InuYasha Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Decisions ❯ Chapter 4

Decisions

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any characters associated with it.

 

 

Chapter Four

 

Kikyo turned toward the movement in the woods and saw, much to her astonishment, all of the people that Naraku had said that he killed along with some of his former minions. She was so surprised that it didn't even compute that some of the group went into battle mode and drew their make-shift weapons when they saw Kagome lying at Kikyo's feet. Her eyes found Inuyasha and stayed on him. “You're…alive.”

 

“Kikyo, what did you do to Kagome?!” Inuyasha asked her urgently, as he rushed to Kagome's side.

 

“She told me that you hade died in the battle with Naraku.” Kikyo still couldn't believe that he was alive. But she finally heard his question when he repeated it more urgently as he felt for her pulse. It was slow, but steady. She's alive, he thought with relief. I have no idea how she survived, but she's okay. Kikyo must have come and defeated Naraku before he could finish off Kagome. “She's alive everyone.” Everyone let out their collective breaths and lowered their weapons, but they kept them ready just in case Kikyo decided to either kill Kagome or drag Inuyasha to Hell with her.

 

Inuyasha looked up when Kikyo answered his earlier question. “Of course she's alive, but she used up most of her energy. Naraku is a really tough opponent, not to mention what she did for me.”

 

Sango glared at Kikyo. “So you actually helped Kagome defeat Naraku? What, did you wait until she was half dead before you helped her? Or did you even pay attention to what was happening to her in battle?”

 

Kikyo stared at Sango. She understood the other woman's reasons for her accusations, but she wasn't herself back then and the rest of them needed to understand what happened and what Kikyo now had to do. “When I got here Naraku was already defeated and my…Ka-go-me was already passed out. I woke her up, demanding to know where Inuyasha was. She didn't give me any details, but she told me you all were dead. Since no other demon bodies are here, I'm assuming that he underestimated her and didn't realize how strong she actually was. I had always known-”

 

Inuyasha and the rest of the group, including Sesshomaru, but excluding Rin, looked shocked. Inuyasha interrupted Kikyo with a “WHAT?! Kagome…KAGOME DEFEATED NARAKU! ALL BY HERSELF!” Inuyasha yelled.

 

Rin just smiled and said, “Rin knew that the pretty Lady Kagome was strong.” She looked up at Sesshomaru. “Can the pretty lady be Rin's mommy?”

 

Sesshomaru ignored Rin's question, and her, for the moment. He was lost in his own thoughts. I knew the miko was strong, but strong enough to defeat Naraku when everyone working together, including me, was not able to? He narrowed his eyes in thought. How is that possible? (Author's Note: Sesshomaru is going to talk normally in his thoughts. Thinking in the third-person is just plain weird. Not that talking isn't too. Forgive me if I get mixed up and let him talk normally, but I may be taking care of that later just because it irritates me.)

 

Kikyo sighed. “You really have no idea how strong she really is, do you? She is a lot stronger than I was when I died. How do you think that I'm able to have as much power as I do now, with only a small part of her soul? The souls I take certainly don't have much power, if any. The only thing holding her back is that she doesn't know how to access the full extent of her powers, much less use them to their full potential.” Kikyo looked down at her reincarnation, a girl that was her, but was so different from her. “Her soul is 500 years older than mine was. Do you know how much stronger a soul can get in that amount of time? In addition, the jewel has been in her body, tied to her soul, ever since I died, increasing her power even more. She would be even stronger if the knowledge of mikos had not slowly been lost. I don't even think that they have mikos in her time. I can't even imagine what she could do if she were trained, but I guess we will soon find out…” Kikyo trailed off, thinking of what she had to do.

 

Everyone but Sesshomaru and Rin gaped at Kikyo. Sesshomaru was stunned as well, he was just better at hiding his emotions than everyone else. He didn't even compute the things about the time traveling. Rin was getting bored with the serious discussion and was looking around for some wild flowers to give to the Lady Kagome when she woke up. Maybe Rin can convince the pretty lady to be Rin's mommy! Rin thought happily. (Author's Note: While I think that Sesshomaru's talking in third-person is annoying, with Rin I think it's cute. I have no idea why it makes any difference who is doing it, but there it is. But, still, I think that I will be doing something about it later on because I might slip up.)

 

Sango was the first to slip out of her stupor. “What do you mean `we will soon find out'? Do you plan on training her? But you HATE her!”

 

Kikyo smiled sadly at Sango. “I don't hate her any longer. In fact, I don't think that I ever truly hated her. She was just in the way. I don't think that I thought she was significant enough to worry about. After all, I thought that she was so pathetic that she didn't have any idea how to use her powers. She didn't even know how to defend herself! But, I think that I understand her a little better now, not as well as she understands me, but enough to know some basic things about her. I know that she is not weak or lazy. She just didn't have anyone to teach her as I had to teach me. And I guess you could say that I will be training her, in a way, but not as you are thinking.”

 

Inuyasha stared at Kikyo uncertainly. “Kikyo…why are you being so nice to Kagome? Why haven't you tried to drag me to Hell with you? And where are your soul stealers?”

 

“I no longer have need of them.” Kikyo answered his last question, knowing that the other questions will be answered with the rest of her explanation. She sighed. I don't think that I'm going to be able to just get on with what I have to do without dramatics. I guess that it would be better to make him see the truth so that he can go on with his life.

 

“What do you mean you no longer have need of them? Kikyo, you'll die if you don't get souls!” Inuyasha stilled, letting his bangs shield his eyes from the rest of the group. “Or is it time for me to fulfill my promise to you now that the jewel is going to be complete.” He whispered the last, more of a statement than a question. He knew that he would descend to Hell with her eventually as his punishment for failing to protect her. The least I can do is share her fate.

 

His last whispered statement/question ripped Kikyo's heart in two. “This is one of the things that I need to talk to you about. I only just realized it myself…you don't love me. You can't. You don't even know me. If you had really loved me, then you would have known that that lump of clay that that ogress brought to `life' was not me. As my reincarnation…no, KAGOME, said earlier, I would never have intentionally caused so much pain to someone that I loved. And I do love you Inuyasha, but if you are guilty of not knowing me, then I am guilty of not knowing you, before. I do know you now though. I have watched you with her and I know that you would have not betrayed me. Love can exist without trust…but without trust, love is not worth anything. It leads only to heartbreak, as both you and I know. You didn't really trust me and I didn't trust you. And, when I was resurrected, that lack of trust continued, at least on your part. On some level, I knew that I could trust you to keep your promise to share my fate, but that is not my fate. I know that it is obvious now, but how could my soul go to Hell when I have a reincarnation 500 years in the future? Plus, my soul is not exactly my own; it is just a part of hers. I still find it ironic that someone that had no memory of me in life was the only one to figure out that there was something wrong with the way that I was acting…although it does make since that she would know because she is me. She knew that I would have never been the sort of person to become a parasite and condemn innocent girls just to save myself. She knew this because she would never do it. She also knew that I would have wanted Inuyasha to be happy and not blame him for something that was not even his fault. She saw all this and begged me to let her heal me. She figured out that the ogress somehow contaminated my soul with the hate and bitterness that filled my last moments and that each soul that I stole and consumed further contaminated me. She said that I probably could have purified my soul myself if it had not been so small that it was overpowered by darkness. That darkness fed the hate and allowed it to continue to govern my actions toward you all. She said that she knew that I was not beyond hope because she had seen flashes of my old self when I played the priestess at the villages I visited. I knew that she was right and had to fight the darkness contaminating my soul in order to accept her help. Together, even though she was almost depleted from defeating Naraku, we found the evil darkness and purified my soul. The girls' souls were freed to continue their journey. The soul stealers were purified with the darkness. Kagome was exhausted and passed out. Then you all came. Kagome is a kind, understanding, and very compassionate young woman. I feel honored to know that I am a part of her.”

 

Silence reined as Kikyo finished her speech, especially with Inuyasha. He felt so guilty and stricken when she had said that he didn't love her, had never truly loved her. He wanted to yell at her and tell her that she was wrong, but a small voice in the back of his mind told him that she might be right. If he had really loved her, he would have known that she wasn't like that. He was rarely reasonable about something that he didn't like to hear, but this was just too important and he couldn't see how he could convince her otherwise when a part of him admitted the ring of truth in her reasoning.

 

Kikyo looked at Inuyasha sadly. “A part of me will always love you, Inuyasha. Maybe if we had had more time with each other, none of this would have happened, but we cannot change the past, nor should we wish to. Everything happens for a reason, even if we can't know what that reason is. No matter how sad an occurrence, we have to remember that and keep on living. That is what I want you to do: get on with your life. Find someone to love and have a happy life together. Don't blame yourself for my death and try not to mourn me too much. You deserve to be happy, Inuyasha. Don't pass it up just because of what happened between us.”

 

Inuyasha looked panicky. “Kikyo, what are you saying? Are you going to allow yourself to die? We have the Shikon now. We can bring you back to-”

 

Kikyo interrupted Inuyasha before he could get even more worked up. “We cannot make that wish on the jewel because my soul's fate in this time has already been decided. The events leading to my reincarnation in this time have already been set in motion and I cannot let destiny be altered. That is the way that this works. My soul is already on its way to another home. I cannot continue to hold this form without consuming other souls.”

 

“YOU CAN'T JUST DIE!” Inuyasha cried out.

 

“GUYS!” Sango yelled, interrupting them. She was kneeling beside Kagome and trying to make sure that she was okay, but she wasn't. “There is something wrong! Kagome's pulse…It's SLOWING DOWN!” Everyone hurried over to Kagome's body and looked down at her. Her breathing was becoming fast and she was taking shuddering breaths. Sango felt her forehead. “She's burning up!”

 

Miroku put his hand on her forehead. “Her energy is fading. It's like she can't recoup the energy that she lost.”

 

“She is dying.”

 

Everyone turned to look at Kikyo. Sango yelled. “What do you mean she's dying? We can still save her. We just have to get her to Kaede.”

 

“My sister cannot save her. She used up too much energy between the fight and purifying both the jewel and my soul. This would have happened eventually, even if she had not used up so much energy. A body cannot survive when its soul is torn apart. The only reason ours did for so long is that we have so much spiritual power. Our respective parts of our soul fed off of that energy in order to sustain themselves. I had to resort to using other people's souls to keep my soul from dying. Kagome's part just had her energy to feed off of. Now that she doesn't have that energy anymore, her body is dying. I must-”

 

Shippo, quiet up until this point with worry for his mama, interrupted her. “But Mama was always getting stronger! She can't be dying!” he started sobbing into the sleeping Kagome's shoulder.

 

Kikyo smiled sadly at the young kitsune. “The only reason she seemed to be getting stronger is that she was steadily learning how to unlock and use more of her powers. She was steadily getting weaker ever since her soul was torn apart. That is why it must be put back together again. I was starting the chant to do this when you all came.”

 

Shippo sniffled. “But doesn't that mean that you will die?”

 

Really smiling for the first time since seeing the group, Kikyo explained. “I won't really die. I will be going back to where I belong. I am a part of Kagome and as long as our soul lives, I will not die. I expect that I will be a lot more happy and alive there than I ever was in this clay body.”

 

Inuyasha couldn't accept that he wouldn't even have the chance to see if they could overcome their problems. But he was really worried about Kagome and what would happen to her if her soul was not made whole again. He didn't know what to do and he said so.

 

Sesshomaru looked at his half-brother in disgust. “You really haven't been listening have you.” He stated rather than asked.

 

Kikyo smiled. “Inuyasha will understand when he needs to, if he needs to. I really don't know what the future holds, but I will be watching from inside Kagome. Expect her to be a lot stronger with her soul whole again.” Kikyo stared into Inuyasha's eyes. “Don't forget what I said, Inuyasha.” And, proving that she really did know the hanyou now. “And don't do anything stupid when I leave this body. You really don't want to become a full demon or a human.”

 

With everything finally said, Kikyo started the chant to repair the torn soul. The group could feel the power of the spell that Kikyo was chanting as the wind picked up. Just as the wind was becoming unbearable to the humans and the small kit, it suddenly stopped. They all looked to where Kikyo was standing. She smiled at all of them before the clay body that she had been inhabiting for the last two years disintegrated, slowly blowing away with the much gentler wind that was blowing in the aftermath of the spell.

 

 

So…how was that? It's a lot longer than the other chapters. What will the pairings be? I have no idea. I may make this a crossover at a later date, but for right now I'm leaning toward a Kagome/Inuyasha pairing, much as I hate to say it. Not that there is anything wrong with those pairings…I just think that some of the other pairings are more interesting in fanfictions, especially with crossovers. I really think that Kagome and Inuyasha are meant to be together in the anime; Inuyasha is just stupid when it comes to love. This pairing seems like the right thing for this story…although I do LOVE Kagome/Kurama pairings (I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of it's characters either, Yoshihiro Togashi does, much as I hate to say it seeing as how I would LOVE to have Kurama, but only if him and Sesshomaru could get along)…

 

Also, I don't really know that much about the belief system surrounding reincarnation and the like. Although, since it is a theological subject, it should be open to interpretation. This is just how I would imagine reincarnation to work with the growth of souls and all. If it is not right I really don't want to hear about it, so please don't give me reviews that go on and on about the things that I got wrong. This is fiction; it's not like I'm writing a book on the subject that is going to be read by millions. I'm not going to corrupt everyone into believing what I say is gospel. I doubt that anyone will even read the thing much less take anything that it says here seriously. I just want to write a good story that I hope will entertain at least a few people (although I doubt it since you have so many fanfics to choose from that you probably will not even stumble across mine, much less read it and enjoy it. It is probably boring anyway, what with the lack of action.) In case you haven't noticed, I'm very insecure about my writing. This is my first one so I don't know how it will go. Okay, enough with the rambling and pity partying! I'm going to write this for myself so that I can see what happens and if you don't like it, then you don't have to read it! I really don't care if you flame me…Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I do! It would hurt my feelings and make me feel even more inferior than I already do. If I get too many of them, I'll just delete the story off the site and finish writing it for my own enjoyment.

 

Don't let the above paragraph fool you…I love everyone! It's just that I tend to think too much about some things. I also have slight mood swings. My mind works in mysterious ways…

 

Have you noticed how much I love to use the …'s?

 

SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!