InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A First Time For Everything ❯ The Great Escape ( Chapter 8 )

Side note: I think I was neglected as a child…

 

 

A First Time For Everything

 

 

By Miztikal-Dragon

 

 

“The Great Escape” --- Boys Like Girls

 

 

It was funny how things happened, so slowly yet so quickly and it seemed like a lifetime could be over in nothing but a mere second. It was funny because even if it was expected it still hurt more than one could imagine, hurt so bad that it was hard to continue living. What was even funnier than anything else was how it all seemed to happen the same after it ended, if that makes any sense at all.

 

 

Funeral processions; always on a dark dreary day, the sun hiding behind the silently drifting clouds and the slight drizzle of raindrops on black umbrellas or on the exposed suit jackets and blazers. The priests and pastors all read from basically the same book, uttered the same words of sorrow and the same clouded eyes watching unseeing and leaking with moisture that never wanted to dry.

 

 

Long black and white hearses rolled down the street accompanied by motorcycle officers and their flashing lights of red and blue slowing down traffic or stopping it completely until the last vehicle made it in the long procession. People gave their blessings, said their peace, and remembered the now deceased, and rarely ever was it a negative speech. It was as though they were all trying to compare their pain or all trying to one up the other saying that their pain was worse than all the rest.

 

 

Funerals were overrated and she'd been to enough in her young life to know that they weren't where she wanted to spend the rest of her life going. This time however, instead of apologetic looks she received heated glares and even a few snooty comments. Okay, so maybe it wasn't the brightest thing coming to a funeral in a pair of jeans and a tight t-shirt, but the hell she was going to come to another funeral in depressing black and pretend that everything was going to be all right.

 

 

If she wanted to lie to herself she'd start telling herself that bluebirds were carnation yellow. She was mourning in her own way, comfortably, and if anyone had a problem with it they could have just asked her to leave, that at least would have given her a reason to punch someone in the face and blame it on the grief.

 

 

She didn't wait until all of the guests to leave to excuse herself, she waited until the decorative coffin was lowered into the ground then say a silent prayer and walk away. The dead didn't need a show of flash and money to know that she loved and respected them, she showed up and that's all she could offer at the time.

 

 

While the others would head back to begin the “mourning party” at the deceased's old residence and gorge themselves on finger foods and old memories, she was by herself dealing with everything the only way she knew how. Many of the people who showed up thought of her as childish and dismissed her with a passing glance, but she would not allow any of them to dismiss her or her feelings this day.

 

 

So she wasn't normal when it came to self-expression; everyone had their own quirks, yet to her it felt like personality flaws. She went home as quickly as her legs would take her, bypassing everything and grabbing the thing that now was the most important thing to her—an acoustic guitar.

 

 

It wasn't much but then again, it was all that she had left and she wasn't about to leave it behind. The wood was slick and she smiled to herself fingering the worn down strap before pulling it over her shoulder. All the memories it carried was heavy on her heart, but not enough to make her abandon it like a horrible burden. Out of everything else if all she could keep was an old guitar then that's all she would ever need for her meaningless existence.

 

 

Silently she left, just as she'd come, and yet instead of going on her merry and depressing way, she climbed up on the concrete stairwell in front of her building's door like she had many times before and lazily strummed the guitar. It was a little off key, but then again so was she and that's what made it so perfect.

 

 

She didn't have to think of the chords or what she wanted, it came to her like breathing did and instantly she lost herself. The song wasn't sad, yet it was full of the emotions that cut her deep and exposed her to the real world. She played for the dead the way he'd played for her all those times, singing the way only he could to make her smile and as her voice grew louder she felt more of the control she had slip away from her.

 

 

“Throw it away, forget yesterday, we'll make the great escape,” she was yelling out everything she couldn't express and her heart clenched in her chest, her lungs screamed, but she refused to stop herself. “We won't hear a word they say, they don't know us anyway. Watch it burn, let it die cause we are finally free tonight.”

 

 

All the emotions were building to a climax in her chest and it felt like she would die. She wanted to cry, hide herself away from the world and the worst part of it all was that she knew she couldn't. “Rin get down from there!”

 

 

It happened too fast for Rin to comprehend the situation; one moment she was lost in her grief and pain and the next her wrist was being viciously torn from the humming guitar strings and she was falling off the concrete stairwell. The fall wasn't neck breaking, more of a shocked stumble, but somehow she managed to rip a hole in her jeans and skin her knee.

 

 

The throbbing pain made her want to cry even more than before, it was all building up and seeing the tiny scratches and chip on the guitar was almost enough to send her over the edge. “It's called grievance counseling, cheap-o version. Thanks for the near death experience.”

 

 

Why did they all have to show up now? Why couldn't they just have waited in their depressing vehicles long enough for her to say what she needed to? No-Instead they stared and gawked at her as though she was the Anti-Christ and all she was doing was having a tiny nervous breakdown. Her being sprawled out on the ground like a pouting child cradling a dead man's guitar in her arms was merely coincidence to them.

 

 

“I can't believe you!” Rin looked up and glared at the polished woman standing over her, her long hair twirled into a bun and her black mourning clothes giving her the appearance of something she wasn't—high class. “Of all the days, why today?”

 

 

“Why not?” She bit back angrily shoving herself to her feet completely ignoring the faceless, nameless people silently shuffling into the building.

 

 

She didn't want to pretend that it was okay, not when people would be forcing themselves into a flat that was barely enough room for two people to co-exist in. She didn't want to think about all those people touching her belongings, damaging all her wonderful memories with their life stealing fingers.

 

 

“When do I get to grieve the way I want to?” She was almost yelling, sizing up her once friend like a teenager ready for a brawl after class ended. “I loved him too you know!”

 

 

“I don't care what you do Rin,” the woman spoke like a scolding mother, not some almost sister-in-law. “But next time do it behind closed doors. Nobody wants to see you make yourself more of a fool than you've already done.”

 

 

If Rin had been any smaller of a person, the woman would have been on the pavement in seconds flat memorizing the bitter taste of a sharp knuckle sandwich; but then again, Rin wasn't that petty.

 

 

“I hate you Sango,” Rin spat giving the woman in front of her the dirtiest glare she could muster up. “You wouldn't understand our feelings for each other even if they bit you on the ass!”

 

 

She didn't stand there waiting for another mourner to make their way into the two person fight, Rin didn't even wait for another insult to be flung her way. Instead, Rin did the only thing she could think of to do, she turned her back on everyone and left. She wasn't made of steel like Sango pretended to be, but she wasn't going to allow them a chance to drag her down because she handled her emotions differently.

 

 

So what if she couldn't cry at funerals anymore, she'd gone to enough in her lifetime already and each experience made her more numb than the previous one. It wasn't like Rin was asking for a pity party, she just wanted to be herself and deal with it the way she knew how. They didn't need to pass judgment on her because she already did enough for everyone.

 

 

Why couldn't she just walk into a black hole and disappear from everyone's radar? Why wasn't she allowed to be saved from this kind of torture and heartache, was she not deserving enough? Well whether she was or wasn't, honestly she didn't want to know the answer. All she did know was now she would once again have to pick up the crudely broken pieces of her life and this time there would be no gentle eyes and caring arms to hold her in place while she crumbled. This time there would be no love—no Kohaku and it broke her heart.

 

 

It was more than a long while later that she cared to gaze up at a street sign in the real world, but it was okay, she wasn't planning on going home anytime soon. Sango might be waiting with her all seeing and cruel eyes and rip into her again about how deep her pain was. After all, Rin only lost her fiancée—the love of her life and Sango had lost her only brother, so how could Rin ever dare to compare to Sango? A sister's pain was always worse than a lover's.

 

 

Sango might even try to blame her for Kohaku's death, Rin had been blamed for a death before so she already knew the routine and she didn't want to be apart of yet another round of the blame game. Rin was just too tired of it all, all the hurt, all of the endings that seemed to fall at her feet; however, she was more tired of people needing to blame someone and choosing her as the best candidate.

 

 

Maybe in the big grand scheme of things she was supposed to be the one everyone blamed, her father had always said having nothing builds character, and if that were true then she would have character growing out of her ears. Then again, maybe she was only kidding herself, maybe, just maybe, it wasn't in her stars to be anything but unhappy. And if that was the real deal, then she wanted no part of the struggle of being alive and she'd end it; just like the kid who decided it for Kohaku.

 

 

Eventually she ended up at some park miles away from her now lonely and empty flat and she sat down in front of the ridiculous fountain. If she had wanted to, Rin could have sat on a nearby bench, but the sound of rushing water and of swimming fish felt more relaxing. At first she just sat there holding the guitar in her lap and thinking about every memory she had, both good and bad allowing herself to drift into a world that no longer existed for her.

 

 

It wasn't in the least pleasant, yet it was comforting and Rin didn't know if it was the best idea. People gave her weird looks as the walked by, a soundless musician, a real life statue in a pair of blue jeans and a band t-shirt and if Rin could have her way, she would have asked to be turned into stone.

 

 

Rin made it a daily routine, shower, dress, grab the guitar, and walk the long distance to the park and sit in front of the same fountain. Some days she would play a song, others she would pretend she was the statue she wanted to be; although, at the end of everyday that went by left her with the same overwhelming emptiness.

 

 

She tried lifting her spirits and instead of glaring at any passerby who dropped a coin or two next to her, she brought her guitar case and a plastic bag and at the end of each day she'd walk the streets giving it to the street performers.

 

 

Rin could have made a decent living with the change alone, but she didn't need or want it so she gave it away. Suffering people would be able to live another day if they chose to and all she was doing was giving them the means to do as such. It didn't matter if she sounded a little hypocritical because she didn't need a stranger's pity or charity, all she wanted was to be forgotten like history.

 

 

With her daily routine came some unwanted “perks” that she called inconveniences and it ruined any chance of her being simply forgotten. Never once did she look up at any of her admirers, she didn't want to see the looks on their faces so she tried to keep her eyes on her instrument or closed. And when those options weren't available, Rin watched people's feet. It was almost disturbing, the wide ranges of shoes people wore and the few who obviously didn't take care of themselves the way they should have.

 

 

As odd as it may have sounded, Rin was able to build a world around the sounds of the park and people's feet. There was just so many different kinds, all with their own statements and styles and personalities, most over exaggerated albeit, but it was her secret world so what did it really matter.

 

 

Some feet though were consistent, the same style, almost the same color and deep down Rin knew they belonged to the same person. It was easy to tell by the size that it was a male, if you were ignoring the fact that they were expensive and most definitely Italian and always in the company of a suit. Rin knew what upper class looked like and she didn't need to be a psychic to know he'd been watching her.

 

 

She felt his eyes staring at her for the ten minutes he stood there each day and it unnerved her. Why would he stop to watch a girl play a guitar? As plain to see like the shoes on his feet were that he had more than spare changed in his pocket, but never once did he part with a dime of it. He made Rin want to start screaming at him like a banshee until he disappeared, but she hadn't spoken in so long she couldn't remember what she sounded like.

 

 

Like everyone else Rin had okay days where she was able to cope with her emotions; she had bad days and then she had days that felt like she was in a never-ending nightmare. On those horrible days she sat in the park like a log staring into the empty space that seemed to take over more and more space in her mind.

 

 

And more often than not those expensive Italian shoes stopped, not too far from where she limply sat and the world would come crashing down on her. It wasn't the most wonderful feeling, but on those days she felt like she was slowly suffocating, mentally screaming for help until he arrived to keep her from drowning.

 

 

And then he stopped coming and her eyes searched for the same Italian shoes that kept her sane. No, it wasn't good for a girl like her to drown in her sorrows and lose everything while on a mental vacation, but it's where Rin was stuck. She still refused to look the passerby's in the face, yet she started noticing what they wore and how those nameless faceless people behaved and she wished she never gazed up to see as much.

 

 

It was a stupid thought followed by paranoia and depression that ran almost as deep as the love that she felt for Kohaku. Even without seeing their faces she could still read their body language and it struck her life a knife to the chest. People were happy, hugging, and holding hands; they were living a life that Rin merely existed in like some pathetic and useless stage prop.

 

 

Everything Rin had to look forward to in life was gone, all being carried away like a feather in a breeze and she wondered if there was ever a way for someone to get up after falling as hard as she did because if there was she knew that there was no way that she'd get to be one of the lucky ones. Love had built her up taller than the Chrysler building and it was also love that dug her a ten foot grave and watched her fall inside.

 

 

Rin felt more sluggish and exhausted as the days without seeing Mr. Italian shoes grew, eating was near impossible and the anti-depression pills weren't working the way they should have been because she could still feel her heart throbbing and aching. They told her the pain would stop, told her she'd start feeling better—well that was the last time she took advise from a doctor who let her sleep over. It was the last time she'd trust a friend.

 

 

But like a good girl, before leaving for the park she downed her prescription and chased it with half a glass of water. She could already tell that it wasn't going to be a good day or anywhere near it and that sunk any good thoughts that could have drifted to the back of her mind. The walk took longer than it normally would, though she never knew what time it was anymore, she hadn't bothered to even remember what day it was, but she wouldn't forget her guitar.

 

 

When Rin finally made it to her spot in front of the fountain she was already short of breath and more tired than she'd felt in a long while. Her eyes were drooping, though she still strummed the strings like she did normally. She hadn't seen him, her Italian shoes in what felt like decades, but that was okay because she was beginning to doubt she would be leaving her current spot.

 

 

It felt almost ironic that there was only one tune on her mind and she'd been playing it for a while and it made her smile. It was only fitting to play it now and she cleared her throat as much as possible. She wanted to let her admirers know exactly what was on her mind and it felt perfect. Almost as perfect as being held by Kohaku had been when he was alive. He was dead now though.

 

 

“All of the wasted time, the hours that were left behind,” her voice was soft though she knew she didn't have the strength to get any louder. “The answers that we'll never find, they don't mean a thing tonight.”

 

 

The feet, they had somehow multiplied and she closed her eyes feeling the cold moisture of her tears slip down her face. The song wasn't meant to sound sad after all it was a song about a great escape. It was happy, but her ears weren't the ones lying to her.

 

 

“Throw it away, forget yesterday we'll make the great escape,” Rin had lost feeling in her legs moments before and despite knowing the end was near she could feel the smile on her face. “We won't hear a word they say, they don't know us anyway. Watch it burn, let it die…”

 

 

The musical chords of the strumming guitar stopped and Rin felt herself slump against the concrete behind her. She felt like she was slowly suffocating again, but she knew she was still breathing. Rin could hear the worried voices buzzing by her ears and then a sharp contrast of a large hand cupping the back of her head. Her eyes were heavy and she tried to force them open wondering if her vision was going since all she could see was silver and smell the soft cologne of someone familiar.

 

 

“…Cause we are finally free tonight,” she could feel herself being lifted as her voice died. Was this what it felt like to die? If it was it felt numb and weird, but Rin was glad she could only go once because she wasn't sure if she could do it again.

 

 

Things were meant to happen the way they had a tendency to do; after all, he'd happened by her completely by chance. He'd been at the funeral home with his half brother going over their father's choice of burial plots. There had been several different processions set up, yet hers had been going on and out of an endless sea of black he spotted blue and green.

 

 

It wasn't traditional to come to a funeral in street clothes and he'd scoffed at her lack of respect for the dead. She'd either been really stupid or really really lazy and to him both sounded highly plausible. He'd watched her out of curiosity and his eyes followed her as she left. She was attractive, yes, but she looked barely legal not to mention he did not go after her type; she was beneath him in the food chain of society.

 

 

So as she faded from his vision he was already beginning the process of erasing her from his mind. It wasn't like he was ever going to see her again and she wasn't the kind he would associate with. She wasn't what was important, his father was and with that final though he returned his attention to his half brother and the funeral director. He didn't want to spend anymore of his time discussing his father's eventual demise, it wasn't on the top ten things on his to do list.

 

 

The weather grew slightly colder after everything was arranged and he pulled his coat tighter around his body heading for the nondescript black sedan that his half brother loved to drive around. His mood was fleeing along with the day and he wished to get back to his home to finally be alone to do the work that still needed to be done. Just because his father's health was steadily going down the toilet didn't mean that he could ever dream to allow his work to do the same, he had too much pride to let himself fall like that.

 

 

The normally semi-empty road was packed bumper to bumper and he watched the slow rolling of more nondescript black vehicles in front of them, it looked like the deceased's home from the funeral he observed was somewhere close. All those people gathered into a home, like swarming locusts, it disgusted him, it was too many people touching someone else's belongings, raping it with their grubby touch and defiling a sanctuary that had belonged to someone. He wasn't sentimental, but he didn't want to think about being in anyone else's shoes, he couldn't bear to think about all kinds of strangers in his home touching his things if he had kicked the bucket.

 

 

When the vehicle he was in slowed down practically to a stop he rolled his eyes ignoring whatever it was his brother had to say, all he wanted was to get home without any pathetic excuses. Instead he lazily rolled down the window allowing the stale warm air to escape and allow the slightly colder and fresher air to seep in. There was no doubt he would be stuck sitting there for a while and he allowed his eyes to glide over the not so pleasant scenery.

 

 

It wasn't the best of neighborhoods, he could plainly see as much by just looking at the slightly dilapidated and old buildings. Parked vehicles crowded the sidewalk and people walked almost in a single file line to one building in particular and his curiosity rose seeing long black hair, a tight t-shirt and a pair of ripped blue jeans.

 

 

He hadn't expected to see her again so quickly, but by the expressions on her face she wasn't one of those crying mourners. The fact that she held a guitar like it was her last lifeline was enough to draw his complete attention and when she stormed off he found his eyes following her. She was attractive, oddly more so with the angry glare in her eyes and he suddenly didn't want to forget her.

 

 

That wasn't like him though and he softly shook his head rolling up the window. He wasn't the kind of guy who focused his attention on a more than likely poor child, he wasn't the type of guy who was attracted to women with only a fleeting glance and alien thoughts. She wasn't worth remembering so he tried evicting her from his brain, narrowing his eyes irritably that he was still even thinking of this ordinary girl.

 

 

“Hey Sesshomaru?” he could hear his brother calling his name and when a hand touched his shoulder he switched his vision to his half brother. “Sesshomaru?”

 

 

“What?” Sesshomaru wanted to be by himself to forget because remembering was pointless and besides, he was a busy man.

 

 

“Are you okay?” His brother was a pain and he was glad that the boy's visits weren't often. “You kinda zoned out on me here.”

 

 

“I'm fine InuYasha,” Sesshomaru said indifferently closing his eyes and shrugging off his younger brother's hand from his shoulder. “Just drive back to my Condo so I can get back to work.”

 

 

Normally InuYasha was the kind of person who would argue just for the sake of an argument, but this time however; he did as he was instructed. The silence calmed Sesshomaru, gave his mind the time it needed to focus and before too long he was tucked away from civilization in the comforts of his luxurious condominium. Stacks of unfiled paperwork covered his desk and he wasted absolutely no time digging into the mess.

 

 

The paperwork, as endless as it seemed, kept him in tune with the person he'd always been and it wasn't until hours later that he was able to surface for a break from reading barely legible notes and scribbles and the neat text printed ten times too small for a normal person to read. He made a living off doing it, a damn good living if he had any say so, and he wasn't willing to change careers even if he did have blinding headaches after an all-nighter or two.

 

 

And though normally he didn't mind the relentless and almost mindless work, this time it was harder to keep himself one hundred percent focused on work and work alone. A pot of coffee sat on the counter slowly growing colder and he ignored it. He knew that if he made another pot he'd work himself through most of the night and work wasn't something he wanted to do at the moment. It would be there later and he was never in a rush to finish anything, so he decided it could wait.

 

 

He could have sat back and relaxed until he got bored or he could have done something remotely productive, but instead Sesshomaru found himself leaving his home in favor of a long walk. It sounded like a good idea to clear his mind and get himself into the groove of things, it would help him with the restlessness he was trying to fight down.

 

 

The streets weren't crowded and yet they weren't empty either and Sesshomaru couldn't help but wish he had lived out in the country. In the country there were less people roaming around, hell, less curious people in general and that sounded absolutely wonderful. Endless, undeveloped land with no irritants, no disgusting bodies of drones—it sounded like heaven on Earth.

 

 

He'd have to look into it, he told himself. It wasn't like he couldn't take his work out to the countryside; besides, the more time he took to think about it, the better it began to sound. Then again, Sesshomaru reminded himself, it would all have to wait until everything having to do with his father was taken care of, including his death.

 

 

That bitter little thought was a dream crusher through and through and Sesshomaru signed coming to a stop. He didn't want to think of death and funerals, not because they were sad, but because it immediately made him think of that girl with the guitar; the same girl at the cemetery earlier. It was obvious that she'd lost someone, probably someone important and it made him wonder who it was.

 

 

Was it a family member or a friend? Did she get along with them or was it one of those love to hate relationships? Sesshomaru suddenly wanted to know about this stranger for no “apparent” reason and it bugged him. Why was he thinking of her, it wasn't like he knew her and on any other given day he wouldn't have looked twice at someone like her, but why was he so interested this time?

 

 

The sounds of rushing water stole him from his thoughts; he was at the park a few blocks from his condo and Sesshomaru sighed yet again. He'd only been there a few times in passing and each time the object that grabbed his attention was the monstrous fountain smack dab in the middle of it. He scoffed at the thought of being drawn to it, but when he glanced up his heart skipped a beat, or two.

 

 

The girl—she sat on the sidewalk as though she was some homeless street urchin, her tight t-shirt, a pair of blue jeans, and her guitar. At first he thought he was seeing things, but after a moment he knew that she was for real. Three times, Sesshomaru had come across her on three completely separate occasions in the very same day and he didn't think it was merely a coincidence.

 

 

The only reasonable answer was that she'd been following him like some bad private investigator, though he immediately dismissed it as he came closer. He'd seen many actors and actresses in his day, none of which could pull off the empty gaze the way she did. Just her expression alone made gooseflesh crawl up his spine. She looked gone to the world and anyone else who noticed her would have thought her to be dead if her eyelashes hadn't fluttered a few times, her large brown eyes tearing up yet the moisture from them never fell.

 

 

He stood there watching her for so long that when his cell phone started vibrating in his pocket it was already growing dark. It was unusual for him to be so interested, but he blamed it on his father's failing health. If the man wasn't slowly deteriorating and demanding for the preparations for his death to be done then Sesshomaru would have never come across the her and then he would have been no different from his normal self.

 

 

It was easier to blame someone else than come to terms with his curiosity and despite saying he wouldn't, Sesshomaru found himself at the park the next day looking for a glimpse of her. He wasn't expecting to see her again, but much to his surprise she was already there in front of the fountain, her guitar in hand. Not once did she look up at him like a normal person would and it made him wonder if she even realized that he was there.

 

 

Sesshomaru wasn't man enough to admit to it, but it was becoming apart of his daily routine to walk the few blocks to the park to see her and silently watch her until the feel of his cell phone vibrating dragged him away. He noticed little things about her like the way the dark circles around her eyes made her look like death and those days she sat like a forgotten statue. On those days she always seemed to be wearing a bigger, probably male's band t-shirt, maybe her husbands, judging by the ring on her left hand.

 

 

Other days she looked worn and sleep deprived, though those days were the days where her fingers slid across the guitar strings, following a tune in her head. He was drawn to her on those days, but he felt almost completely breathless on the days she looked her worst.

 

 

Not once did she ever look up at anyone, but one more than a few occasions he felt her piercing gaze on his feet. It was disturbing to a point to say the least, he'd show up and she looked so lost in herself and then as though a light was switched on, her gaze found their way to his shoes and unreadable emotions fluttered across her eyes. What was she thinking about?

 

 

It was an innocent question and after his half brother InuYasha accidently stumbled onto Sesshomaru's routine, he made a comment that struck chord on something in Sesshomaru. “Maybe you're so curious and wound up on what she's thinking about because subconsciously you want her to notice and think about you.”

 

 

Sesshomaru would have denied it with InuYasha until they both were blue in the face and he'd been going to if he hadn't gotten the call that brought his entire life to a screeching halt. Their father had passed away the night before and though he'd been prepared for it, Sesshomaru wasn't ready to face the idea of his father really being gone. Almost immediately he was thrown into work, making appointments, setting dates and the grueling task of getting a hold of all of his father's friends and acquaintances.

 

 

Sesshomaru was so busy that he barely had time to breathe, let alone think about her and it wasn't until the day of his father's funeral that she crept into the back of his mind. It had been funny, the reason behind the sudden thought, it was a song he heard on the radio on his way home; it was oddly familiar and at first he couldn't place it. Then out of the blue he thought of her and when he came home, he immediately grabbed an umbrella and headed back out.

 

 

It had been raining all morning that day, practically a drizzle, but he wasn't going to risk getting sick. People would try blaming it on his father's death and that simply wasn't the case. Sesshomaru walked quickly to the park and though he doubted she'd be there, he silently hoped that she was.

 

 

He heard the melody as he approached, it was the same one he had heard earlier and he realized why he hadn't recognized it before. The song was upbeat, but the way she played it, it sounded almost heartbreaking. She looked horrible, her entire body soaked through and she appeared so much thinner than he remembered. What happened to her while he was gone, he wondered. Such a drastic change in a short amount of time and Sesshomaru felt the nervousness building in his stomach.

 

 

She looked like the dead and Sesshomaru wouldn't have know she was saying anything if he hadn't noticed her lips moving. Her voice was scratchy and a little raspy, but he noticed the slur to her words the most as she softly sang the words to the song. The dark circles were darker and her skin was a pasty white, but she seemed not to notice him.

 

 

An emotion blanketed over Sesshomaru as he stared at her, he couldn't tell if it was the rain or if she was really crying and it bugged him, but when the music stopped and she kept on singing he knew something was wrong. It wasn't the guitar going quiet that set off the alarms in his head, but the way her body suddenly slumped back, the instrument slipping from her grasp and clattering to the ground.

 

 

His umbrella fell from his hand as he went to her, his hands running over her cold flesh checking for a pulse. Finding one, Sesshomaru shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around her, her head lolling lifelessly to the side as he pulled her into his arms, her sad song dying on her lips.

 

 

He could feel the panic rising in his stomach as he flagged down a cab, ordering the man to `haul ass' to the nearest hospital. Sesshomaru didn't know her and yet he was silently worried for the ridiculously light girl cradled in his arms. The ride to the hospital felt like it took forever, but eventually he made it and in a matter of moments she was gone from his protective hold.

 

 

That had been a long three weeks ago and Sesshomaru checked up on her as much as the nurses at the hospital would let him. She was just some Jane Doe to them; however, to him she felt like something more than just another nameless girl. The nurses called him when she came around, yet they hadn't been successful in retrieving her name, or how she let herself get so far gone and Sesshomaru wasted no time driving to the hospital. He needed to see her to personally make sure that she was okay.

 

 

Once again he found himself hurrying to her, his long stride shortening the distance to her hospital room. The day nurse had already been in to check on her so anther check up wasn't due for an hour or so. Sesshomaru opened the hospital room door and immediately spotted her standing in front of the only window, her left hand clutching the I V stand, the small rock on her finger glittering from the sunlight.

 

 

For a moment Sesshomaru was completely speechless as she glanced over shoulder to see him, her long onyx hair flowing down her back and her brown eyes staring at him like he was a stranger. And though he didn't want to admit it, that's exactly what he was, a stranger. “The doctor's need tog et your name so they can notify your husband that you're okay.”

 

 

Sesshomaru had seen the ring on her finger before and he was taking a stab in the dark assuming she was married. He had been expecting her to give up her name like a normal person would, but when she glanced at the ring and instead of a soft smile like he had thought she graced him with a bitter laugh and he was immediately taken back. “Good luck getting a hold of my fiancée, he's dead.”

 

 

“Is that why you were at the park for so long?” Never in his life would he have asked, but it had come out of his mouth before he could stop it and he blamed it on the way she looked at him. Instantly her eyes darted to his shoes and he fought back a grin, opting for his usual emotionless mask.

 

 

“Italian loafers,” she whispered more to herself and she sighed heavily closing her eyes. “I didn't know what else to do. I-I'm not good with that kinda stuff… I—I mean he wasn't supposed to die on me. He promised he wouldn't…”

 

 

He could hear the anger and the hurt in her quivering voice, her free handing coming up to rub her forehead and he didn't have to ask “how” because when she glanced back up they both knew that he wanted to know.

 

 

“We were supposed to meet and celebrate my birthday,” she told him. “Kohaku wanted to do it and I was running late like always. I mean it was okay because he knew I'd be late, he joked about it on the phone when we last spoke.”

 

 

Sesshomaru forced his feet to stay where they were so as not to disrupt her story, but really it was to keep himself from going to her like some emotional fool. “I saw him when I go off the bus and he waved to me. Th—then he was in the middle of the street, someone pushed him on accident and he just froze. K-Kohaku just stood there and I couldn't get him in time… He just stood there and let that kid in the pick up hit him… He just stood there—“

 

 

She choked on the words, her teeth biting down on her lip struggling to force it back and this time Sesshomaru didn't hold himself back. Instead he stood next to her and put his hand on her shoulder watching her tremble like she was going to crumble. To Sesshomaru she was as fragile as glass and he wanted to keep her together.

 

 

The feel of her arms wrapping around his waist was a surprise, the feel of her face pressing tightly against his chest had jolts of electricity surging through his entire body. He stood there awkwardly for a moment trying to decide what to do and in the end he enclosed her in a light embrace, shielding her away from the world as she cried.

 

 

He wanted to protect her and he tried to think of a way to do so without looking like some deranged stalker. He was interested in her, curious and he wanted to see where it would lead him. “It's not your fault.”

 

 

Why he was suddenly speaking without thinking first was beyond him, but he wanted to save her the way she thought she should have saved her fiancée. The only difference this time would be that Sesshomaru could do it and he would if she'd let him.

 

 

-Fin-

 

 

E/N: So that story was maybe a little OOC, but I really loved it, kind of weird though if you actually listen to the song because I don't know how something as depressing as this came from that upbeat song. Maybe I really was neglected as a child or something. LOL!

 

 

Well I'm already thinking of a spin off of this story, a short on Rin/Sesshomaru's relationship afterward. Already have the basic outline thanks to the band “Closed Heart Surgery” and the songs I was listening to while typing the last part up. HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!!

 

 

And as always because I'm selfish, please leave a review! THANKS