InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ a forgotten love and a forgotten child ❯ Bitter for Sweet ( Chapter 16 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Desclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters but i do own sweet little kaida.




A/N: excuse my uncapitalized i's. i should capitalize them but i dont. so yes..enjoy the chapie ^-^





chp.16- Bitter for Sweet





~~~~






S omething told her she had wondered off too far, a small voice in the back of her mind told her to go back. From the incident the other she still hand't learned the the forests of the feudal era were extremely dangerous. Though she held her red horse tightly, her eyes clenched back the unwanted tears. The horrible feeling in her stomach would not leave. Her feet kept on walking forward, something told her that the farther she kept going the closer she'd arrive home, she had doubt in her small judgement but ignored it and kept on going, it was far from darkness and the sun still rised up high. Though the large trees and plant filled floors kept its rays far away. There was a light at the end of the green tunnel and her walk began to fasten. Could home be at the end of the tunnel? Her eyes tingled with the sensation of tears as she tripped, her red horse went flying in the air, landing right infront of her. She stiffled and held back cries though the tears raced down her face. The memory, the thought it was unbearable.
How was it possible? How could it even be imaginable, just a few weeks days back he had rescued her from death. Time passed since then and everything went fine. Her smile returned and of course her lovely voice. She followed him around like a lost duckling, mimicking eveyrone of his moves, he'd smile and ruffle her bright silver hair. She looked forward, slowly placing her small hand on the red horse. Her voice cracked a bit, "mama..."


~~~~

Kagome sat at her desk, her head resting on her hand. How long had it been? Too long, she sighed setting her hands on a portrait of a small girl, her eyes closed, a bright smile on her face. She looked so happy. Though she felt like only a dream. Kagome set her pencil down and stood from her desk, she opened the door as her cat buyo clashed against her ankles. She gave the cat a soft smile, petting his fat belly and she went downstairs. Kagome walked through her home, a portait of the same child was in almost every room, with a candle next to it. Kagome walked out of her home, out into the large yard of the shrine. Her steps went unheard, the hustle and bustle of the city was far away. In her hands she held a bundle of roses, pure white. Along with the flowers were praying beads. The air outside felt warm but along with a cold chill, it was the end of summer and fall was approaching quickly. How long before the snow began to fall? How long before another lonely year passed? Her chocolate brown eyes glanced upward, infront of her was the sacred tree. The sacred tree which had been speacil to her for several years, a place where she always came for peace and tranquility, a tree that brought too many memories.

Kagome sat down the flowers, infront of a portrait, a portrait of a small child. A girl with luscious green eyes and bright silver hair. Her smile was bright as could be. Dressed in her school uniform. This picture sat on a small memorial, that had been built right infront the sacred tree. The small wooden memorial held candles, inscense and other valiables to remember the child. It had been a year to be exact. A year since kaida had gone missing. The time passed by so slowly, every days without her felt like weeks. The search had stopped and she had been given up for dead. it was hard to believe that the chold that brought so much happiness to the family was now gone. Nothing would ever be the same. No one in the Higurashi family would ever be the same. Kagome knelt down and began to pray, she prayed for her child. Wherever she was, though everyone said she was gone, kagome wanted to believe she was still around. Though others told her it was okay to let go, kagome refused. She wiped her tears away after her prayer was over, she kissed her fingers and gently set them on the portrait of the smiling girl named Kaida Higurashi.

A soft hand laid gently on her shoulder and kagome turned to see her mother. "Hey there kagome, how you feeling?"

Kagome put on a smile for her mother, "a bit better actualy...." she set her glance back to the portrait, "i just can't believe she's gone". Mrs. Higurashi knelt down next to her, "I know its hard kagome, its hard to believe she's gone. Though we have to be strong and learn to move on"

"It's just not the same without her mom...nothing and no one is" Mrs. Higurahi was taken back by kagome's reaction. "Grandpa just mopes around all day, he never shares his stories anymore. Sota quit the soccer team and you mom, i don't hear you sing anymore..."

"and you kagome, you have become distant" her mother finished the sentence, "you never have dinner with us anymore, you spend your time locked up in your room," she said, brushing the hair behind kagome's ear. "its true, kagome. Every words you say, we've all changed. That's what happens when we lose a loved one but you know what?".
Kagome raised her glance back to her mother. "we always get back up". they both looked at the picture of the small child. It was silent for a moment and only the leaves rustled on the floor. "i just can't..." kagome hesitated on her words a bit, "i just cant help but to think that its my fault...that she's gone"

Mrs. Higurashi gasped, "kagome don't say that!". "it's true!" she cried with tear filled eyes turning around to her mother. "if only i had gone back to check on her! Only if i hadn't gone out that night! She would still be here!" kagome collapsed in tears, Mrs. Higurashi held her close. "there, there kagome. non of us knew this was going to happen...don't blame yourself"

It was true, no one knew the small girl would go missing that night, no one knew it would be the last time they'd see her. It was horrible to think of it, no one wanted to imagen it. Though no one in the higurashi family was the same. Everything seemed to die once the child was gone, months in her abscence were unbearable. kagome felt lonely without her daughter, without the child she had held within her for nine months, the child she'd given birth to and raised with love. That small little girl with the smile that would brighten the day. That shy little girl who everyone saw as a stranger. The one everyone shunned because she was different. Kagome's heart ached at the thought, the memory.

The image stood there, the portrait of the smiling child.


~~~


She lay in bed, setting her hand on the spot where her beloved child slept. The room had an empty feeling now, she looked over to the calender. A deep feeling fell to the bottom of her stomach. "Tonight...tonight is the night...the night of the new moon..." she whispered, tears seeped down her cheeks. "my beloved kaida..."


She looked at her child, the strange little lump who sat on the middle of the floor, fingers stuck in her mouth like always. She held such an innocent face. She was gorgeous in so many ways.

Still so young and already a bushel of bright silver hair lay on her head. It reached onto her ears, luckly for kagome, the small baby girl had normal human ears instead of taking after her father, who had soft doggy ears plastered on top of his head. Though she did inherit his bright silver hair and boy did she have a lot of it. It seemed to be everywhere, all on top of her head, covering her ears and her bangs would cover her eyes. Though kagome would reach out and brush them out of the way.

She looked up at the young girl with bright green eyes, she looked up at her mother. Much curiosity in her eyes. Wondering what was to happen now. Her little legs kicked a bit from the excitement of seeing her mother.

The young girl set her brown eyes on the lumpy child, her skin so pale, so soft she barely seemed human, but of course she was not human. No, she was a Hanyou, a cross between a human and a demon. Kagome feared her child would be born to look too much like a demon, like something that wasn't real in her time, in the world she lived in. She didn't want her daughter to grow up a freak. To be different. She was afraid the child would be born with bright hair, dog ears and golden eyes. Luckly the small girl only had silver hair and no ears so she didn't have to live her life in a hat. Easily she could pass off as an Albino. That was belivable. She could lie and say the child's father's side of the family had Albino's running in the family tree. Sure people would believe that. Though her hair wasn't white, it was a bright silver. Close enough.

Slowy as the sun began to set, the child was no longer the same.

Her hair a dark pitch brown, her eyes brown and her skin fare. She seemed perfectly fine, she finally seemed human. she finally seemed normal. She didn't have silver bright hair anymore and her eyes were no longer green. She was finally human. But human for so long, she would only sustain this form throughout the night but when the sun arose up into the sky she would return to her old unusual self.

Her week body fell back to the floor as only human blood ran through her veins. She could no longer lift her wobbly body up and she was more helpess than ever. She didn't have the small the demon blood gave her now that she was all human.

Kagome ran to her picking her up in her arms. she gave her baby a soft smile kissing her chubby cheek, "you're beautiful no matter what...kaida.."
The little girl giggled, her smile spread from eye to eye.



Kagome closed her eyes. This was the night of the new moon, it was the most important and dreded day of a hanyou's life. She remembered long ago, long ago when things seemed just right. There he was sitting outside in the dark, his face held an irritated expression. He seemed defeated and frustrated though his hair was no longer silver, his eyes were no longer a honey golden. His claws and fangs had dissapeared. He was no longer a hanyou but a meer human being.

Kagome's eyes opened back up, she starred at the black ceiling above her, her child. Her dear kaida. Her portrait sat on her desk, that smile. Those prescious eyes, that innocent face. She would change. Change just like her father on this very same night. But how kagome kept her safe, every night she'd held her close, the week child now human. She was limp and clumbsy, she had no strength no chance on defending herself. Kagome was always there, always there to keep her safe.

Her little girl.

She sighed sitting straight up, it was nights like these that keep her up and awake. She walked to the end of her room laying against the wall. The portrait of kaida sat on the desk, kagome glanced at it.







"Mommy? what is that?" asked a small little girl pointing at a bright bird behind a cage. She followed the birds movements with steadiness.

Her mother held her in her arms, so close. Careful the little girl wouldn't fall out "its a tucan" she ansered with a smile. It stood on a green branch and cleaned its black feathers with its colorful beak. So radiant, it actually felt as if it was showing off his beautiful colors. So vein. The small girl had never seen anything like this before. The birds that flew in the sky around her home were small and brown. But this bird was black feathered with a rainbow beak.

The child's eyes opened wide with amazement, "wow! look mommy it painted its beak!" she was so entertained by the bright bird. It amazed her so much.

Kagome laughed, "No kaida, tucan's are like that." kagome giggled at the innocence of her child.

The young girl turned back to her mother, "how so?"Kaida was always eager to learn. Always filled with questions. Questions that needed answers soon.

Kagome smiled looking at the bird, "You see everything in the world is made differently, there are no things that exactly alike. This tucan was made different from other birds so it makes it special." kagome explained. She knew a lot about animals, she learned knew things every time she took kaida to the library. Both child and mother enjoyed their trips together. Kagome would let kaida choose a book, with pictures or without. Kagome would find a lonely spot in a corner of an isle and sit kaida on her lap reading her the book. Kaida would set her small hands on the pages and point to words and pictures she was curious about.

"oohhh" she said turning back to the busy bird cleaning its feathers. "So am i different too?" she asked turning back to face kagome with sadened eyes. She knew her mother would guess what was on her mind. Somehow kaida knew she was different. A little too different.

kagome smiled softly, "but it makes you special"

Kaida smiled. Somehow her mother always made it better.






Kagome walked to her desk, taking the portrait in her hands. "what a beautiful picture..." she spoke to herself, "she looked so happy..."

There could be no words to explain the agony of a mother, a mother without her child. Kagome never expected to have a baby so soon, it just happened. It wasn't planned not thought of, it wasnt a mistake. She would never see the sweet child as a mistake. Of course not, who would? The child was beautiful gorgeous as if she was sent from heaven above. She would be a beauty. Kagome sighed, "I just wish I could watch you grow..."


The days were dull and extremely quiet. The house was like a tombstone. Kagome was secure enough to leave her room and even her house. That's if she wanted to. "Come on Kagome you need some fresh air, let's go out" her friend's words lingered in her mind. Kagome sat at her kitchen table with a cup of tea infront of her. She glanced out the window without any idea of what day it was.

"Hey kagome" came a boyish voice. It was Souta. He stood in the entrance of the kitchen, a soccer ball next to his feet. "Yeah?" her voice was solemn. Souta took a seat across from her. "kagome..." he began, "I was gunna go to the park, you don't mind being alone?". Kagome shook her head forcing her brother a smile, a smile to reassure him everything was fine. "Sure"
Souta returned the small smile and stood from the kitchen, "I'll be home at six:"
"Careful" she called out after him. It would be her death if her beloved brother would go missing as well.

Kagome stood from the kitchen table deciding to do some chores. After the dishes were done she made her way to the laundry room. Kagome picked up all the dirty laundry and set it all in the washer and then she emptied the dryer. Load after load of clothing. She raised a small red shirt up in the air infront of her eyes. It was Kaida's. Tears swelled up in kagome's eyes but she fought them back setting the shirt over her arm. She took a deep breath, who knew it would hurt so much. The day outside was cloudy though the air was warm. It was strange weather. A walk through the park would be extremely nice but there was no more small hand to hold onto. After the laundry was finished kagome vacuumed. It didn't take long to vacuum the whole house infact her mind was so clouded the time went by fast. Once the house looked spotless kagome stood infront of the attic door, her pale hand turned the knob and she went up the staris. It was dark and dusty filled with a lot of ancient artifacts and belongings of the Higurashi family. Kagome went through some dusty boxes of items she had packed up soon after she heard the knews of the child that was on its way. She sat on the wooden floor, "Well there's got to be something interesting in here" she opened the first box that read: Kagome's stuff
and searched through it. Kagome found her old dairies and her old photo albums. "i remember this" she cracked a smile opening the old phto album. There were pictures of her at an earlier age and also pictures of her and...Inuyasha. The pictures almost brought a smile to her face until she remembered what had happened that night. She couldn't bring herself to throw them away or burn them so she packed them up and up into the attic they went.

There was a picture that caught her interest. It was a picture of them at the beach. Kagome wore a white tank top with black shorts, her raven hair up in a pony tail and her feet burried in the white sand. Inuyasha had been stuck wearing a pair of red shorts that had been giving to Souta but were just too big for him. His body was strong, all his muscles in the right place, he looked like a Greek God. A cap was placed over his head to cover his doggy ears. Kagome kneeled behind him wrapping her arms around his neck while Inuyasha lay against one hand as he sat in the sand. He had a smirk on his face and kagome smiled as if she couldn't be any happier. They looked so happy, so in love.

Kagome looked at the picture, "How I miss those days" she spoke to herself touching the picture with her velvet fingers. What a beautiful memory.



The day was warm and bright with the sun high up in the air. The air smelled of ocean, fresh and salty with a beautiful auroma. Treats were being sold along the board walk and along the beach, chips, drinks, ice cream, sushi, hamburgers, hot dogs, ramen, rice cakes and dumplings. Anything and everything, The sea gulls flew over head looking for something to catch and eat as soon as they landed on a rock up in the ocean.
The beach was stretched out with multi colored umbrellas. Each one a different color, each one a different pattern under them were people relaxing, reading or simply just enjoying the view.. There were tons of people, far as the eye could see. They sarrounded the beach, the restautants and the gift shops. Many of them barefoot. Some were having fun splashing in the water while others satisfied themselves in the sun. It was a perfect day to be out and about. Nothing could ruin this day at all, no rain clouds were in sight. Everything: Perfect.
"Hey inuyasha look at this!" kagome said sitting up from the the white warm sand, she held a small crab in her hands. Its little claws tickled her fingers. It was a baby, an adult would of snapped her fingers right off.
"What the hell is that, kags?" Inuyasha asked as if he had never seen a crab before. He was a bit irritated that the million of scents were overwhelming his ultra sensitive nose. Kagome set her hands down showing him the little crab, "Well its a small little animal that lives out here in the beach, you've never seen one before, Inuyasha?"
"Keh, it seems rather useless to me" he said flicking the crab out of kagome's hands. He had no interest in the unsignificant little creature, a shark or something larger would be of better interest.
"Hey!" kagome protested trying to find the little crab once more but its red orange shell had dissapeared down into the white sand..
Inuyasha stood up stretching his tired limbs and then, picking kagome up bridal style in his strong arms.
"Inuyasha!" she gasped realizing she was no longer sitting on the comfort of the sand. He put a finger to her lips and walked off with her. She watched him wondering where he was taking her. His eyes straight ahead not even glancing at her to reassure her that everything was okay. Her cheeks turned a scarlet red and she gulped. What was running through his mind? His skin felt extremly cold against her own. It was soothing anf cooled down her burning skin. Her heart was pounding and she didn't doubt that he could hear her. Maybe he couldn't and if he could he knew how much his actions made her heart flutter.
Inuyasha carried kagome to the other side of the large boulder, so large it was like a hill. There the beach was lonely, there was no person in sight. No food vender, the right spot for some well desired privacy. There were little tide pools on the ground they stretched out along the beach and along the large rock. Each one filled with different animals and plants. It was like a different life was being portrayed in each pool."Wow" kagome gasped. Inuyasha sat her on the sandy floor. He looked at her with his golden orbs. "I think we need some time to ourselves" he didn't lie.
He was quite annoyed that there was way too many people at the beach and he couldn't have a moment alone with her.
That's all he wanted out of this dumb trip. The reason why he had allowed himself to be dragged down the well and changed into these ridiculous shorts. He had never felt so strange in clothing before but it was all for her. All for kagome.
"So what are you thinking of?" He asked her.
Kagome spread a small smile but her eyes staid on her toes, her fingers wrapped around them, "If I tell you, you'll laugh"
Inuyasha chuckled, "What makes you think I'll laugh?"
Kagome's cheeks tinted with a small bit of pink, "Its nothing"
"C'mon kags tell me!" he begged, "I won't laugh."
She turned to him, taking her eyes from her feet and landing them on him. On Inuyasha. "You promise?"
Inuyasha nodded, "Yes"
"Pinky promise" she set her pinky up infront of him. Inuyasha laughed, "okay okay" his pinky wrapped around hers and the promise was made.
"So then tell me what you're thinking of" he looked for her eyes.
"You..." she whispered finding his eyes. Inuyasha starred at her in disbelief for a small moment then he smiled. A smile that could melt. "I like that" he whispered back and laid his lips on hers.


"..now those days are gone" she set the picture down. "Inuyasha...how i wish we could of raised our daughter together"
she flipped the page and looked at more pictures of the beautiful past. "Inuyasha...if you hand't been reckless and stupid" she faught back the tears that wanted to burst out.

Her cheeks stung with a hot feeling that traveled up to her ears. Like if her face was burning. The numbness returned and she let go of the grip of reality. She held another photograph, one of Inuyasha by himself. His crooked smile, her favorite. His golden orbs glowing, illuminating the room. And that face, no one could of been as beautiful as he was. He didn't wear his usual red kimono, he wore a white v-neck shirt with a leather jacket. His jeans were dark and blue, he wore nice shoes for a fancy day out. His ears were free of any hat, exposing his soft ears. So soft. He was so beautiful, it felt as if one day he would just dissapear into thin air. Kagome always thought she wasn't good enough for him. When they stood side by side he looked like a Greek God while she looked way too normal, not even ranking in the same radience he did. Kagome didn't find herself appealing but Inuyasha thought otherwise. To him, she was perfect.

Though he was gone now, back in the feudal era. She had no idea what he had done after she left him. After that horrible night in the wild green forest. Kagome crossed her legs placing the album into her lap. Her face still felt hot and her cheeks began to tingle. There was something stuck in her throat and she fought back the empty feeling. She flipped through the album looking at each photo slowly. Studying everything, every single detail and replaying the memory in her mind. When would she forget? When would everything just drain out of her body?

She closed the book back up, "Inuyasha..." she whispered.




***

Kaida sat under a deep cave her little hands opened and closed as her clwas dissapeared. She pushed her body against the cold rock wall, whimpering. The fear ran up and down her body.Her pitch dark hair covered her luscious topaz eyes. Tears dripped down her cheeks clashing on the cold ground. A tingletapped at her shoulder and she as a centipede tried to make its way up her shoulder. Kaida ran out of the cave exposing herself to the moon. She looked down shifting her glance to the grass below. "I wanna go home" she pouted almost in tears. Her stomach growled with hunger, her feet ached wuth pain and her small body couldn't stop shaking. A cold chill soon attacked her body, a strange aura covered the air. Kaida held her arms together though an illuminating light caught her eye. Her eyes shone wide, a small gasp escaped her lips. "mama..?"
Her small feet stepped forward, "mama!" she ran toward the light, white snake like creatures covered the sky that sarrounded her. The air got cold as kaida approached a woman dressed in white and red. "mama!" she cried "wait for me!" the dark haired woman kept on walking, paying no mind to the child. kaida tripped, as she fell, her small hand grasped the woman's kimono. She turned around, her eyes laid on the child's sadened topaz eyes, "mama" kaida whispered. The woman standing before the child was not Kagome...her name was Kikyou. Kikyou starred at the child with disbelief.

Kaida crashed in tears.