InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Absolution: The Collected Chronicles of Miroku and Sango ❯ I Remember ( Chapter 11 )

Miroku entered his dimly lit living room. The words of the song `So Sick' flowed around him drawing him into the room. He had listened to this song so many times, trying to banish thoughts of Kagome from his mind when their relationship ended. He thought he was over all this grief but it felt like everything was starting all over again. Watching the quiet girl on the couch, he couldn't help but wonder where did they go from here.

 

Sango sat on the couch, her eyes closed. She was aware of Miroku's presence but she chose to ignore him and instead let the meaning of the music surge through her.

 

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

 

 

“The story of your life?”

 

Sango opened her dark eyes. Miroku stood just beyond the edge of the light, his eyes dark and unreadable. His hair was slick from his face, still damp from the impromptu shower. When Sango discovered the cd in his collection, somehow she instantly knew, this was the one track Miroku listened to over and over again. Patting the seat beside her, Sango invited Miroku to sit next to her.

 

Miroku gave a gentle half-smile. “In many ways, yes.”

 

Taking the seat beside Sango, suddenly, Miroku was nervous. They sat in silence as the song continued to play. As it ended, Miroku turned to see Sango with tears in her eyes. The only thing he could think to do was pull her close. Miroku felt his tension ease as he felt Sango relax against him. After a moment, Sango scrubbed her face with her hands and sat back up. Mumbling, she offered an apology.

 

“I'm sorry. I'm afraid it brought up some things for me, too.”

 

Miroku nodded. “What can I do to make things better between us?”

 

Sango sighed as the next song began to say. Giving a slight laugh, she turned to Miroku.

 

“What is this, the all depression mix on your cd player? You would have the most angsty songs playing”

 

Miroku smiled. “It served a purpose at the time. You haven't answered my question.”

 

Sango sighed again. She knew what she had to say wasn't going to be easy but it was now or never.

 

“When we first met, I told you when you stop seeing ghosts give me a call. I vowed a long time ago not to deal with anyone who hadn't dealt with their own past. I know I can't ask you to turn it off but at the same time, damn, why am I in the middle of something I wanted no part of in the first place?”

 

Miroku hung his head. “It was never my intention to have you in the middle of all of this.”

 

Reaching over to touch his cheek, Sango lifted his face. “I know but here we are.”

 

Looking into Sango's deep chocolate eyes, Miroku realized he'd do anything to make her pain go away.

 

“I don't know how to make you understand my feelings about the whole thing.”

 

Sango's face became a mask for a moment. “Let me tell you a story.”

 

Standing, Sango began pacing. No one she knew since moving to Tokyo knew the story of how she came to be in the city in the first place.

 

“I was in love. We were to be married. What I didn't know that he had never gotten over his ex. I met him after they had been broken up for well over a year. She dumped him and moved away to be with her new love.”

 

Sango heard Miroku gasp. Refusing to look at him, she continued her story.

 

“Six months before the wedding, she came back to town, unbeknownst to me. All the time we were planning and preparing for our life together, he began to see her again. First as friends, I don't know when it changed.”

 

Taking a deep breath, Sango swallowed hard before continuing.

 

“A week before the wedding, he came to me. He loved me but he wasn't in love with me anymore. She was back and he felt like he had to give their relationship a chance. He needed to see what could it be.”

 

Sango snorted. “Surely I could understand that, he said. He left it to me to notify everyone that the wedding was cancelled. I've never been so hurt, so humiliated in my life. Do you understand why I can't play this game with you? I knew when you called the first time, you hadn't reconciled your past but I wanted to get to know you anyway.”

 

Sitting down with a plop beside Miroku, Sango continued. “Now I've broken my own vow and on top of everything, I've gone and done the one thing I wish I hadn't done.”

 

Placing her head in her hands, Sango willed herself not to cry. When Miroku touched her arm, Sango flinched away. After all the kick-ass theatrics of earlier, crying would do no good. Sango was, to some extent, glad when Miroku ignored her and pulled her to his chest. Something about being there just felt so right to her, even as she tried to resist the temptation of being too comfortable. After a few moments composing herself, Sango spoke softly.

 

“You see, I understand, better than you know. The difference is I had to confront my worse pain and move on. You refuse to do so. Everything is moving on around you, Miroku, yet you are stuck in that one moment in time.”

 

Still holding Sango, Miroku could feel the pain building in his heart.

 

“I tried, but it hurts too much.”

 

Sango turned so she could look into Miroku's eyes. They were swirling different shades of blue and she could see the pain shimmering on the surface of them.

 

“Sweetie, it's time. The three of you are trapped in this cycle of guilt, hurt and rage. All of you will be destroyed unless one of you is willing to walk away. Miroku, let it be you.”

 

They sat in silence on the couch as the stereo continued playing selections. Sango wasn't sure how much time had passed before Miroku broke the silence.

 

“For so long my life revolved around them. She was my love. He was my best friend. No, he was more than that. He was my brother. We grew up together. I would have laid down my life for him. I don't even know if how I feel is wrapped up in how Kagome treated me or how Inuyasha treated me. All I know is while what Kagome did hurt, the fact that the betrayal was with Inuyasha cut me to my heart.”

 

Sango tightened her hold on Miroku as he spoke. She somehow knew that he was admitting things to her that he hadn't even admitted to himself. Sango knew that Miroku had to cut through all of the painful scars and remove the infection before he could begin to heal. After stopping for a few moments, Miroku began to speak again.

 

“I thought leaving would solve my problems. Instead, it just seems everything just imploded. Sango, I just want this to be over. I'm so ready to have my life back. I know I couldn't have anything to do with them again but I'm not going to lie, I miss my friend. I think by not dealing with him, I just avoided the inevitable end of our friendship. I could never face him as friend. I look at him and all I see is deceit. I could never trust him again.”

 

Miroku sighed into Sango's hair. “Stay with me tonight, Sango.”

 

As Sango pulled back and gave Miroku a searing glare, he hurriedly clarified.

 

“I didn't mean anything hentai. I just rather not be by myself tonight.”

Sango thought about it for a moment.

 

“Alright, Miroku but at the first sign of you being a lecher, I'm leaving!”

 

Miroku smiled. It was an innocent, boyish smile that didn't fool Sango in the least.

 

“For you, Sango dearest, anything.”