InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Advice Column- Sesshoumaru Style ❯ Hair, Boas, and One Smut Fiend ( Chapter 3 )

Dear Sesshoumaru,

How do you get you hair to be so shiny and sliky?

Dry split ends

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Dear Dry split ends,

My hair is a result of my proud demon heritage. A pathetic human such as yourself could never hope to have hair such as mine.

Lord Sesshoumaru

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Dear Dry split ends,

Oh my God! Okay, first I have this awesome salon shampoo and conditioner. The shampoo is a very clarifying and moisturizing one. The intense conditioner really helps treat the damage that all the weather and *ahem* action cause. I then use this awesome de-frizzer. Believe it or not, I have very fly-away hair, so I also use a straightening cream that adds weight. I also quite frequently flat iron my hair, especially when it's humid.

However, I've been told that my hair looks best when I wake up in the morning, all tousled. You should come over tonight and tomorrow morning, I'll get your opinion…

I'll Be Waiting…

Sesshou

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Dear Lord Sesshomaru/Sessho,

I have a sick obession with writing InuYasha lemons. It just...doesn't go away. I think I have an addiction to smut, any adivce on what I should do?

Much Love,

Smut Fiend

P.S. Sooo, how much would it take to get one sexy demon lord naked and in my bed? *wink wink, nudge nudge*

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Dear Smut Fiend,

HUMAN! I will never lower myself to mate with a human. I will not tolerate being spoken to with such disrespect, and your proposition is preposterous.

Lord Sesshoumaru

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Dear Smut Fiend,

::Throws on coat while shoving handcuffs and other such necessities into overnight bag. Shoots out the door holding Smut Fiend's envelope in his hand.::

See you Soon!

Sesshou

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Dear Sesshoumaru,

I just have to ask: What is that fluffy thing on your shoulder?

Has to know

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Dear Has to Know,

Human, it is not your place to question such things. Speak to me again and I shall see that you suffer greatly before I finally put an end to your pathetic existence.

Lord Sesshoumaru

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Dear Has to Know,

Well… that all depends. There are many uses for such an… adaptable… appendage. It can be a tail if I want it to be, or a boa, or a blanket. I guess it all depends on whose company I am enjoying, and what clothes I'm wearing. Or not wearing ::smiles mischievously::

Hope you got a good visual

Sesshou

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Dear Sesshoumaru,

How fast can you travel when you are transformed into your dog self?

Anonymous

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Dear Anonymous,

I can move fast enough to catch and crush any who defy or disturb me, and that includes you human.

Lord Sesshoumaru

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Dear Anonymous,

A DOG?!?!? Where? EWWWW! Dogs are mean, and they have fleas, and they SMELL! I hate dogs! They're gross. ::InuYasha shows up and swats him over the head::

"You're a dog-demon, you idiot!" WHAT?!?!? Ewwww…. I'm gross. I need a bath. And I need to brush my teeth…

Disgusted

Sesshou

P.S. I guess that being a dog-demon does give me an excuse to try a new position. ::rummages through pile of letters, finding HIS TRUE LOVE'S picture and address::

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Dear Naraku,

Why are you such a mean person?

Angel

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Dear Angel,

What? I'm a nice guy… Once you get to know me. ::Looks around at the doubtful looks from the Inu gang, hangs his head in defeat:: I need a hug.

Cordially

Naraku