InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Silent Affair ❯ Chapter 5

Her room was tidy and very simple. Other than the normal futon, the only furniture in the room was a low chest of drawers. On top of its polished surface sat several pictures that he recognized. She and Sota at Sota's graduation, his parents caught snuggling on the living room couch, an old family portrait of the whole Higurashi family that had been saved from their home. The only one he didn't remember was a shot taken of him and Miroku throwing popcorn at one another, Sesshomaru standing in the background with a look of disgust on his face. The hanyou grinned slightly at the memories they portrayed. These were obviously important to Kagome, the only decorations in the room. She had lived here for three years and all she had to define the room as hers were a few old photos? Inuyasha took a seat on the floor next to Miroku and across from Kagome, watching her intensely. He was still confused. Why had she left, why had she made sure that he specifically didn't know where she'd gone? He didn't think it was because she hated him because she certainly wouldn't have held him earlier nor would she have stroked his ears like that. Finally he worked up the nerve to ask her why she'd left. `What did I do wrong?' he signed to her, his golden eyes wide and sad. Somehow it felt wrong to talk inside, a silence pervading the building that the outdoors didn't imply.

 

Kagome sighed, looking away as she obviously tried to collect her thoughts. Inuyasha could smell the conflict in her scent, her pain, her anger, her confusion. He wanted so badly to reach out and touch her like he'd been able to when they were younger but he restrained himself and waited for her to answer his question. `I wanted you to be happy,' she responded simply, as if that answered everything.

 

`Happy? You disappeared! I… I was frantic!' he signed fervently, biting his tongue to keep from shouting at her. Yelling wouldn't get them anywhere. She shook her head at him, indicating that that wasn't what she'd meant. `Then what are you talking about? Is this… is this about Kikyo?' The inuhanyou saw her flinch at the name and instantly understood what had made her leave, or more accurately, who. `She was supposed to come visit the week after you left. I never even made the connection.' Kagome glanced away from him, obviously unable to meet his eyes. `I still don't get why you left.' Miroku grunted next to him and shook his head, anger in his scent as well. Inuyasha frowned. Miroku rarely showed his anger and it shocked him some to notice it in him now. Was there something he had completely missed?

 

`It doesn't matter.'

 

`Of course it matters!'

 

`You couldn't have fixed it,' she insisted, `you two are happy together.' Miroku glanced away. He had tried to explain to Kagome before that Kikyo had been getting impatient to wed Inuyasha some time ago but when he'd last been to visit her the hanyou's fiancee had still been around so he hadn't wanted to get her hopes up. Kagome caught on to his look before looking back at Inuyasha. `You… you got married right?' she asked with shaking hands, whether from her emotion in asking the question or her fear of the answer, he wasn't sure. Inuyasha shook his head, staring somewhat sullenly at his hands. Kagome stood abruptly, going to stand at the small window that allowed light into the room. The pair of males watched her in silence, one completely unsure of her thoughts and the other knowing she needed time to process this information.

 

“She left,” Inuyasha whispered to her back, hanging his head as he relived the moment Kikyo had decided he wasn't worth the wait. At the time he'd been so frenzied with trying to find Kagome, so determined to locate his friend that he hadn't even managed to feel upset about Kikyo's departure from his life. “I can't keep living like this Inuyasha,” she'd told him, “you have to decide. It's either her or me.” He'd looked at her blankly, confused beyond reason. Why was there such a dire decision to be made? He was looking for Kagome because she wasn't where she should be and he had made a promise to protect her a long time ago. Kikyo was his fiancee and they were to be wed as soon as he found his best friend. But his would-be wife wouldn't hear of it, stomping out of the room and never looking back. She had thrown over her shoulder that he should find her if he ever changed his mind.

 

`I'm sorry,' Kagome signed without turning from the window. The inuhanyou finally stood and approached her in silence. She glanced at his face. She saw such suffering there. Was it from Kikyo or did his hurt run deeper? She hoped that he wasn't hurting from her sudden disappearance. She had hoped to spare him pain by leaving but as she fell into his deep amber eyes she realized that she had only tried to escape her own and had caused more in the process. `I'm sorry,' she repeated for a different offense. He only stared at her, slowly gliding closer. Kagome was so caught up in his eyes that she didn't notice the motion until he had his arms around her and he had buried his nose in the side of her neck. His left ear flicked against the corner of her left eye, forcing her to close them both as she settled into his embrace. It felt good to be held by him, to have his warmth wrapped around her and his unique scent filling her nose. She could feel his youki fluttering somewhat erratically and Kagome felt her aura automatically try to soothe the agitated hanyou in her arms. She had been doing it for ten years of her life unknowingly and now that she had conscious control over it, it hardly mattered. Soothing Inuyasha was second nature to her and she realized that maybe without her he had felt the difference.

 

“I missed you so much,” he whispered into her hair. He smelled tears come to her eyes and held her tighter. A selfish part of him didn't want her to say anything to ruin this but when she pushed gently against him with her shoulder, he knew he had to let go, if only a little. Looking down into her tear-filled eyes was almost as hard as it had been letting her walk out of the room that day he proposed to Kikyo. He still didn't understand everything, only that his engagement had more or less been the breaking point in his relationship with Kagome and in the end it had lost him both women. Inuyasha only knew that losing Kagome had been more painful and more terrifying than having Kikyo walk out of his life. So maybe that meant he cared for her more. “Please come back with me,” he murmured. Kagome's eyes widened and more tears slipped down her cheeks. She mouthed his name, trying to pull away from him. “Please Kagome. Come home with me.” She sighed, looking away for a moment. Seeing that she was at least thinking it over the hanyou let her go enough so she could use her hands.

 

`You need to know everything before you ask me that.'

 

“What is there to know?” By this point Miroku had gotten up as well and was standing near the pair but far enough back to give them some privacy. Inuyasha looked to him to see if he knew anything and saw a grim look on the dark-haired man's face. What's so serious that even Miroku looks afraid to tell me? Kagome tried to turn away from him again but he held her hips in his hands. “Tell me.”

 

“You're going to be angry Inuyasha,” Miroku told him in a soft voice.

 

`Don't Miroku,' Kagome suddenly interjected.

 

“He has the right to know Kagome,” he responded firmly.

 

`No. It will only make him angry.'

 

“Just tell me,” the hanyou interrupted, not letting the two dark-haired humans continue arguing. Kagome froze immediately, looking away from both men and crossing her arms angrily over her chest. The familiarity of the stubborn gesture made Inuyasha smile a little. She'd gotten that from him. When he looked over at Miroku the man nodded and took a deep breath. “Is he allowed to tell me or are you going to do it?” he asked Kagome. She shrugged, uncooperative. Inuyasha rolled his eyes but pulled the young woman down with him as he sat. She fell into his lap and the inuhanyou had no intention of letting her leave her spot until Miroku was finished telling him what was so important. She struggled a moment but a firm growl from him stilled her squirming until she rested back against him in resigned silence. The two stared at the young man across from them as he too sat and seemingly debated his choice of words.

 

“Kagome, you really should be the one telling him this.” She shook her head and Miroku sighed. She was as stubborn as Inuyasha when it came to these things. “Fine. Kagome and Kikyo didn't get along very well.” Inuyasha snorted. He'd known as much and he'd always thought it was Kagome's unwillingness to get to know his girlfriend turned fiancee that had been the root of the problem. “Apparently Kikyo had a problem with Kagome's… silence, shall we say?” Miroku stated in his attempt at diplomacy. Inuyasha's eyebrows shot up before he tried to get a look into Kagome's face. She turned away from him, keeping their eyes from meeting.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Kikyo used to corner Kagome to insult her. She told her she was… Do I really have to repeat this Kagome? I hate thinking about these things let alone saying them,” he pleaded with the young woman. She shrugged, once again trying to distance herself from the situation. In truth she was writhing inside, wanting to run away and hide so she wouldn't have to see the pity in Inuyasha's eyes, or worse… his agreement. Inuyasha motioned for Miroku to go on so she had no real say in what happened. The young human man sighed deeply, a habit he had come into in the last hour it seemed, before looking away. “She called Kagome a mute, told her she was stupid, told her that she wasn't worth all the affection you so obviously held for her. She told Kagome to stay away from you, that she had already infected you with her `stupid language' as she called it.” Kagome felt the hanyou flinch at nearly every word then the tightening of his arms around her as he blatantly tried to protect her from the pain the memories brought back. But it was too late. He hadn't protected her then and so she had to live with that hurt. She wanted to forgive him, she really did, but could she allow herself to be swept up into his life again and not break completely when he either went back to Kikyo or found someone else entirely?

 

“Why didn't you tell me?” he uttered in a broken whisper.

 

`You love her. I wasn't going to mess that up for you.'

 

“That doesn't matter! You should have told me she was… Jesus Kagome!” he seethed futilely. She sat in his arms completely still, waiting for him to continue. He'd hardly known he had more to say until the words slipped unbidden from his lips. “I promised to protect you. You have always been my first priority, since the day my father brought you into our house and laid you in that bed. You should have told me,” he finished, tucking his nose into the space behind her left ear.

 

`I couldn't. If I told you… you might have agreed with her.'

 

“WHAT?” At his enraged shout Kagome's hand flew over his mouth, effectively quieting him. `I would never agree with anyone about that! You're not stupid, you're smarter than I could ever be. I'm the one who's worthless. I don't deserve to call you my friend,' he signed when she refused to take her hand from his lips.

 

`Don't start that,' she chided.

 

“Do you want me to tell him the rest Kagome?” Miroku chimed in before the two could start arguing about that as well. Both turned to look at him, Kagome with fear and Inuyasha with curiosity. Kagome began to protest, trying to say that he was mistaken, that there wasn't anything else. Inuyasha gripped her hands tightly to effectively stop her. The raven-haired young woman stared at him angrily until Miroku began to speak again. “There was one time… Kikyo struck Kagome.”

 

“Huh?” was Inuyasha's intelligent reply. Neither Kagome nor Miroku were sure if he hadn't understood or for some reason hadn't heard him.

 

Miroku gulped slightly as Kagome went completely lax in Inuyasha's arms. All the fight had gone out of her and he almost didn't want to clarify his statement. But the look in the hanyou's eyes wouldn't allow him to stay silent. Miroku wouldn't allow himself to stay silent, having held onto this information for too long. “She slapped Kagome. She didn't tell me about it until last year. It happened before you proposed to Kikyo.” There was a stretched stillness as Inuyasha seemed to process the information. Then the beast within broke loose. Kagome could barely hold on as Inuyasha rose instantly to his feet with her held tightly in his arms. The hanyou marched out of the room, through the hallways and out into the courtyard. Looking around uncertainly he finally found a tall tree and leaped high into its branches. When no one could see them from the ground without trying hard he settled against the trunk with Kagome in his lap and simply held her.

 

For some time he said and did nothing, simply holding her tightly to his chest and growling angrily. Kagome didn't try to make him speak, recognizing the state he was in. His youki was telling enough to let her know that there were more than likely jagged purple stripes on his cheeks, that his eyes had probably bled red and that his fangs were most likely longer, hanging over his bottom lip menacingly. Kagome could faintly hear Miroku at the bottom of the tree trying to get them to come down, but she knew that Inuyasha would sit up here for several days if it came to it. His youkai instincts sensed that he, or more probably she, was in danger and so he automatically resorted to the flight instinct in order to keep them both safe. He'd done it on more than one occasion at home and she doubted it would be the last time if he remained in her life in the future. Knowing what it took to calm him, Kagome slowly lifted one hand. He didn't move to stop her but his growl changed slightly, telling her he knew what she was doing but wouldn't make a move to keep her from doing so. She softly took one ear between her fingertips as she ran them gently up and down the downy fur on the back and the petal-soft inner part of his ear. As she continued her ministrations his growl became more tender, quieter and less feral. It was working. Unfortunately for Kagome she hadn't been prepared for him to react in a completely different way than he ever had before.

 

Unsure of how it had happened, Kagome found herself pulled tightly against Inuyasha's chest, her legs straddling his hips. His growl returned but it was in a pitch she had never heard him use before, a cadence she didn't recognize. His nose was once again buried in the crook of her neck while his tongue softly slipped across her skin. Most shocking was the press of something foreign and yet entirely too welcome between her legs. Kagome wasn't naive, nor was she stupid, but it was certainly something she had never experienced before. As soon as she tried to stop rubbing the fur covered appendage, which had brought on this reaction in the first place, Inuyasha nipped her neck more vehemently, forcing a silent gasp from her lungs and her fingers back into motion on his ear. What are you doing Inuyasha? Her thoughts were desperate as she tried to remain distant from the situation at the same time. Inuyasha was not doing this to her, he was not trying to mate with her! But the firm press of his arousal against her and the continuation of his attentions to her throat and now her shoulder proved otherwise. You can't do this to me… I was just starting to tell myself I didn't love you anymore, her mind whimpered even as her hips unconsciously moved against the hanyou's. His growl was low and very obviously pleased at her reaction, his nips and kisses on her skin increasing in passion. “Kagome,” he muttered.

 

Kagome froze. She'd thought he was still under the influence of his youkai instincts, but as his face rose and she could see in his eyes it was obvious that he had been clearheaded for some time. Shaking her head slightly, she wanted to pull from his arms, but he wouldn't let her. She wanted to be angry with him for… she didn't know what for… but her heart wouldn't allow her to. `How could you? You love her,' she signed, biting her lip as tears slid silently down her cheeks. `Don't do this to me! I can't let myself…' she paused, holding back a soundless sob, `I can't let myself love you again.' Watching her hands as they traced sorrow-filled lines so full of painful beauty, Inuyasha's eyes grew wide. Stopping her hands against his chest before she could say anything more, he looked earnestly into her deep, glassy brown eyes.

 

“I don't love her. I haven't for some time. You're all I think about, you're all I dream about. My youki searches for you, howls at me to be with you.” Gulping back a sob of his own, Inuyasha took his best friend's captured hands and lifted them to his lips. He placed soft kisses on each finger before holding them against his heart once more. “I can't live my life without you Kagome. I've been dying inside for three years and just now I finally felt my heart beating again.” Kagome took a deep breath and let out a shuddering sob as she freed her hands from his grasp and threw them around his neck. She cried without a sound into his chest for several minutes while Inuyasha gently ran his claws through her hair and growled as comfortingly as he knew how. There was no doubt in his mind now. Kagome loved him and he had years to prove to her that he loved her if only she would agree to come home with him. He would spend the rest of their lives showing her how much she meant to him.

 

`I can't,' she signed after finally calming her tears. Her arms seemed weak, too tired to lift her hands in the usually simple signs. Inuyasha growled lowly.

 

“You can and you will. You trusted me once. I have to hope that whatever trust you held in me isn't completely broken.” He paused, staring into her face with a determined look she had never seen so close before. “Whatever love you may have felt or might still feel for me… don't let it die Kagome. Not when I can show you how much I need you. How much I… I love you Kagome.” Her eyes widened, staring into the golden depths of the man in front of her. Never in her life had she even hoped to be told those words by him, in any of the three languages they knew. And yet here they were, slipping from his lips and falling on her ears like the softest caress. She felt breathless, her heart racing as she fought to draw air into her lungs.

 

`Inuyasha,' she drew out his name sign, tears filling her eyes even while she smiled at him. Her right hand rose to his face, her thumb trailing lightly over his lower lip. The hanyou continued to watch her, fascinated by the play of emotion in her eyes. His lip tingled from her touch while the taste of her skin still pleased his tongue. He wanted to taste so much more, to experience every inch of her body. Inuyasha froze when Kagome leaned closer, her hips unknowingly rolling against his as she brought her lips to his. He accepted her kiss readily despite his surprise and let his hand trail up her spine to cradle her head. Her hair drifted over the back of his hand, tickling the soft skin there. She was utterly responsive, her hands sliding up and over his shoulders to dip her fingers into his hair so she could press his mouth more firmly against hers. Tilting her head slightly using his thumb, Inuyasha was granted access with his tongue to her wonderful mouth. He traced her lower lip before finding her teeth and finally her own tongue. He growled excitedly as his kiss gained in enthusiasm. This was better than he could have hoped.

 

A loud shout shook the pair out of their passion. Kagome barely reacted in time with a barrier as an ofuda flew with surprising speed toward them. The ofuda sizzled upon touching the barrier, glowing brightly before dissipating. Kagome gasped at the shock to her system, her eyes staring down through the foliage wildly. "What the fuck!" Inuyasha yelled, startling her from her bewilderment. "Are you alright?" She nodded quickly, but the force of the power colliding with her own had shaken her. She motioned for her hanyou companion to get them down. He made it clear he thought it was a bad idea but did as asked, gently lifting her into his arms and alighting on a lower branch before landing on the dusty path beneath the tree.

 

"Are you alright Kagome-sama?" one of the younger monks questioned her fearfully, looking at the snarling hanyou clinging to her hip. She nodded, looking toward the one she knew had thrown the ofuda.

 

"I'm sorry Kagome, things were getting out of hand. The monks were having trouble with both your aura and Inuyasha's youki flaring all over the place," Miroku informed her, a chastising look turned on his silver-haired friend. "And you! Taking her up there! You could have dropped her you idiot!" Inuyasha snarled fiercely, kept at bay only by Kagome's hand on his chest.

 

'Enough you two.' Her signs caught the monks off guard, curious eyes turning on the silent miko they had known for several years now. 'Miroku, take Inuyasha out. Let me know what hotel you are staying in and I will join you soon.' Inuyasha, about to argue, was silenced abruptly when Kagome turned her fierce eyes on him. While he was glad that the sadness he'd seen in her gaze since he found her was gone, the anger she was directing at him was not what he wanted to see. 'You've caused enough trouble here. I will meet you at your hotel soon,' she told him firmly, not allowing him to argue. He wanted to, he really did. But Kagome had the right to set her affairs straight before she came home with him. And while he didn't want to admit it, he knew she was right. He had caused more than enough trouble for the monks.