde was focused on something she 
was damned good at it.  Taki on the other hand, was just 
trying to clock the blonde across from her on the nugget and 
hopefully lay her out.  Again, just like the other two 
battles, neither were able to gain the upper hand. 
 
Street (Front Gate): Ranma Saotome versus Katsuhito Masaki. 
 
Before being coerced into the street by the old man, Ranma 
added two more to his mental list.  Well, three if he could 
convince Taki to fight without swords.  Filing that away for 
latter, Ranma took a quick stock of the surroundings before 
returning the attack of the old man.  He noticed the redhead 

---

from before talking to a seventeen year old girl.  The ‘older’ 
girl had twin tails on hair going straight down her back.  
Noting the current threat level from those two as zero, Ranma 
focused completely on the man that claimed to be his 
Grandfather. 
 
Placing Excalibur in subspace, Ranma switched styles back to 
his most familiar turf . . . beating the snot outta the 
opponent.  Both became blurs of arms, legs, and clashing 
energy shields.  They would separate, stare down the other, 
then start all over.  The other three fights ended in a 
stalemate, and the combatants from those battles watched the 
two strongest fighters of the two groups do battle. 
 
Tenchi, being himself, was at the forefront of those watching.  
He knew he still had things to learn from his Grandfather, but 
this was ridiculous.  So hypnotized by the battle was he that 
he failed to notice when they moved in his direction. 
 
“Thatâ€&trade ;s enough!†declared Ranma, noticing that the fight was 
about to ensnare the group of worn-out onlookers.  The fight 
instantly stopped, Ranma in his traditional battle stance and 
Katsuhito in a most bizarre stance.  He was twisted at the 
upper body, with his right arm going under his left leg. 
 
“BWAHAHAHAHA!†laughed the NWC and company, not understanding 
what that stance was supposed to be for.  Quite frankly, even 
the TMC had no idea what that stance was supposed to be.  
Katsuhito was the only one, and he wasn’t about to share his 
secrets. 
 
“How did you do that?†asked Tenchi of Ranma once they both 
could get their laughter under control. 
 
“Do what?†responded Ranma, looking confused since that was 
such a general question. 
 
“All of that!†retorted a despondent Tenchi, wanting to know 
more about the trials and tribulations that his cousin had 
undergone since last word had arrived at the shrine.  That 
last word was the last time Genma had sent word to Nodoka, 
before the Cat Fist training. 
 
“Inside,†ordered Nodoka, who had come outside to see what all 
of the commotion was about.  She glanced around at the few 
neighbors that had stayed put during the melee, and noticed 
them watching with interest.  After all, the resident chaos 
magnet had yet another upgrade . . . and more family members 
crawling out of the woodwork. 
 
Once the assembled mass had gotten inside, Ranma plopped down 

---

at his original spot and noted with a mix of satisfaction and 
fear that the women took their original seats as well.  This 
of course left no room even close to Ranma, keeping the Tenchi 
Masaki Crew at a distance.  Nodoka, Lucia, Ivy, her male 
companions, and a father-daughter pair of groggy Tendos left 
the house, a sign that Ranma was in charge. 
 
Reality came crashing back to Ranma, as he was having too much 
fun sparring with rediscovered family.  Sleeping arrangements 
had yet to be made, and with the sun having just set, there 
was no way that Tenchi or his family could get back to 
Okayama. 
 
They all came to an agreement to hold the powwow until the 
following day, as the events had already caused them to miss 
lunch and the Saotome Stomach was demanding sustenance.  
Accommodations for the Masaki people were taken care of by 
Washu, as was the apparent norm for them. 
 
*Day three* 
 
It was a repeat performance for breakfast, only with more 
people in attendance.  Though the young one, Sasami, turned 
out to be a gold mine for the kitchen.  Washu helped with the 
sudden food shortage, as the Tendo’s hadn’t planned on housing 
so many at once.  Once everything settled down to a semi-
normal pace, the conversation became serious. 
 
“Okay Ranma,†started Tenchi, “Clue me in as to what happened 
since the last word we received about you was when you were 
five.†
 
â€&oe lig;Five eh?†replied Ranma, knowing exactly what happened when 
he turned six.  â€˜It must have been before my birthday.’  He 
paused for a few moments, then dived head long into the 
details of his life.  And details it was, nothing was held 
back since it would either come out when least wanted or 
somebody else would spill the beans.  By the time Ranma had 
finished, making certain that the details were true to life 
(read: gory as hell), everybody present and eavesdropping from 
outside wanted to vomit. 
 
Noboyuki was the first to recover, and extracted a cell phone 
from his coat.  While still green around the gills, he dialed 
his own parents number.  As the remaining folk minus a 
reflective Ranma were coming around, they caught the sounds of 
shouting.  Not from Tenchi’s father, but from the phone.  
Conveniently held as far away from his ear as possible. 
 
(Due to massive threats, swearing, more threats combined with 
swearing and graphic death promises, the following section has 

---

been censored for the public’s sanity.) 
 
â€&oel ig;Holy God,†mumbled Karin, as she keeled over.  This resulted 
in a domino effect, as when she went down she bumped Hild who 
fell forward into Urd, Bell and Peorth.  They in turn fell 
into Kasumi, Nabiki, Xian and Ukyo.  As the carnage spread, 
the women of the NWC toppled into not only Cassandra, Taki, 
Xianghua who’s been silent for far too long, but also into 
Ayeka, Ryoko, Sasami, Washu and finally Tenchi. 
 
Meaning when the dust settled, Ranma was blinking owlishly as 
the mass of arms and legs around him. 
 
“I need a vacation,†deadpanned Ranma to the groaning mass of 
bodies.  That’s when he realized in all the excitement that 
the introductions of Tenchi’s followers had not yet been made.  
Well, everybody had an idea of who Tenchi, Katsuhito and Washu 
were, but they didn’t even know the names of the others. 
 
“Yo Tenchi,†he said, “who’re your friends?†
 
“Where to begin?†responded Tenchi.  Then he launched into the 
story of the later part of his life, since before freeing 
Ryoko was so bland.  Like his cousin, Tenchi didn’t just gloss 
over anything.  He went into details, thoughts, and feelings 
to bring his story to life. 
  
“Wow, that’s deep man,†sympathized Ranma, “But I guess we 
have a trade-off.  We’ve both done things that the other 
hasn’t, and probably won’t, experience.†
 
&ac irc;€œWell, perhaps we could take you up in Ryo-Ohki someday,†
suggested a mellow Ryoko.  Well, perhaps it was the promise 
rings on the TMC females left hand ring finger that had her 
mellow. 
 
“Take me up where?†asked Ranma, the meaning of the statement 
lost on him. 
 
“Up into space,†answered Tenchi, seeing where Ryoko was going 
with her train of thought.  Now, anybody that knows anything 
about Juraians and their ships, plus a thing called ‘speaking 
of’ knows that they have a tendency to lurk in subspace.  They 
even have a tendency to lurk in the atmosphere of planets 
while in subspace.  That’s why, directly over the soon to be 
Saotome Dojo, opened a controlled subspace rift as soon as 
Tenchi said the magic word. 
 
The rift attracted the attention of the residents and the 
people mingling in the back yard.  Since the ones indoors had 
exited the house via the back door, everybody was gathered to 

---

witness the latest event.  Two ships descended from the rift.  
One was plainly obvious to the Juraian Princesses and Princes 
present. 
 
“Oh no, not the Mikagami,†deadpanned Ayeka, drawing looks of 
confusion from everybody else not already in the Tenchi Masaki 
Crew. 
 
“Lady Seto!†shouted a happy Sasami.  â€œMaybe she brought 
Grandma Airi with her!†
 
“And if she did,†warned Tenchi, from a bad experience, “don’t 
call Airi anything remotely related to age.†
 
“Hmmm . . . wonder if that’s the Mizuki?†thought Washu out 
loud to nobody but herself as she eyed to second ship with the 
Mikagami.  Bringing up the Mizuki reminded the TMC about a 
certain young native of Earth that had a tremendous bad luck 
streak. 
 
â&eur o;œSomebody want to explain this to me?†demanded Ranma while 
waving his arm in the direction of the ships now hanging over 
his home.  One on one physical issues he could handle.  Two 
apparent warships?  Yeah right, not in this or any lifetime.  
Maybe the smaller of the two, that didn’t look like a giant 
circle with another offset circle sporting the ‘face’ of a 
demon.  But even then that was a long shot. 
 
All thoughts were put on hold as two groups of people appeared 
in the yard.  One group was obviously from the Mikagami, as 
the humanoid partner to that ship stood as tall as Ranma.  She 
had green hair that framed her face, giving her the look of 
evil.  Or perhaps it was the grin she was sporting?  The type 
that could even get Ranma to shudder in fear. 
 
The other group was the infamous Seina Yamada and his 
entourage.  It wasn’t the usual full house that followed the 
Earth-born boy around.  Missing were Gyokuren, Haruken, Surien 
and Karen from the Renza Union.  They had to make a side trip 
home. 
  
Those that didn’t know Lady Seto, or for that matter anybody 
that had just appeared from the ships overhead, remained in 
the background as those that did stepped forward. 
 
“Lady Seto,†greeted Ayeka with a bow, ever proper in her 
manners. 
 
She was shocked when she ignored her in favor of the resident 
chaos magnet.  As she breezed through the Masaki family, they 
were intercepted by Airi. 

---

 
“So, you must be Ranma Saotome,†began Seto, having settled in 
front of said person.  â€œTsunami herself didn’t do you justice.  
Come, we must have a talk.†
 
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,†backpedaled the pigtailed man, “What are 
you going on about?  Who are you?† Those were the first two 
questions fired off, basically starting the Saotome Brain.  
Meaning Ranma went into ten thousand rapid fire questions 
mode, leaving no time in-between them for an answer.  The 
noise of his jet-propelled questions drowned out Airi’s 
reunion with her Grandson and family. 
 
Seto herself looked like Akane right before she produced her 
Hentai-Mallet.  She even lost count on which question Ranma 
had asked due to the sheer volume of them.  She was getting a 
headache, not good for anybody else around the Devil Princess 
of Jurai. 
 
“That is enough,†was the sound emitted from her mouth, but 
apparently shields had gone up around Ranma’s ears.  Those 
that knew better started backing away, while those that wanted 
to be on Ranma’s good side came closer. 
 
“I said that’s enough!†roared Seto, still with no effect.  A 
vein appeared on her forehead, a scowl marring her face.  
Ranma, with his martial arts training, had yet to pause for 
air in the last five minutes.  He had yet to even break a 
sweat from using oxygen so fast.  Seto turned after getting 
tapped on the shoulder, to see one of Ranma’s friends 
presenting her with a megaphone.  Arching one eyebrow in 
confusion, she took it and thumbed the switch. 
 
“HEY!  PAY ATTENTION!†she quite literally hollered directly 
next to Ranma‘s ear, although it was greatly amplified by the 
‘phone.  Ranma stopped, looking at Seto like she had lost her 
mind.  High frequency forced feedback emanated from the 
megaphone, making all present cringe.  Seto quickly turned it 
off, and threw it into a subspace pocket for future use with a 
certain Emperor. 
 
“That’s better,†she said. 
 
“HUH?  WHATDAYA SAY?†shouted Ranma, trying to get the ringing 
out of his ears.  â€œI CAN’T HEAR YOU!  GIMMIE A FEW TO GET THIS 
NOISE TO STOP!†
 
THUD! 
 
Y ep, face vaults abound for everybody present.  Ranma, being 
himself, decided to go raid the fridge since everybody else 

---

had decided it was nap time.  Meaning by the time the others 
(and there are a LOT of them) stood back up, he was nowhere to 
be found. 
 
“So . . .†began Ukyo, not wanting to incur any wrath from 
anybody.  This started the rounds of introductions again.  The 
Soul Calibur team went first, glossing over their past.  Then 
the duo from Shadow Hearts came next, followed by the Ranma 
crew, then the O!MG people and finally the new arrivals of 
GXP. 
 
Ranma had paid attention, noting the evil look from Seto the 
entire time.  He just shrugged it off, the highest insult to 
be given to Seto Masaki Jurai . . . the SNUB.  It took the 
efforts of Tenchi, Airi, Katsuhito, Seina and the goliath 
known as Siegfried to hold her back.  Well, all that he had to 
do was lift his sword that was longer than he was tall, not 
actually touch her. 
 
“I invite you all to the Mikagami,†declared Seto in an 
obvious tactical maneuver to get what she wanted. 
 
“I’m there,†answered Ranma from somewhere inside the house.  
“But who all wants to come with?†
 
THUD! 
 
“Well, that was unexpected,†deadpanned Tenchi, with a mouth 
full of dirt.  â€œThough he does bring up a good point.†
 
There was an immediate showing of hands from those on the 
Certificate, unsurprisingly.  That meant the elder sisters 
Tendo, Ukyo, Xian, Urd, Peorth and Hild were in.  Xianghua, 
Cassandra and Taki raised their hands after some quick 
glances.  Karin wasn’t too far behind them, something 
compelling her to remain at Ranma’s side at all costs.  Lucia 
shook her head in the negative, along with the remainder of 
the Soul Calibur crew. 
 
Unnoticed by them, Ranma had appeared in the door to the 
house, giving very slight nods to Seto.  She had a very good 
idea that the pig-tailed martial artist didn’t want unwelcome 
elements screwing around with any aspect of his life.  Seto 
would look at a person with an arm raised, and very subtly 
look in Ranma’s direction. 
 
“We’l l follow in the Mizuki,†stated Tenchi for his and 
Seina’s group, knowing that there was really no choice when it 
came down to Seto.  Ranma shrugged at that, not really caring 
since he hadn’t had the time to bond with Tenchi.  As the 
Juraian equivalent to transporters began moving people from 

---

the ground to the two ships, Ranma approached Seto, giving his 
thanks for a reprieve from the life of Nerima.  As the last 
two on the ground that were going, they both looked around to 
give any late-comers the opportunity to ‘climb aboard’. 
 
Akane, in another fit of impishness, tried to join them before 
they left the surface of Earth.  Ranma shook his head in the 
negative only once, but it was all Seto had to see. 
 
“Sorry, full up,†exclaimed Seto with false cheer, taking 
Ranma with her.  Akane’s rage boiled, being denied the chance 
at redemption . . . or to totally FUBAR the rest of her life, 
depending on the point of view.  She quickly charged her Baka-
Mallet, and flung it at the Mikagami as she lifted into the 
controlled subspace rift.  Just before the ship disappeared, 
the ki-mallet made contact . . . 
 
“What did you just do?†roared Airi, applying a full Nelson to 
Akane as they both watched the gateway go from a steady 
appearance to one that was chaotic. 
 
Needless to say, the events of the last three days were about 
to change the entire view of the universe by the Earthlings. 
 
And when the travelers return?  Well . . . the memoirs would 
be best sellers in any market, that much would be for certain. 
 
TBC 
 
Yes, this has been edited some more.  People had complained 
about the chapters being too long so I sliced them into 
smaller sizes.  Plus I had to change some elements.  Bah. 
 
Reworked in Aurora, CO 

---