InuYasha Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ The Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi! ❯ And the 'winners' are... ( Chapter 13 )

Chapter 13

Some people spotted the Monty Python thingie I did last chapter. Woo-hoo!

For those who don't know: A Mary sue fic is where the author (who is usually a fangirl) puts an incredibly beautiful girl, (The Mary sue) usually based upon herself, into a story with the sole purpose to hook up with one of her favorite characters. These are frequently heavily misspelled and with grammar errors, and always out of character and unrealistic. There is a difference between a self insertion and Mary sue, just for you self insertion writers. As long as it's not just a set up between your original character, spelled right, realistic, and in character it probably isn't a Mary sue. There is also a male version, but I forgot what he was called.

Author's note in a nutshell: Mary sue=character (Usually a self insertion) with sole purpose of hooking up with a character, written totally unrealistically

What have I been up to the last two weeks? 1) studying for exams. 2) co-writing a Harry Potter fic, which I will post soon. It's called "A false preview of Harry Potter 5." Read it NOW!

Blah, blah, I just go on and on! Oh well. Chapter 13.

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Cait, Saki, Karl, Melody, and Alexis were on a frantic chase for Pia's team. After Karl had been tortured into talking, they had stolen the lingerie-stuffed panda from her backpack which had been lying in her room. Ryoga had seen where they had gone, and after being paid a healthy sum, had volunteered to show them the way. They had found all necessary items, except for the lingerie. The acorn from the god-tree was fetched from the staff garden, where the ecology club had been experimenting. The alien cold medicine had been swiped straight from Lum's spaceship, courtesy of Ten. (After bribing him considerably, of course.) Kikyo's bow was fetched by Cait and Karl, the only two who would go within ten feet of her private equipment shed. Ranma's socks were retrieved by Saki and Alexis, but not until after searching through his entire room to find a pair.

"Eww." said Saki, still thoroughly disgusted from her hunt through Ranma's closet and drawers. "I didn't know you could hide that much porno in so few square feet without anyone noticing..." Melody looked utterly disgusted.

"Well, let's look at the bright side." Cait reassured them. "We only need to retrieve the lingerie they stole from us, and we'll win!"

"So... how is this helping?" Melody pointed to their guide Ryoga, who had been leading them around in circles for the last hour.

"ARGH!" screamed Ryoga, frantically. "I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE THE FRONT DOOR IS!!!!!! AAAAAH!"

Ryoga, in frustration, started randomly destroying walls. Cait and her group watched as he cleared a path to the outside. "Well, we don't need one now!" exclaimed Alexis.

Ryoga ran out through the hole. "I see where they went, kids! It was in that-"

He didn't get the rest of the sentence out, though, as rain started pouring in through the hole he had made in the wall, splashing all of those present. Cait, Melody, and Alexis watched as Karl and Saki became Karl the virtuous pervert smasher, and Saki the freak.

"RYOGA!" Karl the virtuous pervert smasher yelled "Sneaking into Akane's bed? PERVERT!" Ryoga ducked a thrown bookshelf, then got bashed with Karl's handy dandy mallet.

Cait tried to calm him down. "Karl... we need to get Happosai's lingerie back now..."

Karl the virtuous pervert smasher's eyes went red. "The enemy of all that is good in the world, Happosai? DIE!" He started smashing random things in search of the evil Happosai, while the rest watched.

Saki screamed "No, PENGUINS MUST DIE! YAAH!" She went off in search of the world-domination-seeking penguins, leaving Melody, Alexis, and Cait.

"Well... now at least we know which was they went!" said Melody. "And we can follow the trail of fish the rest of the way." The remaining group followed the trail of fish-shaped cookies on the ground to a picnic table on the other side of the field.

Alexis lifted up the table cloth. "What are you doing hiding under a picnic table?" she asked Pia's entire group.

"Picnicking! Would you like an animal cracker? They're gooooooooooood!" said Pia pleasantly, handing her a fish shaped animal cracker.

"Freak." muttered Melody.

Saki popped up out of nowhere. "That's meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" and disappeared just as suddenly.

Alexis took a bite out of the cookie. Suddenly she fell to the ground, frozen in place. "Hohohohohohohoho!" rang a familiar laugh. "That's what happens when one eats an animal cracker laced with my paralysis potion!"

"We bribed Kodachi to give us some. Pretty good idea, huh?" said Pia.

"Ohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoh ohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho....." trailed off Kodachi, spraying rose petals everywhere as she exited dramatically.

"That's just dirty." said Melody.

Pia stuck out her tongue. "I still haven't forgiven you for calling me a freak."

She pulled a chain hanging from the roof. A giant wave of dead fish fell on top of Melody. For a few seconds she stood, frozen in place with the absurdity and yuckiness. Then she started squealing "EWWWWWWWWWW!!! GROSSGROSSGROSSGROSSGROSS!!!" and ran off in the direction of the nearest restroom. The rest of Pia's group followed her for revenge on calling Pia a freak.

Cait stared after her, then realized she was the only member of her group left. Pia was carelessly twirling the stolen Happosai's-personal-collection underwear, "Pia! What the... give me back the lingerie! Our group got it first!"

"Uh-uh. It's all fair game, you know." Pia threw it to another one of her teammates, who stuffed it inside a safe with multiple deadbolts and padlocks.

Cait grabbed the safe, and tried to unlock it. Unsuccessful, she banged it against it a rock, then the side of the building, then jumped on it. Nothing worked. "You can't get it open, Cait." said Pia, amused.

Cait threw it at her head. "Well if you head didn't crack it, nothing will."

"Why you..." Pia stopped short as Cait tossed the safe down a nearby cliff. "What'd you do that for?!"

"WAHAHAHA!" Happosai appeared, carrying a large sack filled with his 'collection.' "You are looking for some of my dainties, then?"

Cait and Pia mentally shivered, then nodded.

"Look no further! For you two girls, I will sell some to you!" Happosai held up two pairs of his prized collection of stolen underwear.

Cait and Pia both got out their wallets. "How much?" said Pia, stealing Cait's wallet.

"How about..." Happosai thought for a while. "I know! Let me..."

"PERVERT!!!!" Happosai was booted into outer space by the two. They both took the lingerie he had dropped. Now all that was left was to win. Both of them started racing to the judges table. Pia pushed Cait down.

"Hey, no fair!" said Cait, tripping her.

Both girls kept trying to slow each other down until they realized that they were at the table. "Well?" said a bored Ranma. "Do you have the items?"

"Yes!" said Cait, pushing Pia out of the way. "I do!" Cait emptied out her backpack, showing the objects.

"Hmm." said Ranma, looking over each one. "You seem to have all the items. And you're the first one too."

"Yippee! I win!" squealed Cait. "What did I win?"

Ranma smirked. "Unfortunately... you need to have all group members present to complete the race. Sorry! Next."

Pia jumped up. "We have all the items. And here comes my group!" The rest of Pia's group had finally returned from their Melody-search.

Ranma smiled. "Congratulations. You won!"

"Great!" Pia's group all high-fived each other. Cait smacked herself. "What did we win?" said Pia.

"You've won... a whole week of detention! Congratulations once more!"

Pia and her group stared speechlessly at Ranma, trying to see if he was serious.

"That's right, I am serious. Did you think such immoral, unethical tactics would work this time? I know what you're up to. Trying to sabotage me again, Kodachi?" Ranma pointed to one of the people standing around Pia, who promptly took off the makeshift purple Teletubby mask they had been wearing.

"How did you know it was I, Ranma darling?" said Kodachi.

"Well..." Ranma was just about to explain when he felt a tugging on his pants leg. "AAH! FANGIRLS!"

"Raaaaaanmaaaaaaaa...." the group of fangirls, appearing from under the floorboards, chanted monotonously.

"Get away from me!" Ranma yelled, jumping out a nearby window. Like lemmings, the fangirls followed.

"Lucky guy." Ataru yawned. "He must get mobbed by fangirls at least twice a day. Wish I got attention like that."

Pia and her group were trying to sneak away from the Kodachi-led assault on Ranma's sanity when Lum popped up out of nowhere. "Don't try and get away!" she said, floating in the air. "I think you can serve your detention right now."

"W...What is it?" said Pia, shakily.

Lum handed them some magic markers. "If you write 'I love Akane' all over Ranma's room, I'll consider it served."

Pia's group was again speechless in fright. "I don't want to die!" wailed Pia.

"Well, if you don't, you'll have a week scrubbing the toilets. Your choice!" Lum smirked as the group walked hurriedly toward the staff dorms.

Ranma had just gotten free of the fangirls. "How many of them are there! Why, why, why do they keep pestering me! Whyyyyyyyyy!"

"Relax, Ranma." Lum hovered upside down in front of him. "Maybe Akane will let you have a good cry in her arms to make you feel better!"

"Why... she... you... LUM!" Ranma growled at her. "Have you just not forgiven me for the 5000 yen that I won from you in 'go fish' on Friday?"

"You know you can't play cards for beans, Ranma. You cheated and everyone knows it!" Lum stuck out her tongue. "Cheater!"

Ranma and Lum kept arguing, not noticing Cait sneaking upstairs to where Pia and her team had gone. She guessed that was the way to the staff dorms, but wasn't sure, since none of the students were allowed in. It seemed that the way into the staff dorms was through a well in the middle of the court yard marked "Under construction." Cait watched silently behind a bush as Pia and the rest of her group jumped into it. Once it was safe, Cait jumped in after them.

It was a bit like the well she had jumped in to get to school, but instead of landing on the hard ground, she landed on... silken beanbags? Cait looked around her. The well had led to the middle of a large outdoor garden, with fountains and plants everywhere. In contrast to the rest of the school, it looked like a paradise. She followed the way that Pia's group had gone. She could see them now, all collected in a circle in front of a door with "Ranma" scribbled on it.

"Alright, Pia, you can go in first." said one of the other members.

"No, you." said Pia. "Alright, how about we all go in at the same time. Who's going to write what?"

"We gotta write it big in case Lum doesn't like it. Then we'll have to do a whole week of detention, plus Ranma will be severely pissed at us."

"Alright. Nice and big. I'll write 'Ranma loves Akane,' you do 'Ranma + Akane 4ever,' you do..." Pia assigned each a phrase to graffiti on Ranma's dorm walls, as Cait watched secretly.

"Let's go." Pia said, and all of them went in. Cait watched for a couple seconds, to see what would happen. The sound of spray cans and squeaky markers was heard for about ten minutes. Then, slowly, they came out, hoping no one had noticed. Cait watched as they snuck away, then she silently opened the door to Ranma's room, to see what they had did.

Cait took a step back. Well, they certainly hadn't done a haphazard job. The entire room, not just the walls, the carpet, furniture, windows, everything was covered with red and pink spray paint and markering. Phrases such as "Ranma + Akane = true love," "Ranma loves Akane," "Ranma + Akane forever," "RS+AT," and "Ranma and Akane- a match made in heaven." They sure had got the whole nine yards, even to put little hearts around any spare wall space that was not covered with love proclamations.

Cait shook her head, then quickly exited and climbed back down the well, falling on the courtyard stone walkway. It was just about time for "Pairing vs. get-together," taught by the young man who owned the room she had just seen vandalized. Cait smiled, thinking about what he would find when he returned to his room, and headed off to class.

After class, Ranma held back the students to talk to them before they rushed off to dinner. "As you all know, today's scavenger hunt is over, and as you also know, no one won. Everyone who claimed to have any items actually had similar fakes, handmade fakes, or stolen fakes. So tough luck. The prize was a bag of stale doughnuts, anyway." The whole class groaned. "Cheer up. We have scheduled a field trip for you. Aren't we nice?" The class nodded, cautiously. They knew the staff better than to trust them to arrange a nice field trip. There had to be some catch.

"You will all go to three locations from each of our worlds, that is, Jusenkyo, Feudal era Japan, and Ataru's house. Sign up for groups on the sheets in the hall."

The students murmured among each other as they looked at the sign up sheet. Cait just put her name in an empty column, hoping that someone decent would also sign up with her. She went back up to her room, exhausted from the day's activities.

When Cait opened the dorm door, Pia was sitting on her bed, covered head to toe in bandages. "Cait...." she growled, angrily.

"Pia? What's wrong?" Cait said nervously, backing up against the door.

Pia walked slowly toward Cait. "This... is all... your fault! If you had won, I wouldn't.... CAIT!" she stammered angrily, pointing to the bandages.

Cait started to guess at what might be wrong with her. "Did Ranma catch you graffitiing his room and beat you up?"

Pia chuckled scarily. "No... he didn't beat us up. He did something far worse. And it is all your fault!" Cait still looked oblivious. "He gave us that alien cold medicine, Cait. You know, the one on the list? The one that you bribed Ten into getting?"

Cait backed away from Pia. Pia grabbed the end of her bandages. "AND THE ALIEN COLD MEDICINE GAVE US ALL PINK AND GREEN STRIPES! PREPARE TO DIE, CAIT!!!" Cait stared at the pink and green striped Pia for several seconds, not knowing whether to laugh or run. Choosing the latter, Cait ran off down the hallway, with a flourescent colored Pia following in morbid pursuit.

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Sorry it took so long. It's a little bit longer than usual, anyway. Well, school's over, but between camp and vacation I may not have that much time to write. :(

If you would like to be in Cait's group for the field trip, don't hesitate to review or email me and tell me!