InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Day to Play ❯ Test of Faith ( Chapter 7 )

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER SEVEN

 

Test of Faith

 

 

 

“You have tested my patience to no end, Inuyasha. No more. I have had enough!” fumed Sesshoumaru.

 

Leaving a trembling Inuyasha behind in his wake, Sesshoumaru stormed out of the room, raking his claws through the bed curtains and ripping them from their moorings. It was a wonder the door did not shatter when the boom of its slamming echoed throughout the corridors.

 

`Will he forever be a faithless coward? Never trusting my acceptance? How can he love me if he has no faith in me?' Sesshoumaru questioned himself when, perhaps, he should have been questioning his mate.

 

Nevertheless, driven by anger, he unsheathed Tokijin and sliced through curtains, shattered decorative fixtures and wooden structures while he raced down the great halls. He could remember only a handful of times he had been close to harboring this much anger.

 

`I need to get out of here and breathe! His scent is suffocating.'

 

Though the storm still raged, Sesshoumaru stepped out into the dark moonless night that was lit only by flashes of lightening. He gazed into the violence his soul now shared. The once tall slender figure of the regal aristocratic lord morphed into his true demon form, that of a great white dog. His shoulder height was nearly as tall as the castle walls. Clearing the wall in one bound, he headed north toward the cold mouth of the nearby river, howling and raking down trees as he streaked over the terrain. He wanted the feel of the earth tearing beneath his claws as he ran through the countryside. The quake of the ground and echoing anger overrode the clash of the storm, sending nearby villagers into a state of fright.

 

Sesshoumaru didn't give a damn. Let them feel his fury.

 

He ran at a fierce pace until the storm was but a distant rumble and stars, brighter with the loss of the moon's illumination, lit the sky. Exhaustion slowed him to a leisurely stroll along the river's shore. Testing the water with a great paw, he decided to step in and immerse himself in the chilly water in order to wash away the remaining anger. A stone ledge jutting from the shore, provided a resting place to dry. The great dog threw torrents of water from his fur as he exited the water and plopped down on the ledge with a loud `humph'. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, gathering his thoughts, and let out a sigh that sounded more like a snort.

 

`I can't very well kill him now that there are pups, but something has to change. Why does he do this? I have given him no reason to distrust me. Why did he not want me to see him…her? It is only reasonable that he would need to be female in human form to carry the pups.'

 

He scratched his fur-covered nose with his paw and yawned. `Deep down, what would cause such faithlessness?'

 

Sesshoumaru began at the beginning of Inuyasha's life. His father and mother had died when he was very young, essentially abandoning him. His only living relative, Sesshoumaru, rejected him for most of his life. The dead miko didn't help by trying to draw him in then turning against him. His only strong attachments had failed him when he needed them most.

 

`He must not have given himself the pleasure of becoming deeply bonded to his friends, protecting himself from getting hurt again. I guess I'm another matter altogether. He has put himself in a position to be hurt and that scares him. Rejection. Abandonment. He's still a child and I have not yet earned his trust. It will take time, perhaps a very long time. If I don't get back to him soon, he will think I've abandoned him too. Ignorant hanyou,' Sesshoumaru thought with a sigh.

 

~*~

 

Inuyasha covered her ears with her hands at the crashing noises coming from the corridor .

 

Kaede rose from the chaise lounge and came to sit on the edge of the bed. “Give him time, Inuyasha. He'll calm down and then you two can talk about this,” she murmured in soothing tones.

 

“He saw me and now he hates me, Kaede,” mumbled Inuyasha.

 

“You don't know that. He is angry, yes, but did it occur to you that it is not because you are female tonight, but because you didn't trust him enough to accept what you have become, even though it is temporary?”

 

Inuyasha rubbed her temples. “I…don't know. I really don't.”

 

“Would Lord Sesshoumaru tolerate from anyone else the behavior you have exhibited since becoming pregnant?”

 

“No.”

 

“Why do you think he has given you that privilege, Inuyasha?”

 

“I don't know.”

 

“Oh, come now, Inuyasha,” she scolded him. “You can do better than that.”

 

A light tentative knock sounded at the door.

 

“Inuyasha?”

 

Inuyasha tucked the sheet and blankets closer and simply nodded at the old woman who proceeded to open the door to allow his friends to enter. Astonishment crossed their faces as they viewed the vision before them. Inuyasha gazed back at them in dismay. Finally getting over the shock of the change in Inuyasha, they approached him…her.

 

“What happened, Inuyasha? We could hear Sesshoumaru rampaging through the halls?” asked Kagome as she climbed up on the bed next to him.

 

“He…” Inuyasha gulped, “…saw me.”

 

“You mean, he didn't know?” asked Sango, surprised that the great lord could be kept in the dark about anything.

 

Inuyasha shook her head while staring down at the sheets.

 

“So, you've been making him sleep alone on the moonless night?” asked the monk.

 

Inuyasha just nodded.

 

“No wonder, you stupid idiot!” exclaimed the monk and held back the urge to whack Inuyasha with his shakujo.

 

“I'm not stupid!” Inuyasha shot back.

 

“Oh, I think you are,” argued Miroku.

 

Inuyasha glared at him, not knowing exactly how to argue the point.

 

“Look, Inuyasha,” Kagome spoke softly while narrowing her eyes at Miroku and taking Inuyasha's hand in hers. “Put yourself in Sesshoumaru's place. He just found out that you've been hiding something very important from him, something you should have shared. You are his mate, the one he trusts to love him more than anyone else, if anyone else. How do you think he felt about you hiding this from him?”

 

Kagome paused for a long moment and knew by Inuyasha's silence that she hadn't gotten through to him…er…her. “How would you feel if Sesshoumaru went through some kind of big change and didn't let you know? Hid it from you,” she asked. “Tell me, Inuyasha. How would you feel?”

 

She paused again gazing at Inuyasha's furrowed brow and waited. Everyone remained silent and hoped the ignorant hanyou would be enlightened.

 

“Betrayed,” Inuyasha sighed. “I screwed up, didn't I, Kagome?”

 

“Big time, you idiot,” snorted Miroku.

 

“Stop calling me an idiot or I'll seriously hurt you in the morning, Miroku!”

 

“Cut it out, Miroku. I've already explained that Inuyasha's running on hormones right now and not thinking clearly. Give him…uh, her, a break, or I'm sure Sango will help me give you a good pounding,” Kagome threatened in defense of the female sitting beside her.

 

Memories of Sango's weapon connecting with his head on the many occasions he didn't control his roaming hands gave Miroku reason to wince and reconsider his attitude. His eyes roamed from Kagome to Sango, the demon exterminator, so small, but so very strong.

 

“I apologize, Inuyasha. I'll help any way I can,” Miroku finally offered.

 

“The best thing you can do is get out of here. Go check on the babies,” Kagome ordered with a scowl.

 

Miroku gladly consented, anxious to get away from the room full of women. They didn't realize how insulted he was by Inuyasha's secrecy. After all, they were supposed to be friends. And to hide it from his mate? How stupid could Inuyasha get? Or, was he just that insecure?

 

`That's probably been a big part of his problem lately,' thought Miroku, shedding the irritation with Inuyasha that had built up over the past few weeks. `Not only is he afraid of Sesshoumaru's reaction, but he was probably feeling guilty too.'

 

Miroku wandered down the hall looking for ways to help his best friend.

 

Inuyasha pulled her knees up and dropped her forehead onto them.

 

“What can I do to fix this?” she sighed.

 

“The very first thing you need to do is apologize to Sesshoumaru,” insisted Kagome.

 

“We could run some interference, Kagome,” suggested Sango.

 

”What do you mean, Sango?”

 

“Well, maybe you should give him another lesson in hormones and try to lay some of the blame on that.”

 

“I think Sesshoumaru is too intelligent not to know that this starts deeper than hormones. It won't be enough.” Kagome shook her head.

 

Kaede interrupted. “I'm sure Sesshoumaru would understand if you simply explained it to him, Inuyasha.”

 

“What do you mean?” questioned Inuyasha, his expression showing no understanding whatsoever.

 

Kagome smacked her forehead in exasperation. “You really don't understand, do you?”

 

“Understand what?”

 

“Gods! Why you kept this from Sesshoumaru!”

 

“Well, yeah! I thought he would kick me out for being a woman.”

 

“And, why didn't you trust him?” Kagome raised her eyebrows.

 

Inuyasha frowned.

 

“You've never trusted him, have you, Inuyasha? Not just now,” Sango asked in nearly a whisper.

 

“No.” Raw emotion swept across Inuyasha's face. How could he ever trust anyone completely?

 

“Why do you think that is?” coaxed Sango.

 

“You're giving me a headache,” scowled Inuyasha.

 

Kagome shook her head. “Do you want to know why you don't trust him?”

 

Inuyasha stared at Kagome for a moment then nodded her head. Maybe if she knew, she could fix things with Sesshoumaru.

 

“Kikyou was the last person you loved, right?” asked Kagome.

 

“Yeah,” Inuyasha mumbled and stared down into the sheets. He'd been doing a lot of that.

 

“And, she hurt you, yes?”

 

Inuyasha nodded.

 

“You've had to survive alone for years without your parents, the people who meant the most to you. They're gone and you're always afraid Sesshoumaru will disappear from your life, too.”

 

Inuyasha continued to stare into the sheets, tugging at a piece of lint that wasn't there. She agreed with Kagome, nodding, not looking up, instead, taking her pain out on the nonexistent piece of lint.

 

“You haven't fully accepted his love for you. You don't believe in him and he knows it. He's hurt. You've got to stop expecting the worst, Inuyasha, or you'll never be happy and you won't be able to make Sesshoumaru happy.”

 

“I don't know how to do that, Kagome,” complained Inuyasha.

 

“Try your best. That's all you can do. And, promise Sesshoumaru you'll try, okay?”

 

“If he ever comes back,” muttered Inuyasha.

 

“Um, I think you forgot whose castle this is,” Kagome said with a grin and slapped Inuyasha on the arm.

 

Inuyasha gave her a half-hearted grin.

 

“It's settled then. You know how Sesshoumaru hates for his emotions to get the better of him. I'm sure he'll be back soon, Inuyasha,” Kagome reassured, patting Inuyasha's leg. “I'm going to check on the pups and then go to bed.”

 

“I'm coming with you,” Inuyasha insisted, hopping from the bed and groaning as the forgotten stitches pulled at her skin.

 

Kaede stoked the dying embers and added a new log to the fire while the women left the room. Izayoi and Ken'Ichi were sleeping peacefully, so Kagome and Sango went on to bed, leaving Inuyasha alone with the pups. Inuyasha carefully lifted both pups into her arms and carried them to a large leather chair. They continued to sleep as she cuddled them close and caressed their cheeks, sniffed their scent, kissed their faces, and took comfort in the product of her and Sesshoumaru's love for one another.

 

Once, having fallen asleep, Inuyasha, awakened by her head nodding, decided it was best to return the pups to their bassinet. She shuffled back to the royal bedchamber. The bed was just too lonely with Sesshoumaru out of the castle, gone to who knows where. She grabbed a sheet from the bed, curled up in front of the fire and watched the flames lick at the flue. Sleep evaded her as she listened for any sign of Sesshoumaru's return.

 

~*~

 

As Sesshoumaru began to pick up speed in his jaunt back to the castle, a sharp, burning sensation shot through Sesshoumaru's left side. He stopped and turned his head to find the source of his pain. A spear, large enough to pierce his thick hide and sink into the muscle was sticking out from his left flank. He narrowed his eyes in the direction from which the weapon had been launched only to have another spear lodge itself in the left side of his neck. A howl ripped from his chest as he turned to dispose of his attackers. Another spear struck him in the chest before he dispatched the group of men and their crude spearing machine with one swipe of his gigantic claws. A few swipes of claws from his back paw managed to dislodge the spear in his neck and side, but the spear in his chest was unreachable in his current form. However, if he changed forms, the spear would cause a mortal wound. He needed to stay in his dog demon form.

 

Between his previous exhaustion and his new wounds, flight was impossible. If he didn't hurry, the sun would rise before he could make it back to the castle. He would be vulnerable come dawn. Shuffling forward along the riverbank, he had to struggle over boulders and fallen trees while constantly scanning for a secluded spot to rest in the event he didn't make it back to Inuyasha in time.

 

`I have to make it back!' he thought upon imagining his pups in Inuyasha's arms. That vision led him on, quickening his pace until he could see the outline of his castle, his and Inuyasha's home. He dragged his left side, driving forward with determination.

 

Inuyasha was first to hear the whimpering outside the castle walls. She ran to the balcony doors throwing them open. `Where is he?'

 

More whimpers guided her line of sight to the castle wall, directly in front of her. In a panic, she raced from the room, down corridors, throwing open the entrance doors. The scraping at the castle gates caused her heart to drop into the pit of her stomach. Throwing the latch, the gate flew open, revealing a mass of white fur dripping crimson blood that had splattered everywhere and pooled on the ground beneath Inuyasha's feet.

 

He was standing in his mate's own life's blood!

 

Inuyasha's friends were startled awake by the sounds of a woman's cries for help. The adrenaline rush immediately drew them out of their rooms. Miroku grabbed his staff, Sango her boomerang, Hiraikotsu, and Kagome her bow and arrows. Together, they raced toward the sound.

 

A low rumble left Sesshoumaru's chest as blood oozed from his mouth. Inuyasha, being half dog demon understood Sesshoumaru's attempt at communication as she wound her fingers into the bloodstained fur.

 

“I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I have failed you, failed our family,” coughed Sesshoumaru, remorseful that he had not better understood his mate.

 

“No you haven't. You're not going to leave me. No!” cried Inuyasha tugging at the fur. Sesshoumaru's words frightened him. “You can't. I won't let you. Don't you dare even think that way, you bastard!”

 

Sesshoumaru chuckled at Inuyasha's choice of words and winced in pain. “Inuyasha?”

 

“Yes, Sess,” sobbed Inuyasha into the fur.

 

“I'll be alright. You're overreacting…again.”

 

“You're not alright!”

 

“I love you, regardless,” Sesshoumaru sighed, hoping to begin bridging the rift between them. “You do know that?”

 

Inuyasha stared at him. “You…you don't hate me? You don't hate me for being like this?”

 

“No, Inuyasha,” murmured Sesshoumaru, still feeling the pain from Inuyasha's distrust despite the fact that Inuyasha had every reason to trust no one.

 

Burying her face into Sesshoumaru's thick fur, Inuyasha began to tremble. “I'm sorry I didn't trust you. I promise, I'll try harder, okay?”

 

The great white dog snorted and his body seemed to sink into the earth. “I'm so tired, Inuyasha. I need someone to remove this spear.”

 

Inuyasha scanned the area then turned back to Sesshoumaru. “I don't want to leave you out here all alone.”

 

“I'll be fine. Go and retrieve someone.”

 

Inuyasha took off running and ran smack into Miroku as they met at the gate. “Miroku! Sesshoumaru needs help. He needs…” Inuyasha thought for a moment, “…very large servants, boars, something like that.”

 

“What's the problem?” asked Miroku and furrowed his brow at Inuyasha's seeming panic.

 

“We gotta get a spear out of Sess's chest and we just arent' big enough and I want to stay with him…” Inuyasha rapidly rambled.

 

“I'll stay with you while Miroku…” began Kagome who had run up behind Miroku, but was cut off.

 

“No, Kilala can get me to his servants quicker,” interjected Sango. “Kilala!” she called to her neko. “Miroku can stand guard here.”

 

Kilala, the great firecat demon, swooped down from the sky and landed before Sango, instantly lying down to give Sango access to her back. Sango took off without another word. Inuyasha looked to Kagome and Miroku for direction.

 

“That's one big spear you've got there, Sesshoumaru,” frowned Miroku.

 

The great beast lay silent.

 

“He's not gonna die, is he?” asked Inuyasha in a hushed whisper while staring at her mate.

 

Sesshoumaru grunted when Inuyasha flung herself back into the thick coat of fur at Sesshoumaru's neck. Were it Inuyasha, the wound would heal as soon as the sun's rays spilled over the horizon. But, Sesshoumaru wasn't a hanyou. There would be no change come morning. He was in his true form and Inuyasha had no idea how he would heal such a serious injury.

 

“You better not leave me. Don't you leave me, Sess. I…love you too much,” a very frightened hanyou mumbled into the long, silvery, white fur of his mate.

 

Inuyasha always found it difficult to say those three very important words and Sesshoumaru rarely heard them, even when they made love. He always found himself having to coax Inuyasha to express feelings other than irritation. It could be exasperating at times. Sesshoumaru realized how much it took for Inuyasha to overcome his insecurities, his lack of willingness to make himself vulnerable. Those words did more to soothe and begin the healing process than any medical ministrations ever could, even as darkness began to overcome Sesshoumaru's consciousness. He slid into it the painless darkness with calm warmth in his heart.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 

Thank you to all of my readers and reviewers. You are such an encouragement.

 

 

MM.ORG

 

Inukaglover815

Thank you for the wonderful review and scores. I'm glad you're going to stick with the story. ^_^ Yeah, mpreg really did gross me out, so I had to take up the challenge.

 

BLACKCATBUTIFUL

I'm so sorry that it has been so long since an update, but real life can interfere sometimes. Thank you for the review and the great scores. ^_^

 

PUMPKINPI7782

Thanks for the review! So, how did you like Sesshoumaru's reaction? ^_^

 

Jaden Birdie Blythe

Thank you for the review and I'm sorry it took so long to get this up. Hopefully, future chapters will be up much quicker.

 

Quiet Storm

Thanks so much for the review. I'm glad you enjoy the story so much. ^_^ Hope you're doing alright.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Disclaimer

 

Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.

 

 

~*~