InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Sealed Fate ❯ Chapter 13

Finally, the group was on the move. It seemed like it had been an eternity since the last solid rumor of a shard came their way. In the past, they would scout the area, roaming the land, sniffing out any chance of the jewel, but that was different. The group was in its own misfit harmony then; now, it was difficult enough to stomach the tension and unease for the length of the journey. Inuyasha was thankful that the sun was shining and the temperature warm. He wanted nothing to stand in his way. Finding the jewel brought him once step closer to finishing off that bastard, and then after that, he could find his long anticipated rest.

His heart ached for it. Would it be a dreamless sleep? Or would be able to spend those 500 years with his Kagome living a state without limitations? Either way he was fine with it. The dog demon was simply eager to get the process started.

The best part would be when he awoke. He imagined it would be similar to when she pulled the sacred arrow from his chest; he would sense her first, his sensitive nose picking up her intoxicating scent from miles away. His ears would twitch in response to the sound of her footsteps, each drawing closer, making his heart speed up. When she touched him, he would open his eyes, and he would smile just as before.

But it would be different the second time around. Instead of accusing her of being the dead priestess, he would call her out by name. Perhaps he would tease her and pronounce her name the way she often did- KA-GO-ME. He would breathe in her essence, devour her with his eyes, and drag her body against his. It wouldn't matter if his limbs were stiff from 500 years of slumber; all that would matter is that she would be within arm's reach.

Yes, of all the things he was looking forward too, he couldn't wait for the moment he opened his eyes the most.

For now, he had his memories, so strongly burned in his mind that they were almost tangible. In the back of his mind, perhaps he always knew she would leave, and his subconscious was eager to preserve her while it had the opportunity.

He was thankful for that.

As he ran, the pads of his feet pushing off the dirt road from under him, he could practically feel the weight of his Kagome resting on his back. He imagined the feeling of her fingers resting on his broad shoulders. Her sweet smell drifting to his nose-

No, that was wishful thinking.

There was a miko on his back, but it wasn't the one his soul called for. The smell of her death riddled body was enough to wake him from his musings. The clay priestess was indeed pressing her frail body against his, her nails digging into his shoulders. It occurred to him why-She didn't trust him; she didn't have faith in him that even in this strange, awkward relationship, he would keep her safe. Kagome was never like that. Even when they had first met, and he had wanted to shrug her off mid jump, she had complete trust that he would hold on to her and protect her. In fact, on days when he felt particularly bold, he would take a path that required higher leaps, rocker terrain and look for higher ground. He wanted her to hold on tightly to him, breathless from the feeling of flying.

This feeling was different. It felt no good to have someone cling to you out of fear. If they were not in a hurry to find this shard, would she have desired to be carried in this undignified way? If this were 50 years ago, would she have allowed him this intimate action, and in front of company no less?

He couldn't help but wonder. Although it was Kagome he loved, he would never forget Kikyou, would never stop questioning. The dog demon grounded his teeth. He had been so unfair to Kagome. Sneaking off to see Kikyou. Comparing her, putting her down. And she stayed faithful, like a dog. Like a good bitch. Wasn't he supposed to be the dog? Loyal to one person to a fault? He blamed his weak human side. It was always that bastard who clung to the past. The demon in him was always grounded in the present- in his Kagome.

Yet even on the night of the full moon, when his demon blood receded and his human life force pumped through his veins, it was still Kagome who was on his mind; he was occupied by the loss of his senses, how he couldn't smell her, how he couldn't pick up her emotions easier, detect her movements from afar. That's why when she would unexpectedly touch him, their hands slightly making contact, her head unexpectedly resting against him… it shot electricity through his body. That was the only aspect in which he enjoyed being caught off guard.

Inuyasha sighed.

The new moon would be coming soon. If it was unpleasant before Kagome left, it felt unbearable now. His human heart missed her, ached for her. He wanted no one's company- he wanted solitude. He wanted to be in familiar places that they had visited. Most of all, he wanted to be in the sacred tree. The hanyou knew full well that this tree stood proudly in her time, roped off and honored at her family's shrine.

He also knew that she treasured it. More than once, when the miko had not known he was watching her, she would run her graceful fingers over the knot in the tree where the arrow had pierced. This was an important place for the two. It was where fate had them meet. If there was a chance that Kagome was missing him, thinking about him… He imagined she would be at that tree, paying her respects, as he had seen her do so many times before in those moments she thought she was alone. Silly girl. She should have known that he was always there, always watching.

The dog demon shook his head to clear his thoughts. There was no use thinking about that now. He was on his way to battle, on his way to another step in his misson. He needed to put his mind and his efforts into focus.

And he needed to get these damned crescent shaped daggers to get the fuck out of his flesh!

“OI! Enough with the nails already! I aint gonna drop you so relax a little!”

“My apologies Inuyasha. This is just rather…unnerving. Did I harm you?”

“It's not exactly like that but it's not a pleasant feeling, you know?”

Kikyou gave a small laugh.

“What was that for?”

“To think that you could be hurt by something as small as my finger nails… it just seems rather amusing to me. I did not intend to cause you pain. I will be more aware.”

“Like I said, it's not pain, it's just… distracting, is the best way to describe it I guess.”

“Oh Inuyasha! Are you conjuring up an image of those nails digging into your back for another reason?” Miroku interjected. That damned monk. He couldn't help himself! He quickly received a thrashing from Sango.

“What is wrong with you Miroku!”

“I was simply saying that there are various meanings to-“

“Keh! Yeah right. Keep your dirty mouth to shut, perverted monk.”

Kikyou leaned in close, and spoke in a low tone so that only the hanyou could hear.

“I would not mind if that's what you were thinking, Inuyasha. I told you my desire once before, and it has not changed. I wish to live with you, be with you, as a man and woman… as lovers.”

He faltered; he nearly dropped the miko. Inuyasha felt his breath hitch in his throat and his stomach flip. She was propositioning him, again. He had managed to evade her this far, but now there was nowhere to go.

“Kikyou… now…now is not the time to discuss this…”

“I am beginning to lose patience, Inuyasha. If we do not properly have the conversation, the outcome that I require, I will take matters into my own hands. I will bind you to a tree I that's what it takes to keep you from running.”

Was she serious? Did Kikyou ever… joke? Ever laugh for fun? Make a silly face for the enjoyment of others or tell ridiculous stories to cheer up those around her?

No, this woman was not like Kagome. She was not the heat and the passion of the woman he loved. She was the ice, the cold. She did not joke.

“We… we will talk soon. I promise. But right now we need to put all our energy into finding the shard.”

Kikyous response was a low hum, and a slight squeeze of his shoulders, her nails finding the indented grooves from before.

`Damn those fucking nails…'

~.~

Kagome played with the chain that hung delicately around her neck. This was a weight she knew, a weight she had missed. The shard glowed pink from her purification, and the miko couldn't help but smile knowing she could still do at least that much.

It had been a week since the shard came into her possession. On the drive home, Jiro had been relentless. He was full of questions and curiosity, and she had been mute and unresponsive. Despite his nagging she was able to fall asleep peacefully, the jewel clutched so tightly in her fist it almost drew blood.

A week. And still she was no closer to figuring out what to do with it. It was an important piece of the puzzle, an essential part to defeat Naraku. She knew she had to bring it back to the feudal era. If she didn't, than all the work that her friends had done, all that she had given up, all that they had lost, would be for nothing.

It crossed her mind that if the jewel made it to her time line, than the shikon had never been completed. Did that mean that Naraku failed, and was defeated by Inuyasha? Or was it the other way around.

No, he wouldn't have lost to a person such as Naraku. He was strong and brave, with a motive to battle and the encouragement of the woman he loved, faithfully and skillfully fighting by his side. No, there was no possible way that her hanyou would lose.

No, she couldn't think of him like that anymore. He didn't belong to her, he belonged to her predecessor, Kikyou. She had to stop being possessive of things that she had no claim on. Kagome dragged her knees to her chest and placed her chin upon them.

“Oi.” Jiro said, his voice gruff. She knew him well enough by now. He was concerned about her. She looked up in response.

`Damn, she looks so cute with those big eyes of hers. I wish I could get her to smile. She always looks likes shes holding back.'

“Whats the matter? You've been down since last week.”

“Eh? Im not down! Really Im fine!” She plastered on her best smile and moved her hands to usher him away.

“Stop that. Fake cheeriness on you just looks plain creepy.”

Kagome narrowed her eyes and dropped her hands.

“No fooling you, right?” She gave a small laugh. “I guess its no use feeling down. I know what I have to do, Im just procrastinating because Im afraid.”

“Eh? Afriad?”

“I… I have to go somewhere I really don't want to… Well, that not exactly true. I do want to go back, more than anything! But, I don't want to see… it will just be too painful.”

“Ah, the guy that hurt you, right?”

“How, how did you know about that?”

“Your mother told me a few details. That you were in love with a guy, sounds like a real asshole if you ask me, and he was hung up on his ex. So you let him go to be with her again.”

“Hm, yeah, that's the gist of it, I suppose. It always seems so much more complicated when your in the thick of it.”

“Stupid. Of course it does. Your emotions make everything more complicated.”

“That's true.”

“Do you… do you still love him?”

He didn't want to ask that question. It slipped out before his teeth had the decency to bite his tongue.

“…Yes.”

“Despite the fact that he is in love with another woman?”

“Well, it was always that way. I knew going into it that I could never hold a candle to her. I guess, the reality is that he always belonged to her. I was a fool to think there was any room for me. I just loved him so much, that to be by his side, even though he did not return my feelings, was enough… When you truly love something, you want it as close by you as you can, you want to preserve and protect it. In a way I suppose I am lucky, that I was allowed to have so much of his attention, when he was never mine. I was always aware that when I stood beside him, it was on borrowed time.”

“That guy sounds like a real fucking asshole.”

She gave a smile. “He could be, at times. Especially in the beginning. But once I got to know him, he could be quite gentle.”

“No one is gentle when they play with someones feelings Kagome. Don't be so naïve.”

“It wasn't like that. Although I know he truly did care for me… it just couldn't compete to the love he had for her. So, when she told me she wanted him back, I let her. I thought it would be a chance for him to heal. All I ever wanted was for him to smile without a heavy heart.”

Jiro processed what this girl, no woman was saying. These were not feeling of a mere teenager, shallow that sway from week to week. These were the bitter sweet words of love, of pain ad betrayal. Had this asshole ever given her a happy memory? Ever taken her feelings into account? He clenched his fists. He wanted to knock out the selfish bastard. Didn't he realize how precious Kagome was? He was envious that her feelings, so deep and flowing were wasted on such scum. He wanted to direct them at himself. The air hung heavy, waiting for his response.

“So why do you have to see him?”

“Oh, I found something of his. It really important that he has it returned.”

“Well, if that's the case, I will do it for you.”

“Eh?”

“You don't want to see him right? Ill do it.”

Kagome looked at him, as if for the first time. Jiro was trying to protect her. She couldn't help but smile. She had a friend.

“Thanks, but its something only I can do. That means a lot though. Thank you.”

Jiro stood and brushed the dust off his clothes.

“Well, if you change your mind, or you want me with you let me know. Yeah- better yet, let me come! Il kick his ass!”

“Haha! That wouldn't be a long fight. Why are men always so eager to resort to violence!?”

“We are animals, you knw.” He said with a wink as he walked off.

`You have no idea Jiro…'

She knew she had to return the shard. She would have to take those heavy steps to the well, open the door that shielded it from her view. Place one foot in front of the other as she descended down the stairs. The miko would carefully remove the sacred sutras, and let the time slip open. Letting one leg hang over the side, she would jump down into that era, into the place, that hid her heart.

Kagome began to reach for the door.