InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Accidentally Funny ❯ Open Mouth, Insert paw ( Chapter 26 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: kanna37 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Comedy | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 06.18.2011 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 535 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Comedy | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 06.18.2011 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 535 | Status: Work In Progress
Open Mouth, Insert paw
Sesshoumaru stretched, nude and satisfied. He'd had his mate every which way but up in the last few days, and that position would come, too. After all, he had a little thing like eternity to spend 'burying his bone' in his sweet little mate.
He smirked down at her adorable pout, not at all put out at her sulky expression. She was simply a poor loser. And he'd known since early in the game, just after he'd joined with his brother's group, that she would lose, that he'd get the miko in the end – once she'd come back through the well with his scent on her, after being at home for days.
That had been quite the ego boost, he would admit – and her tale of him trying to mark her in a certain distinctly canine way had given him a good inner laugh... no need for her to ever know that he wouldn't really have ever done such a thing. After all, what would be the point of peeing on ones mate? They would simply beat you to death, then go and bathe the scent away, rendering the whole thing pointless. No... it was much more pleasant to mark your mate in certain other, more potent ways – ways that they couldn't wash away no matter how much they tried. He smirked harder.
And no one could deny, with the scent wafting off the miko, just who owned her pretty little ass now. He'd beaten out all his opponents, gotten rid of Naraku, and rendered the jewel impotent, so he felt justified in the gloating he was indulging in at this point in time.
It was obvious his mate disagreed, however.
“Come, miko – why the dark face? You cannot tell me you haven't enjoyed the last few days, for I'll not believe you. Not with all the moaning, whining, and begging you did. It was quite... memorable, after all. And loud.”
She scowled at him. “Very funny, Sesshoumaru! But don't think I won't get you back someday for being so underhanded as to use a house to have your way with me. And for that stupid marking joke you seem to think is so funny!” With a huff, she crawled out of the futon, barely avoiding his lunge, and trotted over to the perpetually hot bath that sat on the other side of the room.
Sesshoumaru couldn't help the interested purr that went through him at that threat – his tiny female was quite imaginative when it came to revenge. Just look at that... thing she'd called a 'movie' that she'd brought for him to view out of revenge for him forcing her to read that naughty scroll. That had actually shocked him – for all of five minutes. And then he'd simply plotted to one day use that same 'movie' to get back at her.
Hm. Neverending revenge cycles over... rather interesting subjects. What a way to keep your sex life alive, he mused, listening to his miko splashing in the water.
“Bathing will not help you, Kagome. My scent is permanently in you now, and you will never be able to wash it away,” he said, smug satisfaction in his tone. He wondered if she would catch on to his words...
Irate shriek... yes, she caught my meaning. A wicked smirk tilted his lips, and he got up and sauntered over to the bath, climbing into it behind her, and taking it over, just like he did everything else.
Kagome's indignance died a quick death...
At least for a while.
~oOo~
It was a given that at some point, Sesshoumaru's gloating would get him into trouble.
That happened five days after he'd mated the miko he'd coveted for so long, just as they touched back down in the village where the rest of the group was gathered.
The moment Inuyasha came out and scented Kagome, he got a look of absolute revulsion on his face. “Don't you ever lose anything?” he groused at his brother. “It's like you always know your gonna win. It's downright disgusting!”
Sesshoumaru smirked. “In this instance, you are correct, Inuyasha. I did know that I would triumph ahead of time.” He glanced at his suddenly narrow-eyed mate, then back at his brother, that smug look that Kagome hated back on his face. “Would you like to know how I knew?” he asked.
Inuyasha growled, but nodded.
“Just after I joined your group, the miko went home, her nerves in need of some... calming-” he shot her a knowing look, “-and when she came back, I met her here. Do you remember, mate? It was when you told me of a dog that was trying to mark you.” He was proud of himself in that moment, at the comical look on her face, he wanted nothing more than to laugh aloud, but he kept his cool, and finished his statement at her reluctant nod. “What I did not tell you at the time, was that the 'dog' that was tormenting you on the other side of time, was me. I could smell my own scent on you the moment you crawled out of the well.”
Dead silence fell at that – the wind stopped blowing, the birds stopped chirping... and Inuyasha's jaw hit the ground as he stared at first his brother, and then the fuming, red-faced, very pissed off miko that was glaring at Sesshoumaru as though to set him on fire with just her eyes.
“You mean to tell me, that dog that kept trying to maul me back at home, was you?” she asked, voice dangerously quiet.
Sesshoumaru cocked a mocking brow at her. “Come, miko. Do you really think this one would allow another to attempt to mark you – even on the other side of time? Had it truly been another inu trying to claim you, I would have found a way through the well and eliminated him.”
He blinked in sudden disquiet when he heard a definitely inu growl come from the miko's direction, and it belatedly occurred to him to wonder if perhaps he'd gloated a little too much.
He had, but it was too late to take it all back now.
“ARGH!” Kagome screamed at the sky, totally infuriated. “YOU DAMN INU AND YOUR FRIGGIN' DOMINANCE ISSUES! AND YOUR GLOATING!!! AND THAT DAMN MARKING THING YOU THINK IS SO FUNNY!!!!!”
She looked back down at a very leery daiyoukai, and speared him with a glare so deadly, he was surprised it hadn't seared the air right out of his lungs.
“You've been patting yourself on the back for weeks now, haven't you, Sesshoumaru? Thinking you'd won.” An absolutely evil smile crossed her lips then, at his wary look, and she snickered. “Too bad for you I'm going to get the last laugh. Until I feel that I've had as much time to gloat about what I'm about to do to you, as you had to gloat about your scheming, you won't be getting back up my skirt. Guess you're going to be looking up a lot of cold water,” she said, her turn to sound smug as his expression turned to one of absolute horror.
“Kagome,” he growled, “that was weeks ago. Don't tell me you mean to-”
She cut him off in more ways than one as she turned to saunter off towards Kaede's hut.
“Yup. Get ready for several weeks of celibacy, Sesshoumaru. That's what you get for having paw in mouth disease! I guess you need to learn when to keep your big mouth shut, don't you?”
He growled savagely as Inuyasha went into hysterical laughter, his only consolation for the pain he was about to endure, being the chance to beat on the hanyou.
The laughter was abruptly cut off as a hand clamped around his neck, and Inuyasha stared at his brother's red-haloed eyes with trepidation.
“My pain, is your pain, half-breed. Until she lets me back into her bed, you won't have a peaceful moment.”
Inuyasha whimpered. “Why me?”
His brother's answer proved he was still as evil a bastard as ever.
“Because she will more than likely give in sooner than she planned if I cause you pain. After all, she can't stand to see her friends being harmed, ne? Think of yourself as emotional blackmail made just for her.”
That was the last thing Inuyasha heard for some time, because his brother knocked him out almost immediately.
If Kagome didn't cave in soon, Inuyasha might not make it out of the Sengoku Jidai alive.
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Sesshoumaru stretched, nude and satisfied. He'd had his mate every which way but up in the last few days, and that position would come, too. After all, he had a little thing like eternity to spend 'burying his bone' in his sweet little mate.
He smirked down at her adorable pout, not at all put out at her sulky expression. She was simply a poor loser. And he'd known since early in the game, just after he'd joined with his brother's group, that she would lose, that he'd get the miko in the end – once she'd come back through the well with his scent on her, after being at home for days.
That had been quite the ego boost, he would admit – and her tale of him trying to mark her in a certain distinctly canine way had given him a good inner laugh... no need for her to ever know that he wouldn't really have ever done such a thing. After all, what would be the point of peeing on ones mate? They would simply beat you to death, then go and bathe the scent away, rendering the whole thing pointless. No... it was much more pleasant to mark your mate in certain other, more potent ways – ways that they couldn't wash away no matter how much they tried. He smirked harder.
And no one could deny, with the scent wafting off the miko, just who owned her pretty little ass now. He'd beaten out all his opponents, gotten rid of Naraku, and rendered the jewel impotent, so he felt justified in the gloating he was indulging in at this point in time.
It was obvious his mate disagreed, however.
“Come, miko – why the dark face? You cannot tell me you haven't enjoyed the last few days, for I'll not believe you. Not with all the moaning, whining, and begging you did. It was quite... memorable, after all. And loud.”
She scowled at him. “Very funny, Sesshoumaru! But don't think I won't get you back someday for being so underhanded as to use a house to have your way with me. And for that stupid marking joke you seem to think is so funny!” With a huff, she crawled out of the futon, barely avoiding his lunge, and trotted over to the perpetually hot bath that sat on the other side of the room.
Sesshoumaru couldn't help the interested purr that went through him at that threat – his tiny female was quite imaginative when it came to revenge. Just look at that... thing she'd called a 'movie' that she'd brought for him to view out of revenge for him forcing her to read that naughty scroll. That had actually shocked him – for all of five minutes. And then he'd simply plotted to one day use that same 'movie' to get back at her.
Hm. Neverending revenge cycles over... rather interesting subjects. What a way to keep your sex life alive, he mused, listening to his miko splashing in the water.
“Bathing will not help you, Kagome. My scent is permanently in you now, and you will never be able to wash it away,” he said, smug satisfaction in his tone. He wondered if she would catch on to his words...
Irate shriek... yes, she caught my meaning. A wicked smirk tilted his lips, and he got up and sauntered over to the bath, climbing into it behind her, and taking it over, just like he did everything else.
Kagome's indignance died a quick death...
At least for a while.
~oOo~
It was a given that at some point, Sesshoumaru's gloating would get him into trouble.
That happened five days after he'd mated the miko he'd coveted for so long, just as they touched back down in the village where the rest of the group was gathered.
The moment Inuyasha came out and scented Kagome, he got a look of absolute revulsion on his face. “Don't you ever lose anything?” he groused at his brother. “It's like you always know your gonna win. It's downright disgusting!”
Sesshoumaru smirked. “In this instance, you are correct, Inuyasha. I did know that I would triumph ahead of time.” He glanced at his suddenly narrow-eyed mate, then back at his brother, that smug look that Kagome hated back on his face. “Would you like to know how I knew?” he asked.
Inuyasha growled, but nodded.
“Just after I joined your group, the miko went home, her nerves in need of some... calming-” he shot her a knowing look, “-and when she came back, I met her here. Do you remember, mate? It was when you told me of a dog that was trying to mark you.” He was proud of himself in that moment, at the comical look on her face, he wanted nothing more than to laugh aloud, but he kept his cool, and finished his statement at her reluctant nod. “What I did not tell you at the time, was that the 'dog' that was tormenting you on the other side of time, was me. I could smell my own scent on you the moment you crawled out of the well.”
Dead silence fell at that – the wind stopped blowing, the birds stopped chirping... and Inuyasha's jaw hit the ground as he stared at first his brother, and then the fuming, red-faced, very pissed off miko that was glaring at Sesshoumaru as though to set him on fire with just her eyes.
“You mean to tell me, that dog that kept trying to maul me back at home, was you?” she asked, voice dangerously quiet.
Sesshoumaru cocked a mocking brow at her. “Come, miko. Do you really think this one would allow another to attempt to mark you – even on the other side of time? Had it truly been another inu trying to claim you, I would have found a way through the well and eliminated him.”
He blinked in sudden disquiet when he heard a definitely inu growl come from the miko's direction, and it belatedly occurred to him to wonder if perhaps he'd gloated a little too much.
He had, but it was too late to take it all back now.
“ARGH!” Kagome screamed at the sky, totally infuriated. “YOU DAMN INU AND YOUR FRIGGIN' DOMINANCE ISSUES! AND YOUR GLOATING!!! AND THAT DAMN MARKING THING YOU THINK IS SO FUNNY!!!!!”
She looked back down at a very leery daiyoukai, and speared him with a glare so deadly, he was surprised it hadn't seared the air right out of his lungs.
“You've been patting yourself on the back for weeks now, haven't you, Sesshoumaru? Thinking you'd won.” An absolutely evil smile crossed her lips then, at his wary look, and she snickered. “Too bad for you I'm going to get the last laugh. Until I feel that I've had as much time to gloat about what I'm about to do to you, as you had to gloat about your scheming, you won't be getting back up my skirt. Guess you're going to be looking up a lot of cold water,” she said, her turn to sound smug as his expression turned to one of absolute horror.
“Kagome,” he growled, “that was weeks ago. Don't tell me you mean to-”
She cut him off in more ways than one as she turned to saunter off towards Kaede's hut.
“Yup. Get ready for several weeks of celibacy, Sesshoumaru. That's what you get for having paw in mouth disease! I guess you need to learn when to keep your big mouth shut, don't you?”
He growled savagely as Inuyasha went into hysterical laughter, his only consolation for the pain he was about to endure, being the chance to beat on the hanyou.
The laughter was abruptly cut off as a hand clamped around his neck, and Inuyasha stared at his brother's red-haloed eyes with trepidation.
“My pain, is your pain, half-breed. Until she lets me back into her bed, you won't have a peaceful moment.”
Inuyasha whimpered. “Why me?”
His brother's answer proved he was still as evil a bastard as ever.
“Because she will more than likely give in sooner than she planned if I cause you pain. After all, she can't stand to see her friends being harmed, ne? Think of yourself as emotional blackmail made just for her.”
That was the last thing Inuyasha heard for some time, because his brother knocked him out almost immediately.
If Kagome didn't cave in soon, Inuyasha might not make it out of the Sengoku Jidai alive.
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