InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Advice Column- Sesshoumaru Style ❯ Eyeliner, Hair Pulling and Technical Difficulties ( Chapter 8 )

Eyeliner, Hair Pulling and Technical Difficulties:

A/N from Kilala81: From now on things will be done a little…differently. Due to an attempt on my life ::looks pointedly at Lord Sesshoumaru:: A certain Demon Lord will be wearing subjugation beads. He's not real pleased about this, so try to not piss him off. Sesshou will be wearing them too because...well quite frankly I, as well as every other female, needs to be protected.

BTW, sorry it is taking me so long to post these…I am finishing up another story at the same time. I will be working on more of the questions and will get another chapter up as soon as I get a chance.

I am now offering my SINCEREST apologies for the chapter you are about to read. ::Kilala81 hangs her head in shame:: So very sorry...

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Dear Kagome,

Why do you like Inuyasha? He's strong and all but he's kinda dumb -.- well anyways, gimme a call, i think you're hot...

love,
intrigued
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Dear intrigued,

:: Blushes:: Thank you…ummm, that is very sweet of you.

::InuYasha grabs intrigued::

"What the fuck did you just call me?!? You better stay away from Kagome you little…"

"InuYasha, SIT!" ::Inu assumes that oh so familiar position::

:: Sesshou runs by grabbing the Tetsusaiga then sprints off giggling manically::

::Sigh:: What was your number again? I really need a new boyfriend. ::Looks at Sesshou who is giggling and swinging the sword around wildly:: Please tell me you don't have any brothers…

Kagome
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Dear Sesshoumaru

Why do you wear red eyeliner? Your Hanyou Half-Brother said it is proof you are secretly in love with Naraku. (Who wears purple eye liner) Is it true? *Thinks* *Runs away screaming*

A Young Inu Youkai
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Dear Young Inu Youkai,

What the fuck? I never said anything about Sesshoumaru being in love with… ::Inaudible sounds coming from InuYasha's now restricted throat::

:: Kilala81 is forced to intervene:: "SIT!"

:: Lord Sesshoumaru and InuYasha both plummet to the ground in front of one another::

"Wench, the second this spell wears off you will die."

"Damnit, Young Inu Youkai…what did I tell you about pissing him off today?!?" ::Looks down at Sesshoumaru:: "Well, you can at least answer her questions about the eye liner…"

::Growls:: I do not wear eye liner, wench. The colors are merely part of my demon markings.

A Slightly Pissed,
Lord Sesshoumaru
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D ear Sesshomaru,

What is your reasoning for hating humans? Not all of us smell bad ya know!
Oh, and I wanted to say that I think your tail, or whatever you want to use it for is absolutely KAWAII! And what's wrong with mating humans? If ya ever
change your mind about it........I'm here!

Sesshy's Koi,
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Dear Sesshy's Koi,

HUMAN! You will NEVER again refer to any part of my person as kawaii. This Sesshoumaru is the Great Demon Lord of the Western Lands. :: Gritting Teeth and suppressing a growl::

Regarding my feelings towards humans, I do not hate them. Hating humans would require caring enough about their petty existence to show that much emotion. I am merely disgusted by their very presence.

As far as mating with you, human, the thought is beyond revolting.

Know that I will remember this and once I have these subjugation beads removed, I will hunt you down and ensure that you pay for your disrespect with your life.

Lord Sesshoumaru
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Dear Lord Fluffy-sama and the Sexy Hot Sesshou...,

(i have bad spelling so bear with me ok?) in one of the Inuyasha episodes when inuyasha turns full demon *sreak of which...* you meet Kagura. Well she was flirting with you! How do you feel about that?? Did you even know she was doing that?? i think Jaken knows!! do you like Jaken? Because in a fanfic I read Jaken asked you to marry him... and you screamed like a girl and ran away! How do you feel about that?? Oh yah AND I'M A VERY POWERFUL DEMON! I CAN BEET YOU IN BATTLE! I KNOW ALL OF YOUR TRICKS!! MUAHAHAHA*COUGH,COUGH,HACK,HACK* HELLO HOW ARE YOU?

Inuyasha's little Angel,
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Dear Inuyasha's little Angel,

:: Claws Unsheathe themselves and eyes bleed red::

You will in the future only address me as Lord Sesshoumaru, Great Demon Lord of the Western Lands. If you ever address me as Fluffy-sama again, I will personally ::shoots a withering glare at Kilala81:: deliver you to Naraku for further torture and punishment. ::Naraku grins evilly::

Tell me the name of this fanfic, as you refer to it. I will find the human that would dare write such vile things about me and see that they meet a painful demise.

As for your question involving the wind demoness…as long as she is part of that filthy half-breed, I have no desire to consort with her in any manner.

::Steps closer in a threatening manner::

Do you dare challenge this Sesshoumaru? ::catches another glance of Kilala81 and glares down at Inuyasha's little Angel:: For now I will overlook your blatant disregard for my honor. But in the future I will accept your challenge and see that you are brought to a painful and much deserved death.


Lord Sesshoumaru, Great Demon Lord of the Western Lands

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Dear SESSHOU'S Little Angel,

Kagura is quite an attractive demon. Though I MUCH prefer angels myself. ::winks playfully::
Tell me, my sweet Angel; is there any chance that I could get into, well….heaven tonight?

Devilishly Yours,
Sesshou

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Dear Sesshomaru and Sesshou,

Why do you want to kill Inuyasha? Why don't you just make him your slave? That way we wouldn't have to see Inuyasha die, and you would be happy!

Just curious,
Shorty
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Dear Shorty,

This Sesshoumaru has less than no desire to have that pathetic half breed as a slave. The fact that he shares blood with me is disgraceful and an embarrassment to my very honor and I will spend my every waking moment dedicated to removing him from this world.

Lord Sesshoumaru
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Dear Shorty,

I've never tried to kill InuYasha! Well…there was that once when he pulled my hair. NOBODY touches my hair.
::InuYasha walks up behind Sesshou and laughs::

"THAT was trying to KILL me?! I thought you were just slapping wildly while screaming like a little girl?"

::InuYasha bursts into laughter as Sesshou once again begins slapping viciously at him with an enraged look on his face::

"Shut up! I do not scream like a girl!"
::He stopped shortly when he realized that he was having no effect on InuYasha except to make him laugh harder with his indignant screeches::

:: Sesshou smiles smugly::

InuYasha was fearing for his life, even if he doesn't want to admit it.

::Lord Sesshoumaru stands appalled that the God's have cursed him with the pathetic half-breed sharing his blood, and the mindless pervert that shared his image::

Ruthlessly
Sesshou

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Dear Naraku,

I'll join you to kick Inuyasha's ass. You know what he did? Stole MY ramen! I was taking a stroll in the Feudal Era, left my Ramen alone and when I turned around, he was running off with it! -Smirks, tossing her hair.- So, can I join ya, Naraku-sama? -winks.-

-ShiroInu,
One Hopeful Dog Demon.
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Dear ShiroInu,

What the fuck are you talking about bitch? It's your own damn fault you left that ramen sitting there. You wanna kick my ass, then come over here and give it a try.

::Kilala81:: SIT! This question was for Naraku, NOT you InuYasha.

::Naraku takes a look at ShiroInu:: I will accept your allegiance, however, know that if you ever cross me you will suffer greatly.

Naraku
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Dear Sesshoumaru/Sesshou,

Do you take female demons as sex toys? You know the whole 'one night stand' stuff. Also, what qualities do you look for in a mate? -:: steals a piece of both's hair and runs away screaming.::

ShiroInu
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Dear ShiroInu,

:: Sesshoumaru prepares to pounce on ShiroInu and rip her apart::

::Kilala81 is forced to intervene again::

"SIT!"

::Sesshoumaru plummets to the ground::

::Kilala81 hears crashing then swearing behind her and turns to see InuYasha subdued as well, then turns to her left and sees Sesshou on the ground whining about his clothes being dirty::

"HUMAN! The second this spell wears off, I will rip you apart before I hunt down that ShiroInu and do the same to her."

"Well, in that case SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT!"

::Kilala81 runs after ShiroInu and the two attempt to hide::

"You do realize he is going to kill us the minute that spell wears off, right?!?"

::ShiroInu holds up the pieces of hair that she took and laughs::

"It was worth it…"

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Dear ShiroInu,

::Sesshou stands slowly, red seeping into his eyes as his fingers brushed through his hair. Finding the offended spot, his demon instincts take over and he shoots off after the girls::

::Minutes later, Kilala81 sauntered back, laughing.::

InuYasha chuckles, "What's the matter, did he try to slap you guys to death?"

"No, he transformed into his dog self. He quickly forgot about us though, when he realized what he was. He started screaming and saying something about being gross and needing a bath…"

::Sesshou is in the nearest lake scrubbing vigorously at all the skin he can reach, and rinsing his mouth out repeatedly::

Mortified
Sesshou

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Dear Sesshomaru and Sesshou,

Do you think that its wrong that i have a whole shrine dedicated to a certain demon ::cough cough:: SESSHOMARU ::cough::? A lot of my friends think I'm over obsessive, and that i should get a boyfriend before i go mad with this obsession. Please help!

Sincerely,
Shorty
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Dear Shorty,

I care not what a human such as yourself does in your spare time. However, if I find that you are in league with ShiruInu, and have my hair in your possession, your death will come as surely as hers.

Lord Sesshoumaru
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Dear Shorty,

The answer to your problems are quite simple really. You should worship me personally, instead of a mere shrine. I have no problem letting you worship me, in fact I encourage…no, insist upon it. Maybe we can arrange for you to have a few more, ummm…photos for your shrine. ::winks while smiling wickedly::

Clothing optional
Sesshou
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Dear inuyasha,

you do know that your big strong brother Lord Sesshoumaru is way stronger than you? and why do you hate Shippo?? are you jealous? oh yah you do know that if you turn full-youkai you R going to kill Kagome and Kikyou!

Inuyasha's Little Angel
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Dear…ummm…InuYasha's little Angel

If Sesshoumaru is so much stronger than me then how come he is the one missing an arm and I still have the Tetsusaiga? He's a fuckin' coward! Sesshouma-

:: InuYasha's cut short when the Tokijin nearly takes his head off…soon both the Tetsusaiga and Tokijin clash and the whole place is being ripped apart by angry demons::

::Suddenly, an eerie, green glow fills the room as Sesshoumaru's acid whip is unleashed::



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WE'RE SORRY THIS PROGRAM HAS BEEN INTERRUPTED DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES