InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Sorta Fairytale ❯ Chapter IV ( Chapter 4 )

"A Sorta Fairytale"

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Chapter IV

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By

Batwings

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Disclaimer: Bla bla bla, Viz Communications, bla bla bla…

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"And I ride along side,
And I rode along side
You then
And I rode along side
Till you lost me there
In the open road,
And I rode along side
Till the honey spread
Itself so thin
For me to break your bread
For me to take your word
I had to steal it…"

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October 20th

Dear Diary,

You know how you have those days where you wish you weren't yourself, or some aspect of yourself would change? Well, today was one of those days for me. I was sitting outside at lunch, minding my own business, when this guy - Jake Mathers (President of the Student Council, Quarterback of the Football team, you know…) - started throwing paper balls at me. I got up and moved, and he followed me. So I went into the bathroom hoping to lose him, and he followed me in. He said, "Yeah, I bet you like it in here, don't you, you little fag," and when he went to take a piss, he kept turning around sneering, "Don't look at me, I know you want to." And there was more bullshit, and he left.

I've never had problems with being gay before, never had problems with myself or from other people. I'm not "out" but people can pretty much guess. But today was the first time I'd ever had an incident like that. I'm usually kinda vocal and outspoken and all, but all I could do was just stare at my shoes, not saying anything.

I wish I wasn't gay, I wish I could be normal like everyone else… I don't know if I like me anymore.

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Later on October 20th

Dear Diary,

I talked to InuYasha. I really opened up to him tonight for the first time. And I was amazed at how he listened so intently. I finally told him I was gay. It was hard to explain to him at first, but when he realized what it meant, there was no shock or disbelief or anything I had expected - He was calm, serene, and just sorta nodded.

We talked for a couple of hours, about nothing really. The stars, time, people, places… I don't think I've wanted to kiss someone so badly in my life as I wanted to kiss him then. I think I'm falling in love with InuYasha… It scares me. I don't know why, but it does. He consumes my thoughts daily. People are noticing a change in me, they see me acting differently. My parents keep asking me what's wrong, but I just say I'm tired and drop it.

I want to cry. I want to let out all this emotion, but I can't for some reason. I need sleep. I need to drift into unconsciousness for a while, let my mind, my body, my soul relax. I feel as if I'm getting older, maturing… Am I?

Matt

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October 22nd

Dear Diary,

I've been clinging to InuYasha as much as possible for the past few days. Today I even stayed home from school just to hide out in the toolshed with him and talk.

It's strange the way he looks at me now, the way he acts. No more yelling and screaming and all, but he's kind, funny, gentle, protective. Do I think he loves me? I doubt it… But I love him…

Or I think I do. It's so hard to tell… These feelings are so strange and new. We'll talk, then come to a pause, look each other in the eye, then look away. It's like, now that everything is out in the open, we've become shy around each other.

The bet we made is screwed, apparently. I've told him everything about me. All we talk about is me, what I feel… He never talks about himself. Is it because he's so unselfish, or he just doesn't want to talk about himself? I don't know…

I'm tired of thinking. I'm going to sleep. Good night.

Matt

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October 30th

Dear Diary,

School hasn't really gotten much better. What Jake did to me kinda got around and people have been teasing me about it the past few days. I'm so glad it's the weekend.

I don't feel as if I fit in. I mean, I never have, really, but it's kinda intensified over the past few days. It's amazing how much can happen in the span of a week.

InuYasha has started leaving at night, wandering around. I just hope to God no one sees him. It scares me, but he is a person after all, I can't keep him locked in the toolshed all day. He went out tonight too, which really sucks because I wanted to talk to him. Sometimes, when we're together talking, I just want to wrap my arms around him and lay my head on his chest. And he would hold me and tell me that everything would be alright. But, we talk softly, solemnly, sometimes not even looking at each other. In a way, it's worse than the screaming and yelling.

Tomorrow is Halloween. I don't know how InuYasha will deal with the trick-or-treaters and whatnot. I'll probably go to the toolshed and keep him company, since he can't go out. I'm not planning on going out this year. It'll be fun.

Matt

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October 31st - Halloween

Dear Diary,

I have so much to say, and I don't know where to begin. I guess I'll just go in sequence of events.

This morning, I told InuYasha about Halloween and trick-or-treating and how he wouldn't be able to go out and all. Needless to say, he wasn't happy. I told him I would come keep him company tonight. He didn't say anything, he just sorta nodded.

Well, night came, kids and pranksters ran rampant, and I went into the shed to visit with InuYasha. I brought him some candy, which he liked. We talked a bit more about stuff, mostly me explaining the meaning behind American Halloween customs and all… he did seem genuinely interested, or else he's just a good actor.

Then, he said something to me. "Well, I've been here far over one week, and neither of us have noticed." I kinda got chills when he said that. It's true… I've been so caught up in my feelings and emotions, I forgot about the whole week thing. "This night marks two weeks since the bet," he said and smiled. "So, I guess you're not leaving anytime soon, huh?" I said. He shrugged.

I don't know what came over me at that moment, but I looked into his eyes and whispered, "I don't want you to leave." He didn't say anything. I continued, "I've… I've grown very fond of you, InuYasha. I know it's only been such a short time, but… you make me feel like I've known you all my life." Still, he said nothing. "InuYasha… I love you." I leaned in and kissed his lips softly. He didn't make any movement or protest, but just sat there silently. I pulled back and looked at him for a moment. Then I got up and ran back into the house, my eyes welling up with tears.

I wish I didn't love him… I wish I could just kick him aside and treat him like nothing. But I can't. I've fallen too deep in this well. And I don't know if I'll ever come out again…

Matt

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Sorry for taking so long to update! Yes, I'm a lazy ass, I know… >-< … Hopefully, I won't take so long to update the next chapters. I hope you like this chapter, please let me know! This is probably going to be the last "Diary Entry" chapter, unless I decide to make the last chapter a Diary Entry. Let me know how you feel about that as well.

Thank you so much for all your comments! You really make me feel special, and I'm glad you like my story so much! * huggles * ^-^