Hikaru No Go Fan Fiction ❯ The Extent of Denial ❯ Possession ( Chapter 32 )

A/N: Oh, MAN. I'm sorry that this took so long. I was violently ill one of the weekends that I was supposed to work on this, so it was delayed. Not to mention my difficulty with writing the end of things. ::sigh:: I'll never give up!

 

 

 

 

 

Isumi sighed as he put the last plate in the rack to dry. Since he and Waya had become an item, the other boy spent practically every moment at Isumi's place, which meant that he ended up feeding Waya more often than not. Which meant…infinite dishes, somehow.

 

He turned his head towards his bedroom, where he assumed Waya was still trying to hide under the sheets. “Waya…you're going to do the dishes next time. I can't recall the last time you washed anything. Or cooked anything. Or even put anything away.”

 

Isumi thought he heard a grumbled response and made his way back into the bedroom, determined to disturb Waya. “You ungrateful little monster, get out of bed!” he demanded, jabbing a finger into the twisted nest of sheet and blanket.

 

A hand snaked out suddenly and latched onto his wrist, jerking him down a little. Waya's head emerged from under a lump of sheet, amber eyes disgruntled and narrow. “I have been so sleep-deprived since hooking up with you, Isumi. Let me sleep!”

 

Isumi frowned down at his sleep-rumpled lover. “If you don't like it, you could always sleep at home one of these nights.”

 

Waya released Isumi's wrist, turning on his side to face him with a little huff of annoyed breath. “Hmph. You're so mean. All I want is to be with you. I can't…” The auburn-haired boy trailed off, refusing to meet Isumi's eyes.

 

“What?” he asked in a gentler tone than before, sensing something beneath the surface.

 

“I can't really sleep when I'm not here,” Waya confessed quietly, closing his eyes.

 

Isumi straightened, shocked. He would never have believed that the other boy would say something so sweet to him. Perhaps Waya didn't realize?

 

“I can't sleep without you, either,” he said softly, leaning down to stroke a hand through his lover's unruly hair.

 

Waya smiled faintly, but quickly hid it by tucking his chin and huddling into the blanket. “I want to live with you.”

 

Isumi sighed. “You can't, Waya. People would know right away what was going on if you moved in with me. It would have to be a much larger place, with two bedrooms and two beds. We can't afford that.”

 

“I'm sick of being so far away from you,” the amber-eyed boy muttered rebelliously, brows drawing down into a truly spectacular scowl. The blanket muffled the words, but it didn't lessen the impact of Waya's tone and attitude.

 

“I know, but there's nothing to be done right now.” His voice came out sounding a little stern.

 

Waya glared up at him, pushing the blanket away. “I'll bet you like being able to keep me at a distance and separate from your life,” the other boy shot back in an accusatory tone.

 

Isumi's eyes widened. “Waya! I do not. Don't be ridiculous. I love you, and I would like nothing better than to be able to relax into that feeling and have you with me all of the time. But be sensible! We can't do that right now.”

 

“I don't want to be `sensible',” Waya said, sneering the last word as if the very concept were disgusting. “I want to be with you completely.” He turned away, facing the wall with his back to Isumi.

 

“Do you really love me that much, Yoshitaka?” Isumi asked somberly.

 

“I may be slow when it comes to emotional things, Shin, but I would think you'd know how I feel by now.” Waya's tone was surly and bitter, sullenness permeating the air around the other boy.

 

“You didn't answer my question,” Isumi replied coolly.

 

Waya turned and sat up suddenly, the sheets falling back to reveal his naked, slender shoulders and torso. Amber eyes flared with anger as they met Isumi's. “Yes, I love you! I thought that was already settled. Isn't it clear enough? I had to overcome some serious hang-ups to be with you, but the feelings were strong enough. I can't sleep without you. They're strong enough for that, too. And I'm insanely jealous whenever you go off with other people. I can't control myself when it comes to you. What do you think? Geez.”

 

Isumi smiled a little as he studied the other boy, eyes lingering on the passionate marks that his mouth had left on that tawny skin. The late morning light gilded and warmed Waya's angry countenance and wild hair.

 

Aware of Isumi's scrutiny, Waya's gaze fell to rest on the floor, faint color staining his cheeks. “Why are you looking at me like that?” the other boy grumbled, fists clenching in the sheets.

 

“Because you're adorable. And I'm glad to be having an argument of this nature with you.”

 

“Isumi!” Waya cried, glaring up at him again. This time, however, there was a touch of vulnerability in the amber eyes. “You make me say these stupid, embarrassing things, and then you say embarrassing things to me! I'm not adorable. Only animals and children get called `adorable'!”

 

He couldn't repress the smirk that ghosted over his face. “You do act like an animal, sometimes…”

 

“You want to see me act like an animal?!” Waya threatened, rising up on his knees.

 

Isumi watched as the sheets fell further, revealing the rest of his lover's body. “I'd love to,” he said with a slow smile.

 

Waya gasped as if just realizing that he'd revealed himself, then curled up in an attempt to hide his nudity. “You're trying to trick me!” the amber-eyed boy exclaimed indignantly to the bed. “I know how this goes!”

 

Ironically, Isumi found his lover's back quite alluring, too, so Waya had not truly removed temptation by hiding everything else. He found that back beautiful, and he had memories of the image in many situations, some of which were definitely not innocent.

 

Isumi leaned down and ran a finger over the gentle ridges of Waya's spine, following them up to the other boy's neck.

 

Waya shuddered, hands coming up to protect the vulnerable point. “Isumi, stop it!”

 

He grabbed the slender wrists and held them tightly, pulling the hands away and down as he leaned close to set his teeth against the back of Waya's neck. “Now where's that tattoo?” he murmured, burying his nose in the fringe of his lover's hair.

 

“Stooop!!” Waya squirmed helplessly, trying to duck away, but Isumi's arms on either side kept him neatly bracketed.

 

“Is that whining I hear? Whining from tough, invincible Yoshi-kun? My little Waya?” His tone was teasing and unrepentant as he nuzzled into the other boy's neck.

 

“You're dead!” Waya growled, struggling more determinedly. “You know I hate `Yoshi-kun'! Stop calling me adorable and little! I'll show you!”

 

“If I set you free, the only thing you'll be doing is undressing me,” he replied in a low voice, biting the curve of Waya's neck a little more sharply than he had intended.

 

Waya flinched and made a small sound in response, almost like a little cry cut off.

 

It drove him mad when the other boy tried to act so strong, so impervious. He needed to see that some vulnerability existed behind those challenging amber eyes. To confirm that he was truly and deeply wanted.

 

“I need to shower…if you want to do this…” Waya murmured in an unsteady voice, head remaining down.

 

“Do you want it?” he asked softly, massaging his lover's wrists a little as he held them. Finding the tattoo, he laid light, feathery kisses upon it.

 

Waya mumbled something to the bed again.

 

“What was that? I couldn't hear you, as I'm sure you know.”

 

“I said that I always want you,” Waya snapped.

 

“You don't act like it,” he retorted, pressing his chest more tightly against the other boy's back.

 

At last his friend's head lifted, and Waya's head turned to the side, pinning Isumi with one amber eye. “Do you want me to act like an animal in heat or something?”

 

The thought jolted him. “No,” he replied instantly, disturbed, but something deep inside of him replied with a resounding `yes'. The thought of Waya being eager, desperate and out of control with him was almost too seductive to push away. Yet he valued his lover's strength and self-possession.

 

Sometimes, then.

 

Isumi released Waya, straightening and backing away a little. He didn't trust himself. With how he felt at the moment, he might seek to press his lover into something with less dignity than the other boy found acceptable. As it was, Waya seemed to think that his dignity was compromised every time they made love.

 

Why did he feel so strange, so wrong? Why did he seek to expose by other means the vulnerability that Waya refused him? He should be satisfied with what he had now.

 

But the more time he spent with Waya, the more he loved him. And the more he loved him, the more he wanted of him.

 

He had always been an unassuming person, a sensitive person, content to take what others would offer and leave it at that. Why was it so different now? How could he be so demanding and selfish with Waya? Possibly even hurtful?

 

“Isumi?” Waya asked cautiously, amber eyes concerned.

 

“Go ahead, go take your shower. I'm sorry, Waya, don't worry about it. I didn't mean to press you.” He turned away, running a hand through his hair, and pulled a book off of the shelf at random as he retreated from the room.

 

He stationed himself on the couch and found himself reading a book of Go problems. At least it would be mentally absorbing. Perhaps it could keep him from coveting things that he shouldn't.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Waya stood before the mirror in the humid bathroom and stared at his reflection through the condensation on the glass. He could just see the vague suggestion of a skinny boy staring back. But no matter how he stared, he couldn't figure out what Isumi saw, what Isumi had been staring at with that hungry look.

 

What more could the older boy want from him? Had he failed him somehow? He had thought for a long time in the shower, but still wasn't any closer to the answer. Isumi said things about love and desire fairly often, asking Waya if he wanted him, if he loved him. It had become something of a regular thing.

 

He always told Isumi that he loved him, and that he definitely wouldn't be sleeping with him if he didn't want him. But it didn't seem to satisfy his lover. It was almost as if the words weren't enough. What more could he possibly offer?

 

In the beginning, just his presence had been enough for the dark-haired boy. But now…

 

Waya touched the marks that Isumi had left on his chest and throat yesterday afternoon when they should have been playing Go, or studying it at the very least. When they made love, it was almost as if the other boy was trying to become a permanent part of him, or find a way to absorb his soul. Like a succubus…

 

No one would ever believe him if he tried to tell them how passionate and aggressive Isumi was. The stoic demeanor and calm blue eyes were very deceptive, especially when their owner was disguised within his respectable and reserved clothing.

 

He was pleased beyond words that those feelings were only for him, that he was the only person that Isumi felt that way about. But it also disturbed him a little. His lover was pushing harder and harder, but Waya didn't know what exactly it was that the dark-haired boy wanted so much, so he couldn't give it to him. What if he didn't have the means to give Isumi whatever that thing was?

 

Waya bowed his head and opened the bathroom door, determined to satisfy whatever craving it was that his lover had. He lifted his eyes as he left the warm, safe space, locating Isumi on the couch. The other boy was staring at him, looking a little surprised and confused.

 

He climbed onto Isumi's lap, straddling his lover's thighs, and took that stunned face in his hands. Seriously, he gazed into the deep-ocean eyes that were trained on his. “Whatever it is you want, Shinichiro, take it. I don't know what it is, but I want to give it to you. Anything you want…” He faltered, allowing his head to fall forward so that his forehead was resting against Isumi's.

 

Isumi was silent.

 

“I love you more than anything,” Waya choked out as he closed his eyes tightly, struggling to keep a grip on his composure. “But all I have…are words.” His voice broke, but he didn't care at the moment. “What is it you want?” he asked tremulously. “Is there something…that I can give you?”

 

Isumi embraced him with painful tightness. “I want you to forget about everything but me when we're intimate,” the dark-haired boy replied in a strained, roughened voice. “Even yourself.”

 

He opened his eyes in surprise and Isumi's were right there, meeting his strongly.

 

“I want you to leave your self-control and pride wherever you drop your clothes,” Isumi elaborated, blue eyes full of longing and pain. “I want everything that you are…to be mine without reservation. But I can't…ask that.”

 

Waya drew in a deep breath and released it slowly, closing his eyes again. He should have known it would be something like that. Something difficult, maybe even impossible for him. Isumi already made him feel so much, and he didn't know what pride the other boy was talking about. He felt as if he became someone else when they were `intimate', as his lover always put it. He couldn't fight the feelings, and he couldn't even control his body, so he didn't know what was meant by `self-control'. He always felt as if he were shameless and too eager when they were together.

 

Apparently, Isumi felt differently. What it sounded like to him was a request for more affection.

 

“Okay,” he assented, tilting his head slightly so that he could brush a kiss over Isumi's lips.

 

“Waya…you don't know what you're saying…don't agree so easily…”

 

“I said `okay',” Waya muttered, pressing a harder kiss to those unresponsive lips.

 

“Waya, it might be more than you—“

 

He opened his eyes, annoyed, and met Isumi's anxious blue gaze. “Oh, for the love of…!” He stroked his tongue insistently against the seal of the other boy's mouth as he kissed him again, waiting.

 

Slowly, Isumi opened his mouth, allowing Waya inside. Waya took advantage immediately and plunged in as far as he could go, his hands rising to unbutton the other boy's damnable shirt as they kissed.

 

Isumi moaned into his mouth, expression pained as his hands closed over Waya's shoulders.

 

He gasped back as his body responded, deliberately failing to stifle it. This was surely what the other boy wanted. Even if it was terribly embarrassing and made him feel exposed, he would try for Isumi.

 

The hands clenching on his shoulders were a little painful, but he didn't say anything. He didn't want to say anything that sounded like a rejection of any part of Isumi.

 

Waya broke the kiss and pulled away slowly, sliding off of the couch to stand. At the other boy's confused look, he held out his hands for Isumi's. When he was finally rewarded with them, he pulled his lover up, firmly leading him back to the bed.

 

Isumi pulled his hands away suddenly when they reached the bedside, expression tormented. “I don't want to make you go through this with me. I'm being too demanding—“

 

Waya caught the other boy's hands again and turned, wrapping Isumi's arms around him from behind. He pressed back against his lover's warm body, feeling completely surrounded and happy to be so. “I want you to hold me,” he said insistently. “And I want to give you whatever you need. Stop pulling back.”

 

Isumi embraced him more tightly, lips finding his ear. “I need to be everything to you. I need you to let go. Can you handle that?”

 

He shivered as the dark-haired boy's warm breath became intimate with his ear. “Yes,” he replied breathlessly, even though the very idea would have been unacceptably frightening to him not so long ago.

 

“Then touch me,” Isumi whispered.

 

Waya turned in the circle of his lover's arms, gazing up into Isumi's vulnerable look. It was a private expression, one that no one but him would ever see. He had to admit that it fed a need within him when his usually composed friend was emotional with him.

 

He pushed the unbuttoned shirt from the other boy's shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, and ran his hands up Isumi's sides. It earned him a shudder, and hands rising to caress his neck and cheeks. Waya leaned into the touch, smiling despite himself.

 

Isumi had made him soft. That was embarrassing, too, but only the two of them had to know. It was okay if those blue eyes saw him naked like this, both physically and emotionally. He knew that he was `safe' inside of the warmth that surrounded him; the warmth of his lover.

 

And if it wasn't as safe as it felt, he didn't care anymore. As he gazed up into Isumi's loving, needing eyes, he thought that nothing would be too much to sacrifice for this. Maybe even himself, if that was ever necessary.

 

That was frightening. But he didn't pull away. He was already completely committed. And he didn't want things any other way. Besides, it was better that he be hurt than he hurt Isumi. He had already decided on that.

 

But seeing the shining look in Isumi's eyes every time they were fixed on him made him feel fairly confident that he would never have to worry about being deeply hurt by the dark-haired boy. If anything, it was Isumi that would hurt himself. And so Waya had to protect him from himself.

 

He reached up, draping his arms about Isumi's neck, and splayed his fingers over the warm, naked shoulder blades, wondering idly how a boy's skin could be so soft. “I love you,” he whispered, staring into those blue eyes as he leaned up to reach the other boy's lips.

 

Relief flashed through Isumi's eyes the moment before they closed. “Thank you, Yoshitaka.”

 

Waya paused before their lips touched. “Don't be stupid! There's nothing to thank me for. If anything, I should be the one thanking you.”

 

He wanted to cringe at being called `Yoshitaka', but he didn't complain. If it made Isumi happy to call him his wretched given name, he would live with it.

 

Isumi's eyes opened halfway to regard him in bemusement. “What do you have to thank me for?”

 

At this rate, he would never get them into the bed! “All kinds of things.” He undid the buckle of Isumi's belt with swift, deft fingers, working on the fastenings of the dark-haired boy's pants as he continued to speak. “Love. Great conversation. Great food. Great games. Great sex. I'd still be in brutal denial without you.” He watched in satisfaction as the last of Isumi's clothing fell to the floor with his assistance.

 

“Ah…” Isumi looked down, surprised at his sudden nakedness, and blushed a little. It was obvious to both of them that he was still interested, despite all of the talking.

 

“I was wondering,” Waya muttered, smirking a little. He pressed their bodies together again, rubbing against Isumi's heat like the animal he had been accused of being.

 

The dark-haired boy gave a little gasp, then bore Waya down onto the bed with his weight, blue eyes dark and determined. “Do you truly have to wonder?”

 

He stared helplessly at his friend's body, the blood rising in his face. Isumi was straddling him and pinning him down with hands on his shoulders, so he was doubly restrained. As much as he cherished being helpless, he thought perhaps a role reversal was finally in order.

 

“What is it?” Isumi asked at his silence, frowning slightly in concern.

 

“I was…wondering,” he began hesitantly, eyes heatedly tracing the angles of the other boy's body. “Am I still forbidden…from topping you?”

 

“You actually want to?” Isumi's expression was one of stunned surprise.

 

Images of the other boy thrashing beneath him flashed through his head. “Yes, I want to. Why do you sound so surprised? Geez. You're hot, don't you know that?” He blushed harder at his own words, but they had to be said. He didn't know where all of Isumi's insecurity had come from, but it would only get worse until he managed to address it somehow.

 

The dark-haired boy gave him a peculiar smile, shadowed eyes regarding him with faint amusement. “I can't believe that you said something like that.”

 

“Yeah, me either. Stop talking, okay?” He reached down between their bodies to wrap his fingers about Isumi's arousal. The burning heat of the flesh in his hand sent a thrill through him, shocking his body into a deeper desire. It almost made him want to take back his topping request. But there would be time for that later.

 

Isumi moaned, eyes closing as his back arched involuntarily. “God…Waya,” his friend breathed after a moment, one blue eye opening slightly to fix on him. “You don't play around, do you?”

 

He grinned. “So can I? I want to see you like that again.”

 

“If you…really want to,” the other boy replied, looking almost shy.

 

“I do. How many fucking times do I have to say it, and assure you that I meant to say it?” He laughed to take any possible sting out of the words. “You're enough to drive anyone with any sort of sex drive crazy with all of this hand fluttering and anxiety and `are you sure, are you sure?'. Geez.”

 

“Waya…” Isumi warned sternly, glowering at him. “Don't be obnoxious if you want to be seme.”

 

He cringed, lifting his hands in surrender. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but it's true. I don't know how else to tell you that I want it.” Waya wriggled out from under Isumi and leaned towards the desk, yanking the top drawer open. He grabbed the lubricant and shoved it under a pillow.

 

“You don't even want to look at it until you're ready, do you?” Isumi asked suspiciously.

 

Waya gave a little yell of frustration, slamming his head back against the pillow. “Shinichiro. Please. Lie. Down. I don't care about looking at it, but I don't want to have to go looking for it in the middle of everything!”

 

Those blue eyes regarded him doubtfully.

 

Pushing Isumi down suddenly and a little forcefully, he pinned the larger boy against the bed and descended on him. It had aroused him to have his lover being so possessive and direct earlier, but after he had taken his shower, Isumi had been like this.

 

Waya rested his full weight on the beautiful body beneath his, moving so that his desire made flesh brushed against Isumi's. The dark-haired boy arched his back and choked back a gasp, but those oceanic eyes remained open just the slightest bit, watching him.

 

He repeated the movement over and over, tormenting his own body as well as they trembled and breathed together as one, the time between their twinned breaths becoming shorter and shorter.

 

Waya leaned in to gently bite the sensitive skin beneath the corner of Isumi's jaw, inhaling the other boy's warm, reassuring scent. He kissed his way towards his lover's chin, tongue tentatively lapping at the skin he encountered on the way there.

 

His awareness of everything but the person he loved faded away, and as if they had both had the same thought, his right hand and Isumi's left found each other and embraced, fingers folding over each other at the same moment.

 

He laid silent kisses of worship down the dark-haired boy's throat and across his smooth chest, teasing the nipple closest to his mouth with fleeting licks and nips. Isumi writhed more forcefully beneath him, fingers alternately clenching and relaxing in the back of Waya's still damp hair.

 

As he moved down to scrape his teeth across the tight, shaking tension that was Isumi's stomach and abdomen, he realized that the other boy was moaning his name out slowly over and over again in a senseless litany. It was something that tended to happen when they were like this. He grinned a moment, but had to stop in order to continue with what he was doing. But it was sweet, and he loved to hear it.

 

Waya wrapped his fingers gently around the other boy's hot, hard flesh that was pressing insistently against the base of his throat, slowly kneading and caressing it as he ran his tongue over the skin of first one hip and then the other.

 

Isumi's hips rolled against Waya eagerly, the dark-haired boy's litany devolving into a series of whimpers and wanting sounds.

 

“Shh…” he faux-soothed his impassioned lover, secretly very satisfied with the reactions he was provoking with his attentions. He ignored the fierce, painful ache of his own arousal and sat up, leaning over Isumi to retrieve the lubricant from under the other pillow.

 

Waya returned to his previous position of practically lying on Isumi with his face just level with his lover's hips, forced to bend his knees and keep his feet in the air just to stay in the bed comfortably. Didn't matter. It was easy enough to manage.

 

He inched down a little and rubbed his cheek softly against Isumi's hardness, forcing a loud cry out of the dark-haired boy and earning bucking hips, as well. He turned his head a little more to brush a kiss over the throbbing flesh. “Do you like that?” he murmured against his beloved's sex as he held it cupped to his lips, sly and taunting.

 

Isumi was panting hard and writhing without control against the bed, but managed to lift his head and open his eyes slightly to look at Waya. “Wa…” the dark-haired boy managed to gasp out.

 

Waya smiled up into the blue eyes and flushed, dazed face, and opened his mouth as Isumi watched, slowly dragging his tongue across the burning flesh he still held before his lips.

 

His friend collapsed against the bed, crying out, hands closing hard enough on his shoulders to be painful.

 

Waya flinched, but didn't protest. However, he knew exactly what that pressure begged of him. “I know,” he murmured, sitting up again. He went about preparing Isumi as quickly as he could, coating his fingers with the lubricant and beginning the necessary stretching immediately.

 

The other boy's body welcomed his fingers, practically drawing them in, and he didn't have to linger over it very long at all. Isumi was plainly starving for him, extreme arousal stamped across his body everywhere that Waya looked.

 

He prepared himself finally, then entered his lover in one swift, hard thrust. Isumi arched into it with his entire body, almost deafening Waya with a loud, sobbing cry that verged on a scream. He set a punishing pace, determined to show his lover that he did want him, and that neither of them would break.

 

“Don't you…see?” he whispered in a raspy, uneven voice between thrusts into his beloved's tight, wet heat. “I'm…incomplete…without you,” he added in the same fashion. The last was delivered directly into the other boy's ear, Isumi's dark, sweat-dampened hair feathering gently against Waya's nose and cheek.

 

As he watched Isumi writhe and spasm in boneless, vulnerable pleasure beneath him, he remembered how very much he had enjoyed being seme last time. Every time he moved, it had a very direct and intoxicating effect on the dark-haired boy. It was horribly arousing to watch, and made him feel a little wicked even as he reveled in provoking it further, fascinated with the effects and the inevitable conclusion.

 

As he felt his own body tightening and gathering itself, he leaned down and licked the corner of Isumi's open, gasping mouth, seeking attention for a kiss. Slowly, the other boy's head turned his way, tilting to accept. A faint glimmer of blue greeted him, showing that the other's eyes were open just the slightest bit. He sank into the sinful, dark heat of his lover's mouth, finding it something like the heat that gripped his body so tightly as he moved into it over and over again, and plunged into both for all he was worth. He wanted to own it all, fill it all, to pour into Isumi and fill him like an ocean. Being held and carried within his beautiful person forever would surely be heaven.

 

He reached down between them and squeezed Isumi's arousal tightly before beginning slow, torturous strokes. It didn't matter that their timing was a little irregular.

 

Can't you feel this? Can't you feel this!! His thoughts were fervent and intense, as if he expected his target to hear him.

 

Isumi suddenly stiffened, body clenching around Waya's, then filled Waya's mouth with cries so forceful that they vibrated into his throat and seemed to shake his body, too. He focused against his lover's bucking and thrashing, still moving but having to hold Isumi's body tightly against his in order to keep it stable enough to receive him.

 

Isumi was holding him tightly as well, legs wrapped around him as if to keep him there forever. As the dark-haired boy came down from the peak of climax, he made soft noises deep in his throat every time Waya moved against him. It was wildly exciting - not that he'd needed any further stimulation, really.

 

His entire body suddenly seized, and he lost himself in deep, wrenching gasps and surges of passion in Isumi's arms. It felt like the other boy's liquid pressure had surrounded him, dragging him under and rolling him over and over like some frail piece of flotsam adrift in a raging ocean. His awareness failed him utterly, focused as tightly as it was by the explosion of pleasure and feeling within his own body, but he knew the other boy would be holding him the entire time.

 

Like water, like liquid, Isumi invaded every part of him and made him feel it, sometimes exquisitely, sometimes painfully, but always strongly.

 

At some point, their kiss had broken, for he became vaguely aware that he was grinding his teeth against the pleasure-pain with his face buried in Isumi's neck and hair. “Nn…” he managed to offer.

 

Isumi was still catching his breath. “Wasn't sure if you were…coming back. You were stunned.”

 

“Ha. Your body just…sucks me in.” Waya closed his eyes as he lay against Isumi's chest, listening to the other boy's heartbeat and erratic breathing as that chest rose and fell beneath his cheek.

 

They lay quiet for many minutes, Isumi's hands gently rubbing his back, and Waya found himself thinking about their first time, and what he had said to his best friend. He had been cruel, brutally cruel in his fear. It must have crushed Isumi's heart to be spoken to so coldly just after their first time. What kind of person was he that he could have said anything like that to someone so close to him, especially when that someone was such a kind and sensitive person?

 

He sighed, lightly stroking his lover's side soothingly. “I was really awful to you that first time. It must have really hurt you. I'm so sorry. I know the words probably don't mean anything, but I really am. I can't believe that you still wanted me after that.”

 

Isumi was silent for a while longer, as if thinking. “Yes, it…did hurt. But I love you, Waya, no matter what. There wasn't really any other choice for me.”

 

He resolved then that he would stay with the other boy no matter what. Whatever Isumi could do to him, it could never be as bad as what he had already put his lover through. He knew it wouldn't be acceptable if he said it…so he wouldn't say it. He would keep it inside and carry it through their relationship, throughout his life.

 

Waya relaxed a little more, feeling as if everything was where it ought to be. Feeling complete. “I love you, too…no matter what.”

 

He listened to Isumi's breathing soften into sleep, closing his own eyes. “Whatever you need…” he whispered.

 

 

 

 

 

A/N #2: Replies to reviews!

 

Shihiru - Yes, I am afraid it is going to be ending soon! I have mixed feelings about having to end it, because I'll miss it in a way.

 

Wandering Muse - Yeah, I'll bet you really almost gave up on it this time! Don't worry, Hikaru won't go back to Kota. ;) That would be wretched, and I'm not quite that bad!

 

Flafful - Thank you! *^_^* I am deeply complimented! And I'm sorry for the tardy update!

 

Verloren - Ahh, so much love, thank you so much! ^_^ (I was feeling the `finally', too!) You're right about Hikaru and Akira switching off - that's rather how I was planning on writing them. I am sorry that this next chapter was not `soon'! I feel so guilty!

 

Someone Gay - Thank you very much. Tell you the truth, I draw on my own emotions and experiences in life to write some of this, and a lot of it is painful. Sorry to have shared that aspect! I know it must be so frustrating to read, but I felt the story would be better for not working out perfectly, also. If you want to drop me an email, feel free - fallen_shadow_feathers@yahoo.com.< /b>