InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Absolution ❯ The Falling of an Epiphany ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Absolution

He hadn't meant to fall in love, but suddenly she was dead and he couldn't deny it anymore. No she wasn't intending on forgiving him, it just… kind of happened.

I-The Falling of an Epiphany

Inuyasha had been having a good dream, a really good dream, and it was one of those dreams that one just couldn't tear himself from it, it was too good, and to real…it had been real. It was one of those dreams where one's mind shows him the most delightful things during slumber.

This, when Rin's stupid morning clock device absolutely destroyed his hearing, by ringing so loud.

At breakfast when he yelled with her, his ears were still hurting. Sesshomaru slept right next to her, how could he bear it? A long and somewhat suffering look told him things he'd listened to millions of times. Sacrifice Inuyasha, for the most treasured thing they are worth it.

Yes he knew it backwards, all the quotes his brother always repeated time after time with that almost concerned gaze looming over him, in such similar eyes, and yet so different ones, but damn it he could even spell it backwards- yes, that was how much Sesshomaru said it. And the worst? Those wore one of the very few things the bastard said. Always so quiet and… it was like he was plotting the whole time.

"I don't care you stupid brat, just turn that shit off! Why do you even work? You don't need to!"

Rin narrowed dark eyes on him, and then clapped her chopsticks murderously at him.

"Look shithead, I work because I want to, normal people like to feel useful once in a while… guess you wouldn't know what I'm talking abou-"

"Not really. I am not normal" the youngest of demon heritage snarled as he clamped down his napkin against the table and grew closer to her, brows furrowed and lips thinned. That damned bitch! Couldn't Sesshomaru keep her in her place? An arrogant smirk stretched his lips "I am most amazing, thank you!"

"You're a little parasite that's what you…"

"Sesshomaru keep your bitch in her pla…"

"Enough! Both of you! Behave!" Sesshomaru wasn't yelling or shouting, but his tone commanded it for both of them to shut up. He was alpha and he'd be respected.

Before the shujin of the mansion could say anything else, his mate huffed and grabbing down her elegant bag, Rin went to work in a bad mood.

Sesshomaru bestowed ferocious eyes upon him.

But before he could speak Inuyasha waved his clawed hand at his older brother and ate the rest of his miso.

"Yeah yeah, I already know… impudent whelp, idiot half-breed! Just keep it down, your woman's stupid alarm clock made my ears bleed."

"Inuyasha, Do you not know that I sleep next to Rin?"

The youngest flicked an ear towards his brother and then unglued his golden eyes from the rice to meet his similar. He looked positively shocked.

"You better do, I won't have no child of her, wear my name, if they ain't yours!"

Sesshomaru, used to his brother antics, merely rolled his eyes.

"I do sleep next to her and to that infernal device…"

"My thoughts exactly…"

"And yet I tolerate it."

The youngest, snorted and looked at his brothers in his all too young casualty-that matched his, his age of twenty one year old.

"You're a pansy."

To his lack of fortune Sesshomaru actually smiled. And he'd only seen him smile, or rather pull his lips up, when things in company were really good, when he'd get laid ( and it had to have been an amazing fuck) or when one of his adversaries died, preferably at his claws.

"You, pup, you'll sooner than you know lose what you treasure."

"I treasure no one!" He replied immediately, stiff, in reaction to his brother demeanor.

"Sometimes when you lose an important thing, you go and buy yourself a new one, just the same as the one you lost. Then you find the one you'd lost but you still keep the new one, because its new, prettier, shinier...Over the time you didn't have the thing you'd lost, you attached yourself to what you went to buy to replace the lost one. Sooner or later you'll have to choose. I just have a feeling it'll be sooner than you know."

As his brother spoke he couldn't help but notice his somewhat amused expression, but still intense gaze, as he sat at the head of the long table where they ate every meal. His amber eyes narrowed and he rasped.

"Yeah? And what's the choice?"

He played along and didn't pretend he didn't know what his sibling was talking about. Every-fucking-body in the whole fucking world knew. The dream he was having before that bitch of an alarm clock woke him, had taken him to three nights ago and he again remembered those luscious curves, every crevice of her velvet heaven, that he'd decorated, every feature of her pleasure twisted face, every twirl of her sweaty locks, every sound of her lust- of her love.

He was the one who felt nothing but lust for Kagome.

Sesshomaru didn't reply, and brash he stomped out of the door furious with that briefing in the morning updating about his life and summarizing it so well. Kami-sama sometimes he really hated Sesshomaru. Why didn't he mind his own business?!

Entering in his BMW's with a scowl, his tires screeched as he pulled out of the garage and rammed the road away towards college. The forest and the sky, then the people and the colors, they all became a big blur, as stepped down on the pedal, his foot angry and heavy

As he parked his car, Sesshomaru's words along with the drumming ring of that device still hung on his head. He knew the bastard wasn't right. But for him should be no hard choice, he was just fucking around for a while longer- quite literally. His choice would always be his first love, the one he should love, the one he was sure he had been born to love. Although their lack of relation beyond appearances never surprised him as much as it did others, he was just happy to be at their side, that she allowed him at her side. Kikyou was the one he loved, the one he cared. The only one.

And with this epiphany on his brain, completely enlightened about his feelings and choices he got out of the car and , returning some greetings and darting some seductive glances around campus, started walking towards his friends spotting Sango, Miroku and Bankotsu and… Kouga?! KOUGA?! Fucking KOUGA?! What was he doing there?! Where was Kagome? It wasn't jealousy he kept telling himself. It wasn't, he repeated. He was just happy she wasn't there, so that he didn't have to see her being all nice and cozy with the damned mangy wolf. Kami, him, he really did hate.

A stretched of his lips again became one of those characteristic cold, arrogant smirks of him. She couldn't probably walk straight after that night. Male pride, filling his lungs, and he wished he hadn't taken a shower to the mangy wolf could smell her on him, all around him, crying like the crazy she was when he was inside her, begging for more, creaming from him.

Squeezing his eyes closed he grimaced as he willed his hardening length, down. Yes it was good she wasn't there. Satisfaction was just about to ebb away to curiosity, when he found Sango in his face.

She smelled of tears, and she was lacking the habitual sardonic demeanor that was Sango. She looked positively desperate, and she was looking at him as if he was her last hope. His eyes darted around her head to find Miroku's troubled eyes falling to the ground when he tried to hold their gazes together. Bankotsu was musing, but his face long and hard. Kouga was so red in fury, his fists clenching so hard blood dripped down the valley of white knuckles.

"Have you seen Kagome?"

"What? Something you can't tell me, and gotta tell the wench? Why the long faces stupid heads? And why is wolf-shit here? I don't know where the bitch is" He swallowed a lump that had lodged itself in her throat and he didn't even know. Sango's eyes lost the glint of the last hope and she punched him hard on the shoulder - where she could reach, her eyes tearing again.

He and Miroku had known Sango since they're little, now they're dating, but they're best friends. And he'd never seen Sango so desperate and sad except in her father's funeral.

She was going to punch him again when Miroku hugged her from behind, warmed her and welcomed her in his arms, grabbing her vengeful fists. And she broke down crying. Crying so hard she rocked from head to toe with each sob. And the only thing she screamed, when he tried to sooth her too, and help her along with Miroku- who still didn't meet his eye- how they'd done in her father's funeral 4 years ago, was…

"You bastard!"

She and Kagome had grown pretty attached to themselves. Pretty maybe wasn't the term, they're like sisters. As he and Miroku were like brothers. Kagome had moved to Tokyo from Okinawa when her father had died to live with her Grandfather, mother and cat in that shrine near the mori no Inuyasha. That was how they'd met, he'd gone to visit his precious forest and found her there.

And Sango sobbed, she didn't let him touch her, fumbling to get out of Miroku's arm, who seemed as broken as her.

"You bastard! You'll rot in hell." She rasped with a voice that had no more shoud, so much had she bawled already. Then she adopted a very composed and proper demeanor and said slower and lower. "I don't know you"

And she ran away.

Miroku looked at his girlfriend's retreating form and waited for the impending question, the one forming in the lips of an astonished Inu hanyou that now, watched his back, as he wasn't sure what reaction he'd have if he looked at Inuyasha. Would he hate him, like Sango did right now? Would he pity him, because he didn't even comprehended what he truly felt? Would he love him more, as the brothers they were, because he'd be… crushed?

"What the fuck is this about?" the voice was angry. Inuyasha didn't enjoy not knowing what was happening, of course not, they're treating him like he had killed someone. Man he wished Kagome was here, she'd support him, as always, he was sure she would.

Miroku's voice was shallow and hollow as he spoke to a quiet Bankotsu.

"Would you please see to Sango?"

Bankotsu's dark blue eyes, as he nodded solemnly, encountered Miroku's, and then the Inu-hanyou's, probing for some strange knowledge. Then he turned on his heels and walked away just like Sango had gone. Kouga was long gone, somewhere between Sango desperate questioning and her unilateral shouting match.

"Look" Miroku still didn't look at him, but he wasn't about to pry about that, right now he just wanted to know what was going on. "What the hell is going on in here?"

Still not looking at him, Miroku sighed and pocketed his hands, his chest constricting.

"Kagome's missing."

"W-Wha…?"

The revelation was as heavy as a block o concrete in his chest, then he felt dizzy, the world was spinning. Where was he? He didn't even felt like he was in his body anymore. What had he just said? Kag…Kagome? Kagome! ? Before the realization of what Miroku had just spoken settled in, Inuyasha was already hearing it again.

"Kagome's missing since Thursday, She didn't return home, she doesn't pick up her phone… Sango knew you had been…" he swallowed the thickness of his throat as he remembered sweet azure grey eyes the owner, smiling at him and saying

"Sango likes you Miro-kun, I'm sure of it!"

He didn't want, couldn't look at Inuyasha, but he was to quiet… No he'd tell her the rest then look. How would he tell him that, if he was looking him eye to eye? He was afraid for his head and for his friend. and he was courageous for nothing.

"Higurashi ba-san … called Sango this morning. The police found her car …in the Sumida-gawa"

And just like that he felt his epiphany crush so hard into him he felt like he needed to vomit, claws embedded in the wall he heaved his stomach content, his eyes shedding red tears, reflecting the color of his eyes.

He was Youkai, disheveled and eyes glazed over with tears, as he clawed at his chest trying to find what was, that in him kept aching so much, not just merely aching… It was being twisted knotted battered, ripped to shreds,

Tears vomit and the fat drops of his blood fell to the ground in a puddle of misery, and there he saw himself. A monster.

And when Miroku finally turned around he found a broken man, looking at him begging for pity, relief of his sins. Repentance and regret filled his misery stricken face. He sought Absolution. He needed a reassurance, that wouldn't come.

His fault in did, Miroku was still compelled to hug him and cry with him, and so he did. He just didn't dare to say it would be ok. It wouldn't