Hellsing Fan Fiction ❯ Piss me off and Die ❯ Chapter 23 ( Chapter 24 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Blumarshin
The ball is finally here! Lillian's is nervous, Alucard looking for bit of fun, Seras coes to help. Who is Sir Albert the third of Nottingwood? Read on, will get a laugh!

Anime/Manga: Hellsing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 04.11.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 6.7K | Visits: 957 | Status: Completed

(A/N: Sorry this chapter has taken so long but the ball is finally here and you finally meet the badguy in the next chapter. Keep reviewing me please and enjoy. )
Chapter 23:
“Stop fidgeting Lillian.” Vincent said to her in an effort to keep Lillian still.
“I can't help it.” She whined, totally uncomfortable with her surroundings.
“Nervous my master?” Alucard smirked at her.
“No!” She glared back. Vincent sighed loudly, they were like children and were as worse as each other. Lillian had some sort of an excuse with her still being a teenager and all but what was Alucard's? He didn't think he really wanted to know. They were at the entrance of Buckingham Palace and were making their way to the ballroom where the party awaits. Lillian was still fidgeting uneasily.
“You've been to many balls in your years Lillian, what makes this ball so different?” Vincent asked. He was noticing Lillian's nervousness and it was not like Lillian.
“Well Vincent for one, I've never been to a ball in my honour so there will be certain things expected of me which I know nothing about. Two this will be my first time representing my house as the new head of Hellsing. Three I feel weird in a dress, I haven't worn one in so long and four I don't have a decent weapon on me!” Lillian replied hyperventilating slightly. It had always been her father and mother who represented their house, she was never expected to hold the house before but now they were gone and Lillian's father died way too young as her mother did. She misses them greatly though and holds something of them always. Sometimes it was a locket with their portraits or something that had belonged to one of them. Lillian sighed in remembered grief, father and mother were gone now and she was alone, just her. Lillian was the head, lord and master of her noble house, master Hellsing. She would not fail her family, and she would find out the reason for the escalating freak problem, nor will she ever give up either, not while there was life in her body. She will face every challenge life puts across to her with the pride, dignity and honour that was to be a Hellsing. She would never ask of someone what she was never willing to do herself, nobility or not nobility. Even if it did include going to balls and wearing, gulp…dresses. Lillian was a warrior god damn it, a soldier and should be out there now destroying the undead scum that walk London's and England's itself streets like her ancestors of old, not going to royal ball and `having a merry good time' and dealing with the noble scum that awaits her now. Lillian would rather fight a mass of freaks than attend a ball anytime especially since her last ball she attended was a complete disaster and a huge tongue lashing from her father. She laughed and then sighed out loud still deep in thought.
“You look very lovely in dresses Lady Lillian like the true lady you are and you hold it well.” Vincent smiled down at her meaning every word.
“She doesn't look lovely Vincent she looks beautiful.” Alucard said to him with a type of father's pride in his voice. Vincent noted that and moved on.
“True, very true Lord Alucard.” Lillian smiled up at them and looked down to what she was wearing. She wore an ice blue full ball gown with no sleeves. The dress was a hard blue corset that shimmered in the light. It showed of her bosom gracefully exposing her shoulders and neck, as it had no straps. The corset was held up by the tightness of the long straps at the back and they trailed down to the floor getting lost in the full-length skirt that flowed out from the corset. It was a one piece the dress as the skirt was attached to the corset and it was a pain to get into Lillian thought to herself, it had took her a good 20 minutes to get it just right. Long shoulder length white gloves accompanied the dress as well as blue 3-inch heels for shoes. She was a bit unstable and wobberly at first with the heels but got use to it quickly, the last thing she needed was a broken ankle. Her hair looked professionally done but was done by Vincent and he did a fine job of it on that. Her hair was fully up on top of her head in an exquisite bun with bits here and there hanging down. Small pins of diamonds carefully placed in hair were there also so her hair sparkled in the light with the diamonds. What accompanied the dress was an old diamond, sapphire white gold necklace. It was her mothers and it is one of Lillian most treasured items she held. A matching diamond, sapphire bracelet complimented it. Finally Lillian also held a small blue handbag, which held a small derringer, a lot of help that will be, Lillian thought to herself but packed it anyway. A small foldable switchblade with high continent of blessed silver and two small vials of holy water and lastly a small flask of a little something for later, heh, heh. No spare hairbrush, extra make-up to touch up her nose or lipstick for Lillian. Vincent had first given her a bag with all this in it and when she looked she scoffed at him and said, you've have got to be kidding. And handed it back, Vincent knowing this would happen pulled out a second bag containing what she had now. Lillian fidgeted again, she was very uncomfortable and nervous but would never admit that out loud though. She didn't think a little derringer and short pocket-knife would do any good to her against a fight. What she supposed to do if they were attacked? Say, I'm sorry Mr. Badguy but I'm wearing a stupid dress right now and have no decent weapon on me, come and see me tomorrow and then I'll kick your arse. I think not. How was she going to protect herself? Alucard placed his gloved hand on her shoulder reading her thoughts,
“It's ok master, I'll protect you.” He said smiling widely.
“Oh, now I feel so much better and secure.” Lillian said sarcastically rolling her eyes up. But in truth she did feel a lot better with Vincent and Alucard at her side with them at least protecting her. She looked up at them, Vincent and Alucard were wearing matching outfits that also matched with her. They wore full ball tuxedos, the type with all the layers. England ball fashion has never changed through the years. The only difference between Alucard and Vincent was that Alucard wore a red small tie with a ruby pendant to match his eyes and Vincent wore a green small tie with an emerald pendant to match his eyes. Everything else was the same, they wore a grey suit covers with a icy blue under shirt matching Lillian's dress with a white vest and to Lillian they both looked gorgeous. Alucard fitted the suit like he had always wore one, it was his style and Vincent looked like it was truly made for him. Lillian felt really special now being escorted by these two, her protectors, her guardians. They would never fail her and she prayed to god she would never fail them.
“You two look absolutely spiffy in those suits of yours. I may make you wear it permanent as a uniform you two look so good. I think I'm gonna be the envy of most of the women tonight.” She laughed making a joke to lighten her mood.
“You think so?” Alucard said doing a little twirl.
“Yep, definitely.” Lillian answered.
“Well you are the guest of honour Lillian.” Vincent said holding her arm. Alucard grabbed the other and she held them close. They had reached the doors.
“Lets go try and have some fun hey.” Lillian said sounding cheery. The door opened and they walked through. The announcer spoke,
“Presenting Lady Lillian Integra, Elizabeth of the noble Hellsing house, escorted by Lord Alucard and master Vincent Dolneze.” Lillian took a deep breath and let it out. All heads were pointed in their direction and the music stopped momentarily for their entrance. Lillian held on to them like they were her last lifelines in this world. Alucard spoke in Lillian's mind, master I'm losing feeling in my arm and I hate to think what you are doing to Vincent. Oh sorry. She replied and loosened her hold. A heavy sigh came out of Vincent. The three of them hand in hand walked up to King Michael and Queen Juliana of England. Lillian let them go and curtseyed while Alucard and Vincent bowed.
“Your majesties.” Lillian spoke head down. King Michael was the ruling monarch of England with his wife Queen Juliana and has ruled going on ten years now with one son, Thomas who was five. King Michael was a good king, Lillian thought anyway but also was considered abit loony as he was always…happy.
“Ah Lady Hellsing, you made it, jolly good show, it's been to long since I've seen you at ball.” He said to Lillian smiling happy to see her.
“Yes your majesty, it has been far to long indeed.” She said and raised her head.
“Lady Lillian you look absolutely splendid in that dress of yours. You look like a fine lady.” Queen Juliana spoke to her.
“Why thank you your majesty, you also are looking most beautifully in your gown tonight. Allow me to introduce my escorts for this evening, Lord Alucard and Vincent Dolneze, my most trusted companions.” Lillian replied with Alucard and Vincent bowing again.
“And fine strapping young men they are too. Now go and be off with you and enjoy your party.” King Michael answered back winking. Queen Juliana playfully elbowed him in the side and he said, `What?' Lillian smiled and shook her head, curtseyed yet again and high tailed it to the nearest inconspicuous corner which held the drink table to retrieve a drink with Alucard and Vincent trailing behind her. The music was back in motion again with people dancing, chatting and “socializing”. Lillian already spotted four; no five knights/ nobles with their sons headed her way. Like freaks to fresh blood Lillian thought. It was going to be a long night however Lillian did have her contingency plan (A.K.A Plan B) ready if necessary. Almost at a frenzy, the troupe hurried towards her dragging their sons alongside them. Lillian noticing this clutched tightly onto Alucard's arm. Dear God Alucard, Shoot me now. Put me out of my misery. Just as Sir Pennsville and his geeky son Miles drew forward, a dashing young man with slicked back blonde hair intruded posing himself right before Lillian. He proclaimed himself like a Hollywood hero.
“I'm Sir Albert the third, son of Albert the second of Nottingwood. At your service my beautiful Lady Lillian” Having said that he bowed lowly awaiting her gracious reply. Lillian merely stood there dumbfounded in shock before turning to Alucard desperately Remember what I said before. DO IT.
“Don't worry my lady, too much of me I know, gives women a bit of a shock. Must be my dashing looks” Albert proclaimed flicking his head to the side and swishing his hair around. Even Vincent was appalled mouth open in shock.
Lillian stood there fumbling to find the words
“Uh…uh… Thank you? I guess… Sir Albert.” Albert grimaced when she spoke,
“The third my lady, Albert, the third.”
Alucard then took this chance to step in offering a hand out to Lillian
“Would you like to dance my lady?”
“I thought you'd never ask!” In an act of desperation Lillian took Alucard's hand and moved on the dance floor seething in his ear,
“I thought I told you to shoot me damnit.”
“Oh, I would've master, but I found this… what you say… more vindictive” as they begun to dance.
“Well I may just have to `accidentally' step on your toes now won't I.” Lillian countered doing just that. Proving her point. Now at this point in time Sir Albert the third was standing in shock/denial/astonishment,
“Did what just happen… HAPPEN? Did I just get REJECTED?” Not wanting to look at the fool he huffed and tromped off insearch of Sir Albert the second of Nottingwood - his father. Vincent coughed and made his way towards the pathetic excuse for a buffet for refreshments. Containing his laughter.
After 20 minutes of ankle torture upon the dance floor, Lillian was subjected to their (The nobles) way of “socializing”. Socializing, idle chatter, gossiping, Dear god, and their sons!
“Oh dear… You poor child… No mother or father… How do you manage? And with no man to help you through?” All the wives would say to her, Lillian kept her temper and just nodded and agreed always staring wistfully in grief when the talk of her parents came up. However on the inside she kept sane by imagining their bodies hanging off long wooden pikes where they were just twitching ever so slightly. (Sigh) Lillian woke up to herself. Where did that come from? She thought to herself, she didn't feel Alucard's presence, he was off somewhere doing what ever he usually did when he was at balls, which reminded her to find him fast and keep an eye on him, Alucard without supervision was well, scary. Lillian put the bad thought of what she wished would happen to the nobles behind her, she was raised better than that and concentrated on the conversion she was having now with…with…with what his name, Sir something rather in front of her and his wife. Lillian was really bad at this, small talk and she was terrible at keeping names, but faces now that was different. As long as they didn't talk about her parents or organisation or a man for her she was happy.
“Well how have you been coping dear with the loss of now both of your parents at such a young age. It must be difficult and running a secret organisation by yourself with no man, yes very difficult indeed.” Sir Whathisname's wife said to her. Nope jinxed myself Lillian thought trying not to twitch and answered her saying the same line yet again.
“Yes, yes it is but I was raised all my life to be the new head of Hellsing and I would like to think my parents, my father taught me well.”
“Well I'm sure he did! And you look and seem like a fine lady indeed with grace and etiquette just like your mother did.” She answered quickly. Lillian heard a HA! In her head from Alucard and whispered back, `yeah shut up vampire or when we get home I'll show you how unlady like without grace and etiquette I can be. I have a new gun to test out.' She heard a humph and saw him in her head slink back to his part in her mind, still smiling though. Sir Whathisname was talking now and Lillian brought herself back to the present again.
“…Have you yet considered a partner or husband yet Lady Lillian? The men this year seem to be of good breed and stance.” His wife was nodding in agreement to him and held him tighter finishing off while looking at her husband smiling,
“Yes sometimes you just need a good man to be with you.”
Lillian could almost be sick, nope she was going to be sick. She answered back while silently cursing them practically yelling at them in her head. I'm SEVENTEEN DAMIT! SEVENTEEN. YOU DON”T GET MARRIED AT SEVENTEEN!
“No sorry not yet. Right now I'm just finding my feet.” She didn't need no man! She had enough testosterone to compensate with Alucard around and his egotistical self!
Speaking of the devil, she looked around to see Alucard on the prowl. No doubt scaring off the “would be knights” under Vincent's ever-watchful eye she saw. Well at least Alucard was good for something. She thought as she was finally able to move her way over to the refreshments table and to the… punch. Her moment of retribution had arrived as she retrieved a small flask containing something very devious. “Mwuhahaha” she laughed as she poured the contents held within the flask into the punch. Just as she was in the middle of her mission, Alucard crept up towards her and spoke with a wide grin as he too held something in his hand
“What are you doing master?”
Lillian jumped in fright almost dropping the flask as she slowly turned to face Alucard, hiding the flask behind her back. “N-nothing…”
“I believe the term is `sprung', my master.” Alucard grinned knowing what she was doing which was surprisingly what he was just about to do.
“Sprung! What on earth do you mean sprung!” She yelled at him. Alucard was grinning widely.
“Then what is that you have behind your back? Hmm?” Lillian looked down at what was in her hand and up again.
“Oh, that. It's nothing just a little bit of…flavoring, ah yes Vincent gave it to me. Something Vincent always gives to me.” She said nodding her eyes shinny bright blue full of innocence and truth. Alucard not buying the act for a second smiled some more and replied,
“A little bit of flavoring from Vincent you say master,” Lillian nods her head
“You do know master vampires have a excellent senses in which the sense of smell is included and can tell when a person is lying.” He bent down and whispered in her ear then faced her again. Lillian said,
“Shoot.” And clicked her fingers in front of her. That was when she realised Alucard too had a small bottle in his hand. Lillian looked up at him and mirrored the smile he had his face.
“Oh really, tell me dearest Alucard, what is that you hold in your hand?” She said, already knowing what it was. So the tables have turned. Alucard's smile faltered slightly, he had forgot about the small bottle in his hand.
“I believe the term is sprung, dearest Alucard.” Alucard looked down at the bottle in his hand and then at Lillian and replied,
“So I am, master, so I am.” Alucard remembered all the times Integra had caught him out at spiking the punch. Oh the tongue-lashings he would get from Integra. Tradition of getting `sprung' it seemed had not changed. Lillian looked around to see if anyone was watching close by, saw it was safe and giggled at Alucard.
“Well come on then put it in, put it in.”
Vincent had lost track of Alucard and that could be a worry. Now with Lillian and Alucard Vincent knew he was either one, going to go bald by pulling out his hair or two go grey for too earlier. And I'm only 27! Sigh. Vincent looked around the ballroom and saw with dismay Alucard and Lillian at the refreshments table crouched together hiding something from view. What ever it was with those two it couldn't be good. When Lillian was acting childish Alucard seemed to join in too. Sigh. Vincent trudged off to see and no doubt stop whatever they were doing. Why me? Why me, he asked to none in particular. He wished Seras was here, she seemed to be able to deal with the both of them better. When he got closer he heard them giggling to each other, giggling. This was not good. Vincent silently crept up to them both and craned his neck foreword to see while saying,
“What are the two of you doing?” Lillian and Alucard froze, looking like the two kids who got caught in the proverbial cookie jar. Lillian turned around slowly placing the bottles in Alucard's hand, which of course Vincent noticed.
“Ah Vincent…ha, ha. What are we doing you say? Well um…nothing.” Lillian said eyes closed smiling. Alucard in her head clapping slowly Oh yeah that was believable Lillian, he'll never suspect us now. Shut up vampire, was her answer. Vincent putting one and two together widened his eyes in shock.
“You, you didn't just do what I think you just did, did you?” pointing his finger at the punch. Flavoring Vincent gave you hey Lillian. I said shut up vampire! Their silence was enough for Vincent. Vincent looked over to Alucard, now pointing his finger at him,
“Alucard you should know better, (Alucard looking shocked, Lillian smiling evilly) wait a minute, actually Lillian YOU should know better, spiking the punch, what in heaven's name made you do this!” Vincent was now pointing at Lillian whispering loudly but not too loudly to draw attention to themselves. (Lillian was now in shock and Alucard smiling evilly.)
“But, but it was Alucard's idea first Vincent, honestly.” She replied pointing at Alucard. Alucard's head whipped around staring dumbfounded at Lillian,
“What? My idea!” Lillian was furiously nodding her head. Vincent was now looking unsure. Alucard still staring in shock, over the years he had been blamed for many things that he had not done but this, THIS was going way to far.
“My idea says the girl who was caught pouring her flask in first which the pathetic excuse of it's flavoring from Vincent.” Alucard said now accusing Lillian. Vincent now confused stopped them both as Lillian was now attacking Alucard back.
“I don't care who it was who thought or did it first, you BOTH were caught and shall BOTH suffer the consequences.” Vincent rambled on abit more. Lillian said to Alucard ` what happened to your “Vampire” excellent senses which the sense of sound, hearing is included! Huh?' His reply being Oh silly me, I must of “accidentally” didn't realise he was there. Bloody vampire. Vincent had finally worn himself out whispering/yelling at them, which mind you they weren't even listening to and felt spent.
“Well what are we going to do with the spiked punch, huh? We can't leave it here like this.” Before anyone could answer him they heard a ahem humph. The sound of someone clearing their throat. The three of them turned around slowly.
“Ah there you are Lady Hellsing. I am Sir Albert the second of Nottingwood, son of Sir Albert the first of Nottingwood. I bid you greetings and congratulations on becoming Mistress Hellsing. I believe you've already met my son, Albert the third of Nottingwood.” The man in front of them was a well-built man who looked exactly like his son but older and more stuck up. Alucard not wanting to be outdone stepped forward and spoke,
“Well sir, I am Lord and master of the night, Alucard the first, the No life King, prince of Romania and Turkish lands of old. Ruler of the Children of the night, he the Impaler who pikes his enemies, the bloody count, Vlad Tepes.” (A/N I don't care if this is wrong, who cares, deal with it if you do and remember it is just Alucard having a bit of fun stirring up the knight, Sir Albert the second of Nottingwood. K, it's my fanfic.)
Both the father and son looked completely dumbfounded and slightly shocked at what he said, not being history buffs themselves and being too thick to realise what he was doing and who or what more accurate he was. Vincent just had a enough time to whisper in Lillian' ear,
“Don't you dare laugh.” However he himself was having difficulty in keeping it in. Albert's father, Albert the second not wanting to look like the fool merely replied,
“Ah well very good sir. Well if you don't mind we will just be borrowing Lady Lillian for a few minutes. Now lady Lillian would you give us the honor and dance with my son?” Lillian who didn't want to at all and seeing no routes of escape decided to use her contingency plan, A.K.A plan B and spoke to Alucard, Contact Seras now at tell her plan B is now in effect, I repeat plan B is now in effect. Alucard was confused, “What?” Lillian in a look of desperation as she was being dragged off by Albert 2 and 3 said, JUST DO IT! So he contacted Seras to find out what it was about. Seras who was in her room on her bed watching TV at the time, wasliving, well sort of it up when Alucard contacted her.
Police Girl, Police Girl. Turn off that idiot box and listen to me.
“Oh hi master, how's the ball?” Seras said when she heard him in her head.
Boring as usual now Lillian said to tell you,
“Plan B is now in effect right. I'm shocked, she lasted longer than I expected.” She said smiling to herself.
Let me finish next time. What is this plan B and why was I not informed. Alucard said now irritated.
“Don't worry master you'll find out soon.” And she was off, flying in the wind to the ball.
Back at the Ball Lillian was now in the arms of jerkarse the third. Who all through the time she was dancing with him was just talking about himself.
“Well I'm sure you know about all me and well not being too modest well the rumoursare all true.” He went on some more about his accomplishments, which were pretty pathetic and od course himself somemore,Lillian wasn't really listening anyway, all she could think about was `where the hell was Seras?'.
Alucard who was watching Lillian dance with the buffoon then spotted Seras in the ballroom making her way to Lillian and he understood what planB was now, search and `rescue'. He followed and walked up with Seras. Vincent not understanding still and was abit shocked to find Seras at the ball followed him.
“Hi master, finally figured out plan B?” she walked up to Lillian and tapped her on the shoulder. Lillian stopped dancing and faced her. Seras whispered in her ear, Plan B in affect Sir, Search and rescue now commencing. I'm amazed you lasted this long my lady. You're telling me, Lillian whispered back. Albert the third was in shock and now angry, how dare that woman interrupt their dance, how rude. Lillian faced jerkarse and said,
“Thanks for the dance Al but I have to dash, duty calls.” She now headed towards the king and queen to accuse herself. Albert called after her,
“Albert the third my lady, ALBERT the third. You're welcome for the dance. See you again soon.” Whatever and not likely jerkarse. She mumbled under her breath. Seras, Alucard and Vincent fell in step behind her as the four of them approached the king and queen. They bowed before them and Lillian spoke,
“Your majesties.” King Michael looked down and saw Lillian,
“Ah lady Hellsing, there you are. Are you enjoying your ball so far?” Lillian rose.
“Yes your majesty it is one of the best I have been to and I graciously thank you and her majesty for the ball. However I have just been informed by my captain here that I'm needed elsewhere. The call of duty unfortunately can come at the worst of times and most of course must be always answered. And my most sincerest apologies but I must leave so soon.”
“Well put, Lady Hellsing. Now off with you, keep safe and protect my country from harm.” And with that Lillian and her little troop left with the last thing they heard when they reached the doors being,
“Someone has spiked the punch!” and King Michael saying,
“Jolly good show. Ah I remember when I used to spike the punch at ball.”
Lillian was doubled over in laughter and eventually had to be carried out by Alucard but with great difficultly as he was laughing madly too. Vincent was shaking his head, saying, "an utter disaster" and Seras saying, "What, what happened, what's so funny? Tell me..."