InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Lifetime Loving You Part 1; Seasons in Owari ❯ A Wish (Final Chapter of Part 1) ( Chapter 29 )

Chapter 29; A Wish

(Kagome)

The sound of a baby's waking cries came to my ears, and I opened my eyes slowly to find the sun shining through the cracks in the barn's walls. I took a deep breath and turned my head to look as the sleeping half-demon snoozing away with my little Kitsumi in his lap. I smiled as she slowly began to cry in his arms and squirm a little.

I was sore, but I made my way closer to Inu-yasha to pick up my baby and calm her. Her cries seemed to only increase, and for the first time I discovered it was time to breast feed. As Inu-yasha flopped over on his side to curl up in the warm hay, I decided that I didn't care too much anymore about him seeing any part of me. A woman had to feed her child, and a breast shouldn't have mattered anymore.

I opened my old yukata to expose my breast and gently put Kitsumi's mouth to my nipple. She took it and began to suckle with a tremendous amount of force. "Wow, you were hungry!" I whispered.

I watched as the tiny face as she suckled and began to make tiny noises while she took her fill of breast milk.

Inu-yasha finally began to stir and his amber eyes began to blink repeatedly in order to adjust to the brightness in the barn. He yawned and stretch out his arms and back like a dog would, and shook until he could sit up with his back to the barn post that held up the loft.

I smiled and itched his back against the post. "Morning," he said simply. "How is she?"

I was surprised that he hadn't caught on that I was breast feeding yet, and I looked away turning my attention to the baby wrapped in what once were the sleeves to Inu-yasha's fire rat kimono. "Feeding, just feeding," I said softly.

Inu-yasha blinked a few times and tried not to focus on what I had technically brought up. I looked at him for a moment and felt uncomfortable making his feel this way. "I don't mind, Inu-yasha. A baby's got to eat and I won't be able to find privacy all the time when she's hungry."

Inu-yasha's eyes turned back to mine. Slowly, he crawled up to me and leaned in close to me to look at the tiny baby in my arms. His hands touched my legs for a moment before he touched the swaddling cloth and gazed at Kitsumi.

"So tiny," he said in his husky morning voice as he looked at Kitsumi feeding.

I looked at him as he watched Kitsumi feed. I wasn't quite sure what had come over me, but I began to believe that this was my first motherly instinct. Something seemed to make me worry about the way he looked at Kitsumi, and I knew it.

"Miroku and Sango will be so happy to see us once spring gets here," I said. "I wonder what they've been doing while we've been so far from home." I smirked at the thought; completely curious about what we would find when we came home.

Home

That had a different meaning now too. The feudal era was my home now. It was Kitsumi's home, too.

"Shippo, too! He'll want to see the new baby," I giggled. "He's not going to be the youngest in the group anymore."

Inu-yasha looked at me. "Where will you stay in the village?"

I shrugged my shoulders as I watched Kitsumi suckle. "I guess I'll live with Kaede for a while until I can find a place of my own."

Inu-yasha blinked for a moment as he looked at me and then back down at Kitsumi. "Why don't...why don't you build a place near my tree?" I looked at him and he sat down more comfortable. "The villagers can help us to build a hut by my old tree on the outskirts of the village. That way Kitsumi can run and play in the open space, climb trees when she's ready, and..."

I felt him touch my hand and grasp it in his larger one. "And we can take care of her a raise her in the village. You can teach her things from your time and we'll create things to help run things around the house.

"We'll do it together, and Sango and Miroku can help us. We'll raise Kitsumi together."

I felt my heart begin to pound, but it wasn't out of joy. Pictures of what had been and what could be flashed in my mind. And no matter how hard I didn't want to see it, I saw her face in every flashing picture of doubt and fear in my mind.

It is true that any mother would want to protect their child from heartbreak or from the same pain that they had endured during their childhood. This was why I did it. I didn't want Kitsumi to be rejected or forgotten. She deserved to be loved whole heartedly without reservation or second thought.

I did it to protect her. I'd die before I'd let her experience the kind of pain I had going through, and the tears I shed from that pain.

Where I found the strength to say those words, I'll never know. Yet this much was true, my heart broke with every word as I built that wall around myself. I built a wall to protect Kitsumi from pain, and in doing so suffered as I hardened my heart. I didn't want to. I didn't want to hurt him, but I had to.

I had to protect her.

I had to raise her.

I was all she had.

"No!" my voice cracked, and Inu-yasha's face froze in shock. His heart must have skipped a beat from the surprise

"Wha...what?" his lips trembled in their struggle to ask that question, fearing I would say the same word.

I pulled my hand away from his and held Kitsumi close to me. "No, Inu- yasha, there is no 'us', there is no 'we'. It's just Kitsumi and me. If Sesshoumaru cannot accept her, then I will. I'll protect her and feed her, and I'll be the one who raises her."

Inu-yasha's eyes were so wide that they began to look dry and he shook his head. "You're...you can't be serious, can you? Kagome...you don't have to do this alone.

"Kagome...I'm right here with you!"

His hand reached out for me and I twitched to reject it like it was poison. A sweet poison or dream I couldn't afford anymore.

"Inu-yasha, I can't! You have your own desires and duties. I can't take that from you. You still need to defeat Naraku and get the jewel away from him. Kouga still has two shards in his legs, and Kohaku still walks this world with a shard in his back."

Inu-yasha shook his head for a moment. I knew he couldn't believe what he was hearing. I couldn't believe what I was saying.

His voice crackled when he spoke. "You don't mean that. You can't--"

I turned to him and looked him in the eye with the dirtiest look I could muster, and by his reaction, I must have looked very scarier than the most fearsome demon he had ever faced.

"Don't you get it? Things are different now, Inu-yasha. I can't follow you anymore. I have something to take care of. A duty to handle and a child to raise, which means I can't be leaving at a moments notice to go do battle with you and your shard hunt.

"I'm a mother now!"

Inu-yasha's eyes narrowed and shot back his glare. "I don't believe you! Kagome, I told you I wouldn't leave your side. I promised that I'd always protect you from harm."

I held Kitsumi close to me and I turned away from him. "Question is, Inu- yasha, can you protect her from yourself?"

Inu-yasha's claws dug into the ground and hay, feeling anger and heart break build inside of him as my eyes turned to look at him coldly. Inside, however, I was ready to fall apart. I was ready to cry from all the pain I was feeling, but I kept telling myself, 'You're doing this for her sake. You're doing this to protect Kitsumi from being rejected by two men. You know that. You know this is the only way.'

Inu-yasha leaned over me and his chest tensed. His eyes looked at me as they began to gloss. "Has all this time meant nothing to you?" he roared.

And just like that, Kitsumi began to cry from the sound in Inu-yasha's sudden tone. My eyes were wide with fear as tears that I couldn't hold back began to run down my face. Inu-yasha's eyes softened once he had finished and they began to run as well.

A second later Inu-yasha's eyes fell on Kitsumi as her wails got louder and her face turned red. His whole body began to look weaker suddenly, like something had ripped all of the strength out of his body.

I swallowed hard as he was distracted by Kitsumi's scream and with all the strength I had left, I forced myself to grab the rosary around Inu-yasha's neck and pull it over his head. Inu-yasha voice questioned what had just occurred.

The rosary glowed purple in my hand as I gripped the beads and tears ran down my face as he looked at me.

"Kagome...I--"

"You're free now. I owe you nothing, so there's no reason for you to stay beside me anymore."

The purple glow dimmed and the rosary returned to its normal colors of black and white beads. I let it fall from my hand and it rattled as it hit the earth below us. Inu-yasha watched the beads drop like it was his heart falling to the floor.

Kitsumi's wails increased as I tried to rock her in my arms and turn to the side away form Inu-yasha.

The bond was broken.

I heard the beads rattle as Inu-yasha picked them up into his hand and looked at it. He then turned to me and I tried to control the tears in my eyes and calm Kitsumi.

"Please...let me hold her!" I heard his voice said softly. My eyes met his as in that one brief moment; I felt my entire body shiver.

Inu-yasha's eyes never looked so utterly alone and scared, and just looking at them made chills run over my body.

I felt cold and for the first time the chilliness of loneliness gripped my heart with a vengeance.

I took in a breath of air to speak, but before I could say a word a loud ripping noise turned out attention to the place where the barn door had once been.

Polaris and Aki came through the door opening to find us. "Lady Kagome!" Polaris called as she came to my side and Aki helped Inu-yasha to his feet.

"Come, let's leave them be," he told him as he led him outside, but Inu- yasha didn't take his eyes off me.

~~~~

(Inu-yasha)

I looked at the rosary in my hand as I sat in the tree that spring night. Kitsumi was now four months old, and Kagome and I hadn't had a decent conversation since the birth.

"You're free now. I owe you nothing, so there's no reason for you to stay beside me anymore."

Her words echoed in my head.

What was freedom worth if it wasn't spent being at Kagome's side?

It wasn't normal, and no matter how long I looked at those beads none of it felt right.

I gripped the beads in my hand and stuffed it in the folds of my clothing, keeping it close to my heart. Then I turned to the open window in Kagome's room and jumped down and over to its ledge. Like a hawk I looked at Kagome as she slept. I jumped down and prowled a long the floor until I came to her face.

I watched her shiver from the spring cold, and I pulled the blanket over her shoulder to give her warmth. I nuzzled her face sweetly before hearing a baby coo and kick around in her bed.

The cradle I had made held the tiny human girl with spots of thin black hair, and two large sky blue eyes that made me wonder whom she had inherited them from, since Kagome's eyes were brown.

Kitsumi cooed softly and I hushed her as I tucked her into the fold of my now fire rat vest. I never did bother to repair it seeing as Kitsumi's swaddling cloth was a piece of me that she slept with at night. In reality, it made me feel like I was that much closer to her.

I took one last look at Kagome before sneaking into the shadows of the house and then the woods as I made my way to the ocean cliffs on the other side of the thick wood.

My presence didn't go unnoticed and I turned around once I got to the furthest out cliff. I could smell their scents in the trees; Polaris, Aki, and the rest of them with the wolf-dog demons that made up what was left of the midland pack.

I cradled Kitsumi in my arms and looked at her as she cooed and giggled as she became fascinated with one of the short locks of hair that hung over my shoulders. I lifted her tiny face and nuzzled it with my nose. She laughed as her tiny hands touched my eyes and nose. Her fresh baby scent that was mixed with Kagome's made my heart beat a little faster.

I took Kitsumi into my hands and stretched them out over the sea, and I spoke a loud.

"Behold, your dog hanyo sister...Kitsumi! Daughter of the Western Wind Pack!"

There was a sound of thunder in the distance and it began to rain heavily on us as I held Kitsumi up to the heavens.

Polaris leaned forward in her tree and roared into the night sky. Aki soon joined her, and then her sisters and the rest followed as a chorus of roars echoed through the ocean cliffs.

I filled my chest with air and roared into the thunder and rain. My chest vibrated and Kitsumi didn't cry from the loud noise. She was one of us...this was normal to her.

'Behold, your dog hanyo sister, Kitsumi...my daughter...'

~~~

(Kagome)

I sat back in the trees as the dog demons roared in their chorus to welcome Kitsumi into their lives.

I leaned against a tree and my tears mixed with the rain as I looked at Inu- yasha, and felt my body pine for him; my heart and soul pined for his.

"I wish...I wish...you could be the one. I wish you could be her father..."

Thunder clapped and the earth shook...and our lives continued...but one thing stayed the same...

Because of Kitsumi...it stayed the same...We didn't let go...

~~~~

Josh Groban ---Never Let Go (Feat Deep Forest)

I can't understand it.

The search for an answer is met with a darker day.

And we've been handed these moments forever.

But I'm reassured there's another way.

You don't have to close your eyes.

There is room for love again.

Ease the pain to realize

All that love can be.

Forced apart by time and sand.

Take a step and take my hand.

And don't let it go.

Never let go.

~

Broken, once connected,

We were so strong and so blessed in a simple way.

So don't let me go it alone.

Turn your head up to the sky.

Nothing down below but me.

Face the truth to realize

All that we could be.

Torn apart by rage and fear.

Hold onto what brought you here.

Don't let it go.

Never let go.

~

Turn your head up to the sky.

Nothing down below.

Don't let go.

~End of Part 1; Months in Owari~

~Preview of A Lifetime Loving You; Part 2; The Path to Osaka~

Inu-yasha and Kagome have returned to the village of Edo to live out their lives as they have said they would.

Kitsumi, now five years old, and her best friends Kara and Kohaku--the twins of Miroku and Sango-- for the moment are only dealing with the village bullies and trying to stay out of trouble most of the time away.

For little Kitsumi, the struggles are easily solved and caused by one simple thing, and that is her love for riding the wind on the back of the only man whom she has known all her life; Inu-yasha. The relationship is simple and buddy-buddy relationship without any real attachments. That is until Kitsumi starts pestering mother about having Inu-yasha come over for dinner.

Yet the dream of a simple life is short lived when the village is attacked causing Kitsumi's demon blood to snap and thus, her first transformation into the feared appearance of a hanyo.

Kagome find herself in a hole to aid Kitsumi in understand who she really is-the daughter of a ruthless dog demon. But as soon as Sesshoumaru's foretold rejection reaches Kitsumi's ears, Naraku makes his move to take the little hanyo from all she has known. An attempt foiled by the sacrifice of a dear friend and Inu-yasha's feelings for Kagome and Kitsumi.

Now, Inu-yasha must lead not only Kagome, Kitsumi, and the rest of the gang, but the entire village of Edo on a two month journey through the turning winter thaw to find safety in the western shores of Osaka.

With the aid of Polaris and her midland tribe, and an odd royal samurai from the city of Kyoto, Inu-yasha will have to lead all of them westward through the mountains being wary of not only the demon dangers, but the fury of nature itself.

But through it all, the spark once believe to have died between Inu-yasha and Kagome begins to fan again, as Kitsumi begins to decided for herself, who she believes is worthy of being called "Father", and moment when they discover that they can't go on without the other.

Get comfortable folks! This is the Inu and Kag fluff you've all been waiting for, along with a little Inu and Kit cuteness on the side.