InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A First Time For Everything ❯ "Face Up" ( Chapter 15 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: MIztikal_Dragon 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.11.2010 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.0K | Visits: 342 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.11.2010 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.0K | Visits: 342 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: Don't own nothing... thanks,
This is something I was thinking about at work today, and I even got obsessed enough to dream about it during my surprise nap. lol I've tossed the idea around for the last couple of years, but it never came out right...
ENJOY!
“Face Up”--Lights
She had felt the tremors before it had hit, the unstable shaking of her fingers as she unloaded the groceries into the fridge, stocking the cabinets and she had tried fighting against the emptiness at the back of her mind. It had been creeping up on her more as of lately, stealing what strength she had left and it worried her. The doctors had told her not to push herself, not to lift anything heavier than ten pounds and though she knew she should have followed their orders, she couldn’t.
It was funny, but then again, not very and it had happened faster than she anticipated. The baby had been crying, loud and needy and all that was needed was for things to be put in their places and she would have been preparing lunch for everyone. She had reached for the formula, her hand around the container when she was struck. Violent tremors wracked her body and pain ripped through her and then she was falling and sense was thrown out the window.
Now she couldn’t hear the screams, of the baby or of her companion, the older woman kneeling over her body, muscles seizing and limbs thrashing. The woman’s hands trying to hold her down and it was like she was in a dream world. She felt like she was in one of those Hollywood movies, she was watching her life through a television set or movie screen, staring helplessly at her body and knowing that she shouldn’t be watching herself like some third party rubber-necker.
“Rin,” the voice called to her from behind, but she could only stare down at her body as it grew still, her companion’s hands quick to search for a pulse the two of them already knew wasn’t there.
“I didn’t think it would come so soon.” Rin replied softly. “Poor Kagome.”
“You knew this would happen,” a large hand rested itself on her shoulder and Rin smiled sadly to herself as Kagome began administering CPR.
“I know,” Rin kneeled by her body, her long fingers tracing the midnight strands. “But selfishly I wanted more than two years… I greedily was hoping for an entire lifetime. Everything was beginning to get on track, it was all coming together for me…”
“Rin,” she glanced behind her to the tall man standing there, his long silver hair dancing in the non-existent wind. His amber eyes held sorrow but determination and his gaze bubbled the hysterics she was feeling in her stomach.
“I’d finally convinced him to marry me,” She told him shrugging nonchalantly as the woman in front of them struggled to keep her breathing. “He finally said yes and now you’re taking me away from him.”
She could feel the tears clawing at her, the moisture in her eyes desperately trying to break free and she wished she could cry. Rin wanted to scream and deny that she was dying, that this was all some kind of nightmare she’d made up but it wasn’t. She had been living on borrowed time from the start, time that belonged to the man behind her and she felt bad for taking it from him at the start; however, he had offered it so she could have love. It was all apart of the deal she had made and now it was tumbling down all around her.
“I’m sorry,” she knew he really meant it to, but she couldn’t ask him to keep bearing the weight of keeping her alive, at least not for how long she wanted him to.
“Please,” she whispered brokenly staring down at her hands, at her unmoving body inches away from her. “Please… Don’t take me from this life yet. I know you can’t grant me days or weeks, but just let me get through the rest of the day. I’m not asking this for him, but for my child. The both of us know that once I die he will no longer be bound and I need to make sure my daughter will be taken care of.”
“I can’t,” he was closer now and she felt the bitterness creeping into her chest. It wasn’t his fault, she reminded herself. All he had done was make it possible for the bundle of joy screaming in the living room from the car seat on the floor.
“Please,” she wasn’t above begging. “We both know he won’t stay for her. I know it’s selfish, but I’m sure he’s already felt it and is heading home now. Kagome will take care of her. I need to do this, please. I won’t be able to stay if something happens. Just a couple of hours that’s all I’m asking for. Just enough to let go.”
“I can only give you three-maybe four at the most,” those precious hours would put them into dangerous territory with no guarantees, nonetheless, she knew he would help her if he could.
“Thank you,” there was a burning sensation in her lungs, a pain in her chest as she felt herself fading. Sparing a glance at the man behind her she gave him a watery smile, it would be okay. “You know she misses you something terrible.”
“I don’t know,”
“It’s true,” Rin stood and enveloped him in a light hug. “You’ll be a good father, trust me. Kagome still loves you and I’m sorry for taking your life with her away so I could be selfish. It means so much more to me than you’ll ever know. I’m grateful to have known you InuYasha.”
He gave her a lopsided cocky grin and pain washed over her as she gasped greedily for air. Her vision blurred and she blinked several times and nails dug into her arms, her name falling from Kagome’s mouth in a high pitch shriek. Her chest hurt, though not from physical pain and it took her a few moments before she was able to wrangle herself into sitting up. Her body was protesting almost violently and she fought against the urge to lay down because she knew the next time her eyes closed would be the end of everything.
“I’m calling 9-1-1!” Kagome’s hands fluttered over her and Rin quickly batted them away as if she were scolding a young child. “You stopped breathing!”
“I’m fine,” she grumbled climbing onto her feet. She only had three hours and she needed to finish things before it was too late. “This happens all the time.”
“You stopped breathing Rin!” Brown eyes were watching her with a hawk’s gaze, unbelieving and scared. “I highly doubt that happens all the time!”
“It’s fine,” Rin snapped coldly glaring at Kagome and threatening her silently to keep going. “I need you to sign those guardianship papers today and get them filed before the courts close for the day.”
“But Rin--”
“No!” She growled harshly as she moved herself slowly to the living room and sat next to the wailing child, her trembling hands touching the cool skin and instantly the newborn quieted. “We’ve talked about this before and it’s been decided already that you’re the one I want caring for Risa if something should happen to me. I don’t have any living family and trust me when I say this, when I die she will have no one.”
Light hazel eyes watched her with an understanding beyond years and regret filled her. Rin hadn’t known that she would be forced to abandon her life like this, if she had then she would have made certain that she couldn’t have gotten pregnant. It probably would have extended her life by maybe months, or a year if she added it up, but in the end she wouldn’t have changed a thing. Now she would have a key to the world she was leaving, and though there was no option of her ever returning, it didn’t mean that it was the end. It was the funny thing about half-breeds, they transcended all the barriers of life.
“You’re going to be fine,” Kagome pleaded with her eyes and Rin didn’t have the strength to try and appease the woman in front of her. “I can’t do this alone.”
“It’s going to be okay Kagome,” Rin smiled as she watched her daughter close those knowing eyes and drift off into a light slumber. “Please, file the paperwork--if only for just in case. It’ll make me feel better. Humor me.”
“Okay,” she didn’t sound convinced, but Rin wasn’t trying to be an actor, not with the time quickly dissipating. “But I’ll be back first thing tomorrow for Risa, I promised Souta he’d get to see her so you can celebrate without interruption.”
That made Rin chuckle as Kagome gathered up her purse almost hesitantly. It was in her right to be suspicious, but those thoughts were thrown when the front door shot open and bounced against the wall, followed by long silver hair and amber eyes whirling in like a tornado.
“Rin,” he stood over them and she offered him a small smile as he ran his hands over her either searching for imaginary wounds or verifying if she were really there and not some illusion.
“Do you think I can convince you to take Risa tonight?” Large hands were pulling her to her feet and into his broad chest, she could hear his heart thundering in his chest and refused to allow herself to get worked up. “I’ll owe you big time.”
“Are you sure?”
“Please,” Rin had never been one to ask for much, but it was apparently her word of the day.
Kagome nodded silently before grabbing the large diaper bag from the couch and taking the handle of the car seat into her free hand. Rin felt the tugging of her heart strings as she watched her friend gather up the child and head toward the door. This would be the last time she saw her daughter and a small part of her wanted to horde it away when she knew it was unwise.
“Kagome,” Rin called out as she headed out the front door. She didn’t want to spoil the surprise, but she wanted to let Kagome know that help was on the way, even if she wasn’t ready for it. “He’ll be back sooner than you know it and you’ll have the family you were denied. It’ll all work out, I promise.”
That earned her a confused and scared look, but Kagome smiled sheepishly and Rin wondered if Kagome really understood the meaning behind it. They all knew that InuYasha would not be gone forever, all it would cost was Rin and when the door closed she felt the numbness wash over her.
“How much time is left?” His voice stole her from her thoughts and she felt the tears burn her eyes as she tried to keep them down.
“Sessh--”
“How much?” His tone was his no nonsense and a sob bubbled in the back of her throat. “Rin…”
Glancing up at the clock on the wall she sighed tiredly, “An hour, maybe two…”
His arms encircled her again, pulling her close and she clung to him as if he were her last lifeline. In all honesty she did not want to die, not this way, not this soon and though she couldn’t stop the hurt it would bring, she couldn’t stop it from coming. Sesshomaru was not a tender gentle creature, yet he held her as if she were made of glass and she could keep the few tears that slipped from her eyes at bay as his lips brushed against hers.
“Will you lay with me until I go?” She asked softly, his long silver hair tickling her nose as he pulled away.
He wouldn’t give her a smile, real or pretend, not that he had really given her one during better moments and she still felt the love she had for him fill her as he cocked his head to the side and pulled her into his arms to carry her. It wasn’t scary, knowing that her time was bleeding away, that soon she would be swallowed up into the nothingness and her life extinguished, it was a little depressing, but not scary. She was prepared to die.
“Why didn’t you tell me it was so soon?” He asked as he laid Rin down on their large bed, the mattress dipping under their weight as he got comfortable.
“I didn’t want you to try and find a way to keep me longer.” She told him as her arms wrapped around his waist, her head pillowed on his chest.
“Rin,”
“Sesshomaru stop,” she pinched his back in warning as she felt herself really relax for the first time since after holding Risa for the first time. “InuYasha has a life here, I can’t ask him to wait until I’m ready to give back his life to him. He misses Kagome and neither of them deserve to be lonely. I’ve asked him to give up so much and it’s really okay. I got to have two years and that’s plenty of time.”
“No it’s not,” he argued, his fingers running through her long strands of onyx. “You’re not even twenty-two.”
“It’s enough for me to go happily,” she hugged him closer to her feeling herself loosing the comfort of touch, it wouldn’t be long now. “I only wanted you and now I was given Risa… InuYasha’ll take care of her until she’s strong enough to be able to cross over for a visit maybe? I’m selfish Sesshomaru, I’d rather give up my humanity than spend a lifetime without knowing you.”
“Rin,”
“Hush,R 21; his lips pressed against her forehead and her eyes were harder to keep open. “Just hold me.”
“I love you,”
She hated this feeling, the pressure and the spectator third party she’d become in a matter of seconds. She hated watching Sesshomaru hold her lifeless body as if she were merely sleeping and know that she couldn’t reach out and touch him now. It wasn’t fair and the tears slipped down her face without ever planning to stop. Silence surrounded her, comforted her and tortured her, it was killing her to stay.
“He’s going to kill me isn’t he?” InuYasha’s voice floated in her head and she laughed lightly wiping the falling moisture from her cheeks.
“No,” she told him sincerely as she forced herself to look away from Sesshomaru and her old life. She didn’t want to procrastinate her way into regret and pipe dreams, it really was over this time and she had accepted it. “He’s more upset with me because I didn’t give him a chance to fight. He’s not the type to be helpless, not like this.”
“You’ll be waiting a few days before he’ll be able to get back here,” InuYasha’s hand found hers and led her away from the heartache and her love. “Maybe less, but you’ll see him again sooner than you think and this time it’ll be permanent.”
“Just promise me you’ll take care of my baby,” Rin felt InuYasha’s hand squeeze hers and it gave her hope for better days, even if they were not for her. “Just make sure she knows that she’s loved… and I’m sorry.”
“I will,” Rin was surrounded in warmth, the bright sun kissing her skin and she hardly noticed the hand she held fading until she was completely alone. She knew it wouldn’t be a long wait, but she reminded herself that there were no regrets. She’d been allowed to have love, it might not have been long, not to anyone’s standards, but it was enough and now it would last forever.
It was funny that she had fallen in love with death, the creature known for pain and suffering and sorrow, but she had and he had given her love in return, if only for a price. This wasn’t an end, but a beginning and she was ready for it.
This is something I was thinking about at work today, and I even got obsessed enough to dream about it during my surprise nap. lol I've tossed the idea around for the last couple of years, but it never came out right...
ENJOY!
“Face Up”--Lights
She had felt the tremors before it had hit, the unstable shaking of her fingers as she unloaded the groceries into the fridge, stocking the cabinets and she had tried fighting against the emptiness at the back of her mind. It had been creeping up on her more as of lately, stealing what strength she had left and it worried her. The doctors had told her not to push herself, not to lift anything heavier than ten pounds and though she knew she should have followed their orders, she couldn’t.
It was funny, but then again, not very and it had happened faster than she anticipated. The baby had been crying, loud and needy and all that was needed was for things to be put in their places and she would have been preparing lunch for everyone. She had reached for the formula, her hand around the container when she was struck. Violent tremors wracked her body and pain ripped through her and then she was falling and sense was thrown out the window.
Now she couldn’t hear the screams, of the baby or of her companion, the older woman kneeling over her body, muscles seizing and limbs thrashing. The woman’s hands trying to hold her down and it was like she was in a dream world. She felt like she was in one of those Hollywood movies, she was watching her life through a television set or movie screen, staring helplessly at her body and knowing that she shouldn’t be watching herself like some third party rubber-necker.
“Rin,” the voice called to her from behind, but she could only stare down at her body as it grew still, her companion’s hands quick to search for a pulse the two of them already knew wasn’t there.
“I didn’t think it would come so soon.” Rin replied softly. “Poor Kagome.”
“You knew this would happen,” a large hand rested itself on her shoulder and Rin smiled sadly to herself as Kagome began administering CPR.
“I know,” Rin kneeled by her body, her long fingers tracing the midnight strands. “But selfishly I wanted more than two years… I greedily was hoping for an entire lifetime. Everything was beginning to get on track, it was all coming together for me…”
“Rin,” she glanced behind her to the tall man standing there, his long silver hair dancing in the non-existent wind. His amber eyes held sorrow but determination and his gaze bubbled the hysterics she was feeling in her stomach.
“I’d finally convinced him to marry me,” She told him shrugging nonchalantly as the woman in front of them struggled to keep her breathing. “He finally said yes and now you’re taking me away from him.”
She could feel the tears clawing at her, the moisture in her eyes desperately trying to break free and she wished she could cry. Rin wanted to scream and deny that she was dying, that this was all some kind of nightmare she’d made up but it wasn’t. She had been living on borrowed time from the start, time that belonged to the man behind her and she felt bad for taking it from him at the start; however, he had offered it so she could have love. It was all apart of the deal she had made and now it was tumbling down all around her.
“I’m sorry,” she knew he really meant it to, but she couldn’t ask him to keep bearing the weight of keeping her alive, at least not for how long she wanted him to.
“Please,” she whispered brokenly staring down at her hands, at her unmoving body inches away from her. “Please… Don’t take me from this life yet. I know you can’t grant me days or weeks, but just let me get through the rest of the day. I’m not asking this for him, but for my child. The both of us know that once I die he will no longer be bound and I need to make sure my daughter will be taken care of.”
“I can’t,” he was closer now and she felt the bitterness creeping into her chest. It wasn’t his fault, she reminded herself. All he had done was make it possible for the bundle of joy screaming in the living room from the car seat on the floor.
“Please,” she wasn’t above begging. “We both know he won’t stay for her. I know it’s selfish, but I’m sure he’s already felt it and is heading home now. Kagome will take care of her. I need to do this, please. I won’t be able to stay if something happens. Just a couple of hours that’s all I’m asking for. Just enough to let go.”
“I can only give you three-maybe four at the most,” those precious hours would put them into dangerous territory with no guarantees, nonetheless, she knew he would help her if he could.
“Thank you,” there was a burning sensation in her lungs, a pain in her chest as she felt herself fading. Sparing a glance at the man behind her she gave him a watery smile, it would be okay. “You know she misses you something terrible.”
“I don’t know,”
“It’s true,” Rin stood and enveloped him in a light hug. “You’ll be a good father, trust me. Kagome still loves you and I’m sorry for taking your life with her away so I could be selfish. It means so much more to me than you’ll ever know. I’m grateful to have known you InuYasha.”
He gave her a lopsided cocky grin and pain washed over her as she gasped greedily for air. Her vision blurred and she blinked several times and nails dug into her arms, her name falling from Kagome’s mouth in a high pitch shriek. Her chest hurt, though not from physical pain and it took her a few moments before she was able to wrangle herself into sitting up. Her body was protesting almost violently and she fought against the urge to lay down because she knew the next time her eyes closed would be the end of everything.
“I’m calling 9-1-1!” Kagome’s hands fluttered over her and Rin quickly batted them away as if she were scolding a young child. “You stopped breathing!”
“I’m fine,” she grumbled climbing onto her feet. She only had three hours and she needed to finish things before it was too late. “This happens all the time.”
“You stopped breathing Rin!” Brown eyes were watching her with a hawk’s gaze, unbelieving and scared. “I highly doubt that happens all the time!”
“It’s fine,” Rin snapped coldly glaring at Kagome and threatening her silently to keep going. “I need you to sign those guardianship papers today and get them filed before the courts close for the day.”
“But Rin--”
“No!” She growled harshly as she moved herself slowly to the living room and sat next to the wailing child, her trembling hands touching the cool skin and instantly the newborn quieted. “We’ve talked about this before and it’s been decided already that you’re the one I want caring for Risa if something should happen to me. I don’t have any living family and trust me when I say this, when I die she will have no one.”
Light hazel eyes watched her with an understanding beyond years and regret filled her. Rin hadn’t known that she would be forced to abandon her life like this, if she had then she would have made certain that she couldn’t have gotten pregnant. It probably would have extended her life by maybe months, or a year if she added it up, but in the end she wouldn’t have changed a thing. Now she would have a key to the world she was leaving, and though there was no option of her ever returning, it didn’t mean that it was the end. It was the funny thing about half-breeds, they transcended all the barriers of life.
“You’re going to be fine,” Kagome pleaded with her eyes and Rin didn’t have the strength to try and appease the woman in front of her. “I can’t do this alone.”
“It’s going to be okay Kagome,” Rin smiled as she watched her daughter close those knowing eyes and drift off into a light slumber. “Please, file the paperwork--if only for just in case. It’ll make me feel better. Humor me.”
“Okay,” she didn’t sound convinced, but Rin wasn’t trying to be an actor, not with the time quickly dissipating. “But I’ll be back first thing tomorrow for Risa, I promised Souta he’d get to see her so you can celebrate without interruption.”
That made Rin chuckle as Kagome gathered up her purse almost hesitantly. It was in her right to be suspicious, but those thoughts were thrown when the front door shot open and bounced against the wall, followed by long silver hair and amber eyes whirling in like a tornado.
“Rin,” he stood over them and she offered him a small smile as he ran his hands over her either searching for imaginary wounds or verifying if she were really there and not some illusion.
“Do you think I can convince you to take Risa tonight?” Large hands were pulling her to her feet and into his broad chest, she could hear his heart thundering in his chest and refused to allow herself to get worked up. “I’ll owe you big time.”
“Are you sure?”
“Please,” Rin had never been one to ask for much, but it was apparently her word of the day.
Kagome nodded silently before grabbing the large diaper bag from the couch and taking the handle of the car seat into her free hand. Rin felt the tugging of her heart strings as she watched her friend gather up the child and head toward the door. This would be the last time she saw her daughter and a small part of her wanted to horde it away when she knew it was unwise.
“Kagome,” Rin called out as she headed out the front door. She didn’t want to spoil the surprise, but she wanted to let Kagome know that help was on the way, even if she wasn’t ready for it. “He’ll be back sooner than you know it and you’ll have the family you were denied. It’ll all work out, I promise.”
That earned her a confused and scared look, but Kagome smiled sheepishly and Rin wondered if Kagome really understood the meaning behind it. They all knew that InuYasha would not be gone forever, all it would cost was Rin and when the door closed she felt the numbness wash over her.
“How much time is left?” His voice stole her from her thoughts and she felt the tears burn her eyes as she tried to keep them down.
“Sessh--”
“How much?” His tone was his no nonsense and a sob bubbled in the back of her throat. “Rin…”
Glancing up at the clock on the wall she sighed tiredly, “An hour, maybe two…”
His arms encircled her again, pulling her close and she clung to him as if he were her last lifeline. In all honesty she did not want to die, not this way, not this soon and though she couldn’t stop the hurt it would bring, she couldn’t stop it from coming. Sesshomaru was not a tender gentle creature, yet he held her as if she were made of glass and she could keep the few tears that slipped from her eyes at bay as his lips brushed against hers.
“Will you lay with me until I go?” She asked softly, his long silver hair tickling her nose as he pulled away.
He wouldn’t give her a smile, real or pretend, not that he had really given her one during better moments and she still felt the love she had for him fill her as he cocked his head to the side and pulled her into his arms to carry her. It wasn’t scary, knowing that her time was bleeding away, that soon she would be swallowed up into the nothingness and her life extinguished, it was a little depressing, but not scary. She was prepared to die.
“Why didn’t you tell me it was so soon?” He asked as he laid Rin down on their large bed, the mattress dipping under their weight as he got comfortable.
“I didn’t want you to try and find a way to keep me longer.” She told him as her arms wrapped around his waist, her head pillowed on his chest.
“Rin,”
“Sesshomaru stop,” she pinched his back in warning as she felt herself really relax for the first time since after holding Risa for the first time. “InuYasha has a life here, I can’t ask him to wait until I’m ready to give back his life to him. He misses Kagome and neither of them deserve to be lonely. I’ve asked him to give up so much and it’s really okay. I got to have two years and that’s plenty of time.”
“No it’s not,” he argued, his fingers running through her long strands of onyx. “You’re not even twenty-two.”
“It’s enough for me to go happily,” she hugged him closer to her feeling herself loosing the comfort of touch, it wouldn’t be long now. “I only wanted you and now I was given Risa… InuYasha’ll take care of her until she’s strong enough to be able to cross over for a visit maybe? I’m selfish Sesshomaru, I’d rather give up my humanity than spend a lifetime without knowing you.”
“Rin,”
“Hush,R 21; his lips pressed against her forehead and her eyes were harder to keep open. “Just hold me.”
“I love you,”
She hated this feeling, the pressure and the spectator third party she’d become in a matter of seconds. She hated watching Sesshomaru hold her lifeless body as if she were merely sleeping and know that she couldn’t reach out and touch him now. It wasn’t fair and the tears slipped down her face without ever planning to stop. Silence surrounded her, comforted her and tortured her, it was killing her to stay.
“He’s going to kill me isn’t he?” InuYasha’s voice floated in her head and she laughed lightly wiping the falling moisture from her cheeks.
“No,” she told him sincerely as she forced herself to look away from Sesshomaru and her old life. She didn’t want to procrastinate her way into regret and pipe dreams, it really was over this time and she had accepted it. “He’s more upset with me because I didn’t give him a chance to fight. He’s not the type to be helpless, not like this.”
“You’ll be waiting a few days before he’ll be able to get back here,” InuYasha’s hand found hers and led her away from the heartache and her love. “Maybe less, but you’ll see him again sooner than you think and this time it’ll be permanent.”
“Just promise me you’ll take care of my baby,” Rin felt InuYasha’s hand squeeze hers and it gave her hope for better days, even if they were not for her. “Just make sure she knows that she’s loved… and I’m sorry.”
“I will,” Rin was surrounded in warmth, the bright sun kissing her skin and she hardly noticed the hand she held fading until she was completely alone. She knew it wouldn’t be a long wait, but she reminded herself that there were no regrets. She’d been allowed to have love, it might not have been long, not to anyone’s standards, but it was enough and now it would last forever.
It was funny that she had fallen in love with death, the creature known for pain and suffering and sorrow, but she had and he had given her love in return, if only for a price. This wasn’t an end, but a beginning and she was ready for it.