InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Adore ❯ Obscured ( Chapter 4 )

A/N: I forgot to mention earlier that this is actually an older fic of mine. I posted these chapters on fanfiction.net two years ago before my life went crazy and writing (unfortunately) was put on my backburner. I've since then setting down a bit and now have finally gotten around to putting it up on mm.org. Despite this, I AM aware of not-so-recent events in the manga which now make this situation impossible. I was extremely saddened by Kagura's fate. That aside, this chapter is very emotionally charged. And (just because I know someone might get on my case about this) please keep in mind that I'm trying to write a somewhat decent angst story and just because I write about it, doesn't mean I condone certain actions the characters might take. I firmly believe all issues should be examined from both points of view if we are to understand and except them, which is why censorship somewhat irks me. If warnings and the proper rating are given, I believe all aspects of life and the human mind deserve to be explored. Ignorance is the worst enemy of all, in my personal opinion. As for the lemon, most people seemed afraid I was going to throw it in too soon (I was actually considering it for the very last chapter, which is quite a ways to go. I haven't even reached the halfway point!) Either way, I've decided against it for now; I think I just want to keep the story focused on emotions for the time being. However, sex will at least be implied since it's important to the story and the healing process. Trust me; I am well aware that this is a subject which must be handled delicately. That said, enjoy.

 

Disclaimer: Crap, forgot to disclaim the songs! All songs lyrics are property of the Smashing Pumpkins and their respective record companies *cough*Naraku incarnates*cough* (I downloaded the song I use in this chapter too. Ironic, huh?)

 

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Chapter 4: Obscured

 

By Kenkaya

 

Naraku leered over her. Sleek, black curls tumbled over his bare shoulders like snaking vines. Reaching for her. Curling around her. Strangling her.

 

Kagura jerked awake, choking on a forlorn scream. She was alone on the road. It was over. Naraku was dead. A sigh of relief blew past her scarlet lips, but somehow, the sound fell flat on her ears. He wasn't dead inside her. He lived on in fear and hatred, trapping her in an endless cycle she could never hope to escape from. Kouga was living proof of that.

 

“Kouga,” she whispered to the wind.

 

He was gone.

 

~Lost your head

 

Now you sleep on the floor

 

What you said

 

I don't want anymore~

 

The wolf prince watched with critical eyes as the elemental jolted from her slumber, gagging on something that sounded suspiciously like a scream. Azure irises narrowed as her body quaked, releasing a massive outtake of breath. Kouga suppressed a snort when her torso twisted, ruby eyes wide as she searched for him. The wind youkai scanned his hiding place and he stepped deeper into the shadows. Better safe than sorry he always thought.

 

With another sigh, she finally stood, dusted off her simple yukata and smoothed her mussed raven locks. Setting the small pack straight on her shoulders, the wind sorceress continued her trek, perpendicular to Kouga's mountain.

 

The wolf felt a wave of relief wash over him. She wasn't interested in the rest of his pack after all. Their numbers were already so dangerously low, particularly the male populace. With this year's almost pathetic batch of cubs, he was seriously beginning to wonder if he would ever be able to build up his tribe to its former glory. Certainly not in his lifetime.

 

His clan was broken; all but decimated and scattered. The struggle for the Shikon shards, the fight with Naraku, all of these factors had put a definite strain on his leadership. Since the final battle, coupled with the aftermath of Kagome's loss, Kouga just didn't have the heart to put in much effort reuniting and building up the pack like he should. He had failed as a leader and a man. The only solution was to redeem himself, to find the old strength that had driven him as the wolf prince.

 

So he watched the raven-haired beauty, following her upwind from the shadows. Kagura had gotten him into the mess with Naraku. And as soon as Kagura appeared, he would run his claws down that creamy swan neck.

 

~Through the haze

 

Make your eyes up to ache~

 

The road was desolate as always. The chill of early autumn permeated through the air, chasing would-be travelers away with the promise of an early, harsh winter. The isolation suited Kagura just fine. She continued her journey, walking on without reason or purpose. Days passed since she last came across a human settlement. Days since Kouga cornered her on the road. The passage of time put her mind somewhat at ease. Darkness fell across the sky and she halted, sniffing for a reasonable camp. She could smell water nearby, a river. Her lips curved upward. A bath didn't sound like a bad idea.

 

Wildlife chirped and squawked around her. Kagura breathed in the scent of moist earth and life. The woodland calmed her with its vast aura like nothing else could. She spent all her nights among the wilderness for that very reason; every night since she left her old life behind. Being in the open, surrounded by smells and noises that completely contradicted her ways under Naraku, she reveled in that simple rebellion.

 

Long gone were the days confined in his castle, the stench of poison and death assaulting her nostrils, the roars of numerous youkai and the moans of the suffering. Kagura wished with all her heart she could say she was disgusted by it then. That a shiver of sadistic pleasure didn't crawl up her spine when she walked those despicable halls. But the truth was; she was programmed to take delight in pain, to enjoy dishing out death. Or at the very least, not care. It made her that much more of an efficient killing machine, that's why he held her heart hostage. He made sure she didn't know any better.

 

But it didn't stop her from hurting now.

 

~Out in space

 

Days away~

 

Laughter.

 

She jerked her head up just in time to catch the scent of humans on her path. The voices were carefree, happy, and she was certain more than one held the high pitch accent of a child. A smile crept on cold lips. She couldn't explain it, but children melted her heart in a way few things could. Perhaps the feeling had something to do with envy, and a desire to protect what she never got to have. She had been born without a chance to grow, to learn.

 

Naraku didn't prepare her for emotions like she was experiencing now. Traditional morals would have gotten in the way of her duty and he knew that too well. The result left nothing but confusion in the wake of her current thoughts. Kagura felt many new things along her journey, but never before had she felt so cheated.

 

The happy family crested the hill, seven heads by her count.

 

And two men. Burly men.

 

Panic set in. How could she have not noticed? Their deep baritones, chuckling in wry amusement, how could she have heard the children over them? Not realize that surely they would be accompanied by strong protectors? Her previous thoughts were forgotten as fear kicked in, setting her system in overdrive. Only one thing mattered to her; she needed to hide. She needed to hide NOW.

 

“Youkai!” one of the men shouted in alarm.

 

She couldn't hide! They saw her! Singled her out. They were going to hurt her! They were going to kill her!

 

“Stupid bitch!” Naraku hissed in her ear as he snapped her neck back. Clawing her shoulders in a grotesque imitation of a caress. It hurt. Her skin tingled, repeating sensation through memory. She couldn't distinguish fiction from reality anymore.

 

She grabbed her fan, she had to escape him. Kagura's mind was blank, on autopilot as she flicked the spine, releasing her weapon. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she saw the sword and knew the puny weapon was a human device. It would take more than that to bring her down, but fear was too powerful. Adrenaline raced through her blood, boiling, overriding rational thought. Everything became so hauntingly simple.

 

She felt threatened. She had to remove the threat.

 

Wind; it exploded through her fingertips, rushed along the supports of her fan, and burst forth in a concentrated force. She heard screams, they seemed so distant, she swiped again. Blades flew, blood splattered, and still she attacked. She didn't care that the humans stood no chance against her power. It didn't matter when her blades reached beyond the men to their charges. Nothing was sacred anymore. This was survival in its purest form.

 

The silence awakened her senses. Kagura reeled. The smell of blood, it was so strong. Ruby orbs scanned the burgundy ground; two men, mutilated beyond recognition, twin katana besides them, both in poor condition. The sight was disturbing, but a slight twisting of her gut was the only reaction. She had seen worse before. Much worse. Her gaze traveled beyond them and Kagura swore she felt her heart stop for a moment.

 

Women, huddled, bleeding, reeking of fear and death. A tiny hand, soft, new, hanging limply through what must have been a tender embrace in life. It was a little girl, frame sallow from a few recently skipped meals, dark mane a matted mess. She was so delicate, red leaking from parted lips; skin a pasty pale color. But what bore into Kagura's soul was a single, visible eye. That lifeless brown, staring vacantly into nothing, clouding over, a testament to her cruelty.

 

Kagura felt herself shake, the fan fall. She desperately wanted to be anywhere but there, in front of a massacre of her own doing. At a lost for anything else, she ran.

 

Hair thumped against her back. Stray branches reached out, tearing, grabbing. She panted, unaware of anything except the overwhelming desire to flee. She smelled water. Water was nice. Water was clean. She sprinted for it.

 

Reaching the bank, Kagura stripped. She pulled and yanked, ripping cloth in a frenzy to expose herself. Finally free, she dove into the icy depths, ducking before breaking the surface with an exaggerated gasp. She ignored the cold, refused to feel it, as she set about cleaning herself. She scrubbed. She scrubbed with her fingertips. She could still feel him. She scrubbed with her claws. The blood surprised her at first, but she ignored it in favor of cleansing herself. Before she knew it, her skin was shredded, tainting the water a rosy hue. Nothing worked. She ducked again, screaming her frustration into the river's currant. Bubbles flew from her mouth, stretching, popping.

 

Kagura's mind fluttered, singling one thought out and grasping it. The hand. The eye. The wasted life of that dismal, little child.

 

She had killed before; the act was nothing new to her, but for some reason the injustice of it all fell on her the minute she spotted that tiny hand, crushed between a dead woman's arms.

 

The wind user centered her thoughts as she ran out of air. That woman, in a panic that could rival hers, followed her most primal instinct; to shield a little girl in her final moments. To give her life. Kagura felt suddenly inferior. Naraku was not purged from her yet; her first instinct was still to kill. Her most heartfelt wish, to be free, suddenly seemed so hopeless now.

 

Her lungs begged for air.

 

She hugged herself, refusing to think more on the matter. Her mind was overloaded, shutting down, leaving her to face the raw emotions on her own. She could only feel, feel as she took a deep breath and sucked water into her strained lungs. Fire. It burned a trail of flames inside her, leaving a cool feeling in its wake, not unpleasant. It was so calm, dying like this; it didn't really feel like dying. She had always imaged from her victims' reactions that the process would be painfully jarring. Perhaps for them it had been. This feeling of release, she didn't want to let it go quite yet. Her mind slowly faded, it was becoming harder to focus on the swaying river grass beneath her toes.

 

She was youkai; a being of imitation flesh, driven by power and emotion. Her essence was the wind. She was mighty. But she was not immune to the elements. She could still burn. She could still drown. No one was invincible, not even Naraku.

 

For some reason, that thought put a smile on her face.

 

Her eyes drooped shut, bringing blessed darkness to her conflicted world. Her body grew limp as she passed out. She never felt the masculine arms pull her up.

 

~Through these eyes

 

I've relied on all I've seen

 

Obscured~

 

Kouga lifted Kagura's heavy body out of the water and set her on shore. Distilled liquid leaked from her nostrils and Kouga found himself furiously beating her with his fists, attempting to jumpstart her lungs. Finally, she coughed and sputtered, spitting up river water. Ignoring the attractive woman's obvious nudity, the wolf youkai spied her hastily discarded clothing and quickly set himself to the task of drying and dressing her. He wrapped her in green, fumbling with scarlet ties that taunted him, matching her eyes. Once complete, he gathered twigs to build a small fire and covered her prone form with a small blanket he found in her pack, lying haplessly where she dropped it before. She shivered, Kouga rushed to carry her closer to the blaze.

 

Even the wolf prince was confused over his diligent care. Kagura was an enemy he swore to destroy at all costs. Now, he was saving her life and worrying over her pale color. Worrying? Yes, that was the right word. He couldn't help but wonder how he got himself into this situation.

 

The last few days had been rather uneventful. Kagura walked, he followed. Nothing happened. He still couldn't kill her. Kouga was practically screaming for a good run by sunset to release the pent up frustration inside.

 

And he would have left her too, thoroughly convinced the wind witch could do nothing more than walk until nightfall; dusk had already fallen.

 

She stopped. Kouga saw nothing strange about her action. The elfish women lifted her nose in the air, tentatively sniffing the surrounding area, standard procedure for breaking camp. She seemed pleased for a moment and took a few steps forward, only to halt once more. Kouga was perplexed to say the least. Nothing was out of the ordinary, except for the humans he sensed approaching, but he didn't see why that would make a difference. They were mostly women from the sound of it.

 

Then she did something that really threw him for a loop; she smiled. Not the sadistic smile he knew so well from their early fights, nor the smug one that haunted him that fateful day months ago. It was a soft movement of the mouth, almost wistful, a gentle expression that didn't quite reach her eyes. He found, in spite of himself, wondering why that was.

 

Feh, women! He'd never understand them.

 

The humans crested the hill, the majority women, as Kouga suspected, with a couple children trailing behind and the expected manly protectors marching on either side.

 

That was around the time everything went to Hell.

 

Kagura's face darkened, painted over with a fear he couldn't understand. She stood shocked for a moment before stumbling back as if to flee. The men shouted an alarm, preparing to do their job as the women scuttled back with their precious cargo. Kouga watched in almost shameful fascination as Kagura whipped out her fan and turned to face her assailants. They attacked in a predictable manner. She showed no mercy.

 

The wolf immediately knew something was very wrong. He fought Kagura many times, knew her habits. Her assault may have been brutal, but it lacked her usual finesse. She was attacking blindly, left and right, almost clumsily. As for her expression, he shuttered at the lack of it. Her face was completely blank, no air of confidence, no smirk of casual indifference. In fact, everything about her was rigidly emotionless expect her eyes. The ruby pools were clouded over with panic, insatiable fear. Kouga wondered if she even realized when her wind blades swept past the men's corpses. Women screamed, children wailed. They crouched and hugged each other in a sad display of hopeless fear. Kouga found himself fighting the urge to shut his eyes to the whole scene in front of him. He snorted mentally. Kagome really did make him soft.

 

Kagura released a few more sweeps over the silent dead before she reacted. Violently. She reeled, stumbling back as she snuffed, shaking her head as if to rid her nose of a horrible stench. Her eyes fell on the men before her. A slight shiver and a small curve of distaste on ruby red lips was her only physical reaction. In truth, it was a shock to him she expressed as much.

 

Then she saw the women.

 

Kouga had to admit they were a sad sight, almost beautifully tragic in their helpless display. A girl child hung from their embrace, limply clutching her failed protector. He heard something fall and turned to find Kagura trembling. Her fan lay on the ground, forgotten. After everything he witnessed, Kouga unknowingly allowed a small thread of pity to creep up on him.

 

Then she ran.

 

He was stunned for a moment, unsure how to react. Kagura had finally showed her true colors, hadn't she? Only a cold-blooded murderer could so ruthlessly cut down a child. Sure, he had done the same a few times before, but he reformed for Kagome. Shouldn't he be rushing to kill the wind witch?

 

The wolf prince stepped out of the shadows onto the battle scene. He ignored the blood slick soil as it squished through his toes. He ignored the bodies, staring blankly ahead. Instead, he focused on the fan, discarded. Stained. Carnage seeped through the once pristine, ivory white paper. Brown. Rusty red. Some old. Some new. And to the side, near the top, a lonely spot of green that smelled faintly of grass. That little green blotch captivated Kouga, until he awoke to find himself lifting the weapon from the ground, closing the folds and tucking it carefully into his belt. He ran after her.

 

The path was easy enough to follow, filled with broken branches and the salty tinge of sweat. He stopped at the tree line and looked down on the river. She stood there, waist deep, the spider scar etched vividly on her back. Moist, raven strands clung to her bare shoulders, giving the atmosphere an almost alluring feel. The mood was broken by the heavy aroma of blood in the air. Kouga suppressed a startled gasp as the reality of her motions hit him.

 

She was hurting herself.

 

Kagura ducked under the surface, great pockets of air bubbling up, followed by muffled sound. Kouga knew she was screaming. An unwanted emotion began to eat away at his resolve, tearing apart his intentions like crusty, day-old bread. The very thought of striking her down now seemed just as immoral as it did when she lay exposed on the road. In fact, he began to wonder, just briefly, why he felt the need to end her life in the first place. She wasn't coming up for air. The meaning of this was not lost on him.

 

He remembered her dance, trying desperately to rehash the image of his tribesmen clawing at him, drawing blood. Their movements jerky like marionettes on a string. Those eyes, blank as snow, forever burned in his psyche and above it all, a tempting red. This is why he hated her. This is why Kagura had to die. The simple mantra roared to a crescendo in his head.

 

Her scarred back floated in sight, barely covered by the lazy waves; rocking rhythmically with their steady, lapping currant. All sense of purpose left him then.

 

Hence, the mighty youkai leader of the wolf tribe found himself stroking a cozy fire, watching the fitful slumber of his slated enemy with a steadfast, cerulean gaze.

 

~Through these eyes

 

It looks like I'm home tonight~

 

She had been a bad girl.

 

The thought seemed inanely childish to her, but fitting nonetheless. It was nothing new; the feelings arose many times over her bids for freedom long ago. The foundling presence of morality only increased the rate of these occurrences; comparison being on the ratio of a child frightened over a parent discovering the lie versus a woman worried over the consequences paid for that lie. Either way, punishment was without option.

 

A presence shifted above her. She shuttered, withdrawing into herself, preparing for the inevitable pain. He always got her in the end.

 

It never came.

 

Kagura opened her eyes. Red met intense blue. Kouga leered over her, staring intently, black hair falling casually over broad shoulders. If not for her past and the emotions associated with it, Kagura might have found the whole experience rather erotic. As it was, her mind was set on the expectation of punishment and, as far as she was concerned, all signs of sex led to that inevitable result.

 

Claws raked out as a feminine scream pierced the night.

 

~Left for dead

 

As you sweep off the floor~

 

Kouga fell back, surprised not for the first time that night. He had been studying her, trying to figure out his actions, creeping closer and closer, until he was practically on top of the unconscious figure. Questions tormented him. Why did he care about this woman? This cruel, beautiful woman. Her eyes snapped open searching his with a hauntingly familiar perplexity. Again, he saw the fear. What was she afraid of?

 

The proud youkai fingered his breastplate in shock. Her wipe swipe barely dinged the polished surface, but his head still rung with confusion. She scurried back on clumsy knees, everything about her posture screaming violation. What had he done?

 

“The Hell was that for, bitch?!”

 

She hissed in response. His hackles rose at the animalistic sound, so primal, the raw emotion expressed more vividly than mere words could do justice. She attempted to stand afterwards, to put herself on a plain of security, but ended up tripping over her messily wrapped yukata, succeeding only in placing herself in a more sorry state. Ruby orbs widened as she finally realized that she was indeed clothed.

 

Kouga observed the strange behavior with creased brow. Her shock left him open to ask the one question he never imagined demanding of her.

 

“Why did you try to kill yourself?”

 

Her expression grew slack. The wolf suppressed an urge to smile, relieved that at least all her actions weren't completely unpredictable. Her response would have him eating those words.

 

“What gave you that idea?”

 

He watched her eyes harden through paralyses. Her body straightened. He could see the wall rising, brick by brick.

 

“I have no desire to end my life. Aren't you here to kill me yourself?”

 

His head jolted at her words. She was right. Still, he questioned her.

 

“You didn't come up for air. Don't give me that bullshit.”

 

“Why are you doing this?!” she shrieked, scooting further away from him and clutching her head. Dark tangles weeded through her fingers. “You're not making any sense! Why aren't you attacking me?!”

 

“Do you want me too?!” he roared, standing to tower over her. “I'll rip your throat out right now if you dare me to!”

 

He stepped back when she started shaking. Despite the overwhelming fear rolling off her scent, she sat tall, almost proud. He could see it for what it was now, the infamous “tough-guy” act. He had used the defense many times himself.

 

“Do you really think I'm heartless enough to kill someone on their knees? Even you?” he tossed his head and snorted. She visibly flinched. “You haven't answered my question.”

 

“Why do you care?” she spat, practically growling like a cornered animal.

 

“Humor me,” he shot back, infuriating her with his cocky tone.

 

“Why should I? You've made no secret of your desire for revenge and, to top it off, you accuse me of suicide!”

 

“Why didn't you come up for air?”

 

~Things we said

 

We don't need anymore~

 

“I---” she felt something inside break. She yearned for understanding, someone to unload herself on; Kikyou seemed so long ago. But this man wished for her death, she wasn't that broken. Not yet. She had to escape.

 

“Well?”

 

He was impatient, not surprising, really, considering his nature. But what could she possibly say? Then it hit her.

 

“I--- I almost killed myself,” she whispered.

 

“No shit,” Kouga scoffed. Kagura jumped. She had almost forgotten he was there.

 

“B--- but I didn't want to! I wasn't trying to---” the words fell dead on her tongue. The reality was harsh, and Kouga couldn't possibly offer the understanding she craved. It was so peaceful; she just wanted to stay like that a little longer. She wasn't stupid, she knew her actions would result in death, but it never occurred to her in that pivotal moment that she would actually die.

 

“Peaceful?” the wolf questioned with a lift to his eyebrow. Kagura clapped slender fingers against her lips, realizing she had spoken some of her thoughts aloud. Where had she picked up that annoying habit, anyway? “Now who's not making sense, woman?”

 

“If you're not going to kill me, just leave me alone!” she screamed, falling back into defense mode. “It makes sense to me and that's all that matters! It's none of your damn business! It never was!”

 

“I decide my own business,” Kouga snapped. “You are no one to judge.”

 

“Don't play the saint with me,” Kagura responded icily. It was happening again; words spilled from her mouth like the plague. She couldn't stop if she wanted too; she was just an observer at this point. “You followed me here didn't you? Why else would you be here? You never sought out my company before. Well? What now? Were you planning to slit my throat in my sleep? Or perhaps you were waiting for that one special moment of helplessness to make it all worthwhile? You'd enjoy that, wouldn't you?” a bitter laugh escaped. “So much for honor, eh wolf? Or is that the reason you failed? How pathetic.”

 

Before she could even blink, a clawed hand grabbed her throat and lifted her body off the ground.

 

~Tear inside her

 

Like a fallen coward~

 

Kouga was very angry. He held Kagura high, enjoying the choking noises, the desperate gasps for air. Her pain satisfied him, lessened the sting of failure, the failures she so brutally threw in his face with the mere sound of her voice. He wanted to watch her skin turn blue, hear the bones in her neck crack; he wanted his ears to ring with that final bloodcurdling scream. This was revenge, sweet and simple, and he basked in every minute of it.

 

She was crying. Even without the aid of smell, he could see the salty drops collecting on her lashes, spilling over to fall listlessly to the earth. She grasped him with weakened arms. He gazed into desperate ruby eyes with all the malice, all the glory, he could muster and saw his reflection.

 

He dropped her.

 

Cerulean orbs glazed over in shock as Kagura crumpled, wiping furiously at her face with closed fists. Kouga knew what he saw and it could only be called sadistic; he enjoyed squeezing the life out of her, took pride in it, his face twisted in a look of confidence and pleasure.

 

The roles had been reversed; nearly a year ago, she had been the one smiling as he suffered. He remembered the proud lift of her chin, exposing slender white sinew to tease him. Her fan would unfold, bringing that brow-ticking little twitch of the lips before her winds accosted him. He would reach out to her, invisible blades piercing his skin, pushing him back, as he cried her name in retribution. Back then, she had laughed at his attempts, and now, he realized, he wouldn't hesitate to do the same.

 

He had become the enemy. And he hated himself for it.

 

“Am I really that weak inside?” he whispered.

 

~Through these eyes

 

I deny on all I see

 

Obscured~

 

Kagura peaked at the youkai prince standing over her. She felt dirty, her skin soiled, clothes and hair disarrayed. But most of all, she could still feel his muscular hands choking her, hurting her, just like Naraku did. She had done him a great injustice, and now she was being punished. She deserved it, she knew that, but that didn't mean she had to accept it. A voice told her to fight back, a strong voice she vaguely recalled from days long past. But she felt so feeble---

 

“Am I really that weak inside?”

 

His question caught her off guard. How could he call himself weak? She was the one curled at his feet. Didn't he know he was winning?

 

“Get up.”

 

Her head snapped up to meet his gaze. He was glaring at her with an emotionless sort of detachment. She didn't know how to respond. Instead, she bowed her head in a distinctly submissive gesture, hoping he would be satisfied.

 

“Didn't you hear me, woman? I said get up!”

 

He grabbed her arm and jerked. The movement was rough and jarring, but not intentionally painful. When the wolf let go, she stumbled to regain balance on her feet. The weakness in her limbs did nothing to help.

 

“And you call yourself youkai,” he snorted at her pitiful display. The steadying hands on her shoulders quickly melted the anger into shock.

 

“What do you think you're doing?!” she exclaimed, tripping backwards and nearly falling flat on her rear.

 

“Helping you up, since it's obvious you can't do it yourself.”

 

“Go to Hell!” Kagura screamed. “I don't need your false pity!”

 

He smirked and tossed his black ponytail haughtily. “I don't think you're in any condition to look a gift horse in the mouth.”

 

His actions enraged Kagura. He was playing games, that was the only explanation, and she didn't like it one bit. Her emotions were strung high enough as it was.

 

“You manipulative bastard,” she hissed. “You're no different. I'm not some goddamn puppet that dances at your whims! If you're not going to be straight with me, then leave me with whatever peace I have left to me!”

 

The puzzled quirk of his eyebrows lifted as if some stray thought finally dawned on him. The smirk returned and he looked her straight in the eye. She felt the familiar fear nagging.

 

“I think I'm gonna keep my eye on you for a while,” he proposed.

 

“What?”

 

“Congratulations,” he grinned, apparently pleased with the reaction he got out of her. “You just got yourself a new travel partner.”

 

“NO!” she protested vehemently. “How stupid do you think I am?! What are you playing at?!”

 

“I swore to kill Kagura,” he began with narrowed sapphire. “But you're--- different somehow. So, I've decided I'm gonna sum up your worth. See if you really deserve my forgiveness.”

 

“Of course I don't deserve it, you idiot!” she shrieked without thinking.

 

“You do know you just cemented my decision with that little outburst.”

 

“You can't do this,” Kagura fumed. “I won't let you follow me around like a dog. I don't trust you not to pull something.”

 

“I've been following you for days. You've been unconscious in front of me twice. If I was gonna do something like that, you'd be dead by now. Unless you've got something to hide?” he cracked his knuckles menacingly.

 

She pressed her lips together, unable to answer. She had plenty of things to hide, just not in the manner he was thinking. Fear was bubbling up inside her and it was getting harder and harder to keep the boiling waters from spilling over the pot. Fear, she learned, was the ultimate enemy and it was a hard lesson learned indeed. Naraku practically fed off the emotion; the more violently she reacted to him, the more pleasure he gained and the longer the episode. She found no example to make her think any differently. Thus, she concluded that Kouga must never find out just how much his male presence unnerved her. It was a matter of life and death.

 

“Well, I've made up my mind,” the wolf piped up, snapping Kagura out of her revere. “You just have to deal with it.”

 

~Through these eyes

 

Looks like I'm home tonight~

 

Kouga felt victorious. He had found a solution and the heavy weight of conflict had finally been lifted from his shoulders. He watched Kagura with a lighter heart as she hurriedly tried to straighten her clothes, summoning as much dignity as she could muster, given the circumstances. Now he could observe her out in the open, no more hiding, no more slinking through shadows. He certainly couldn't dismiss the newfound liberation.

 

When the elemental could finally walk without tripping over herself, she rushed over to her pack and fumbled with the ties. She cursed when her claws ripped the cloth and eventually threw the mess back to the ground, “hmph”ing and folding her baggy sleeves in annoyance.

 

Kouga found the whole scene quite amusing.

 

“What's so damn funny?!”

 

“Nothing,” Kouga chuckled, walking around the fire he lit and settling down near a tree opposite her. “Nothing at all.”

 

“You're--- you're not staying here,” she stuttered.

 

“I thought we already went through this,” he sighed, leaning back against the trunk. “And, as I remember it, I won.”

 

“You didn't win anything, wolf. Get away from me.”

 

“Might as well make yourself comfortable, place's as good as any to spend the night,” he replied, ignoring her.

 

“Goddamn you!” Kagura grabbed her pack, holding the ties closed with one hand.

 

“Leaving so soon?” Kouga questioned after her retreat. “It's past dark.”

 

“I don't care!” Kagura threw over her shoulder before the night engulfed her. Kouga sighed wriggling against the rough bark to make himself more comfortable. She wouldn't go too far; he'd catch up to her in the morning.

 

However, something about Kagura disturbed him deeply, and he had a gut feeling it had to do with the fear she tried, and failed, to hide. It didn't make sense; he could understand him (to an extent), but why did she fear those humans? Even as far as to kill helpless children? She abandoned her only real weapon in a fit of hysteria. What happened to the cocky warrior he could hate in peace?

 

Deciding these questions were better left for tomorrow, the wolf let his eyelids droop and gave in to restless sleep.

 

~What you said

 

Made a mess of me~

 

As soon as she was sure Kouga couldn't see her, Kagura broke into a run. Pebbles dug deep into the ball and heel of her bare feet. She stumbled, hit and bruised by low branches. She didn't slow until his scent was gone, too far away to torment her. Eventually, she fell to her knees, exhausted.

 

The trees towered over her like silent sentinels. The sounds of the night rang through her ears, chasing the nightmares away with their presence. She flopped to the ground, nuzzling the earth, taking in the comforting smell of moist dirt; of life.

 

After a few minutes, the wind user rolled onto her back to watch the sky. She wouldn't sleep, not with Kouga out there, not after displaying such weakness in front of him.

 

The stars shone brightly through the dark, a beacon of hope to her battered soul. For two years she survived Naraku and his devices. For five months she traveled alone, living off her own integrity. Kagura wasn't about to die after all that. Her suffering, her sacrifices; she wanted to believe they weren't in vain.

 

But she had dealt out her own share of misery as well. The wolf prince's vendetta was not without merit. And wasn't it only today that she had cut down an innocent child? Didn't the instinct to kill rise every time that debilitating fear consumed her? Was it her destiny to always be the killer?

 

No, she had been his victim. That experience still haunted her and Kagura knew, depressing as the knowledge was, that it would never go away. His touch was forever ingrained in her nightmares and deepest fears. The most she could hope for was to push forward and move on, despite her hesitation. She only hoped it was possible to get that far. Hope was the only thing left to her in this existence. But one thing was certain; she never intended to be the victim again, be it Naraku or Kouga.

 

Never.

 

“Are we born for life or death?”

 

The question floated through her mind as she watched the sun rise. Light filled her vision as the stars faded away; a metaphor for her sanity, she thought with a snort. Reluctantly, she pushed herself off the ground. Time to move on again.

 

“Oi.”

 

The voice of that infernal wolf. She tensed. He had followed her, not shocking in the least, but still startling. She didn't sense him at all. Didn't hear a thing. That, more than anything, scared her.

 

Something solid whistled through the air. Heading straight for her. It was going to hit her! She whirled around without a second thought to intercept the object with her hand.

 

And caught her fan.

 

Surprised, the wind witch turned skeptical eyes on Kouga, standing before her in all his glory. He tossed his head vainly and smirked in typical male fashion. She took a step back as the old panic resurfaced.

 

“What do you say we make a deal,” he drawled lazily. “I'll trust you with my life and you trust me with yours.”

 

“I could never trust you,” she responded stiffly.

 

“Then we're even.”

 

He walked ahead of her as she stood in shock, “Well? Are you coming?”

 

“I'm never going to get rid of you, am I?” she muttered in annoyance.

 

“Glad you figured that out. Now come on, let's get going.”

 

As she saw it, Kagura had two choices. One; follow Kouga and possibly escape his revenge or, most likely, be killed later on. Two; continue provoking him and die now. He saw her weakness last night; he knew he could overpower her easily. She fell back on her old mindset, the art of how to choose the lesser of two evils.

 

“My God, woman! Do I have to carry you?!”

 

“No!” Kagura answered in a rush. He smiled when she began to follow him and turned back to the road leaving her to brood quietly in the dust.

 

She kept a firm grip on her fan the entire time.

 

~What you said

 

I don't want

 

Obscured~