Hellsing Fan Fiction ❯ The Silly Adventures of Seras and Pip ❯ Chapter Two ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Pip and his senior officers walked into the barracks, their 'report' to Integra finished. Usually when he got runs his hands on a pretty girl's leg it was going to be a good day. That the pretty girl needed that leg to re-attach was just going to give him nightmares forever. As they got close the yelling from the barracks became clearer.

“Goddamn it Mike what were you thinking?”

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry!”

“Fucking Christ you're going to get us all killed!”

There was more overlapping screaming. Pip quick-stepped the last metres to save Mike's life. Only he was allowed to drag Mike outside and blow his brains out.

A few soldiers clustered around Mike, the rest glared at him. Sobel was whacking Mike over the head with his hat while raving about Mike's hygiene, person and parentage.

“Micheal, you are on fucking punishment detail until I goddamn say otherwise. Armstrong you lead it” Pip ordered.

Pip walked off his officers in tow. They marched to the command room, ready to get really drunk.

“Did she say what she wanted?”, Erik inquired.

“Non, not yet.”

“She's going to let us stew for a while”, Issac said.

Pip got out two bottles of scotch and set them down on the table. The men got their own shot glasses. They plodded down in the chairs. Drinks were poured.

“Fuck” Pip began as he took a shot. We're all dead.

“Shit” Andre agreed. Nice knowing you.

“Damn it” Erik countered and drank. Bet she wants a gallon each.

“Christ” Issac pointed out. That seems a bit much.

“Shitfuck” Pip added, pouring more drinks. She doesn't seem the type

“Goddamn” Erik amended. Maybe a pint.

“Fucking hell”, Alex stated. Like we're so lucky.

“Cocksucker” Issac declared. She might want something else.

“Jesus Christ” Erik affirmed and took another shot.I still say it's blood she wants.

“Crap” Pip mused. Maybe she can take it from Mike.

“God-fucking-damn” Erik replied. Oh that would be soooo nice.

“Hell” Alex disagreed. Again, not that lucky.

The argument was cut short by a knock on the door.

“Sir, Walter's here. Says he needs to talk to you.”

“Let's get this over with” Pip said. They all got up slowly, delaying the execution. Laboriously they shuffled out the door and into the main hall.

Walter was waiting still dressed with meticulous care. They slowly approached. Behind him there were covered trays.

“Good morning Captain Bernadette, Officer Victoria has informed me of your requested change in dinner services.” Pip nodded, playing along. “Unfortunately we were unable to procure anything less pedestrian.”

“And that would be?” Pip ventured.

“Fried liver.”

Behind Pip someone threw up.