InuYasha Fan Fiction / Love Hina Fan Fiction / Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Exterminators of The Annoying! ❯ An Apple a Day Keeps the Coldplay Away ( Chapter 2 )

Chapter One: Trip into the Box

 

 

 

Taylor- Finally! I get to kick some serious ass!

 

Kevin- Uhh, you say that every time you go to beat somebody up…

 

Will- Yeah Taylor geez…wait…oh crap. *Taylor pulls out a club*

 

Taylor- alright smart guy, you just earned a one way ticket to Hurtville!

 

Will- Hey! What about Kevin?! He started it! *Taylor shakes his head*

 

Taylor- Will, that would be senseless violence. *Will sweat drops*

 

Mitch- Um, let's start before Christmas guys.

 

Taylor- Brilliant! Thanks Mitch. START THE FIC!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

It was a beautiful sunny day in Anytown, USA…which meant that the Exterminators were wasting it down in Taylor's basement. After a particularly annoying episode of Inuyasha, Taylor threw the remote at the television screen, which then proceeded to ricochet off and nail Will in the head, knocking him unconscious.

 

“I REALLY hate these stupid characters!” he shouted with exasperation. Will sat up, rubbing the welt on his head.

 

“Hey, I thought you liked this show, Taylor.” Taylor threw the remote at Will again, who ducked at the last second.

 

“I Do! I just hate those people who complicate things…like that Kikyo girl!” Kevin and Mitch nodded.

 

“They do tend to ruin the show, don't they?” Mitch said as he scratched his head. Kevin nodded again.

 

“Yeah, they're almost as annoying as freaking Coldplay… those bastards.” Everyone seemed to agree, as they shot dirty looks at the Coldplay poster on the wall that was currently acting as a dart board. Taylor, who had seemed to be contemplating something in his mind stood up.

 

“Guys, I know what we can do to fix this problem!” everyone looked puzzled. Taylor laughed. “We obviously have to go to Japan, and take these…these…Show Ruiners out!” he dashed into the nearby closet. “We'll call ourselves…The Exterminators!!!” Taylor remerged wearing exactly what he had been wearing, jeans, ratty sneakers, a blue t-shirt and a black hoody, but now also sported a cape. Mitch got up and patted him on the shoulder.

 

“I like the idea, like the name, but lose the cape.” Taylor sunk.

 

“Awww, fine.” He removed his cape then walked back over to the others. “You guys in?” Kevin shrugged in agreement. Will, on the other hand, looked dumbfounded.

 

“Umm, guys! I don't know how we're gonna get to JAPAN from here when we're broke, and tonight's a school night! We can't just…” Mitch shook his head.

 

“Will, what has school ever done for you anyway? Besides, Taylor's got us covered on the rides.” Taylor again brightened.

 

“Ooooo! Do I get to hijack a plane!? Mitch shook his head. Taylor, whom was obviously disappointed, hung his head. “Fine, we'll do it the boring way.” Taylor went to the cabinet in the corner and began to dig around. After a few minutes of searching, Taylor let out a triumphant cry. “Ha! Found it!” in his hand was a remote. Will was now on the brink of exploding.

 

“WHAT IN THE NAME OF ZEUS' BUTTHOLE ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT REMOTE? NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE! I AM ABOUT THIS CLOSE TO…uhh.” Will collapsed onto the floor, Kevin sitting behind him with a blow dart in hand.

 

“Please continue.” Taylor nodded.

 

“Well, this is a universal remote right? Well, if we're gonna go beat up anime people, we're gonna get to them like anime people!” with that, Taylor pointed the remote at the T.V. screen. With a flash, the screen was full of a swirling array of colors.

 

“How do we know it's safe?” asked Kevin. Taylor merely shrugged, then picked up the unconscious Will and threw him inside, then followed. Mitch grabbed a coke from the fridge, then jumped into the television as well. Kevin sighed. “I thought we came over to do homework.” Giving up on the prospect, he followed the others into the T.V.

 

It was a peaceful night in feudal-era Japan, and Inuyasha and friends were trudging threw the woods once again.

 

“Does anyone else find it odd that there seems to be no demons lately?” Miroku inquired. Kagome rubbed her chin.

 

“Yeah, I've noticed that too.” Inuyasha let out a chuckle.

 

“It's probably because they know that if they come across me, that they're dead! I'm sure that there is nothing in this forest that could…what the?” there was a flash of light in a nearby bush, and one by one, the exterminators filed out, looking quite confused.

 

“Great job Taylor! Bring us through right into a bush!” Mitch said as he slapped him in the back of the head.

 

“Hey! I just got this thing on Tuesday! We could have hijacked a plane, but no!” Will emerged from the bush, rubbing his head.

 

“Wha-what happened? One minute I was in Taylor's basement, the next, I'm in a bush… hey look! It's the dog-eared guy!” The others looked over at the other group and waved. Inuyasha and the others sweat dropped.

 

“Kagome” stuttered Sango. “I thought you were the only person who could pass through the well…” Kagome scratched her head.

 

“I don't think they came from the well. I'll go see who they are.” Kagome took a deep breath, then walked over to the group. “Hello! I'm Kagome! I think we're from the same time period…” Will laughed.

 

“Ha, we beat you in the war.” Kagome was taken aback by the statement.

 

“Wait, what?!” Will started to dance around Kagome.

 

“We beat you in the war! We beat you in th…ow!” Taylor knocked him over the head.

 

“You'll have to excuse Will, he's and idiot. Now, do you happen to know where that Kikyo person is?” Kagome was now sufficiently dumbfounded. How do these Weird boys know about Kikyo? Are they from here? Mitch popped open his coke.

 

“Uh, not to be rude, but we'd like an answer before I turn forty, please.” Kevin, who was just emerging from the bush, waved to his comrades.

 

“Sorry guys, I took a wrong turn at the food network… oh hey! You found Inuyasha!” Inuyasha came walking up behind Kagome.

 

“These guys giving you trouble, Kagome?” Inuyasha asked as his hand traveled down to the hilt of his sword. Taylor obviously took this as a threat, because he picked up Will to use as a club.

 

“And what if we are, dog boy?” Taylor and Inuyasha glared at each other and seemed to be seconds away from beating the pulp out of each other. Miroku and Sang came running to hold Inuyasha back.

 

“I don't think violence is necessary.” Chuckled Miroku. “Now, you said something about Kikyo?” At the mention of Kikyo, a usual flame erupted in Taylor's eyes.

 

“YEAH! WE'RE GONNA FIND HER AND…KMFFF!” Kevin put his hand over Taylor's mouth.

 

“We just want to…thank her for being so…nice.” Miroku raised an eyebrow, but continued.

 

“Well, the last time we saw her, Kikyo was wandering around in this forest to the north.” Mitch, who had just finished his coke, crumpled the can and threw it casually behind his shoulder.

 

“Alright, lets get going guys.” Everyone nodded and followed Mitch into the brush. Will looked up from the ground while Taylor dragged him away.

 

“Just remember what you get when you bomb us, you commies!” Taylor stepped on Will's head.

 

“Umm, Japan was never communist, fucknuts.” Will grumbled to himself as he and the rest of the group disappeared into the woods. Sango tapped Kagome on the shoulder.

 

“Kagome, are boys from your time always like that?” Kagome shook her head.

 

“No. I don't think those were normal boys.” Inuyasha scoffed.

 

“The short blond one was insane.” The rest of the group nodded in agreement.

 

“I think they're ALL insane.” Miroku sighed. “I almost feel sorry for Kikyo!”

 

 

Kikyo walked through the woods with her soul collectors following close behind. In her mind, she was preoccupied with two thoughts; where she could get more souls, and how she could seek her revenge on Inuyasha.

 

“I can't allow Inuyasha to plague these lands any longer, and yet, I still feel that there is some kind of connection between me and h-”

 

“WOULD YOU SHUT UP!!!!” Kikyo looked up to see the exterminators standing on the branch of a tree. Kikyo reached for her bow.

 

“Who are you? Do you work for Naraku?” Mitch laughed.

 

“Lady, do we look like we work for baboon-boy?” Kikyo wavered.

 

“Well…I mean…” Kevin cut her off.

 

“Look, we're not here to watch you stupid up the air! We're here because you've messed things up for too long! Taylor, give it to her!” Taylor leapt off the tree branch and stuck his finger in his mouth.

 

“WET WILLY!” Kikyo tried to ready her bow, but Taylor had already stuck his finger into her ear.

 

“Eeeewww!” she winced. Soon her repulsion turned to anger. “Soul collectors, get those men!” immediately, the soul collectors shot into action, rocketing towards Taylor's chest. When they finally came to their target, the simply passed right through. Taylor let out a triumphant laugh.

 

“What the hell are you doing? I don't have a soul!” Kevin folded his arms and nodded.

 

“It's true. He sold it on E-Bay two years ago.” Mitch sighed and pulled out a little black box labeled “DO NOT OPEN”.

 

“Here Taylor,” he said as he threw the box to him. “Let's wrap this up so we can go.” Taylor nodded, then showed the box to Kikyo.

 

“Do you know what this is?” Kikyo simply raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders. Taylor laughed evilly. “This is the most devious, cruel weapon ever to show itself on this earth…behold the terrible power of COLDPLAY CONCERT IN A BOX!!!” Taylor and the rest of the exterminators covered their ears as he opened the box, sucking Kikyo inside.

 

“NOOO!” she screamed. “DON'T PUT ME IN THERE! IT'S COLDPLAY IN THERE!” As she was sucked in, Taylor closed the box and wiped the sweat off his forehead.

 

“Poor Kikyo, never stood a chance…” Will removed his hat in commemoration. Kevin and the others hopped down from the tree branch and smiled.

 

“Well, let's get going, we've got a lot more ass to kick!” the others nodded as Taylor pulled out the remote.

 

“Next stop, Love Hina!” he pressed a button, and the familiar portal opened in front of them. Taylor turned around and glared. “Will, quit messing around and get over here!” Will, who was in the middle of carving “Will Was Here” on a tree groaned, then followed the others into the portal.

 

 

Mitch- Yeah, um, that's chapter one. Cool.

 

Kevin- I'll say, kicked ass and took names.

Will- I think I'm gonna join a union.

 

Taylor- *holding the Coldplay Box* what was that, Will?

 

Will-*sweat dropping* uh, nothing! END THE FREAKIN' CHAPTER!!!