InuYasha Fan Fiction / Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ What You Didn't Know and Didn't Need to Know about Escaflowne and InuYasha ❯ Chapter 7 ( Chapter 7 )

(Kagome enters, looking very perturbed.)

Kagome: Inu-Yasha, OSUWARI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(B-TONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Inu-Yasha does a face plant on the ground just before he reaches Miroku's neck.)

Miroku: ::bowing:: Arigato, Lady Kagome.

Kagome: No problem. And as for you…if you EVER leave me alone to deal with an ENTIRE village because YOU went on a rampage hunting demons and destroyed half the houses again, I'll be saying "osuwari" ::Inu-Yasha, who was just beginning to stand, suddenly does another face plant:: until the day I die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Got it, puppy?!?!?!?!?!

Hitomi: What is your power? That is a cool power! I wish I could do that on Van!!!

Principessa/Celena: It could be useful for Allen….

Penguin: Ooooh, that would make for a FUN time with Folken Lacour de Fanel-sama…yes, yes, then you couldn't run away.

Folken: Don't hurt me!

Kagome: ::blink blink:: It's the rosary, see? ::points to rosary around Inu-Yasha's neck:: But, by the way, who is that guy? Who's that guy, how long is his name, and is that girl doing what I THINK she's doing to him?

Hitomi: Looks like it.

Folken: Unfortunately….

Penguin: You KNOW you love me.

Folken: …

Miroku: Ah, why doesn't anyone ever do that to ME?

Folken: Well, I know Eriya and Naria like me because I saved them. I don't know what this girl's deal is. She just came in and started glomping me!!!

Van: I can control myself just fine! Why are you saying it would be useful to have that power, Hitomi? All because he, eh, 'sits' when she says 'sit'.

Hitomi: Uh…it would keep you from going off and trying to kill people.

Van: Excuse me, but I don't kill people for no reason, unlike THAT!!!!!!!! ::points at Dilandau::

(All Inu-Yasha characters but Miroku, who has already been told about Dilandau, stare at Van, who just called him a 'that'.)

Kagome: Oh, excuse me, but don't you mean…'he?'

Van: No, he's a he-she-it-thing (© Jaime wil Ryuuzaki). He was a girl, her ::points at Principessa/Celena::, but then her fate was altered and she became a he, that ::points at Dilandau::

Viole: Yes, and the BEAUTIFUL Dilandau-sama was born!!!!! *sigh*

Principessa/Celena: Van? Just a question…how do you know that? You don't find that out `till the last episode, and you haven't even killed the Dragon Slayers yet!

Van: Same way you know I find out in the last episode, I read ahead in the script!

Principessa/Celena: Hmm…that's true. Plus, this IS a parody. No one ever said it had to make sense.

Miguel: It has to make sense, or else I won't understand it.

Penguin: ::glancing at Miguel with annoyance:: That's the whole point, baka. Geez, you guys just don't get what goes through author's minds when they write these things….

Miguel: Well, how would you know?

Penguin: ::blink blink:: I'M THE FREAKIN' AUTHOR!!!! Geez, why do you think I'm getting so much time with Folken Lacour de Fanel-sama over here? You think it's just by chance that I happen to be stronger than those cat women??? NOT A CHANCE!!!!!!!!!!

Principessa/Celena: I'm an author, too, and a character!

Penguin: Yeah, well, you're just special like that.

Inu-Yasha: So, where are we, anyway? What is this? Who are all you people?

Hitomi: Well, you are in a Zaibach Floating Fortress in the anime Tenkuu no Escaflowne, of which I am technically the main character, Hitomi Kanzaki.

Random Escaflowne People: I thought I was the main character. Yeah, me, too. No, me! Me!

Van: No, I'm the main character, Hitomi.

Dilandau: Anyone can see I'M the main character!

Allen: No, I'm the main character.

Folken: I know I'm not the main character…so why are you still clinging to me? ::looks down at Penguin, who is attached to his claw and is stroking it::

Hitomi: That's why I said "technically." Anyway, I'm just a high school girl from Japan who was transported into a world at war.

Kagome: Hey, sounds like my situation. I live in Japan during the 1990's and I fall through a well to find myself in feudal Japan!

Hitomi: Whoa, we're from the same time period! Do you know the Kamakita track team? That's the school track team I run on….

Kagome: Yeah, I think they came to our school once and I watched.

Hitomi: Really? Do you know Yukari Uchida and Amano Susumu?

Kagome: Amano sounds familiar…didn't he win in every race he participated in?

Hitomi: Yeah, that's the guy! I kind of have a crush on him.

Kagome: Kind of…?

Hitomi: Yeah, him or Allen or Van…I'm not sure yet….

Van: What?! What do you mean, Hitomi?! You don't like me?

Hitomi: Eh…that's not what I said!

Van: ::head hanging low:: *pout pout*

Allen: ::completely surprised:: You might like me?

Hitomi: Huh…?

Inu-Yasha Characters: *sweatdrop*

Van: Anyway, I am Van Slanzar de Fanel. I am the king of Fanelia, which my brother destroyed with the help of THAT thing ::points to Dilandau::.

Dilandau: I am Dilandau Albatou-not a thing! I may be a he-she, but I'm not a thing!

Penguin: Yeah, a little too big to be a thing….

All Except Penguin: Eeeeeeeeeew! Penguin!!!!!!!!!

Penguin: ::innocently with a BIIIIIIIIIIIG smile:: What? What I do???

Principessa/Celena: Wait, wait, I don't get…EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

Penguin: ::laughing:: A little slow on the uptake there, Magomago Shimarisu!

Principessa/Celena: I am Celena Schezar, Allen's younger sister who was kidnapped and turned into a boy ::points to Dilandau::.

Dilandau: STOP POINTING AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Inu-Yasha: Wait, if you're him, then how are you both here?

Principessa/Celena & Jajuka & Dilandau: ::shrug:: That's what we're trying to figure out. ::Principessa/Celena gestures to Allen::

Allen: I am Allen Crusade Schezar, Celena's older brother and the stereotypical playboy of the show-I come with a natural charm ::winks::.

Folken: My name is Folken Lacour de Fanel. I am the Strategos of the Zaibach Empire and the older brother of Van. These are my two loyal companions, Eriya and Naria, whom I rescued from certain death when they were younger than Merle. And this is…uh…this 'attachment' is…

Penguin: I am not an attachment! I am one with you! Aishiteru, Folken Lacour de Fanel-sama….

Kagome: And your NAME is…?

Penguin: Penguin Yoshimi Hydeoshi, the co-author of this parody.

(Yoshimi enters.)

Yoshimi: Leave me out of this one! Use a different name! I can't believe that MY wonderful creator is the same person who, in this fic, is trying to have sexual relations with the Strategos of the Zaibach Empire, whatever that is.

Hitomi: ::blink blink:: Who are you?

Yoshimi: I am Yoshimi Hydeoshi, Penguin's Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing fan-fiction character.

Principessa/Celena: And a very good fan-fic character, too!

Penguin: Arigatou!

Yoshimi: Anyway, call yourself "Pengi-sama" or something. Don't use my name while you have relations to this blue haired Strategos.

Penguin: Okay, okay, I'll call myself Penguin Hina Megami-sama. That work?

Yoshimi: Fine.

(Yoshimi exits, content. Sango and Shippo enter, unnoticed.)