Hellsing Fan Fiction ❯ Piss me off and Die ❯ Chapter 31 ( Chapter 29 )

A/N: Hello again fellow fanfic writers and readers! I'm back! Yes it was ages since I last updated but I've generously written 4 chapters for you with this bonus one. I will be endeavoring to update more often and sooner. Any way I wish to thank everyone who has been here from the start, 31 chapters and still going! Whoa! But I'm finally getting there, to the end that is. I hope everyone been liking it so far (tell me if you are!)

Anyway I'll let you read on, Thanks for the reviews but keep them coming and I also ask,

What do ya think of Grace and will she nab Alucard! Ha! Yeah right!

Oh yeah I've just realized, silly me! I haven't described what Grace actually looks likes! (I'M NOT BLONDE!) It will be in the next chapter, #32.

Till next chappy, ta ta for now, toodles! ^_^

 

Chapter 31:

It was 4:30 in the afternoon which found Lillian at her desk doing yet again more paperwork. The weather was still wet and raining a constant drizzle which suited Lillian's mood perfectly. She felt like shit. Lillian had one of the worst nights she ever had in her entire lifetime. She and Grace had a little sleepover in her room. Lillian had to put up with scrutinizing comments and `helpful hints' about her social life, a.k.a boyfriend wise. Which this for Lillian was zilch. Lillian hadn't had a boyfriend or close to one in years. Grace didn't seem too shocked when Lillian told her about it and so started the `helpful hints' from Grace who seemed to be the expert in relationships. Currently for Grace she was dating three different guys in America, one in England and two over virtual internet. Grace even went to the trouble of trying to hook Lillian up with one of her previous boyfriends which Lillian hastily declined. This however resulted in Grace deciding that she and Lillian will be going out clubbing tonight to look for a boyfriend for Lillian. Lillian could not refuse her and tried to hide in work but Grace threw back at her that Vincent and Alucard could run the organization whatever it might be for one night. Lillian felt doomed.

Also another emotional scar was added to Lillian's ever growing list when she definitely found out Grace was not a virgin when she started talking about what she and her previous boyfriends and current had done together. Things Lillian didn't think were even possible. Lillian put a stop to that conversation immediately after hearing Alucard's voice in her head daring her to ask if Grace had done a certain `position'. After mentally slapping Alucard and scolding him for eavesdropping on a very private conversation, Lillian moving on the only topic she felt safe in-the weather. However to Lillian's dismay the conversation had somehow moved on to Alucard. Lillian had never been hammered with so many questions from Grace.

`Is he still married?'

“Which room is he in?” Lillian accidentally answered that one with the dungeons. After five minutes of begging Grace not to go down there Grace continued on.

`Why does he dress the way he does?'

`Have you seen him naked?' Lillian nearly had a heart attack with that one.

`Is he seeing anyone now?'

`Do you know what type of girls he likes?' Grace also made comments and more comments about him, `I bet he looks hot without a shirt on'

`Those red eyes and black hair, to die for!'

“I wonder if he's black all the way down?” Lillian was confused at this question to herself Grace made but Alucard being the total arsehole he was had come back (But most likely had never left.) and answered yes to Lillian when it hit her. The perfect timing being when Lillian had a mouthful of soda. This of course resulted in Lillian spiting it out everywhere and up her nose. Grace was a bit curious at this when Lillian started to mumble, I'm going to kill him and rip that smug expression of his bloody arrogant face! Repeatedly when she was cleaning up the mess she had made. More questions and comments were made after that. The questions went on and on until Lillian lost it and yelled out,

“Why don't you ask him yourself!” Which no doubt was a big mistake because the conversation thankfully stopped after that but Lillian didn't know what to think about the little sly smile on her friend's face.

Lillian then had to talk about her parents deaths next and then what she had been doing for the last two years before finally able to convince Grace into watching a vid. Which during that time Lillian was able to fall asleep. This was at 10 in the morning mind you. Lillian had only managed to get around four hours of sleep before she was awake again to do daily duties. Grace the bitch was still sleeping peacefully upstairs while Lillian was in her office doing her dreaded paperwork.

The first thing Lillian did when she turn on her computer was for the third time in her entire lifetime checked her emails and memos. However sure as shit they were there. All the emails and memos Grace mentioned she sent were there.

And so Vincent found Lillian head banging her on desk continuously at 5:30pm for her early tea. Lillian looked up when Vincent entered the office.

“You love me right Vincent?” Lillian asked pleadingly. Vincent set her tea on her desk answering,

“Of course I do Lady Lillian.” Lillian grabbed one of her side arms from their holster and gave it Vincent.

“Then kill me now, I'm not brave enough to do it myself!” Lillian begged desperately. Vincent was acting like everything was normal and was not shocked at Lillian's behavior in the slightest. He took the gun from her hands and placed it on the other side of the desk.

“Now, now Lady Lillian there's no need for that. What's troubling you?” Vincent asked holding Lillian's hands in his own patting them like you would do it a frightened child.

“Grace, Alucard, and now Seras. I'm going to go insane Vincent, totally insane.” Lillian said taking her hands form him to rub her temples.

“Well with Alucard it's understandable. I'm not sure what you mean with Seras but why Miss Grace? By the way my lady I've come up with a solution to keeping the organization away from Grace.” Lillian looked up at him at this.

“You mean I'm not going to have to turn her blind and make her deaf?” Lillian asked hopefully, cause that was the only solution she could come up with. Vincent looked slightly confused at Lillian's last remark not knowing if she was serious or not.

“Ah…yes. You yourself have already put it in motion.” Vincent stated. It was Lillian's turn to look confused now.

“I have?” she asked. Vincent nodded his head answering,

`Yes my lady you have. It is simple enough; during the night we simply take Miss Grace away form the organization.” Lillian looked dumbfounded at this.

“And how are we going to do this?” Lillian asked. Vincent looked confused.

“Why you are already taking Miss Grace out clubbing tonight are you not?” Vincent asked. Lillian dropped her head to her desk.

“Thanks for reminding me. Beside she is taking me out, big difference. How did you know about it anyway?” Lillian grumbled out. Vincent smiled and continued on,

“Miss Grace told me when I delivered her afternoon tea. I do believe this will be good for you Lady Lillian, a nice chance to get out of this old musty manor.” Lillian lifted her head up at that.

“But Vincent I've never gone clubbing in my entire life!” Lillian whined out. Vincent smiled at her behavior and answered back,

“And therefore this will also be a new experience for you as well.” Lillian pushed back into her chair replying,

“Argh! We are also supposedly going `shopping' as well.” Vincent looked even more delighted.

“That's good; it's always nice to get new clothes.” Vincent replied. Lillian looked annoyed.

“Hey, what's wrong with the clothes I have now?” Vincent didn't answer and just looked at the clothes she was wearing now. Lillian still wore the same type of baggy ripped cargo pants to her feet with regulation army boots. Her usual singlet and tank top complete with her black hip length jacket which she never zips up. Most of Lillian clothes have stains, rips, cuts and what nots on nearly every single clothing item she owned. That's the reason Vincent kept her good clothes hidden and safe. To Lillian his silence said it all.

“Alright, alright so I don't have the best fashion sense or clothes in really good condition but it's not that type of shopping.” Lillian answered. Vincent looked a bit confused at that.

“Then what type of shopping is Miss Grace taking you?” Vincent asked.

“She calls it `boy shopping'.” Lillian said with finger chon chons and all. Vincent looked even more confused.

“You are shopping for boys?” Vincent asked. Lillian shrugged her shoulders.

“Kinda.” Something seemed to have hit Vincent because his eyes widened and he clutched his heart.

“You don't mean you are shopping for male prostitutes?” Vincent whispered out. Lillian looked completely shocked at his sentence, going completely red in embarrassment. Shaking her hands widely in front of her,

“Hell no! Boy shopping is where supposedly Grace takes me out to find a boyfriend. Boyfriend shopping. She's trying to get me to hook up with some guy.” Lillian said hurriedly trying to reclaim her innocence. Vincent seem to be able to breathe again as he placed his hand on her desk to support himself and breathe heavily.

“Thank god.” He whispered out. Vincent straightening himself and smiled continuing on,

“That's good. It's nice you are going to go out more.” Lillian arms fell to her sides.

“That's good? That's good? Is that all you have to say Vincent? You are not supposed to agree with her, you're supposed to be on my side and so called `boy shopping' isn't good either! I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want some male human puppy hanging off me, having to places with, feeding it, and paying for it!” Lillian went on, like she could have a boyfriend anyway. Alucard would no doubt bite his head off at first sight, she thought. Hey wait a minute, that had potential, Lillian thought on smiling. The vampire could have its uses after all. Vincent got a bit worried seeing the smile Lillian was making after she had finished her sentence. It had reminded him of Alucard's smile for some reason.

“Lady Lillian, a boyfriend is not what you describe and not all men are like that.” Vincent said trying to in some small way defend the male side of the species.

“Yeah right!” Lillian snorted out. Alucard's voice breathed through Lillian's mind,

`Though how amusing your conversation and thoughts are master, I advise you to come down to the dungeons. Your little human is here…'

“Shit!” Lillian said with feeling and got off her chair and started to run out of her office.

“What is it? What is wrong?” Vincent asked her, following. She looked over to him replying,

“It's Grace. She's bloody down in the dungeons. You tell the girl not to go bloody down there and so what does she do? She bloody goes down there!” Lillian was not happy. She was now annoyed and pissed plus lack of sleep has also made her irritable. Not only could she not use her guns because of Grace but if Grace sees anything in particular or what she is not suppose to see, Lillian is going to have to answer for it. Bloody hell! She thought to herself.

“Vincent, come with me. I'm no doubt going to need your help.” And with that said Lillian rushed down to dungeons with Vincent at her side. Why does God hate me? She thought and descended down the stairs. Lillian thought some more, `No it's probably the devil playing with me. I'm going to kill that vampire one of these days!'

 

*

When Vincent and Lillian reached the bottom of the stairs and made their way down the corridor. Halfway down they spotted Alucard sitting down in his chair, legs crossed with an amused expression on his face.

“Lord Alucard?” Vincent asked slightly confused. Alucard looked up and smirked at us.

“Now all we need is some mud.” Alucard said laughing at his own joke. Lillian turned her head on to one side confused. Mud? Where was Grace?

“Mud Alucard? What the…” but she was unable to finish her sentence as two women came crashing through the door to the left of Alucard. Lillian eyes couldn't register what she was seeing. Grace and Seras were on the floor in a manner which appeared to be… wrestling?

“Isn't it just simply entertaining master?' Alucard said to Lillian.

“Entertaining! Are you mad man?! Seras could bloody kill her!” Lillian yelled out. Lillian did not know what to do in such a situation like this. She couldn't shoot any of them. She didn't want to shoot the ceiling; she didn't need another hole in this place. Lillian for the first time in her life did not want to get in there herself and wrestle them both apart. The way they were wrestling was just plain scary. Honestly who pulls on the opponent's hair? Lillian thought. Lillian looked over to Vincent who was in that moment shocked beyond belief, his mouth shaped in a little o.

“Vincent, what do we do?' Lillian asked desperately. Vincent snapped out of his state and looked over to Lillian.

“It seems to be a catfight lady Lillian.” Vincent replied. Seras yelled out,

“You bitch! He's mine damn it!” and ended with a slap. Grace retaliated and yelled back,

“What do you care, he's your so called father. What, are you afraid of a little competition?” and pulled hard on Seras's hair.

“Ouch! You cow!” Seras yelled back and they started to fight again.

Lillian turned back to Vincent.

“Vincent do something!” she yelled at him. Vincent didn't know what to do himself that didn't involve hurting them. So he did the only thing he could. Vincent cleared his throat and said quite loudly,

“Ladies! Miss Grace! Miss Victoria! Please stop this at once! Ladies do not act this way.” Lillian slowly turned to Vincent in shock and amazement.

“Is that it!?” she asked in total bafflement. Vincent didn't even faze the women fighting nor even get them to pause for a moment. Vincent just shrugged his shoulders. He didn't know what else to do. Alucard was still laughing in the background, harder now. Lillian now getting truly pissed off added her two cents and yelled towards the women.

“Seras Victoria stop now or I will shoot you!” This seemed to get through to Seras for a moment for the fear of getting shot by Lillian and she lifted her head up but then Grace took this as an opportunity and slapped her hard in the face. Seras went berserk again and they both went back to fighting. Bloody hell, Lillian thought. Shooting them both was sounding better and better now. Grace screamed as Seras pulled on her hair and Lillian thought that's it! She marched over to Alucard dashing to the side to avoid getting caught in their battle. Lillian stomped right up to Alucard and pointed an accusing finger at him.

“This is your entire fault! You are going to get shot for this!” Lillian yelled at him. Alucard placed a hand on his chest.

“Me! What did I do?” Alucard protested. Lillian still pointing at him yelled back.

“I don't care, it's your fault and I'm going to shoot you.” Lillian wished she had her shotgun on her now. Alucard smiled while he said his next sentence.

“I think you like causing me pain master. I think it gives you great pleasure. I don't think you should be going `boy shopping'. I don't think many men would like your strange, painful appetites.” Lillian getting what he meant went red and was about to say something back when Seras screamed out now.

“BITCH!”

“SKANK!” replied Grace.

“SLUT!” shot Seras.

“COW!” retorted Grace. (The insults went on.)

Lillian now pointing to the women yelled at Alucard.

“Get off your fat arse and bloody stop them!” Alucard only smiled some more and answered back,

“But master, rule one and three.” Lillian bent down closer to Alucard grabbing is red tie, totally in his face and yelled back,

“Stuff rule one and it doesn't require inhuman strength to separate two women from each other!” Alucard rolled his eyes and sighed loudly. His fun was now ruined. Lillian turned to Vincent now.

“Vincent you help him. You grab Grace while he grabs Seras.” Lillian yelled out. Vincent looked shocked and gulped loudly while pointing at himself and in a small squeak asked.

“Me?” Lillian now rolled her eyes and replied,

“Yes you. Now be a man and get in there, you too Alucard.” She crossed her arms and waited. Alucard got off his chair and walked over to the two women still fighting. Alucard reached down and grabbed Seras while Vincent grabbed Grace. It was an effort on Vincent part as Grace wouldn't stop squirming but it was quite easy of Alucard. Alucard simply picked up Seras by the scruff of her neck and in a raised voice in Seras head said two words while entering her mind and stopped her from moving.

Police Girl! Seras became utterly passive at her masters command and came to herself and what she had done. Shit! Lillian was going to kill her.

Yes Police Girl. You have gotten yourself in strife this time. I believe Lillian has already threatened to shoot you.

Seras's eyes widen at that and looked over to where Lillian was standing. Vincent was still having some trouble with Grace so Lillian walked over to Grace and slapped her face hard.

“Grace Callowell. You do not behave this poorly in my house!” Yep she was as good as dead Seras thought. Grace now seemed to have wakened up to herself and started rubbing her cheek.

“Oww. That hurt Lillian.” She said childishly.

“I hope it hurt Grace, because your behavior was disgraceful.” Grace's head fell down at that and she stopped wriggling in Vincent's arms.

“As for you Seras. We will discuss this later. You can let go of Grace now Vincent. Vincent you will stay down here and tend to Seras wounds while you Grace and Alucard will accompany me to my office. Seras you are to remain down here until called. Do I make myself clear?” Alucard had let go of Seras and Seras nodded her head.

`Yes sir.” Grace smiled at this. Lillian saw this and asked Alucard mentally,

Who started this fight Alucard? Alucard Looked over to her and replied mentally, `Your human master. While looking for me she bumped into Police Girl and provoked her. Police Girl only did what was in her nature, however she still greatly held back, remember that master as your human could be dead right now.' Lillian nodded to Alucard and turned back to Grace and said,

“Grace, apologize to Seras now for your disgraceful behavior towards her.”

“But…” Grace protested. Lillian just looked harder at her. Grace sighed loudly and said annoyed,

“Sorry Seras for attacking you.” Seras was shocked at this from Lillian and making Grace apologize to her first. She wasn't going to die yet! Seras replied in turn to Grace, she at least had manners.

“Thank you Grace and I am sorry as well.” Grace grumbled out, `yeah right.' Which everybody heard but Grace didn't seem to care.

“Start walking Grace.” Lillian said pointing up stairs. Grace started to trudge off, still grumbling to herself. Lillian nodded to Seras and Vincent saying to Alucard still pointing in the direction up stairs.

“You too Alucard, lets go. My office, walking.” Alucard huffed but followed Grace up stairs, Lillian right behind them.

Thanks a lot Police Girl. Now I'm going to get shot. Seras smiled at that and answered back. `You know what I always say master, better you than me.'