InuYasha Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Breathless ❯ Understanding ( Chapter 49 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and Inuyasha are not mine; they're Naoko Takeuchi's and Rumiko Takahashi's.

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to a certain someone who rather unfairly became the target of my foul humor this week. You know who you are (winks) and this is my form of apologize.

Chapter Forty Eight.

`Understanding'

`Being around Rin is nice…she acts like she likes having me around; she doesn't seem to care for my past beyond the fact that it makes me suffer…'

Kohaku kept thinking with a troubled heart as he was walking, watching the rest of the group doing the same before him.

They had finished lunch a couple of hours before, and it was then that Sesshoumaru had told them they would go walking, so they did… and after what'd happened at the camp, each was immersed in their own thoughts.

`Mister Jaken is alright, and Sesshoumaru-sama…he wants to protect my shard from Naraku… he could have chosen to take it from me and just keep it safe with himself…but Mister Jaken won't tell me the reason why they've also chosen to keep me alive…I still miss Kikyo-sama, but I feel safe being with them…'

`Because … I still can't face Aneue…'

`And… Usagi-san…it hasn't been that long since the time we first saw her, either… has it? But, when she mentioned her own loss of memory… the way she looked at me right then…she made me somehow feel like she could understand what I felt.'

`Rin was right… she looked so sad when she talked about that… It's like…like she also carries her own burdens…'

`I wonder what they are'

`…'

`…Is she like me? Did Naraku…? Did she also use to be Naraku's puppet? Could that be the reason she used to have no memory?'

`…Could she be carrying a shikon shard, and not even know about it? Because if she is… that has to be the reason why Byakuya said that Naraku wants her'

`I had thought she and that Aku-san person could have been a little like me and Kagura…'

`…When Lord Sesshoumaru brought her along, making us stay by her side instead of leaving or just killing her, then when Byakuya said what he said to him, and specially when she mentioned her recent loss of memory… that was when I had immediately thought of that possibility…But if she were carrying a shikon shard, would Lord Sesshoumaru even choose to tell us about it?'

`When I saw her suddenly throw herself at Rin, I got scared that she might have fooled us all or that Naraku was controlling her after all and she'd ended being like me…and Sesshoumaru-sama's reaction scared me too… I was so relieved when I noticed Usagi-san was only playing with her…'

`But…if she recovered her memories, and Byakuya said that Naraku had lost track of her during the cataclysm, perhaps it was during the cataclysm that she remembered who she was and escaped him? However…'

`However… I can not bring myself to ask her'

“You really fooled us for a moment there, Usagi-san” the young boy told the blonde older girl out of the blue when he caught up with her again and Rin. “I had even forgotten that some village children use to play like that”

Thankful for that she took as an attempt at a nice comment, the blonde smiled at him for a while, before her face became pensive again as her eyes returned to the Demon Lord's back. Taking notice of this, the taijiya decided to add something else.

“You must excuse Sesshoumaru-sama, though. You see, it's not… it's not the first time one of us sees another human get possessed by a demon to hurt said human's friends and close ones” he finished with a hard swallow.

`…Papa…'

The young woman's head turned to him. She thought she had sensed something peculiar in his tone.

Sadness…regret…

…And fear?

…Why fear?

“Is… that so, Kohaku? Has… something like that already happened… … …to you?” she asked in a hesitant voice.

Assaulted by the thought that she might have figured out what it was all about by now, the boy gasped.

“Usagi-san… I am sorry, but I… I'm not ready to talk about it still” She saw him lower his head so much that his bangs hid his eyes.

Usagi stared at him for a long moment.

`When Rin talked about his loved ones, he seemed to so much more than just sad'

Seeing the sorrow radiating off of him in thick waves, she knew then she needn't ask anymore.

“I… …I understand”

A demon had possessed someone to hurt his family; that's all she thought she needed to know.

…She needn't ask how, who, or why.

She'd already heard once while in Kaede's village, that some demons were capable of things like that.

If something of that sort happened to him… had it been to his human family, or was he talking about…

`Oh, Kohaku…I didn't know. I- I am so sorry…' she thought to herself, becoming a bit ashamed `What I did…, then what I did must have seemed pretty stupid…and that's why Sesshoumaru…'

`…Oh…'

She thought she knew what had happened, now.

Incredible… how a simple joke, a mindless joke, could mean so much more to others.

A mindless joke…

How it could become so hurtful.

`…I am so sorry; if I had known…'

Even if it hadn't been her intention.

She was relieved Kohaku and Rin had noticed she had a rather innocent purpose. They were children who hadn't learned to distrust people so instantly, yet. Apparently, Sesshoumaru and the smaller youkai, Jaken, were another story.

But she couldn't bring herself to resent them for thinking the way they did.

`If I had known the game with Rin would remind you, or to any of you of it, then…'

`…Then…'

`Then… may be I wouldn't have done it…'

She thought she finally understood all of them a bit more as well.

Specially Sesshoumaru…

She couldn't resent him. Not for him thinking such a thing; thinking that she would purposely harm a young innocent child like Rin…because she knew he was only trying to protect her. She couldn't be angry at him for protecting those he cared about, especially not after what Kohaku had just told her.

As for never giving her the benefit of the doubt from the start, perhaps, she should be angry about that. But she couldn't get angry at him for that either…

She thought it might have to do, one more time, partly, with the fact that she was grateful to him for saving her life twice… Perhaps it had to do with the fact that, from the very beginning, she'd been given a fair idea of who he was. How he was.

…Who knows.

Whatever it was, she just couldn't get angry at him over something like this.

She just… couldn't.

â€•“I had a terrible nightmare; I dreamed… that you were evil, and had a black heart”

â€•“Resentment and loneliness can do that to a soul sometimes”â€•

Niraya-sama's words.

â€•“Couldn't those people be changed?”

â€•“Sometimes people are just not open to listen…”â€•

â€•…What had caused them to lose faith?

All of them.

â€• …Was the world of the outside…truly that heartless and terrible?

â€• “People act selfishly; they fear what they don't understand, and what they fear…they hate”â€•

Was she trying to prove them wrong?

Coldness…

…Mistrust.

Was she trying to prove him wrong?

â€•“Humans are a most opportunistic herd; so… what do you expect to gain by apologizing to me in this manner?”â€•

Who was she trying to prove wrong?

Was it Niraya-sama…

…Or Lord Sesshoumaru?

Or the both of them?

May be…

`If there's no hope for this world… my life will have no meaning?'

…May be she was just trying to prove it to herself…

To herself, for herself.

…Perhaps.

Perhaps she was trying to see it for herself.

“Sesshoumaru?” she heard her own voice call, her own feet bringing her closer to him, and she hadn't even realized. When she saw him glance at her briefly, she continued. “A demon's possession happened to someone close to Kohaku?”

He saw his gaze narrow on his profile as he glanced at her again. “It was Naraku” he said tersely. He noted the way her own gaze sparkled with recognition, but what he expected her to say wasn't what he heard her say next.

“Is that…the same Naraku that you mentioned is after me? …Who is he, Sesshoumaru? What does he want?”

He snorted. “I thought you would have a fair idea already”

The reiterated answer suddenly made her annoyed. “I told you I have no idea who he is… don't you think I at least deserve that you tell me, since he's the reason you're keeping me here? May be I can help?”

“I do not require for your assistance”

Frustrated, her eyes became heavy with pleading. “Sesshoumaru-sama, please… Every time you mention that person, I feel so alone and confused. He obviously is the reason I make you upset, yet I don't know anything about him. I need to know what's going on… please… ”

Usagi didn't know the effect that particular tone of voice and such a look from her eyes had on people…or may be she did, and did it on purpose… What matters is that they made Sesshoumaru feel a mixture of both a bit guilty and extremely annoyed.

Hence he ceased walking and stopped.

“If you must know…” he found himself saying without really knowing what he was doing “Naraku is a vile half-breed who's apparently after the Shikon no Tama”

Meanwhile, far away from there…

“Inuyasha, you are a big fat ugly bully!”

“WHO are you calling fat, runt?! And who are you calling UGLY!!”

“I'm calling you ugly because you needn't hit me so hard, you big bully!”

“Then stop cracking jokes on the spell of the prayer beads, you little--!”

“What?” Shippo blinked when the hanyou failed to continue; then started laughing anD pointing “HA! You can't even say a proper insult!” he blew a raspberry.

CLONK!

“WAAAAHHH!!!!!!”

Knowing what was coming, the girl from the future sighed.

“Kagome, Inuyasha hit me again!!”

“Ah, no! NO sir!! Work it out between the two of you this time, you two idiots… I'm not taking any part in it”

“Kagome?!” the two contestants looked at her surprised at the unexpected answer. The girl from the future's eyebrow twitched.

“Your verbal fights have been getting worse and worse, lately” she fumed “and I realized my intervention doesn't help… so I am NOT going to speak in favor of any of you this time… understand?? Your arguments are making everybody tired, so take the chance to talk and sort this out and stop this nonsense… or I'll never speak again to any of you” considering her statement finished, she turned around and walked away along with Sango, Miroku and Kirara, not looking back and leaving the two alone in the meadow.

With their mouths agape, the two quarrelers stared as they disappeared behind some trees, then at each other.

Then they began again.

“It's all your fault, runt!”

“No it's not, Inuyasha, its' your fault!” Shippo protested, but then grew guilty “but you heard Kagome… she won't speak to any of us unless we patch things up” Something occurred to him then.

Looking up at the hanyou, he hesitantly asked “Inuyasha do my jokes about your prayer beads…hurt your feelings?”

“Keh!!” the half-breed grumbled, closing his eyes and crossing his arms in a huff.

Realizing what this mean, the kistune's spirits fell. “Oh. Inuyasha… I don't really mean them. I-I- I'm sorry...” his face fell, looking and sounding very penitent.

“Um” the angry half-demon opened an eye to glance down at the repentant fox kit “You really are sorry, Shippo?” he raised an eye-brow suspiciously “Or are you just apologizing to look good in front of Kagome?”

“Um, um, y-y-yeaaaahhh…” at the sound of the hanyou's gentler tone, the little youkai sniffed and unexpectedly rushed to hug the older boy's legs tight “I'm sorry, Inuyasha! I'm so so sorry! I'm not going to do it again! Please don't be angry at me, onii-san!!”

Hearing this made Inuyasha gasp. Had Shippo just called him older brother, of all things?!

“It's just… when you hit me or ignore me just because I'm a little kid, or because you think I'm weaker and small and because you can… I resent you sometimes” Shippo confessed in a low mumble, “That's why I get back at you by saying that stuff. But you're right… You have a right to get angry and next time you do something I don't like I will just tell you, instead of bottling it up. I don't know why I've been doing that…”

`Man… he's doing all this `cause he really can't live without Kagome's attentions; can he? He really IS a baby youkai…is he' the hanyou thought. “I didn't know you were feeling ignored lately, Shippo” he argued, genuinely taken by surprise.

“Yes… I know you guys have a lot on your minds ever since the Priestess Kikyo died. But it's only natural that you do… I… I've been egotistical lately, Inuyasha. I'm sorry…”

Deciding that perhaps he `should' be more mature about Shippo's childish teasing, he couldn't help but forgive him, though…Because, despite the fact that he `was' sometimes just a loudmouthed kid, even `he', Inuyasha, knew Shippo had no real ill will… and despite how much he liked to hide it, Inuyasha was also truly a softie at heart.

“Yeah, yeah yeah… I forgive you…and I'm sorry I ignored you. Runt, I promise that when Naraku is gone, and this is all over, I'll make it up to you… Listen: may be if you're patient I'll even teach you how to do the kitsune's version of the `Iron Reaver Soul Stealer' attack with your claws, how's that?” he awkwardly bent down to pat the little fox's back.

The little boy stared at him in awe “Really?! You know one of the adult kistunes' tricks?”

“Of course I do! Who are you taking me for! You don't survive alone in the wilderness for that long without learning a thing or two” he huffed with superiority “Now stop sniveling, runt. You're getting mucus all over my clean pants”

“Thank you, Inuyasha!” the kit said sincerely “You won't regret it, I promise!”

“Whatever, squirrel. Now let's get back with the others” Getting a hold of Shippo's tiny hand, the hanyou started to slowly lead him away from that part of the forest.

“But Inuyasha… I'm not a squirrel”

`Grrr' “…I know that, kid. Never mind”

As they were leaving, neither noted that hidden behind a tree, a shadowed figure was watching, relieved and satisfied.

“Awww…I'm so proud at them! I just knew all they needed was a minute or two talking” Kagome snickered to herself, before joyfully trotting to reunite with them.

And in some other part away from there as well…

“Usagi-sama… Why…why did you have to go with him? I could have fought him; I could have fought him so that I could help you stay…” the male lavender haired incarnation berated himself for the thirtieth time that day, as he continued walking around the old hermit's abandoned cabin in circles, “I can't believe I let that happen, I can't believe it…”

Even though it was already been almost a day since the Taiyoukai's group had left the place, hence almost a day since the blonde's `kidnapping' so to speak, he hadn't return with Naraku-sama and the others yet.

He was scared.

`This is bad bad bad. If I go back, without Usagi, Lord Naraku might skin me alivethis time around' he shuddered nervously, hiccupping like a terrified toddler, `I don't want to'. There was a tiny chance that Naraku thought him dead, that he'd died along with Usagi during the cataclysm, and he wasn't going to spoil it.

“That is, if Tsumi doesn't come to get me in the next days… how long would it take `her' to find me?”

`I wonder if I should truly stay any longer in this place. May be I should leave-' His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a twig snapping. He turned to the direction of the sound in a flash.

“Who's there!!?”

He wasn't quite prepared for the sight of the figure that wordlessly came to stand in front of his eyes.

“You-?!?”

To Be Continued.

A/N: Evil cliffhanger, I know… but it was due sooner or later, and now it has come. Hope this chapter answered some of your questions: you know what some of the characters `think' could be happening… but then again… are these characters right in their guesses? …Who knows? If I answered all of your questions in one chapter, why bother to continue reading? It's the expectative that keeps the interest burning, don't you agree? (Chuckles)

Thanks for the support, and tolerance… (smiles) and be kind to tell me what you thought.