Hikaru No Go Fan Fiction ❯ The Extent of Denial ❯ Falling Into Place ( Chapter 31 )

A/N: Ahhh, so sorry! I have difficulty writing the endings of things (I hate it when anything I enjoy is over), and so it takes me longer and longer to put out chapters the closer I get to the end of this! But it's probably going to be another 2-3 chapters after this. (I don't know if I'll survive! But I'll keep trying to write, even if I die! >.< ) I love you guys! Don't hate me for the delay! See the end of this chapter for second author's note and replies to reviews, as u-su-al!

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Hmm,” Waya replied uncertainly, tracing the designs on his cup with a frown.

 

“Waya, that's the truth,” Hikaru insisted, leaning forward from where he sat on the bed.

 

Waya glanced into his friend's earnest green eyes and decided that he believed him. “So you actually broke up with Kota. And you're not going to go back to him? Ever?”

 

Isumi was sitting beside him on Hikaru's bedroom floor, attentively following the conversation as he nursed a cup of hot tea.

 

“Do we have to talk about this?” Hikaru muttered, staring sullenly at the floor.

 

“Hikaru, we're your friends,” Waya stressed, frowning more deeply. “So are you with Touya now?”

 

The bleach-banged boy blushed, glancing quickly at Waya and then away at the Gackt poster. “Not officially…yet? I don't know.”

 

“So you can't have had sex, then,” he stated matter-of-factly, earning a smack from Isumi and a scandalized squawk from Hikaru.

 

“Waya!” the exclaimed in unison.

 

“Whaaat? Geez. Isn't that the truth? But you must have done something?”

 

Hikaru glared at him, face bright red. “Something. But I am not going to share that with you!”

 

“There, easy, you're together,” Waya said with a grin.

 

“Oh?” Isumi broke in calmly. “Is that how it works, then?”

 

He glanced at his lover, not missing the warning in those deceptively stoic eyes. “Ah…okay, maybe not that simple,” he amended, ducking his head.

 

“I was deceiving myself all along, thinking that I could forget about Akira,” Hikaru mused quietly, eyes inward-focused.

 

“But now you have Kota to deal with,” Isumi prompted. “Is that going to be an issue?”

 

The green-eyed boy shrugged. “I don't know. I didn't expect him to be persistent. I guess I don't really know him at all.”

 

The dark-haired pro glanced up at the ceiling briefly and sighed. “Three weeks is a very short time, Hikaru. Think of how long you've known Touya and how much of who he is remains a mystery to you.”

 

“I'm trying.”

 

Waya made a face, tuning out briefly to listen to his own thoughts as Isumi and Hikaru talked. He was grateful that things were much simpler between he and Isumi. If his lover had been like Touya, he would have gone crazy long before they ever got together. He wasn't sure how Hikaru handled it.

 

He leaned back on his hands, studying the animated face of his second closest friend. He had always thought that the bleach-banged boy was silly, ditzy and maybe a bit shallow, but the last several months had made him revise that opinion. It seemed that he hadn't really known Hikaru as well as he'd thought. He had only assumed that he knew all of who this person was.

 

But Hikaru had moody times. Dark times. Broken times. He realized now that the image he'd had in his mind of his friend had been two-dimensional at best. Perhaps Touya had seen more of the real Hikaru than anyone else had. Somehow the thought disturbed him. He felt that he should be the one to know his friend best.

 

But then, he hadn't spent hundreds of hours staring intensely into those green eyes, either, or pushing the other boy to the edge. Touya had. His entire existence had never revolved around Hikaru. Touya's did. Waya grudgingly admitted to himself that maybe it wasn't so surprising that the annoying little Go prodigy really did know Hikaru best.

 

Waya watched as Hikaru tossed his bleached bangs out of his eyes before continuing his discussion with Isumi. His friend was fascinating in a way he'd never been before.

 

Are you really so complicated, Hikaru? I never guessed. I never knew. I never would have imagined that you had the kind of depth that appealed to someone like Touya Akira.

 

He was pleased to have discovered his friend all over again.

 

Isumi was interesting and complex, too. So what made someone like Shinichiro love someone like him? He was relatively straightforward, a simple and uncomplicated person. Wasn't he? Or did he not even know himself?

 

He brushed his fingers over Isumi's briefly before returning his attention to the conversation, smiling into the surprised blue eyes that turned to him. “So where's Touya, anyway?” Waya asked Hikaru.

 

“He…felt the need to confront his father today. I don't think it will turn out well, but he says that he can't leave it alone.” Hikaru looked uncomfortable and concerned.

 

“Well, yeah. Even if you were a girl, you don't meet his standards.”

 

“Thanks, Waya,” the bleach-banged boy replied sarcastically.

 

“Well, it's true. Nothing personal.”

 

Hikaru made a disgruntled noise before his expression brightened marginally. “You guys want to go out for a late lunch and maybe stop by a Go salon?”

 

Waya glanced over to check with Isumi, then nodded. “Sure.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Akira bowed lower than usual to his father, finding his resolve slightly shaky under that iron stare. “Father. Are you well?”

 

“I have certainly been better. Are you here to mend this family, or have you come only to argue?”

 

He struggled to suppress all emotion and reaction from influencing his blankly polite expression. “I am here to talk to my father.”

 

His mother entered, setting down a tray of tea for them before she retreated swiftly and silently. It was always a bad sign when his mother refused to be in the room during one of their `discussions'.

 

Perhaps the tea would be able to calm the headache that had been tormenting him for the last half an hour. He was certain that it had been brought on by stress.

 

“I have been working on your behalf, Akira, hoping that you would come to your senses and stop this nonsense before the point of no return is reached. Before you completely cast aside any pride and grace left to you, left to this family.” His father sat down behind the Go-ban, gesturing for Akira to do the same.

 

Reluctantly, he complied. He wasn't in the mood to play his father. But he was here to make peace, so he couldn't very well refuse.

 

He was stung by his father's words, to say the least. “What do you mean, father?” he asked woodenly as they began.

 

“I have found another young lady that would be willing to marry into the Touya family. She has heard all about you, seen your photo and knows your accomplishments and strengths. I spoke to her family, of course, and all parties find the arrangement agreeable. All I need is your consent. Naturally I did not reveal any of our private business to her.”

 

Akira tried desperately to bend his attention upon the game, but it was proving difficult. His emotions were running high, and he was finding it more and more challenging to suppress them, especially since he had become closer to Hikaru. The other boy had always encouraged him to express his emotions, to feel them fully. Would it only be a handicap to him?

 

“Father…I…I know you don't want to hear this, but I love Hikaru. I cannot imagine a life without him. A life without him is a life without value. I could never betray him.”

He glanced up to find his father's eyes on him, stern and unforgiving.

 

“Akira, you're confused right now. You have spent your formative years in too close a rivalry with this boy, and it has become something more. Had I known, I would have acted to sunder the two of you long before now. You say to me that you could never betray him. But do your mother and I mean so little to you that you have no qualms about your betrayal of us?”

 

“Father!” he gasped, pained. “I have not betrayed you or mother.”

 

“Your feelings for Hikaru are not healthy, son. Break it off now, before it's too late. I don't want to see your life destroyed like this.”

 

He returned his gaze to the board, staring it down fiercely as he made his move. He could barely concentrate, wanting only to clench his fists, raise his voice or show some sign of how he was feeling. But he couldn't.

 

The Meijin sighed. “Look at this, Akira. We've barely begun this game, and already you've allowed me to cut you here.” His father's strong fingers pointed out a glaring mistake in one of the lower quadrants. “You never used to play with such weakness. It reflects the state of your mind, does it not?”

 

Akira took a deep breath, fighting to remain calm. “Sir…with all due respect, I cannot play to the best of my ability right now. I'm upset.”

 

“If you're upset, it is only because you know that I'm right about this and you're ashamed. Don't be stubborn, Akira. Correct your mistake now. You can even move back in if you agree, son. Your mother and I have missed you.” Though his father's tone was kind, there was steel lying just beneath the surface.

 

Akira passed a hand over his face, trying to dissuade the headache from getting worse. It ignored his gesture, intensifying by stabs and throbs.

 

His father took his silence for encouragement to go on. “You haven't defiled yourself with him, have you? Please tell me you haven't, Akira.”

 

He made a small sound of pain as the headache stabbed violently in response to his surge of anger. “Closeness with Hikaru could only uplift me, father, never defile me.” Though he spoke quietly, his words were audible.

 

“How can you think that!” his father growled.

 

Akira forced himself to look up and meet those angry eyes, doing his best to ignore his headache and the nausea it was beginning to cause. “Because it's true. Because he has made me a better person, and brought so much to my life. I love him more than anything, father, even more than Go.”

 

Touya Kouyo was absolutely silent at that, staring at Akira as if he'd lost his mind. “I'm bringing your mother in to speak with you. I'm done.” With that, his father rose and walked past him and out of the room.

 

He hung his head and reached for the tea, pouring it out into the nearest cup and taking a bracing couple of sips before his mother arrived.

 

She entered quietly and sat down in the space his father had just vacated. “Your father tells me that you can't be reasoned with,” she murmured, soft, dark eyes meeting his briefly before descending to study the Go-ban.

 

Akira sighed heavily, holding his cup close to his chest. “He's the one that can't be reasoned with.”

 

“Tell me. Tell me why you find the thought of marrying a nice girl unbearable, Akira.” Her tone was gentle, yet admonishing.

 

“Because I don't love a nice girl, mother - I love Hikaru.” He tried to keep the exasperation out of his tone, but some of his feeling crept in, anyway.

 

“Just as I thought. Why didn't you tell me when I asked you on the phone before?”

 

He looked up at her sad face, then looked away. “I hadn't admitted it to myself yet. Besides, I was afraid. But fighting it has only hurt Hikaru and I. He tried dating a couple of people when I didn't accept him right off - and I couldn't stand it mother, I couldn't bear it.”

 

“And now?” she pressed.

 

“He broke up with his boyfriend, and we've both admitted that we care about each other. I think we might be able to have a true relationship, finally.” He smiled involuntarily, feeling all over again the relief and joy that the path to Hikaru was, at long last, clear.

 

There was also the fleeting thought of his plans for tonight…

 

“He makes you happy,” his mother observed, smiling faintly.

 

“Yes. I didn't know or feel anything before meeting Hikaru.” Akira laughed a little as he thought of the other boy, eyes moving over the patterns on the Go-ban without seeing them. “Mother…mother, he's silly and irreverent, and he's too impulsive, but I honestly think that you'd like him if you gave him a chance. I'd like for you to get to know him…someday.”

 

“Is he committed to you? Does he love you back?”

 

He thought back to Hikaru's tears and intense emotions. “I'm fairly certain. He broke up with his boyfriend as soon as I told him that I was serious about him.”

 

“Why do boys always complicate things unnecessarily?” his mother asked, watching him with an amused expression.

 

“Mother! That's not true. It's just that…Hikaru and I have always been very competitive and sensitive to each other. I think we knew a long time ago, but we always have to argue and struggle over things before we can work them out and let them be.”

 

“I'll try to bring your father around, but I can't guarantee anything. You understand, don't you?”

 

Akira's eyes widened in surprise and he slowly turning his head to stare at his mother. “You…you would do that for me?”

 

“Of course. You're my son, and I love you. If this is how you are, then I have to accept it. But I can't assure you of anything when it comes to your father. You're both so stubborn.”

 

“Thank you, mother. I love you, too.” He rose, and she rose with him.

 

“I'll walk you out.” She embraced him briefly before turning away.

 

He followed her out of the room, repressing a sigh. It hadn't gone exactly the way he'd wanted, but it had gone much better than he'd expected. Besides, there was always the fact that Hikaru would be with him in a few hours…

 

Akira tipped his head down, hiding the beginnings of a smirk. He would begin planning the details as soon as he returned to his apartment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hikaru hummed softly to himself as he clicked away with the mouse, the melody dropping out every time he found something particularly interesting. He didn't have a machine of his own, so he had begun playing with Akira's while the other boy was in the shower.

 

He had managed to find a Go site that had every article ever written about Akira. In fact, it was something of a shrine to his rival, and it irritated him to read the words of some stranger that thought they knew what Akira was about.

 

Arms slipped around him from behind, startling him, and he realized belatedly that the light in the room had dimmed significantly.

 

“Are you going to be much longer?” Akira breathed into his ear.

 

Hikaru shivered, tilting his head down. The other boy's breath fanned against his neck, sending goosebumps down the right side of his body. “W-why?” he asked faintly.

 

“Because I'd like your full attention,” his friend replied in a low, insistent voice, hands lightly stroking over his clothed chest.

 

It reminded him strongly of last night. He turned his head slightly, eyes skimming up Akira's long, pale arm. Strange, the other boy always seemed to wear long…sleeves…

 

He noticed the candles, then, as well as the fact that his rival's torso was bare. Surely the other wouldn't—

 

Lips caressing the back of his neck shut down his wandering thoughts and he closed his eyes tightly, feeling desire and arousal snaking down his spine to embrace his body like Akira's arms. A hot tongue stroked lightly over the skin at the nape of his neck, and he made an involuntary noise.

 

“So you do like me,” Akira said in a teasing voice. “I was beginning to wonder.”

 

“Stop being so sexy,” he muttered, abandoning the mouse to lay one hand over the other boy's. He could feel the other's body heat beating at his defenses and warming his back.

 

“But I want to be sexy,” his rival whispered, hand slipping lower.

 

“Hey, hey, where are you going with that!” he cried, capturing the dangerous hand in one of his own. He turned slightly in the chair and leaned back to look up at Akira.

 

“Where do you think?” The aqua-eyed boy gave him a strange, sly smile before leaning down to breathe across his lips.

 

Hikaru was prepared with another question, but the other pro's tongue slipped in the moment he began to open his mouth, caressing his own boldly. He closed his eyes, his last sight being Akira, looking intense and beautifully serious.

 

Those collarbones…he thought vaguely as fire moved through him from the kiss. He was amazed at how beautiful and delicate the other looked. The lines of that gracefully sculpted frame…what did the rest of that body look like?

 

Akira's hands rose to cup his jaw before stroking his throat with light, possessive fingers. When they broke apart a moment later, the other boy pulled at his shoulders. “Come on, stand up. Come away from the computer.”

 

He rose, turning to face his friend, and was completely shocked when he saw that Akira wore nothing at all. His eyes skimmed over the lithe, pale body before him, the body he'd never seen but had always longed to see, and his mouth dropped open. “A-Akira!” he blurted out stupidly. “You want me!”

 

“Why do you always have to say things like that?” the aqua-eyed boy whispered, looking embarrassed and blushing fiercely. “Of course I want you, Hikaru. This is difficult enough without you saying those sorts of things.”

 

“B-but…but you want me,” he reiterated, realization racing through his brain to short-circuit what little common sense he had. Adrenaline surged through him as he panicked. Sex, sex with Akira! Being that entwined with the other boy would surely melt his brain and kill him.

 

“You're overdressed,” Akira stated flatly, reaching out to lift Hikaru's t-shirt and pull it over his head.

 

He complied, but his thoughts were still racing. What if he did something wrong? He'd only had one experience, and that was as an uke. He felt completely unprepared for this! What if he failed beautiful, perfect Akira?

 

“Why are you the one who thinks too much at times like these?” his rival muttered with amusement, shaking his head.

 

It was as if the other boy had heard his thoughts! Hikaru's attention snapped back to Akira's movements as he felt his jeans and boxers fall to pool around his ankles.

 

“Come on,” Akira whispered, holding his hands out for Hikaru's.

 

The wonderful vision before him made him want to run away in terror. He couldn't possibly fulfill those desires. He wasn't good enough.

 

Akira moved close to press against him full-body. “Stop that,” the other pro whispered against his lips, hands moving to cradle Hikaru's hips before pulling them demandingly against Akira's own. “Have I failed you in some way, Hikaru, that you can only think right now?” Drawing back slightly, those aqua eyes gazed down into his, full of challenge.

 

“Of course not,” he forced out through his distraction, driven wild by the heat of the other's velvety flesh pressed against his. He could feel Akira's arousal very clearly, just like his own. The wanting was racing through his body like a disease, and there was no way for him to temper it.

 

“Then what are you waiting for?” the aqua-eyed boy asked in a low, husky voice, fingers skimming down Hikaru's spine and over his backside.

 

He gasped, leaning harder into the other boy as the feelings jolted through him. It was as if those fingers could move right through him, brushing the center of his being every time they stroked his skin.

 

Hikaru closed his eyes, trembling as Akira's hands worked their magic on him. Hot, silken lips teased his ear, then the side of his neck, his rival's tongue delicately tasting him from time to time. He couldn't bear it. He'd be broken into pieces from the trembling, from the shaking, fierce feelings that took him over every time.

 

“Do you want this or not?” his friend purred into his ear, hands gently kneading the flesh of Hikaru's hips and buttocks as Akira's hips rolled gently into his.

 

He shuddered at the feeling, mouth opening soundlessly as the heat that possessed him wound even deeper. Did he want this? He ached for it. He nodded mutely, unable to suppress his shivering or to hide it from Akira.

 

Hikaru opened his eyes as the other guided him, ascertaining that they were indeed moving to the bed. He would take control soon as seme, but it was so wonderful to feel Akira's desire, the driving force of the other boy's will pushing them forward.

 

He couldn't stop staring at Akira, couldn't stop his eyes from roaming over the hollows that the shadows pooled in, the way the light gilded and flickered over every angle of the incredible person before him.

 

As he moved to lie back on the bed reluctantly, the other pro followed like a shadow to fall gently over him, pressing passionate, urgent kisses against Hikaru's lips over and over. The aqua-eyed boy was sharing his breath between kisses, and he thought he had never felt anything so intimate. It only made the need inside of him grow more intense, more demanding.

 

He could barely breathe through the passion that strangled him and raged through his body, replacing his blood with its white, molten heat. Akira's fingers seemed to be tracing the lines of his body, as if trying to memorize him, and the desire followed.

 

Why couldn't he stop shaking? It was embarrassing.

 

Akira only smiled gently, never saying a word about the trembling. In fact, it seemed as if there was a satisfaction in the aqua eyes that skimmed over Hikaru's uncontrolled body.

 

He couldn't seem to find enough strength or will to resist or take over yet. It was addictive and enticing to be the absolute focus of the other boy for any amount of time, especially like this. Every time he thought to rise, those hands and fingers caressed him in some new and devastating way, sending ripples of pleasure shivering through him to destroy his intent and his objective.

 

Akira moved back to kneel between his legs, fingers trailing down his sides as the aqua-eyed boy leaned down to deliver hot, wet kisses to his stomach. Those fingers slipped unexpectedly over his hips to torture his inner thighs with fleeting and warm touches.

 

Hikaru jerked and gasped involuntarily, startled and alarmed by his rival's sudden movement, not to mention the violent surge of the desire that had already consumed him.

 

“Relax,” Akira whispered against the overheated flesh, fingers tormenting Hikaru with ruthless deliberation.

 

“It's hard when…my whole body is tight and shaking like this,” he ground out, staring up at his friend like a cornered animal.

 

The other boy smirked slightly, stroking his hips as if to calm him, but it definitely did not have a soothing effect on him, nor did the kisses that moved lower and lower. He untwisted his fingers from the sheets and reached down to stroke them through his love's silken hair.

 

“I want to touch you,” Hikaru whispered insistently, twisting restlessly under Akira.

 

“Soon,” the other boy assured him, voice vibrating against his body immediately above the flesh that ached so badly.

 

He moaned, arching helplessly against his friend. Lips and fingers caressed the hottest part of him without warning, forcing him to buck and cry out loudly. Firm hands pressed him back into the bed while Akira's lips and tongue teased him, barely touching him, and then only for the briefest of moments.

 

The wet heat that teased and toyed him was pushing him to the breaking point. “Akira!” he cried desperately, clenching his hands in the other boy's hair. “Please!”

 

The aqua-eyed boy unfolded from his curled position, leaning to kiss Hikaru again. “Can't take it?” his rival taunted sweetly, aqua eyes like liquid heat. “But I like you like this.”

 

He strained upwards for Akira's kiss, craving more.

 

“At least you aren't thinking anymore,” his friend murmured, brushing his thumb over Hikaru's parted lips.

 

“No,” Hikaru breathed, gently nipping the finger. He captured the other boy's wrist and used the hand in Akira's hair to pull the other down to him.

 

He lost himself in their kiss, trying to melt into Akira and become one with him. If they kissed each other any more deeply, he would drown. If they could become one, those eyes, those lips and the person in his arms…would always be inseparable from him. They weren't even together yet, not really, but he couldn't tolerate the thought of being separated any further than this from Akira. It made him even more desperate to make love to his friend - as close as he could come to becoming one with him.

 

This was what he had been afraid of - that being this close to his rival would lose him forever. Hikaru was at his mercy, as always. Their power struggle would always continue. Neither one of them would ever be content to lie there compliantly.

 

Hikaru tried to sit up again, but was once more pressed back. Akira broke their kiss to give him a determined look.

 

“No, Hikaru, lie still.”

 

“But I want to make love to you,” he insisted, frowning up at the other boy. “Besides, you said I could touch you.”

 

Akira smiled. “Touch away. But you're staying where you are, and you're going to let me do this.”

 

“Do what?” he asked anxiously, becoming slightly suspicious and alarmed.

 

“It's all right,” the aqua-eyed boy murmured, smiling that sly, peculiar smile again as a hand slipped under the other pillow to retrieve…lubricant??

 

Hikaru's eyes went wide. “Oh, no, Akira. No! I'm supposed to be seme, and I'll be—“

 

“Oh? Is that so? And just what gave you that idea?” Akira brought their faces closed together again, aqua eyes aggressive and possessive.

 

He swallowed, struggling against the fresh spike of desire driven into him by those eyes. “Ah…I…thought…”

 

“Lie there,” Akira murmured huskily against his lips before kissing him again.

 

Hikaru tried to keep an eye on the other boy's hands, but it was terribly difficult when one of those hands was currently engaged in driving him mad again, as well as the fact that he was trying to survive being kissed senseless. His own hands were busy tracing over Akira's spine and lower back, unable to hover for any longer.

 

He felt a slick, cool finger gently stroke his entrance and thought to twist away from it, but then Akira's other hand coasted up his thigh to wrap around that ache, driving every thought from his head as he moaned into his friend's mouth.

 

His awareness had narrowed down to the feel of those strong and beautiful fingers around him, holding him, wanting him. It only increased the tight, desperate ache that had taken over his lower body. The feeling was driving him mad, and was like nothing else he'd ever experienced, either by himself or with Kota.

 

He was barely aware of the discomfort and strangeness, as lost as he was in the sensation of his rival's lips and hands. The only communication he was capable of at the moment were inarticulate cries, and those were muffled in their kiss.

 

Akira drew back again, giving him a solemn, tender look. “Are you ready?”

 

Hikaru suddenly became aware of the other boy's fingers inside of him, and he blushed through the flush of arousal already suffusing his face. “Ah,” he replied breathily, reaching out to stroke his fingers over Akira's stomach. He could feel the muscles jumping under his fingertips.

 

The aqua-eyed boy prepared himself, then lifted Hikaru's hips, slowly pushing his way in.

 

Hikaru clenched his teeth, tossing his head from side to side to withstand the feeling. It was painful and strange, filling him in a way that his body couldn't seem to comprehend. But it was Akira.

 

He was distracted from the less-than-pleasant feelings by Akira's fingers surrounding his flesh and caressing him once again. There was nothing tentative or teasing about it this time. The other boy's touch was firm and had him panting hard in moments, fighting for his breath.

 

He managed to open his eyes to look up at Akira's face, and was enchanted by the look he caught there. It was an urgent, tense and sexy look, only enhanced by the clenched teeth and deeply flushed cheeks.

 

“Can I…can I move?” Akira gasped out, eyes opening to meet his. Their aqua fire glimmered like the ocean in the flickering candlelight.

 

“Yes.” He felt that his body had adjusted enough to handle the sensation.

 

Akira began moving slowly at first, but picked up speed when Hikaru rewarded him with breathless cries.

 

As Hikaru listened to his rival's low moans and greeted that body over and over again with his, he was forced to revise his opinion. He couldn't handle the situation - it was handling him. He had wrapped his arms and legs tightly about Akira, just holding on as the other boy thrust into him over and over, silky hair brushing his throat and cheeks repeatedly.

 

“'Kira…nnn…please…&# 8221; he choked out, tormented.

 

Akira's teeth found his ear and bit down lightly, tongue tasting him, but no other response was forthcoming.

 

Always, always…please let it always be us…

 

“Are…you…mine?” the aqua-eyed boy panted into his ear.

 

Hikaru moaned through his teeth in what he hoped sounded like affirmation, back arching in response to the onslaught of sensation and the over-the-edge intensity of Akira inside of him.

 

“Hikaru,” Akira gasped into his ear. Time seemed to stop for a long, heavy moment, wrapping them in a flooding warmth.

 

Then Akira cried out much more loudly, movements becoming erratic and frenetic as he embraced Hikaru tightly with one arm, the other hand still otherwise occupied between them.

 

Hikaru arched his body one last time to meet Akira's, and then he was lost to the fury of their pleasure and connection. He was shaking violently in his rival's embrace, trying to swallow and choke back the love that welled up too forcefully.

 

Too much. Akira would notice…but all he wanted was for the two of them to stay like this.

 

Awareness of his surroundings swept back like blood returning to pressed flesh, and he opened his eyes to find soft aqua eyes watching him. Hikaru watched as Akira lifted a hand towards him to brush at first one cheek and then the other, and realized with mortification that he had shed tears. Tears from the emotion of completely joining with the one he loved for the first time.

 

“Do you, now?” Akira asked softly, mysterious, sweet smile still in place.

 

“Do I what?” Hikaru asked, confused.

 

The other pro blinked, surprised. “You didn't realize it?”

 

He stared, shaking his head.

 

His friend laughed a little in delight, cupping Hikaru's cheek with a warm hand. “You said that you loved me, you little fool.”

 

Hikaru gasped, raising a hand to cover his mouth as if he could take it back. “Did I really?”

 

“Yes,” Akira replied slowly, arching a brow. “Did you want to take it back? I would have thought that you'd mean something that you blurted out unintentionally like that.”

 

“No, of course I don't…just…I'm surprised. I do, I really do, but I never wanted to…to scare you away by putting such a weight on you.” Hikaru looked away, feeling lonely and vulnerable.

 

Akira turned Hikaru's face back to his. “Don't be ridiculous,” the other boy chided. “I love you, too. But I wanted to be certain before saying such a thing to you.”

 

“I've loved you for years,” Hikaru murmured candidly, raising a hand to touch his rival's cheek lightly.

 

“I never knew what love was before you…but I think that I must have loved you for some time, as well. Will you be…with me?”

 

He nodded emphatically, pulling Akira down to lie on his chest. “That's what I want most in the world. What I've always wanted.”

 

After a long, silent moment, Akira spoke again. “That wasn't so bad, was it?”

 

“I am not an uke!” Hikaru exclaimed passionately. Akira didn't answer him, but he thought he felt the other boy smile against his chest. “I'm not,” he repeated firmly, tapping a warning against his friend's shoulder blade.

 

Why didn't anyone ever take him seriously? He sighed resignedly.

 

Hikaru didn't bother to fight as the warmth of his new lover's body lulled him to sleep. He was exactly where he wanted to be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Replies to reviews:

 

 

MewMew2 - I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a bad time of it! Don't worry about reviewing the story. I hope that everything works out for you.

 

Shihiru - Thank you! Yes, Akira as seme! Something a little different, yeah? :D Glad you like!

 

bb - Fear not! I don't think that I could take any more angst, either! Ha, that's a lie, I'm an angst-master, I think. It comes quite naturally! But I'm not going to make this depressing! As I said to someone else, I don't have time in the fic for any more angst! ^_-; Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much!

 

Verloren - Ah! I'm terribly flattered! *^_^* Thank you! Well, despite the OC, if you can believe that the characters would actually do/wear/act whatever, then I'm glad! I'm glad that it's believable anyway! I've delved fairly deeply into their psyches, their emotions, and a lot of that is blind and based on what relatively little we know about them as human beings. It's challenging! So if I've succeeded even a little, I'm happy. :D Thank you! <hugs back>

 

Flafful - Wow, that's a huge compliment! Thank you! I am honored that you consider my fic as being one of those good/awesome ones, and the perfect balance of anything, at that!

 

Hakuza - Ha-ku-ZA! There you are! :P I did get the email, I just responded and sent it right back! ^_^ Oh no! Why is January 22nd the saddest day!? (Don't tell me it's because of the lack of update!? :o <guilt!>)

 

Wandering Muse - OOooo. :D A stalker, all right!! XD Thank yooou! As long as you make me tea while I'm writing and do something about my annoying job, I would not resist! :D I know, everyone is totally scandalized that poor Hikaru actually lost his virginity to KOTA, of all people. I wanted to keep it somewhat `real' and not allow it to be ::too:: idealistic. Granted, everyone wants to have the perfect love and have the first person they're intimate with be exactly the one they want…but that never happens. But at least they have their love to get them through the mistakes and confusion, right? Yeah, you're right. Boys hardly ever ::talk:: about things like feelings and issues. :D Girls don't always, either, but boys definitely win on that one. <peeks out window to see if she can spot Wandering Muse> Hmm, no Muse! Come out of hiding and I'll give you, uh…<riffles through her room> Yaoi stories about elves? I don't know! What would lure you out? :D

 

 

 

 

Okay, this second author's note was mostly for some response on FFnet, but I'm sure some of you are thinking the same things, so I'll put it here, too!

 

A/N 2: Oo, interesting. Got quite a response from you guys on Akira's possessiveness and obsession! Ok, let's respond to that. ;) All my opinion, of course.

 

Akira had only his Go before Hikaru came along, and never really had to deal with anyone his own age being close to him. He's somewhat socially maladjusted, at the very least, and has a rather rigid personality. He's also the most likely to snap, in my opinion - but don't worry, I'm not going there!

 

Now he has someone that can be taken away from him. He'd probably be thinking, “Okay, if I capture enough territory, he's permanently mine!” You guys read how he was lying awake, disturbed by the fact that he couldn't `map' the patterns of Hikaru and that they would keep changing on him.

 

Someone can be possessive of you and obsessed about you and still love you. Possible bad situation, yeah, but it's true - and the extent of the possessiveness is important to note. If someone starts forbidding you to see your friends or is screening your calls, run! :D

 

I doubt Akira would go that far, but even if he did, I don't think Hikaru would run. He's too stuck on Akira. I think he'd put up with too much.

And you can bet if Hikaru had any competition for Akira's attention, he'd be just as jealous and possessive - and he's already obsessed. ;)

 

Everyone loves different people differently. (That's a mouthful.) Akira and Hikaru would definitely have one of those intense, focused loves with each other, in my opinion. All of the chasing, stalking and internal conversations they had with each other…hmmm. The fact that Akira loses it over Hikaru, even crying in front of other people, was like a flag being wildly waved to me. ;) The second he finds out where Hikaru is, he's off and running. If Hikaru runs, he simply chases him. Innnteresting.

 

And if you want to talk about obsession, they breathed, slept and ate Go/each other for years - a sure sign. ;) I'm just working with it, that's all. They were already extremely obsessed with each other.

 

Which is great. Fluffy, vague feelings make me itch!

 

<--intense person