InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Abandonment ❯ Abandonment ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: Inuyasha is owned by Rumiko Takahashi and Viz, not by me.

 

It had been a week. Only seven days. Yet it felt like a lifetime.

 

Inuyasha had gone to Kikyo. The Shinidamachu had flown over the forest, and he had taken off without a backward glance. Her heart had broken a little bit more.

 

He'd come back a day later, to give the news. He hadn't even told her. Miroku had relayed the message.

 

Inuyasha says he will be joining Kikyo.

 

Kagome stared up at the sky. The blue, cloudless sky, and the cool, crisp air that showed it was spring, and the world was coming alive again. Flowers were opening, birds singing, and there was a wedding coming up in the village.

 

But her heart felt dead. She hadn't reacted when she'd gotten the news. It was expected. With Naraku gone, Inuyasha had fulfilled his vengeance, and had no reason to remain in the world of the living.

 

Kagome silently rose from the grass that overlooked the fields of rice. The day was beautiful, as had the day before, and the day before that. Everything was beautiful and perfect.

 

Sango and Miroku had gone as well. The taijiya village was in need of repair, and knowing the newly married couple they would be filling it with children soon enough. Shippo had gone with them, wanting to play with children who would not be afraid of him or in awe. They had offered to let Kagome come along, but she had kindly refused. She didn't think she could bear to watch them grow old together in love and happiness, surrounded by their children, while she was painfully alone.

 

Had she been able to, she would have fled through the well. But, upon the completion of the Shikon no Tama it had mysteriously vanished, and the well had closed. She had tried jumping down it for at least an hour before giving up and trudging miserably back to the village, too shocked to cry.

 

Now, with Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and even Kirara gone, Kagome was left trying to learn the miko's craft from the aging Kaede, so that she might take over for the dying woman. It was not a particularly happy job, but it was a place where Kagome could succeed. It also meant she wouldn't be married off to one of the young, boring village men. She found certain comfort in that. She didn't want any man to be left with a shell of a woman, for she had given all her heart to Inuyasha, who never gave anything in return.

 

Kaede looked up wearily when Kagome re-entered the hut.

 

“I have the herbs, Kaede-baa-chan.”

 

“Good child. Prepare them and then if you could make the evening meal…?”

 

“I'd be glad to.”

 

She fell into the easy routine of smoothing the herbs and adding them to already boiling water. She watched from the corner of her vision how Kaede weakly lay down on the wooden floor, knowing that her old bones were giving her grief. She did not have long to live.

 

Kagome fought back the sting of tears. When she was fifteen they had come easily, back when she was a naïve girl. Now, at the age of nineteen, it felt as though adulthood had been forced upon her, and she greeted it with a dulled regret. Nothing really mattered anymore, anyways. She was alone in her fight; no one would save her.

 

She worked in silence, trying to ignore the sounds of weak pain from the other woman. If she listened to closely she would start crying, and that wouldn't do.

 

“Dinner is ready.”

 

In two days Kaede was dead. She seemed at peace, as though simply in deep sleep. Kagome didn't cry at first. She organized the burial of Kaede at the top of the hill, in front of the shrine, and performed the ceremony in a sort of trance. It wasn't until that night when she made a meal for one in the lonely hut that she cried. It felt as though a dam broke. She sobbed, for Kaede, her family, her loneliness and her lost battle.

 

The days turned into weeks, and the month anniversary of her death came and went. Kagome was indifferent to it all.

 

Her happiest moment was when Shippo came on Kirara to visit. Those two days had been her happiest, when she felt the most alive. It was the first time she smiled in a long time. When he disappeared over the horizon on the neko youkai her smile slipped and her face fell. She retreated alone to her lonely hut, skipped the solitary meal and went to bed alone.

 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

 

The crickets chirped and the soft sound of wind blowing through the trees was a calming sound for the village. It indicated a peace that had not been theirs since before the reappearance of the Shikon no Tama. With it gone the youkai had found other places to roam.

 

A solitary hanyou made his way to the place he had not been for months. He followed the old trail to the Goshinboku, and then down to the old well. He knelt by it; his arms folded over the lip and sighed. He remained there until sunset.

 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

 

Kagome made her way to her hut, at the base of the stairs, leading to the shrine. She sighed, contemplating whether to go in and eat alone, or go up and pray for the spirit of Kaede.

 

The prospect of another presence won out, and she hiked up the red hakama to trudge wearily up the stairs.

 

The shrine was as untouched as it had always been, except for a new offering of fresh summer flowers. Kagome knelt and bent her head before the altar.

 

A sense of a long forgotten aura made her turn in shock, and she focused her powers on the Goshinboku, which sung a melancholy tune of forgetfulness and welcome. The other, slightly brighter aura was one she had not felt for months. She considered brushing against it to see if it really was him, then shook her head. He was probably just passing through, or maybe she was just delusional. There was no point in a confrontation.

 

She silently went down the stairs and entered her hut, hoping to forget the presence by the Goshinboku.

 

Kagome sighed. She would have though that after all this time he wouldn't affect her anymore. Her heart of ice could not melt with a simple touch of the memory of flames. Especially when there was nothing to melt.

 

She gave up on dinner and settled for watching the sunset through the door. The flames lit up the sky in beautiful colors, and the dusk chirping and rustling slowly settled, until she could not see outside.

 

Kagome forcibly ignored the aura and lay down on the wooden floor.

 

A sharp rustle just outside caught her attention and she sat up quickly. Her bow and arrows were next to her and she wasted no time grabbing them. She crept for the door, drawing an arrow and placing it on the string. She used the tip of the bow to inch the mat aside. When nothing made any noise, she took her chances and darted outside.

 

Nothing. She shook her head. Her mind was playing tricks on her. That was the only explanation.

 

Kagome was about to return to bed when she had an eerie feeling that someone was at the shrine. Knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep if she didn't check it out, she held the arrow at the ready and quietly made her way up the stairs.

 

Her heart stopped when she reached the top of the stairs.

 

His back was to her. Black hair hung down to the ground, brushing the dirt as he knelt before the altar. From what she could tell his head was bent. Even in the deep darkness of the new moon she could make out the dark red of his haori. The haori hung looser, as though it had less to cover. He was slumped over slightly, tired of bearing the heavy weight of his own body.

 

Kagome stood there in shock. She couldn't walk away, but she knew she shouldn't stay.

 

“I came to pray for her.” She almost missed the soft words.

 

“Uh…oh.” She muttered.

 

He slowly turned, and she knew her heart skipped a beat when she saw the familiar features, the same violet eyes. He remained kneeling, which she did not understand. If he planned on justifying being near her after making her officially second, he would want the added advantage of his height and heavier build, which he gave up by staying kneeling on the ground before the altar.

 

“Kagome…” he whispered softly. She shook her head wearily.

 

“I am called Miko-sama by those I don't know. Please address me as such.”

 

The look on his face almost made her give in. The shock and then pain that filled it almost made her beg him to accept her. She held firm, however, and even mustered a cold, superior look.

 

Inuyasha sighed, his head drooping. He looked incredibly lost and hurt at that moment, and she couldn't look into his eyes when he looked back up at her.

 

“Miko-sama,” he mumbled, “may I have the safety of one night of protection? I shall go in the morning.”

 

Kagome wanted to say no. She wanted to call him all the kinds of things he'd called her when she had been weak, wanted to spit in his face for hurting her, for breaking her. But when she looked at this meek, similarly broken Inuyasha, all her fire for revenge faded, and she nodded. She would not, could not, leave him alone on his human night. As much as he hurt her, she would not break that trust.

 

The stairs felt incredibly long with Inuyasha's steps following her own. She entered her hut, but didn't hold the mat open for him. She left her sandals on the floor and stepped up onto the raised wooden floor. She sat with her back to him, and listened to him settle by the doorway.

 

Kagome lay stiff for the longest time. Her mind remained locked on the now human man who sat at the doorway to the hut. The uncomfortable silence stretched out, until the most amusing sound echoed between them.

 

A giggle erupted from Kagome's mouth before she could stop it.

 

“Hungry?” she asked, trying to not laugh in his face.

 

When she looked up into his eyes she almost melted at the slightly relieved look in his eyes.

 

“I haven't eaten anything good in a while. I miss your cooking.”

 

Kagome rose, filled a pot with water and set it down next to the unlit fire pit. She began to gather necessary materials, but Inuyasha was quicker. He took the tools from her hands, causing a shot of warmth when his calloused fingers brushed her hands. He made a fire in no time, and she began preparing food while the water boiled.

 

After adding the ingredients they sat, more or less side-by-side, watching the stew cook.

 

The silence that stretched between them this time was more comfortable and natural, reminiscent of the many nights they had spent around a campfire in the quiet. Neither of them seemed willing to break the tentative truce.

 

“Miko-sama.” Kagome closed her eyes briefly in pain. She already regretted that comment. He continued, softly and somewhat tentatively.

 

“In case you wanted to know, she- she is gone. Her body was weak, and she left without saying anything. Just…gone.” His voice cracked in the middle.

 

Kagome felt so much like she should have been satisfied, or that her revenge was fulfilled. But her heart seemed to ache a little more when she saw the misery in Inuyasha. He may not have been hers, he may have abandoned her, but she still wanted to see him happy.

 

Delicately, she reached for him, and he came, letting her take him into her arms. He buried his nose in her shoulder, and she was sure she felt wetness seep into the thick cloth. She wrapped her arms around him, letting her sleeves drape over him, covering his black hair and shielding him. She confirmed her earlier observation: he was thinner and gaunter than before. She stroked his slightly unkempt black hair, offering the warmth of an embrace.

 

He made no noise, but she felt his shaking, the release of pure emotion and grief into her. She stroked his hair gently, letting him release.

 

After a little while, the water was visibly boiling and Kagome gently nudged him. He let her go, and she felt his eyes on her back as she started spooning out stew. He took his bowl in silence, eating quietly. She drank deeply, gasping slightly when the hot stew scalded her tongue.

 

After eating he banked the fire while she cleaned up the dishes. It was an easy routine to fall into, reminiscent of their former days. When done she didn't want to face a long night of uncomfortable silence between them, but she didn't want to leave him the only one awake on his human night. She settled for a compromise, gathering a robe she had been mending and taking it back to her sleeping place, focusing her attention on it.

 

“You don't have to stay awake for me. You probably have a lot of work to do in the morning.”

 

Kagome shook her head gently. “I promised you protection. I won't leave you alone.” She said quietly.

 

She looked up just in time to catch the strange look he gave her. His eyes softened visibly, and he turned to the side to avoid her burning gaze.

 

“You have…changed.” He commented. She sighed heavily.

 

“So have you.”

 

Silence reigned again for a moment, before Inuyasha spoke again.

 

“I-I know it's too late, and not worth it.” He mumbled. “But I-I…I'm sorry, Kagome.”

 

Kagome closed her eyes and shook her head.

 

“There is nothing to be sorry for,” she said. “You had no obligation to me after the Shikon no Tama was destroyed, but you did to Kikyo. You haven't done anything wrong. Don't be sorry.”

 

Inuyasha looked away. “Yes, but…”

 

Kagome shook her head, her voice growing louder. “No buts. I have no regrets, and you'll be gone in the morning.”

 

Inuyasha was taken aback, but then he lowered his head in defeat.

 

All night they sat like that, Inuyasha leaning against the wall by the door, and Kagome repairing one of her kimono. When light finally appeared over the mountain, bringing color to the village, Kagome stood and left the hut. It was not quite dawn, but she wanted to gather herbs, and get away from Inuyasha.

 

Kagome dropped to her knees in the forest at the base of Goshinboku. She leaned against it, letting her eyes close and her shoulders droop in fatigue.

 

I'll go back later, when the sun is up. He'll be hanyou and gone, and I'll never have to think of him again.

 

Remember last night, Kagome? He was so lonely, so sad, so…broken. And you, making him call you `miko-sama.' Have you no decency?

 

He…betrayed me! Didn't say anything to me before leaving me for Kikyo. It serves him right that she left without saying anything!

 

That's not what you were saying when he tried to apologize.

 

Kagome began pulling grass up by the stem and tearing it into pieces, then releasing them on the light breeze.

 

Where will he go, do you think? Hanyou don't have anywhere to belong.

 

I don't care.

 

You don't? Then why did you let him stay the night?

 

He was human. Besides, he came to say good-bye to Kaede, and just wanted to be safe for his weakest time. But, he'll be gone, and I'll never see him again. Simple.

 

Remember, when you first met him? A coarse, rude, arrogant hanyou who trusted no one; despised people and was despised? He changed so much since then. Remember when he laid his head on your lap, when he seemed like he walked the line of death? The first time he told you that you smelled good, and…

 

And he fell asleep on my lap.

 

Don't forget when he told you he wanted you around him, and when he told you that he wasn't worth shit without you around. All those times he saved you and talked about things.

 

He learned to trust, didn't he? His eyes, they're softer now. How did I not notice…?

 

Would you be so cruel as to take away all that he trusted? He trusted you to take care of him, as his friend, at the very least. He looks like he could use taking care of.

 

He's changed. I've changed. Besides, he broke my trust, left me alone.

 

So the cycle of revenge continues, until all that is left are tears and empty, cold hearts.

 

Kagome didn't know how to respond to that, so she kept silent, adding to the pile of scraps of grass gathering around her.

 

What if, per say, he came with the lingering hope that you might care for him? Give him the friendship, or even the trust, that he has always gotten from you? Would you really leave him, the same way Kikyo did?

 

Kagome's eyes widened. I am not Kikyo. I will not sink to her level.

 

Did you not notice him, the way he held himself? He was tired, haggard, like he was tired of life. You think he will go out into the world with only scorn and hatred as companions?

 

Kagome dropped the blade of grass she had in her hands. He wouldn't give up. That isn't the Inuyasha I knew.

 

He wasn't the Inuyasha you knew.

 

Jumping to her feet, Kagome flew in the light of the false dawn to her hut.

 

I don't trust him, and I know he doesn't love me; but I will not let him give up.

 

She reached the village right as he was leaving it. Hair still black, he turned slowly towards her, sensing that she was running back because of him.

 

“Inuyasha!” She stopped in front of him, panting. He waited, his eyes dark and guarded.

 

“Where will you go?” she asked breathlessly.

 

His eyes seemed to darken further, and his stance slumped. He shrugged and turned away.

 

“A-ano.” She cut in. He stopped and half turned back towards her, though his black hair hid his face.

 

“We're, uh, low on meat. I'm too busy to hunt anything, and everyone else is too busy with the rice, and they aren't very good at it anyways…”

 

When she looked up the sun peeked over the mountains, and he changed into the hanyou shape that she was most familiar with. He fully turned to look at her, his now amber eyes sorrowful, but with a new glint to them.

 

“And…and we're building a new storage shed for the rice, and sometimes wolves come by, and…it's a lot to handle.” She finished lamely.

 

He watched her with more hope in his gaze. She gulped at his intense stare.

 

“So, uh, if you want to stay for a little while, we could use your help.”

 

He nodded. “Thank you, Miko-sama.”

 

She bit her lip. “Inuyasha…”

 

He brought his eyes to hers. She gently reached up and took one cheek in her palm.

 

“I didn't mean it. When I said that.” She mumbled.

 

A ghost of a smile appeared on his face; and he covered her hand with his.

 

“I understand, Kagome.”

 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

 

“The harvest is over, finally.”

 

Inuyasha smiled at the woman as she plopped down on the grass next to him. She lay down and yawned widely.

 

Kagome had always been a virtual kami-sama to the villagers, and though she originally avoided Inuyasha, and he her, the need for companionship overrode their fears and they ended up spending more and more time together. Inuyasha never spoke of Kikyo, and she never spoke of his abandonment, but they both acknowledged that they were friends.

 

When Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Kirara all arrived to visit Kagome, they were shocked to discovered Inuyasha living in the village as well.

 

At first he hung back, until Kagome went out and dragged him in to meet them. The uncomfortable silence stretched out in the hut until Shippo ran over and launched into Inuyasha's chest, much to everyone's surprise. Kirara curled up in his lap and started purring, and after that it felt just like the old days.

 

At one point Miroku even succeeded in making Inuyasha chase him around for making a deliberate lecherous comment about Kagome. Sango and Kagome, who had both been in on the plan from the beginning, laughed as Miroku got clobbered by Inuyasha.

 

In many ways both Kagome and Inuyasha were sad to see them leave.

 

Fall brought with it the beauty of colorful leaves and cooler air, but also the additional work that came with preparing for a long winter.

 

Kagome knew that when she'd asked him to stay for a little while she had implied only the summer, but she shocked both herself and him when she asked him to get wood for the hut for the winter. That was when they both knew she meant for him to stay.

 

There had been so much to do and so many complications in their relationship that Kagome was surprised to wake one morning to find the ground blanketed in snow. Inuyasha had even come inside from his normal perch on the roof beam to get out of the snow.

 

Kagome felt her duties lessening as the bad weather wore on. The village settled in for the cold season, and all she was called out for were the occasional blessings or bad sickness. It left her lots of time alone in the hut with Inuyasha.

 

He had offered to move to one of the storage sheds, to guard it and give her privacy, but she somehow managed to convince him to stay with a threat of her loneliness.

 

It wasn't until what must have been January that the cold really got bad. The snow froze over, making it almost impossible to get out of the hut. Inuyasha ended up getting additional firewood and distributing it to the various huts, as he was one of the few who could move around without getting stuck or sick.

 

Unfortunately, the hut they resided in was not warm at all. Kagome refused to let the fire burn all night, as Inuyasha didn't need it and it was a waste of precious fuel. One morning she woke so cold that she couldn't move from the floor. Before she could say anything Inuyasha was beside her, wrapping her in his haori and holding her into his warm chest.

 

She remained like that for at least a day, though she drifted in and out of consciousness for most of it. She was amazed that she didn't catch anything from her brush with the cold weather.

 

The following night there was a short, uncomfortable exchange, which resulted in Inuyasha wrapping her in his arms under the blanket to keep her warm.

 

Kagome wearily opened her eyes looking around the dark chamber. It was so cold that the ache bit into her limbs, and she tried to snuggle into Inuyasha more. He shifted in his sleep and somehow enveloped her in more of his body warmth.

 

She didn't think of it as sleeping with him. It was two friends keeping each other from freezing to death. When the weather warmed up he would return to the roof and that would be that.

 

Slowly, very slowly, the sky lightened and she worked herself out of his embrace and to the door. She sighed when she saw the dark clouds ominously moving closer.

 

“How is the weather?”

 

She turned back to him and gave a half-hearted smile. “Not cleared up yet.”

 

He sighed. The entire week had been one blizzard after another. Kagome knew that Inuyasha was going stir-crazy being confined in the hut.

 

“Come back to bed, Kagome. It's still cold out.”

 

She smiled at his concern. He had also been given reason to worry when she had her brush with freezing weather. It seemed as though Inuyasha was determined to protect her, as one of his friends and the only one he really talked to and trusted in the village.

 

“It's pretty outside, you know. Come see.”

 

Inuyasha grumbled, but rose and went to accompany her at the door.

 

“I think most of the problem with our cold is coming from not having a proper door.” He said finally. Kagome cocked her head as she mulled it over, and nodded.

 

“That makes sense. But we can't do anything about it until spring.”

 

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and dragged her away from the door. “You're cold.” He grumbled.

 

She giggled. “I could make a warm breakfast. That'd warm us both up.” He grumbled more, but allowed it.

 

Kagome frowned when she looked at the state of the rice. She checked the rest of the food supplies, and her frown deepened. They still had at least a month of winter to go, and early spring still didn't yield enough food.

 

“What's wrong?”

 

Kagome turned and offered her best smile to Inuyasha. He frowned, and went over to look at what she was looking at. He sighed as well.

 

“You took less food than the other huts did, so they won't be pressed. I can go get more meat for everyone. That will make the other supplies last longer.” He paused. “I won't take any more food from you. I can live off other stuff.”

 

Kagome sighed. “There will still be hunger come spring.”

 

Inuyasha frowned wearily. “I need to get more firewood for the village.”

 

He draped the blanket around Kagome and started a small fire. “Stay warm.” He mumbled, and made for the doorway.

 

“You're really sweet, you know?”

 

He grumbled good-naturedly and exited.

 

As Kagome predicted, food ran short in the spring. Meager soup became common ration, often stapled with meat that Inuyasha brought down. If it weren't for that addition there would have been starvation.

 

As soon as the snow melted off Inuyasha began working on repairing the open doorway problem. He first created a solid wooden block that he fitted against Kagome's open doorway. They discovered immediately that this made it difficult to get in and out. His second try involved knocking out another section of the wall and creating two sliding doors.

 

Kagome soon took many breaks from her miko duties to use an amount of purchased cloth from a traveling merchant to create a cloth barrier to add to some of the wooden frames Inuyasha began creating. One hut in the village had a large family in it, and when the final shoji screens were done they fitted them in the hut, creating two rooms and additional privacy.

 

It took Inuyasha most of the spring to convert all the hanging bamboo mats to the more solid wooden sliding doors.

 

The next problem to come up was the lack of airflow into the huts. This became more of an issue as the weather became warmer.

 

Several of the villagers began helping to cut windows into the huts. Now that they were in a lull in the rice season, it became easier to get more repair work done.

 

The first harvest was greeted with enthusiasm, especially since it meant more food for the villagers.

 

A festival was planned for the end of the harvest work, which many looked forward to with enthusiasm.

 

Kagome greatly missed Inuyasha's presence at night. As she had suspected he had left for the roof as soon as the spring rains brought warmer temperatures to the village. She could still feel his aura atop the roof, but it wasn't the same as having his warmth right next to her.

 

Of course it was warm without him, but she missed him. She was surprised by her neediness. She knew she still loved him. Love was such a complicated emotion. Even though she had basically given him up to another woman, it was not so easy to tell her heart to give up.

 

“Inuyasha?” the hanyou turned and looked up at the miko in question, as he put down a load of firewood at the side of the hut.

 

“Is there…uh…anything you want for dinner tonight?”

 

Kagome felt like a schoolgirl with a crush around him again.

 

“Uh, that soup you made last night was good.” He said, and she swore he looked right at her blushing cheeks. Much to her surprise his cheeks tinted pink, and he looked away.

 

She looked down, feeling her cheeks burning up. A slightly happy, bubbly feeling rose in her chest and threatened to choke her. The feeling was so fragile, so fleeting, that she daren't try to grasp it to hard.

 

Unfortunately, even the knowledge of the fragility of her happiness didn't stop her from dreaming that someday she would be happy, really happy. Her doubts easily consumed her newfound pleasure.

 

Kikyo. Always Kikyo.

 

Kagome stirred the soup glumly. Of course, he had gone to Kikyo without a word to her, and while he had apologized, it was all she needed to truly know where his affections laid.

 

The pain pounded dully in her chest, where her heart should have been. There were little bits where the village, her friends, and even her far-away family rested, but the largest hole was where she had given her heart to Inuyasha. The empty longing consumed her, until nothing was left.

 

She continued stirring mechanically, noting half-heartedly that the smell rising from the simmering pot was excellent, and the vegetables looked particularly good. There was nothing for it; she simply had no desire to eat.

 

Kagome shook herself and focused on the floor. Damn, I sound like a character from a little girl's manga. I'm not going to make Inuyasha leave, for revenge, and I'm also not going to pathetically beg for his affections to whatever end. We are friends, and that is that. No point in wallowing in self-pity.

 

She scooped two bowls and handed one to Inuyasha, her eyes averted, the blush long since gone away from the stark realization that she had been a pathetic schoolgirl.

 

“Kagome? Are you okay?” She smiled at him, and nodded cheerily. As soon as her gaze dropped the cheeriness faded and she set down her bowl. Ignoring Inuyasha, she pulled on her shoes and went out to do one more round of the village before the sunset.

 

“Kagome!”

 

She stopped, just on the outskirts, and turned to look at the hanyou who was chasing after her. He stopped a good distance away, enough that they had comfort space, but close enough that no one in the nearby huts would overhear.

 

“Why are you upset?”

 

She smiled softly. “It's not because of you.”

 

He lowered his gaze, but not before she saw the pain in his eyes.

 

“It is.” He said wearily. His eyes came up to meet hers, and they were strangely distant.

 

“I've been thinking.” He commented. “About your situation, and…and how much I hurt you when I left.” He turned away, shame evident in his features.

 

“I won't say that I really wanted you all along, and I just went to Kikyo because I was forced. I-I won't lead you along like that. I'm really selfish, you know?”

 

Kagome was watching him, her face softened. He looked up, and jerked away.

 

“Damn it, I don't need your pity! I'm an asshole, and don't even deserve to be comforted…much less by you.” He added softly.

 

Kagome pursed her lips and went to him, ignoring his surprised look and attempts to ward her off. She stopped right in front of him, expression set.

 

“I'm not going to leave you alone, Inuyasha. You were alone most of your life, and I'm not going to make you alone again on a whim. Remember,” she looked away, almost shyly. “You remember when you made me promise to stay with you? I won't break that promise.”

 

He sighed. “Kagome…”

 

She shook her head firmly. “The question is: are you going to chicken out, and leave me alone?”

 

He looked up, startled. “Hells no, bitch!” he yelled, a spark of the old, confident him. She smiled at him.

 

Inuyasha sighed, and gently dragged her into an embrace. She relaxed against him, closing her eyes and leaning most of her body weight against him.

 

After a few seconds of silence he spoke softly, breaking the silence.

 

“I came to tell you something.”

 

“Mmm?”

 

“Well, I know I went to Kikyo, but…well…”

 

Kagome opened her eyes and turned in his grip to look up into his face.

 

“It doesn't mean that I felt nothing…well…for you.” Noting her inquisitive stare, he blushed again and looked to a side.

 

“I'm not saying I want us to become immediate mates. I just…wanted you to know that.”

 

“You don't want us to become mates?”

 

He blushed deeper. “No! I-I just…I don't want you to think I'm doing this to get into your kimono.” He muttered quickly.

 

Kagome turned away, looking off in the same direction he was. “You know that I…care about you?”

 

He nodded solemnly. “I don't want you to be unhappy, Kagome. I don't want you to be unloved.” He blushed heavily.

 

She chuckled at his statement. “You really do deserve love, Inuyasha. Your mother…she had a good reason to love you.”

 

He dropped his head onto hers, effectively pulling her closer.

 

“You remind me of her.” He said softly.

 

They stood in silence, watching the shadows grow and dark slowly creep around them.

 

Inuyasha finally broke the comfortable silence.

 

“Kagome, you know that I'm a dumb hanyou, and a pathetic excuse for a man or a youkai, but…” he trailed off. Kagome waited patiently for him to finish.

 

“Would you…allow me to try to give you the love you deserve?”

 

Kagome could have jumped for joy. Her heart felt healed almost instantly, after the months and months of brokenness.

 

“Only,” she said, her voice unable to contain her joy, “if you allow me to try and love you the way you deserve.”

 

“Thank you, Kagome.”

 

She smiled at him, certain that tears were running down her cheeks and not caring, and then jumped up onto him, wrapping her legs around his waist and hugging him as tightly as she could.

 

Inuyasha smiled happily, burying his nose into her neck, incredibly happy that he managed to make Kagome happy after all the time he had been hurting her. He only hoped that he could make recompense for his earlier abandonment by filling their time together with love and happiness.