InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Day to Play ❯ Despise ( Chapter 9 )

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Chapter Nine

 

Despise

 

 

 

 

 

"Inuyasha?” asked the great dog demon somewhat hesitantly.

 

“Mm?” His mate's muffled reply came from the face buried in the thick white fur.

 

“Why did you stay?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Why did you let me take you, make you my mate?”

 

This question had always been tugging at the back of Sesshoumaru's mind, but he let it be because he did not want to cause a rift between him and his mate. Inuyasha could not stalk off so easily now. He had pups to consider.

 

`Why is he asking this now? And, everything was going so nicely today,' thought Inuyasha. He sighed as he slid from Sesshoumaru's back and headed into the forest, to the place they had claimed as their own.

 

“Inuyasha,” called Sesshoumaru.

 

He turned and gazed at the Lord of the Western Lands, the aristocratic assassin, his brother, lover, and mate. Sesshoumaru strolled toward Inuyasha, the same familiar stoic expression on his face.

 

“Sess, do we have to talk about this now?” Inuyasha furrowed his brow. `I don't want to talk about it…ever!'

 

“Why do you insist on calling me `Sess' when you are well aware that I prefer `Sesshoumaru'? It is barely less than an insult. I have told you this before.”

 

Thankfully, Inuyasha was distracted from his thoughts.

 

“Yeah, and you're an arrogant bastard too,” scoffed Inuyasha, already irritated at having lost a perfect day to the not so perfect past.

 

“That did not answer my question, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru coldly stated.

 

If they were going to fight, they might as well air everything and Sesshoumaru had expected Inuyasha would never want to talk about their first night together.

 

“You can be so stupid, Sesshoumaru. When I say it…it's like…” Inuyasha searched for an analogy that Sesshoumaru would understand. “I'm trying to touch you, kiss you, something like that. I don't do it to piss you off. I do it because `Sesshoumaru' is something everyone uses to get your attention, but I am the only one that can call you `Sess' because…I love you and you are mine. No one else can touch you there.” Inuyasha frowned and stared hard at his mate, willing the stubborn youkai to understand.

 

Sesshoumaru stepped forward to loom over Inuyasha. “Yet, you called me `Sess' before we mated, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru pointed out, warning Inuyasha not to prove himself a liar.

 

Inuyasha hadn't taken that into consideration before making his choice of analogies and it forced him to think. He had addressed his brother with familiarity earlier, and that, with no second thought.

 

“Damn it! You've got to make everything so fucking hard, Sess,” complained Inuyasha and rubbed his right temple as he felt a severe headache coming on.

 

“You are my brother, right?” Inuyasha tried to reason with Sesshoumaru.

 

“And?”

 

“So I should have been allowed to call you whatever I wanted! I called you what I would have before we fought each other. I guess I liked it, okay?!”

 

“Why?”

 

“Damn it, Sess! You're really starting to piss me off and you sound like a two year old with all these questions.”

 

“I merely wish to understand why you constantly test my patience and yet, choose to remain by my side.”

 

Sesshoumaru did not realize, and would not admit to it if he did, that he simply needed Inuyasha and wanted assurance that his temperamental mate would never leave, a weakness he refused to acknowledge. Besides, the great lord would kill Inuyasha rather than allow anyone else to possess him. Hence, Sesshoumaru would rather make certain that Inuyasha remained in his possession than face the possibility of killing his mate, which meant that he either had to change Inuyasha's behavior or learn to live with it, and in order to do that, he needed to understand his mate.

 

“I don't try to `test your patience'. Look, just because you wanted to kill me didn't mean I wouldn't have really liked having an older brother to be friends with. Your hatred hurt, so I was only happy to fight you. It made it easier to take. I never really did hate you, Sess. I hated how you kept us apart. I needed you…so much, you bastard. I still do,” muttered Inuyasha then turned his pained visage from his lover.

 

“Inuyasha,” whispered Sesshoumaru as he reached out to comfort his mate.

 

“Don't touch me, Sesshoumaru,” warned Inuyasha and stepped back. He was pissed, hurt, and just wanted to be left alone.

 

`How he chooses to speak my name…He is separating himself. Now I understand.'

 

Sesshoumaru dropped his hand, confused about what else to do. T hey stood in silence, Inuyasha's head lowered, untamed hair covering his face, while a gentle breeze tried its best to wash away the pain.

 

Sesshoumaru placed a crooked finger beneath the curve of his lower lip and lost himself in thought. `Is this why he stayed? To keep his brother? Has Inuyasha simply accepted being my mate as a replacement for being my brother, and if so, does he despise me for it? That would explain why he is so easily irritated. Not good,' frowned Sesshoumaru.

 

Sesshoumaru decided to hazard another question. This must be resolved. “Do you despise being my mate, Inuyasha?” asked Sesshoumaru gazing down at the top of Inuyasha's head.

 

Blood flowed from the palms of Inuyasha's hands as his claws dug deep gashes. Before Sesshoumaru knew what hit him, he was on his back with Inuyasha firmly straddling him.

 

“Leave me the fuck alone,” hissed Inuyasha, his glare searing Sesshoumaru's eyes, then, he was gone.

 

Sesshoumaru sat up with his brow furrowed. He wiped his face and drew back his hand to look at it. He sniffed. Salt. Inuyasha had been crying. Blood stained the shoulder of his garments.

 

“Inuyasha,” he sighed rubbing his forehead.

 

Inuyahsa ran, dodging trees, leaping over boulders and brush, as though the hounds of hell were chasing him. High above, his mate followed and kept a safe distance while watching over him.

 

`Despise being his mate?! What the hell is his problem? I don't have to be anybody's mate, least of all his. That bastard. And what is this question about why I stayed? After all this time, he doesn't know?'

 

Inuyasha ran out of thoughts as he tried outrunning the ache in his heart. Gradually slowing his pace, he looked for a place to rest to be alone.

 

`Perfect!' he thought when he saw a dark hole in the side of a rock face.

 

He sniffed the entrance to the cave and finding no sign of occupation, inched his way into the dark, and felt along the walls as he moved forward. Sesshoumaru watched from above then found a nearby boulder from which to guard over his mate.

 

Inuyasha breathed a sigh of relief as he leaned back against the cool rock wall.

 

`What does he want from me? Haven't I already given him everything?' Inuyasha questioned clasping his knees to his chest and dropping his head. `Did I do something, say something wrong?'

 

There was no one there to answer him. He sat in the darkness with only the beating of his heart to fill the silence.

 

`Despise.'

 

The word echoed through his mind. A gentle breeze wafted through the entrance of the cave, bringing with it the scent of the one person he least wanted to see.

 

“Damn it all to hell!” growled Inuyasha. `I haven't had enough time to figure out what's going on and the stupid bastard won't leave me the hell alone! Despise!' Inuyasha humphed. `I'll show you despise!' he thought leaping to his feet, angered at his mate's overly possessive nature.

 

More out of the comfort of habit than the need for safety, Inuyasha always kept Tetsusaiga at his side. He wasn't about to give up the protection of his flaming red fire rat robe either. Only inside the castle, in the intimate presence of his mate, would he change to clothing more suitable to Sesshoumaru's aristocratic sensibilities.

 

Sesshoumaru sat on his boulder, the late afternoon breeze becoming stronger and whipping his long hair about his lithe figure. He stared at the mouth of the cave. One knee lazily propped the wrist of his long clawed hand. The other leg, barely bent, relaxed down the front of the boulder. His other arm lay in his lap with nothing else better to do. Though the wind brought movement to his hair and clothing, he sat still as the boulder, seemly a part of it. His eyes narrowed as a familiar light emanated from within the cave. `Tetsusaiga.' How many times had he battled that sword? Then it occurred to him.

 

`My mate is in danger!'

 

In one fluid motion, Sesshoumaru was on the ground, running for the cave, only to be met at the entrance by Tetsusaiga's blade ripping through his armor. He immediately retreated as pieces of his armor fell to the ground. The past came to haunt him in the glare of his mate's eyes when he looked to Inuyasha for an explanation.

 

“Is this a day to play, Inuyasha?” growled Sesshoumaru as he unsheathed Tokijin; the evil sword that was always screaming for Inuyasha's blood.

 

“I told you to leave me alone, Sesshoumaru,” hissed Inuyasha as he held Tetsusaiga in both hands, ready for the next swing.

 

“I do not do as I am told. In fact, no one is allowed to give me orders, including you, my mate,” condescended the stone cold Sesshoumaru through clenched teeth, returning Inuyasha's glare.

 

“You'll do it this time!” growled Inuyasha and rushed Sesshoumaru.

 

Sesshoumaru easily dodged the blade. “I take orders from no one, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru flatly stated.

 

Inuyasha didn't even see him move. He only felt the searing slash of Tokijin across his left arm. Whirling around to face his opponent, he felt another cut slice across his right arm.

 

“Damn it! How am I supposed to fight you if you keep doing that?!”

 

Inuyasha turned his head back to see Sesshoumaru calmly standing a few feet away. Carefully, slowly, so as not to set Sesshoumaru in motion, Inuyasha turned to face him. If Sesshoumaru's countenance had ever seemed expressionless before, it was lifeless now. Dead eyes stared back at Inuyasha. There wasn't even the forced coldness anymore. No one was home behind those smoky, amber eyes.

 

`I think I really did it this time, whatever `it' is. I might have to kill him,' thought Inuyasha as goose bumps traveled across the flesh that was frozen under Sesshoumaru's gaze.

 

Sesshoumaru felt it creeping up his sword arm and into his mind. No matter how hard he fought, the sword made its voice heard.

 

`Kill him, give me his blood.'

 

`No, he is my mate,' argued Sesshoumaru, battling the sword's one reason for existence.

 

`But, he despises you. He despises the Lord of the Western Lands. Give me his blood,' Tokijin hissed, appealing to Sesshoumaru's arrogance and doubt.

 

`He never said he despised me,' struggled Sesshoumaru, knowing in his heart that Inuyasha had not yet denied it.

 

`He's afraid to say it, but he does! You know it. Give me his blood,' whispered the sword. `Kill him. Give me his blood. He is not worthy of you. HE HATES YOU!'

 

Unable to continue fighting his doubts and Tokijin, Sesshoumaru raced toward Inuyasha, his sword held high as the battle continued to war within him.

 

`Yes! He despises you. Kill him!' sang Tokijin as its power flared to life. `Blood! I want his blood!'

 

Thunder roared when the two swords clashed. Inuyasha held his ground as their swords grated against one another. Something was wrong with Sesshoumaru. There were only glimpses of his soul in those dead eyes. This was not his brother.

 

Inuyasha gave a great shove, throwing Sesshoumaru several yards.

 

“He does not despise me,” hissed Sesshoumaru through clenched teeth, though the seed of doubt still remained.

 

“Sess?” Inuyasha hesitantly whispered as he approached.

 

Wincing in pain, Sesshoumaru raised himself to sit. He lifted Tokijin and stared at the blade glowing green.

 

“I should have destroyed you,” stated Sesshoumaru while studying the sword.

 

“Sesshoumaru?” Inuyasha raised Tetsusaiga to the ready and risked a close proximity to who ever he was fighting.

 

`You knew you would kill him one day. Isn't that why you didn't destroy me? You need me. Give me his blood!'

 

“Quiet!” Sesshoumaru commanded the blade.

 

“Fluffy!” yelled Inuyasha, hoping the term would reach through that cold beast to bring out his lover, his mate. Fear gripped him when he realized that he might have to do some serious damage to his mate.

 

`Kill him!' screamed Tokijin. Sesshoumaru's head whipped up to see his mate standing over him, Tetsusaiga held high. Reflexes. That's all it was. Instinct. Tokijin's blade whipped across Inuyasha's abdomen.

 

Fortunately, Inuyasha had been paying attention and made his leaping retreat. The gash wasn't much more than skin deep. Well, a little more. The hanyou took it in his usual battle stride.

 

“Sesshoumaru! Snap out of it,” called Inuyasha to the now growling, red-eyed demon.

 

`Kill him,' Tokijin hissed and sent visions of a dead, hacked-to-bits Inuyasha into Sesshoumaru's mind.

 

“No,” Sesshoumaru groaned and fell to his knees at the ache in his heart caused by the images shooting through his mind.

 

`He will only leave you. He hates you.'

 

“No. Stop,” he shook his head and dropped his chin to his chest.

 

`Kill him, now! I demand his blood as recompense for my own!' Tokijin's blade wailed, resonating throughout Sesshoumaru's body and mind.

 

“You won't have him!” yelled Sesshoumaru and raised the sword. Reversing the blade's direction, he thrust with determined finality.

 

“Sess!” gasped Inuyasha and ran to his mate.

 

Sesshoumaru took advantage of the sword's state of shock. Withdrawing it from his body, he grabbed a large stone and beat the blade into the ground until it shattered. Inuyasha dropped to his knees and grabbed Sesshoumaru's arm when his mate continued to pound at the fragments of Tokijin.

 

“Sess…Sess. You can stop now. Sess, it's destroyed,” murmured Inuyasha against Sesshoumaru's ear. He tried to pry the stone from Sesshoumaru's grip.

 

Sesshoumaru froze and settled the stone to the ground. Keeping his head bowed, he asked Inuyasha, “Do you despise me, Inuyasha?”

 

Sesshoumaru stared at the blood-soaked ground, waiting.

 

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Disclaimer

 

Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.