InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Absolution ❯ Strangelove ( Chapter 2 )

 

Disclaimer: I don't own either Inuyasha or Strangelove, those belong to the amazing, marvelous Depeche Mode- I think I could possibly fit in almost every music of theirs a story of Inuyasha and Kagome. The title of the chapter is Strangelove, because the song was my inspiration. I mean just look at the lyrics!

A/N: It was supposed to be a two-shot but … I still have things to say, and I didn't want to make oversized chapters like the monstrosities in Risaishi. Therefore I think that this two-shot just acquired a three-shot status.

 

 

 

Strangelove

There'll be times
when my crimes
will seem almost unforgivable
I give in to sin
because you have to make this life livable

 

Depeche Mode- `Strangelove'

Sesshomaru frowned down looking at the waking Tokyo that unraveled under his sight.

This time he'd a big problem in hands.

He was older than Inuyasha, and therefore he'd learnt some time ago how to notice family bonds, even if they hadn't emerged and hadn't been done and completed yet- the bond that was to be between his younger brother and the woman-child, Kagome.

That had been what had passed when he'd seen Kagome for the first time in one of the many occasions, Inuyasha had brought her home. He knew his brother previews affair with the race-psycho that was Kikyo, and how she dumped him every time she sporadically realized he was a hanyou. Truth was that girl had never known what she wanted. With Kagome, the opposite attitude was evident. Kagome had always shown profound devotion to his brothers. And because Inuyasha had suffered so much, when a child, Sesshomaru thought that she was indeed the best for him, she was kind and loving but she had a temper that matched his- she could make Inuyasha happy.

Despite that, Sesshomaru was also aware of the things Inuyasha did to her, the humiliations he made her go through, he slowly destroyed her, stripped her of dignity to making her his slave, to making her keep coming back to him again and again whenever he needed. And if he hadn't sensed the sizzling edges of the would be bond, Inuyasha's youki crackling in powerful red with Kagome's soothing peaceful pink reiki, he'd never believe they're meant to be together for centuries.

But now, he had never been so sure. When he had received that call from Miroku, his voice trembling and failing as he explained him through the phone the circumstances in which his brother had collapsed, he had been sure of what he so tangibly felt but so often would found himself questioning due to Inuyasha's actions. Kagome was to be his mate. In his opinion she should already be, She should already be he affirmed to himself, convinced more and more of his younger sibling's lack of good judgment If she was, this would've never happened. Inuyasha would have never permitted it.

But now his dear otouto, the grown figure of the chibi little boy who'd one day grabbed his aniki's trousers, scared, tears brimming his eyes as he pleaded for haha-ue or chichi-ue... was a shadow.

Slim and elegant pale fingers gripped the bridge of his aristocratic nose, deadly claws prickling the tiredness of his face. How could he help Inuyasha? It was impossible! If she had fallen to the Sumida, she couldn't possibly alive… could she?

Well, it is not impossible.

But that was such a distant notion, the thought that someone could survive to such fall and such force of the nature… it was not rational. What would he do? Inuyasha couldn't stay locked in a room full of ofudas in every exit, powerful, and that what demanded Miroku replacing them every day for the rest of his days.

His mind focused on his own mate...How could he ever get back in two feet if sweet Rin ever died? How could a man replace true love? It was nearly impossible, although many could. But for youkai it was ever so different… the one the Gods had chosen for a youkai wouldn't ever leave his mind, spirit, heart… After they're joined they're the very essence of each other.

As mother sky gave birth to the sun again, Sesshomaru considered his options. Inuyasha was his blood, and chichi-ue had left him in his guard, he couldn't let him do something stupid, but then again how not to do something stupid in a situation like this?

A groan left his tired lips at the same time that nimble pale arms cushioned his back against exposed breasts. Then a mane of black silk draped through his shoulder and chest mingling with the silver that was his precious hair. Rin's breath aired over his neck and he was in that moment, even more aware of her frailty. That breath could be stolen away in a heartbeat, and he had the enemies to do it. In spite of being quite selfish to think about his own mate who was perfectly well, while Inuyasha grieved the lost of his; he couldn't shake the thought of his mind. Rin was his most treasured belonging.

“Koishii “she said “Come to bed. The sun hasn't risen yet.” Her voice husky from the sleep he lacked of.

“I'll go”

A sigh followed his statement, and she looked at him with knowing eyes.

“Are you thinking about Inuyasha?” her voice fell, she too pitied his brother. It was the truth. Although not a Inu-youkai bitch, Rin had the bond, and therefore she could feel mate emotions as strongly as her partner. He didn't answer, and Rin came to stand by his side, his long muscled arm clutching her shoulders to his side strongly. As her doe-eyed also surveyed the landscape Rin finally decided, after some seconds, put her mouth into it.

“It must be unbearable. The guilt. The sudden knowledge that she was his mate… could it really be, love?”

He furrowed perfectly shaped eyebrows in musing and then spoke.

“I…don't know.” His face abruptly filled with surprise, concern. “He can't stay that way…”

Rin's eyes brimmed with tears just as it had happened when she face her brother in law bound to a bed with ofudas , writhing in pain as the red still took over his eyes, his fangs, enlarged, had broken his lips, blood trickled down his chin… And tears rolled down his cheeks. He'd looked at her and begged her to get Kagome. His mate he'd said. She was powerless, and so was Sesshomaru when the same request had been directed to him.

“I know. We have to do something.”

Her answer had no malice. And her husband and mate knew it but it was the last drop in a week of deep frustration due not being able to help his kin. Inuyasha and Rin were all that was left for him, and although he'd never admit it about his brother, he loved him since he was a child, foreign to the world he belonged to. Therefore, he snapped. If the large window walls of his apartment in Tokyo weren't so resistant he'd have shattered them- which could be dangerous seeing he was in the thirteenth floor- when his fists slammed down on it with rage and his forehead joined them, making a misery triangle stamped against Tokyo, still covered in shadows.

“Don't you think I've contacted everyone I know? Of course we have to do something! Do you think I like to see my brother like this…?”

“Sesshomaru, I…” she broke her own sentence with the heaving of a sigh. Then he felt a soothing hand trace patterns along his bare back, her warm cheek coming to rest above one of his shoulder blades. Then a kiss followed.

“We'll find a way to help him, love. Be sure of it.”

Her answer warmed him and he chastised himself for having answered in such a rude manner. Taking his hand in hers he twirled her to his chest and held her thigh, back against the cold glass that he'd just punched before.

“I'll do anything in my power.”

“I know, love.” Her soft voice tender and kind, exactly what he needed made him weak and he succumbed to her.

“I love you, Rin”

“I also know that, love.”

 

 

 

“I still can't understand though!” Inuyasha's best friend languidly lounged with a troubled face in a living room that wasn't his. His partner looked at him with annoyed eyes.

“I won't ever forgive Inuyasha”

“Sango…”

“No!” she refused to hear anything at all about Inuyasha, and although she had been worried as hell when he'd to be bound in his own house, she'd again crumbled to the floor crying both for her best friend and sister's cruel fate, and for Inuyasha's stupidity that had ended her life and endangered his own.”You know better than anyone else my motives are valid.”

“Sango he is an induced coma right now…”

“Shut up!” the glass from where she'd been drinking her casual coke leaning against her couch and watching TV with Miroku was thrown to him and almost grazed his golden earring. Nervously combing his short ponytail Miroku turned sad eyes from her, but cleared his throat.

“He suffered too…He's suffering right now…”

“Miroku don't test me…” Her eyes were freezing when they met his amethyst gaze. He almost shuddered but she already knew how much it affected him when she was angry, he wasn't ready to let her know that he was really scared of her sometimes. “I know things you can't dream of. You can't imagine what she suffered… But she stupidly, so stupidly and blindly in love with that stupid jackass kept … kept coming back…”

He never doubted her.

“Inuyasha was merely confused… imagine what it is to find out because she died, that he was also in love with her, that she was his mate, to be aware of his vile acts against her. He's ashamed of himself… I'm sure of it. I know Inuyasha.”

Inuyasha had always been, since he remembered walking, talking and groping, his best friend. He knew… he knew that man he'd grown to had little to do with the scared little child he'd known younger, but that didn't mean he didn't have to defend him.

This time Sango's eyes glinted with fury, one of her hands came down to slap the surface of the low hibachi.

“Miroku he has left her spread open to go meet the stupid bitch. He has called her name while being with Kagome; He treated her with no honor and no dignity- to him she was a thing. He even slapped her once, when she dare say to him the truth: that she'd seen his precious Kikyo with another guy.” Panting harshly Sango faced Miroku with a knowing bitter smile on her face and then her demeanor changed to longing, her eyes flew to the wall above the TV.

“I wish I could've made it stop.”

She whispered wrapping fighter arms around her knees.

“Don't tell me that he suffered. He's a bastard… But he'd not the only one to blame. No. I am too. I should have never let this continue… The weight of guilt I wear is the weight of the tears she has shed over the time when she came here to cry on my shoulder.” Her head shook in sour realization “I was weak and stupid… I thought he'd be able to change. But no… that stupid whore, was all he ever wanted… Kagome was a play thing… and now… now she's dead” bottom lip quivering Sango embraced her boyfriend and a great sob tore both their insides. Miroku's comforting hands soothed his back as Rin's had done for Sesshomaru.

“It's not your fault Sango… it was…fate.”

She didn't pay attention to his words, instead his shirt was fisted in trembling hands and tears bloodied it.

“She's dead” Sango whispered as if although it had happened a week ago, she was only now beginning to comprehend it. It had downed on her like a brick against a window, shattering. “She's dead…” And heart wrenching sobs emblazoned her phrases, broke them. “She called me that night saying she was doing something stupid, that she'd regret it but that she couldn't stop it… You don't understand Miroku… she tried to tell me but I said she was exaggerating like always. She knew I was drunk, so she said she'd tell me other time…”

Miroku could only cry for her, and for the destruction he saw around him. Still he believed, no one else suffered more that Inuyasha now.

 

 

 

 

His alpha had locked him. The room was so overwhelmed in ofudas that the walls crisped with spiritual power, and that was why the walls had the burning marks of his punches.

His hands were bloodied and raw; he could see in some places his knuckles under the melted flesh. Red fire eyes and turquoise iris surveyed the room with wrath and he watched the puddle stained floor with his blood like a sheath covering it. The spiritual power slowed his healing process, but he didn't care, now Inuyasha welcomed the pain he deserved with open arms, called for it, kissed it in the mouth like a strange lover who he'd give himself too.

This room contained exhibit of three kinds of injuries. The one he had brought on himself by trying to break free from his jail- the dungeons of the western shiro- he'd tried to smash himself against walls, had punched them, and kicked them. These were the walls that prevented him of searching his mate. He refused to believe…

Then it contained the proof of his self mutilation. He'd bitten his own fingers, trying not to claw his heart of his chest, because it hurt so much he'd felt tike tearing it apart. He missed her; he missed her already so much- he'd never been more than four days without Kagome, and seven miserable days had passed. He couldn't believe she was …

And it also was embedded in the worst injury he had. The grief that threatened to tear him apart, made him roll in the ground, trying to ease the heaviness he felt in his body that didn't even let him get on two feet. No, he denied the possibility of her being dead.

But he could never deny the guilt that was constantly choking him, that prevented air to his lungs- only the amount needed to make him live and suffering.

Now hazy minded, and with his vision painted the red of anguish, Inuyasha saw more clearly than ever. She had been his mate and he'd demeaned her, humiliated her. She could never love him. And although he couldn't accept her supposed death, he'd never marked her convinced of his love for the other bitch- although he'd had that urge many, many times, over the time he'd fucked her- and because she didn't bore his crest upon her skin he'd never be sure, he couldn't feel her live, her breath in his lungs, like he had to make himself sure they're in hers.

He had to make himself sure because he needed her alive, and he'd to be alive to search her. And if he believed her truly dead, he'd die too. Although they're not connected in flesh, she's the only one he'd crave yearn, long for as long as he was alive, she was water to mitigate his eternal thirst now that he was sure of what she was for him.

Silver hair sizzled and burned when the head where it was attached connected strongly with the wall behind it. A crack marked the violent opening of that same skull that would heal itself eventually, he had no more tears to cry, he had no more blood to shed, he'd no more throat to howl and scream, because the lack of her made his body ache and blister.

Now that he was full demon he'd clarity, and he chastised the hanyou junction he was for the lack of good judgment, and although they're not marked mates, now that he'd had her he felt the missing of her body against his sweaty, groaning, circling him. He needed her, it wasn't merely want. She was the beating of his heart; she pumped blood into his vein.

His sight glazed over when his eyes fell over the only thing his alpha had let him keep. Talking was harsh for him in his youkai form but he still felt the eminent need to growl a mutter of her name as he buried his sensitive nose in her shirt.

Despair had never clung to him so harshly, had never filled his pores in such agony, threatening to take hold of his spirit and overwhelm him so much with guilt.

The guilt, the guilt he felt over ever having stepped out of her embrace that night when he'd had her so ferociously.

And he remembered it clearly, as if the memory lived beneath his skin, behind his eyes, tattooed in his ribs and heart.

Flashback

Inuyasha looked angrily at his cell phone, Kikyo had said she was going to meet him at Insomnia lounge in Shibuya. Then when he'd gotten there, she'd called him saying she didn't want to meet him anymore and that she'd call him later, and she'd hung up.

So his idea was, relief, that being Kagome.

Taking his sophisticated cell phone to his mouth and waited.

“Ya-Yasha?” her voice was sleepy and groggy and he looked at the clock in his wrist, looking from the inside of his BMW to the road that would take him to her house. The Higurashi shrine. A smirk stretched his hasty lips when he saw 2 AM in the black Seiko watch.

“You asleep?” he rasped

“Uh… yeah… What's the matter?”

“Nothing at all. I was just wondering if you want to have a drink…”

“Actually I have to study tomorrow morn…”

“Hey! C'mon it's Friday night. I'll go and get you.” She seemed uncomfortable when she answered and that annoyed him. Kagome should never be uncomfortable near him. But still her response was affirmative and he gave it no more thought.

“Sure… I needed to talk to you anyway. But I'll bring my car. “

“Fine then, meet me at Insomnia in Shibuya”

He hated when she wanted to bring her car, and didn't even thought about what she had said about talking. That was the most distant thing in his mind right now. Bringing her car meant she said she'd end up on her stomach in his bed sheaths and would leave right after. He didn't care though that was what he needed tonight. Not playing tonight. Relieving the ache Kikyo's rejection had left in his loins. She'd already hung up.

Redirecting his car to shibuya ward, he found Insomnia comfortably and sat with a brand-new double whisky in a white plush couch, waiting for her.

And when he started to see male heads twirl to the door, and some jaws slackening, Inuyasha twirled his too in a swirl of beautiful hue of silver, knowing it was her. He'd never been so possessive with someone as he was with Kagome and a growl made its way out of his throat when he saw her coming in with one of those damn pleated mini-skirts that could've belonged to a seirufuku if it wasn't so fucking short, knee length white socks and high heeled black shoes and one of his white shirts open to reveal a tight white wife beater. Gods she was so hot, his skin was on fire. Her hair was ever so disheveled and it curled to her lower back, the shiny locks hued by the soft blue light that filled the cocktail lounge.

Big blue-grey eyes rose from the floor to him, when he was suddenly in front of her, one arm circling her waist and smashing her body against his. She tried to shake his hold, aware of the amount of people watching them from the corner of their eyes, but he pulled her harder to him and growled in a low baritone voice.

“What bitch? You're mine; it's a good thing they're watching.”

“Inuyasha…” she complained, just by using his name and escaped his hold directing herself to the counter.

Annoyed he followed her there, and then to the table where he'd waited for her and where he'd left his whisky.

Half-hooded eyes gazed on his and her sensual alluring voice soothed his ears. Kagome was the perfect cure to any time of frustration.

“So… I haven't seen you in a while” Of course not, he'd spent his days last two days with Kikyo. He shrugged her indirect question and answered nonchalantly that he'd been busy. She narrowed her eyes on him and then avoided his look. Taking a sip of her margarita. He observed with a sheath of dark lust over his amber eyes the way her plum lips embraced the glass and shivered.

“That's nice.” Her voice was cold and measured and this time it was him who found himself narrowing his eyes on her .What the hell was wrong with her?

“What about you?” if she needed to loosen up then they talk drink and dance, But he needed to have her tonight.

“Nothing much I went to have lunch with the girls and Hojo-kun the other day…”

“You did what?” he growled, his glass of whisky rolling to the floor, the rest of the topaz liquid spreading in an ominous stain.

She avoided his reproofing glare and stirred her drink with the straw.

Slamming two bills of 1000 yens on the table he stood up and walked to his prey slowly, his intention of punish her for what she had just said covering his features. Kagome's eyes again found his as he stopped looking to a distant couple and met his dark lusty and punishing amber orbs. Suddenly a clawed hand was on her arm and she was being dragged out of Insomnia. New thing she knew she had been slammed against his BMW. His boy immediately covering hers.

“What did I say about meeting with that boy?” his voice harsh and she displeased eyes looked away again with a frown. The same demanding clawed hand came up to make her gently look at him. Their noses almost touching. Another clawed hand making his way to the inside of her wife beater.

“You said I was forbidden.” She sputtered, and then her poise became more confident. Her chin high as she spoke again “But I don't really think you have anything to with it. It's my life. I mean I don't forbid you to meet Kikyo, Gods forgive if I ever say anything about your girlfriend- who you cheat with me- ever again right Inuyasha? Wouldn't want to be slapped again”

Her voice had a bitter edge to it that he'd never heard from her and it shook him to his toes, his hand moving from her chin to her throat, his claws burying in her skin without breaking it this time, as he reassured himself that she was still there, under his body, under his control. His body shaking as he remembered the time when it had been his hand throwing her against the bad, when she'd said something he said it was the true about Kikyo.

“I don't know where you're going with this Kagome, but you're not leaving my side.”

“No.” she agreed, her eyes straining to the side again, a stupid tear fleeing from her sad gaze as she softly whispered. “Because I'm addicted, because I'm too weak.”

“Good.”And his lips clashed on hers, punishing, raw and aching, drawing red welts on the plum skin of her once pure petals

When both minds returned from the lust filled fog they had been swimming in since they both had parked each car in front of the Daikanyama Heights , Inuyasha was opening the door and giving her time to breath the familiar scent of his house. Then they're on each other again… his hands disposing her of his shirt, ripping her wife beater in two, so that she'd leave with one of his shirts again, as he led her to the room she knew so well, they tripped over objects in the floor, in their hurried pace, her hands worked him off the black shirt he wore quickly without snapping a single button, deed he wasn't able to perform.

“Yasha…”

“Say it” he ordered between nips to her bottom hip and to her long and elegant neck, which she bared to him willingly, wantonly. Her nimble hands encircling his neck, pulling him closer, making him feel the hardness of her nipples in his skin, his hands now searching the zipper of the skirt. He actually enjoyed her skirts, they showed off her long shapely legs, legs he also wanted always wrapped around him.

“I won't” she whined in his ear, her tongue stretching out of her mouth to lick it, but suddenly, she found her back meeting his crimson satin comforter. He growled and smirked at the figure of her, naked from the waist up, the zipper of her skin open and the garment slid of her forever long legs when he pulled it. His taunt firm body leisurely covering hers, one of his hands dragging itself from her leg to her crotch where he found her silk lace panties soaked with juices, the fruit of his control.

“You know you won't have it of you don't say it…” The hanyou sign sang as his fingers dived in her heat, inside her panties., her back arched off the bed to met his lips, and he grabbed a nipple, sucked on it like a hungry babe as the other hand kneaded the other breast. Her legs rubbed furiously, her cheeks were tainted in red, as was her chest, her hair was even more disheveled and her plum lips were even more appealing shaped in a sensual `o' but…

“Open your damn eyes, little girl, and say it or you won't get it.” He growled in her hear, his jeans too tight for the rocking hard erection that sat between his legs as his finger circled her nether lips and clit, eliciting loud moans from her throat , a throat he laved with kisses, nipped on with a satisfying sense of control, even if he was getting blue balls, he was going make her say it, she was so wet, her slit stick and sultry, and he fell in love once again for that sin.

“You know I can make it worse. Say it.”

But her hand had escaped his control, and was no easing him off of his belt and trousers, taking his bulging hard on in her hand through his boxers, clutching it tightly and giving t along with the squeeze and firm jerk. He hissed and rolled back his eyes.

“Bitch, let go of that, you'll just have it when you say it.” His voice was harder and husky, lust drowned him every time he opened his eyes and saw her, the little once maiden that he had tainted so many times.

“Think how hot and wet it is inside baby” she moaned to his floor when he inserted a finger in her the palm of his hand pressing against her clit, she shook uncontrollably, bucking against his hand. “Don't you want to have me on my hands and knees? Or do you want me to ride it tonight?”

He growled in her ear and bit her when her sultry words travelled to him and he rocked his hips and his erection in her hand, his body shaking. But he was too stubborn to give up; she was always the one to give up.

Golden eyes met blue-grey hooded one and he knew she was going to be hard today; therefore his body began the heaven's descent, his mouth now, hovering just above the dark silk of her panties. His rough tongue tasted the wet silk and both she and he rolled their eyes backwards. He tasted her arousal and immediately he'd to take that silken barrier of to merge his tongue in hers, needing to feel her fluid running down his chin.

Burying his nose and mouth on her shaved velvet heaven a growl ebbed in her flesh and she cried out loud, a hand pushing his face deeper in her as tears escaped her eyes , his hands massaging her, from tight to breast where he found a hard nipple waiting for his caresses, the other hand holding her leg up from the back of her knee. His fang pinched her nerves and she cried out to the ceiling again.

Above the small patch of dark curls he enjoyed her pleasure. The pleasure she herself had admitted she was addicted. So was he…

“Onegai! Onegai shimasu! “She groggily rasped out loud, her eyes glazed over. For a moment he stopped his ministrations and licked his lips, his chin resting on her pelvic bone, but one of his fingers, from the hand that had been supporting her leg made its sneaky way to her wet folds and caressed them, her lashed fluttered but she didn't yield.

“What else?”

“I won't see him again”

With a cocky smile he slid his body along hers and kissed her passionately, her taste savoring her desire for the hot specimen over her.

“Please Yasha…”

“That's a good girl” he kissed her again and a hiss eased his length into her tight passage, her velvet crevices were pillowed and warm and wet, so wet, sticky.

“Fuck” he swore under his breath as her hips bucked against him.

“Keep your eyes open, Kagome. Or I'll stop.” His voice was an order she could no longer deny. She needed his, needed him. He was an addiction. She knew he wouldn't be able to stop now that he'd began to grind in her, a airy sigh leaving her lips as she admitted to herself that she wasn't able to deny it to him. And she opened glazed over eyes to him.

Hooking the back of her knees in his elbow junction, she looked aside to meet the view of her knees, and down to meet the erotic sight of his hard and thick length plummet in her aching soaked boy. Flesh met flesh and he groaned near her ear:

“You're so wet for me, so ready… How does it feel?

“So good baby, so good… “She whimpered, a tinge of hysterics to her talk, as if she was afraid he would stop. Her arms desperately closed in on his neck, her hands escaping to his sweaty mane of silver strands.

His trusts evolved from deep and measured to the harsh frantic fucking he knew she liked. She mewled louder and he groaned harsher when he felt her snug entrance close in on his shaft.

“Who do you belong to?” he required from her.

“I love you” but her answer was soft and sincere.

He kept quiet for the rest of the rut, almost affronted with her familiar admission. Even as she dressed, grabbed her car keys and left without saying goodbye. He'd no idea it would be the last time he'd see her.

End of flashback

The taste of blood sheltered his tongue and he realized he was biting himself again. No it wasn't the last time. Looking down at his dirtied jeans he acknowledged the bulge in his pants but embraced the pain that it would give. He couldn't touch it. Has stupid as it seemed, he couldn't do it.

Disgust and self-loathing filled him as he returned his hand to the brisk air and noticed the fang marks on its palm. A hand that'd been in so much contact with her, so many times. He was madly jealous with his body suddenly who'd come closer to her, than his mind ever would. Because he'd believed the love he nurtured for the other creature, the other lying stupid bitch was the real thing. He could never go mad because Kikyo… but Kagome… he was doing it successfully for her.

He no longer sought for absolution of his sins, he just sought for a goodbye. Because even though he believed her alive he'd too many things to repent for… to even think in absolution. Kagome should never h ave to see him again.

He sought for the peace that would come from closing himself in a dark room without her forever. Gloomy pain slashed him like a thunder and he screamed, new tears blazing his sight.

“Kagome…” he murmured again pressing the cloth against his nose.

But he'd get her back.

 

Pain will you return it
I'll say it again - pain
Pain will you return it
I won't say it again

I give in
Again and again
I give in
Will you give it to be
I give in
I'll say it again
I give in

Depeche Mode- `Strangelove'

 

Chino-chan

When economical crisis strike, let's review, its freeee!