Hellsing Fan Fiction ❯ Sentimental Psychopathic Priests ❯ spp1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: if I owned hellsing I would be rich and live in a huge mansion with lots and lots of manga and anime, sadly I don't. so don't sue me, nothing ever comes form it, cept money, I have a quarter that's it.

Chapter 1: Alexander's mistake #1

Alexander Anderson sighed lightly looking around, all he could see was dust from the two vampires and six ghouls he had just killed, he smiled to himself yes now the world was rid of a few more devils, he turned around ready to leave when he heard something, he looked around there coming from the closet, he crept slowly knowing it most likely another vampire, he took out one of his blades holding it secretly in his hand he slowly opened the door a crack, not noticing anything he threw the door opened, staring in he saw crimson red eyes staring back, he let out a scream it screamed back.

This continued for about five minutes till Alexander the "brave" priest realized something, he was screaming and this was the undead. He stopped himself staring at the figure for a few minutes before slapping him/her in the face. Making the screaming stop.

Alexander: get a hold of yourself demon

The figure nodded, Alexander shook his head

Alexander: now that, is over

Alexander drove his blade deep into the vampire's chest; he watched as it fell to the floor, he broke into a maniac laugh.

Voice: holy crap next time can you avoid my chest you almost cut my tits off with those

Alexander looked around, hearing a clank he looked down, noticing the vampire he had just "killed" was A) not dead B) a very familiar blonde vampire C) she just ripped the blade from her chest

Alexander: you

Was the only word he could make come out

Ceras: me what?

Alexander: what are you doing here monster

Alexander pulled out another blade

Ceras: I was sent here to kill those vampires then the ghouls killed everyone I was about to kill them when you showed up, so I decided to hide in this closet in order to avoid you

Alexander: why are you scared of me monster

Alexander held up one of his blades to scare her a little wanting to drive another blade throught her heart

Ceras: no of course I am not.. why are you scared of me

Alexander: fat chance, I am not scared of anything

Ceras stood to her feet

Ceras: is that a fact?

Alexander: of a matter of fact.. AHH SPIDER KILL IT KILL IT

Alexander after seeing the spider jumped into ceras's arm holding onto her like she was her last thread of hope

Ceras: its only a little spider you know

Ceras grinned knowing now he was afraid of something

Alexander: besides the point, it is creepy kill it now

Ceras sighed brining her foot hard down on the spider, killing it

Ceras: its dead

Alexander: really?

Ceras nodded,

Alexander: well tha. why are you touching me you monster

Ceras: cause you jumped into my arms

Alexander: I did no such thing now put me down

Ceras rolled her eyes before dropping him on the ground,

Alexander while rubbing his sore behind: ouch why did you have to drop me

Ceras: you seriously are a insane freak

Alexander: no I am sane, everyone tells me so, like those nice nurses in the happy place where you get a happy hugging jacket and a padded room to play in

Ceras: thought so

Ceras sighed shaking her head as she walked away, Alexander jumped up

Alexander: where do you think you are going demon, don't run come and face me

Ceras: you are a waste of time, so I see now

Alexander: what did you say monster

Alexander through the blade at her, it missed by a mere inch impaling the poor door in front of ceras

Alexander: oh god,

Alexander ran to the door, trying to pull the blade out

Ceras: what's the matter, you are more worried of killing a poor door instead of a spider?

Alexander: no this is my last holy sword

Alexander kept reefing at it

Ceras: really, well to bad for you

She walked past him out of the building into the street, a few minutes later after Alexander had pulled the blade out by putting his feet on the door pushing while he pulled with his hands, falling on his ass then getting up again, he ran out after ceras

Alexander: wait up so I can send you to hell

Ceras shook her head not slowing down, eventually alexander caught up

Alexander: why did you not wait?

Ceras: you are a loser

Alexander: what did you just call me

Ceras sighed as she stopped turning towards the "priest"

Ceras: you are a insult of the church just look at yourself, why I was afraid of you was beyond me, you are like a clown

Alexander: I beg your pardon, and what do you mean look at myself?

Ceras: you look like a escaped mental patient, you are obsessed with killing my master, you are afraid of spiders, you are a understatement of a holy man, you cuss, you kill why the fuck did they let you become what you are, did you bribe someone?

Alexander: for starters I look good, and not like a maniac, I am only obsessed with killing your master because of something.. You don't need to know, and spiders are evil, and and and, I did not bribe anyone, it isn't easy being me you know, having to insane most the time to uphold my image, I am very sensitive underneath

With this Alexander started to break down crying leaning his head on Ceras's shoulder, Ceras sighed patting his back

Ceras: there there, it is okay

Alexander: no it is not you don't understand me

Ceras: it isn't so bad. Hell just look at my life

Alexander: you are dead

Ceras: fine after life, anyways I have to drink blood forever, I sleep in a coffin, and I cant go for day walks

Alexander: that must bite.. hahaha bite you get it

Ceras: you are lame

Alexander: well so are you, you could not even spend a day in my life

Ceras: and you coudent mine

Alexander: but you are dead

Ceras: fuck you

With this ceras pushed Alexander off of her she turned stalking off towards hellsing manor

Alexander: geeze, PMS

Alexander turned walking back to his hotel not far from there, on his way there, he thought long and hard, and got a headache, eventually he got to a dark alley way thinking it a short cut he stepped into it while walking thought the alley way some ugly guy with percings stopped him

Ugly guy: well well well what do we have here boys

Short dude beside ugly dude: looks like a priest

Ugly guy: so it seems, you know father you have to pay the toll to get thought here

Fat dude beside ugly guy: yeah so give us some cash

Short dude: but guys we do this we can go to hell

Ugly guy: we already are there

Short dude: really

The fat dude shook his head

Ugly dude: so give us money or else we will make you

Alexander having listened to the ranting rolled his eyes

Alexander: really and how do you suppose you do this?

The ugly dude cracked his knuckles

Ugly guy/dude: we will make ya

Alexander shook his head and reached for his last blade

Alexander: I suggest you back off

Short dude: yeah like hell we will

Alexander: I warned you

Before Alexander could do anything something rushed past him knocking the fat guy off his feet, it then grabbed ugly guy and through him into a wall, the short dude feeling scared backed off

Short dude: what the fuck

The short dude pulled out a knife, but to no avail he was kicked into the fat guy who fell back into the wall cracking his head both unconscious, a figure stood over all three men, who were now in a huge pile.

Stranger: good riddance, so. how are you

The figure said not facing Alexander

Alexander: just fine. who are you what do you want?

Stranger: I thought you would never asked

The stranger now turned around facing Alexander, it was a woman, she had short black hair, her bangs were a bright orange they went to her shoulders, her skin was a very pale color, she was about 5'6, her clothes in Alexander's opinion to gaudy and un-lady like, (to say it in good terms) there was a black vest with matching boots and gloves, her to short of a skirt was blood red, the tube top she wore was the same color, her eyes of all were the one thing that really got to our dear "priest" there were orange like her hair. Alexander jumped back blades raised.

Alexander: you are a demon

Staranger: no a elf, and the most cutest at that

The stranger struck a pose

Stranger: and my name is shinacira the greatest of them all

Shinacira the elf, had little chance to doge as the blade went whirling past her head

Shinacira O_O: what the fuck was that for

Alexander: you are a demon and must be sent back to hell

Shinacira: no I said elf E L F, elf, got it

Alexander: demon

Shinacira: elf

Alexander: you are a demon and that is that, I am a preist so don't argue with me

Shinacira stuck her tongue out

Shinacira: elf now shut up or else

Alexander: try your worse demon

Shinacria: fine be that way, lets see what to do what to do

Shinacira thought and pondered in till she snapped her fingers

Shinacira: for your insolence, tomorrow when you awake you will be what you most hate

Alexander: a spider?

Shinacira: fuck no, that would be to nice

With this shinacria turned walking away, Alexander growled picking up his last blade again, just then his watch went off he looked down

Alexander: dammit now I have to rebook my flight

This followed by a huge line of cusses, unaware to our "priest" friend, the curse, which he forgot in the spur of the moment, was going to be his worst nightmare so far.

A/N: yeah this is it, the first chapter; I hope you enjoyed don't forget to review

Kyo clone #1: can we get paid now

Kyo clone #2: yeah you promised

Author: Fat chances I only have a quarter

Kyo clone #1: well we will split it please

Author: will you abandoned me like the other muses did?

Kyo clone #1 and #2: no we are loyal to you oh great one

Author: that's great. you still wont get paid

Kyo clone #1: bully

Kyo clone #2: dident they take a vacation?

Author: yes they did.. Now before we ramble on all night let me say these last few words: never run with scissors

Kyo clone #1: that's common sense

Author: so.. Anyways I don't own KOF these are my fill ins while the rest of my muses are on vacation, please stay tuned